View Full Version : Living with a boyfriend while stripping.
goreantx
07-30-2009, 03:15 PM
As far as your comment goes, anything valid you said was completely negated when you stated that in so many words that we need someone at home that keeps us from doing extras and drugs. First of, you need to be happy with yourself, not depend on some else to make you feel "amazing".
Also the "White Knight" customer complex is not true at all necessarily and is a terrible assumption. Relationships aren't that easy to get out of and you shouldn't assume someone would compromise themselves further to run to a sugar daddy. That is not avery hopeful and is basically equivalent to saying, you'll be okay, because you're pretty and you'll only have to be one man's prostitute to get away from the man that abuses you. Not hopeful or helpful. Please be more conscientious before posting next time and remember the saying "assuming makes an ass of you and me!"
:O Yikes
I think having an abusive boyfriend/hubby at home makes girls more likely to do extras. They have to bring home the cash to keep from being abused. Their self esteem gets trashed, so they are less likely to respect themselves at work. They aren't perky enough to hustle so they just take what they can get.
Sorry I offended you so much :-\
Naida
07-31-2009, 07:00 AM
:O Yikes
I think having an abusive boyfriend/hubby at home makes girls more likely to do extras. They have to bring home the cash to keep from being abused. Their self esteem gets trashed, so they are less likely to respect themselves at work. They aren't perky enough to hustle so they just take what they can get.
Sorry I offended you so much :-\
Actually, that's a tad conflicting.
If they bring home too little, they're abused.
If they bring home too much, they're abused, not just for "not having enough" money, but also for the suspicion their abuser gets that they're doing extras/cheating, whether they're actually doing them or not.
Myself personally, if I HAD to chose, would rather just be beat for the money rather than far worse for extras. And the additional beating WOULD be worse, because cheating threatens an abusers control more than money that he sees as something he can just take away.
But that's my opinion.
Gia2608
07-31-2009, 08:58 PM
guys, the op was a guest w 3 posts- i dont think shes coming back (truth hurts)
Or her Pimp found her posts and won't "let her" come back. Kinda like that other little one in IL a few months back. Maybe we should round up all the pimps and send them check for land mines overseas.
Otoki
08-01-2009, 03:10 AM
After reading this-
FUCKING LEAVE HIS ASS NOW!
If his name is not on the lease, and you are worried about him trying something, call your landlord and the police and have them present when you tell him to get out. If he leaves marks when he puts his hands on you, show the cops. Show your landlord the property damage. File for a restraining order.
THIS IS THE KIND OF GUY WHO DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE JOB. HE WILL REACT THIS WAY TO EVERY JOB. THIS GUY IS AN ABUSER AND ABUSERS RARELY, IF EVER, CHANGE. HIS BEHAVIOR WILL ONLY ESCALATE IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE HIM.
Thank you. The job is not the problem. No matter what your job may be, if he is being violent/abusive then get the fuck out.
Otoki
08-01-2009, 03:11 AM
:O Yikes
I think having an abusive boyfriend/hubby at home makes girls more likely to do extras. They have to bring home the cash to keep from being abused. Their self esteem gets trashed, so they are less likely to respect themselves at work. They aren't perky enough to hustle so they just take what they can get.
Sorry I offended you so much :-\
Once again, total oversimplification, plus it doesn't match up to much of what the OP says. He beats her whether she makes money or not, not because she's not making "enough".
black_widow
08-02-2009, 05:33 AM
Any man worth your while won't be into you stripping. That's just how it works.
That being said, I've lived with numerous significant others while dancing and this is how it's worked:
If I was with a girl, it was usually a fellow dancer and for obvious reasons, there wasn't much of a problem. I've never dated any woman that wasn't a dancer, or at least and ex-dancer who totally understood the business.
If I was with a man, obviously things were different. In most cases, they didn't work and I was the sole money earner, so that right there killed a lot of the objections they had about my work, because they knew that if I quit dancing, their fun money would disappear as well. However, eventually it would come up in conversation/argument and I learned a few things:
a) When you leave for work, don't leave in something skimpy. Just dress in your normal clothes, and try to do your makeup/hair at work, or have the makeup guy do it for you. That way, the last thing he sees of you for the night isn't some image of his woman all glammed up out to meet random dudes and to rub all over them. It's kinda stupid and super simple, but I've found it helps a lot.
b) ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS say goodbye before you leave! Kiss him, hug him whatever, just so he knows that he's YOUR MAN. Again stupid and simple, but it helps.
c) Never ever have him come into your work. EVER. Never have his friends or anyone he knows come in. If they do come in, go home. Seems dramatic but again, it helps. If his friends see you at work then they will undoubtedly relay what you did to him, and it will start him thinking on the true nature of your job (which is what you want him NOT to focus on).
d) Never ever talk about work around him! Don't tell him stories about your night, don't talk about the customers, the girls, ect. It sucks, but it only reinforces to him exactly what you're doing. Just say "hey it was a good night" all the time, even if it wasn't. You have friends to bitch to, blogs to bitch on. He doesn't need to hear about it.
e) NEVER EVER EVER show him the money you've made! Don't count it in front of him, don't talk about figures. It's YOUR MONEY and yours alone so keep it to yourself and if he asks for specifics, just say "it was a good night".
f) Treat stripping like a JOB. Have a set schedule, be on time, be professional, and don't let your job and personal life mix. Even though it's fun to hang out with people from your work, if you do, he may think that because you're ok with doing that, and bending work/personal boundries, that you would be willing to do it with customers too. Just go to work, do your thing, be nice to your co-workers, but maintain a professional distance.
g) NEVER EVER COME HOME DRUNK/HIGH!!! This is big. He will think that because you are mentally compromised that people have taken advantage of you or that your boundries have lowered (which they often do). SO just stay sober! It IS possible!
h) NEVER EVER EVER let him know if your regulars contact you outside of the club i.e. by phone or email. I know it's totally harmless to let your good customers know your number so they can ask if you're going in, or if you have a guy that seriously JUST wants to eat lunch with you once a month in exchange for 500 bucks, but your boyfriend won't get it. He will think you are fucking them, doing terrible things with them, ect and no amount of explaining will make him understand that SOME GUYS just want to give you money in exchange for nothing other than purely platonic attention. Never let him see the emails/texts/phone calls, or just STOP THEM ALTOGETHER.
Beyond that, just make sure you treat dancing LIKE A JOB, that you act professional, and just do everything you can to make him realize that it's your profession, NOT your lifestyle. Do what you can to make him forget as much as possible that you are a dancer and do what you can to make him forget what dancers actually do.
If you do this, it IS possible to live with your significant other and to dance at the same time. Just expect to have to make it less of your life than if you were just living alone.