View Full Version : You know your working in a dive if.......
SuperJa
11-15-2015, 07:20 PM
you...meaning you the dancer, have peed in the urinal in the VIP room.
Please tell more about this vip room urinal.
I've danced in a club where one of the private dance areas was clearly a former bathroom, but it only had the plumbing sticking out of the wall, not the actual toilets.
MisMissing
11-15-2015, 07:51 PM
when theirs on;y two dancers (you and another girl)
when is super dead almost everyday
when they close early because the lack of people
when they let guys down into the dressing room and don't care
when every guy comes for only extras
when guys only come for the cheap drinks
when you try to up sale a lap dance they don't have money or too broke but they give you 2 bucks
when mostly couples and girls come into the club
when dancers wear beat up thongs and don't care what they wear
when the manger throws ones at you too
when the DR have mirrors but they super dirty and chipped to the max with broke make up lights
when the DR room is super small and has nasty tacky carpet
when the DR room is missing a roof panel right wear the bathrooms upstairs are so everything a custie or custette flushes it smell like crap and drips
when in the DR it has a shower instead of using it as a shower people use it to piss in.
I could go on and on lol
whirlerz
11-15-2015, 08:14 PM
When the Mgr makes an announcement for the guys to go pee outside, cause it's super crowded & there's only 1 bathroom.
When the pkging lot is 'paved' w/a bunch of stones.
Natalya
11-26-2015, 07:04 PM
When your stage set gets interrupted for an announcement that someone needs to pay the takeout chinese food guy.
When you see giant rats in the dressing room.
When all of the smoke detectors are ripped off in the entire establishment.
When dancer you don't even know asks to wear tonight the thong you have on already.
When you get tipped with an already scratched $2 winning lotto scratch ticket
^from a dive so bad it should be called a bellyflop.
LaLaLondon
11-26-2015, 08:26 PM
You know you're working at a dive when the "champaign rooms" are just lazy boys 😂
SweetJulia
11-26-2015, 09:10 PM
-When your stage show gets interrupted by a fight breaking out.
-When one of the fighters takes a seven minute break to go on stage.
-When the manager keeps narcan in his desk for an emergency.
-When you get complimented on teeth more than tits.
-When you're the only dancer without stretch marks or a c section scar.
-When the girl on stage has a house arrest bracelet on and doesn't even bother to cover it up with leg warmers.
(Welcome to half the clubs I've worked at in Ohio.)
SuperJa
11-27-2015, 03:01 AM
When customers frequently comment, "I can't believe this place is still open" or "I thought you were closed!"
When the exterior in the daytime definitely looks like an abandoned building
charlie61
11-28-2015, 01:38 PM
...when some of the girls shave their crotches in the dressing room.
Selina M
11-28-2015, 04:19 PM
...when some of the girls shave their crotches in the dressing room.
Do we get dive points if the DR vending machine sells razors so that they can shave in the DR?
JourneyRose
11-28-2015, 04:28 PM
LOL! This is on point. My place is exactly like that, fortunately that fact that it's a clean club, all the girls get along, and good managers all make up for it!
Felinepretty
11-28-2015, 05:54 PM
-When your stage show gets interrupted by a fight breaking out.
-When one of the fighters takes a seven minute break to go on stage.
-When the manager keeps narcan in his desk for an emergency.
-When you get complimented on teeth more than tits.
-When you're the only dancer without stretch marks or a c section scar.
-When the girl on stage has a house arrest bracelet on and doesn't even bother to cover it up with leg warmers.
(Welcome to half the clubs I've worked at in Ohio.)
House arrest bracelet???! Lmfao....that is the funniest thing I heard all year.
xx
SweetJulia
11-28-2015, 06:30 PM
House arrest bracelet???! Lmfao....that is the funniest thing I heard all year.
xx
Yep. It gets better: if you don't have a landline-and a lot of people, including this girl, don't-you get stuck with a huge, black device, resembling the very first cell phones. Leg warmers would have totally covered it up-the fluffy ones, not the tight ones-and she had several pairs. Maybe she left it exposed as a warning to coworkers and customers alike not to fuck with her? Maybe as a prop to get extra money out of regulars for court costs? Maybe cuz she knew that it was far from the best stamp of diveness there. So was that time all the lights went out when I was on stage cuz the electric bill wasn't paid in four months.
SuperJa
11-29-2015, 05:00 PM
So was that time all the lights went out when I was on stage cuz the electric bill wasn't paid in four months.
Lol!
So I worked at a club and they hadn't paid the internet, phone bill, coca cola delivery, alarm company, and probably a stack of other things in months. One night a drunk customer wandered down the stairs and flipped the breaker and all the girls were sitting in the dressing room like dayum did they cut the power off?
PhotoNymphet
12-07-2015, 04:57 PM
The DR reeks of 'Love Spell' or someone tries to cover B.O. by choking everyone in perfume instead of washing up in the shower or bathroom somewhere.
You don't know the original color/design of the DR carpet.
They only have enough lights for the front half of the main room.
The black lights makes everyone look gross & dirty instead of 'dreamy'.
The DJ plays music that 'throws you off' or makes your dance difficult until you tip him.
The bouncer spends half his time in the DR chatting & eating.
Aurora14
12-07-2015, 08:38 PM
When customers frequently comment, "I can't believe this place is still open" or "I thought you were closed!"
When the exterior in the daytime definitely looks like an abandoned building
every other night I hear this. sucks because the inside is actually nice since the remodel
whirlerz
12-07-2015, 08:49 PM
every other night I hear this. sucks because the inside is actually nice since the remodel
I find a lot of sc's are like that, though
ShaylaSkates
12-09-2015, 09:50 PM
My favorite dive, we had these rickety wooden stairs up to the front door that had a wide red stripe down the middle. Glittery, painted "red carpet".
When they throw a customer face first down that "red carpet" because he tried to attack a dancer while she was on stage
Serving drinks in plastic disposable cups
holes in the walls from dancers accidentally flinging their heels off while doing pole tricks or lap dances.
Sahar
07-02-2016, 02:32 AM
The pole is actually a giant support beam and if you touch the ceiling, then you run the risk of electrocuting yourself due to all of the loose wires and constantly leaking roof.
miss.a.p1600
07-02-2016, 09:25 AM
Omg I think I worked in a dive and have been in denial that it was a dive. Smdh
The club has rageddy ass chairs That have nasty fabric upholstery and some have missing wheels on the bottom making them unstable if you sit in them.
Club looks like it was designed in the 70's and hasn't been updated
The dressing room looks like it's from the 80's with a dirty ass floor that your feet stick to when walking over it (I dry heave seeing anyone walk barefooted on that floor)
There was a vending machine that you had to literally take all your strength to shake because the items would hang on the edge and not come out.
A lot of shit was either broken or malfunctioned - light fixtures, etc.
Shitty dressing room lighting not even a clown could put makeup on. Lightbulbs would be out or would be mismatched like some fluorescent and some soft white.
Bugs and flies and roaches and getting bit several times during shift, complaining to management and they're like oh we're going to do something about that?!? So bad at one point housemoms just used citronella candles like that was going to solve the problem. I'm like no hoes quit being cheap, use the money from those high ass fees y'all collect, and call an exterminator.
Papers and flyers littering the doors, walls, and mirrors. Like take this shit down. No one cares about fuggin lame drink specials this isn't hooters its a strip club quit encouraging cheap drunks to not spend money.
charlie61
07-02-2016, 02:03 PM
...when you commonly work with newbies who auditioned after watching Showgirls and are horrified by the reality of working as dive strippers, and you remember when you too were a wide-eyed newb who started dancing after you watched some stripper movie, but literally nothing hits your radar as bizarre or gross anymore because you. have. seen. everything.
Yourmomsstrippername7
07-02-2016, 03:21 PM
You hear a dancer talking (bragging?), to another dancer at the bar about one of her customers just got out of prison... And he was mad at her for not writing to him enough.... But her boyfriend was in prison at the same time, so OF COURSE she was going to write to her boyfriend.
Ugh.
miss.a.p1600
07-02-2016, 04:19 PM
^^^^ lol! Reminds me of a time I unfortunately overheard two dancers in the dressing room and one was like girl how do I put money on the books for my dude? I'm like is she for real? These are some low class broads right here. Welcome to the dive!
Nyla19
07-03-2016, 10:25 AM
This club I'm working at this week is the biggest joke ever. This has got to be the worst club if you can even call it that. You get paid by the hour. There are barely any customers. The owner keeps most all of the lap dance money. You go ont stage all of the time. And barely make much. However, there are two rooms where anything goes. I believe there's a lock on the door. I'm not sure because I've never gone in those rooms. And the ladies charge whatever they want for anything. It's like the Bermuda Triangle or something. I plan on finishing the week. Getting my paycheck on Friday and not returning ever again.
whirlerz
07-03-2016, 10:30 AM
When the owner, who's a major A/hole, comes in the club & throws the customers out just cause they're not drinking fast enough. Also charges house mom fee, & there's no house mom lol.
rareaspasia
07-03-2016, 01:43 PM
When girls don't even bother trying to hide their track marks.
God, this thread makes me grateful to work where I do!
miss.a.p1600
07-03-2016, 02:05 PM
When the owner, who's a major A/hole, comes in the club & throws the customers out just cause they're not drinking fast enough. Also charges house mom fee, & there's no house mom lol.
Omg that's hilarious!!!
I wish I could throw dudes out not drinking fast enough especially the ones who say yeah I'll buy some dances - after I finish my drink - then proceed to sip slow as molasses. Like really dude?!? hurry up and buy motherf*cker!
Charging housemoms fee and no housemom - classic. Thankfully managers here aren't dumb and greedy enough to do that.
miss.a.p1600
07-03-2016, 02:08 PM
When girls don't even bother trying to hide their track marks.
A dancer here was like - yeah I gotta wear this long sleeve fishnet top cause my cat scratched me up. I'm like riiiiiiight! Your cat must be a heroin filled needle. But I didn't say anything because she's one of the few dancers I actually liked.
PrettyPuppet
07-06-2016, 11:32 AM
One club I tried out I think would be considered a dive
1, when I first asked the bartender who I talk to about an audition the first thing she asked me is if I was a drug addict
2, she then told me not to bring anything of value inside the club
3, there were signs all over the place saying you had to pay your house fees at the beginning of the shift
4, the pole spun when it shouldn't have
5, it took me a few minutes to even see where the stage was
6, there were two lap dances areas. One that was just a bunch of dining chairs on a platform and one that was booths with disgusting chairs that you could see white stains on even in dim lighting.
7, all the girls were on their phone at the bar and two of them were nodding out at the bar.
8, most of the customers were girls that used to work there and now just hung out there
9, a customer jumped on the stage and no one cared
10, customers had to be patted down while surrounded by 4 other armed security guards
11, even with all of these security guards no one walks the girls out of the club
12, all the businesses in the area hire armed security at night because of this club
rareaspasia
07-06-2016, 08:05 PM
A dancer here was like - yeah I gotta wear this long sleeve fishnet top cause my cat scratched me up. I'm like riiiiiiight! Your cat must be a heroin filled needle. But I didn't say anything because she's one of the few dancers I actually liked.
I actually have a lot of sympathy for addicts since my brother has had serious problems with it for years now and I know it's a complicated issue. Im very friendly with a lot of dancer addicts but they are all the ones who own their problems. The ones who lie and steal and would basically still be assholes off drugs... Not so much.
SexyStella
07-07-2016, 11:58 AM
When it's raining and they have to put buckets EVERYWHERE because the ceiling is leaking...
bbloveee09
07-07-2016, 02:26 PM
When a drunk and angry customer who got kicked out of the club drives his truck into the club injuring two dancers- and the club is opened the very next day with a black tarp taped across the massive whole the truck left and construction workers are removing the debree. Customers and dancers still showing up as if nothing happened last night lol.
LoveyDovey
07-07-2016, 03:40 PM
When a drunk and angry customer who got kicked out of the club drives his truck into the club injuring two dancers- and the club is opened the very next day with a black tarp taped across the massive whole the truck left and construction workers are removing the debree. Customers and dancers still showing up as if nothing happened last night lol.
:O holy crap.
sweet_baby
12-08-2016, 12:28 PM
This club I'm working at this week is the biggest joke ever. This has got to be the worst club if you can even call it that. You get paid by the hour. There are barely any customers. The owner keeps most all of the lap dance money. You go ont stage all of the time. And barely make much. However, there are two rooms where anything goes. I believe there's a lock on the door. I'm not sure because I've never gone in those rooms. And the ladies charge whatever they want for anything. It's like the Bermuda Triangle or something. I plan on finishing the week. Getting my paycheck on Friday and not returning ever again.
where is this place?