starting fresh....

[outdatedinnocence]

So im on the verge of turning 20( a little over 2 weeks, its the 14th) and i just feel....lost and depressed. Im out of shape, lacking confidence and more often then not just bored with life. Don't get me wrong i keep busy with work school and the boyfriend but theres just this continuous void. To make matters worse ive been dippin back into bulimia lately , the lack of control just makes everything feel worse.:'(
Im done with this though..i want to get myself back together and I am this time.I've become inspired by reading some other threads on here and no longer feel so alone. I don't want my 20s to be a road of regrets and days of self consciousness, i want to feel like "myself" again.
So heres my plan and goals to get me started;D

1. Absolutely no fast food! ...Ive been dipping into this way to often to the point i dont even feel guilty anymore.
2. Get in 25hrs of gym time a month.
3. Eat healthier and start using my juicer again
4.kick the diet soda to once a day and drink more water/herbal teas
5. those previous ones go with this main goal.... to get back down to 115lbs by july (im currently around 135-140)
6. Keep up with my homework and study,study,study.
7. Be nicer to myself....I put myself down a lot and that does nothing but cause destructive behavior.
8. Hang out with my girls more....i feel like im really lacking in this area. It also makes it hard with school bc my two closest friends now live out of state for school...so maybe become closer with my other friends .
9. Stop wearing sweats constantly...i cleaned out my droors and closet today to get a feel for what ive been ignoring ...start putting those outfits to work :P
10.update this atleast every three days.


sorry if this came off depressing i just really need somewhere to post and really keep tabs on myself.....
heres to a happier self.
Heres a quote that makes me smile and on the same topic... btw great movie8)

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case
too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time
limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay
the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make
the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of
it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel
things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people
with a different point of view. I hope you live a life
that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I
hope you have the strength to start all over again.
-Benjamin Button

[Kylea2]

Good luck with everything!

You didn't tell us how tall you are, but unless you are literally 5'1 or less then you are not overweight at 135lbs.

I got a juicer as a gift... it's not the one I wanted though and really seems like a pain in the butt - so I don't use it much. If you can do that though and stick to lots of veggies you will lose weight quick.

Why not start taking pole classes with your friends? It's great for just having fun and will build your confidence!

[outdatedinnocence]

I'm just about hitting 5'3... but i hold all my weight around my hips/upper thighs so when i was 115 i was a nice comftorable size 5.Thats where i really just felt most confident at. So right now i got a big ol' belly that just kinda beats up the self esteem lol.I really love my juicer but i godda say cleaning the thing is a pain in the ass....speaking of that does anyone know if its okay to make my juice in the morning and put some away for later in the fridge ...will it lose a majority of the nutrients? Good idea w. the pole dancing classes...just godda find a place now =). Thanks for the support!;D

[sessik86]

When i turned 20, I had a quarterlife crisis too. I went to borders and got a few books on it . I don't think it quite helped though.

[missmays1983]

well you got the 1st few steps out of the way....figuring out how you feel, why you feel the way that you do, determining how you want to feel and what you want to change or bring into your life...now all you have to do is stay focused and motivated!!

i just wanted to wish you good luck and let you know that you are not alone in how you feel (i'm going through a funk too...). just know that you are capable of making changes, no matter how impossible it may seem or discouraged you may feel.

keep you head held high, and just know that life is what you make it, and you CAN make it GREAT!!!

best of luck and do keep us posted with your progress!

[bella_4x4]

i dont think its sounded depressing more if i write it down i have to push to reach my goals. good for you. and good luck getting all those points checked off. but i must agree that 135 is not heavy, weight has always been really touchy for me (my own) but maybe try to focus to get you body where you ant it, not your weight where you want it, muscle ways more than fat, s 120 ma look better than 110 on you, i mean i havent seen pictures, but keep going for your goals, and yes keep us posted...

[outdatedinnocence]

Thanks everybody 8)
I did good today got up this morning and finally used the juicer again lol. Went to class, came home did all the homework and whatnot trying to keep up with everything.
Went to the gym for an hour and a half...which really just felt amazing :D Godda keep up with that now ...just godda get into the routine

food wise i did okay today, went out to eat with the b.f. tonight and i ate a lot better then i usually would, made better decisions. I dressed up all cute too, which made it easier to make better eating decisions lol , had one of those tops on that look like a corset so if i overate I woulda been pretty damn uncomftorable lol.Drank a ton of water today also...and stopped by Sallys and got two different types of facial masks by Queen Helene. Love them haha.

but yeah..so far so good. I made sure not to talk myself down at all and just kick out bad thoughts.Just godda slowly tweak the eating. Already feeling a lot better


thank you everybody thats responded. Ill weigh myself tomorrow morning to get my starting weight forgot to this mornin.

[missmays1983]

keep it up girl!!

and yes, Queen Helene is the business!

[outdatedinnocence]

so far so good. ;D once again yesterday i didnt do to wonderful in the food area:-\ but today i did 100x better went to the gym got a good hour and a half in. Feel really good, my tummy and thighs already have the tightening feel (im sure its in my head but oh well lol) Weighed myself today and the starting weight is 138.5. ooooooooooooooooooooh and today plato's closet had a grab bag sale (fill a bag with as much as you can for 10$) Spent $20 and got 30 new tank tops/tops which made me soooooo happy. Get a serious high off of bargain hunting haha. Only 3 or 4 didnt fit well...couldnt try anything on the place was chaos. So i have some new duds to keep me motivated. Really feeling refreshed... had a bad day yesterday not gonna let it get to me. Im gonna do a 24hr juice fast tomorrow and im gonna try to do that once a week to cleanse my body. My skin (mainly shoulders and back) arent looking to good...bad genetics in the acne area. Luckily i dont get it bad on my face just really self conscious about my back.
Itd feel really good to be 135 for my bday.(crosses fingers)}:D

[soxysassy]

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case
too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time
limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay
the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make
the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of
it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel
things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people
with a different point of view. I hope you live a life
that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I
hope you have the strength to start all over again.
-Benjamin Button

I wasn't interested in watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button but you just made me want to now lol!

[chanzep]

I wasn't interested in watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button but you just made me want to now lol!

Me too!

[vanilla.love]

Outdated, you sound like me =).. altho instead of writing on here, im trying to write shit more in books. It's good, and my life isnt so self destructive/crazy going nowhere. Keep it up sister, I'm confident that life can be so good.

[wish]

Sweety I'm 25 and I find myself still making a list and constintly starting over... thats life not depressing

[vanilla.love]

Oh yeah Happy Birthday!