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forevernaked
10-29-2008, 08:04 PM
I've hit my head on the pole a few times. And of course I've fallen once or twice. New shoes are scary!

Speaking of which: one time I was wearing new shoes and the heels were really sharp, so when I accidentally kicked one foot with the other, I ripped a little chunk off the side of my big toe. That was pretty gross.

Once I was leaning over the stage to spank a female customer and my fishnet caught onto a sequin on her shirt. It was stuck in such a complicated way that I just took my shoes & fishnets off and danced COMPLETELY naked (at a nude club of course). It's weird how naked you feel without stilettos!

If I haven't danced in a while, I sometimes introduce myself using my real name instead of my stage name. They don't even notice.

Oh another time I was leaning over to put my breasts in a female customer's face, and she freaked out and moved backwards, so that I tumbled over the side of the stage.

Sometimes I lose my balance and fall during dances. Sober.

I've gotten my hair stuck in guys' shirt buttons when I'm sliding down them. I'm pretty good at getting it untangled quickly. Kinda ruins the mood though.

Ahh I remember my very first stripper blooper: The first day I ever stripped, I was SO nervous, SO intimidated by the other dancers. They called my name to go on stage and I ran out of the dressing room because I didn't want to be late. I wasn't paying attention and in doing so I slammed right into an open locker door. It was a very humbling experience.

Now that I'm reading this...wow I'm clumsy.

forevernaked
10-29-2008, 08:09 PM
Another time, my best friend and I went to work in another city. When we first got there we sat at the bar drinking beers trying to get rid of the new club jitters.
Well, she started farting due to being nervous, one went too far and she shit her g string sitting on the bar stool. To make matters worse she is wearing a transparent short dress! It was horrible and was even on the bar stool, so I 'm disgusted and laughing at her. Poor girl is mortified and I have to practically attach myself to her ass to block anyone from seeing her as we're walking back to the dressing room. Thank god they had a boutique. I always tell her when she's nervous or scared now not to get the shit scared out of her

Ok I admit it...once i sharted right before I was supposed to go on stage. Miraculously it only got on my g-string, so I went into the bathroom, threw out the panties, and got back up and gave a very "clenched" performance.

A friend of mine had to stop in the middle of her dance to run in the back and let her diarhea run free. Same friend another time got off stage, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had started her period and there was a line all the way down the inside of her leg, from crotch to ankle.

My theory is that the grosser stuff always happens in nude clubs.

Symmy
10-29-2008, 10:06 PM
i think our friends are trying to kill us.LOL!;D

Otoki
10-30-2008, 01:00 AM
after i checked myself for broken limbs my next thought was posting my latest humiliation.
walking to the vip dance area last night some reg. i think is kind of hot kind of tripped over the velvet rope right ahead of me. i snickered to myself thinking something really stupid like i'm so hot guys always get clumsy in front of me(i kno wtf?)sooo..i continue sashaying along with my custy in tow. upon reaching the dance area i take the first of two steps down into the dance area. my ankle wobbles,i attempt to right myself but instead go pitching headlong down the steps. i spread my arms like a cat in flight trying to grab something but alas, i am wearing satin gloves and only touch varnished wood. knees, elbows all hit the floor as my FACE goes fuck/clunk into the wooden piller directly in front of me. thankfully, i had the forethought to turn my face and so instead of breaking my nose or teeth i catch the side and just bruise my jaw.. and my obviously overinflated ego...:-[ :-[
really sad i had to do my dance anway and laugh it off but my lil karmic lesson really hit home. not so hot...
Damn. I hope that dance was worth a lot of money so it could assuage some of your embarrassment!

mediocrity
10-30-2008, 03:17 AM
Damn. I hope that dance was worth a lot of money so it could assuage some of your embarrassment!

Totally OT, but nice $3 word, Otoki!;D When are ya gonna come visit?;) We would have awesome Scrabble sessions!

piepie
10-30-2008, 05:03 AM
Damn. I hope that dance was worth a lot of money so it could assuage some of your embarrassment!

one very dirty martini $15,one lap dance from bruised stripper $60, falling on face prior to said lap dance pricelesss....

lizlizliz
10-31-2008, 12:26 PM
Another time, my best friend and I went to work in another city. When we first got there we sat at the bar drinking beers trying to get rid of the new club jitters.
Well, she started farting due to being nervous, one went too far and she shit her g string sitting on the bar stool.

i couldn't get past the farting due to being nervous. hilarious.



i've never heard of nervous farting.

Otoki
11-01-2008, 03:05 PM
Totally OT, but nice $3 word, Otoki!;D When are ya gonna come visit?;) We would have awesome Scrabble sessions!
I suck at scrabble. I never get the two-letter words.

Back to the bloopers:

Not that dramatic, but definitely annoying: I started dancing, tried to untie my dress, and ended up tying it tighter. I stopped after twenty something seconds of trying to discreetly undo the knot, told the guy we'd start next song, and finally got it untangled. This has happened at least ten times.

Kylea2
11-03-2008, 09:06 PM
Ran out of the ladies room w/tp on shoe.While spinning on pole gum flew out of mouth landed under fellow dancer (we both laughed).Tripped on stairs to main floor and totally pulled a "Foot Loose".While on pole ,that no one said was broken,pulled pole out of socket and continued to swing on now sideways pole till my ass hit the floor(on a Saturday night).I'm sure there's more I just can't remember.Someone once suggested that we should make a tape of bloopers .I think it should be followed by a customer blooper tape as well.

LOL I actually have a bloopers DVD! I was in a training video for dancers and the guy who filmed it put together a bloopers section! If I could get permission from all the girls I really should put it online... it's really funny!

Symmy
11-03-2008, 11:56 PM
That would be so awsome to see stripper bloopers!