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View Full Version : first time post, any advice



gixxerk3
03-07-2009, 07:24 PM
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Harlow
03-07-2009, 08:25 PM
I must congratulate you for being so open about such a painful and confusing subject. I'm curious,was there more passion between you in the beginning of the relationship. Now of course it is natural for passion to wane to some degree after the years,but after 8 months? She may have past abuse issues or she may have some hormonal or other health issues that effect her libido-is she on any kind of anti-depressant.

I don't expect you to answer these questions,but these are questions you need to answer for yourself. You are only 27 years old;of course it's up to you,but I think it's a bit too young to give up on having a fulfilling sex life with someone you love.

I can relate to your situation in a way. From 1997-2000,I had a long distance relationship with a beatiful guy in London. The first night we were together we had this amazing marathon sexually. The next time we had sex was quite unremarkable and after that NOTHING AT ALL. I had to except over time that he was on drugs that heavily diminished his libido .

Despite the fact,we were soul mates in every other way because of his lack of interest in me physically,I had to cut him loose. About a year later he wrote me a very heartfelt letter saying how uch he loved me,etc,etc. And I'm sure if you and your lady friend parted ways,she would certainly have an irreplacable void in her life. But you need to think of what's best for you. Have you told her that you need more attention,affection,etc from her. I think you guys still have a possibility to work things out,but you need to be at least as honest with her as you were with us. Warmest Wishes,Harlow

gixxerk3
03-07-2009, 11:46 PM
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SteveSmith
03-08-2009, 07:32 AM
One reason for the lack of affection could be because she's a dancer. Sometimes her customers may suck the life out of her, so to speak, and she doesn't feel like being physical with you after being drained at work.

After being touched a lot by customers, she may not feel like being touched by you. Since she pleasures herself, it doesn't sound like a libido problem, it sounds like being touched is the problem.

Everyone needs a little challenge and you have to make her chase you a little. Act a little more disinterested in her and play a little hard to get. Don't always be at her beck and call. Stop being the nice guy, you're boring her to tears. Maybe a challenge is what she needs to increase her desire for you.

Another possibility is that she doesn't love you as much as you think. If you're truly in love with someone, especially in the early phase of the relationship, you want to be physical with them often.

Vodka Keeps Me Sane
03-08-2009, 09:11 AM
You say that she takes drugs 1-2 times a month? Do you know this to be fact? I'd find out just how often it really is, because there is a HUGE possibility that it could be more than 1-2 times a month. And that right there could really screw with someone's libido.

It sounds like you are a really nice guy, and we do love nice guys. But there are some girls who don't want a guy who is going to ask "how high?" Everytime we tell him to jump. I agree with Steve, pull away a little. Don't be a dick or anything, just maybe turn the tables on her slightly.

SteveSmith
03-08-2009, 10:48 AM
You say that she takes drugs 1-2 times a month? Do you know this to be fact? I'd find out just how often it really is, because there is a HUGE possibility that it could be more than 1-2 times a month. And that right there could really screw with someone's libido.

It sounds like you are a really nice guy, and we do love nice guys. But there are some girls who don't want a guy who is going to ask "how high?" Everytime we tell him to jump. I agree with Steve, pull away a little. Don't be a dick or anything, just maybe turn the tables on her slightly.


He says that she pleasures herself so it might not be her libido.

Vodka Keeps Me Sane, I love your name, it's hilarious and original. :D