View Full Version : Would you ask a guy to marry you?
CKXXX
09-18-2008, 05:52 PM
No.There are very few things I'm old fashioned about, and this is one of them. ANd the way my husband proposed was so sweet and romantic....its a memory I wouldnt trade for anything.
PrettyCurlieQ
09-18-2008, 05:57 PM
I wouldn't get down on one knee with a ring, but I'd bring up the topic of marriage. I wouldn't propose in that technical sense.
lexi2008
09-18-2008, 10:12 PM
Hell. no.
PleasureVictim
09-19-2008, 02:50 AM
I never would. If I met someone who didn't want to get married ever it would not bother me.
CinammonGirl
09-19-2008, 10:18 AM
Yes, but I never have b/c I haven't met a man that I feel that strongly about to marry.
Spankie55
09-20-2008, 07:41 PM
I would ask.
It seems kinda silly,and hopefully Ill never have to.
But I would if he took to long.
GoldCoastGirl
09-21-2008, 07:38 PM
Exactly. I told my husband that the next step in our relationship was obviously marriage and gave him a deadline for him to propose by or otherwise I would move out. I know that it sounds a little cold hearted but we truly love each other a lot and although he had always told me that he wanted to get married he needed that extra push from me to truly commit, get a ring, and propose to me. I also had a rule that I would never stay with a guy longer than 2 years unless he proposed to me.
I have my own rule of thumb. If the man I'm romantically involved with and myself have not killed each other... even after living together for a min. of 6 months .... then I would be ;D;D open to being proposed to for marriage. Why? Because I feel six months living together is enough of a 'trial' period to see if this is the person I want to be with in a legally committed sense.
Ultimately, the man does the asking. I will gladly "float" the idea and discuss it.. and put it on the table as such... however in the end.. I want him to "officially" ask me ;)
greggy
09-22-2008, 09:46 AM
I wouldn't ask b/c I just feel that if he wanted to marry me, he'd ask. Him asking me is the only way I'd know for sure that it's something that he wanted to do on his own, not b/c he feels pressured.
The guy I'm seeing now says that he's been proposed to twice. I let him know it's not gonna be me.
iambonbon05
09-23-2008, 04:38 PM
So I was thinking about this earlier and what makes it so much better to drop hints, nag, and/or threaten to get a guy to ask than it is to just ask?
Not directed at anybody, just wondering. I personally would prefer that he'd just ask me but between asking myself or goading him into it, I'd take the former.
Nope. I'm too old-fashioned and traditional. If he really wants to be with me for the rest of his life then he can make it known.
"we should get married"
"alrighty"
Hahaha! I remember that Sex & The City episode. Poor Charlotte. :P
Also, I'm not generally old-fashioned and traditional, but this is one subject I do feel strongly about. I also absolutely 100% believe in Pre-nups.
ViolaStrings
09-23-2008, 07:15 PM
So I was thinking about this earlier and what makes it so much better to drop hints, nag, and/or threaten to get a guy to ask than it is to just ask?
Not directed at anybody, just wondering. I personally would prefer that he'd just ask me but between asking myself or goading him into it, I'd take the former.
Well, if he doesn't get it after that there's a few possibilities
1. It's too soon into the relationship for him
2. He's not the marrying type
3. He's the marrying type, he just doesn't want to marry you.
So nagging is better than waiting with baited breath forever or asking him. I told my boyfriend a month into our relationship "If you're not the type who wants to get married and have children SOMEDAY, then tell me because I don't want to waste my time and energy" Also, I don't think most of us are the type to goad someone into something they didn't want to do... sometimes guys just need some incentive to do something sooner rather than later.
anomar
09-23-2008, 07:53 PM
My boyfriend and i have talked about the future together a lot. About where we want our careers to go -- and how we plan on supporting each other's decisions -- taking a couple crazy road trips in the future -- and how we should plan to finance them -- etc. I think that if we continue to keep planning futures that include both of us, then the issue of marriage will be on the table.
Lysondra
09-29-2008, 04:22 AM
I have my own rule of thumb. If the man I'm romantically involved with and myself have not killed each other... even after living together for a min. of 6 months .... then I would be ;D;D open to being proposed to for marriage. Why? Because I feel six months living together is enough of a 'trial' period to see if this is the person I want to be with in a legally committed sense.
Ultimately, the man does the asking. I will gladly "float" the idea and discuss it.. and put it on the table as such... however in the end.. I want him to "officially" ask me ;)
Six months is totally not enough. Still honeymoon at 6 months.
Brendita
09-29-2008, 08:19 PM
deleted
Six months is totally not enough. Still honeymoon at 6 months.
I agree. 6 months is nothing... wait till you get to the 7- month itch. :D
Lysondra
10-01-2008, 05:18 PM
I'd say a year living together, probably a year and a half is when the shit starts breaking.
CKXXX
10-01-2008, 05:41 PM
Living together isnt always an indication though..I lived with my ex for years,both before and after we got engaged. Never married. HE would never commit to a date and I finally realized(thank GOD!) that I didnt want to marry him.
My husband and I were together over 2 years before our wedding and never lived together. Benn married over 8 years and going strong.
thread
10-01-2008, 06:07 PM
A woman might be Vice President
A woman tried to run for President
Lets get over the gender roles!!!
Ask him!!!
Molly123
07-22-2010, 11:45 PM
um... I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, but F-ing YES! if you think he's "the one".
Kellydancer
07-23-2010, 11:39 AM
I honestly don't know. If I knew he wanted to but was scared, I might. Otherwise not sure because guys can get weird about this. If you ask a guy and he doesn't want to marry (or marry you) it's awkward, whereas most of the time guys propose when they are sure a woman will say yes. Having said that, I'm not concerned about an engagement ring and would be happy with a small one (and maybe we could buy each other a ring).
Kisca
08-01-2010, 11:10 AM
I am old fashioned, so I would need the guy to ask me. No way I am buying you a ring and asking you!
But if it was ever serious and I knew this is the guy I want, I would bring up the topic, or give a little push if needed and from there it would be his choice. But ofc it shows if he doesnt ask when those things are done, he doesnt want to get married. And in my lifetime I want to have a wedding.
Kellydancer
08-01-2010, 11:54 AM
I am old fashioned, so I would need the guy to ask me. No way I am buying you a ring and asking you!
But if it was ever serious and I knew this is the guy I want, I would bring up the topic, or give a little push if needed and from there it would be his choice. But ofc it shows if he doesnt ask when those things are done, he doesnt want to get married. And in my lifetime I want to have a wedding.
I think it's important to bring it up, I'm just not sure when. I hope I marry the guy I love now, but he has issues and not sure if/when he'll be open to eventually marrying (he did strongly want to marry in the past). In the event that it doesn't work with him (I am giving him time but by next summer if we aren't engaged I am moving on) I'll bring up marriage early. Not so much to scare a guy, but to let him know what I am looking for and if he doesn't think he'll change, adios. Then again many men state they don't want marriage, then they meet someone they want to marry.
JessieBoo
08-01-2010, 12:08 PM
maybe but I really doubt it. Unless for some reason he thought I didn't wanna get married.
anouk.oui
08-28-2010, 11:21 AM
i dont want him to accept just because hes too embarassed /shocked/etc to turn me down. i once told mum why get married, you can just live together same thing and mum said the most important thing in initiating a marriage is that when a man asks to marry you he seriously believes he will want to stay with you for the rest of your lives and is ready to make the big step for that kind of commitment. even if he doesnt think so anymore, he once did, and the ring is an indication of that.
Melonie
08-28-2010, 05:31 PM
are you nuts ? after 2011 arrives, the 'marriage tax penalty' on two relatively high earning married partners will be at least $3000 per year higher than if they had remained unmarried !!!
bambiblue
08-28-2010, 05:40 PM
I could never ask a guy to marry me... I would want him to go out of his way to do something romantic and memorable, and no matter how in love with him I was, I think by asking him it would be too much pressure on a guy bcuz he might say yes just to not hurt my feelings even if he wasnt ready. Marriage is a HUGE thing, and for a guy to decide to himself that he's ready to settle down and be with you forever.... spend all that $$ on a ring and actually propose... well that would just mean more to me.
Elvia
08-28-2010, 05:46 PM
I wouldn't propose, but honestly, I wouldn't want a guy to propose to me either. I would prefer for the subject of marriage to just come up naturally at a certain point in a relationship.
chanzep
08-30-2010, 06:38 PM
I voted no, Im old fashioned.