View Full Version : How do YOU show you want HER?
Hopper
05-07-2009, 12:50 AM
Believe me you are just another PL in the crowd, another brick in the wall, nobody, except you, cares.
I once felt like you but got over it; now it is easy to sit with a dancer's snatch a foot away from my nose. :magnify:
Fact remains there are probably others like me and you won't be there to tell them next time Charlie61's on stage that it's okay for them to tip her. Thought she'd like to know.
I have my reasons.
charlie61
05-07-2009, 01:42 AM
^ Definitely a good point. It's counterintuitive to think that a customer might not be coming up to my stage out of shyness--I think it's important to be aware of this possibility.
And anyway, Hopper is somewhat justified in his paranoia. As a dancer, I can assure y'all that I'm a fucking hawk in the club. The customers are all being watched to some degree (especially by the dancers). And club regulars definitely do notice other customers. So I can understand being a bit shy.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-07-2009, 01:27 PM
The customers are all being watched to some degree (especially by the dancers). And club regulars definitely do notice other customers. So I can understand being a bit shy.
It is the money not the customer that is being watched both by dancers and regulars.
charlie61
05-07-2009, 01:54 PM
^ Disagree. I watch customers. Any good salesperson does.
Bob_Loblaw
05-07-2009, 10:52 PM
It is the money not the customer that is being watched both by dancers and regulars.
To be honest, I do a fair bit of people watching at the clubs. It's all part of the entertainment for me.
charlie61
05-08-2009, 10:24 AM
^ Strip clubs are one big mind fuck. It'd be a waste of a sociological experiment to ignore other customers. So I'm right there with ya.
vmurphy252
05-08-2009, 10:33 AM
^Gotta say that unless I'm specifically, uh, engaged with a particular lady, I am watching EVERYTHING. The whole environment and associated behaviors are extremely interesting to me.
vmurphy252
05-08-2009, 10:38 AM
This is a great suggestion. I actually do something similar when I'm feeling a bit shy, or when I don't think the customer feels like getting dances. I'll say "So, what do you usually like to do when you come to strip clubs?" This gives them an opportunity to either make it clear that they want a dance, or pretend that they don't ever get lap dances (this way, if they don't like me in particular, it isn't a personal turn-down).
I like this idea in general, but I remember one time in particular where they asked more directly if I wanted a dance. I really thought I was done for the night, so I told her that. She waited the polite time before going on to the next guy. Another girl came up and did the same thing, but she ended up sitting for a while, and I decided I did want her to dance and we went to the VIP. Every time this girl had to do her stage, the first dancer was giving us both very dirty looks... Anyway, not everyone deals with rejection well I guess...
Earl_the_Pearl
05-08-2009, 01:49 PM
^ Disagree. I watch customers. Any good salesperson does.
Customers = money.
charlie61
05-08-2009, 02:39 PM
^ True, but I also watch out of personal interest.
Hopper
05-08-2009, 07:51 PM
Customers = money.
Originally you said "customers and not the money" and that both dancers and customers are watching the money.
It doesn't matter to me why people notice me, only whether or not they do.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-08-2009, 08:07 PM
Originally you said "customers and not the money" and that both dancers and customers are watching the money.
It doesn't matter to me why people notice me - only whether I'm noticed.
Customers= money to the dancers and I watch customers to see how much they get for what they spend not the customer themselves.
Hopper
05-08-2009, 08:48 PM
I like this idea in general, but I remember one time in particular where they asked more directly if I wanted a dance. I really thought I was done for the night, so I told her that. She waited the polite time before going on to the next guy. Another girl came up and did the same thing, but she ended up sitting for a while, and I decided I did want her to dance and we went to the VIP. Every time this girl had to do her stage, the first dancer was giving us both very dirty looks... Anyway, not everyone deals with rejection well I guess...
Silly of her. They know as well as anyone that hustling is aimed at changing a patrons mind (the first girl just failed) and also that different guys have different tastes. People change their minds without someone else persuading them.
Hopper
05-08-2009, 08:54 PM
Customers= money to the dancers and I watch customers to see how much they get for what they spend not the customer themselves.
So you would notice me by the stage, or just notice how much I get for what I pay, like when a person's face is blurred or pixelated in a video to hide his identity?
Hopper
05-08-2009, 09:12 PM
Back to the OP -
In the past I tended avert my gaze (as politely as I could) when a dancer I wasn't interested in having an LD with approached me, so as not to inadvertently give her the idea that I was interested. I would still probably like chatting with her, unless that might mean missing out on a girl I do like sittimg with me, but I don't want to waste her time or want her to ask me just to be turned down.
Later occurred to me that there is no polite way to avert one's gaze from a girl who is there to be noticed and dressed for it. She really sees it as turning her down, except worse, since I appear to not even want to speak to her. Now I look at them as they approach me, which is the civil thing to do to anybody OTC who approaches me.
I realise that the girls probably have little regard for me beyond a being a source of income, but I see no need to be mean. At the least, I don't want to give them an excuse.
Hopper
05-08-2009, 09:26 PM
OP again -
Despite myself, I still do tend to prefer it if a girl approaches me instead of me approaching her. If I go and grab her off the floor, she say's "okay" and takes me straight to the private room. (Although I might say hi and make intros and complement her on her stage show and her appearance and all that.) So it's like starting off cold, even though there is time for chat during the LD. I know it is really all impersonal, it interests me to see the way they approach me and how they sell themselves or coax me.
Also, the girl might value my custom a bit more if she has to ask and give me a better LD. She might tend to think "I'll get this keen guy out of the way and then go back to work on the tough cases". Though she'd be wise to consider whether I'd want another LD with her after a limp one.
So I'll sometimes tend to hang back and wait a little before approaching her.
But I don't go to SCs for company. There are regular clubs not far away for that and I know girls OTC. But when I was new to SCs I was interested in chatting with the dancers to get more familiar with the scene and their place in it. I saw them hanging with other patrons and felt I should get the same treatment. However, I mostly wanted the girls I liked to hang with me, and the dancers of course would not be able to tell which of them I liked.
charlie61
05-09-2009, 08:57 AM
OP again -
Despite myself, I still do tend to prefer it if a girl approaches me instead of me approaching her. If I go and grab her off the floor, she say's "okay" and takes me straight to the private room. (Although I might say hi and make intros and complement her on her stage show and her appearance and all that.) So it's like starting off cold, even though there is time for chat during the LD. I know it is really all impersonal, it interests me to see the way they approach me and how they sell themselves or coax me.
Also, the girl might value my custom a bit more if she has to ask and give me a better LD. She might tend to think "I'll get this keen guy out of the way and then go back to work on the tough cases". Though she'd be wise to consider whether I'd want another LD with her after a limp one.
So I'll sometimes tend to hang back and wait a little before approaching her.
Huh. Very interesting! Makes perfect sense. :)
Hopper
05-13-2009, 04:25 AM
^I thought of a way in which both dancers and interested patrons can win. I approach the dancer, but I don't ask her for an LD. I wait for her to ask. This still won't help you though, unless you can get this idea to patrons at your club without them susepcting that it came from you.
However, once when I approached a dancer, the first thing she said was "Oh, do you want a lapdance?" Maybe others have tried this before me and the dancers are on to it. Difference perhaps being that others were only interested in chatting and not LDs. (Actually I had already booked this dancer while she was on stage and the hostess was off somewhere else looking for her when she passed me. That was the only reason I approached her in this case.)
moscm
05-29-2009, 08:10 PM
Let's see.
I try to make eye contact a bunch of times. This works pretty well. Sometimes they completely don't get it though. Like she will walk by and I will smile and make eye contact, and she'll just smile back and keep going.
These days though, I am way more direct. I'll just go up to her when she is on the stage and ask her to come over to me when she is done. Or if I see her sitting or standing without a customer, I'll just walk over.
Idmonstre
05-30-2009, 03:20 AM
Hmm. weird. the rejection never bothers me. i am too full of myself. the thing that does bother me is if i am sitting with the guy and talking for a few min and then ask and he says no and keeps talking and now i have to figure out how to politely leave without being like "oh, you don't want to spend money on me. ok then fine bye!" on him. Because of this horrid awkwardness i have now turned into the "wanna dance" girl. ugh. And i kept trying to read body language but half the time the ones who seem interested just want to sit and talk and buy me a drink and not get a dance. And sometimes the bored looking ones are just waiting for a hot dancer to come and ask them for a dance (ie, me) so i gave up!
Hopper
05-30-2009, 03:51 AM
^It's not impolite for you to move on after chatting a few minutes and asking about an LD, since that is the business you are in. He can't expect you to keep him company the whole time he's there. Nor is it impolite for you to just ask about an LD straight away and then leave if he says no. The only consideration is what works.
You're not there for company, you are there to dance. What company you give is just for the sake of getting money. Or you do it when there is nobody else to approach, but that's also just inthe hope of getting money or makig him happy to spend money later. (Better than sitting by yourself, which makes you look unwanted or lazy anyway.)
There's no way to read people about whether they want LDs, the only way to find out is to ask. If rejections never bother you, this is probably not a problem for you. Charlie61 only posted this question because she and many other dancers do get affected by rejections..
charlie61
06-02-2009, 09:25 PM
^ Despite being on vacation, I have interject to disagree that the "only" reason I posted the question was b/c I'm affected by rejection. I like to pre-judge people so I don't bother those who actually do not want dances. I feel like I'm pressuring them negatively when I ask for dances...so I'd rather have as much knowledge as possible beforehand about the chances that they'll accept the proposal.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-03-2009, 12:20 PM
...so I'd rather have as much knowledge as possible beforehand about the chances that they'll accept the proposal.
In baseball if a batter gets a hit 3 times in 10 tries he is a superstar. That is the secret for getting dates in the real world; the ability to take rejection and step up to the plate and take a swing.
fast tan77
06-03-2009, 03:54 PM
Yup, if I am in a regular bar and hit on 5 girls, if I get one date, 3 rejections and a face slap I feel like I did pretty good.
Idmonstre
06-05-2009, 02:25 AM
pressuring them does make me feel bad too. I see other girls in my club who, frankly, are less attractive then me, get waaaaaaaay more dances and they literary nag the people into them it seems. sometimes i see them pull a guy over while he is shaking his head "no" the whole time and trying to break free without making a scene. i just can't bring myself to do this. sometimes the guy says "no" but i can see if i weedle him for a few min i can get him to do one anyway, and i let it go. At any rate i agree with Charlie, as a stripper working the floor i sometimes get the feeling like we are used car salesmen and i hate that. So i wish there was a good way to tell who is and is not interested so as to avoid bothering people who are not.
Hopper
06-05-2009, 03:01 AM
^ Despite being on vacation, I have interject to disagree that the "only" reason I posted the question was b/c I'm affected by rejection. I like to pre-judge people so I don't bother those who actually do not want dances. I feel like I'm pressuring them negatively when I ask for dances...so I'd rather have as much knowledge as possible beforehand about the chances that they'll accept the proposal.
There's a big gap between pressuring and just asking someone who doesn't want a dance. Asking isn't negative. Potentially annoying, but also potentially welcome - you can't necessariy tell in advance.
Problem for you is that some patrons mgiht be acting like they don't want a dance from you but actually do. For various reasons. Maybe they don't want to appear a pushover so as not to be taken for granted or appear too eager, or they are nervous or uncomfortable, etc. etc.
Some patrons will be straight-forward and give open signals, but if you take them all at face value you may be letting them down and missing out, which defeats your purpose. And some patrons might need talking into a dance - they might be missing out and just not know it yet.
The shoe is on the other foot in SCs - the women are doing the approaching. You are asking the same type of questions men ask about approaching women. We all know that some women put on acts and play hard to get and also sometimes initially might not be attracted to the man until after he approaches her and tries on a bit of charm.
In short, it's not simple and you can't afford to be too nice.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-05-2009, 10:09 AM
And some patrons might need talking into a dance ...
I find many dancers will put their hand on a customer's penis to close the sale.
safado
06-05-2009, 02:51 PM
I find many dancers will put their hand on a customer's penis to close the sale.
I find it better when they use their mouth instead of their hand.
dreamer1980
06-05-2009, 03:38 PM
I find many dancers will put their hand on a customer's penis to close the sale.
that shit never works for me (ok once it did, but that was it). i cant explain it, but its a huge turn off. i feel like they think its every mans weakness and it will generate a yes no matter what.
now having this happen during a lap dance is a whole other story ;D.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-05-2009, 06:40 PM
i feel like they think its every mans weakness and it will generate a yes no matter what.
now having this happen during a lap dance is a whole other story ;D.
It does work that is why they do it. Then when they get your money back in private they go air dance. I have learned to not give in.
dreamer1980
06-06-2009, 02:05 PM
It does work that is why they do it. Then when they get your money back in private they go air dance. I have learned to not give in.
i always felt it was too strong of a hustle tactic, thats probably why i get turned off. ive also noticed that they include dirty talk along the lines of having sex in the VIP or getting a BJ/HJ in the VIP. my instinct has always called bullshit on them and from what you're saying, i have good instincts ;).
deluc
06-07-2009, 10:08 AM
I'll ask for a dance myself if I see a Gal I like.
Unless she's obviously with a customer.
I can't get my mind around the idea of waiting for them to come to me, if I like what I see, you can bet I'll make a move before someone else does.
If she's at the bar or wandering around, I'll just say "Hey Pretty Lady, I'll keep ya busy for a little while." or something equally cheesy.
If she's on the stage, I'll wait for her to make her pass-by and tell her to come see me when she gets offstage and give her a nice tip.
As for the OP, I can only say that its trial and error, and it'll never really get better than that. One guy may show interest in you by staring intensly at you, another may be shy and keep looking away. Another might smile invitingly while another tries to look mildly disinterested.
Keep trying and keep chalking up any rejections to "This poor fool doesn't know what he's missing." At least you're hustling your butt off and thats a heck of a lot more effort than a good deal of the other ladies put into their work.
charlie61
06-07-2009, 05:41 PM
Having danced for almost three years, I've gotten used to getting turned down, and it doesn't bother me much anymore. I do like being aware of various signals that people might use to display interest, however. That's the short of it.
Thank you for everyones' input. :)
Earl_the_Pearl
06-07-2009, 07:40 PM
I do like being aware of various signals that people might use to display interest, however. That's the short of it.
Just mention computers; I can't resist a women that talks nerdy to me.
Golden_Rule
06-15-2009, 09:14 PM
I've read most of the responses.
I don't recall anyone saying what I do.
When I am interested in a dancer I walk up to her with a big, open, friendly smile and tell her I am interested in her and if she has some free time I'd very much like her to come over and sit down so we can talk about it some more. ["Hello. You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better. Would you mind coming over to where I am sitting and spend a minute or two to talk about it some?" Sometimes, if the club is busy, I might add something like, "I promise not to waste your time."]
I don't put money down unless I am tipping modestly at the stage [I don't under tip, I don't over tip], I don't pretend not to notice her or the opposite, make long eye contact. I just tell her exactly what's on my mind.
The vast majority of the time she does precisely this and if there is any chemistry after a couple of minutes of talk off we go. If not, because I asked that she come over I tip her appropriately for her time without dragging it out for no reason.
startngate
06-30-2009, 09:11 PM
When I am interested in a particular dancer, I have done many of the things mentioned in the thread. I will tip more than a dollar, and up to 20 on stage if I feel I need to. I will have a waitress, bartender or bouncer track someone down that doesn't end up in my section of the club very often, or heads right back to the dressing room after stage. On rare occasions, I will walk up to a dancer and ask directly. I only chase when the dancer isn't coming around my table, or is otherwise engaged somehow.
Most of the time, I will just make eye contact and nod my head when you are looking at me or otherwise give you a signal to come over. If you are dancing on stage or are approaching my table and I look away from you or cross my arms or legs away from you, I'm not interested. Those are simple body language traits that work in more situations than just the club. Look for those if you are trying to filter out customers likely to turn you down.
I rarely buy dances from someone that doesn't take some time to engage in small-talk with me before the subject of dances comes about. In fact, I prefer to be the one that asks about it first. 'Wanna dance' girls can be the hottest dancer in the club and will get a flat no from me 100% of the time. Doesn't matter if the club is slammed, if you're not putting any effort into me, I'm not buying a dance. I'm also not stupid so asking me things that are just a backhanded way of saying 'wanna dance' will get you nowhere.
One other thing you can do if you want to cut down on your rejection level is be careful with timing your approach. As others have said, most customers do want to settle in when they arrive. If there are no drinks on the table, a customer probably isn't ready for dances. Feel free to approach, introduce yourself and welcome us to the club ... just don't even mention getting a dance. You'll likely kill yourself off from that table for the rest of the night. Also avoid approaching us when we've just come back from getting some dances. We left the lapdance area because we needed a break. If another dancer was sitting with us and gets up to leave, don't come running over immediately and sit down. Again, we are probably looking for a break.
Hopper
07-01-2009, 01:10 AM
^I prefer dancers to talk a little before asking about an LD, but not because I want them to make the effort. I want a little time to see what the girl is like.
If she asks me about an LD and hangs about to try to talk me into it (instead of moving on immediately), that's also an opportunity for me to suss her out.
If the girl is hot I'm glad she just put some effort into that (it doesn't happen by accident). With a stripper, it's not a date, it's entertainment - nothing personal. Conversation is nice, but it's not what I'm there for. I can get that for real from hot girls I meet IRL.
I know the only reason she approached me was to get a LD so I don't need her to pretend she's just interested in me. However, you will probably have better chance of success if you don't make it obvious and do show (or feign) some personal interest in the prospect, since it adds to the experience (or the "fantasy").
But if a really hot girl waltzes up to me and says "Hi, wanna dance?", I'm going!
Cyril
07-01-2009, 09:13 PM
I do not have notable experience with strippers but if I were in a nightclub and a civilian girl kept coming into my arms then I will topographically explore her body with my hands starting with her boobs of course. That is how I would show that I want her. And yes, I will buy her some drinks too.
Alas, those days are behind me now. But those were the good old days. :(
Jake39
07-20-2009, 07:40 PM
I show her some serious green. Lots of bills helps.