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JayATee
08-09-2009, 07:38 PM
Out of curiosity, where are you from, Cyril?

He never answers this question... probably something to do with privacy... only everyone else is expected to tell the truth. ::)

WiseGuy_TX
08-09-2009, 08:16 PM
...Cyril is from the land of voltabianca (which has gone offline) where PL's dream about loving strippers. Hence the novel.

Cyril
08-09-2009, 08:22 PM
He never answers this question... probably something to do with privacy... only everyone else is expected to tell the truth. ::)

I have given way too much information about myself and I regret that already.

Cyril
08-09-2009, 08:26 PM
...Cyril is from the land of voltabianca (which has gone offline) where PL's dream about loving strippers. Hence the novel.

Although your post does not deserve a response but I will indulge.

The novel does encapsulate my fantasy about strippers. The lead man will be my alter ego, a man I could have become, i.e., a lover of a stripper.

mediocrity
08-09-2009, 11:10 PM
You are not qualified to call others stupid. It is like pot calling kettle black.

Haha, wow. Coming from Captain Would You Like A Squishy. Good times.

I have a dual degree in Mathematics and Molecular Biology from a University that is considered the Harvard of Canada. No way in hell are you callin' me stupid.

Though at least by calling yourself the pot, you are admitting some level of idiocy.

JayATee
08-09-2009, 11:35 PM
Haha, wow. Coming from Captain Would You Like A Squishy. Good times.

I have a dual degree in Mathematics and Molecular Biology from a Univeristy that is considered the Harvard of Canada. No way in hell are you callin' me stupid.

Though at least by calling yourself the pot, you are admitting some level of idiocy.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I seriously <3 you.

verfolgung
08-10-2009, 12:14 PM
Chapter – Six
The Sniff

... Anatole and his team did a very thorough job in finding out all the pertinent information. They stayed at the location for several days, hiding during the day and venturing out at night. Now, it was time to return to the command and control center with all the vital intelligence.

This is the supposed to be the story of a "stipper and a PL" right?

Why did the reconnaissance patrol have to sneak around? They should have just sent a messenger to the town elders and asked to schedule a private tour. That way they wouldn't have to risk any casualties blindly. ;)

http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?p=1833794#post1833794

Cyril
08-10-2009, 07:26 PM
I have said it before and I will say it again. I seriously <3 you.

You love her because she is being mean to me.

Will a love based on such weak foundation stand the real test?

Cyril
08-10-2009, 07:29 PM
Haha, wow. Coming from Captain Would You Like A Squishy. Good times.



What does that mean? /:O




I have a dual degree in Mathematics ...



Go for triple next time.

mediocrity
08-10-2009, 07:29 PM
You love her because she is being mean to me.

Will a love based on such weak foundation stand the real test?

Don't worry, our wedding is next week.

Cyril
08-10-2009, 07:31 PM
Why did the reconnaissance patrol have to sneak around? They should have just sent a messenger to the town elders and asked to schedule a private tour. That way they wouldn't have to risk any casualties blindly. ;)



There is a difference between a military operation and a business operation. Just an FYI for you.

WiseGuy_TX
08-10-2009, 08:34 PM
There is a difference between a military operation and a business operation. Just an FYI for you....the Iraqis would disagree.

Cyril
08-10-2009, 08:43 PM
...the Iraqis would disagree.

Military operation can be needed to safeguard a business operation but it is conducted differently.

In the case of Iraq, military operation was used to take over its business operation (oil).

WiseGuy_TX
08-10-2009, 08:49 PM
Military operation can be needed to safeguard a business operation but it is conducted differently.

In the case of Iraq, military operation was used to take over its business operation (oil)....yes, that's one way to look at.

Dirty Ernie
08-10-2009, 09:08 PM
WTF is this? "Closer" meets the "300"? I've just returned from the desert (viva LV) and I'm having a hard time reading this while keeping my oil lamp lit in my Bedouin tent cuz I'm loling so hard.

First rule of marketing: Know Your Audience

Hard to fault Cyril here cuz, like the DreamGirls thread, he posts strictly for the mob living in his brain. I'm afraid the rest of us must stew in our envy.

JayATee
08-10-2009, 09:39 PM
Don't worry, our wedding is next week.

Promises promises!

Only in my dreams. ;)

Shy_Guy
08-10-2009, 11:42 PM
resulting in Sethos getting his hands on several beautiful and trained entertainers at no casualty.


OK, I'd love to hear how he did that! I always get tazed. :O


But seriously, I am pretty sure they weren't called "entertainers." That's a bit of an anachronism, isn't it?


P.S. JayATee, bring back the old avatar!

WiseGuy_TX
08-11-2009, 05:30 AM
OK, I'd love to hear how he did that! I always get tazed. :O...SG, Cyril has a fetish for "trained strippers". We see this theme here and we saw it in the Dream Girls thread. I thought Cyril would have fallen in love with mediocrity with all her math training. Maybe it's just "Stepford Wife" training he craves. ..oh well.

Hopper
08-11-2009, 06:01 AM
Haha, wow. Coming from Captain Would You Like A Squishy. Good times.

I have a dual degree in Mathematics and Molecular Biology from a University that is considered the Harvard of Canada. No way in hell are you callin' me stupid.

Though at least by calling yourself the pot, you are admitting some level of idiocy.

He called you the pot.

Not sure I believe you about the dual degree. A dual degree holder wouldn't entertain herself by talking to an idiot, even for laughs (and I am not laughing). I suspect that this claim is part of the mindfuck.

If you do have a degree, I must conclude that you don't really think Cyril is stupid.

QED

verfolgung
08-11-2009, 07:16 AM
^If you are really annoyed of offended by him, you can just put him on ignore. Live and let live. You and mediocrity sound like you enjoy the conflict. You talk to him a lot for someone you can't stand.
I have to modify my original statement to this:

I think both of them have crush on us. :D lol :D


Nah, I doubt either of them would want to do anything that might jeapordize the bromance between you and Hopper. :D

verfolgung
08-11-2009, 08:22 AM
... It is better to prove your intellect by your writing capabilities because that is the only tangible means we have to assess each others intellect. ...


Really? So how do we "assess" someone who doesn't even grasp the proper use of articles (a/an/the) in their writing?




<Inserts in RED>
Chapter – Four
The Route

... “Yesterday, I had an in depth discussion with Nikon regarding our upcoming expedition to an unknown land called Hibernia. (If it's "unknown" how did they know to name it?) After considering arguments for and against the expedition, I have decided to go forth with it.” Sethos paused briefly and then continued, “We will set sail from Konossos towards <Deleted "the"> Sarausa. ... According to my information <the> Carthage navy has approximately three hundred warships...

“Should we co-ordinate our sail so that we leave Sarausa in the early evening to avoid detection by <the> Carthage navy?” ... Any contact with <the> Carthage navy would be fatal for the mission and the crews. ...

Shy_Guy
08-11-2009, 09:57 AM
^ Change "unknown" to "unexplored."

Cyril
08-11-2009, 06:31 PM
^ Change "unknown" to "unexplored."

You are correct. "Unexplored" would have been a better choice of word. But keep in mind when you are attempting to write a novel, grammar is the last thing your mind is thinking about; you have to think about geography, history, customs, etc. It is an interesting experience though. I am loving it.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 06:33 PM
Really? So how do we "assess" someone who doesn't even grasp the proper use of articles (a/an/the) in their writing?

Dude,

Relax! We do acknowledge your status as an exemplary PL. You are in no danger of loosing it. No one can challenge you for that status.

:D

Cyril
08-11-2009, 06:34 PM
But seriously, I am pretty sure they weren't called "entertainers." That's a bit of an anachronism, isn't it?


Entertainers were called entertainers. Of course.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 06:36 PM
...SG, Cyril has a fetish for "trained strippers". We see this theme here and we saw it in the Dream Girls thread. I thought Cyril would have fallen in love with mediocrity with all her math training. Maybe it's just "Stepford Wife" training he craves. ..oh well.

You are getting better at your jokes. That was the first funny post I have seen from you. Good job.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 06:38 PM
WTF is this? "Closer" meets the "300"? I've just returned from the desert (viva LV) and I'm having a hard time reading this while keeping my oil lamp lit in my Bedouin tent cuz I'm loling so hard.

First rule of marketing: Know Your Audience

Hard to fault Cyril here cuz, like the DreamGirls thread, he posts strictly for the mob living in his brain. I'm afraid the rest of us must stew in our envy.

First thing you need to do is relax. I am having fun writing this novel and I will continue to write it for so called "mob in my head". No body is putting gun to your head to read it. Have you not heard of a thing called logic?

verfolgung
08-11-2009, 08:07 PM
... But keep in mind when you are attempting to write a novel, grammar is the last thing your mind is thinking about; you have to think about geography, history, customs, etc. It is an interesting experience though. I am loving it.

Grammer is the last thing on your mind? Okay. ::)

Apparantly you may have to "think" about the history, but you've allowed youself to use plenty of artistic license.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 08:12 PM
Grammer is the last thing on your mind? Okay. ::)

Apparantly you may have to "think" about the history, but you've allowed youself to use plenty of artistic license.

It is not as easy it looks. You have to do research into history, geography, cluture, etc but it is fun. I am enjoying it.

verfolgung
08-11-2009, 08:18 PM
^^^ You may have researched some things, but not everything in your novel lines up correctly. Like I said, you've used plenty of artistic license to put different periods of time together.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 08:20 PM
^^^ You may have researched some things, but not everything in your novel lines up correctly. Like I said, you've used plenty of artistic license to put different periods of time together.

Go ahead and mention it. If you are correct, I will modify the script.

WiseGuy_TX
08-11-2009, 08:37 PM
You are getting better at your jokes. That was the first funny post I have seen from you. Good job....thanks. Maybe there is hope for you after all.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 08:39 PM
...thanks. Maybe there is hope for you after all.

Of course. There is a hope for all of us including you and I.

JayATee
08-11-2009, 10:51 PM
Of course. There is a hope for all of us including you and I.

Ugh, really dude? You're trying to write a novel and you can't even speak properly?

You do not say there is hope for "I". You say there is hope for "me".

The proper sentence would read:
There is hope for us all including you and me.

Although frankly, this is redundant. When you say there is hope for us all that includes "you and me".

Stop wasting words to make yourself sound important. You're not Dickens, so you're not being paid by the word.

vmurphy252
08-11-2009, 11:08 PM
Dude,

Relax! We do acknowledge your status as an exemplary PL. You are in no danger of loosing it. No one can challenge you for that status.

:D
Ok, this is not directed solely at Cyril, but how come people do not know that indicating the loss of something is spelled losing, not loosing? Loosing is to make something loose, not the act of loss. At least 50% of the posts using that word have it spelled incorrectly. If it was a once in a while thing, I would say "typo", but too many people do it repetitively.

Ok, end of pet-peeve rant.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 11:54 PM
Ok, this is not directed solely at Cyril, but how come people do not know that indicating the loss of something is spelled losing, not loosing? Loosing is to make something loose, not the act of loss. At least 50% of the posts using that word have it spelled incorrectly. If it was a once in a while thing, I would say "typo", but too many people do it repetitively.

Ok, end of pet-peeve rant.

For some twist of fate, I got lucky in this case. I think both "loose" and "lose" make sense in this context.

Cyril
08-11-2009, 11:56 PM
Ugh, really dude? You're trying to write a novel and you can't even speak properly?

You do not say there is hope for "I". You say there is hope for "me".

The proper sentence would read:
There is hope for us all including you and me.

Although frankly, this is redundant. When you say there is hope for us all that includes "you and me".

Stop wasting words to make yourself sound important. You're not Dickens, so you're not being paid by the word.

It is I who decides whether there is hope for I or me. :)

JayATee
08-12-2009, 12:01 AM
It is I who decides whether there is hope for I or me. :)

Umm... no. Learn to speak or stop posting this ridiculous drivel while expecting us all to take you seriously. This is beyond pathetic.

Cyril
08-12-2009, 12:22 AM
Umm... no. Learn to speak or stop posting this ridiculous drivel while expecting us all to take you seriously. This is beyond pathetic.

Show me where I asked you to take me seriously. I think you are volunteering your seriousness.

You will force your point more impressively if you do not make any grammatical mistakes yourself. It will be more credible if you make your point through your actions instead of your words. This is exactly what I told your friend Mediocrity.

Cyril
08-12-2009, 12:50 AM
It is perfectly all right to criticize but you have to earn the credibility before your criticism will be considered. Few suggestions for folks who wish to write polemics:

- If you want to criticize someone's grammar, at least make sure that your grammar itself is sound

- If you say there are some inconsistencies then point out those inconsistencies

- If you say Cyril's writing style is cold then define what you consider cold and then pick some excerpts to illustrate your point

- Once again make your point through your action not through your tall claims like your triple degrees in molecular biology, which I have no use for

verfolgung
08-12-2009, 08:33 AM
- If you want to criticize someone's grammar, at least make sure that your grammar itself is sound: Not speaking for those who comment on general posts, but the grammar in your novel is fair game since it is supposed to be a piece of legitimate writing, not a form of informal banter. One need not have proper grammer in a general post to critique your formal writing.

- If you say there are some inconsistencies then point out those inconsistencies Why? Once you've been informed that they exist, then you should try to find them yourself. It is not up to us to correct all of your mistakes; it is up to you.

- If you say Cyril's writing style is cold then define what you consider cold and then pick some excerpts to illustrate your point Already been done. If you want more examples simply look at Chapters 1 through 6.

- Once again make your point through your action not through your tall claims like your triple degrees in molecular biology, which I have no use for. You can't criticise someone for providing their credentials when it's in response to an off-handed comment made by you questioning their level of inteligence.

Perry
08-12-2009, 11:16 AM
I'm going to ignore everything else here for a minute, and limit my questions. I'm a writer, and I probably wouldn't post anything I don't want stolen on the internet. I mean, okay, probably no one is going to steal Immaculate Love, but still - it's bad form.

Finish your first chapter, send it off to a publisher and see if they want it. Don't waste time on a product no one is going to buy. Try one of those penny romance publishers that have Fabio on the cover of their books or something. Don't try to use SW for free editing. Editors are professionals, they get paid for what they do, and you need one.

JayATee
08-12-2009, 11:21 AM
Show me where I asked you to take me seriously. I think you are volunteering your seriousness.



So basically what you're saying is that you're not here to post anything of value. Which means that you just admitted to being a troll. Good job!

Cyril
08-12-2009, 07:25 PM
- If you want to criticize someone's grammar, at least make sure that your grammar itself is sound: Not speaking for those who comment on general posts, but the grammar in your novel is fair game since it is supposed to be a piece of legitimate writing, not a form of informal banter. One need not have proper grammer in a general post to critique your formal writing.

- If you say there are some inconsistencies then point out those inconsistencies Why? Once you've been informed that they exist, then you should try to find them yourself. It is not up to us to correct all of your mistakes; it is up to you.

- If you say Cyril's writing style is cold then define what you consider cold and then pick some excerpts to illustrate your point Already been done. If you want more examples simply look at Chapters 1 through 6.

- Once again make your point through your action not through your tall claims like your triple degrees in molecular biology, which I have no use for. You can't criticise someone for providing their credentials when it's in response to an off-handed comment made by you questioning their level of inteligence.

Anyone can say baseless things like these. This entire post had no merit whatsoever.

Cyril
08-12-2009, 07:26 PM
So basically what you're saying is that you're not here to post anything of value. Which means that you just admitted to being a troll. Good job!

What I am saying is that your opinion means very little to me unless you earn the credibility. This is a poor quality argument coming from someone who wants to be a lawyer.

verfolgung
08-12-2009, 07:40 PM
Anyone can say baseless things like these. This entire post had no merit whatsoever.

Baseless? Huh. I'm one of the few posters who even bothered to proof read any part of your crappy novel. The post is not baseless, because I have already posted several examples of your poor grammar and poor writing.

You want one tip? Ask yourself why Greek sailors are referring to places by their Latin names. Names that in some cases were not translated from Greek to Latin for several hundred years after the time of your story. Trust me, there are plenty more inconsistencies and errors in your narrative.

Cyril
08-12-2009, 07:53 PM
Baseless? Huh. I'm one of the few posters who even bothered to proof read any part of your crappy novel. The post is not baseless, because I have already posted several examples of your poor grammar and poor writing.

Heck you can't even get through Chapter 1 without making a mistake. Just read your first and last paragraphs of the chapter. ::)

You are beginning to sound like a broken record on the grammar. I thanked you for proof reading Chapter – One. You did an excellent job.

My ingenuity does not lie in grammar or proof reading but in my creativity. There are tons of people like you who can do this kind of clerical thing. But there are not many who have imagination and vision that can produce a plot like Immaculate Love.

This work is pro bono publico. I am not making any money from this love story. Heck, I do not even go to the strip clubs.

WiseGuy_TX
08-12-2009, 08:38 PM
Anyone can say baseless things like these. This entire thread had no merit whatsoever....FYI, another joke Cyril.

I now order you to work harder and end the novel without delay!

Cyril
08-12-2009, 09:44 PM
...FYI, another joke Cyril.

I now order you to work harder and end the novel without delay!

I noticed, I make less grammatical mistakes when I write a chapter on the weekend. So, to avoid heartache and pain on grammar loving peanut gallery, I will abstain from writing the seventh chapter till the weekend arrives. However, there will be no guarantee that the chapter will be devoid of grammatical mistakes. I will certainly try though.

Cyril
08-12-2009, 09:53 PM
I'm going to ignore everything else here for a minute, and limit my questions. I'm a writer, and I probably wouldn't post anything I don't want stolen on the internet. I mean, okay, probably no one is going to steal Immaculate Love, but still - it's bad form.

Finish your first chapter, send it off to a publisher and see if they want it. Don't waste time on a product no one is going to buy. Try one of those penny romance publishers that have Fabio on the cover of their books or something. Don't try to use SW for free editing. Editors are professionals, they get paid for what they do, and you need one.

I am writing this novel for the benefit of people. I do not wish to gain anything of monetary value from Immaculate Love.