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FBR
03-17-2009, 05:18 PM
But isn't there a truism that strippers laugh at nice guys and hold them in disdain but love assholes? Maybe there is method to his madness ;)

FBR

hockeybobby
03-17-2009, 06:16 PM
You may be onto something there FBR.

Golden_Rule
03-17-2009, 08:17 PM
But isn't there a truism that strippers laugh at nice guys and hold them in disdain but love assholes? Maybe there is method to his madness ;)

FBR

Not all, but many, young women have a soft spot for bad boys and see nice guys as undatable material. I've never pretended to understand it.

When I was much younger I was a clean cut nice guy to a fault. I dated but never got any major play. I tarted up. Grew a porno mustache [it was the late70s]. Strapped a Harley between my knees and still treated women decent, just not nice. I stopped being available [the most important change], opening doors, and insisting to pay for everything all the time, stuff like that. I treated them pretty much the way I treated my male friends and not as someone "special" simply by virtue of their gender. I added a bit more confidence to the mix and all of a sudden I had as many dates as I wanted.

It has to be something about young women because as I, and they, got older more and more of them wanted someone who was actually ready to be a companion and not a bad boy to convert into a puppy [which isn't happening]. They began to appreciate it more if I went out of my way to be chivalrous, particularly polite, or offered to pick up the check and they showed it.

That's why I much prefer women around my own age. Young'uns may be very attractive but too many of them don't know up from down where men are concerned. [sorry... just my opinion]

chris91
03-18-2009, 12:18 AM
"Nice" is code for insecure, manipulative, passive aggressive, pathetic, spineless, and clingy. "Nice guys" are the same as assholes, but they do things in a different way and are more transparent.

That's why we sometimes end up with assholes in an attempt to find someone who is genuinely caring, confident, honest, and independent. Assholes are better at tricking us.

Cat2008
03-18-2009, 06:17 AM
"Nice" is code for insecure, manipulative, passive aggressive, pathetic, spineless, and clingy.

This is an excellent description!
I personally think that being truly nice is one of most sexual traits man can have when is it comes from a strong person. Most of the times "nice" used to cover up lack of personality

charlie61
03-18-2009, 01:47 PM
I like Chris' description--I meet so many guys who are "nice guys"...which is SOOOO unattractive. The real people out there are the ones who aren't "nice" all of the time--aka "good" guys... I don't want someone who is overly romantic, bows down to my every 'need,' will do 'anything' for me, etc. Bleh!

Coming from someone who has dated a "bad" guy, but generally dates "good" guys, I find that the attraction came from the glimpses of good you see in the bad boy. There's something intriguing about people who take a little bit of work to open up. There's a sense of accomplishment whenever you succeed in getting bad boys to open up to you. These tend to be love/hate relationships, but they can be fairly addicting. Like swinging on the monkey bars-- each good interacton holds you out until the next one. Obviously this isn't good for longevity--but hey: I learned a hell of a lot from that relationship, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. Good experience to have. Made me realize what I DO want.

Most women want good guys who have a little bit of an edge to them. Nice is boring. Good, on the other hand, is stable, self-sufficient, confident, etc.

stressed
03-18-2009, 02:20 PM
damn you people are confusing!!!/:O

Asshole=bad
Nice=asshole

Bad boy that will probably fuck you over unless you can bring the good out of him if indeed he has any in the first place------------Well Damn that right there is dating material.:O

:idea::idea:

lets turn it around---when we go into a stripclub.

Asshole stripper----yeah thats pretty much bad
Nice stripper-----All stripper shit and oh so transparent.;)

Bad stripper that will fuck us over unless we can convince her that she actually is a good person and wants to be with us-----------Woohoo thats what turns us on!!!!!


okay you all got a point!

Cat2008
03-18-2009, 03:07 PM
^^I thought all strippers by definition are bad)

Turning things around, I will not believe that you would be seriously in love with someone who does exactly what you or anybody else want. Not because she would want alway the same thing that you like but because she is insecure and afraid to be assertive. You'll get bored soon. Although as a companion she would be probably perfect for you.

Speaking of strip clubs I myself giving impression of being "nice". Well, half of the time this impression come from the fact that I keep my mouth shut on things with which i disagree, so it will not screw up my money. "Nice" can be deceiving. With asshole stripper you know honest truth about yourself. Give her credit for that!

stressed
03-18-2009, 04:16 PM
Turning things around, I will not believe that you would be seriously in love with someone who does exactly what you or anybody else want. Not because she would want alway the same thing that you like but because she is insecure and afraid to be assertive. You'll get bored soon.
Amen sista



Although as a companion she would be probably perfect for you.
You would think---but i like a woman that looks me in the eye and says you are dead ass wrong on this one and i am not backing down. Especially when i am wrong---Yeah ever once in a while that happens.;) There is nothing worse than someone that has given up their own will for someone else. If your BF/GF does that to you then i do not believe they love you in the first place.

Also when i say give up your will----i mean all of it. I realize that a strong relationship starts with both partners giving to each other---but when one side is blatantly abusing it----then thats different.

commanderadama
03-18-2009, 04:56 PM
Lots of people like a challenge. I totally agree so called nice guys are not. Most are usually sociopaths who revel in being the victim, poor me BS blah blah. These are the same guys who say it's hard to get laid, no it isn't, simple formula, lower your standards, smile. :D

For me, if you're over a size 4 or a b cup, I'm not interested outside a strip club. When I'm in a strip club I'm not even considering anything over a size 2. So my only pet peeve when in a Strip Club are the pushy over size 2 "wanna dance" girls. If I'm obviously avoiding eye contact why would they think I wanna dance? Then I say NO, so as not to waste their time and they come back? WTF? :O

Being a stripper or a waitress are rough jobs, but in the right place they can be very lucrative. Women in these jobs get hit on ALL the time, usually once per shift. But I stick by my post, it's no harder hanging out with a stripper than a waitress. (both are very hard, but if you're cool it can be done.)

Personally, I think Jack should try and find himself an Eastern European Bride. }:D

msincredible01
03-18-2009, 05:30 PM
I second the mail order bride idea.

I have nothing (nice) to say to you wanting to find specifically a stripper as a gf. We get hit up by guys like you ALL the TIME.

Little side fact- I didn't meet my bf at the club...he never goes to strip clubs...only went twice for bachlor partys. He was a total asshole to me. Complete asshole. Looks like a bad boy guy too, tattoos crazy hair (all very sexyy ofcourse) then i got him to crack open...he got me to crack open and he's the NICEST guy i've ever met. Ever. So assholes can be nice guys. the best kind of nice guys. :) oh yea and "bad boys" fcuk better ;)

msincredible01
03-18-2009, 05:32 PM
LoL...get tattoos and piercings and quit ur job. You'll attract us like a magnet.

FBR
03-18-2009, 05:41 PM
Assholes are better at tricking us.

Six words that speak volumes. You nailed it, chris.

FBR

chris91
03-18-2009, 06:49 PM
Personally, I think Jack should try and find himself an Eastern European Bride. }:D

Jack, this is the best advice yet. If you're looking for a girl who who will listen to you whine about your past relationships and stroke your ego all day, then a mail order bride would be the holy grail, as they are on the clock 24 hours a day.

I mean, do you really those two strippers you met would treat their boyfriends the same way they treated you? Of course not. We put up with all kinds of crap in the club that we would never ever put up with in real life. That includes excessive neediness.

fortune33
03-18-2009, 07:06 PM
I'm still new at this but I wouldn't date a guy who frequented the club...Ever. Not seriously anyway...Maybe for the money if I also enjoyed his company, but never the L-word! *shudder*

Though, a guy I was seeing before I started dancing sort of disappeared on me for a while...I thought it was over, for that reason only when he asked to hang out after a few weeks of no contact I told him I was busy with my new job, and told him the name of club I worked at.

He came in that night, looked INCREDIBLY uncomfortable the entire time and said over and over he's not the kind of man that goes to strip clubs, but he wanted another chance with me and that's why he came in. His discomfort was possibly the biggest turn-on ever, only because I knew it was genuine and just plain adorable...he wore it well. Probably isn't going to work though just because I don't think he has it in him to not get jealous, and I need the $$$ more than the man!

Moral to my anecdote....You're probably SOL.

fortune33
03-18-2009, 07:09 PM
So...I guess my take for the nice guy v.s. asshole thing...The assholes get play for a while but then I get sick of it. The nice guys win me over every time. I'm aware that's rare, but I don't think it should be!

Ruby Ruckus
03-18-2009, 09:27 PM
most guys are nice guys, and most guys are assholes. there's two sides to every coin. i just feel like guys that insist and feel the need to prove that they're nice guys generally aren't. plus the phrase is usually combined with some sort of complaint. "why won't you date me, i'm a nice guy." it's a guilt trip clause.

if you're a nice guy, i will figure it out. you don't have to tell me. if you're an asshole, i'll figure that out too. if you are both, which is probable, i can understand that. but let me decide for myself what you are and what you aren't.

charlie61
03-18-2009, 09:34 PM
Lots of people like a challenge. I totally agree so called nice guys are not. Most are usually sociopaths who revel in being the victim, poor me BS blah blah.


Exactly. I've met soooo many of these people, it's not even funny.

Lurker
03-20-2009, 09:36 AM
To summarize: a significant plurality of dancers date customers. The chance that any individual customer will date a dancer is extremely low. The subset of customers most likely to do so are big spenders who are polite, good looking, and intelligent/funny.

shasta
03-20-2009, 11:31 AM
I agree will most everyone, but...
If you are interested, do not buy dances from her! Pay her for her time because that is considerate. Pay her what ever the dances cost, but just talk to her and keep your hands to yourself. If there is a real connection and she in single, she might. If you really want to date someone, paying them to work hard to be your sexual object is not the right path.

bigbangburrito
03-20-2009, 12:53 PM
deleted

Phil-W
03-20-2009, 03:17 PM
I'd say us dancers are brilliant people readers. We have interacted with hundreds and thousands of males. With each, we act like we are on a date. It's like we have had the experience of dating thousands of guys. We have heard all the lines. We know how to read your body language and how to fake ours. We act and pretend. You will think we really like you, want to date you or f*ck you. Don't believe it, we are just acting out your fantasy for you. You think women play games? Strippers are the best at it.

Yay - truth.

I've been interested in body language for 30 years, and I've always found non-verbal communication in SC's absolutely fascinating.

Dancers give off an almost caricatured version of flirtation/attraction signals and the great majority of guys fall for them uncritically. It's very much a case of behaving like the stereotypical dancer in order to maximize earnings.

And in response you see guys responding to the manufactured flirtation signals with more genuine ones of their own. I suspect it's this response that allows the more perceptive dancers to maximize their success rate in asking for dances.

Knowing body language as I do, I'm afraid I find SC's more amusing than arousing - but I suspect 95% of men walking in suspend their critical facilities.

Phil.

And as a PS to this, I've sometimes taught dancers about body language - and even I have been surprised about how rapidly men respond to a change in a dancers 'signals'.

Golden_Rule
03-20-2009, 03:19 PM
I personally think that being truly nice is one of most sexual traits man can have when is it comes from a strong person. Most of the times "nice" used to cover up lack of personality

Most of the women I know who have figured that out are a good sprint past 30. Which was the point above and why I prefer, for serious relationships, woman that age or older.

Golden_Rule
03-20-2009, 03:25 PM
Coming from someone who has dated a "bad" guy, but generally dates "good" guys, I find that the attraction came from the glimpses of good you see in the bad boy.

You see though, Charlie, that sounds like a young woman talking to me. :)

What you might find later on is that it isn't a glimpse you need to see. You need to see that at the core he is a good man. He can have a rough, or "interesting" exterior, but inside he has the things that are going to make him a good, long term, companion.

80%'ers I call people like myself [as a take off on the 1%'er biker thing]. Only 20% bad ass, and the other 80% is someone you could take home to mother. :)

[BTW, I appreciate the same in a woman... A little bad ass is a good thing if you don't have to deal with it 24/7/365 :) ]

charlie61
03-20-2009, 05:01 PM
^^ Trust me, the bad boy was an experimental phase I went through. Dated him for about a year, and I never did anything with him beyond kissing. I knew not to commit myself physically or emotionally to someone like that! It was fun for awhile, but I soon got sick of it and ended the relationship.

Been there, done that.

hockeybobby
03-20-2009, 05:14 PM
I think you can bag a hot stripper if you tow one of these things around...like, they can't resist it:

http://www.webwiseforradio.com/site_files/206/Image/pole_riders1_copy.jpg

jack0177057
03-23-2009, 07:33 AM
Jack, this is the best advice yet. If you're looking for a girl who who will listen to you whine about your past relationships and stroke your ego all day, then a mail order bride would be the holy grail, as they are on the clock 24 hours a day.

I mean, do you really those two strippers you met would treat their boyfriends the same way they treated you? Of course not. We put up with all kinds of crap in the club that we would never ever put up with in real life. That includes excessive neediness.

I don't want a girl who will stroke my ego 24/7, but I don't want a woman who will kick my ego 24/7, especially when I'm supporting her.

Would you want a boyfriend who is constantly putting you down for being a stripper... even though you are supporting him?

jack0177057
03-23-2009, 08:38 AM
Your second mistake, is to presume that being a dancer somehow makes one different than simply being a women.

I get your point... But, if I said I wanted to date, for example, a nurse, lawyer, doctor or teacher, no one would be surprised or offended or regard my preferences as creepy. I've dated women in these professions and... although they are all women... their career choices are to some extent indicative of the kind of personality they have... Generally speaking, lawyers and doctors are very educated, assertive and ambitious... but can be downright boring. I don't want to spend an entire date debating legal issues or discussing the origins of some rare and exotic disease. The teacher I dated loved her young students and couldn't stop talking about them. Eventually, I got a little bored with her, too. The nurse was my hottest girlfriend. She took very good care of me and looked so hot in that little nurse outfit I got her... I didn't mind that she occasionally flirted with the doctors, but when she slept with one of them (a married man whom she had been having an affair with before we met), that was my clue that it was time to move on...

So, why do I want to date an intellectual feminist stripper? Maybe for the same reason that women like bad boys... (1) I get bored with "nice" girls and (2) sometimes the "nice" girls end up being bigger assholes than the "bad" girls.

I have followed a conventional life... studied and worked hard... earned a very decent salary... married a beautiful and "respectable" upper middle class woman ... and I have found no fulfillment in this. (I don't blame her.) I want a woman who is different than the women I have dated in the past... Her way of looking at things should be fresh... She must be independent, free-spirited, confident, have an open mind... and a sense of adventure. She will have a hard and cynical exterior, but a soft interior. She should be a challenge... but offer a reward for completing the challenge. She will be wild - but in a good way.

Anyway, it won't break my heart if I never date a stripper... (I did date a woman who had a short stint as a stripper five years before we met.) It is just frustrating that I cannot find what I am looking for, and I thought about trying something new. I was just curious about the idea and thought this forum would be a good place to explore it... The responses have been very discouraging... I get the feeling that you dancers believe that no respectable guy would want to date a dancer... and that any guy who even thinks about dating a dancer must be a real creep...

charlie61
03-23-2009, 11:19 AM
I get your point... But, if I said I wanted to date, for example, a nurse, lawyer, doctor or teacher, no one would be surprised or offended or regard my preferences as creepy. I've dated women in these professions and... although they are all women... their career choices are to some extent indicative of the kind of personality they have... Generally speaking, lawyers and doctors are very educated, assertive and ambitious... but can be downright boring. I don't want to spend an entire date debating legal issues or discussing the origins of some rare and exotic disease. The teacher I dated loved her young students and couldn't stop talking about them. Eventually, I got a little bored with her, too. The nurse was my hottest girlfriend. She took very good care of me and looked so hot in that little nurse outfit I got her... I didn't mind that she occasionally flirted with the doctors, but when she slept with one of them (a married man whom she had been having an affair with before we met), that was my clue that it was time to move on...

So, why do I want to date an intellectual feminist stripper? Maybe for the same reason that women like bad boys... (1) I get bored with "nice" girls and (2) sometimes the "nice" girls end up being bigger assholes than the "bad" girls.

I have followed a conventional life... studied and worked hard... earned a very decent salary... married a beautiful and "respectable" upper middle class woman ... and I have found no fulfillment in this. (I don't blame her.) I want a woman who is different than the women I have dated in the past... Her way of looking at things should be fresh... She must be independent, free-spirited, confident, have an open mind... and a sense of adventure. She will have a hard and cynical exterior, but a soft interior. She should be a challenge... but offer a reward for completing the challenge. She will be wild - but in a good way.

Anyway, it won't break my heart if I never date a stripper... (I did date a woman who had a short stint as a stripper five years before we met.) It is just frustrating that I cannot find what I am looking for, and I thought about trying something new. I was just curious about the idea and thought this forum would be a good place to explore it... The responses have been very discouraging... I get the feeling that you dancers believe that no respectable guy would want to date a dancer... and that any guy who even thinks about dating a dancer must be a real creep...

I understand what you're trying to say. However...

1) I think it would be equally creepy if you showed up to your doctor's appointment and were trying to hit on the nurses because you want to date a nurse. I can't really think of any job where this wouldn't be creepy. "Oh yeah...I want to date a nurse because they'll take care of me." See what I'm saying? It's weird with any profession.

2) This board is the WORST place you could come to and say "so...I want to date a dancer." At our jobs, all we deal with is people like you. In this industry, you are the ultimate cliche (I'm not just being mean...it's true). Every person I talk to tries to pick me up and date me. So naturally, you're not going to get a warm reception on this board.

3) We also have reason to be defensive because you're presuming that dancers have a certain kind of personality. Trust me, there are adventurous, exhibitionistic women working out there as librarians right now. In real life, I'm completely different from how I am at work: I'm conservative and extremely quiet I certainly don't give my SO lap dances or anything. And I think most strippers put on a persona at work also. So trying to find your true love in a strip club is fairly unrealistic.

4) If you can't find someone with all the traits you desire in a person you don't pick up in a strip club, then you're doing something wrong. People are diverse. If you look hard enough, you'll find someone.

Does that make sense? I'm really not being facetious. I hear what you're saying. But try to see it from our point of view...

Stripper Hacks
03-23-2009, 11:40 AM
I've only dated one customer and we've been together for six months.

It's usually up to the dancer but there are a few things that the guy can do. He was not a regular and I'd only seen him a few times in the club.

If a guys objective is to DATE A STRIPPER (http://askastripper.blogspot.com/2009/01/exotic-dancers-dating-and-strip-clubs.html) there is not much that he can do directly. He may have a favorable outcome of seeing her outside the club once or twice but not much else.

It's up to the girl. Just like it usually is outside of the clubs.

Phil-W
03-23-2009, 12:03 PM
Jack,

I think you've got an unusually bad case of 'date the dancer' syndrome. A large percentage of guys who walk into strip clubs suffer from it. I asked a dancer I know to keep tabs once. She got asked for a date 85 times in one week. Just ask Charlie...


Every person I talk to tries to pick me up and date me.


It is just frustrating that I cannot find what I am looking for.

What are you looking for? Because I'll give you very good odds indeed that the dancer you meet at work will be totally different from the person you meet outside of work. They put on a 'work personality' at the same time they put their costume on. What you see in the SC is the persona the dancer thinks will maximize her earnings.

I can't emphasize enough how ordinary and normal most dancers are outside of work. They don't go around being raunchy, they don't go around in ultra-revealing clothing, they don't talk about how hot and horny they get from dancing.


So, why do I want to date an intellectual feminist stripper? Maybe for the same reason that women like bad boys... (1) I get bored with "nice" girls and (2) sometimes the "nice" girls end up being bigger assholes than the "bad" girls.

So what makes you think she's not going to be a 'nice' girl outside of work? From my experience of dancers OTC, most are perfectly normal (and generally very pleasant) girls whose only unconventional trait is that they take their clothes off to earn a living.

You're chasing an illusion, my friend....

Phil.

SteveSmith
03-23-2009, 12:21 PM
Where are you getting these numbers from? Even if you polygraph tested 100 strippers and found that 30 of them had dated customers, it wouldn't be a big enough sample to represent all of the strippers in the world or even the usa.

Also, I don't think having a mad crush counts as a willingness to date customers. I've had many crushes that I never followed through on, because I knew it was a bad idea.

That was just an educated guess. The dating/hook-ups/crushes are separate entities. One does not lead to another.

I was talking about the dancer's dating/hook-ups/crushes and the guys that she might be attracted to (I didn't mean every bum that walks through the door).

I think that crushes are common (as you descibed in your post). It's way more common for the customer to have a crush on a dancer, though, but dancers have them too. So, once in a while, a dancer may really like a customer (crush) but she may never act on it for many reasons.

haro231
03-23-2009, 12:22 PM
can someone PM me and please tell me why women don't like "nice guys" and generally like "assholes", once and for all? or just post it here. it just seems counter-intuitive. do some women believe that a man is "keeping it real" by treating her poorly and objectifying her? or is it that women believe that if a man is treating them poorly he must have other women involved in his life and thus he has something going for him?

Blue_Dust_Bunny
03-23-2009, 12:28 PM
I have followed a conventional life... studied and worked hard... earned a very decent salary... married a beautiful and "respectable" upper middle class woman ... and I have found no fulfillment in this. (I don't blame her.) I want a woman who is different than the women I have dated in the past... Her way of looking at things should be fresh... She must be independent, free-spirited, confident, have an open mind... and a sense of adventure. She will have a hard and cynical exterior, but a soft interior. She should be a challenge... but offer a reward for completing the challenge. She will be wild - but in a good way.

Instead of chasing this dream girl in order to find fulfillment, why don't you change the conventional life that YOU are tired of. Go do something new and brave for yourself - like the Feminist Studies class idea mentioned earlier. Do you really think an "independent, free-spirited, confident" stripper is going to think that she is compatible with you just because you asked her? And do you really think that your life will become less "conventional" and more fulfilling just because you are dating a women who JUST HAPPENS to be a dancer?

I understand what you are saying about strippers being special women - being a dancer is definitely something that only some ladies can do. But we are still normal women with feelings and tendencies no different from your teacher and lawyer dates.
Your girlfriend should be a girl that you care about and have a genuine connection with - no matter what career choices she has made. She shouldn't be a cure for your mid-life crisis.

jack0177057
03-23-2009, 01:18 PM
Wow... this has been very educational... :)
I am not going to go to a SC to find a GF... I will not be one of THOSE guys! ... You girls beat that into my head now [stars are spinning around my head]... and I see the light!
I guess there is no harm with having a fun little crush on my favorite dancer, as long as this is mutually beneficial (i.e., I spend money on her) and we both understand the difference between fantasy and reality...
Do any of you dance in Houston? ;)

Cat2008
03-23-2009, 01:28 PM
Instead of chasing this dream girl in order to find fulfillment, why don't you change the conventional life that YOU are tired of.
I totally agree on that. As I said before it is the biggest downfall (although understandable one) to look for a person to date in order to compensate lack of something in you. It is just rarely works out (with stripper or not) unless YOU have offer something to relationship.

As far as stripper being more independent and fun...Power or stereotypes should never be underestimated. I, in fact, do not put in different stripper persona, I just put on some goth-like outfit and dance to hard rock/alternative music. And such power of stereotypes that guy often fantasize about that kind of free-spirited and so forth person I am on their own, all I have to do is just to play along. Idea was already in their heads. But outside of club I also have boring respectable job and I am viewed as person who would never would do anything so crazy as dance, just because I have boring job and I am good at it. It is always good idea to avoid preconceived notions

jack0177057
03-23-2009, 01:30 PM
Your girlfriend should be a girl that you care about and have a genuine connection with - no matter what career choices she has made. She shouldn't be a cure for your mid-life crisis.

I'm 36 yoa. I'm not going through a "mid-life" crisis... but maybe I'm going through "mid-life" frustration and boredom... I want retire from my legal career, sell everything I have, move to Costa Rica or a tropical island and open up a bar/night club by the beach. :) I want a girl that gets this.

SteveSmith
03-23-2009, 02:09 PM
Jack,

I think you've got an unusually bad case of 'date the dancer' syndrome. A large percentage of guys who walk into strip clubs suffer from it. I asked a dancer I know to keep tabs once. She got asked for a date 85 times in one week. Just ask Charlie...

What are you looking for? Because I'll give you very good odds indeed that the dancer you meet at work will be totally different from the person you meet outside of work. They put on a 'work personality' at the same time they put their costume on. What you see in the SC is the persona the dancer thinks will maximize her earnings.

I can't emphasize enough how ordinary and normal most dancers are outside of work. They don't go around being raunchy, they don't go around in ultra-revealing clothing, they don't talk about how hot and horny they get from dancing.

So what makes you think she's not going to be a 'nice' girl outside of work? From my experience of dancers OTC, most are perfectly normal (and generally very pleasant) girls whose only unconventional trait is that they take their clothes off to earn a living.

You're chasing an illusion, my friend....

Phil.


There's something very erotic about what dancers do. Not the dancing by itself, but the exchange of money for said dancing. Even when a dancer is acting like Plain Jane OTC, she's still sexier to me because of what she does for a living.

A dancer's personality is the same ITC as OTC. If she's warm and friendly ITC, then she's warm and friendly OTC. If she's quite and conservative ITC, then she's the same OTC. Of course the dancer doesn't act like she's at work OTC.

In a way, seeing a dancer OTC is like seeing a teacher outside of school. It feels kind of weird seeing them outside of the work environment, but it's not that big of a deal.

Conclusion: Some guys think that dancers are sexier because of what they do, and that sexiness carries over to civilian life. The dancer doesn't ACT sexier OTC, she's just sexier because of what she does for a living.

Some women think that high powered men are sexier and may be attracted to them more than your average Joe. The man's sexiness follows him in civilian life, too. He's sexier to the woman for what he does, and that sexiness doesn't go away when he's home cutting the grass.

Some woman think that men who work with their hands (mechanics, artists, etc.) are really sexy. When the mechanic punches out at 5 o'clock, the woman still thinks he's hot for the job he's doing.

hockeybobby
03-23-2009, 04:17 PM
OP: You can change the woman....but it doesn't fix the problem.

Crow2
03-23-2009, 06:50 PM
[quote=commanderadama;1786866]I'm curious Jack, why would you want to date a stripper?
quote]

First of all, not just any stripper... I want someone like Elisabeth Eaves, who wrote Bare: The Nakes Truth About Stripping. She was a feminist and intellectual stripper who went on to become a journalist and author.
Or someone like Diablo Cody, whose many accomplishments include writing a book and writing the accademy award-winning movie Juno. There are a number of other strippers who have done notable things after stripping, but attribute their success to their experience as strippers. There was something about being a stripper that gave them a lot of power, confidence and insight into human psychology.

I want a woman who is beautiful, smart, positive, sexy and is dancing because she will not settle for a 9 to 5 job and because the flexibility of dancing allows her to pursue artistic or intellectual ambitions.

Oh for petes sake...

Yes, the internet is the place for that riiiiight..
Most of us are just normal people. Not that sort of super stripper you seem to be infatuated with.
Poor guy - you've got "mark" written all over your forehead. Then again, what do I know. I'm just another down to earth working slob.

You are going to spend a lot of money and have nothing, if not less to show for it. Would you date someone you work with, or met at your job? Really, think about it.

commanderadama
03-23-2009, 07:17 PM
I have followed a conventional life... studied and worked hard... earned a very decent salary... married a beautiful and "respectable" upper middle class woman ... and I have found no fulfillment in this. (I don't blame her.) I want a woman who is different than the women I have dated in the past... Her way of looking at things should be fresh... She must be independent, free-spirited, confident, have an open mind... and a sense of adventure. She will have a hard and cynical exterior, but a soft interior. She should be a challenge... but offer a reward for completing the challenge. She will be wild - but in a good way.

Anyway, it won't break my heart if I never date a stripper... (I did date a woman who had a short stint as a stripper five years before we met.) It is just frustrating that I cannot find what I am looking for, and I thought about trying something new. I was just curious about the idea and thought this forum would be a good place to explore it... The responses have been very discouraging... I get the feeling that you dancers believe that no respectable guy would want to date a dancer... and that any guy who even thinks about dating a dancer must be a real creep...

Jack, you need therapy. :D

princessjas
03-24-2009, 04:05 PM
It is terribly unflattering when men want to date a stripper. Why?? Because you don't really give a shit about us as individuals. Any hot stripper would do....we are completely interchangable to men like this. It's quiet irritating!

And OP: I've danced for over a decade and NEVER dated a customer. I would never under any circumstances date a guy I met in the club. Simply because I want to be seen and defined by something more than my job.

MarvelGirl
03-24-2009, 05:07 PM
can someone PM me and please tell me why women don't like "nice guys" and generally like "assholes", once and for all? or just post it here. it just seems counter-intuitive. do some women believe that a man is "keeping it real" by treating her poorly and objectifying her? or is it that women believe that if a man is treating them poorly he must have other women involved in his life and thus he has something going for him?


It's just a self defeating idea that "nice guys" have stuck in their heads. I, like many other women, DESPISE men who contantly refer to themselves as "nice".

Imagine hanging out with someone and having them constantly bring up one of their traits as the reason why you should be with them.

"I'm VERY attractive, you should really date me. I'm just sooooo attractive, that people sometimes are put off by it, because it's so unusual these days for someone to be as genuinely attractive as I am. Why do you date all those ugly people when you can have an EXTREMELY attractive person like me?"

When you substitute the word nice for attractive, it's still just as obnoxious and condescending. Nice people don't feel the need to tell everyone how nice they are, people will figure that out on their own.

charlie61
03-24-2009, 05:39 PM
^^ YES!!!!!

Cappii
03-24-2009, 06:06 PM
Wow. I think that most of you have stereotyped every person in every angle of every part of this equation...

Strippers = good, Strippers = bad. Strippers = Gold Diggers. Strippers = distant and cold. Strippers = liars. Strippers = misogynists Strippers = please, do I need to keep going when in the other breath you say "I am a normal woman".

No you're not normal. Normal is Mrs. John Smith, mother of 2 1/3 kids who play soccer and do gymnastics, goes to church twice a week if only to compare conservative fashions and mini-van colors, is a stay-at-home mom, and believes whatever her husband tells her when he comes home from his 9-5. Normal is mundane. Normal is boring. Normal sucks.

And Jack... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? You want to date a stripper? That is the most narrow minded bs I have heard in a long time. I understand the girls' thoughts of not dating guys that they meet in the club. FFS, they are there to work. When you are at work, you should be there to work. It is sort of annoying. Besides, if they are spending their time with you because you like them, they will not make money. If you can't make money as a stripper, you're not gonna be one for long. Aren't you shooting yourself in the foot there?

Now, I have to disagree with all of these "never say never" types of which I was one for a very long time. I have been proven wrong time and time again when I've said "I would never..." If everyone found their mate in the most ideal spots, what would be the point of dating? Just go to wherever it is that you would go, pick one out of a f*ing lineup and go home. You never know who is going to walk through that door. Fate has a way of bringing us together. If you are meant to be with someone, and you spend all of your time at work and home (which many of the strippers that I knew did since they had little time for much of anything else), fate will bring them to you in one place or the other... so what is creepier, meeting a guy where you work, or where you live?

jack0177057
03-24-2009, 06:12 PM
Jack, you need therapy. :D

Don't we all???

charlie61
03-24-2009, 06:35 PM
Cappii-- I think you might've missed the concept of the "normal" stripper that has been presented in this thread. Personally, I'm not trying to claim that I'm traditionally normal. My only point is that there is a severe divide between my work personality and my home personality, so trying to pick me up at work is pointless.

And it's the same as in many professions. Flight attendants, for example, also have to put on a certain personality while working (always happy, helpful, etc.). Same with teachers. Same with a hell of a lot of jobs. Stripping may be "out there," but many strippers leave their personalities at the door. Hence the point I think many of us were trying to make: trying to pick up strippers (while we're working) is a waste of time (in general).

I don't think many women on this board would claim that they're traditionally normal (2.5 kids, church on Sundays, etc.). Is anyone normal like this anymore?

To clarify: When I tell people I'm normal, I feel like it's true. I'm a good student. I'm generally extremely quiet. I'm family-oriented. This is what I mean when I say I'm "normal." When people try to pick me up at work ("Do you party a lot? Hey, wanna come back to my hotel after this?") I try to explain that I'm normal in the way that I am not who I appear to be at work. Does that make sense?

Blue_Dust_Bunny
03-24-2009, 06:35 PM
Don't we all???

hmm...

I've had two crushes actually...

I'm not a regular at a SC. I'll go maybe 10 to 12 times in a year... Mostly, when I am really depressed about a relationship. I don't believe in psychological analysis, so I seek my therapy at the SC.

But you might really want to start considering it outside of the club ^_^

jack0177057
03-24-2009, 06:43 PM
It is terribly unflattering when men want to date a stripper. Why?? Because you don't really give a shit about us as individuals. Any hot stripper would do....we are completely interchangable to men like this. It's quiet irritating!

Not me!... I made it clear that my standards are quite high... If I asked a stripper what she plans on doing in 5 years and she had no fucking clue... There is no way I would consider dating her regardless of how stunning her looks. Stripping is cute when you're young, but you better have AMBITION for the long term... You should be saving money to pay for college, go to art school, start a small business... etc. If you have no AMBITION, then you and I both agree about keeping the stripper/custie relationship strictly professional.

What I like about dancers: brave, confident, indepedent, smart, knowledgeable about human psychology, sexually liberated, open-minded, business-oriented... Add to this an intellectual or artistic disposition with AMBITION that goes beyond stripping... and that is what I THOUGHT I wanted (before you girls beat the idea out of my head).

There are a number of dancers that fit my description... Maybe they are a small minority, I don't know... They have become writers, journalists, college professors (usually feminist intellectuals), artists, academy award winners (the movie Juno) and small business owners (for example producing books/videos about erotic dancing for regular women or opening up dance studios to teach suburban wives strip-aerobics or pole dancing).

jack0177057
03-24-2009, 06:53 PM
hmm...

But you might really want to start considering it outside of the club ^_^

Hmmm... Let me think about that... Pay an old dude $150 per hour to ask me personal questions and bore me to tears with his psycho-babble bullshit... OR pay a smoking-hot dancer for very erotic lap dances...::)
Hmmm... which is money better spent??? ::)

Seriously,... I've gotten some very profound and helpful advice from some dancers I've talked to at the SC... Don't sell yourselves short. :)