View Full Version : holding hands
dlabtot
10-13-2009, 01:07 PM
I love holding hands. I think it's meaning changes depending on whose hand you hold.
A customer in the club - come with me
A child - I'm keeping you safe
Your best friend - We are close
Your soul mate - I cherish and love you
Your fuck buddy - I want to be intimate with you in this moment only
Spot on.
mediocrity
10-13-2009, 01:42 PM
^So you can't just hold hands to be close to eachother?
I know right? Though in my relationship it's not as much hand holding as him slinging his arm over my shoulders while we walk around etc. But yeah. It isn't a precursor to anything else necessarily. We just like to be close.
Naida
10-13-2009, 11:14 PM
^Love this image.
Thanks! ^_^
I do it quite often, especially with nicer customers. Since my club requires customers to prepay for dances, that means they need to walk from their seat on the floor to the bar that's a bit off to the side, then from the bar back across the floor to the other side of the club to the rooms/VIP. Doing all that walking is a bit impersonal (and impersonality gives that effect of "I'm only doing this to get your cash". No matter how true it is, I'm smart enough to figure customers don't like the feeling to be apparent) if I'm not making some kind of physical contact, so I'll lead them with a handshake-style grasp.
The ones that get grabby but are otherwise nice (you know, the guys who are sweet but drunk, a little too affectionate but not grabbing at my bits, etc), I'll push their hands back to a comfortable spot and keep my hands over theirs.
The creepy perverts- no more physical contact than absolutely necessary to do my job. If you're walking slower than me, all you get is to follow my ass while I walk, and if I have to remind you more than once that it's hands off, I'm out.
I don't play that nonsense.
jack0177057
10-14-2009, 10:02 AM
^So you can't just hold hands to be close to eachother?
Yes, and I make love to her to be close to each other, too.
I've read somewhere that foreplay is what you during the 24 hours before sex. Every little gesture, remark and touch - either increases or decreases the likelihood of mutual desire for lovemaking. Handholding is where it all starts... it is the initial point of physical contact and joining together.
I'm not saying that if we hold hands, I'm going to rush her to my place three minutes later, strip her clothes and have sex with her... But, it starts the process which might progress rapidly or slowly, depending on her. Holding hands stimulates the same hormones that are involved in lovemaking - oxytocin, dopamine, testosterone and estrogen.
Oxytocin causes feelings of both bonding and sexual arousal with a love interest. These two feelings are related. So, if holding hands produces the feelings of bonding and attachment, caused by oxytocin, this same hormone will also lead to sexual arousal.
audrey_k
10-14-2009, 10:05 AM
Holding hands doesn't mean shit to me, sorry. I usually avoid because I find it's awkward, I don't like holding hands OTC either.
JayATee
10-14-2009, 10:07 AM
Yes, and I make love to her to be close to each other, too.
I've read somewhere that foreplay is what you during the 24 hours before sex. Every little gesture, remark and touch - either increases or decreases the likelihood of mutual desire for lovemaking. Handholding is where it all starts... it is the initial point of physical contact and joining together.
Sounds like bs to me. My husband and I hold hands, doesn't mean Im gonna have sex with him that instant or even that day. My sister and I hold hands ALL the time and theres nothing sexual behind it (obviously). Holding hands shows love and affection. It doesn't = sex. If you can't touch her in any way but a sexual one I think you need some help.
jack0177057
10-14-2009, 10:28 AM
If you can't touch her in any way but a sexual one I think you need some help.
Only if one of us complains about it... Hasn't happened yet... I can't separate feelings of love and sexual interest in my romantic relationships. If I am attracted to someone, both emotionally and physically, these feelings just blend together. I'm not saying I'm horny ALL the time, but it doesn't take much from the person I love to get me aroused.
Earl_the_Pearl
10-14-2009, 03:26 PM
Holding hands shows love and affection.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v17/earlcamembert/bush-holding-hands-with-saudi-royal.jpg
It doesn't = sex.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v17/earlcamembert/bushkiss-1.jpg
Really?
jack0177057
10-14-2009, 04:22 PM
^^^ What they did after their meeting is their business...
Earl_the_Pearl
10-15-2009, 07:04 AM
^^^ What they did after their meeting is their business...
Don't ask; don't tell.
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-15-2009, 08:14 PM
In those days too much affection from someone used to make me feel very uncomfortable. Add to that all the PDA stuff she did, it all got on my nerve.
Whoa, I am going to agree with this here. Pigs are flying? When I've dated guys that were too needy, too possessive, and too doting, it would bug the crap out of me when they tried to hold my hand in public, because I felt they were doing it to show others that I belonged to them, not out of light-hearted affection.
Also, sometimes its cumbersome to walk around and do stuff holding hands, especially with a height difference.
As for custies...well, with the shit I've seen and done at clubs, hand-holding is as innocuous as a wave, and I'd much rather do that than suckle on a dirty little cock.
johnnytwoshoes
10-16-2009, 08:12 PM
Holding hands? It's sweet I suppose on a first date. Innocent. Interesting to hold someone's hand for the first time.
Cyril
10-21-2009, 09:14 PM
Whoa, I am going to agree with this here. Pigs are flying? When I've dated guys that were too needy, too possessive, and too doting, it would bug the crap out of me when they tried to hold my hand in public, because I felt they were doing it to show others that I belonged to them, not out of light-hearted affection.
Also, sometimes its cumbersome to walk around and do stuff holding hands, especially with a height difference.
As for custies...well, with the shit I've seen and done at clubs, hand-holding is as innocuous as a wave, and I'd much rather do that than suckle on a dirty little cock.
I thank you for showing the courage to agree with me, knowing fully well that the anti Cyril cabal will make a note of this. I think there are lots of women here who agree with me; they just do not want to come out openly due to fear.
I mean:
How can you not agree with me?
How can you not like me?
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-22-2009, 02:09 PM
I missed you Cyril!!
Cyril
10-22-2009, 03:59 PM
I missed you Cyril!!
You gave me a very mushy mushy feeling. Thank you!
I would like to have coffee with you when I pass through Texas next time.
charlie61
10-22-2009, 08:18 PM
^ Smooth transition there...
^ Smooth transition there...
Ha! Cyril, charlie has your number LOL
FBR
Cyril
10-23-2009, 03:02 AM
Ha! Cyril, charlie has your number LOL
FBR
I hope so.
Charlie is a goddess of beauty. It is Charlie's dark long hair that inspired me to write following about Meara in that ill fated novel called Immaculate Love:
Her dark wavy hair rivaled the beauty of the picturesque clouds looming over the mountains.
Elvia
10-23-2009, 01:25 PM
I don't really like to hold hands in a club. It feels to much like a SO thing. I've had a few good regulars who I would tolerate it with though.
I get turned off by guys who are too shy about PDA. I'm a pretty touchy-feely person and I feel most comfortable with a guy who is too. It feels too stilted and ridiculous when someone doesn't want to hold hands or kiss in public. I don't want to feel like I'm dating in the Victorian age, thanks.
Naida
10-23-2009, 02:03 PM
I get turned off by guys who are too shy about PDA. I'm a pretty touchy-feely person and I feel most comfortable with a guy who is too. It feels too stilted and ridiculous when someone doesn't want to hold hands or kiss in public. I don't want to feel like I'm dating in the Victorian age, thanks.
On dates, I mostly agree about the lack of hand holding. If I'm walking with a date and have a hand free to do it, I like to hold hands, but if I'm carrying something (food, purse, bags) I prefer just to walk close to each other or his arm around my shoulders.
The kissing is a different story though. In that respect, I do take a very Victorian stance. While I don't mind kissing a date in public, I mostly only do it if he kisses me. I kiss them when we're away from others, or in a party type of surrounding when we're off to the side and everyone else is distracted. There's something about the mild secrecy that makes it that much more intimate and romantic. =^_^=
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-23-2009, 02:50 PM
Well, I had sex in a very public place with my SO a few days ago, so PDA isn't an issue, lol. I like holding hands for a few moments a time, like driving in the car, or in bed watching a movie. That's sweet. None of that has anything to do with ITC though.
Wait, I remembered something else. Often, if I'm holding custies hands in the SC, its usually to keep them from touching and trying to grope me innapropriately. I'd rather hold their hands, than they hold my boobies.