View Full Version : How can I visit clubs thread jack.
JayATee
05-24-2009, 09:38 PM
Yeap, I could have said a Congressman or a lawyer, but didn't.
I am not bringing in extras. Dancing (just dancing) invokes sexual emotion. Sorry, but it's not like dancing in a ballet. They both stir up emotions, just different ones.
Only on the part of the customer. That's the point.
I understand that, and I do not disagree. But it does invoke them in (most) men.
So??
glambman
05-24-2009, 09:41 PM
Only on the part of the customer. That's the point.
So??
I know that's the point. But don't you see where someone would not want to date someone whose job it is is to invoke lust and sexual emotion.
charlie61
05-24-2009, 10:25 PM
^ Don't a lot of jobs do this? Even mainstream actresses do this! Would you not want to date Jessica Alba because her job entails turning on her audience?
JayATee
05-25-2009, 12:32 AM
I know that's the point. But don't you see where someone would not want to date someone whose job it is is to invoke lust and sexual emotion.
No. I don't understand why it matters. Again, so what?? So it's my job to make guys want me. So? They don't get to have me. Who cares what they want?
Does that mean you don't allow your wife or gf to wear low cut tops or short skirts bc she might invoke lust on the part of the men that look at her? Does that mean you wouldn't date women in maxim and playboy or models in general because they're naked or partially naked in magazines and they invoke sexual emotions on the part of the reader?
What you're saying makes no sense here. This is the adult industry and show business in general. How many movies have you seen with beautiful half naked women? How many commercials come on tv to advertise whatever with a scantily clad woman?? You cross them off your list as dating material bc they invoke a sexual response? They don't own that response. They only own their performance. The response that they get is the response they get. They're not responsible for which people find it to be sexual. Which is all that dancers do. They put on a performance.
I mean honestly. Let's think in real terms here.
JayATee
05-25-2009, 12:38 AM
LoL sorry Charlie I didn't see your post before I posted mine. I probably wouldn't have gone into so much detail since I basically said the same thing. Oops.
Hopper
05-25-2009, 12:45 AM
Are dancers here seriously saying that stripping and lapdancing is not sexual? It's 100% sexual. It's every bit as sexual as prostitution. Prostitutes don't feel sexual about it either, even though they have actual sex. Strippers don't go as far - they don't consumate. But they get naked and (in clubs which allow it) get touched. The next step after that IRL is sex. I am not saying that stripping is prostitution or even similar. If I did, I would be saying it about myself as much as the dancers. But - strip-tease and lapdancing not sexual??
As for that comment "it's not the dancers fault" - what, she didn't know that dancing in a g-string or less would sexually turn on men in the room? They are only paying her for her dancing ability?
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 12:47 AM
No "average" man...only exceptional men who love us for US and didnt go out with us to put a notch on their bedpost or brag that they are dating a stripper. Secure men...I'm sure you've heard of them
I am speaking generally as I don't know anyone on this board. Everyone must admit a dancer that can use a computer is exceptional.:duck:For the average dancers the "secure men" who date them long term are sexually confused or broke.:duck:
JayATee
05-25-2009, 12:51 AM
Are dancers here seriously saying that stripping and lapdancing is not sexual? It's 100% sexual. It's every bit as sexual as prostitution. Prostitutes don't feel sexual about it either, even though they have actual sex. Strippers don't go as far - they don't consumate. But they get naked and (in clubs which allow it) get touched. The next step after that IRL is sex. I am not saying that stripping is prostitution or even similar. If I did, I would be saying it about myself as much as the dancers. But - strip-tease and lapdancing not sexual??
As for that comment "it's not the dancers fault" - what, she didn't know that dancing in a g-string or less would sexually turn on men in the room? They are only paying her for her dancing ability?
Are you kidding?? Please tell me this is a fucking joke. The dancer doesn't OWN the response she gets. She puts on a PERFORMANCE. Nothing more nothing less. It's no more sexual than watching a sex scene in a movie. Is it the actress' fault you're turned on after? Give me a break.
SC's do not equal real life. The next step isn't sex with the dancer. SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU. That's real life.
Good lord. I think crow had the right idea.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 12:52 AM
^ 99% of dancers would probably agree that dancing is (generally) completely unsexual on the dancer's side of things.
Yes it is nonsexual for dancers so much so that when they come home after work they don't want to be touched by any man even the one they live with. /:O
Hopper
05-25-2009, 01:03 AM
^Yes it is the actress's "fault" if she does a sex scene and I'm turned on- it's a sex scene! Same goes for a Playboy model. Does the prostitute "own" the response she gets? Does your BF own the sexual response he gets from you? He didn't necessarily mean it. Doesn't matter what he meant - the resonse was sexual. I'm not saying strippers are having sex with patrons, but it is a sexual performance. It is designed to create a sexual response. That's why they pay you.
Hopper
05-25-2009, 01:07 AM
Nor was I saying that what strippers do - on stage or in lapdancing - is the same as foreplay IRL. But it is a simulation of it and physically it is the same, and it is designed to create the same feelings in the patrons. Doesn't matter what the dancers feel. Again, if a woman has sex with a man but she doesn't feel like it, it doesn't change anything. You could call that a performance too. Still sex. Stripping and lapdancing aren't sex, but they are sexual in the physical sense - doesn't matter why you do it.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 01:09 AM
I'm not saying strippers are having sex with patrons, but it is a sexual performance.
They may not call it sex but do you want some guy pawing your GF? No honey no money.
Hopper
05-25-2009, 01:18 AM
^That's what I'm getting at. Many guys (I'm not saying me) would not want a GF who strips because it is a sexual performance, including touching in most cases. Some guys would not like their GF to be a Playboy girl either. Acting is different, perhaps depending on what type of sex scene it is. An actor may turn down some types of sex scene and accept others depending on the context. A girl who poses nude for an artist or photographer is not (necessarily) posing in a sexual context, even thought the result will naturally have erotic aspects to it, because the female form itself is erotic.
The dancers here are trying to remove themselves and what they do from the context of the strip club. They say it depends entirely on what they feel when they do it.
What about hard-core porn films? Are they just performances too? Most porn actors don't enjoy it because it's so commonplace for them. Sometimes it's just simulated. But are these films sexual?
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 01:24 AM
The dancers here are trying to remove themselves and what they do from the context of the strip club. They say it depends entirely on what they feel when they do it.
I can understand how they feel but they can't understand how many men feel. It is just another thing they must trade for the money and freedom that comes with being a dancer.
Hopper
05-25-2009, 02:51 AM
Even if, say, a guy's GF is a Playboy Playmate, although she doesn't feel anythaing for all the guys who see her pictures, those other guys are still looking at their girl.
I don't think that, just because they don't get sexually turned-on by what they do, the dancers are immune from all sexual effects of what they do. They are still being desensitised in some way to appearing nude in front males and bieng touched by males and in contact with them in a sexual context (even if they don't overtly feel sexual). You just can't help that being sexual in some ways.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 03:10 AM
This is a difficult topic for some because of the emotional involvement. They are young now but will eventually become cold and emotionally, for the most part, detached.
I'm disappointed the only thread jack was deleted.:'(
Hopper
05-25-2009, 03:24 AM
^Which thread-jack was deleted?
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 03:26 AM
Whome do you dancers find more aggravating on this board; regular PLs or guys like ? He even gets to post a picture of his ass http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/customavatars/avatar75931_1.gifhttp://www.stripperweb.com/forum/ in the ladies only section.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 03:28 AM
^Which thread-jack was deleted?
The spammer trying to sell dancer clothing. I didn't mind that but my witty retort was also deleted.
Hopper
05-25-2009, 03:28 AM
Are equating dancers with hookers?
...The analogy was terrible. Try to remember where you are ok??
My job isn't to have sex with people for a living. Im not saying anything bad about the people who do, Im simply saying that this is the worst analogy I've ever heard for why guys can't handle dating dancers. ...
No I'm not reading too much into it. You picked a certain profession. You could've just as easily made it a ceo of a fortune 500 company but you didn't. You asked about a streetwalker...
...
An analogy doesn't equate the two things being compared. (Whether it's a good analogy is another issue.) I don't see why a CEO would be a good analogy for a stripper in regard to dating.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 03:39 AM
An analogy doesn't equate the two things being compared. (Whether it's a good analogy is another issue.) I don't see why a CEO would be a good analogy for a stripper in regard to dating.
It is difficult comparing men and women when it comes to matters of the heart; Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.
CKXXX
05-25-2009, 10:11 AM
This is a difficult topic for some because of the emotional involvement. They are young now but will eventually become cold and emotionally, for the most part, detached.
.
Do you mean that the dancers are young or the customers in this thread? Because honey..I'm 35,married for 9 years and feeling older every day! But I am certainly not cold. Emotionally detached? At work..absolutely. You have to be. But it was the same when I was a vet tech...had to be emotionally detached to do the job right. A lot of jobs that have nothing to do with the adult biz require this skill.
JayATee
05-25-2009, 10:52 AM
Yes it is nonsexual for dancers so much so that when they come home after work they don't want to be touched by any man even the one they live with. /:O
Bull shit. I have sex with my husband lots of nights I come home from work.
^Yes it is the actress's "fault" if she does a sex scene and I'm turned on- it's a sex scene! Same goes for a Playboy model. Does the prostitute "own" the response she gets? Does your BF own the sexual response he gets from you? He didn't necessarily mean it. Doesn't matter what he meant - the resonse was sexual. I'm not saying strippers are having sex with patrons, but it is a sexual performance. It is designed to create a sexual response. That's why they pay you.
So you get turned on?? So fucking what??? It's a DANCE!!! You pay me to dance for you. I perform a DANCE.
An analogy doesn't equate the two things being compared. (Whether it's a good analogy is another issue.) I don't see why a CEO would be a good analogy for a stripper in regard to dating.
I never said the analogy equated anything. Read the posts in order please.
I never said a ceo would have been a better analogy. Again, read the posts please before you go shooting your mouth off.
They may not call it sex but do you want some guy pawing your GF? No honey no money.
LoL. Im done here. If you guys can't handle dating dancers that's your problem and your loss. And sorry, it does make you insecure. Glad my husband is better than that.
mediocrity
05-25-2009, 11:08 AM
I am speaking generally as I don't know anyone on this board. Everyone must admit a dancer that can use a computer is exceptional.:duck:For the average dancers the "secure men" who date them long term are sexually confused or broke.:duck:
So, your general consensus is, most dancers are idiots and date broke asses?
Sorry, neither of those is true for me. Plus from what you have shared, you hang out in skeezy clubs. So in a way I am not surprised this has been your experience.
glambman
05-25-2009, 11:29 AM
I never said the analogy equated anything.
But yet you take my example as equating with something that 'is not there'.
JayATee
05-25-2009, 12:26 PM
But yet you take my example as equating with something that 'is not there'.
No, that's not what I did. I ASKED if you equated dancers with hookers bc that's the analogy you used.
God, you guys having comprehension issues today or what??
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 03:00 PM
. Plus from what you have shared, you hang out in skeezy clubs. So in a way I am not surprised this has been your experience.
I have experiences with dancers form "gentlemen's clubs" also; they hustle real good too.
In fact it is all most like there is a school or a web site where they all learn the same tricks. :thinking:
mediocrity
05-25-2009, 03:17 PM
I have experiences with dancers form "gentlemen's clubs" also; they hustle real good too.
In fact it is all most like there is a school or a web site where they all learn the same tricks. :thinking:
Funny how you didn't reply to my first statement.
Earl_the_Pearl
05-25-2009, 03:21 PM
Funny how you didn't reply to my first statement.
Yes I did you skipped over it.
I am speaking generally as I don't know anyone on this board. Everyone must admit a dancer that can use a computer is exceptional.:duck:...
glambman
05-25-2009, 04:18 PM
No, that's not what I did. I ASKED if you equated dancers with hookers bc that's the analogy you used.
God, you guys having comprehension issues today or what??
Do you wanna know why I used that as an example? Do ya? I'll tell ya why....
Because I knew she would say no to it and list the reasons why (justifying it) along with maintaining the superiority that she was still secure and we weren't.
The thread didn't disappoint. Certifiable.
BTW I didn't equate them, I merely picked another profession. I would not be comparing them even if I had said any other profession.
commanderadama
05-25-2009, 08:35 PM
No "average" man...only exceptional men who love us for US and didnt go out with us to put a notch on their bedpost or brag that they are dating a stripper. Secure men...I'm sure you've heard of them
What does this "love us for us" mean? I usually hear something like this in the third (and usually final) month of the relationships I enter into and I never understand.
commanderadama
05-25-2009, 08:51 PM
So, your general consensus is, most dancers are idiots and date broke asses?
I think most people are naive and most women date asses. 8)
As I try to express in every post, I don't think dancers are any different from "normal" blue collar women. I think most dancers date "losers" because of the social class they are in, just like their BC comrades.
The ones I've known go from world class scumbags to guys who came from broken homes and could never catch a break. I feel for those guys. But the scumbags, I met a guy one night who told me that he taped his little sisters cat to the road and made her watch as a truck ran it over. He saw the horror on my face and then added, Yeah I had to go to the psych ward for a few months after that... and I was like "and rightfully so..." and you guess it, he was dating a dancer... wonder if he shared that little tidbit with her? :O
mediocrity
05-25-2009, 09:05 PM
I think most people are naive and most women date asses. 8)
As I try to express in every post, I don't think dancers are any different from "normal" blue collar women. I think most dancers date "losers" because of the social class they are in, just like their BC comrades.
The ones I've known go from world class scumbags to guys who came from broken homes and could never catch a break. I feel for those guys. But the scumbags, I met a guy one night who told me that he taped his little sisters cat to the road and made her watch as a truck ran it over. He saw the horror on my face and then added, Yeah I had to go to the psych ward for a few months after that... and I was like "and rightfully so..." and you guess it, he was dating a dancer... wonder if he shared that little tidbit with her? :O
You know, I really want to dislike you, but I can't. I don't agree with your misogyny, so don't get that wrong. But on some level, (and I am going to get hated on for this) I think you are right.
I find in my club there are essentially three groups of dancers. I know there's more, so I will say three predominant types that I have observed over the last seven years. The ones like myself, who do it as a means to an end and are pursuing a greater picture, the ones who don't have any education or are in a bad situation and feel they don't have any options, and those who genuinely love what they do.
I could see group B (the ones in bad situations or low education levels) dating down because they have poor self esteem. They go for the bottom of the barrel guys, because they feel like that is all they deserve. I have counseled girl after girl whose boyfriend or whatever is treating her badly, and often met with "I can't leave, where would I go?" I worked with a girl here whose husband refused to allow her to wear makeup, at work or otherwise. She never finished high school, and married him because she felt it was the thing to do and the road to security. I asked her why in the world she wouldnt leave. Her response: "He won't let me drive, says I have to work x amount of hours, we have a small child, and he has control over the money." I thought it was sad, and could see how she was in a bad situation.
Then again I see the same things in a small town my sister lives in; where people live and die there for generations, never aspire to get better, have kids young, married straight out of high school, because that is what they are exposed to all their lives.
I guess the long and the short of it is, it actually makes me pleased when you say you don't discern the difference between dancers vs any other non-coporate position. Even if maybe the non-difference is perhaps meant in a negative way, I find it refreshing not to be lumped into the bad sex worker stigma pile.
Who knows. I've had some wine after writing a couple of papers so maybe this doesn't make sense. But I hope you get what I am trying to say.
Cyril
05-25-2009, 09:22 PM
Actually, there is not much difference between strippers and pharmaceutical sales women. They both know how to skillfully stroke men’s ego. And, keep in mind pharmaceutical sales women are educated women.
JayATee
05-25-2009, 09:31 PM
Do you wanna know why I used that as an example? Do ya? I'll tell ya why....
Because I knew she would say no to it and list the reasons why (justifying it) along with maintaining the superiority that she was still secure and we weren't.
The thread didn't disappoint. Certifiable.
BTW I didn't equate them, I merely picked another profession. I would not be comparing them even if I had said any other profession.
I NEVER said you did. READ my post.
And no dear, you didn't innocently pick another profession.
And you are insecure. That's painfully apparent.
charlie61
05-25-2009, 11:46 PM
This thread reminds me of how many patrons simultaneously support us and yet dislike us. :(
I honestly, honestly don't understand it. Unless you're in a dishonest relationship, there shouldn't be any problem with dating strippers. They go to work, turn some guys/girls on, come home, and fuck you. Where's the problem? Unless you're in a bad relationship, it should be as simple as any other job.
Hell, I'm sure I turn some guys on just by walking down the street. How is working in a club any different? (Obviously it's more blatant, but as long as the girl isn't interested in the guys for whom she dances, where's the problem??)
I seriously don't get it. And I'm trying to understand.
vmurphy252
05-25-2009, 11:49 PM
^I don't like dating strippers because it makes my wife mad.
charlie61
05-25-2009, 11:56 PM
^ Heh. Touché.
JayATee
05-25-2009, 11:58 PM
^I don't like dating strippers because it makes my wife mad.
I'd be ok with it if the chick my husband brought home was really hot. But he'd have to share. ;)
vmurphy252
05-26-2009, 12:08 AM
^Unfortunately it would be the other way. She can bring home a chick but won't let me share. So she says. Although I suppose I could bring the chick home, but then I'm out.
But you are very cruel to put such images in my head.
vmurphy252
05-26-2009, 12:09 AM
^ Heh. Touché.
You got the accent mark!
vmurphy252
05-26-2009, 12:12 AM
This thread reminds me of how many patrons simultaneously support us and yet dislike us. :(
I honestly, honestly don't understand it. Unless you're in a dishonest relationship, there shouldn't be any problem with dating strippers. They go to work, turn some guys/girls on, come home, and fuck you. Where's the problem? Unless you're in a bad relationship, it should be as simple as any other job.
Hell, I'm sure I turn some guys on just by walking down the street. How is working in a club any different? (Obviously it's more blatant, but as long as the girl isn't interested in the guys for whom she dances, where's the problem??)
I seriously don't get it. And I'm trying to understand.
Never been in the specific situation, but I don't THINK I would have a problem. Jealousy, in general, is a sign of insecurity, so I would imagine someone who has major issues dating a dancer because of any of the contact/dancer-type issues is going to have some other issues in a "normal" relationship.
Just my $.0226035 CAD.
Hopper
05-26-2009, 03:59 AM
This thread reminds me of how many patrons simultaneously support us and yet dislike us. :(
I honestly, honestly don't understand it. Unless you're in a dishonest relationship, there shouldn't be any problem with dating strippers. They go to work, turn some guys/girls on, come home, and fuck you. Where's the problem? Unless you're in a bad relationship, it should be as simple as any other job.
Hell, I'm sure I turn some guys on just by walking down the street. How is working in a club any different? (Obviously it's more blatant, but as long as the girl isn't interested in the guys for whom she dances, where's the problem??)
I seriously don't get it. And I'm trying to understand.
I don't dislike strippers, I am just aware of their attitude to me; and I consider myself above it, as with any petty female behaviour. I can understand it but can't necessarily justify it.
I wouldn't necessarily feel jealous if I were dating a stripper (don't know from experience). I would see it basically the same way the dancers here see it, at least as far as her feelings for the patrons are concerned.
All I was saying was that strippers are performing a sexual type of act when they strip-tease and lapdance. It's definitely something you wouldn't do for any guy other than your SO for free, or in a public place.
You can't help turning a guy on in any normal cicumstances, but the difference between walking down the street and strip-tease is that it's a strip-TEASE - you are doing it specifically to turn him on and you make your money from him being turned on. What if a girl stroked a guys dick without being interested in him? Would that be different?
Hopper
05-26-2009, 04:04 AM
...
So you get turned on?? So fucking what??? It's a DANCE!!! You pay me to dance for you. I perform a DANCE.
I never said the analogy equated anything. Read the posts in order please.
I never said a ceo would have been a better analogy. Again, read the posts please before you go shooting your mouth off.
...
Yeah but what kind of dance? Ballet? Waltz? Tapdancing? No - strip-tease.
You complained that it was a bad analogy, like glambman was being insensitive or something for using it. Why would a CEO be a better analogy for the point glambman was making? Why would a guy have this problem from his SO being a CEO?
glambman
05-26-2009, 06:11 AM
And no dear, you didn't innocently pick another profession.
And you are insecure. That's painfully apparent.
Yes, I did not innocently pick another profession, I picked it intentionally. Still doesn't mean there is any type of equating the two.
No I am not. It's painfully apparent that you have a holier than thou attitude. 'I'm just dancing, it's his fault'. lolololololol
This thread reminds me of how many patrons simultaneously support us and yet dislike us. :(
I honestly, honestly don't understand it. Unless you're in a dishonest relationship, there shouldn't be any problem with dating strippers. They go to work, turn some guys/girls on, come home, and fuck you. Where's the problem? Unless you're in a bad relationship, it should be as simple as any other job.
Hell, I'm sure I turn some guys on just by walking down the street. How is working in a club any different? (Obviously it's more blatant, but as long as the girl isn't interested in the guys for whom she dances, where's the problem??)
I seriously don't get it. And I'm trying to understand.
Even though I have my 'beliefs', I am a very nonjudgmental person and I don't hate people. Granted, I do judge by ones actions, but that is okay in my book. It's also different then stereotyping a person or a group.
You used the word blatant, but I think your examples are too different. If you are walking down the street normally, it's not like you are taking sexual actions geared towards those who see you.
In a club, the minute you walk in, it's about the sexual energy. Let's face it, dancers are taking sexual actions geared towards those who see them, and those who pay for a sexually charged dance.
charlie61
05-26-2009, 09:16 AM
Shrugs. Aight. More stripper goodness for the rest o' the boys, then. To each his own.
JayATee
05-26-2009, 12:20 PM
Yes, I did not innocently pick another profession, I picked it intentionally. Still doesn't mean there is any type of equating the two.
LoL, picking it intentionally means it wasn't innocent. ::)
And for the last fucking time, I ASKED if you equated the 2, I did not say you did. FFS. I mean you do understand what it means to ask a question don't you??
No I am not. It's painfully apparent that you have a holier than thou attitude. 'I'm just dancing, it's his fault'. lolololololol
Don't you DARE accuse me of thinking I am better than other people. Don't you dare.
If you can't handle dating a dancer, you can't handle dating a dancer, there are plenty of ppl out there who do not share your opinion so hopefully we're all lucky enough to find them in life instead of the ppl like you who can't even admit to what they really are.
I am a dancer. That is what I am paid for, and that is what I do. Your response to my dancing is your response. You want to believe otherwise that's fine, but I could care less. I know who I am and what I'm about.
vmurphy252
05-26-2009, 12:32 PM
Can't we all just get along?
hockeybobby
05-26-2009, 04:45 PM
Why do dudes come here to argue with strippers?
commanderadama
05-26-2009, 05:11 PM
Actually, there is not much difference between strippers and pharmaceutical sales women. They both know how to skillfully stroke men’s ego. And, keep in mind pharmaceutical sales women are educated women.
It's much easier to become a stripper than to get into pharmaceutical sales and they have to deal with woman much more than men. At least in my area. (I know a woman who does this, it's hard)