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View Full Version : How do you keep it a secret when you work in a SC?



Lucifer911
03-05-2009, 05:50 PM
I'm having a little trouble keeping this work a secret from nosy curious people. I havent told hardly anyone I work in a SC except my family who consistently question me.

None of my coworkers know I work in a SC for ladies.. I did however tell one girl I work at an exclusive gents club behind the bar.. now she has told most of her coworkers what I do.

I figured this would be an effective decoy because the club is very expensive and has like a $20 cover charge so chances are they wouldn't go wandering in there to discover I'm not working there.

Theres no way I'm telling any coworker I'm a semi nude waiter. That would spread gossip like wildfire. I just feel uncomfortable when I have to lie all the time and because I live in a small-medium city it makes it harder to do.

Some workers have no life and will make an excuse just to drop by at your second job just to see you. I have no intention of leaving this industry anytime soon...

So how do you manage to keep this job a secret? its a good thing I'm a pretty private individual with a limited social circle.. so noone knows what I do except on SW of course.

Paris
03-05-2009, 05:58 PM
The first thing you should do is not tell anyone. If you do tell someone, be sure that he/she has been sworn to secrecy.

From what you written, there isn't any putting that genie back in the bottle. You've lost control of your secret, and too many people know what you do.

ETA: I misread what you wrote. I assumed you meant that you worked at a male strip club when you said gents club. I should also add that never assume that something is too expensive or too cheap for someone else. People are surprising in many ways.

Lucifer911
03-05-2009, 06:15 PM
The first thing you should do is not tell anyone. If you do tell someone, be sure that he/she has been sworn to secrecy.

From what you written, there isn't any putting that genie back in the bottle. You've lost control of your secret, and too many people know what you do.

ETA: I misread what you wrote. I assumed you meant that you worked at a male strip club when you said gents club. I should also add that never assume that something is too expensive or too cheap for someone else. People are surprising in many ways.

well everyone is convinced I work at this exclusive gents club doing bar work haha :) if they do rock up there and then question me.. I'll reply back with 'I was just messing with your head' lol.. fact is I just feel uncomfortable lieing. So in a way I'm not lieing 100% when I say I work at a gents SC.

... plus I don't care too much if someone finds me out.. I get 150+ women coming into the club.. sooner or later one of them may find out.. I think society would be less judgemental on a male doing this work though..

JayATee
03-05-2009, 07:05 PM
The first thing I do is I do not talk to anyone about it at all ever. There are 4 ppl in my life that know, and they are all ppl I've known for years, and trust with my life let alone my secrets.

The second thing is to know that in any setting, ppl are going to talk about you if you give them a reason. Stripping is something that most ppl never would or could do, it gives ppl something incredibly interesting to gossip about instead of whatever they have going on in their boring little lives. Don't feed the trolls. There is no reason to tell any one of your co-workers that you have a second job at all. It's none of their business. Since you already did however, don't perpetuate your lie by bringing up your second job all the time. If ppl are convinced that you work at that upscale club, leave it alone. Accept the fact that since you've chosen a line of work that you don't want to talk about and feel like you need to keep secret, you must now lie about it.

However, if you don't care if they know, why lie about it in the first place? And if you were actually trying to keep it a secret, why would you give them such a juicy little tidbit like you're bartending at a male sc? You really don't think that ppl aren't going to want to find out? The real way to have stayed under the radar was to tell them that you're a bartender, nothing more, nothing less, and that's only assuming that you couldn't have gotten away with not saying anything at all.

Blue_Dust_Bunny
03-05-2009, 07:14 PM
This is the one thing that makes me mad as a stripper. I'm very proud of my courage to pursue something that I wanted to do and also my desire to study and learn about different things in this world. Plus, being a stripper makes you deal with the real world in a way very few other professions can and in a way that can prepare you for anything. But I can't tell anyone about my happiness or accomplishments. ;_;

Sorry for my mini rant, it just bums me out severely

Lucifer911
03-05-2009, 07:31 PM
The first thing I do is I do not talk to anyone about it at all ever. There are 4 ppl in my life that know, and they are all ppl I've known for years, and trust with my life let alone my secrets.

The second thing is to know that in any setting, ppl are going to talk about you if you give them a reason. Stripping is something that most ppl never would or could do, it gives ppl something incredibly interesting to gossip about instead of whatever they have going on in their boring little lives. Don't feed the trolls. There is no reason to tell any one of your co-workers that you have a second job at all. It's none of their business. Since you already did however, don't perpetuate your lie by bringing up your second job all the time. If ppl are convinced that you work at that upscale club, leave it alone. Accept the fact that since you've chosen a line of work that you don't want to talk about and feel like you need to keep secret, you must now lie about it.

However, if you don't care if they know, why lie about it in the first place? And if you were actually trying to keep it a secret, why would you give them such a juicy little tidbit like you're bartending at a male sc? You really don't think that ppl aren't going to want to find out? The real way to have stayed under the radar was to tell them that you're a bartender, nothing more, nothing less, and that's only assuming that you couldn't have gotten away with not saying anything at all.

I'm only at my day job on a part time basis so it justifies the need for a second job. When I tell some people I work in a bar.. and they ask me which one? then I have to lie right there and then..

Should I just tell people I do nothing on the weekend? another lie
Then if I get found out... people will know anyway.

Also its very hard to build a rapport with people at my day job without having conversations with them. I think I have covered myself well enough with this decoy.

and.... in another way I want to promote this industry as a whole.. after all its in my interest this business prospers during these times. So if I work in a bar in a gents club I will tell people (fuk their moral BS)

JayATee
03-05-2009, 07:35 PM
I'm only at my day job on a part time basis so it justifies the need for a second job. When I tell some people I work in a bar.. and they ask me which one? then I have to lie right there and then..

Should I just tell people I do nothing on the weekend? another lie
Then if I get found out... people will know anyway.

Also its very hard to build a rapport with people at my day job without having conversations with them. I think I have covered myself well enough with this decoy.

and.... in another way I want to promote this industry as a whole.. after all its in my interest this business prospers during these times. So if I work in a bar in a gents club I will tell people (fuk their moral BS)


You're kind of contradicting yourself here. If you decided that this was something you were trying to keep secret, than you need to have your story down and go with it when you get asked those types of questions, regardless of whether or not you like lying. There is always the potential to be caught unless you're working in another town/city, and even then you can still be caught.

If you're not concerned, or you want to promote the industry, why are you worried about keeping it a secret?

Honey71783
03-05-2009, 07:43 PM
I'm only at my day job on a part time basis so it justifies the need for a second job. When I tell some people I work in a bar.. and they ask me which one? then I have to lie right there and then..

Should I just tell people I do nothing on the weekend? another lie
Then if I get found out... people will know anyway.

Also its very hard to build a rapport with people at my day job without having conversations with them. I think I have covered myself well enough with this decoy.

and.... in another way I want to promote this industry as a whole.. after all its in my interest this business prospers during these times. So if I work in a bar in a gents club I will tell people (fuk their moral BS)

So, basically what you're saying is that you really don't want to keep the fact that you work at a strip club a secret?... Which basically negates the whole thread... Well, I'm glad that we can help you but, it seems like you already had your mind made up to advertisement your second job...

Lucifer911
03-05-2009, 08:09 PM
So, basically what you're saying is that you really don't want to keep the fact that you work at a strip club a secret?... Which basically negates the whole thread... Well, I'm glad that we can help you but, it seems like you already had your mind made up to advertisement your second job...

ok deleting this thread.

dance77
03-06-2009, 01:04 AM
You can try changing up your look a bit, I don't believe alot of people look the same in clubs as they do outside the club especially with the clubs with the dark black lighting inside.
You could try styling your hair in an extremely different way, or wear wigs or hairpieces, some dancers wear these and there are wig stores that cater to men as well. Makeup also changes your look dramatically, musicians use makeup all the time to manipulate their looks, so try to wear a bronzer or eyeliner in a subtle way, this can make a big difference in your appearance and make you look like a totally different person, and maybe help you feel more comfortable and annoynomous for a while.

lexi2008
03-06-2009, 09:48 AM
Apart from the two friends and my mom who know what I do, I tell everyone else that I do alcohol promotions. I don't know if they're common in your area, but I'm talking about the sort of event where girls wear cute coordinated outfits and go to races/bars/nightclubs to promote Budweiser/Jager/Grey Goose and hand out promo materials/samples. I tell them I work from San Francisco to Bakersfield which is why I'm often out of town (so they won't try to come visit me) and it makes sense why I'm always busy on weekend nights. So far, no one's challenged it's plausibility too much. You could always use something along these lines and say are working as a manager for one of these companies and have to travel to oversee the events and girls.

mysteryman
03-06-2009, 12:11 PM
How do you keep it a secret? Tell no one. That way nobody else knows but you.

Christyismyalias
03-06-2009, 01:33 PM
This is the one thing that makes me mad as a stripper. I'm very proud of my courage to pursue something that I wanted to do and also my desire to study and learn about different things in this world. Plus, being a stripper makes you deal with the real world in a way very few other professions can and in a way that can prepare you for anything. But I can't tell anyone about my happiness or accomplishments. ;_;

Sorry for my mini rant, it just bums me out severely


I relate to this so much. I love being a student spending my days working hard in school and then spending my nights in that crazy club as this sexy other personality, and learning so much about the world in the process. I know I am preparing myself mentally and financially for the rest of my life but I don't have people to discuss it with b/c no one knows!

Everyone close to me thinks I am a waitress/beer tub girl at a strip club. When people I've just met ask what I do I give them the name of a restaurant in the area and say I waitress there.. If I can avoid the lie altogether I do, but "what do you do" is everyone's favorite question. You never realize how often you get asked that until you have to lie about it! Sometimes I just say student, but letting people think mommy and daddy pay my bills is almost more painful then telling them Im a stripper! A friend who is a male stripper has fun with it and when people asks he replies like "trash collector" and stuff like that..

It is hard to lie to people about what we do. It would be so nice if there was no judgement and it didn't matter but that's not how it is so, we lie. But hey, we make a lot of money! :)

Paris
03-06-2009, 04:34 PM
I used to make a game out of the "what do you do?" question. Depending on what the circumstances were, I'd make stuff up to fit the situation. In family gatherings I'd say I sold Amway (They never, ever ask again, LOL!) or if I'm out with friends of friends, I may just say "I'm a stripper" in a way that makes people think I'm kidding. ("you should see my feather boa and tassel collection!")

Even working as an agent for a strip-o-gram company, I have to watch who I tell what. I mostly just tell new acquaintances that I'm a student. I'm 39, so no one thinks I'm mooching off the 'rents.

Christyismyalias
03-06-2009, 06:50 PM
Apart from the two friends and my mom who know what I do, I tell everyone else that I do alcohol promotions. I don't know if they're common in your area, but I'm talking about the sort of event where girls wear cute coordinated outfits and go to races/bars/nightclubs to promote Budweiser/Jager/Grey Goose and hand out promo materials/samples. I tell them I work from San Francisco to Bakersfield which is why I'm often out of town (so they won't try to come visit me) and it makes sense why I'm always busy on weekend nights. So far, no one's challenged it's plausibility too much. You could always use something along these lines and say are working as a manager for one of these companies and have to travel to oversee the events and girls.


thats a great idea

Chgojoe
03-06-2009, 09:28 PM
I'm having a little trouble keeping this work a secret from nosy curious people. I havent told hardly anyone I work in a SC except my family who consistently question me.

None of my coworkers know I work in a SC for ladies.. I did however tell one girl I work at an exclusive gents club behind the bar.. now she has told most of her coworkers what I do.

I figured this would be an effective decoy because the club is very expensive and has like a $20 cover charge so chances are they wouldn't go wandering in there to discover I'm not working there.

Theres no way I'm telling any coworker I'm a semi nude waiter. That would spread gossip like wildfire. I just feel uncomfortable when I have to lie all the time and because I live in a small-medium city it makes it harder to do.

Some workers have no life and will make an excuse just to drop by at your second job just to see you. I have no intention of leaving this industry anytime soon...

So how do you manage to keep this job a secret? its a good thing I'm a pretty private individual with a limited social circle.. so noone knows what I do except on SW of course.


You are constantly going on here about the club that you say you work at, the club that you say that you patronize, what you claim is your real job, and you have a pic on your avatar that you say is of you. If there is truth to what you are saying then you don't seem to be trying too hard to maintain your annonomity. Just who are these nosy curious people who are so fascinated by your secret life, and why are they so curious? If your family knows, what are they constantly asking you, and why? These co workers of yours that have nothing better to do than come to your second job even though they don't know what you do, are they men, ladies, or both? Are they wanting to see you outside of your regular job in an effort to pursue you sexually, or for your personality?

StripperDudePA
03-10-2009, 08:47 AM
Inevitably, despite all precautions, it will become known.

MSNYC
03-14-2009, 04:11 PM
More importantly, I'm wondering why you all (and me) need to keep it a secret in certain social circles? Some of you have told very very few people, some have told lots, and I'm probably somewhere in between. I'd love to hear the various reasons - i.e. people thinking you're slutty/dirty, people thinking you have tons of money, people thinking you're undateable, parents wanting to kill you, losing another job, etc. - that we consider this an important thing to keep secret.

Phil-W
03-15-2009, 12:14 PM
I'm obviously not a dancer, but I do count several dancers as friends outside of work. I'd never tell anyone what they do because:

(a) It's their decision as to who they let know what they do - not mine
(b) People are judgmental about dancing
(c) The fact that they're dancers is about the least important reason why I like them

For myself personally:

(a) My parents are very straight laced - and what they don't know can't hurt them
(b) I don't want idiot questions about what its like to have a friend who's a dancer - if you don't know, you can't ask

Phil.

LeTigre744
03-15-2009, 02:57 PM
the only person i'm really keeping it a secret from is my dad. (my grandparents too i guess, but they live on the other side of the country so it's NOT hard) my dad and sisters live 2 hours away and my sisters know, but they would never tell him. my mom lives 2 hours in the opposite direction and she figured it out all by herself!!! :-\ but she's pretty cool with it.
as for meeting new people... if we're chatting it up and they ask what i do, i'll tell them straight up, because anyone who's gonna be judgemental or weird about it, i don't want as a friend. i don't even want to waste any more of my time being around them.
usually they tend to just be interested and ask me a couple more questions about the job, which i'm more than happy to answer. (do you like it? are the other girls bitches? do you get to pick your own music? do you get a paycheck? etc) as long as i feel like i'm having a conversation and not just playing 20 questions :P
either that or i just get the blank stare and akward silence. :-[

head turner
03-15-2009, 05:42 PM
Inevitably, despite all precautions, it will become known.


this is pretty much the truth. You are simply a waiter and you are being morally hung out to dry.

If I were you I would say nothing about having a second job, then you have nothing to lie about.

zeke
03-20-2009, 06:34 PM
eventually u r screwed.....my sis got away with it for 1 year then boom busted by a coworker visiting the club.

Victoryx0x0
03-20-2009, 07:13 PM
why keep it a secret. unless ur ashamed? if ur ashamed u prob shudnt dance then

Christyismyalias
03-20-2009, 11:36 PM
^^^ To protect your family.

Not everyone can handle their little baby getting naked for random people every night.. you do it out of respect.

In my case anyway. It's not about being ashamed, it's about protecting my family's feelings.

Otoki
03-21-2009, 12:11 AM
This is the one thing that makes me mad as a stripper. I'm very proud of my courage to pursue something that I wanted to do and also my desire to study and learn about different things in this world. Plus, being a stripper makes you deal with the real world in a way very few other professions can and in a way that can prepare you for anything. But I can't tell anyone about my happiness or accomplishments. ;_;

Sorry for my mini rant, it just bums me out severely
I feel that way too. Most people my age know what I do. Most of my family, however, does not, and that sucks But I know that if I tell my parents now, they'll worry constantly. If I tell them after the fact, they don't have anything current to worry about.

patchouli
03-21-2009, 01:05 PM
^^^ To protect your family.

Not everyone can handle their little baby getting naked for random people every night.. you do it out of respect.

In my case anyway. It's not about being ashamed, it's about protecting my family's feelings.

What about the feelings of the dancer? They may not be able to handle the pressure they put on themselves to keep a secret. I think I'd rather live free and honest than in secrecy.

Christyismyalias
03-21-2009, 11:25 PM
I agree it is a lot of pressure and a lot of lying. And it's hard. If they can't handle it then they tell their family. Every situation is different. I respect your choice to be honest and open and I'm jealous that you have a family more understanding than my own.
My family would probably disown me, and I love them too much to let that happen. Maybe it's selfish, but it's my choice :) I want my family and my money too :)

Cappii
03-22-2009, 03:05 PM
In essence, I can see all sides of the coins here. I realize that some families are very conservative, and them knowing that you were stripping could cause some unnecessary conflicts. However, a lot of parents may be a lot more understanding than you give them credit for, especially in our current economy. I, personally, would be proud to tell people that I was a stripper, as even though some may look down their nose at you, others are really impressed and you end up getting compliments on your body for it. The ones that look down their nose at you... well, it's not like you're really going to care what they think anyway if they think they're better than you.

The truth is more interesting than a good lie any day.

Femtex23
03-27-2009, 02:59 AM
I used to have a hard time explaining where all my money came from. I just said that I was waitressing or bartending in a strip club, but I always lied about the one I was really working at in case anyone showed up unannounced. I hated it that I had to explain myself, but when money wasn't a problem, and my credit cards got paid off and I wasn't stressing about bills anymore, people like my mother could tell the difference...I think she always suspected the truth, but three years later, I've still never come off it that I "used to just waitress" so she's quit wondering finally.

Now, times have changed and I have to go back to dancing. I just decided the best thing to do was keep a "legit" job on the side that has similar earnings potential, like cocktailing at an upscale bar. During the day, I plan to dance so that being seen by ex-coworkers and friends is not as likely. This way, I don't have to mention dancing at all, therefore, I don't technically have to lie about it, unless you consider silent omission a lie...lol.

Fancy Chocolate
05-03-2009, 06:53 PM
How do you keep it a secret? Tell no one. That way nobody else knows but you.

Well said::)