View Full Version : My boyfriend doesn't want to fuck me anymore!!
charlie61
03-25-2009, 09:21 PM
^^ Surprisingly, it's even more depressing when you have a partner who does want to please you, and it still doesn't feel good.
So far, my reports on sex: (started having it on 1/1 of this year)
-Oral is painful, or feels merely good at best (hardly orgasmic). At worst it feels like a doctor examination (where you're being touched, but you don't really feel anything). I always feel weird during oral: it reminds me of how male dogs will lick female dogs' genitalia when they're interested in them. Like a weird preparation ritual for sex. (sorry if that sounds crazy--I have three big dogs, so I see it all of the time...)
-Sex is...meh. I crave sex like I crave getting scratched on the back. I get a sensation of fullness from it, but again, hardly orgasmic. I have come twice during sex--but they were total flukes. They just happened, without any precursor or lead-up. And they were lame. Like dull pulses. When I get myself off, I come HARD...and as many times as I want to...and my kitty isn't sore afterwards (as with sex).
I'm totally jaded about sex. Which fucking blows b/c my partner is so into it. When he comes, it's like the fucking world is ending, like he's in heaven--not even kidding, it takes him a couple of minutes to regain consciousness. And I'm just laying there like...yay?
charlie61
03-25-2009, 09:22 PM
I also hate how sex is dictated by the male orgasm. It's over when he comes, and sex is all about the lead-up to his orgasm. Fucking lame. Makes me lay there going "Okay...when is he going to decide it's time to finish the session?" :checks watch:
aviendha
03-25-2009, 09:30 PM
Yeah, exactly. If sex felt like amazing awesomeness the whole time, of course I'd be into it. As it is, sex feels like a gynecology exam, that ends in a chafed crotch and a set of sheets that need to be washed. Why am I supposed to want to do that every day?
bluelight
03-25-2009, 09:51 PM
I recommend this book to all: The Elusive Orgasm by Vivienne Cass
http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/14680000/14682584.JPG
charlie61
03-25-2009, 09:51 PM
^^ Exactly!! (to aviendha) I feel like I shouldn't be this jaded so early on in my 'sex life'....but I'm one of those people who quits things as soon as they stop being enjoyable. I'm trying to convince myself to keep a positive attitude...but it's really difficult. It's good to know that someone else out there feels the same way...
(end threadjack)
rotarygirl9
03-27-2009, 10:37 AM
I think that when we are younger and the guy doesn't really know how make us come we start to assume its us. So then when we are doing it we keep telling ourselves that its not going to happen so in turn it doesn't. It took me 8 years before i finally came during sex and about 5 to come during oral. Like most other women i faked it, which made me mad cause i wasn't getting it just so my boyfriend would feel good. My trick was get on top and lay forward enough that when you move your rubbing your clit against him. that way your getting the stimulation you need and your not touching yourself :) Everyone wins
charlie61
03-27-2009, 02:53 PM
^ That's really good to hear. I refuse to fake orgasms (if I don't come, then I don't come: that's that!), but I have definitely felt the desire to do so before.
Ms. Mia Roberts
03-27-2009, 04:06 PM
i haven't faked one yet.... but i get pleasure out of watching him get pleasure... and most times, that leaves me satisfied :)
charlie61
03-28-2009, 03:55 PM
^ Yes. So far, this is the upside for sure.
Jeanette
04-02-2009, 09:14 PM
Have you guys ever tried any sex games? I just got one called Climaxxx and the goal is to tease your partner and try to make them cum in a certain amount of time(there's a timer). There are different cards that detail what you are supposed to do to each other, and a board with squares that even include having a drink. I haven't played it with my partner yet, but we're both looking forward to it. Games like this, which can be bought at sex stores, seem like great ways to experiment and learn each others bodies and what works for both of you sexually. If your partner cares about you they should want to learn how to turn you on, and help you achieve orgasms.
Some guys just don't have a clue and faking it and making them think they're good when they're not is not helping anyone. Hopefully they'll feel compelled to learn, and faking it won't encourage them.
As far as coming from sex, clitoral stimulation while I'm really turned on and wet is key for me during intercourse. Missionary or riding on top work, but you have to be in the right frame of mind. I need to feel comfortable and know that my partner is really into me. Feeling pressured or rushed or not cared for are not good. If your partner is on top, grab his hips and thrust his pelvis against your clitoris, keeping constant contact and moving so you are rubbing against him. If you're on top, try rubbing your clit on his erect penis before sex. That should turn you both on and when you're aroused enough, have him enter, but focus on clitoral stimulation. He does not need to be moving for this either, and it's sometimes better if he's not, because it allows you to feel comfortable, and to take your time and figure out what feels good for you. I love to tell my boyfriend not to move when I'm on top because I know he's turned on and wants to move, which turns me on even more.
For those that can't achieve orgasm with their boyfriends do you have good chemistry with them? Can you get turned on by having a makeout session with your bf? In the past I've looked at the clock during sex when I just wasn't that into the guy I was with, or he was lame and not attempting/ enjoying the process of turning me on.
Some of you sound like you're having really bad sex. I wouldn't want to do it either if it was that bad. I agree with the person who said chemistry is important. Not feeling judged and having an eager partner are important too. Gotta figure out what works for you and do it.
charlie61
04-03-2009, 10:50 AM
^ Kind of a weird question--but I don't grind like that because his pubic hair sticks into my clit if I grind hard... how do you deal with that? I'd think that even if he shaved, the stubble would still be irritating.
Jeanette
04-03-2009, 02:29 PM
Hmmm, I've never had that problem. Most guys I've been with trim, usually with an electric trimmer. Maybe you could lube him/you up with a silicone based lubricant that might protect things or make things less likely to get stuck/scratchy? Or you could ask him to trim a bit.
Have you ever used a toy for clitoral stimulation while you're having intercourse? Maybe that would be good?
charlie61
04-03-2009, 03:21 PM
^ Thanks for the suggestion!
chitownchick
04-03-2009, 08:48 PM
I had been withplenty of men and im 25 and didnt have an orgaasm till i was 23. I never had a really good orgasm till my current relationship. Alot of it was my mental state, as I was sexually abused as a child so it was hard for me to relax with someone in bed. But I have heard from almost every woman that they have to be really mentally focused to come and that it is more mental then physical. I beleive that because I am very mentally focused every time i come. I also would not recomment faking it, my boyfriend can tell if i do, but I just feel like i should be 100% open with him and if i cant get off, I can tell him so and hope that he wont feel offended by it. just make it clear that sometimes you cant get off if you arent in the right place (whereever that may be for you , mental or physical).