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Lance_d_1
05-15-2009, 12:41 PM
When we went (my wife and I) it was her suggestion and we asked to be placed kinda outa of the way. We both had a great time. And yes we both went up to tip after a little encouragement/enticing from the dancers. It was not what either of us expected and I also got to see another side of my wife that I didn't know existed. Overall it was great and the dancers there made us both feel relaxed. We only saw one other couple in there and that women was also acting very respectable to the dancers. But I could see how it would be irritating to have someone come in and act any way but respectful.
That's the issue, most of these women are "forced" to go, or either they have something to prove and get so trashed that they interfere with our ( the house girls ) money making process.

Such as my lovely experience last night, where on stage I had to literally pry my head out of some drunk chicks grip as she was trying to lay a lip lock on me. Her friend just stood at the stage and wiggled after she tried to put her leg on my shoulder. All this happened while their male escort watched in indulgent amusement.

Fun.


If they don't want to be there, they should not.

charlie61
05-15-2009, 01:01 PM
It all kind of sucks, because I'd imagine that 90% of the women coming into the club wouldn't even understand why it's problematic for them to act a certain way. Unless you're in the business (and therefore understand that strippers are all there to make MONEY and you'd better not get in our way), then it appears to be just a bunch of scantily-clad women walking around having fun.

From the outside, they're just like "why can't I do the same thing since I'm paying to be here?" I totally get why they think they can crawl onstage and grope us. We're often so good at our jobs that we make it seem like it's one big party. The guidelines aren't explicit. I'm not saying it's right for them to do this, obviously: but I think it's understandable.

Still pisses me off though. :)

Lance_d_1
05-15-2009, 01:37 PM
What you are saying is that my wife shouldn't have been in the club even if she was tipping? I don't believe we were taking away from any of the dancers making any money. If anything I thought we were tipping very well. And like I said in my earlier post we were asked to be placed kinda out of the way. Am I understanding this wrong? The dancers did not make us feel like we shouldn't have been there. They were frequenting our table often.

It all kind of sucks, because I'd imagine that 90% of the women coming into the club wouldn't even understand why it's problematic for them to act a certain way. Unless you're in the business (and therefore understand that strippers are all there to make MONEY and you'd better not get in our way), then it appears to be just a bunch of scantily-clad women walking around having fun.

From the outside, they're just like "why can't I do the same thing since I'm paying to be here?" I totally get why they think they can crawl onstage and grope us. We're often so good at our jobs that we make it seem like it's one big party. The guidelines aren't explicit. I'm not saying it's right for them to do this, obviously: but I think it's understandable.

Still pisses me off though. :)

charlie61
05-15-2009, 04:14 PM
^ No, no! Not at all!

I was merely making the point that strip club etiquette isn't always intuitive for female customers. I wasn't reacting to anything you wrote at all--just a reaction to this thread in general. And an empathetic one at that.

Everyman
05-15-2009, 04:22 PM
^I only meant that I would only go to a male show if forced. .

This isn't just apples and oranges...it's more like apples and tweezers.

"Straight" women can enjoy other women at a much much much higher (like, more than half) than "straight" men can enjoy other men (like, almost zero). No correlation or comparison at all.

J.D.
05-15-2009, 04:29 PM
I was on stage tonight and had four women sitting at the tip rail. I did some pole tricks (the girls always seem to appreciate it more than the boys) and come crawling over, give them a big smile, and say hello.

-None- of them would answer me. In fact, one of them shot me this smug look...the others just sat and gave me this blank stare. Ouch. Do I have something on my face???

That has happened to me!!! They just look at you like you're from outer space, it's so freakin weird! The worst are the young ones that walk up to the stage with a filthy one dollar bill in their mouth. Come on, thats nasty!

charlie61
05-15-2009, 05:07 PM
This isn't just apples and oranges...it's more like apples and tweezers.

"Straight" women can enjoy other women at a much much much higher (like, more than half) than "straight" men can enjoy other men (like, almost zero). No correlation or comparison at all.


Though I'd argue that this has a lot to do with social pressures for men to be uber straight. (Obviously evolutionary/competitive pressures are at play in both sexes, too.) I know a lot of very straight men who will admit to appreciating other men once their guards are down.

Hopper
05-15-2009, 06:58 PM
This isn't just apples and oranges...it's more like apples and tweezers.

"Straight" women can enjoy other women at a much much much higher (like, more than half) than "straight" men can enjoy other men (like, almost zero). No correlation or comparison at all.

You are taking that sentence out of the context of my post. It's purpose was merely to say under what circumstances I would be at a male show at all. My comparison between my reaction to a male show and a woman's reaction to a female show was of course a loose one. Men and women don't think and feel identically. Women are more comfortable looking at and interacting physically with one another than men are. Fact remians that they won't enjoy or perceive a strip show put on for men the same way men do. Add to that the competitiveness between women when it comes to sex appeal.

Hopper
05-15-2009, 07:11 PM
Though I'd argue that this has a lot to do with social pressures for men to be uber straight. (Obviously evolutionary/competitive pressures are at play in both sexes, too.) I know a lot of very straight men who will admit to appreciating other men once their guards are down.

Appreciating another man's physique isn't the same as being turned on by it. Men admire other men for all kinds of things, but it's not sexual. I dont think women do either. It's just more acceptable for women to be physical with one another. Still not sexual. A woman will comment that another woman is beauctiful but the reason they do that and men don't is that women are judeged more on their appearance by both sexes than men are.

charlie61
05-15-2009, 07:17 PM
^ Yes. I was agreeing with you. Mere physical appreciation without desire.

Earl_the_Pearl
05-15-2009, 08:12 PM
^ Yes. I was agreeing with you. Mere physical appreciation without desire.

When I see man I wonder if I would prevail in a contest.

charlie61
05-15-2009, 08:27 PM
^ Many men do have thoughts like this. Partially evolutionary, partially as a social reaction. I believe that humans have the capacity to appreciate each other, however.

One might even argue that you wondering about who would win in a contest is a form of respect and appreciation for another man's body. In a 100% straight way. (Seriously)

Shrugs.

Hopper
05-15-2009, 08:31 PM
^ Yes. I was agreeing with you. Mere physical appreciation without desire.

Okay. Agreeing with what though? I responded before that because it sounded like you were saying men were only straight because of social pressure, though it was ambiguous.

I like having you as moderator Charlie61, you've got a rockin' avatar.

charlie61
05-15-2009, 08:35 PM
^ Oh, nonono. I was saying men could appreciate men's bodies without have any physical desire associated with it. i.e. men only ACT like they aren't appreciating other men because they fear their appreciation will be interpreted as interest.

charlie61
05-15-2009, 08:38 PM
It's pretty sad that it's okay for two completely straight women to practically fuck each other (like on stage in a SC), but 100% straight men can't even hug in public without getting looks from people. Obviously that's an exaggeration, but still...

Hopper
05-15-2009, 08:44 PM
^Not for us it isn't. Personally I don't like lesbian shows either.

charlie61
05-15-2009, 08:52 PM
^ It's obviously arguable. You see my point though, right?

Hopper
05-15-2009, 09:21 PM
^Not sure. It's okay for women to hug but not men? Women hug because they are mroe emotional in that way. Men sometimes do hug, like after football matches. Men hug in a manly way and women in a girly way. It's not actually okay for women to simulate sex in public, it's just taken a different way to if men do it because we know that women are not as easily physically, sexually stimulated. It will attract looks more easily than two men hugging will. It's also not actually socially acceptable behaviour, just not taken as being real sexual behaviour. So contact between women isn't as suspect. Men are turned on physically, so two guys simulating sex is going to look sus.

This topic only came up at all because Everyman misread one of my posts. But lets go with it - moderator!

charlie61
05-15-2009, 09:36 PM
^ I was more just pointing out the difference in social acceptability levels of female/female vs. male/male physical interactions. The former is definitely more lenient as far as judgment goes...whereas the implicit 'rules' of male homosociality are much more rigid (generally).

/end threadjack. :)

lopaw
05-15-2009, 09:37 PM
...... because we know that women are not as easily physically, sexually stimulated......

WAY too stereotyping of an entire gender. :no:

charlie61
05-15-2009, 09:40 PM
^ Agreed. See: Masters-Johnson studies. (equality of sexual experience, with further emphasis on women's unique abilities to have multiple orgasms, come without touching themselves, etc.)

Hopper
05-15-2009, 09:47 PM
WAY too stereotyping of an entire gender. :no:

I said "not as easily", not "not at all". Maybe not generally true, but true for most.

Hopper
05-15-2009, 09:51 PM
^ Agreed. See: Masters-Johnson studies. (equality of sexual experience, with further emphasis on women's unique abilities to have multiple orgasms, come without touching themselves, etc.)

A woman having her clitoris rubbed is not the same thing as a guy looking at or touching a woman. I'd also say that the woman would often have to be having sexually stimulating thoughts along with the physical stimulation.

lopaw
05-15-2009, 09:59 PM
^^^^ And your philosophy is based on.....what exactly? Studies? Your own experiences? It certainly does not represent the majority of women I know. Or are we lesbians supposedly wired differently from straight women?

Deep thoughts......;D

Hopper
05-15-2009, 10:10 PM
^^^^ And your philosophy is based on.....what exactly? Studies? Your own experiences? It certainly does not represent the majority of women I know. Or are we lesbians supposedly wired differently from straight women?

Deep thoughts......;D

I haven't conducted studies of my own, it's just what I've heard. I'm not a woman, so I can't know from direct experience and I don't swap stories with other women. But since Charlie61 referenced Masters and Johnson, I thought I was entitled.

What are you saying exactly? Remeber that men are very easily turned on. I was just making a comparison. I don't see what lesbians have to do with it, since I was not implying that men or women get turned on by each other.

lopaw
05-15-2009, 10:32 PM
I haven't conducted studies of my own studies, it's just what I've heard. I'm not a woman, so I can't know from direct experience and I don't swap stories with other women. But since Charlie61 referenced Masters and Johnson, I thought I was entitled.

What are you saying exactly? Remeber that men are very easily turned on. I was just making a comparison. I don't see what lesbians have to do with it, since I was not implying that men or women get turned on by each other.


What I am saying is that EVERYONE is different and individual - there are many women that get easily stimulated by only physical means, and plenty of men that don't. There are lots of very highly sexually charged women, and just as many men with low sex drives. I hate gender based generalizations, especially about certain aspects of sexuality because there are just too many exceptions, variables and gray areas. You can't fit everyone into a nice little pre-conceived package based on their gender. Too many bad clinical studies and "old wives tales" just perpetuate these misnomers.

Comprende?

vmurphy252
05-15-2009, 10:32 PM
^Have to agree. My wife is as visual or more so than I am. I don't see any hard (pardon the pun) and fast (pardon the further potential pun; it happens to every guy (except me)) rules about how people are aroused.

minnow
05-15-2009, 10:52 PM
It all kind of sucks, because I'd imagine that 90% of the women coming into the club wouldn't even understand why it's problematic for them to act a certain way. Unless you're in the business (and therefore understand that strippers are all there to make MONEY and you'd better not get in our way), then it appears to be just a bunch of scantily-clad women walking around having fun.

From the outside, they're just like "why can't I do the same thing since I'm paying to be here?" I totally get why they think they can crawl onstage and grope us. We're often so good at our jobs that we make it seem like it's one big party. The guidelines aren't explicit. I'm not saying it's right for them to do this, obviously: but I think it's understandable.

Still pisses me off though. :)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

While I don't lay any claim to being a facile mind reader, it has been my distinct observation that dancer interaction with female customers (and vice versa) is more liberal than dancer interaction with male customers in any given club. (NOTE)... I'm referring to stageside interaction. This seems to be a given constant whether female customer is lesbian, with male SO, or part of a coed "straight " group there for a night of partying.

Hopper
05-16-2009, 12:25 AM
What I am saying is that EVERYONE is different and individual - there are many women that get easily stimulated by only physical means, and plenty of men that don't. There are lots of very highly sexually charged women, and just as many men with low sex drives. I hate gender based generalizations, especially about certain aspects of sexuality because there are just too many exceptions, variables and gray areas. You can't fit everyone into a nice little pre-conceived package based on their gender. Too many bad clinical studies and "old wives tales" just perpetuate these misnomers.

Comprende?

And we'll have coffee coloured people by the scooore... Okay, I get it. Low sex drive isn't normal or healthy for men or women and being stimulated easily only by physical means isn't normal for a woman or a man. I was talking about what is socially accepted, not trying to account for all cases. I wasn't saying that women are all lowly charged or men all highly charged - I was talking about the means by which they get turned on. Women and men are generally very biologically and psychologically different, and there are definintely good clinical studies to show that.

charlie61
05-16-2009, 08:11 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

While I don't lay any claim to being a facile mind reader, it has been my distinct observation that dancer interaction with female customers (and vice versa) is more liberal than dancer interaction with male customers in any given club. (NOTE)... I'm referring to stageside interaction. This seems to be a given constant whether female customer is lesbian, with male SO, or part of a coed "straight " group there for a night of partying.

Exactly, yes. Which makes it even harder for female customers to discern what's okay and what's not okay. I have empathy for them. Still sucks when they do cross that line, though...

Hopper
05-16-2009, 08:59 AM
How many SCs are there for men compared to the number of SCs for women? How often do women go to them?

Reverse the roles for male and female in lapdances and I bet the male dancer is often more turned on (i.e. turned on at all) than the female dancers are now, from the touching and close contact with the female patron.

That should tell you what normal is. Forget where you are?

Everyman
05-16-2009, 09:00 AM
Though I'd argue that this has a lot to do with social pressures for men to be uber straight. (Obviously evolutionary/competitive pressures are at play in both sexes, too.) I know a lot of very straight men who will admit to appreciating other men once their guards are down.

Even in my most secret middle-of-the-night-looking-up-internet-porn moments I don't google men...I don't even like sex or men in my porn, just naked women only.

However, I have admitted I would turn gay for George Clooney, if given the chance. I have a man-crush.

Everyman
05-16-2009, 09:04 AM
How many SCs are there for men compared to the number of SCs for women? How often do women go to them?

Reverse the roles for male and female in lapdances and I bet the male dancer is often more turned on (i.e. turned on at all) than the female dancers are now.

I dunno...I don't think many young male dancers are going to be turned on by gyrating on fat unattractive 50-year-old women.

charlie61
05-16-2009, 09:04 AM
^ I don't mean for porn. I'm just talking about simple physical appreciation. Without any desire attached.

Hopper
05-16-2009, 09:08 AM
I dunno...I don't think many young male dancers are going to be turned on by gyrating on fat unattractive 50-year-old women.

Are all male patrons of SCs fat, unattractive and 50?

Everyman
05-16-2009, 09:13 AM
Are all male patrons of SCs fat, unattractive and 50?

All? No. But + or - 15 years and varying levels of weight and attractiveness (none of which are "hot"), the majority are in my observation.

Hopper
05-16-2009, 09:18 AM
^If I were lapdancing for women they would not have to be very young or hot for me to be involuntarily turned on by touching and being touched by them and being close to them. I see plenty of decent-looking and very young male patrons at SCs. Yet all we hear at this forum is about how the dancers are not turned on when lapdancing.

Earl_the_Pearl
05-16-2009, 12:32 PM
Reverse the roles for male and female in lapdances and I bet the male dancer is often more turned on (i.e. turned on at all) than the female dancers are now, from the touching and close contact with the female patron.


I have been to male strip clubs for women. First male customers are not permitted. The women usually have to buy tickets and it is like one big bachelorett party. Women are dirtier then any PL when they get a few drinks in them and no men are watching.

Most male dancers are gay they do get erections but it is only business.

charlie61
05-16-2009, 03:26 PM
^ Just wondering...where did you get that generalization?

lopaw
05-16-2009, 04:16 PM
Are all male patrons of SCs fat, unattractive and 50?


Generally speaking during the dayshift, from what I see on a regular basis...........yes.
But closer to 70 than 50.

In general, the unattractive patrons in a SC by far outnumber the good looking ones. Sad but true. Add to that element the many times that a female dancer has to deal with a groping, smelly, overweight, unattractive or rude patron and it wouldn't take long to see why said dancers would eventually find NO ONE attractive in a club. It wears on you. This scenario would apply to a male dancer just as well.

Earl_the_Pearl
05-16-2009, 04:17 PM
^ Just wondering...where did you get that generalization?

Eye witness to women's actions at male strip clubs and The Hunter Village Inn Happy Hour in my youth. I wasn't always a broken PL. :P

lopaw
05-16-2009, 04:31 PM
Exactly, yes. Which makes it even harder for female customers to discern what's okay and what's not okay. I have empathy for them. Still sucks when they do cross that line, though...

I think that you're being way too nice, giving some female custies too much wiggle room for their bad behavior. The first time I ever entered a SC I hung back and observed the behaviors of those around me, and never once thought that the rules didn't apply to me because I was female. The very first thing I learned was to let the dancer take the lead, and let her establish her comfort zone with me. Seemed like a "no duh" kind of thing. It's just showing respect.

These dopey girl custies know exactly what they are doing - they just don't seem to care as long it gets them the attention that they so desperately seem to seek.

Crow2
05-16-2009, 05:12 PM
I think that you're being way too nice, giving some female custies too much wiggle room for their bad behavior. The first time I ever entered a SC I hung back and observed the behaviors of those around me, and never once thought that the rules didn't apply to me because I was female. The very first thing I learned was to let the dancer take the lead, and let her establish her comfort zone with me. Seemed like a "no duh" kind of thing. It's just showing respect.

These dopey girl custies know exactly what they are doing - they just don't seem to care as long it gets them the attention that they so desperately seem to seek.


Thank you so much for being a "good" woman/female customer. I adore entertaining couples and women that WANT to have fun.. the other kind usually get a groan of despair and a big eye roll.

Like, Honey, leave that for the professionals.. Mkay?

Hopper
05-16-2009, 05:22 PM
Agree with lopaw, Charlie61 - you are being too nice even for a Devil's advocate. If it's hard for them to work out for themselves, they can copy what the men (or hopefully most of them) are doing.

I've been told that women at clubs with male strippers go wild at the stage and are even encouraged to grope and push and pull (seen pictures of that on net). You might say that women who have been to those think it's also okay with female strippers. But they shouldn't even have to stop and think that she's a female stripper, not male, so she won't take the rougher handling, even from another woman.

Women like that must know they are being pests.

charlie61
05-16-2009, 05:44 PM
Eye witness to women's actions at male strip clubs and The Hunter Village Inn Happy Hour in my youth. I wasn't always a broken PL. :P

No...I mean where'd you get the generalizaton that male strippers are mostly gay?

charlie61
05-16-2009, 05:47 PM
I think that you're being way too nice, giving some female custies too much wiggle room for their bad behavior. The first time I ever entered a SC I hung back and observed the behaviors of those around me, and never once thought that the rules didn't apply to me because I was female. The very first thing I learned was to let the dancer take the lead, and let her establish her comfort zone with me. Seemed like a "no duh" kind of thing. It's just showing respect.

These dopey girl custies know exactly what they are doing - they just don't seem to care as long it gets them the attention that they so desperately seem to seek.

I definitely see what you're saying, but I'm not just playing Devil's Advocate. Before I started dancing, (granted, I was only eighteen yrs old), I was so street-retarded that I honestly don't think I would've known better than to do some of the shit I see female custies do (if I weren't so shy/reserved and actually partied/drank, that is). Within reason, of course.

Earl_the_Pearl
05-16-2009, 08:42 PM
No...I mean where'd you get the generalizaton that male strippers are mostly gay?

Abs = gay. ::)

Hopper
05-16-2009, 08:52 PM
Generally speaking during the dayshift, from what I see on a regular basis...........yes.
But closer to 70 than 50.

In general, the unattractive patrons in a SC by far outnumber the good looking ones. Sad but true. Add to that element the many times that a female dancer has to deal with a groping, smelly, overweight, unattractive or rude patron and it wouldn't take long to see why said dancers would eventually find NO ONE attractive in a club. It wears on you. This scenario would apply to a male dancer just as well.

Makes sense - for female dancers. I can't say this from direct experience, but if I were a male lapdancer for women, I would welcome the groping from the nice-looking to average patrons. Probably just tolerate it from the repulsive ones, but I don't see why it would wear me down. I would also like having my genitals touched (again by the average to nice patrons) in lapdances and conspire with them in concealing it. Rude women can be a turn off even if they are hot, but as a lapdancer I would still be physically turned on by them. For men it is just involuntary, though mitigated by negative emotions. A hot, bitchy or pushy woman is still hot - sometimes hotter for it. I don't see why dealing with the repulsive women would put me off of the nice ones.

However the other factor at work here, aside from what turns men and women on, is psychological differences between men and women. But that is partly to do with what turns us on.

onelunafae
06-05-2009, 07:36 AM
I joined this board to see what dancers thought of women that go to clubs. My best friend and I have been going to the clubs off and on for a few years now and it's always been in the back of my mind. We are both bi (but not with eachother). I think because I'm respectful and always try not to draw attention to myself from the dancers it's always been a good experience for me.

In my experiences I've always had a great time with the women I've encountered. There are a few though that will walk off stage and not even look my way sometimes. Maybe they're not into women? Who knows..not a biggie.

I think it's great entertainment and I am in awe of the women that dance in clubs. The confidence and 'balls' it takes to get up on stage and even moreso give lap dances impresses me. I have the utmost respect for women who are so empowered.

I just met two new dancers the other night. Both very beautiful..like art. I'm trying to not sound corny here but I don't know any other way to discribe how I see women sometimes. They were like beautiful art from head to toe. The one dancer sat and talked with me off and on the entire night and when she danced I tipped her (I try to tip all the dancers at least once).

When I was getting ready to leave I was standing there talking to my friend by the booth and she came over and started dancing with me. We danced for about 3 minutes or so it was very hot. Never did she ask me if I wanted a lap dance or anything. So I asked her. Mind you, I've been going to the clubs for a while now but have always been too shy or whatever for a lap dance. The dance she gave me was incredible. I loved it! Probably because we connected on a certain level first. It was so much fun and I was so horny afterwards..lol.

Anyhow, I didn't even know how much it would cost so I gave her $20. She told me it was only $10 but I gave her the whole $20 anyhow. How could I discount my first most awesome lap dance? She deserved it and I hope she bought herself something special with it.

I've seen those women though that have been mentioned in this thread. And it bugs me to no end. Why come to a place that entertains people if you don't feel like being entertained? Or the women who have to get so drunk just to walk in the door they act like senseless idiots once inside? I kinda end up feeling sorry for these kind of women customers..they don't know what they are missing.

Britney_B
06-06-2009, 07:07 AM
I don't like when women come to the club, women seem to critique you. And women, tend to be extremely critical. Like oh look how skinny she is she must be anorexic or I know those are bolt ons etc etc.It's just a hassle that I don't want to deal with.