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Evan86
10-13-2009, 09:17 AM
I think what some of these ladies are trying to tell you is that the job is not as glamorous as it may appear to an outsider (outsider being one that has not WORKED as a stripper). There are a lot of fucked up people that you will have to deal with and a lot of situations that are not sexy or fun. It is physically and emotionally taxing and gets old real fast, whether you are "desperate" or not. You are naive.

Evan86
10-13-2009, 09:35 AM
A small handfull of people in this place have understood my post, the rest of you just don't like that someone else could be doing better with less effort.

I can tell this job bothers a lot of you on a level much higher than just a typical miserable job of flippin' burgers, otherwise you would not find offense in my OP in the least. You are exactly the type I am talking about. You got into it out of desperation, and now you try and justify it all away. You are exactly the reason why girls should not get into stripping out of desperation.

If it's as bad as the lot of you are making it out to be, why don't you find a different job while you do it?

I give you 2 days as a stripper before you either quit or get your ass kicked. :D

I don't hate my job. Most nights, I like it, BUT I also accept it for what it is...not all glamourous and feeling sexy.

Evan86
10-13-2009, 09:46 AM
So you just love to work however many days you work dancing and walking around in high heels, grinding on guys if that's what you do, walking around half naked, putting your boobs in guys faces, etc all for nothing? And you do this all because you don't need the money! We all know that is so not true. Noone just dances and wastes energy and stay out late with a bunch of guys they don't even know hustling them for money because they just want to and don't need the money! LOL...


Unless they are very attention-starved and fucked up on a level beyond what I can fathom...:O

Blue_Dust_Bunny
10-13-2009, 12:26 PM
Gosh! I so feel you on that one. I've been taking pole classes in LA all summer. I got close to a couple of fellow students and through her got invited to a going away party for one of the instructors and met other people though her (my new friend Andrea).

She invited me to this party a woman was giving. She has an awesome loft downtown. We picked another friend of hers on the way: a young ex-model, I call her Annalyne. She also had a pole at her place in Bev Hills. Anna is cool and all, but once she found out I was a bikini and topless dancer, oh shit. Judgement day for me. Especially when it came to lap dancing. ( I didn't have to tell her, but I had mentioned that I did well the night before, was working w. 40 other girls , but only got on stage once. She asked how I made the $$ if not on stage. Well, I had to tell her::)

She kept sending me 'hate inuendos' for the rest of the night. She hated me stage name and she was egging me on to get on the pole at the party, made fun of me because I was the 'pro' yet didn't have a pole at home.....ya da, ya da.

So , at the party, Anna changes in the bathroom and comes out in booty shorts and a tank. So she and Andrea play. There were a few guys there, so I was just talking to them while the show was going. So, just in case, I wore conservative fitted booty shorts and bikini top under my dress. So, I did my thing and climbed to the top of the pole. I had a very flowy dress on and it was getting caught and bunched up, so I took it off while I was up there on the pole and let it float to the floor. Then Anna says "Hey, this isn't about stripping. No tipping, no stripping rememeber?" That shit just really annoyed me. I wore the same booty shorts she had on, basically.
And instead of a tank, I had on a bikini top. And I have small boobs so I hardly think I was offending anyone. (The guys were more than ok w/ it;)

But this bitch was surprised I was married, college educated and also have another career.

But yanno, there is even snobbery from some of the dancers. Like, two of the pole instructors are dancers at this place in Hollywood that will only hire talented stage performers and it's a small club. It's bikini. I had a class with one of these chicks. Let's call her Chelsea. I told her I worked at a stage club too. She asked if it was bikini, and I stated it was topless. She looked at me and did this wave motion thing and said something like "Oh, (sighpause) sheesh". SHEESH??? I just took a class from her. She dancer (who may do lap dances) thinks she is more of 'professional dancer" because she doesn't take her top off!! I have never belittled any other women I have met in the sex industry whether they were nude dancers, massage chicks or full on escorts. I don't care. They have different boundries than I do. But I don't think they are bad people because of their choices, some of them just happen to have jobs that I wouldn't think I was a good choice for. It's bad enough to have civillians be stuck up but within the same industry? That just saddens me.

Gosh, I am sorry this is so long. But I am in extreme pain and therefore on pain meds.

So, now I am not so candid about my job. Not even to the pole cats>:(>:(

God. This pisses me off. I wish these polecats would realize that for the most part American pole dancing was developed by strippers - it wasn't perfected in a gym or a circus. And the best polecats usually have experience as a dancer for a reason.

I'm tired of these stupid housewives trying to take our art away from us.

Sad Sally
10-13-2009, 10:04 PM
Watch out ladies. There's a new version of the stepford wife out there. She's trendy, just got a tattoo, wears Ed Hardy crap, and she wants our poles!
Death First Bitches! }:D

MsClaireVoyant
10-14-2009, 11:05 AM
Gosh! I so feel you on that one. I've been taking pole classes in LA all summer. I got close to a couple of fellow students and through her got invited to a going away party for one of the instructors and met other people though her (my new friend Andrea).

She invited me to this party a woman was giving. She has an awesome loft downtown. We picked another friend of hers on the way: a young ex-model, I call her Annalyne. She also had a pole at her place in Bev Hills. Anna is cool and all, but once she found out I was a bikini and topless dancer, oh shit. Judgement day for me. Especially when it came to lap dancing. ( I didn't have to tell her, but I had mentioned that I did well the night before, was working w. 40 other girls , but only got on stage once. She asked how I made the $$ if not on stage. Well, I had to tell her::)

She kept sending me 'hate inuendos' for the rest of the night. She hated me stage name and she was egging me on to get on the pole at the party, made fun of me because I was the 'pro' yet didn't have a pole at home.....ya da, ya da.

So , at the party, Anna changes in the bathroom and comes out in booty shorts and a tank. So she and Andrea play. There were a few guys there, so I was just talking to them while the show was going. So, just in case, I wore conservative fitted booty shorts and bikini top under my dress. So, I did my thing and climbed to the top of the pole. I had a very flowy dress on and it was getting caught and bunched up, so I took it off while I was up there on the pole and let it float to the floor. Then Anna says "Hey, this isn't about stripping. No tipping, no stripping rememeber?" That shit just really annoyed me. I wore the same booty shorts she had on, basically.
And instead of a tank, I had on a bikini top. And I have small boobs so I hardly think I was offending anyone. (The guys were more than ok w/ it;)

But this bitch was surprised I was married, college educated and also have another career.

But yanno, there is even snobbery from some of the dancers. Like, two of the pole instructors are dancers at this place in Hollywood that will only hire talented stage performers and it's a small club. It's bikini. I had a class with one of these chicks. Let's call her Chelsea. I told her I worked at a stage club too. She asked if it was bikini, and I stated it was topless. She looked at me and did this wave motion thing and said something like "Oh, (sighpause) sheesh". SHEESH??? I just took a class from her. She dancer (who may do lap dances) thinks she is more of 'professional dancer" because she doesn't take her top off!! I have never belittled any other women I have met in the sex industry whether they were nude dancers, massage chicks or full on escorts. I don't care. They have different boundries than I do. But I don't think they are bad people because of their choices, some of them just happen to have jobs that I wouldn't think I was a good choice for. It's bad enough to have civillians be stuck up but within the same industry? That just saddens me.

Gosh, I am sorry this is so long. But I am in extreme pain and therefore on pain meds.

So, now I am not so candid about my job. Not even to the pole cats>:(>:(

Ugh.. just ugh.

That disgusts me. I've never looked down on ANYONE for what they do, in whatever way. I'm a very open minded and non-judgmental person so people like this make me sick. Thanks for the part that I bolded in your post... I've had a lot of problems with one of my best female friends over the years (not a dancer) who in almost all other ways is very liberal, open minded, cool as hell, etc. But she has major problems with me being a stripper, she thinks just because it would make her sick to do it that its automatically something horrible and degrading for me that would ruin my life. I appreciate her concern but its so frustrating at the same time that she cant see that different people have different boundaries. That's a whole other thread though, for me I feel all I can do is be happy and live a good life and be healthy and SHOW the world that you can do this job and make a decent life for yourself, especially if you are doing it while supporting other goals and dreams (I'm an aspiring writer, first novel in the works right now).

As for the OP... well I sort of think I understand what she was saying and I understand everyone else's reactions to it too. Sorry OP, it was just something about the way you came across, kinda with a 'tude, IMO. I definitely don't think ANYONE should talk about stripping without having worked as a stripper at least a little bit.

As far as being paid to feel glamorous or sexy or whatever... I mean, I DO feel sexy getting dressed up, makeup, hair etc. And yeah its fun finding new outfits and getting new ideas and things like that. But I think when you do it awhile, like anything else, you get used to it, and the "glamour" or whatever becomes the daily grind. I don't even think it has to do with the hard aspects of stripping either (although that could be a rude awakening if you arent prepared) but just... ANYTHING you do day in and day out as a job loses its sparkle after awhile.

mvivian
10-25-2009, 05:10 PM
What I am saying is that a lot of girls who start stripping wouldn't have done it for any other reason besides they "have to". They lower their standards for it, and then continue to lower their standards for a couple more dollars, like selling (and ultimately doing) drugs and giving "extras". Those who get into it because they want to or never had a problem with it in the first place seem to be less likely to fall into the "trashy" area of the business.

At least that's how it is in my little corner of the map.

This might be true for some women, but two of my close friends who strip and one who doms didn't get into it because they had too. They wanted something that was flexible & would allow them freedom and mobility and even though two of them have advanced degrees, they chose to work in this industry becuase it allows them more time to work on other aspects of their life than if they were working a 9/5.
And one of them works 3 months & then spends 9 months traveling.
I don't know of any job that allows that.
But yes, there are some people who get into it because they feel that it is one of their only viable options.


Every job has its shitty aspects, but if you can get into something you actually like doing then even the bad parts don't seem that bad after a while.
Word.
And, in my experience, one of the fun things about whatever you job you may have is bitching & comparing experiences with your co-workers and/or other workers in your industry. It's a way to related & connect to people and in doing so people often end up feeling relieved to learn that they aren't the only people who have had to deal with x, y, or z.

anacol
10-26-2009, 04:03 PM
Unless they are very attention-starved and fucked up on a level beyond what I can fathom...:O
Exactly! LOL

AznExtasy
10-27-2009, 12:22 AM
Watch out ladies. There's a new version of the stepford wife out there. She's trendy, just got a tattoo, wears Ed Hardy crap, and she wants our poles!
Death First Bitches! }:D

Omg, how freakin true is this...
It bothers me to be within 100 feet of these dumb civilian hoes.

anacol
10-30-2009, 08:00 AM
That's hilarious!;D

Laurisa
10-30-2009, 10:48 AM
I've led myself to the dancing pathway because I have a need for more cash flow than I can make elsewhere right now. I don't think that is desperation, I think that dancing will allow me to achieve several of my goals that might not have been realistic if I was planning on being a cashier at K-Mart. I'm proud of my decision to dance after I give birth, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

davka
10-30-2009, 11:11 AM
I get so upset when I hear negative anti sex worker/anti stripper bigotry. This girl that was hanging out in my friend circle found out what I do and told people "I don't like sex workers." And everyone said "that's her opinion!" I said it was no fucking opinion, it was total bigotry and I did not want to be in the same room with a racist or a bigot of any form because I would just end up arrested.

On Family Guy once at the end they had a little infomercial skit that had nothing to do with the show and the Family Guy said, "I don't think you should kill strippers. Strippers are already dead inside."

It was like the most offensive, misogynist, awful thing I have ever heard. It still makes my stomach flip and my underarms sweat when I hear it.

Being around people who don't understand the stigma we work through is so triggering. I cannot handle it anymore. No patience for stupid people.

mvivian
10-30-2009, 02:09 PM
:D
It was like the most offensive, misogynist, awful thing I have ever heard. It still makes my stomach flip and my underarms sweat when I hear it.
It's so funny (or irritating) that people can consider themselves feminist & pro-women but then ignore the fact that women who work in the sex industry are also women and also deserve the same respect that other women receive (such as it is).

In one sentence they support women, they support trying to make the world safer for women, and increasing access to the same societal benefits as men but then in the next sentence women who work in the sex industry were asking to be harrassed, cat called, or even worse. "She's a stripper, she should be used to men cat calling her" or "It wasn't rape, she's a hooker!".
Ugh.

But, even though at times it sucks, I really do think it is (slowly) getting better.

Caprica6
10-30-2009, 04:21 PM
I keep reading your name as "minivan" :( But yes, I agree totally. There are so many misconceptions about strippers, and hardly any of these people will actually sit and listen to our side, they pretty much plug their ears and go "LA LA LA NOT HEARING YOU YOU'RE A STRIPPER EEWWWW" if you have anything to say in your own defense.

I wouldn't get too worked up over the Family Guy thing tho, that's what the entire show's about. It gets away with it because it falls under satire.

charlie61
10-30-2009, 05:02 PM
The one thing I tell myself that cools my anger about sex worker hate is that...if our jobs weren't taboo, we wouldn't make any money! The fact that so many people love to hate us is, unfortunately, much of the reason we make so much off of dancing and whatnot. Think of how crowded strip clubs would be (with strippers, not customers), if there were no stigma.

mvivian
10-31-2009, 11:43 AM
I keep reading your name as "minivan"
Ha! It's a mash up of two names I have used. I didn't even think about it when I set up my account.

anacol
10-31-2009, 11:43 AM
I would say to those type of women is that "Look who's in the industry now"! All of the professional women. They have no other choice but to turn to the industry they looked down on. Which you're never suppose to do because you never know where you may end up in the future. That's why you shouldn't judge anyone because that's not your place to do so. Sweep around your own front door because you don't know what the next person is thinking or how their life has ended up the reason they are in an industry such as the sex industry.8)

davka
11-01-2009, 02:07 AM
I will get worked up over the family guy. It does not work at all as satire. Bigotry hidden in satire doesn't sneak by me. Fuck that.

Caprica6
11-01-2009, 10:40 AM
Those shows make fun of everything tho, that's the whole point in them. To pick at the things that are most controversial to get your kind of reaction: Religion, race, sex, strippers, prostitutes, homosexuality, death, handicap, deformation, Veganism, lawyers, mimes, priests, nuns, dogshow attendees, rap music, fine art, elevator music, poop, farts, airline security, child discipline, shitty police force, the President of the United states, the Pope, screaming babies, ugly children, terrible accents, public nudity, morbid obesity (Peter, you have your own gravitational field), "towel heads" (remember the one where Peter dries his hands on the Arab guy's turban, and then the next one walks by with a blow dryer on the back of it?), it has it all. You can't get worked up over one thing but then say the rest is fine, that's not fair. As if you get to decide what's acceptable? Who the hell are you and me in the grand scheme of things?

I think you should try and find the humor in it and laugh it off, just as we blondes have learned to laugh off (and even join in on) blonde jokes after all these years. Just like we all chuckled to ourselves the first time we ever saw a parent walking with their kid on a leash, we all laugh at others' expenses. It's never funny to the person being made fun of, but they have plenty of other people to laugh at in return. Most of them get over it.

black_widow
11-01-2009, 06:03 PM
I personally do think that dancing isn't for everyone, but for those that truly enjoy it, then yeah, as a last resort? Not so much. It's a viable job, if you let it be, and don't fuck it up by getting drunk/high every shift. But most girls that do that shouldn't be dancing anyways--it's a coping mechanism for them not to have the face the reality that they hate their job.

But for people who can handle it, go for it. Why not? It's a great gig for sure.

DorianGrey
11-02-2009, 04:35 PM
I would say to those type of women is that "Look who's in the industry now"! All of the professional women. They have no other choice but to turn to the industry they looked down on. Which you're never suppose to do because you never know where you may end up in the future. That's why you shouldn't judge anyone because that's not your place to do so. Sweep around your own front door because you don't know what the next person is thinking or how their life has ended up the reason they are in an industry such as the sex industry.8)

Word.

As one of those college-edumacated/professional women that's now stripping in a neighborhood bar, I'm kinda glad I was nice to the ex-dancers/present porn stars I have as friends, because when they found out what I was doing, they really gave me a lot of relevant advice (and shoes) :D.

*DG*

miabella
11-05-2009, 12:52 AM
I would say to those type of women is that "Look who's in the industry now"! All of the professional women. They have no other choice but to turn to the industry they looked down on. Which you're never suppose to do because you never know where you may end up in the future. That's why you shouldn't judge anyone because that's not your place to do so. Sweep around your own front door because you don't know what the next person is thinking or how their life has ended up the reason they are in an industry such as the sex industry.8)

sorta kinda. the professional women making six figures are not stripping at all-- most are quitting their jobs to be stay at home moms. the professional women who are wildly underpaid compared to their wardrobe requirements are certainly picking up a few shifts here and there.

Caprica6
11-05-2009, 07:30 AM
My sister would let herself and her kid be homeless and starving before she picked up stripping. And then she complains about how hard nursing school is (she's very squeamish so I'm not sure this is a good idea for her) and how much work she has to do every week to keep up with rent and stuff.

And then I come home from 5 hours of stripping with 300 bucks in my hand... It's nice to have all that extra time to enjoy life :)

MsClaireVoyant
11-06-2009, 01:00 PM
"On Family Guy once at the end they had a little infomercial skit that had nothing to do with the show and the Family Guy said, "I don't think you should kill strippers. Strippers are already dead inside."

^^^^ I have to admit, I laughed at that. I mean, I know I'm not dead inside. Honestly, family guys is meant to be offensive. Its kinda like when they make fun of celebrities, being mocked on there is almost an honor. I do understand how you feel about that comment in a general sense though and I'm sorry it hurt you so much. People are so narrowminded sometimes it's unreal. I deal with it too, and it really makes me mad. Especially because one of my best friends feels the exact same way, that strippers are basically, or will soon become "dead inside" and that you CANNOT be a happy, balanced, positive or spiritual person and be a stripper. Bullshit.

Corey
11-06-2009, 04:18 PM
God. This pisses me off. I wish these polecats would realize that for the most part American pole dancing was developed by strippers - it wasn't perfected in a gym or a circus. And the best polecats usually have experience as a dancer for a reason.

I'm tired of these stupid housewives trying to take our art away from us.

This is late, but I'm happy you see my point;)

Christyismyalias
11-08-2009, 11:40 PM
Honesty, my thoughts are that you might be in for a rude awakening once you start stripping. You aren't getting "paid to feel sexy." Nobody cares how you feel. You are getting paid to grind cock. Pole dancing is beautiful; floor work is beautiful; naked women are beautiful, but ultimately, your performance on stage is not what makes your money.

I don't mean to sound rude or harsh, but for me and most strippers I know, this is the reality of the job. And frankly, do you really think you're in any place to tell a bunch of seasoned strippers how and why they should do their job, when you haven't ever done it yourself?

To the OP, I think you have a good mindset going in. As for this quote ^^ I disagree. Work at a no contact club and you will enjoy the "dancing/performing" aspect of the job and hopefully you will love your job. I will not grind on cock to make my money, therefore no contact clubs are the clubs I choose to work at. If you love the art of dancing (as I do) find a club that is more an entertainment club and do it girl! You have the right attitude and hopefully once you get in you will love it and it works well for you.

Good luck! :)

GlitterBexie
11-21-2009, 11:15 AM
I think it's a bit much that you're giving advice on wanting to not having to dance, personally, i enjoy it, but Im new to it, and over-excitable, Im told it gets like any job. I work full time, I dance because I want to and its good money, I look good and its easier than working at a job that pays £5 an hour. Its not a means to an end, i enjoy it, it gives me something to do and yeah i like the attention! There are bad bits, they try to touch u up, push your boundries, the expectations of prostitution etc. I get felt up/groped without permission more on a normal night out though! People expect me to sleep with them on a night out! At least with dancing Im extracting money at the same time! So swings and roundabouts i spose!

You're not being paid to be sexy, they want to see your tits, they want to catch a flash on ur lady-garden, they want your arse bouncing around in front of them. Its primal, theyre men, and its not easy to hustle and canoodle and coax money out of most! Its a job, if you enjoy it, super, if you don't, then dont do it, but it seems like you're saying that all dancers are desperate and depressed and dont want to dance but they have to, it's coming accross as slightly self-richeous(<-sp?) if im honest, im not sure if you meant for it to happen like that. But dont make assumptions until you've been doing it a few nights and you've experienced the ups and downs on a personal level.

Caprica6
11-21-2009, 12:44 PM
I think it's a bit much that you're giving advice on wanting to not having to dance, personally, i enjoy it, but Im new to it, and over-excitable, Im told it gets like any job. I work full time, I dance because I want to and its good money, I look good and its easier than working at a job that pays £5 an hour. Its not a means to an end, i enjoy it, it gives me something to do and yeah i like the attention! There are bad bits, they try to touch u up, push your boundries, the expectations of prostitution etc. I get felt up/groped without permission more on a normal night out though! People expect me to sleep with them on a night out! At least with dancing Im extracting money at the same time! So swings and roundabouts i spose!

So you're saying do it because you like it, not out of desperation. Which is exactly what I posted saying people SHOULD BE doing... How exactly are you disagreeing with me then?


You're not being paid to be sexy, they want to see your tits, they want to catch a flash on ur lady-garden, they want your arse bouncing around in front of them.

Being sexy is being sexual without the sex. I don't know about you, but when a guy gives me $20 for a private dance he is paying me to be seductive(sexy!) in his lap or in close viscinity. Some may have higher expectations, sure. You're still getting paid to be sexy, unless you're giving them what they want... You aren't, right?


Its primal, theyre men, and its not easy to hustle and canoodle and coax money out of most! Its a job, if you enjoy it, super, if you don't, then dont do it, but it seems like you're saying that all dancers are desperate and depressed and dont want to dance but they have to...

No. This is exactly what I'm NOT saying. Are you even reading my posts, or are you just that anxious to hit the REPLY button?


... it's coming accross as slightly self-richeous(<-sp?) if im honest, im not sure if you meant for it to happen like that. But dont make assumptions until you've been doing it a few nights and you've experienced the ups and downs on a personal level.

How exactly is it self-righteous of me to say that if you are fine with it and your friend tells you not to do it unless you are desperate otherwise you're a gross slut and they'll hate you for it! that you should tell them to fuck off because you're an adult and allowed to make that decision for yourself and if they were any kind of "friend" they would not judge you for it?

Take a step back and read it all again.

GlitterBexie
11-22-2009, 04:34 AM
Well first up, i wasnt disagreeing with you, i was replying to the original thread poster, and no, i hadnt read all your posts, id skimmed them and was giving my interpretation of the questions etc asked.

Yes i do it because i like it, im not sure where the misunderstanding is here? (I didnt write properly tho, i have a full time day job and my club only opens weekends so i do it then.

Im not being paid to be sexy, im not being paid until ive got them upstairs to the till and theyve handed the money over, i do cute and flirty for the most part and bring sexy into it later. What i was saying was being sexy is a mindset and an attitude when in the club, its part of the whole fantasy jazz yeh but at the end of the day, theyre paying for you to wriggle, writhe and get naked, sexy is part of it but not the whole thing, i can walk around being sexy all i want but if i cnt charm/hustle/converse them into handing over the cash being sexy isnt gonna do much good in my club with it the way it is (Too many girls, not enuf mens!). Plus, i think sexy is relative anyway, it all depends on which sexy the custy wants ya to be.

I wasnt aware I was replying to you personally, again, i was replying to the original post.

I was not saying that you are self-ritcheous (<-again, sorry, sp?) I was saying the original post sounded a bit because it said she was not a stripper, but seemed to be sayin that all strippers are depressed and desperate, and im neither.

I told a friend, she went bananas, she needed time to get used to it, she has, she apologised, fair enuf, if ppl cnt handle it then thats their problem. I dont tell many/if any ppl because id lose my full time job for having an ''innapropriate'' part time job.

So, as far as i see it, i wasnt disagreeing with you, i was giving my personal experience and interpretation of the question. I hope Im not coming accross as a mardy bitch coz it wasnt meant in that way at all.

Caprica6
11-22-2009, 08:01 AM
Well first up, i wasnt disagreeing with you, i was replying to the original thread poster.

Well there's our disconnect then... I am the original poster. Switched names to match my stage name.

GlitterBexie
11-22-2009, 09:29 AM
So there's no problem, i wouldn't even class it as a disagreement ya know, you aked for opinions and i gave you mine. Wasnt meant to cause offence etc. :)