View Full Version : Two infuriating questions.
gameover
07-20-2009, 05:25 PM
Can those idiots really be serious about that how-to-date-a-stripper crap???
First of all, if you are inside a strip club, YOU ARE A CUSTOMER. And thus, fair game. If you act uninterested in me, refuse to tip or buy dances, "See ya, douchebag!"
Secondly, I'd jump off a bridge before I'd date a customer. In fact, if I was dating a man I'd met outside of work and found out that he frequented strip clubs...that would pretty much be a deal breaker. I'd say at least 90% of men in strip clubs are disgusting, selfish, little boys who have little (if any) respect for women. If they did, they wouldn't be there...
Do you still even date men? If so, I pity the poor SOB. You can see the waves of rage emanating from every word you type. Yikes :O
jack0177057
07-20-2009, 05:59 PM
I'd say at least 90% of men in strip clubs are disgusting, selfish, little boys who have little (if any) respect for women. If they did, they wouldn't be there...
Have you always felt like this? Could it be the SC you dance in attracts undesirable types of men? Maybe you should look at changing SCs... or even changing careers...
I've always been very respectful to dancers... I'm on my best behavior, as if we were on a date...
Otoki
07-26-2009, 01:24 PM
I met my Bf in the club but It wasnt like I wanna date right away, one night he came in and got 200 dollars worth of dances from me and TIPED me!! He came in a few times, talked alot, I was going to go to his work to do some private dances.. we ended up talking and I was like I really dont feel like getting naked, Ive never dance anywhere than the club.. we talked and he still gave me some money and we just kinda started dating..
But I do get some fags,
Off topic, but please don't use "fags", whether as an insult, or towards gay people. If you want to call your gay friends fags because they're cool with it, that's fine. However, you do not have that sort of familiarity with everyone on SW, and there are definitely queer girls on this site, so please be considerate enough to use a term that isn't the gay equivalent of "nigger", and avoid using it as an equivalent for "stupid". Thank you.
Edit: you are not by any means the first person on her to do this. You just caught me at a bad time and I fucking hate when people say "fag" or "gay" as a replacement for "stupid person". I heard no less than three co-dancers say that last night.
lopaw
07-26-2009, 07:31 PM
Off topic, but please don't use "fags", whether as an insult, or towards gay people. If you want to call your gay friends fags because they're cool with it, that's fine. However, you do not have that sort of familiarity with everyone on SW, and there are definitely queer girls on this site, so please be considerate enough to use a term that isn't the gay equivalent of "nigger", and avoid using it as an equivalent for "stupid". Thank you.
Edit: you are not by any means the first person on her to do this. You just caught me at a bad time and I fucking hate when people say "fag" or "gay" as a replacement for "stupid person". I heard no less than three co-dancers say that last night.
Thanx for flagging that.
I noticed it as well and was going to call her on it, but I figured that it was said in honest ignorance, so I let it go.
I won't let it go next time.....and I hope there isn't a next time.
Otoki
07-28-2009, 02:33 PM
Thanx for flagging that.
I noticed it as well and was going to call her on it, but I figured that it was said in honest ignorance, so I let it go.
I won't let it go next time.....and I hope there isn't a next time.
I always call girls on it at work, not overtly, but if they say "that's fucking gay" I'll usually respond with "Yeah, that is REALLY homosexual!" and they usually get my point. I just don't understand why people still use "gay" as an equivalent for "stupid". I mean, our fucking club hairdresser is gay! At least two of the dancers there that night are gay (lesbian). One of the girls said the gay thing in front of BOTH of the gay girls! The looks on their faces were...irritated.
Almost Jaded
07-28-2009, 03:15 PM
I have to politely disagree, and say guilty as charged - but nt really.
"Gay" and "ghey" are two different words.
Thing is, there's the interweb vernacular "ghey", which has become so standard that honestly, when I say "Dude, that's ghey" IRL, the "gay" aspect of it is nonexistent; it's a word that means "lame" and has no connotation or connection to the "gay" lifestyle at all. Hell, every one of my gay friends use it as badly as anyone else, lol.
I guess I look at it like so many other words in the English language. It's a homonym (how weird is it that "homonym" has the root "homo", which of course means "of like" or of "of same", but in this context is just ironic). "Gay" and "ghey" are two completely different words in my vocabulary, with two completely different meanings.
:shrug:
jack0177057
07-28-2009, 04:49 PM
I think lesbian and bi women are awesome! Two hot women kissing and fondling each other is just plain awesome and amazing!... That's all I have to say...
lopaw
07-28-2009, 06:53 PM
I have to politely disagree, and say guilty as charged - but nt really.
"Gay" and "ghey" are two different words.
Thing is, there's the interweb vernacular "ghey", which has become so standard that honestly, when I say "Dude, that's ghey" IRL, the "gay" aspect of it is nonexistent; it's a word that means "lame" and has no connotation or connection to the "gay" lifestyle at all. Hell, every one of my gay friends use it as badly as anyone else, lol.
I guess I look at it like so many other words in the English language. It's a homonym (how weird is it that "homonym" has the root "homo", which of course means "of like" or of "of same", but in this context is just ironic). "Gay" and "ghey" are two completely different words in my vocabulary, with two completely different meanings.
:shrug:
That's all fine & good....but many people aren't as enlightened about the different distinctions as you are. Ask your average-intellect person using the term in a derogatory way (especially kids) and they will will inject a homosexual connotation to it, at least verbally. As long as the pronunciation is the same, the underlying anti-gay sentiment is still lurking there. Sorry - it's too close for comfort.
Live in a gay person's shoes for a minute and I think you'll agree.
It's wrong.
Period.
Earl_the_Pearl
07-29-2009, 12:41 PM
Live in a gay person's shoes for a minute and I think you'll agree.
It's wrong.
Period.
It is a corruption of the King's English using slang to change the meaning of a word.
Gay; Bright and pleasant; promoting a feeling of cheer; King's English.
Queer; Beyond or deviating from the usual or expected; King's English.
Gay; Homosexual; slang use.
Gay: Beyond or deviating from the usual or expected; slang use.
If we did not corrupt the King's English this would not be a problem.
hockeybobby
07-29-2009, 03:38 PM
We have a Queen up here, and therefore we use the Queen's english. That's why we are all quite gay and cheerful I guess.
Earl_the_Pearl
07-29-2009, 10:48 PM
We have a Queen up here, and therefore we use the Queen's english. That's why we are all quite gay and cheerful I guess.
I've seen your queen.
http://robertbonnett.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/dame-edna.jpg
Almost Jaded
07-29-2009, 11:20 PM
Lopaw - I see and acknowledge your point; however the word is here to stay, lol <--- like that one
Hopefully the homosexual connotations get lost in the mix, as I - nor anyone I personally now who uses it - don't give it a second thought and would never mean to offend.
Again - I see your point, and can see where you would have a problem with that statment above - nevertheless, it's gonna be hard to stem that tide.
Otoki
07-30-2009, 11:56 AM
Lopaw - I see and acknowledge your point; however the word is here to stay, lol <--- like that one
Hopefully the homosexual connotations get lost in the mix, as I - nor anyone I personally now who uses it - don't give it a second thought and would never mean to offend.
Again - I see your point, and can see where you would have a problem with that statment above - nevertheless, it's gonna be hard to stem that tide.
I think lol, being an abbreviation, and ghey, being a poorly disguised homonym with obvious ties to homophobia based on its use, are two different examples. I hope that ghey is not here to stay, because its fucking stupid.
Almost Jaded
07-30-2009, 03:06 PM
:shrug: - I don't hope one way or the other; I just observe.
For the linguistics majors here:
Why do some vernacular terms - e.g., "cool", "sweet", "awesome" - seem to have a longer "shelf life" than others - e.g., "gnarly", "bitchin", "radical" - in common use?
The examples given here are not perfect as they are all still in use to some degree; however one can state with authority that barring some local deviation, "cool" has been in the common vernacular with a common interpretation for decades and is still common, whereas "gnarly" started out localized, spread rapidly in the '80's, and began to die off less tha a decade later - indeed, only it's originators (specifically surfers) use it with any frequency anymore, and even they less than previously.
I love stuff like that. :)
I will now retract my earlier statement, and agree to "hope" - in light of it's now understood negative connotations - that "ghey" goes the way of "swell" and die off almost completely; or even better that it goes the way of "radical" and has but a short-lived stint in the common vocabulary (as "swell" lasted for decades).
:)
Earl_the_Pearl
07-30-2009, 03:31 PM
I will now retract my earlier statement, and agree to "hope" - in light of it's now understood negative connotations - that "ghey" goes the way of "swell" and die off almost completely; or even better that it goes the way of "radical" and has but a short-lived stint in the common vocabulary (as "swell" lasted for decades).
I would hope gay also returns to its English meaning.
http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/251210.1020.A.jpg
lopaw
07-30-2009, 07:51 PM
Earl.....you scare me sometimes.
;D
Almost Jaded
07-30-2009, 10:15 PM
Only sometimes? :p
Earl_the_Pearl
07-31-2009, 12:26 AM
Only sometimes? :p
Like when you hear the visceral rumble of an American Muscle V8? :geezer:
mediocrity
07-31-2009, 01:45 AM
^^ Oh for once, stay on topic and quit being inflammatory and missing the point on purporse.
Almost Jaded
07-31-2009, 02:46 AM
Nah, he's just under the mistaken impression that the sound of the 472 equipped with headers and Flowmaster 20's I'm converting to EFI in the 1967 Cadillac DeVille Convertible I'm restoring doesn't get my juices flowing.
Earl, I promise you, hen it shakes the earth I love it just fine. I tell ya', those Caddy long stroke big blocks just can't be topped.
I love the supercharged 2.0 liter car in a completely different way.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm a real car guy all the way around. ;)
femmefatale88
08-01-2009, 01:43 AM
I am posting this here so I can get input from guys and girls alike. These two scenarios gave me a serious 'WTF just happened?' vibe so maybe someone can help me out.
Situation A: Yesterday, I sat with a very nice gentleman and his friend. The man bought me a drink, told me how pretty I was, how much he liked me etc. I proceeded to ask him for a dance, and he said no, he doesn't do dances. I sat and chatted for approximately ten more minutes, then told him I had to go do some dances, but would be around. He looked upset, so I mentioned very tactfully that we also accept and appreciate tips for our time, if he would like me to stay. He then hands me $10 and says "You've ruined our relationship. Here's ten dollars, and don't come back." WTF HAPPENED? In my eyes, he didn't want me to leave, he didn't want dances, so I provided him with an alternative.
Situation B: This has happened to me a milion god damn times. Guy seems super cool, we get along great, he asks what I like to do other than work. I list some of my hobbies. He then proceeds to ask me what I plan to do after dancing. Trusting my rapport with the customer, I am honest about it. He then tells me like likes me as a person and thinks I am cool, but can't get a dance because "Now I respect you too much and it would be weird", but generally tips me for the time. WTF? Respects me too much to get a dance? What the shit is that? This happens to me like once a week.
Shed any light, anyone? This really annoys me.
Well with situation A, after he refused a dance you should have moved right on right away. Asking for a tip for your time seems kind of rude and tactless to me for some reason. If they give it to you great if not, leave.
Situation B: I learned that when I act ditzy but sexy and cute and don't act all intelligent and reveal that I'm in school I make more money. No one wants to objectify a girl with a brain I guess. If they delve and ask personal questions, just say thats a personal question....
lmiller22134
08-01-2009, 12:08 PM
They're playing "pickup" games... plain and simple... There's a bunch of "guides" out there on how to "pick up" or "score" with strippers... They all agree that a guy should never pay for dances,... that's supposed to make you think he is "different" from all the other PLs at the SC...
How to Pick Up a Stripper in 5 Simple Steps
Step #4- Don't be like other guys
Your actions inside the club will dictate how a stripper will perceive you. A stripper will be attracted to you if you appear to not care about her affections.
This means sitting away from the main stage area where the girls are dancing, NOT tipping the dancers, tipping the bartender WELL, avoiding the standard "stripper services", and engaging other people in conversations.
Don’t Buy a Private Dance
If you buy a lap dance you are instantly entered into a business transaction with the girl and you are just another sad bum who only wants her for her body. You, of course, understand that she is more deep and complex and has far more to offer a man than just her looks. Seriously though, this is the number one rule because if you are paying for her to rub her body against you then you are just a mark.
Seducing strippers is a GAME where you don’t allow her to pull her “customer” frame on you. As long as you do not become her customer, you can get her.
NEVER EVER act as a customer. Strippers make money off exploiting customers - and they know it. If you act at all like another customer, you'll just be another loser to them. They will use every trick in the book to get you to part with your money, like make you think that they’re all into you.
I googled "how to pickup a stripper" and found so many "guides" on picking up strippers,... its just ridiculous...
Many more...
That is so ridiculous. A stripper will be attracted to you if she is attracted to you, plain and simple. Attraction is not something you can manipulate! Though I will tell you that if a stripper isattracted to you and you DONT tip her or buy dances, that attraction is going to fade extremely fast, because not only does itmake you look like an asshole who doesnt have to try to impress her, but it shows you have no respect for the fact that she is at work.
Would a waitress go out with a guy who stiffs her on a tip? NO.
Well, then you're a terrible business person. If a guy spends that much money tipping you and you start dating him, you've just annihilated that source of income... I would NEVER date my highest paying clients...
The concept is this: (1) if you buy dances you become a "customer" and a source of income... which is incompatible with being a BF, and (2) if you buy dances you become a horny PL like every other guy in the SC...
Also, from the guy's standpoint, if I spend shitload of money on a dancer and she treats me special, I have no way of knowing whether she really likes me or not... and ALL the threads on this subject have been unanimous --- she only likes him as a customer...
That is absolutely ridiculous. all business relationships come to an end eventually, especially at a strip club. How many girls out there have regulars that last more than 2 months? I mean really...anddd...a source of income is completely compatible with being a bf, especially since men have been the providers since the beginning of time. not saying you need to be rich to get a girlfriend, but your logic is horribly flawed. also, buying dances does not automatically make you horny. When i go to a club i buy dances, and im not even into girls!
If agirl is nice to you at the club then she either likes you or she is a good actress. Just because she likes you doesnt mean she is going to date you! I like plenty of my friends but dont date any of them...though on the other hand i do see where you are coming from on that last point and i for one cannot stand unappreciative girls who act flirty and sweet with customers then talk shit about him when theyre in the dressing room. They are the reason why some customers are bitter and i wish girls didnt act so ridiculously fake for a buck.
I'm saying a guy would make a better impression by not getting a LD (and therefore, avoiding the dirty "custie" label), but paying something for the dancer's time so as to show he understands her job and not to piss her off (specially, if she is having a bad night)...
ARGGGG precisely why i cannot stand these fake bitches who talk shit about customers behind their back but act super sweet to their face. They are the reason you think we call you "dirty custie" My customers are NOT DIRTY! The only ones that are are the grabby assholes or the guys that ask me for extras. If you keep your hands out of my private parts, don't treat me like a cheap whore, and behave during dances, YOU ARE NOT A DIRTY CUSTIE and not only have you won my respect but you are the reason I dance. If all customers were dirty I would have quit this job ages ago.
I have heard dancers say (in this forum and in conversation with them in the SC) - that what impressed them about their BF (who they met in the SC) was that he did not ask for a dance from them or anyone else at the SC... Unless these dancers lied when they said this (for what reason?), there is at least some dancers that prefer this... So, I can't be totally wrong... and I'm sure that you're not totally wrong, either... Can we compromise? Or,... are you too argumentative to agree to a compromise?
How about you provide some links to dancers saying their boyfriend never bought a dance and i will show you the part you chose to ignore when they said that their bf tipped them for their time or was making it rain on stage. Not buying a dance doesnt mean not spending money.
If a guy talked to 10 dancer's a night, in 10 visits he'd statistically find a receptive dancer.
Since when has dating been a numbers game? Whatever happened to only dating people you have genuine chemistry with? i think another reason why dancers refuse todate customers is becausea lot of customers go to the club with the intention of finding a girlfriend (or what they should really call it, free sex slave). He doesnt care WHICH girl it is as long as he finds one. Have some freaking standards people. I date people when I have chemistry with them, not because they are "hot" or have a "sexy job" or seem "easy." If you just want to get laid, hire a freaking hooker and leave us alone.
Going to a strip club to get laid is not much different than going ANYWHERE to get laid. if your intention is to get laid, ANYWHERE, not just a strip club, then women are not going to be nice to you. We dont like to be treated like free whores, PERIOD. Meet me at the library, grocery store, beach, and if i even remotely sense you are just going up to every single girl hoping one will bite I will ignore you if not curse you out or give you the finger. It is pretty freaking obvious when a guy is just trying to pick up on you because you have a pussy, and that is probably the top reason most men who try to date strippers fail, because women in GENERAL, not just strippers, do not like being treated like expendable pieces of meat. Dating a stripper, or anyone, PERIOD, is not something you should plan, its something that just HAPPENS
People are people, and when chemistry strikes between two people, it strikes, whether any money has been spent. And by avoiding the VIP's, the customer would be saving money, on what is admittedly, a long shot anyhow. Why throw good money after bad?
Sure it does...and then the chemistry dissipates after the guy disrespects the girl by not spending money on her AT HER PLACE OF WORK. the girl would have to have insanely low self worth or major issues to go out with a customer who refuses to spend money on her. Any customer who refuses to spend money on a dancer he claims to like clearly feels he is superior to her and that his presence is more than enough and he does not need to "try." Smart women can usually spot this as a sign of a potential cheater and abuser.
In these trying times I can not tip all dancers equally. I do tip the ones that I find entertaining more then the ones I don't. This still causes friction.
If you are so broke why are you at the club in the first place? Strip clubs are a luxury expense not a basic human need. There are no food stamps for strip clubs for people on welfare
That is how dancers hustle; they encourage these feelings. Most dancers hold customers in contempt; especially the so called strip club junkie.
NO! No they dont! it makes me so sad to see men think this! It has also obviously made you very bitter. but you really cant blame anyone but yourself. there are always obvious signs of when you are dealing with a stripper who is going to talk shit about you behind your back. It is your own fault for "falling" for a stripper who sweet talks you and caresses you before a dance has even started. THOSE girls are manipulative and sometimes heartless yes, but not ALL dancers do this, and most guys can easily see through this which is why they STILL get rejected even though theyre acting all lovey dovey, also why i refuse to do this. Seriously think about it, if you meet a girl anywhere and she is attracted to you, she is not going to sit on your lap and nuzzle your ear....it just doesnt happen! This ONLY happens at a strip club because it is an ARTIFICIAL environment. do not take a girl being flirty with you in that manner as a sign of interest, because quite frankly if that were to happen to you anywhere else you would just find it bizarre. If she does this stuff to you inside the club it simply means she is being very aggressive and most likely does it with everyone, it does not mean she likes you!
If youre too easily manipulated then go with the dancer that respects your personal space and doesnt plop herself on your lap, the one who doesnt tell you you look handsome because quite frankly you probably DONT. The one who is OBVIOUSLY not lying and is just trying to sell you an honest dance and isnt trying to manipulate you into giving her your whole paycheck. the one with a conscience...there are lots of them out there trust me! These girls make it easier for you to know she is simply providing a service and not in love with you.
Otoki
08-03-2009, 01:48 PM
Well with situation A, after he refused a dance you should have moved right on right away. Asking for a tip for your time seems kind of rude and tactless to me for some reason. If they give it to you great if not, leave.
Situation B: I learned that when I act ditzy but sexy and cute and don't act all intelligent and reveal that I'm in school I make more money. No one wants to objectify a girl with a brain I guess. If they delve and ask personal questions, just say thats a personal question....
I disagree. My club has a good number of customers who come in and just want to chat. I had one of those last night. I tried to close on a dance sale, and he said he wasn't into dances but was enjoying the conversation. I told him he was welcome to pay me for my time, and we could hang out. We figured out a rate ($40 for 6 songs, since it was $10 dance night) and he told me he appreciated me being up front about being compensated, and that he was more than happy to pay for chatting.
Maybe it depends on the club, but there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with asking to be compensated for your time if the guy doesn't want dances, but still wants your company./:O
WestCoast101
08-13-2009, 10:43 PM
Generally 90% of the time am the one approaching dancers as I don't wait around for them to approach me, however in a case where the dancer walks up to the customer and starts a conversation and the customer, often basically in an effort to just to be polite then contines the conversation - well in that case, demanding payment for the conversation. lets say 5 to 10 minutes could be a problem. Personally I would slip them some bucks even in that case, but I can understand some guys not responding particularly well in some circumstances