View Full Version : Fantasy vs. Reality
Hopper
06-21-2009, 03:09 AM
I wonder if CA does think it the way he says it. If so, it is difficult fo be offended by someone with such extreme perceptions. But then, I'm not on the receiving end, like all the women here above size 2 (whatever CA means by that).
I almost said "every man's type" (which wouldn't be true either), but then figured that even (straight) women have particular female types they like.
How do dress sizes go, anyway?
Cyril
06-21-2009, 08:30 AM
The way you word your comments makes it sound like either a) English is not your first language or b) incredibly simple minded.
Believe me or not, English is the only medium through which I can express my thoughts well. It certainly needs a bit more work. There is no doubt about it. Good thing is, there are some skilled writers like yourself on this forum and I can certainly learn from them.
Coming back to the subject of simplicity; it is not that bad if you look at it in an objective manner. Example: It requires a great degree of skill to take a complex model and slice it into smaller (or simpler) chunk of slices to facilitate granular understanding.
Everyman
06-21-2009, 11:36 AM
Add me to the list of never having heard of Alexis whoever. Someone I think we can allllll agree on -- Raven Riley!
commanderadama
06-21-2009, 12:48 PM
I'm calling bull shit (as always).
And for the last time (because apparently you really are this dense) I'm not offended by your taste in women. I could care less what you like or don't like. I have a problem with the way you choose to express your taste and with the way you word your assessments of women on this forum. It's offensive. Knock it the fuck off.
Have you ever been to fashion week in NYC? I assure you there is nothing that Kim would fit in. Use the google, you'll find tons of women attesting to the silliness of her saying she's a 2.
Anyway, I'll try to temper my comments so as not to inflame delicate sensibilities.
Raven Riley, not my type.
JayATee
06-21-2009, 02:12 PM
Have you ever been to fashion week in NYC? I assure you there is nothing that Kim would fit in. Use the google, you'll find tons of women attesting to the silliness of her saying she's a 2.
Anyway, I'll try to temper my comments so as not to inflame delicate sensibilities.
Yes I have been to ny during fashion week ( I live in ny), and you don't have a clue what the hell you're talking about. You're not a expert on women's sizes or fashions so shut your mouth already.
vmurphy252
06-21-2009, 05:16 PM
^Use the google?
JayATee
06-21-2009, 05:18 PM
^ :rotfl:
I didn't see that until you said it. Hahahahahahaha! Now Im 100% convinced, he's a troll.
commanderadama
06-21-2009, 05:38 PM
^^^^
You've got issues. Are you seriously saying Kim could fit into any designers 2? LOL I think you just enjoy disparaging me...
Golden_Rule
06-21-2009, 05:43 PM
I've always thought that the fantasy of a women is much better than her reality. Like at the beginning of a relationship before she turns into that thing you're tired of... well you know. ::)
I've always found the reality of women more interesting.
I've always preferred real women, without too much in the way of enhancement [in looks or approach]. The girl-next-door over the Playboy centerfold.
That's just me though.
I'm a gritty soul and it shows. That's just the way I come packaged, take me or leave me. I don't hold women to any different standard than I would have applied to myself.
JayATee
06-21-2009, 05:44 PM
^^^^
You've got issues. Are you seriously saying Kim could fit into any designers 2? LOL I think you just enjoy disparaging me...
Dude, you have the issues. Not all women wear the same size all the time. Only an idiot male who has no idea what he's talking about would possibly be arguing with a woman over womens sizing. Isn't it time for you to go back under your bridge?
Golden_Rule
06-21-2009, 05:59 PM
The FANTASY is that we act like we enjoy talking to you, laugh at your jokes, act turned on, and act like we don't mind you smacking our ass.
The funny thing is, and I mean this sincerely, that there is a type of customer who if you can't identify him and modify your approach to suit his mind set [and I count myself among these] if you step to them with a full blown act like that, they will spot it a mile off and politely dismiss you without spending a dime on you.
A much prefer a dancer tell me what's on her mind. I'll tell her whats on mine. If we have any place where that over laps [all puns intended :) ] and that is a LOT of room - it doesn't have to mean we get down and dirty - then if you sold me on what truly is where you are "at" just then and there I'll spend money on and with you.
I'm a jaundiced old bird and take anyone being anything less than straight up with me as attempting to con me out of coin. That is hardly the best way to separate someone like me from my money. :)
I'm hardly alone in that. There are lots of older, been around the block a few times types like me in S-Cs. We even tend toward being some of the fellows with the most $$$ in our pockets.
The best way to sell guys like me is to simply tell us, straight up and with real candor, why we want to spend our hard earned money on you. If we see the logic in what you have to say most of us will gladly spend money on someone whose there to entertain us in a way she sees fit and was honest about.
Golden_Rule
06-21-2009, 06:06 PM
In North East New Jersey they have taken over the clubs; at least it keeps them off the street.
That is not entirely true.
The more "ghetto" clubs of Passiac, Paterson, Newark, the Oranges, Elizabeth and Irvington have more than there fair share of street types. The Plainfield clubs too.
That;s a lot of clubs, but you still have your Lace type clubs that have limited, if any, extra girls.
It hasn't reached a point where, in NJ, ALL the clubs of the north half of the state are straight out bordellos.
Now, that doesn't mean that you won't find a least a little something going on in most clubs, but that is true of NY, CT, PA, DE, not just NJ.
Golden_Rule
06-21-2009, 06:12 PM
Even if you take the actual person that is the stripper out of the equation, in what normal universe would a woman be willing to take her clothes off for money specifically for YOUR enjoyment? Answer? Only in a fantasy world.
Umm... can't say as I agree.
If you take the money out of the equation than it might be a fantasy world.
IOW, where but in a fantasy world is a woman willing take her clothes off and rub herself up on a guy but in a REAL world where he is willing to pay her to do it and she is willing to except the money. It is happening so it is REALITY.
I think some, I said some, dancers like to think that it is fantasy as that way they can avoid acknowledging having made the decision to take the money to do what they do.
If so I think that its bad for them to be doing it. If a dancer can accept the reality of what is taking place [and a customer as well for that matter] and be fine with it, then its all cool. If either is pretending this is fantasy so as to avoid coming to terms with the actual reality of what is going down that might be considerably less than cool, and possibly unhealthy as well.
commanderadama
06-21-2009, 07:40 PM
I've always found the reality of women more interesting.
I've always preferred real women, without too much in the way of enhancement [in looks or approach]. The girl-next-door over the Playboy centerfold.
That's just me though.
I'm a gritty soul and it shows. That's just the way I come packaged, take me or leave me. I don't hold women to any different standard than I would have applied to myself.
I don't think you understand. I ONLY like real thin girl next door types. But I disagree that there is such a thing as a "real woman". I got rebuked for expressing my opinion on this subject so I won't elaborate here, just provide a link to the offending post for your review that we can discuss in PM if you'd like.
Everyman
06-21-2009, 07:44 PM
Raven Riley, not my type.
I ONLY like real thin girl next door types.
Whatever dude. But if you don't like this, you're drawing your circle too narrow.
hockeybobby
06-21-2009, 07:45 PM
Ahhh....the good old "5 Types of Dancers / 3 Types of Custies" thread. Such memories. Those were good times.
commanderadama
06-21-2009, 07:59 PM
^^^^
I thought that was an excellent thread, but it got too truthful I suppose and people lost their tempers and it got shut down.
Whatever dude. But if you don't like this, you're drawing your circle too narrow.
Yes, as I pointed out in another thread. I'm only interested in having relations with about 1% of the females in any given area. My list before I'll give her the time of day is long. But I don't want to inflame anyone, so I won't list my many objections to Raven.
chris91
06-22-2009, 12:03 AM
Have you ever been to fashion week in NYC? I assure you there is nothing that Kim would fit in. Use the google, you'll find tons of women attesting to the silliness of her saying she's a 2.
Anyway, I'll try to temper my comments so as not to inflame delicate sensibilities.
Raven Riley, not my type.
She probably is a 2 in regular women's sizes. A size 2 at fashion week is not the same as a size 2 in regular stores. In fact, a size 2 is different depending on who makes the clothes.
Women that are skinny enough for you would likely not even be able to shop in the women's section, because they don't make clothes small enough for them. I think that what you like is closest to a size 0 in juniors. When you use fashion week sizes, nobody is going to know what the hell you are talking about.
commanderadama
06-22-2009, 10:01 AM
She probably is a 2 in regular women's sizes. A size 2 at fashion week is not the same as a size 2 in regular stores. In fact, a size 2 is different depending on who makes the clothes.
Women that are skinny enough for you would likely not even be able to shop in the women's section, because they don't make clothes small enough for them. I think that what you like is closest to a size 0 in juniors. When you use fashion week sizes, nobody is going to know what the hell you are talking about.
Exactly, that's why I say 0 is my hero, but as you say a 0 Liz Claiborne might be a 2 Oscar de la Renta, or a 4 Vera Wong. But I think most people understand what I'm trying to convey when I say I'm only interested in women who wear a dress size of 4 or less.
I mean many women fall into my acceptable height range, 5' to 5' 9". Thus if you can easily fit in to a size 4 dress or less I'll probably find you reasonably attractive and have a STR, But I'd prefer a 0. Like the model on Vera Wangs site sporting Look 24, she is smoking hot. I'd consider a LTR with her. 8)
A female cousin of mine hit me up once when her friend was throwing herself at me, and she had some wine in her and she just said, "Honey, you don't seem to understand, if you're still visible when you turn sideways you've got no chance with the commander." It was funny and true. ;)
charlie61
06-22-2009, 01:46 PM
^ It's hard for me to hear that without thinking you only like women with eating disorders.
chris91
06-22-2009, 03:56 PM
But I think most people understand what I'm trying to convey when I say I'm only interested in women who wear a dress size of 4 or less.
Eh, I don't think they do. A size 4 at victorias secret is pretty goddamn big.
mediocrity
06-22-2009, 04:16 PM
^ It's hard for me to hear that without thinking you only like women with eating disorders.
Like Allegra Versace?
http://patrishka.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/allegra-versace.jpg
Golden_Rule
06-22-2009, 04:20 PM
Like Allegra Versace?
http://patrishka.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/allegra-versace.jpg
Oh my God, someone hand that poor child a cookie! Make that several cookies... and some milk... and a steak with fries.
:)
jack0177057
06-22-2009, 04:29 PM
commanderadama likes very skinny women,... so what? I remember a few years ago browsing through a Vogue magazine with my SO and it was filled with anorexic crack-head-looking models...
I really don't get it... I like women with nice round asses and big boobs, not crack-head skinny... That does not appeal to me.
I prefer a small waist hour-glass figure, but a woman can be a little "larger" and still be hot... Here is a case in point:
21957
21959
21960
commanderadama
06-22-2009, 05:34 PM
Allegra Versace has an illness. Ellen Page, Jennifer Morrison, Selma Blair and similar types are all healthy small framed women. I went to skinnyfans.com and those girls are too skinny for me.
I have a thin fetish, as I have no sexual interest in women outside my preferred size range. Which is why I get annoyed when big (to me) women hit on me or ask me for dances. And why is it OK to accuse a thin women of having an eating disorder but we're suppose to ignore the big girls eating disorder?
Ideal weight for a 5' woman is 100lbs, therefore if you're 5'4" you should be around 120lbs, I want her at 110lbs. That is not anorexic. Allegra Versace was 70lbs in that picture and obviously, sick. I don't know how tall she is, but that really is only a healthy weight for a child.
commanderadama
06-22-2009, 05:37 PM
Eh, I don't think they do. A size 4 at victorias secret is pretty goddamn big.
hahaha, yes :D but the people I say it to, including you, know I mean model type skinny.
mediocrity
06-22-2009, 05:38 PM
^^ Well, I'm 5"8.5, and 130-132lbs currently, and was personally told by you once you'd find me hideous. That's pretty congruent with someone 5"4" and 110lbs, but good lordy I hit the hideous mark when I wrote I wore a size four.
God forbid.
Edited to say yes, that is a sample size 4.
Cyril
06-22-2009, 06:59 PM
Like Allegra Versace?
http://patrishka.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/allegra-versace.jpg
Not my type. She looks too skanky.
commanderadama
06-22-2009, 08:35 PM
^^ Well, I'm 5"8.5, and 130-132lbs currently, and was personally told by you once you'd find me hideous. That's pretty congruent with someone 5"4" and 110lbs, but good lordy I hit the hideous mark when I wrote I wore a size four.
God forbid.
Edited to say yes, that is a sample size 4.
I'm pretty sure I said borderline. 5'9" 130 sounds all good. I bet you could rock some Oscar de la Renta. ;D
Hopper
06-23-2009, 04:58 AM
Allegra Versace has an illness. Ellen Page, Jennifer Morrison, Selma Blair and similar types are all healthy small framed women. ...
... And why is it OK to accuse a thin women of having an eating disorder but we're suppose to ignore the big girls eating disorder?
Ideal weight for a 5' woman is 100lbs, therefore if you're 5'4" you should be around 120lbs, I want her at 110lbs. That is not anorexic. Allegra Versace was 70lbs in that picture and obviously, sick. I don't know how tall she is, but that really is only a healthy weight for a child.
Size by itself is not an indicator of health. Some women are naturally very thin. Out of those, some look nice some don't. Some carry it well, some don't. A thin girl can have nice-looking features or not.
Good point about eating disorders. Don't comment about an overweight woman who's wrecking her knees, but if some girl is even naturally thin it's an eating problem.
I remember years back when size zero came in there was a controversy about it encouragiing wrong standards of beauty and consequently eating disorders in the majority of women, who aren't that thin or small. But there really are women that small and thin, so do they wear clothes that don't fit them just for the mental health of larger women? Just extending the scale at the bottom end isn't setting a standard for everyone to aspire to.
A newspaper column at the time (by a woman) commented about size zero women as if they were responsible for other women's weight problems, just because they could eat KFC and not put on weight. I read it a few more times to make sure she wasn't joking and it didn't seem like it.
charlie61
06-23-2009, 05:11 PM
Allegra Versace has an illness. Ellen Page, Jennifer Morrison, Selma Blair and similar types are all healthy small framed women. I went to skinnyfans.com and those girls are too skinny for me.
I have a thin fetish, as I have no sexual interest in women outside my preferred size range. Which is why I get annoyed when big (to me) women hit on me or ask me for dances. And why is it OK to accuse a thin women of having an eating disorder but we're suppose to ignore the big girls eating disorder?
Ideal weight for a 5' woman is 100lbs, therefore if you're 5'4" you should be around 120lbs, I want her at 110lbs. That is not anorexic. Allegra Versace was 70lbs in that picture and obviously, sick. I don't know how tall she is, but that really is only a healthy weight for a child.
My only questions/comments..
1) why would you get annoyed when bigger girls hit on you or ask for dances? They have no way of knowing you like thin women.
2) It's much healthier to be slightly overweight than underweight. So the 'eating disorder' of being healthily larger (we're not talking obese here) isn't really comparable.
Shrugs. Whatever works for ya, man. :-\ :)
charlie61
06-23-2009, 05:17 PM
Many women who are quite thin used to have an eating disorder or drug problem...which is why they remain so thin after the trauma they do to their bodies (Selma Blair, Jamie King, Kate Bosworth, etc.). I'm not dissin' the naturally thin ladies...I'm just saying.
Haha I'm probably going to develop some kind of reverse fetish for big girls as rebellion against commanderadama's fetish. ;D ;)
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 06:32 PM
Develop a fetish out of spite? Hmm.
charlie61
06-23-2009, 06:33 PM
^ Clearly I'm not serious.
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 06:37 PM
My only questions/comments..
1) why would you get annoyed when bigger girls hit on you or ask for dances? They have no way of knowing you like thin women.
I can't believe I'm even participating in a discussion with my viewpoint being even a little bit on commander's side, but anyway:
I would say the annoyance would be similar to what an attractive woman would feel when a guy hits on you IRL that you are not interested in. He doesn't know until he tries, but he is still bothering you and wasting your time from your perspective. And this would apply to all dancer's that you are not attracted to, not just the bigger girls.
/threadjack
What is it about the Internet that makes you add your $.02299 (I'm in Canada right now) no matter what?
/endthreadjack
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 06:38 PM
Well, I thought you were serious, and don't call me Clearly. ;D
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 06:38 PM
And, of course, neither was I.
Elvia
06-23-2009, 06:49 PM
I can't believe I'm even participating in a discussion with my viewpoint being even a little bit on commander's side, but anyway:
I would say the annoyance would be similar to what an attractive woman would feel when a guy hits on you IRL that you are not interested in. He doesn't know until he tries, but he is still bothering you and wasting your time from your perspective. And this would apply to all dancer's that you are not attracted to, not just the bigger girls.
/threadjack
What is it about the Internet that makes you add your $.02299 (I'm in Canada right now) no matter what?
/endthreadjack
But when you go into a strip club, you know you're inviting attention from the dancers (any and all of them) in a way that you're not really doing when you're just walking down the street, or standing in line at the grocery store. I agree that when a man approaches me in public, he doesn't really know ahead of time if I'm going to be receptive to it. I may still be irked, yes. But if I go out with girlfriends to a club with male strippers, I should be aware that I'm probably going to be approached by the dancers, even some that I won't be interested in getting a dance from. It would be silly to bitch about how "annoying" it is.
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 07:00 PM
That goes back to us needing to learn how to reject more quickly and gracefully (if we don't already) and dancers learning to accept rejection gracefully (if they don't already).
Also, can't say I've been actively annoyed by a dancer, just some that kept sitting after I said no to a dance caused some awkward silences.
JayATee
06-23-2009, 07:15 PM
I would say the annoyance would be similar to what an attractive woman would feel when a guy hits on you IRL that you are not interested in. He doesn't know until he tries, but he is still bothering you and wasting your time from your perspective. And this would apply to all dancer's that you are not attracted to, not just the bigger girls.
I agree with this up to a point, except that in a SC the girls are going to ask EVERYONE for a dance. You can't get annoyed with them for doing their job. I mean, if you go into a store and the sales clerk ignores you even though you obviously want to purchase something than would you go back? Guys aren't going to return if no one talks to them.
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 07:24 PM
I think where the problem arises is when you obviously DON'T want to purchase a particular product but the salesman keeps pushing it.
Of course, all of the variations of are you stage tipping, are you getting dances from ANYONE, etc..., can arise here, but, for my "argument" we are talking about a single situation with 1 dancer that I am obviously not interested in (which hopefully I have verbalized). Now I'm just arguing for fun, so you can stop any time. Or keep going if you want to debate.
JayATee
06-23-2009, 08:01 PM
I think where the problem arises is when you obviously DON'T want to purchase a particular product but the salesman keeps pushing it.
Yes, but by that same token, you're not going to go into a shoe store if you're not interested in purchasing a pair of shoes. So yes, I agree if it's more than once that you get asked by the same dancer than it's obviously going to get annoying, but you can't blame her for the initial interaction.
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 08:06 PM
I am talking about the first part of your second sentence. I agree with the rest of what you say. I think.
commanderadama
06-23-2009, 08:09 PM
I agree with this up to a point, except that in a SC the girls are going to ask EVERYONE for a dance. You can't get annoyed with them for doing their job. I mean, if you go into a store and the sales clerk ignores you even though you obviously want to purchase something than would you go back? Guys aren't going to return if no one talks to them.
Good point, but when you're a shy guy like me, it's actually more than annoying. Unwanted attention makes me anxious, triggers the fight or flight reflex. Difficult to understand if you're not shy but like I said in the spanking thread, I was abused as a child. :-[ I think this answers Charlie's #1
#2 There is no conclusive evidence to support that. Actually underweight seems to be the winner in the century club. There is a whole movement about the calorie restrictive diet.
vmurphy252: I actually formed a lot of my opinions about women from rants on Heartless Bitches International :P
charlie61
06-23-2009, 08:15 PM
This was the first link that showed up on a quick google search about it being better to be overweight (within reason, obviously) than underweight.
http://www.halfsigma.com/2007/11/more-evidence-t.html
Not that it matters, really.
I hear you on being shy, CA. However, one might argue that strip clubs aren't the best places for shy people to congregate.
JayATee
06-23-2009, 08:21 PM
I hear you on being shy, CA. However, one might argue that strip clubs aren't the best places for shy people to congregate.
Precisely. The girls are going to talk to you in a SC. If you can't handle it, don't go.
xdamage
06-23-2009, 09:00 PM
This was the first link that showed up on a quick google search about it being better to be overweight (within reason, obviously) than underweight.
http://www.halfsigma.com/2007/11/more-evidence-t.html
Not that it matters, really.
FWIW there is also this study...
http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?id=17572&ch=biotech
which assuming we picked up similar genes, suggests our own biological clocks may tick slower when we keep weight off.
I'm not of the age group who obsesses over weight, though I try to keep mine in the doctor suggested healthy range, but I'm now beginning to wonder if there isn't something behind our culture's current popular obsession with extreme thinness? Do we on some sub conscious level know that health, youth, aging, and weight are intertwined?
vmurphy252
06-23-2009, 10:23 PM
Precisely. The girls are going to talk to you in a SC. If you can't handle it, don't go.
I actually AM shy, and SCs (along with my profession) have actually helped me not stress about small talk so much.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-23-2009, 11:17 PM
I actually AM shy, and SCs (along with my profession) have actually helped me not stress about small talk so much.
Please tell me you are an accountant; that is what boring nice guys do. The ultimate turnoff to a women.
homogeneous for nice, homogeneous for boring
Stable as a rock, has long-term employment, works well with others. Accountants.
JayATee
06-23-2009, 11:30 PM
I actually AM shy, and SCs (along with my profession) have actually helped me not stress about small talk so much.
So obviously, you can handle it. ;)