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NewMoon
09-27-2008, 03:37 PM
^^^Yo Mamma

Bellona
09-27-2008, 03:43 PM
^^lol

CKXXX
09-27-2008, 03:54 PM
I think we can all think of someone we'd like to see banned! Hell...someone prob. wishes I'd be banned..lol!

MeanGirl
09-27-2008, 03:55 PM
can we perma ban my cramps please? k thnks

Pryce
09-27-2008, 03:56 PM
^^^Exactly. A lot of our respected members have left the site due to its neglect over the years as well as not feeling comfortable taking part in a site that willingly trades off the safety of the community for a paycheck.

A lot = 5-10?

True the site was neglected. That has been turned around for the past year and we are gaining enough momentum that within a few weeks we will be out of the red when it comes to attention and care.

False that community safety is willingly traded for a paycheck. That is just a tiny fragment of the lies and gossip that are passed on as truth by The Clique. I know it is easy for some to believe people trade their morals for money, but I do not live my life that way - otherwise I would have cashed out long ago. Also...doing so would require a paycheck...

The only true threat to this community as a whole is the same as it has always been, The Clique. I'm not talking about SW, I'm talking about a specific social network that makes up a portion of our community (20 or so people), regardless of where it congregates. It is that clique, the personalities that make it up, and how they function together that has always put the community under stress and spun it into drama. It will continue with that clique until they wake up and realize that their behavior is unhealthy to themselves.

I am doing my best to separate that clique from or at least make it unable to run its game at SW for the well being of the site, the members, and myself to be honest. You can see the backlash here from members of it - it's easy to identify them based on who or what they defend, the words they recycle, and the tone of their messages. I've personally seen how much backbiting actually takes place within it. The clique is vocal, runs on emotion, focuses on negativity, and encourages an us vs them mentality. The tool is more often than not lies or gossip. Those tools are used to control the rest of the group to either eject members or to gain approval of the group. I have never seen such a fights for power. Think about governments or kingdoms that were operated this way. While it works for a time - they always eventually fall apart by tearing themselves apart.

That's about as real as it gets Virgo. I trust time will prove me right on all counts.

doc-catfish
09-27-2008, 03:57 PM
can we perma ban my cramps please? k thnks

http://www.happi.com/articles/2006/03/images/ap-04.jpg

I don't know about cramps, but perspiration, perhaps. :thinking:

Pryce
09-27-2008, 04:12 PM
I should also add that I know not every member of said clique is malicious. Some just buy the hype or trust their friends word. However it is important to realize that their are people who will take advantage of your trust in their word. Also, you should be careful sharing unverified stories. It leaves you open to being used as a tool to spread lies.

I should also note. I'm not commenting on recent issues - these two posts are as true today as they where when SW was started.

xdamage
09-27-2008, 04:47 PM
,,,
The only true threat to this community as a whole is the same as it has always been, The Clique. I'm not talking about SW, I'm talking about a specific social network that makes up a portion of our community (20 or so people), regardless of where it congregates. It is that clique, the personalities that make it up, and how they function together that has always put the community under stress and spun it into drama. It will continue with that clique until they wake up and realize that their behavior is unhealthy to themselves.

I am doing my best to separate that clique from or at least make it unable to run its game at SW for the well being of the site, the members, and myself to be honest. You can see the backlash here from members of it - it's easy to identify them based on who or what they defend, the words they recycle, and the tone of their messages. I've personally seen how much backbiting actually takes place within it. The clique is vocal, runs on emotion, focuses on negativity, and encourages an us vs them mentality. The tool is more often than not lies or gossip. Those tools are used to control the rest of the group to either eject members or to gain approval of the group. I have never seen such a fights for power. Think about governments or kingdoms that were operated this way. While it works for a time - they always eventually fall apart by tearing themselves apart.


FWIW, and nothing specific, but sexists, racists, gangs, sometimes religious groups, and even cliques all thrive on the same basic human tendency. Weak people who only feel strong if they are part of a group that has a common enemy. Without a common enemy they feel utterly empty inside, no purpose, no drama, no sense of personal power.

Rhetoric, twisting others words, straw men, and other common twisted logic are used to keep the group together and draw in other weak minded people. It happens over and over in history because we people have a tendency for it. So I doubt it will go away because there are always new people to replace the old, but it can be discouraged.

As a total side point, two red flags for me:

The group is often wrong and feeds off misinformation. Popularity of belief does not equal proof/facts. Opinions are fine, but they are not the same as evidence and facts.

But also... when something is too good to be true, it probably is not true true.

There may be exceptions but both set off red flags for me. Since we cannot know everything, both are warning flags for me that make me stop and go "hmmm". Something is not right here. Be careful! Both flags are part of my strategy for being safe in life.

TarsTone
09-27-2008, 05:20 PM
I find it ironic that the person calling Katrine a "troll" is the same person who defended he who shan't be named right up to the very end! In fact, the only times she seemed to bother posting was when the dude was in trouble.::)

Budai
09-27-2008, 05:28 PM
^ Heh, TT... that Must Be Akward!

TarsTone
09-27-2008, 05:48 PM
^ You Might Be Accurate.;)

slims099
09-27-2008, 05:50 PM
I know someone I wish would get banned.

I've asked to be deleted several times... didn't work, sorry. My bi-polarness is kicking in... I like this place. 8)

stripperMBA
09-27-2008, 05:50 PM
FWIW, and nothing specific, but sexists, racists, gangs, sometimes religious groups, and even cliques all thrive on the same basic human tendency. Weak people who only feel strong if they are part of a group that has a common enemy. Without a common enemy they feel utterly empty inside, no purpose, no drama, no sense of personal power.

Rhetoric, twisting others words, straw men, and other common twisted logic are used to keep the group together and draw in other weak minded people. It happens over and over in history because we people have a tendency for it. So I doubt it will go away because there are always new people to replace the old, but it can be discouraged.

As a total side point, two red flags for me:

The group is often wrong and feeds off misinformation. Popularity of belief does not equal proof/facts. Opinions are fine, but they are not the same as evidence and facts.

But also... when something is too good to be true, it probably is not true true.

There may be exceptions but both set off red flags for me. Since we cannot know everything, both are warning flags for me that make me stop and go "hmmm". Something is not right here. Be careful! Both flags are part of my strategy for being safe in life.
Well said man. What you said applies to much of life not just stripperweb.

Budai
09-27-2008, 05:55 PM
^ stripperMBA:

xdamage's quote--coupled with your affirmation of it and the juxtaposition of your siggie--creates a delicious irony.

P.S. I prefer to do my thinking and sneering alone... ;)

Lena
09-27-2008, 06:12 PM
Pryce, that's fucking nuts, but if that's what you really believe maybe you should take a little bit to think about how things got that way. How did your trusted moderators and founding members turn into an evil clique of backstabbing bitches that plots against you on the internetz? Really, how? We all stood behind you for years, and if we are not now it is because of your behavior, not some sudden crazy inclination towards backstabbing cliques.

phillyvixen
09-27-2008, 06:14 PM
Anyone hear from krchab?
She popped into my head today and i realized i haven't seen her post in a while

virgoamm
09-27-2008, 06:20 PM
I dunno what happened to her. I remember she took over SOTW and then just flat out disappeared.

Pryce
09-27-2008, 09:39 PM
Pryce, that's fucking nuts, but if that's what you really believe maybe you should take a little bit to think about how things got that way. How did your trusted moderators and founding members turn into an evil clique of backstabbing bitches that plots against you on the internetz? Really, how? We all stood behind you for years, and if we are not now it is because of your behavior, not some sudden crazy inclination towards backstabbing cliques.

I understand how things got that way and when the group I'm referring to became so empowered. I would not use a blanket statement to say it encompasses all moderators and all founding members. That would not be fair to a large amount of good people I know. Do not try to spin it that way or try to draw that line in the sand for me (us vs them).

I've had my eyes on the group since the early days. However there were only little spikes I noticed. My first mistake was catering to it more often than not in those days. The problem was contained for the most part at that time and we went along happily.

The first BIG jump happened when I pulled away from SW during hard personal times. The loud and outspoken voices rose up to help keep order. The problem was the only tools the group had to keep order was public harassment of those it identified as being problematic. Small groups at first would coordinate the attacks and encourage those that participated. Soon "problematic posters" simply became those the clique didn't like. As time went on (about 1.5 years) the group grew larger, louder, and was more confident.

At the end of that period I added more moderators and gave them more tools to manage the site. However, I poorly backed the mods (you included at this time) and so larger problems that the mods could not handle were still attended to by the clique. When something blew up, I would step in and try to instate order. However, problems were cropping up more often than ever before. Trying to be nice to our long-term friends, giving them 5th and 6th chances, and trying to nudge them into a more positive direction had little effect. With that approach the mods and I could not control these blow outs.

About a year ago I stepped back into the site and became far more active. Over that past year a number of problems have come up between the clique and I over how the site should be ran as they still desire the mob justice. I don't see that as a stable base for any community. It is not what we were founded on and it is not sustainable. It is poisonous.

I ran a test about a year ago. I had a friend of mine join SW and try to become part of the community. She used to dance and I wanted to hear what SW looked like to fresh eyes. She came on, was friendly, and gave good advice over the course of a few weeks. No one would talk to her or acknowledge her. After a few weeks of posting a few newer members would interact with her. But she was still largely ignored by the cool kids even through she directly addressed them and offered them quality advice. She was also shocked by the level of drama and female aggression on exhibit.

I then ran the survey, in which many identified how hard newbies are treated here. One member pointed out she liked the coldness that is put out by the community because it keeps the problem posters out. That really put it all together for me. The clique's cold and negative outlook, because it was so vocal, had become SW's image and culture. To be accepted and interacted with you had to promote the coldness, act out against those labeled outsiders, and project the image of the group. It was and is part of our culture.

That is far off from where we started. The community was designed to be warm and supportive. I realize that is hard at our size, but if we are to return to that state, I must offer the community protection from problem posters, drama llamas, and other social disturbances. If the protection was provided, the community could return to focusing on support and build a positive outlook for itself.

That is what I have been building towards this past year. The mods, Tashia, and myself have been able to well manage the day-to-day issues. I've played a lot of catch up and have been building out our toolbox. Within a couple of weeks (check the Site News section about SW v4.0) significant changes are coming that should further allow the community to grow in a positive direction. We will continue tackling issues that have developed one at a time.

Since my return I should point out that members of the clique have nearly constantly (once a month or every two months) picked a battle with me - delaying progress. Social issues are spun as being an issue vs me - regardless of my actual stance on the issue. Key players have noticed I am no longer letting them seek their own justice and so they have turned their only weapon against me in their final bid for control, gossip. As they have done with many in the past, they have tried to demonize me to gain public support and sway opinion. It has been about 8 months of growing stories and rumor.

I know I have effectively asked the samurai to hand over their swords. I understand the old guard wants to hold on to their power. I know they want to maintain the status quo in their favor. However, the community cannot continue with the amount of negativity it has developed, it cannot run itself on mob rule, and it cannot maintain the level of drama and backbiting that has become common place.

I see this as a rebuilding of SW. Taking it back to its roots. I know there are those who won't have it that way. But I believe the future of SW is brighter without their influence.

TheSexKitten
09-27-2008, 09:59 PM
Erm, people not in "the clique" also act like bitches to newbs.

And this isn't about bitches being bitchy, it's about you neglecting the site, and you letting a member accused of raping another member stay unbanned because he lines your pocketbook while people like Cally get permabanned. Just sayin.

Pryce
09-27-2008, 10:14 PM
I know it is not just the clique that acts bitchy to the newbs. It is now a part of our culture. It is how acceptance is won. It is how you show you belong. That must be changed.

I'm directly addressing why people have been banned and why there is so much gossip about me and others.

There is no current neglect of the site. I have worked on it damn near daily for the past year getting ducks in order. You are just repeating things you've heard vocalized by people with an axe to grind and no experience in the matter.

Then you blindly regurgitate gossip you've heard from the clique as well. My pocketbook is lined? I've got a day job girl. No one covers my bills but my J O B. Secondly, what interest do I have in leaving the community open to a threat? I've already expressed how the community needs security. Without security the community would quickly fall apart. So then you are implying that I am being paid to watch SW fall apart. Why would I not just sell it instead? Think that over.

The issue you are talking about is bigger than SW. It is a LEGAL matter to be dealt with as such. I am acting on the advice of my lawyers and handling things as fairly as possible. I am not a judge and none of us here are. That is a matter for a higher power to investigate and resolve. If you haven't yet, you may want to read Dottie's post: http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=125663

Golden_Rule
09-28-2008, 09:35 AM
...wouldn't he have gotten a warning though?

Not necessarily.

In the time I have been around I have seen folks just "poof".

Sometimes it can be like a third world hunta around here. People just disappear in the middle of the night, never to be heard from again. No evidence they even existed except for people who noticed their lack of presence who ask, "Where did so and so go?"

To the powers that be... Please don't get pissed off at me for noticing and giving an honest answer to an honest question.


The "secret forum" here, which is obviously not so secret, is not a place to talk shit about dancers but more a place for older members to talk about their personal lives. That is all.

I am absolutely sure that is the case, but there is an old legal term that is the prevailing wisdom in such cases.

"The stench of impropriety is as damming as impropriety itself."

So it doesn't matter what it actually is or isn't. The fact that it exists and others know about it is enough to make it divisive and contentious.


I think we can all think of someone we'd like to see banned! Hell...someone prob. wishes I'd be banned..lol!

I can honestly say there is no one here I'd like to see banned.

Then again, I am a major free speech advocate and believe that in most cases words are only as harmful as the person hearing them allows them to be.


The first BIG jump happened when I pulled away from SW during hard personal times. The loud and outspoken voices rose up to help keep order. The problem was the only tools the group had to keep order was public harassment of those it identified as being problematic. Small groups at first would coordinate the attacks and encourage those that participated. Soon "problematic posters" simply became those the clique didn't like. As time went on (about 1.5 years) the group grew larger, louder, and was more confident.

To be totally fair it is the period of time you reference above where people I had gotten to know here disappeared and told me, via other channels obviously, it had occurred without notice to them.


About a year ago I stepped back into the site and became far more active. Over that past year a number of problems have come up between the clique and I over how the site should be ran as they still desire the mob justice. I don't see that as a stable base for any community. It is not what we were founded on and it is not sustainable. It is poisonous.

OK, that explains a lot. BTW, I agree totally. Mob justice is no way to run anything. The rule of law, with due diligence and the right to defend ones self against ones accusers, then the arbitrator of fact [hopefully a fair one] rules is the only way to go.

I wish you luck with your come back.

Bianca O'Blivion
09-28-2008, 02:14 PM
Sometimes it can be like a third world hunta around here. People just disappear in the middle of the night, never to be heard from again. No evidence they even existed except for people who noticed their lack of presence who ask, "Where did so and so go?"

I urge all to bring a huge grain of salt with them when they enter SW.

I feel there is still a lot of good to SW and the problems can be worked out.

NekkoStarz
09-28-2008, 02:42 PM
I don't understand how if people CHOOSE to be banned/delete their accounts, how they're allowed to come back?

Anyways, where'd loveandluxury go?? She has stopped posting like whoa.

Bellona
09-28-2008, 02:54 PM
Didnt she go on a cruise?^

UltraViolet
09-28-2008, 03:01 PM
L&L posted in this thread didn't she? She said something like her job was keeping her really busy.

EDIT: Yep:

Budai
09-28-2008, 03:15 PM
I'm still around every now and then, my big girl job is keeping me super busy and I've rediscovered my passion for online poker.

Online poker drama?

Not so much... ;D

blondi553
09-28-2008, 03:49 PM
lol "where did L&L go?" .... "it was the online poker maaannnnn!" haha

maximvsv
09-28-2008, 06:18 PM
So, what's the point of asking to be banned? Why not just stop signing in?

cutey5032
09-28-2008, 06:54 PM
I have a q about banning. How is "you know who" been permanently banned from here, yet can still read everything? Same with Callyish. Is it just good hacking abilities?

Lady Jade
09-28-2008, 07:20 PM
^^^ Proxies.

Susan-Va
09-28-2008, 07:47 PM
So, what's the point of asking to be banned? Why not just stop signing in?


If I'm not mistaken, if you're banned your all your posts are removed.

maximvsv
09-28-2008, 08:37 PM
I'm not so sure of that. They may not be name-searchable, but, for instance, I was just reading some old threads with posts by Cally in them.

It may be more time-consuming, but going back and editing or deleting old posts seems like the better idea.

It still seems odd, anyway.

Susan-Va
09-29-2008, 04:39 AM
I'm not so sure of that. They may not be name-searchable, but, for instance, I was just reading some old threads with posts by Cally in them.


I've seen some that you can still see their posts but I've know there are some that their posts are no longer here. And some members who have asked to be deleted did so so that their posts would no longer be here. I wonder if that's the difference between being banned and perma-banned.

Budai
09-29-2008, 05:09 AM
I wonder if that's the difference between being banned and perma-banned.
It may be like the difference between being "smart" and being "intelligent"...

ColetteCalahan
09-29-2008, 05:11 AM
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii49/Danish2/bannedbm6.gif

Budai
09-29-2008, 05:14 AM
^ I need adult diapers, CC!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Instant siggie dibs...

Lysondra
09-29-2008, 05:22 AM
You know, I'm almost convinced the drama on this site gives me panic attacks because of who's leaving..who's not leaving.. dramadramadrama... maaaan... *heaves*

When/how did Alexxa leave?

Miss_Luscious
09-29-2008, 05:53 AM
I love how people always think that a secret society is always about bashing the others. It's not about that.
The "secret forum" here, which is obviously not so secret, is not a place to talk shit about dancers but more a place for older members to talk about their personal lives. That is all.



I've been here a pretty long time and I haven't been invited. Why not?

lildreamer316
09-29-2008, 06:18 AM
I've been here a pretty long time and I haven't been invited. Why not?


Me either Miss Luscious. Don't sweat it. It's not that important to me.

Miss_Luscious
09-29-2008, 06:22 AM
Me either Miss Luscious. Don't sweat it. It's not that important to me.

Maybe our post counts are too low? I'm not really upset about not being invited, I'm just wondering why, if being an old member gets you in, I haven't been invited yet. and why do we need a secret invite only forum anyway?

Darcy Foxx
09-29-2008, 06:29 AM
from what i can gather it's less about join date or post count, more about who you were friends with when all this got started? i really don't know.

Lysondra
09-29-2008, 06:53 AM
lol, definitely not post count or age. I'm not a member either.

Miss_Luscious
09-29-2008, 07:03 AM
from what i can gather it's less about join date or post count, more about who you were friends with when all this got started? i really don't know.

I'm friends with everyone!!!!!!!! Let me in the stupid club!

Andygirl
09-29-2008, 07:41 AM
Lol, it's a really "elite" group so don't expect an invite.

TheLioness
09-29-2008, 07:43 AM
I don't see the point in banning/perma banning anyone. So they can't sign on from their IP address. There's always places to get online from a different pc, like the public library, etc. That's my opinion on how banned people can still read posts. And they probably don't post because they don't want to give away their "secret" IP address.

Miss_Luscious
09-29-2008, 08:07 AM
Lol, it's a really "elite" group so don't expect an invite.

:-[

Thanks for crushing my dreams Andygirl.

Who is the leader of this group? I'd like to have a word with them. I feel I am more than qualified to be accepted. I have been here for 5 years plus I have a personal life to talk about so I fit the qualifications that Lexi stated. Is it because I'm too luscious? Is it because I'm voting for Obama and it's a secret Republican club? Why why why???? :'(

Lexi
09-29-2008, 08:12 AM
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii49/Danish2/bannedbm6.gif



L.M.F.A.O.

Thank you!!! :rotfl:

Andygirl
09-29-2008, 08:13 AM
:-[

Thanks for crushing my dreams Andygirl.

Who is the leader of this group? I'd like to have a word with them. I feel I am more than qualified to be accepted. I have been here for 5 years plus I have a personal life to talk about so I fit the qualifications that Lexi stated. Is it because I'm too luscious? Is it because I'm voting for Obama and it's a secret Republican club? Why why why???? :'(

Sorry hon. I actually know, and have met, the majority of the people in their little club, but because ONE person told some lies about me, they wouldn't let me in. Who knows? Maybe they'll open up their little clique for new members, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Miss_Luscious
09-29-2008, 08:21 AM
Ok then, I'm starting m own secret club. Anyone can join. Who wants in?

kitana
09-29-2008, 09:26 AM
Maybe our post counts are too low? I'm not really upset about not being invited, I'm just wondering why, if being an old member gets you in, I haven't been invited yet. and why do we need a secret invite only forum anyway?

I haven't gotten an invite either, oh well.

Guess I'm not good enough either.