View Full Version : Funny Stripper Milestones
chitownchick
05-13-2009, 05:38 PM
ok this isnt funny but its something i have heard of the really good dancers doing at clubs and owners commenting on it anyways there was group of wel dressed good looking guys who came, i was with a custy but i noticed they werent watching any of the girls on stage adn their was a girl with them which intimdated me.
but my shift was ending so before i went in the dressing room i walked by and asked if i knew one of them because they looked familiar. anyways we get to talking and they work for a farm that is a rival to the farm i work for. so i go up do a set they look at me, so now its a challenge.
i go up again because i was getting tipped by another guy and then they start sittingaround the stage and after every song ended theywould yell "one more" to the dj. i ended up doing 4 sets. i have been learning some new pole tricks and i did every one of them....it was just a crazy ego boost i got. there were 10 guys at the stage tipping me and a couple of guys from the bar came up to as i was finishing....just wanted to share, its a milestone for me, i have always wanted to be able to hold down most of the room.
Crow2
05-13-2009, 08:56 PM
here's a few 'unusual' dancer milestones ...
- first time ducking under a table as a pissed off customer starts wielding a loaded pistol in the main club
- first time disarming a dancer in the dressing room who was intent on knifing another dancer
- first time of personally 'perp walking' a perv customer straight out of the VIP room through the main club and right out the front door ( with a 5" heel planted in his ass as a coup-de-grace)
- first time the 'crushing a can in your cleavage' stage trick goes wrong ... and the still partly full can slips out, goes airborne, and spews beer over the first two rows of stageside custys
Oh Melonie! I adore you..
- first time ducking a thrown liquor bottle. ( I hid behind a table )
- first time popping another stripper in the head with my shoe
- first time I lost my locker key
-first time I did the boob flex trick and made a man fall out of his chair.
- first time I lost a shoe on stage. ( Hilarious )
-first time I locked a tweaker dancer in her locker ( she was intent on boinking anyone with a chair )
-first "chat" in the bathroom I had with an extras girl at my home club.
-first time I walked in a club bathroom and saw chicks doing lines off the toilet.
-first all nude confrontation with custy for my payment of LD money. ( that was hilarious as well. Me, nude on stairs getting ready to fight. No shoes even. So FUNNY! )
GI Barbie
05-13-2009, 09:39 PM
...already rung up over $200 worth of stuff when I realized I had some twenties, but I was going to have to literally stand there and count out like $80 in ones! It took forever, ... ::)
haha I worked at Toys R Us when I was in high school and one year at Christmas this woman came in and gave me $999 in ones! Holy crap did counting my drawer that night at 2am suck.
RandomDancer
05-15-2009, 12:07 PM
Ok, bad firsts first lol....
-being at a club when it got raided
-having other dancers get REALLY nasty (several girls' bags were broken into, bleach dumped all over everything)
-bitten by a customer (it's happened a few times now)
-being forced to work longer or extra shifts than scheduled for, I.E."go home now and you're fired" or "come in tomorrow or you're fired"
-drunk dancer cornering me with sexual advances
-seeing other dancers smoke crack or shoot up either in DR or parking lot
-seeing an underage dancer get dragged out of the club by a family member
-having cops come to the club looking for a particular girl
...... and now the good ones
-getting tipped $100 bill onstage
-customer walking up and asking for VIP
-customer buying me out for the night, then leaving
-making BANK when I personally thought I looked like hell
-ATM was out of $, customer left to get cash $$$ for VIP and actually CAME BACK
-showing off in a regular nightclub that just HAPPENED to have a pole (super fun time!)
-meeting someone famous in the club
-customer bought my panties for $$
........finally, the ???
-witnessing 3 generations of strippers onstage naked together (mother, daughter, grandma)
-seeing another dancer's wig/hairpiece fly off onstage
-seeing dancers come back to work after cosmetic surgery waaaay too soon, like the next day with bandages still on!
Since I've been dancing almost as long as some of my coworkers have been alive, I've probably forgotten more milestones than I can remember right now. LOL!
Melonie
05-16-2009, 07:20 AM
-first time I did the boob flex trick and made a man fall out of his chair.
yup Crow I know exactly what you're talking about !!! I used to 'titty slap' guys who were misbehaving, until they started misbehaving on purpose LOL !!!
Here's another one you may have run across. I was doing an in-house feature gig one Halloween ... and the club's power failed as a storm came through. I borrowed two flashlights from the bouncers, stuck them against the underside of my boobs, and improv'd a 'two pumpkins' stage routine !
Another one I have seen, but can't come close to doing myself, involved a dancer who had recently had a baby. Her boobs had 'deflated', and her nipples were gigantic. As a result, she could pull her nipples together in the center of her chest and tie them in a knot !!!
Crow2
05-16-2009, 11:29 AM
yup Crow I know exactly what you're talking about !!! I used to 'titty slap' guys who were misbehaving, until they started misbehaving on purpose LOL !!!
Here's another one you may have run across. I was doing an in-house feature gig one Halloween ... and the club's power failed as a storm came through. I borrowed two flashlights from the bouncers, stuck them against the underside of my boobs, and improv'd a 'two pumpkins' stage routine !
Another one I have seen, but can't come close to doing myself, involved a dancer who had recently had a baby. Her boobs had 'deflated', and her nipples were gigantic. As a result, she could pull her nipples together in the center of her chest and tie them in a knot !!!
OHOH! I've done the flashlight thing - that's SO FUNNY!
I can't titty slap anyone, but I have put naughty men in a headlock with my legs. Also, I've made an entire club fall out laughing by giving a bad boy a wedgie on stage. Pulling him up over the tip rail and YANKING his undies up.
Athenathefabulous
06-11-2009, 02:01 PM
I had one happen today that i thought was worth noting. Since I started dancing the instances of finding 'surprise money' (as in that money that appears out of nowhere that you didnt know you had) has increased for me, although usually its only 1s and 5s and the occasional 20. Today at the coffee shop I had my first instance of finding a surprise 100$ bill in my jean pockets. Overall this was a good milestone...
Jessamin
06-12-2009, 05:08 PM
-First time brekaing a pair of shoes
-First time getting tipped 50s on stage
-First time getting my money stolen at work (not fun)
-First time breaking $1000 in one night.
-Trying to figure out how to do my first tax return since I started dancing, and being too embarassed to file it
The area I have to walk throrugh to get to where I park my car is normally pretty empty and a little frightening. The bouncer walks me there when he can, but if I'm alone I distribute all my money throughout different pockets (very little acutally in my wallet), so if I get mugged I (most likely) won't lose it all. As a result, I am forever finding money I forgot I had in my pockets - best was finding $500 one time... not a bad milestone.
Lady Xplicit18
06-13-2009, 08:50 PM
- Breaking the $2000 mark in my 3rd month of dancing =]
-Wearing down my first heels by breaking the straps
-Doing a lp with another dancer
-First time getting fired lol...
-Seeing another dancer get sooo fucked up that one of the boucers had to carry her
-Being asked what I do at the bank for cashing in all of my ones.....ugh.. still do.
-Getting asked for Extras.....grrr..
-Tripping in my shoes while walking....multiple times
-Learning how and doing the booty muscle flex thing onstage
-Getting tipped for doing the booty muscle flex onstage lmao
-Someone making it rain on me more than 3 times in one shift
-Getting a guy that truly thinks that I'm the one for him that is now my regular
-Having to stand up for myself and confronting a dancer about an issue
-Drinking on the job first & last time ( I didn't even get buzzed that time! lol)
-Thinking I heard my stage name out in public and search for the person by turning my head lol
-A guy not wanting to pay for dances (he owed me over $200)
And just recently, FORGOT MY PIN NUMBER TO MY ATM CARD SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING CASH FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS FOR EVERYTHING!
girlygirl21
08-18-2009, 01:47 AM
First time falling on stage ( Our pole is on on the edge of the stage and my heel went back and I sort of gripped the pole for dear life as I fell)
First time wearing through a pair of shoes (and having my manager run home to get superglue)
First time custie tried to stick it in my during a table dance
First time getting rained on
First time blowing a couple hundred dollars shopping entirely in ones
First time answering to my stage name when I heard someone calling it
First time (tonight actually) recognizing a girl I went to high school with at the tip rail (We were like OMG!!! HEYYYYYY)
First time hiding from an ex in the back for fear of being recognized
First time asking manager if he could see my tampon string when Im onstage b/c I didnt know if I cut it all the way
First time seeing coke
First time having a foot festish dude rub my feet in VIP
First time using a garter to make a ponytail while I did my make up (ive seen girls use them with their rollers. I took it out before I went on stage)
First time getting paid in quarters for a table dance (theyre ten dollars)
First time being offered drugs in exchange for VIP
First time having girls try to buy my pee for a drug test
First time dancing for a cop (akward)
First time touching a boob (in VIP)
0michelle.michelle0
08-18-2009, 10:46 AM
-awkward sneaky attempts to hide the fact that you have a huge wad of cash in your purse. HAHA!! so true! and the digging around for big bills!
-buying and breaking that first pair of shoes
-moving into a NICE apartment (and paying everything with cash.)
-first inversion on the pole- and then when I could actually pull it off in front of a packed house.
-taking my first big travel excursion to NYC by myself and banking
-the first time I taught someone else how to do a pole trick
-all of the ridiculous hustles I've ever successfully pulled off.
-arriving at the bank with exactly $800 in singles when the bill counter is being temperamental (sorry, bro)
And since alot of milestones I feel like I reached before I started dancing (I used to tend bar in a club):
-my first mocktail!
-getting rained on
-the first time someone propositioned me, via napkin.
-the first time I ever bitch-slapped a stranger
-seeing a customer in his natural environment (not purposefully. Like when you see someone you know is a reeking pervert buying his kids ice cream at the tastee freeze)
-the first time I ever got on stage. was also the first time I ever beat the shit out of someone with their own belt.
i <3 this thread!!
missjzone
10-29-2011, 05:43 AM
--making a large purchase with all $1 bills
uhuh;D
kitinboots
10-29-2011, 06:39 AM
First time a customer from a club in one country came to see me at a club in a different country
First time a customer brought me a gift
First time a customer openly did drugs in front of me
First time I was in VIP from open until 2 hours after close
First time a guy bought me a bottle of Cristal
First time I revisited a club I used to work at, as a customer
First time I ran into a regular outside the club while I was on a date with a hottie :s
First time I had a VIP who expected me to dance non stop for 5 hours (my god my legs hurt the next day)
Breaking €2500
First time going to a club after work dressed in my pjs that I showed up to work in
The first dodgy club situation I got in and out of
First celebrity customer
smeca
11-01-2011, 05:05 AM
In the last few weeks: first celebrity (no dances but i tried my best chatting them up before finding out who they were, unexpected!), first fetish VIP! He was great.
anouk.oui
11-01-2011, 05:18 AM
i never fell on the stage ever
first attractive custy
first time watching crying girl break up with husband over the phone then puke in a trashcan and kinda pass out
first realisation this club may be a dive
first time feeling stupid about being fucked over by other girls
first beer kicked into a custys lap
kikidejavu
11-02-2011, 03:39 PM
The first time i saw someone do coke was tramatic! im like what the hell did i get myself into?!
now it's like ok, you may want to move cause im about to blow dry my hair ;)
Cammi
11-02-2011, 08:33 PM
first time being hit on by a stripper that's totally whacked out on coke
smeca
11-05-2011, 10:55 AM
Being in the uk this doesn't happen, so last night some guy threw a few 5s and 10s onto the stage during a girl's set! If i was up there I would've worked it tp get him to give it up!
Cammi
11-05-2011, 11:04 AM
First time being hit on by a bouncer
...Why do all my milestones involve being hit on?
fantasyarchitect
11-08-2011, 12:07 PM
First time in a strip club! I had literally never been in one before walking into my current club.
First time in a club other than my own. A shitty lapdance dive with a jukebox, teeny tiny stage, a vending machine, track lights, busted dancers and no door on the dressing room. Made me so incredibly thankful for the beautiful club I work in.
First time I sat with one customer the entire night. Didn't talk to a single other customer at all and still banked. Dude kept tipping me 20's and paying 3X the normal dance rate. We literally just hung out in the club for 6 straight hours.
First table dance. It was for a guy high on cocaine and paid for by his lobbyist friend.
First time I got offered free cocaine. Same guy asked if I wanted to do some blow with him. In the bathroom. It's happened many times since, but it was a big shock to my provincial self the first time.
First time a dude bought me my own 700 dollar bottle of Cystal.
First time I had a champagne hangover (by far the worst kind of hangover)
First time a customer took me to dinner in the steakhouse we have built into our club.
First time a customer bought me surf n turf.
First time I got rained on by a celebrity.
First time I got more than 100 dollars of rain.
First time I got a VIP from the first dude I talked to.
First time a dude spent over a grand on me in VIP.
First time a customer touched my pussy.
First time I danced for a celebrity.
First time I partied with a celebrity.
First time I touched a celebrity (Diddy!)
First time I cried at work (this one has happened a couple times since)
First time I made ONE dollar (after tipout and valet)
First time I paid out of pocket to work.
First time I went promoting for the club - rode in a limo and our manager bought bottles everywhere we went. Felt like a dream.
First time I went to a normal dance club I used to love and realized I hated it because now it felt like work.
First time I got recognized in public by a customer.
First time I sold a VIP room to a customer who did not speak English.
First time I stood up and walked away from a customer who was insulting me.
First time I applied glitter to my pussy.
First time I deposited over a grand in the bank.
First time I deposited just ones at the bank. 700 of them, rubberbanded in a Ziploc bag. It just screams I AM A STRIPPER.
First time I paid my rent and bills with stripper money...felt damn good after being broke for years.
First time my savings account went over 5K.
Lots of happy firsts!
sexyscarlet
11-09-2011, 01:31 PM
lol these are so funny!!!
- first time falling off the pole onto my ass on stage (oopsy! one guy jumped out of his seat to see if i was ok! it was sweet!)
- first time i couldn't stop laughing during a VIP - this customer, sweet guy but old and fat. He always makes these insanely loud grunting noises and 'oh, yeah's' lol so I started doing the same thing and laughing and he didn't even notice. :P
- first time having a girl bend over next to my face and ask me if I could see her string.
phoenixxxrising
11-09-2011, 04:04 PM
-first time I sold a VIP, which just so happened to also be the first time I ever did a lapdance & the first time a customer whipped his dick out
-first time I fell in the club
-first time I made all my bill money in one night off of one customer
-first time I saw a dancer helping another dancer shave her labia in the DR (it was really weird)
Jennbunny
11-10-2011, 07:17 PM
I remember the first time I learned to booty pop!
That's awesome! my girlfriend who dances and I have been trying to learn how...could you help us figure it out?
tommythetank
11-10-2011, 11:17 PM
I imagine most of these have been done, but
First marriage proposal
First marriage proposal from a distant family member (this really happened)
First time the guy fell asleep in VIP
First time I hit a customer
First time I hit a bouncer!
First time not eing able to tip out/pay fees.. :(
luscious sadie
11-11-2011, 11:17 AM
- first club
- first stage show
- first real stripper outfit
- first stripper friend
- first time making a lot of money
- first really good customer
- first time traveling for work
- first extended travel
- first time hooking up with a guy FROM the club (not ITC!)
- first time getting recognized at the club
- first time making 1k
- first time making more than 1k
- first time you sleep with a DJ / bouncer / manager
- first time you sleep with another girl
- first big drama about / including / with you at the club
- first time leaving a club and saying you'll never be back
- first time coming back after saying you'll never come back
nessagolightly
11-11-2011, 01:19 PM
-First time you witness a fight between dancers in the dressing room-with wigs literally flying off their heads.
-First hit of weed, then being crazy paranoid for two hours and vowing to never ever do it again.
-First dancer friend who isn't really a friend, she just wants to use you as a ride home, or to borrow your powder.
Yeah I'm a 2 month newb. Every shift is a lesson learned!
seashell
11-11-2011, 02:00 PM
-First time being violated by female custies (the older lady whose tube dress went up and down at the same time, with no bra or panties :O)
-First time buying heels and lingerie-in-a-box at a sex shop and being asked if I want a stripper discount card
-First time putting vodka in a water bottle to drink at work (we're not allowed to drink unless we buy it ourselves at the bar or go to VIP... boo!!)
-First time mistaking a butch-y lesbian for a man and asking her for a dance (women custies kind of terrify me)
-First time having my girl parts groped by other girls
-First time having someone make it rain in $20 bills (I think he was too drunk to know the difference... but it was AWESOME!)
-First time being dragged into a bathroom stall with a drunk female custy (seriously wtf)
-First time letting a homeless stripper live with me
All I can think of for now!
ChristyWild
12-10-2011, 10:16 PM
I've been dancing for almost 10 years now, so I've got a TON of these lol *deep breath* (And sorry about none of the stage name snafus...is why I picked my real first name as my stage/porn name lol)
first (time)...
...working through a pair of shoes (yes, they broke)
...making (Not taking home, tho) $1000
...tipped $100
...trying a pole trick
...a customer came on me
...a customer whipped his dick out
...a customer propositioned me
...I fell on stage (someone had dripped alcohol meant for the rag on the stage)
...going out of town to dance
...someone tried to finger me during a dance
...a customer tried to bite my ass (I ended up giving him a broken nose cuz he clamped down so hard I had teeth marks for two days)
...I left my garter on after leaving work
...I had a stalker customer
...a customer came up to me OTC
...working during Super Bowl
...I never went on stage due to being busy in the back
...getting so drunk I got sent home from work (not one of my shining moments)
...I had to exit stage right during a set cuz my period soaked thru my tampon
...gift from a regular
...regular custie, for that matter
...I got two VIPs in a row with the same guy
...arrest for dancing (stripper bus at rayjay back a few years ago lol- was merely harrassment, I wasn't doing anything illegal)
...doing a bachelor party dance on stage
...putting on fake lashes
...making less than $50
...lending an outfit to a girl and not getting it back
...learning what all these girls do at work or OTC (was very naive at 19)
...SEEING another girl doing extras while I'm trying to do a legit dance AND my custie asking if he could get that too
...working til close
...losing a champagne room (apparently I wasn't blonde enough for them)
...all expenses paid shopping trip
...giving one custie dances for 45 minutes straight....my abs HURT the next day lol
...champagne room
...dating a custie (met him on an out of town gig and we just clicked...was a small town and we're still going strong 7 months later)
...hearing "I'll be right back...have to get more out of my car" and watching them drive off...on their motorbike
...putting my work outfit on with heels already on
...my purse was stolen (new phone, $450 and much more and it was a CUSTOMER who did it!)
...selling/buying outfits off of/to other dancers
...listening to a song on the radio and going "that would be great to dance to"
...looking at an outfit for it's dance club potential rather than bedroom lol
...kids I went to high school with found out what I'd been up to after graduation LOL (the guys loved it, most of the girls were either horrified or envious)
...watching mother and daughter dance on stage AT THE SAME TIME
...in a magazine spread
...being asked if I could be paid for dances in something other than money (I've been offered weed, coke and, for some reason, a guy's honda)
...knowing I'd made enough to be able to put 20% down on my house :D (happy day!)
...real stripper outfit...though most of my current ones are cobbled together from VS panties and wet seal tanks
...slept with a dj or bouncer
...came into a club as a customer..ish (have been into clubs for the past 5/6 years in Tampa as part of the Nightmoves Caravan)
charlie61
12-11-2011, 10:48 AM
Not really a funny one, but...
Starting at your second club ever.
Annastasi
12-11-2011, 11:13 AM
First time dreaming about work -- took almost a year! At least it was a good dream, about making lots of money...
First time seeing a girl change a tampon in the dressing room, in front of 3 other girls, while talking to her b/f on her cel.
First time slapping a customer at the rack, then having that customer decide he was in love with me and buying dances all night.
hometeam-showgirl
06-10-2016, 11:43 AM
I want to bring this thread back!
An exciting milestone for me was giving my first lap dance to a woman. She was really beautiful and actually interested in me, too! (as opposed to just being there with her boyfriend)
kirakonstantin
06-12-2016, 03:31 AM
First time getting a hotel room key. Happened tonight and he was ALL kinds of hot. Damn my overdeveloped conscience and impenetrable integrity!!!!
Layla.00
06-12-2016, 04:32 AM
First time seeing girls do the pussy check in the mirror before heading back on the floor after going to the washroom.
LoveyDovey
06-12-2016, 10:52 AM
First time...
*getting a joint thrown on my stage
*$1000 club
*witnessing a huge barroom brawl that was so big a random customer jumped up on the stage, ran across it, and dove INTO said brawl
*dancing for a vice cop (not funny but it happens)
*seeing another dancer practice yoga naked in the dressing room
*falling onstage
*receiving nice gifts from customers ( everything from a national geographic DVD box set about lions to a LV handbag)
*performing inverted pole tricks
*working on a spinning pole
I'd like to have the "I danced for /got rained on by a celebrity" milestone. And actually have it be a cool experience.
Aammeelliiaa
06-12-2016, 07:34 PM
I think I've hit the falling on stage milestone about 110 times.
yep me too
the first 2k in a night (ony has happened a few times), i have a dream of some night making 4k or 5k
being found out by family was the worst one by far
the first time seeing people I knew at the club, teachers/people I graduated with
the first time i bumped into a girl i worked with when we were both out to eat with our familes
the first time I saw a girl ODing in the dressing room, the saddest
the first time I left my 'home' club and branched out
crystalize
06-16-2016, 06:16 PM
i've hit pretty much all milestones but i want to retire next year and still need to:
-break $2,000 in one night
-get rained on in 20's or higher
-get rained on $1,000
-get a good sugar daddy