View Full Version : "So... why are you dancing"
threlayer
03-26-2009, 07:35 PM
Here's what I don't want to hear: (1) I'm spending it on payments for a motorcycle for my boyfriend, the unemployed rock band drummer; (2) partying (drugs, alcohol); (3) a new BMW, Maserati etc.
So I don't ask.
charlie61
03-26-2009, 08:34 PM
As a side note, and not that anyone cares...but just so no one thinks I'm a crazy, impulsive, power-wielding bitch: I was not the one to ban Lucifer911, and he was certainly not banned because of this thread.
Bob_Loblaw
03-27-2009, 07:19 AM
Not that anyone cares who banned Lucifer911 or that he was banned at all. I don't think there's any reason to be concerned with the optics of it. /end threadjack
rockie
03-27-2009, 01:40 PM
Charlie61: While I've occasionally wondered about some prior members who've been banned, it never occurred to me that you would be the mod to ban Lucifer. I feel you've demonstrated an ability to promote and allow valid discussion in the appropriate thread that at other times has been denied on SW. I post this as my observation, not as a challenge to other mods and other decisions.
charlie61
03-27-2009, 02:51 PM
^ That's good to hear. I felt odd about it because he was banned so close to when he and I had a back-and-forth (heated) debate in this thread...so I just wanted to make sure no one thought I had taken his comments too personally or anything. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
the truth
03-28-2009, 01:33 AM
Off-topic: How long have you been a moderator.
charlie61
03-28-2009, 03:51 PM
This whole thread has moved to off-topic, anyway...so no worries.
Not long. A few months.
Moving back on topic...I've never asked the question directly but it always comes up even if indirectly out of casual conversation. I like to hear that she is moving forward in a positive direction in her life. For the younger women that would probably be university (I eventually figure out if they really are in college) but for some of the slightly older dancers maybe it is just them finally getting a handle on their lives, getting rid of the useless BF/father of their kid(s) and getting their shit together. So I guess I have to admit a dancer saying to me "I am paying for college" or saying "I finally kicked my douchebag dude to the curb and I am moving on" would actually work for me as long as I had a sense that their story was true.
FBR
charlie61
03-28-2009, 05:22 PM
^ I like that you allow for different kinds of positive answers. There's definitely something to be said for empowered women who may not have had the best run of it, but are trying to better themselves.
yoda57us
03-29-2009, 09:06 AM
^ I like that you allow for different kinds of positive answers. There's definitely something to be said for empowered women who may not have had the best run of it, but are trying to better themselves.
Agreed. My preference for older women along with my addiction to Asian and Brazilian dancers means that I meet a lot of ladies who have dumped a bad husband or BF, left a poverty stricken homeland for a better life in the US, and are often helping to support two or three generations of their family with income from dancing.
rlams2000
03-30-2009, 04:51 PM
Moving back on topic...I've never asked the question directly but it always comes up even if indirectly out of casual conversation. I like to hear that she is moving forward in a positive direction in her life. For the younger women that would probably be university (I eventually figure out if they really are in college) but for some of the slightly older dancers maybe it is just them finally getting a handle on their lives, getting rid of the useless BF/father of their kid(s) and getting their shit together. So I guess I have to admit a dancer saying to me "I am paying for college" or saying "I finally kicked my douchebag dude to the curb and I am moving on" would actually work for me as long as I had a sense that their story was true.
FBR
I didn't figure you for the sensitive type. :'(
Smokeless
04-01-2009, 05:45 PM
I didn't figure you for the sensitive type. :'(
Oh, FBR is notorious for his sensitivity!
;D
charlie61
04-01-2009, 05:59 PM
Part of why I was asking is because I often find dancers I like while I'm working, and then I hear how they're using their money....and even as a friend, I find it to be a complete turn-off. So I'd imagine that as a customer, it'd be even more of a turn-off, because you're the ones directly supporting these women!
I mean I realize this is walking the line between defining something that's very subjective: i.e. "legitimate" versus "not-legitimate" reasons for working...but I'm talking about the
"Well, I have a kid, but I'm actually using the money for pot."
"I'm using it to pay my boyfriend's bail. Again."
answers.
Unnnnattractive.
Seems like y'all are divided as far as who actually gives a shit and who just wants the entertainment with no side-dishes of unnecessary information.
Earl_the_Pearl
04-02-2009, 08:18 PM
Just thinking aloud, er... in text, here...
I've seen on numerous occasions on SW, guys steadfastly believing that a dancer asking him what he does for a living is her trying to determine how much money he makes. Is this the case 100% of the time? Or is it merely a way to move a conversation along? Or could it be something else altogether?
That is a question all women ask a man soon after meeting.
charlie61
04-03-2009, 10:44 AM
^ Though I have all men ask me the same question. It doesn't seem to be gender-specific.
Seems like y'all are divided as far as who actually gives a shit and who just wants the entertainment with no side-dishes of unnecessary information.
I like the extra information. I don't ask for it but if offered I find it interesting and something to talk about true or not. I've spun a few yarns myself but generally over time if I hang with a dancer she figures me out and I figure her out. Really not a bad place to be but I am a guy who likes to establish "regular" customer/provider relationships.
FBR
Earl_the_Pearl
04-03-2009, 06:54 PM
Can we talk? I used to think "clubs" were the real world and paid the price. I now know the truth and the truth has set me free.
whiffenpoof
04-07-2009, 10:13 PM
If I ask a dancer this question, or any question for that matter, it is for conversation. I like to get to know a little about the girl I'm spending time and money with. The question is just an ice breaker. It is also nice if she takes some interest in me.
As for you Charlie, you have started a thread that has produced quit a bit of interest. However, if it wasn't for the Lucifers and Phils and others who saw it as an opportunity to give you some advise on the subject, the topic would not be nearly as entertaining as it has been. I probably would not have read past the first page.
I'm really not quite certain what kind of an answer you are looking for, as far as the college education thing is concerned. Maybe you think that putting yourself through college, by stripping, is impressive to some men or that because you are a college student you are a candidate for intelligent conversation. Maybe you are.
Personally, I appreciate someone who is fun to be with, interesting and imaginative. A college education is not a prerequisite for intelligence, although I do believe it is a noble way for you to invest your money.
I understand that this is not the answer you are looking for, but it is the best this under-educated, stupid, selfmade millioniare can come up with, based on your original blog.
charlie61
04-08-2009, 04:18 AM
^ Haha that more than suffices. The answer I was looking for was more directed towards what's going on in peoples' heads when they ask this question and less directed towards "What answer should I give when people ask me this?"
And I definitely agree- the crazies make the thread interesting. :biggrin:
stressed
04-08-2009, 04:38 PM
If it wasnt for the chat i probably (no i know i wouldnt go to strip clubs) Dont get me wrong the dancing is great but the difference between a strip club and normal for me is you dont have to worry if you are leading someone on. I am genuinely interested in other people and if you hit it off with a normal girl in a club its awkward at the end of the night sometimes. Men do not want a stalker anymore than women do. In a strip club you dont have to worry about it. Although the occasional hookup isnt so bad either but at least you dont have to worry about the feelings of a woman sitting in a bar that you have talked to for the past 2 hours. Not saying strippers dont have feelings but they are trained to seperate the two at work. Although i have only turned down one stripper, i have turned down a number of bar flys. A strip club is the best place for me to relax. I really do not know exactly how my conversations get started i just kind of let her lead and will feed off of what she says. It is what it is.
I still get that one girl ever once in awhile that makes me crazy and i could give a shit about the conversation----i am a man afterall.
minnow
04-13-2009, 12:56 AM
c61- A ? for you before I attempt to give you my answer: The guys that ask why you dance- are they first timers asking you that to start with, or do they pop that question after they've had a few dances with you already?
As for myself: I avoid the "why" type questions as ice breakers, concentrating more on the "where, how, & who. The "why" type ? that I may pop later might be "why you chose to work at particular club over the other options around'. Questioning your reasons/motives for dancing in the first place would be a non-starter for me. As for the "answer"- each person is different, therefore, there would be no real right or wrong answers. In short, a well reasoned answer to any question would be OK, but a sullen/ defensive, or snarky answer would be a turnoff.
charlie61
04-13-2009, 07:45 AM
^ I have a lot of different guys ask me this question. There doesn't seem to be a pattern.
Phil-W
04-14-2009, 11:02 AM
...There doesn't seem to be a pattern.
I'm guessing you've picked on the answer that gives you the best return on the time you invest in the conversation - you're appealing to (if I may use the phrase in tongue in cheek mode) the lowest common denominator.
So even if you've not consciously discerned a pattern, I wonder if you've sub-consciously discerned one?
Phil.
charlie61
04-14-2009, 02:43 PM
^ Obviously that's something that would be nearly impossible to either prove or disprove. So yes, my friend...it is possible that I have subconsciously discerned a pattern. Isn't of much use to me though. :biggrin: