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DaniMBSC
03-12-2009, 09:39 PM
My Hubby has been burned by his exs and is insecure about me being a dancer even though I've been in the business for a year and never cheated on him. How can I get it through to him that nothing is going on that shouldn't be going on?

DeeJayOz
03-13-2009, 05:25 AM
Bring him down to the club on one of your days off, and show him what it's like.

DaniMBSC
03-13-2009, 01:10 PM
Better yet, what I always used to have girls with similar problems do is send him by himself when you aren't there (so long as yours is a strict no extras club) and have him buy a lap dance. This is a sure way to get him to see the reality of what really goes on. Good luck!
We go in together and I've bought him lap dances. He's still bitchy about it. Strip clubs aren't his scene.

Sierra333
03-16-2009, 08:02 PM
Greetings,

One of the things I have always found most helpful to say to a man who is insecure to understand that indeed you are loyal to them. Of all the things the men who come into the club promise to us, to all the gifts they make us, all the money they give us -- remind your hubby that indeed, even after all of that - you come home to him every night. Some of the guys who come to see you dance may be cuter and more attractive than him. Still you come home to him. Some of them may be more financially secure than him. Still you come home to him. Some of them may be more well known and famous than him; yet still you come home to him. Some of them may even be more than one of these together and yet you still always come home to him. Remind him that you meet hundreds of men a week and still always you choose him above any of them. Have him think about that for a while. Knowing that alone about you should help him out a bit.

Next let him know that it is easier for a man to get "lucky" in a traditional bar with a woman than in a SC. Let him know that he should be more worried about a "work romance" occurring if you worked in an office -- for it is far more common than dancers falling for a customer. Since the number of single dancers getting serious with customers is low already, the amount of involved dancers that cheat on their mates are even much lower. In fact, I don't think I know of any of them that do cheat on their hubby's.

Hopefully that all may help you out a bit...

Minaya ---

verfolgung
03-17-2009, 10:29 AM
My Hubby has been burned by his exs and is insecure about me being a dancer even though I've been in the business for a year and never cheated on him. How can I get it through to him that nothing is going on that shouldn't be going on?


You're married and you've only been in the business for one year. Were you married before or after you started dancing? How long have you known each other?

It sounds to me like he has emotional scars that only time and the realization that you are not the same as his exs will heal.

The best thing I can suggest is to keep the lines of communication open. If he hears the honest truth from you, he won't have to let his imagination go and create issues that aren't there.

Some things to keep is mind are customer communication and customer gifts, and how you decide to handle those issues.

Miaowren
03-19-2009, 02:16 PM
There is nothing you can do. This is his problem. Besides not cheating on him what more can you do for him to be able to believe you're not cheating on him??

Seriously, this is a bad road to go down. Your obligations end at being faithful - the rest of it is up to him.
(You know what I mean?)

princessjas
03-19-2009, 06:31 PM
I don't think you can do anything to make someone trust you. Once you've put in the time it generally takes to earn trust, well, that's all you can do. They either trust you or they don't.

Personally, I would be incredibly offended if my guy didn't trust me. Besides, it is going to be REALLY tough to make a marriage work long-term without trust.

icey
03-23-2009, 11:29 AM
My hubby was like that too when I dance. I took him to the club gave him a lab dance and he was still like that. So I told him, either deal with it or leave. I let him know I was doing nothing wrong, but if he can't trust me then we don't have a relationship. After that he was much much better.

26seconds
04-17-2009, 03:10 PM
Well...I went through several "what if's before my wife started dancing...from getting raped in the parking lot all the way to running off with the Guy with the wad of cash. I just talked to her about my fears. I did not preach to her. And she assured me that my fears were irrational. She listened to me when I told her everything I was afraid of. It's a good thing too because without that respect she gave me about my fears I wouldn't have been so open to her work. Now...when I go to the club and I see her dance...It's like some kind of foreplay that spices up our marriage. I will leave it at that. But I wouldn't feel that way today if I didn't take the time to talk to her and if she didn't take the time to listen respectfully to my fears. Hope this helps.