View Full Version : If you don't want a dance...
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Bob_Loblaw
08-20-2009, 11:24 AM
In the case of customers who DO actually mean "later", you should try and convey your sincerity. Occasionally I'll have a guy say something like "Now right now, but please come back again later" or "I'm talking business with my friend right now, but I'd love to later, could you come back?".
That's about the ONLY time I ever take "later" seriously and actually go back to the customer. Unless of course they wave me down or come get me.
This is exactly what I try to do. I will never say "maybe" in the club and find it's much easier to deal in absolutes. If I want a girl to come back later, I will tell her why I'm saying no now and when I'd like to see her later. For example, "Sorry, I've already committed to some dances with Penny first but as soon as we're done, I'd love to get some dances with you" or "I actually just got here and need a few minutes to settle in first. I'm not ready for dances yet but if you can come back in five to ten minutes I'd love some dances with you."
Golden_Rule
08-20-2009, 12:15 PM
Could you please just say you don't want a dance? Not, "maybe later", or "not right now" or whatever else you can come up with to "not be mean to me"? I can handle a guy saying they don't want a dance a lot better than I can handle someone who is just wasting my time. Tell me you're not interested and I will move on and leave you alone. If however, you're enjoying the convo but still don't want a dance, then tip me for my time and I'll move on then as well.
But please, for the love of god, stop thinking you need to tell me something other than no thank you.
That is precisely what I do when I am not in the mood for a dance in general or that dancer, that day, in particular. This because I don't get offended when I get the occasional, "Then what the fuck did you come in here for then.", reply one gets sometimes when one is that candid, even when done as politely as I do it. :)
That can be very off putting for some guys though. So, perhaps, maybe more guys would do precisely this IF more dancers didn't take offense to it and respond by telling the guy where to get off.
Golden_Rule
08-20-2009, 12:17 PM
^Attitude much? ::)
Could be one of the guys I reference above. :)
JayATee
08-20-2009, 03:01 PM
That is precisely what I do when I am not in the mood for a dance in general or that dancer, that day, in particular. This because I don't get offended when I get the occasional, "Then what the fuck did you come in here for then.", reply one gets sometimes when one is that candid, even when done as politely as I do it. :)
That can be very off putting for some guys though. So, perhaps, maybe more guys would do precisely this IF more dancers didn't take offense to it and respond by telling the guy where to get off.
Unfortunately not all the girls are going to take kindly to being told no, and there's nothing that can be done about that, but I think the majority of us would just rather be told upfront that the answer is no.
Golden_Rule
08-20-2009, 03:09 PM
Unfortunately not all the girls are going to take kindly to being told no, and there's nothing that can be done about that, but I think the majority of us would just rather be told upfront that the answer is no.
Oh, absolutely. The converse of that though is you can't blame some guys who have been exposed to that kind of response not to go all "wall flower" and hesitate to be candid from that point on.
gameover
08-20-2009, 05:47 PM
Unfortunately not all the girls are going to take kindly to being told no, and there's nothing that can be done about that, but I think the majority of us would just rather be told upfront that the answer is no.
Sorry, but hmm, I'm at a club to have a good time, and I don't want to get a dance from a particular dancer. I've had a long stressful week at work. Do I deal with the potential dancer drama when I so "no thanks"? Or do I just say "maybe later", and get her out of my hair for at least awhile... Worst case, she comes back and I repeat "maybe later". Best case, she goes away and stays away. Either way, I usually avoid the drama.
Seems like this rule should be in the "How to enjoy a stress free club experience" rule book :)
Or if you prefer us to be totally honest, how about I say what I'm thinking with some of these dancers? Maybe, "No thanks, your so ugly and overweight I'd rather gouge my eyes out with blunt sporks, rather than see you naked". What do you think? }:D
JayATee
08-20-2009, 05:50 PM
Sorry, but hmm, I'm at a club to have a good time, and I don't want to get a dance from a particular dancer. I've had a long stressful week at work. Do I deal with the potential dancer drama when I so "no thanks"? Or do I just say "maybe later", and get her out of my hair for at least awhile... Worst case, she comes back and I repeat "maybe later". Best case, she goes away and stays away. Either way, I usually avoid the drama.
Seems like this rule should be in the "How to enjoy a stress free club experience" rule book :)
Or if you prefer us to be totally honest, how about I say what I'm thinking with some of these dancers? Maybe, "No thanks, your so ugly and overweight I'd rather gouge my eyes out with blunt sporks, rather than see you naked". What do you think? }:D
Then you'll be dealt with accordingly and I can only hope that the girl slams you upside your head for this. You know what? We're there to make money. If you're not paying GTFO.
Elvia
08-20-2009, 06:09 PM
Or if you prefer us to be totally honest, how about I say what I'm thinking with some of these dancers? Maybe, "No thanks, your so ugly and overweight I'd rather gouge my eyes out with blunt sporks, rather than see you naked". What do you think? }:D
So to you, being honest equates with being as unnecessarily cruel as possible?
gameover
08-20-2009, 06:09 PM
Then you'll be dealt with accordingly and I can only hope that the girl slams you upside your head for this. You know what? We're there to make money. If you're not paying GTFO.
Oh i'm paying. I usually spend 500+ per visit. But I spend it on the dancers I want to. And I hope you realize that I'd never insult a dancer (or anyone) like that. But I have seen some dancer's that shouldn't have been dancing that I've thought that about.
You act like you think I should be a walking ATM for any dancer. Well, I am, sort of, but I only give out my pin# to dancers I like. :)
If your attitude comes across in the club like it does in some of your posts, I'd probably not buy dances from you. Not because of your looks (your avatar seems pretty), but because I don't enjoy getting dances from dancers who don't seem to be having a good time. I'm there to have fun. If you aren't having fun (or at least good at acting like you are), you won't get my money.
Maybe you are great actress in the club. I'm just basing this on your posts, and I understand you may just be venting here. But based on our post interactions, I don't think we'd like each other in the club. But different strokes, as they say.
Elvia
08-20-2009, 06:14 PM
If your attitude comes across in the club like it does in some of your posts, I'd probably not buy dances from you. Not because of your looks (your avatar seems pretty), but because I don't enjoy getting dances from dancers who don't seem to be having a good time. I'm there to have fun. If you aren't having fun (or at least good at acting like you are), you won't get my money.
Maybe you are great actress in the club. I'm just basing this on your posts, and I understand you may just be venting here. But based on our post interactions, I don't think we'd like each other in the club. But different strokes, as they say.
We've gone over this with you before. We're not in a club, you're not paying us. There is no incentive to indulge you or bite our tongue when you act like a jackass on a site that is primarily for female dancers to come here and get a break from the crap we put up with at work. Get with the fucking program already.
gameover
08-20-2009, 06:21 PM
We've gone over this with you before. We're not in a club, you're not paying us. There is no incentive to indulge you or bite our tongue when you act like a jackass on a site that is primarily for female dancers to come here and get a break from the crap we put up with at work. Get with the fucking program already.
No I mentioned that I realized that she might just be venting.
I didn't ask her to indulge me, or for her to bite her tongue. She was asking why we said "maybe later", and I gave her a reason why some customers do.
I didn't realize the name of this forum wasn't really, "Customer Conversation", but rather "Customer Conversation, aka please don't answer our questions honestly, we just want you to tell us what we want to hear".
Elvia
08-20-2009, 06:26 PM
Once again, this...
If your attitude comes across in the club like it does in some of your posts, I'd probably not buy dances from you.
has absolutely nothing to do with the question, or the thread, and is just a stupid and pointless criticism. You wouldn't buy a dance from her? Well, good news, because she's not selling you one because we're on the fucking internet.
gameover
08-20-2009, 06:33 PM
Once again, this...
has absolutely nothing to do with the question, or the thread, and is just a stupid and pointless criticism. You wouldn't buy a dance from her? Well, good news, because she's not selling you one because we're on the fucking internet.
No, you're right, I guess I let her bait me a little bit when she replied that she hoped a dancer slammed me in the head. After that, I didn't feel as much love toward her
:)
But, my original reply did try to explain why it is less stressful to give a vague, non-committal reply to the "wanna dance".
Elvia
08-20-2009, 06:41 PM
And when she said that, it was in direct response to this:
Or if you prefer us to be totally honest, how about I say what I'm thinking with some of these dancers? Maybe, "No thanks, your so ugly and overweight I'd rather gouge my eyes out with blunt sporks, rather than see you naked". What do you think? }:D
Maybe you meant it as a joke, but what kind of response would you expect a dancer to have to this? How much love do you expect us to feel for that?
gameover
08-20-2009, 06:53 PM
And when she said that, it was in direct response to this:
Maybe you meant it as a joke, but what kind of response would you expect a dancer to have to this? How much love do you expect us to feel for that?
As I said, I would never insult anyone like that. I intended the remark as a joke. I'm sorry if you took offense. (btw, you have a pretty avatar as well).
I just have a hard time resisting working the word "spork" into any sentence that I can, and those opportunities don't come up that often in real life :)
Elvia
08-20-2009, 06:58 PM
^^^ Ok, that did make me LOL. :)
goreantx
08-20-2009, 07:00 PM
I don't know if it's been suggested yet, but giving a time frame on the "later" helps me as a dancer. When people say "later", I say "how long?", that way I know they want me back in 15 minutes.
PatheticLoserCuckold
08-20-2009, 07:24 PM
Sure, I'll bring this us at the next secret guy's club meeting, and make sure the word gets out to everybody. Consider it taken care of.
Actually this is very funny because I find it puzzling how such generalizations are made about all men on this message board. Maybe its from a lack of male relationships outside the club, or a variety in the type of men that you're hanging out with. I have dated dozens of girls are putting them all into one box would be ridiculous.
WestCoast101
08-20-2009, 09:36 PM
to avoid hassles always have a fake ATF u are waiting for. I don't have an ATF and I don't want one, but if I get asked for a dance, its usually "oh right" "yes, I'm waiting for someone". When I want a dance, I pick out the chick.
WestCoast101
08-20-2009, 09:49 PM
the biggest earners I've known over the past several decades use a relentless and near robotic "wanna dance" approach, sometimes saying nothing or maybe a few minutes of talk at most, then ask for the dance, and they just suck-up the pain the constant rejection brings, but then they laugh all the way to the bank each week. They also don't do too bad in constantly recruiting new regs to resupply the dropouts.
any reasonably hot dancer that can overcome the rejection pain can get sell alot of dances, but the really good ones have like 99 different exit lines once they need to unwind the conversation and they realize the guy aint buying.
Cyril
08-20-2009, 09:59 PM
the biggest earners I've known over the past several decades use a relentless and near robotic "wanna dance" approach, sometimes saying nothing or maybe a few minutes of talk at most, then ask for the dance, and they just suck-up the pain the constant rejection brings, but then they laugh all the way to the bank each week. They also don't do too bad in constantly recruiting new regs to resupply the dropouts.
any reasonably hot dancer that can overcome the rejection pain can get sell alot of dances, but the really good ones have like 99 different exit lines once they need to unwind the conversation and they realize the guy aint buying.
But why would there be a pain? It is not like she getting rejected in response to her romantic overtures. It is pure business according PLs and strippers on this board.
WestCoast101
08-20-2009, 11:15 PM
remember although its not real life, its the FEMALE doing the asking, not the typical role for most of them..
logically you would THINK they don't get pain, but I can assure you most do, and i discussed this issue with probably dozens over the yrs. and its the main reason why so many girls have trouble approaching a high volume of customers. When they hear "no" or the usually fake "maybe later" or whatever, they take it personally, and dancers often assume its something about them, in fact the guy might be broke or whatever, but chicks think its probably some kind of flaw in them, and strangely enough this at times can include really hot chicks too.
JayATee
08-21-2009, 01:38 AM
remember although its not real life, its the FEMALE doing the asking, not the typical role for most of them..
What?? What time are you from??? The 50's?? ::)
Actually this is very funny because I find it puzzling how such generalizations are made about all men on this message board. Maybe its from a lack of male relationships outside the club, or a variety in the type of men that you're hanging out with. I have dated dozens of girls are putting them all into one box would be ridiculous.
Yes, you would be the one to judge that Im sure. ::)
And Elvia, ty. Once again, you've said it all.
PatheticLoserCuckold
08-21-2009, 03:23 AM
What?? What time are you from??? The 50's?? ::)
Yes, you would be the one to judge that Im sure. ::)
And Elvia, ty. Once again, you've said it all.
Or a lack of proper education in this persons case.
xdamage
08-21-2009, 05:57 AM
All business is "mostly" business, but there are always still people and human feelings involved on some level.
Humans are not computers, our mouths do not just dump data at each other like modems. In every human verbal exchange there is the technical data, the words, "No Thank You", and in addition, the social/non-obvious messages we send each other where we jockey for position. Voice intonations, body language, in fact what we are really feeling about each other comes through.
You can say "No Thank You" and mean/deliver it in a way that is cruel, or in a way that is neutral, or in a way that is compassionate... and all manner of emotions in between.
Admittedly when the hustle level is very high in a SC it can be exhausting to respond No Thank You repeatedly. There are times I had wished that it was more like a Saturn dealership. Require the customers do all the approaching. That is not the way it works though.
One can still say no thanks in a way that minimizes the odds of hurting her feelings. After that yes, she will need to deal with it, decide if the business is for her as it may not be.
The reality is though is that some customers understand how to say No Thanks politely, but some get their rocks off rejecting the dancers (that jockeying for position I mentioned above), some are trying overly hard to be polite and really don't mean badly when they say "Maybe later", some end up feeling exhausted and snarky by the hustle and just want a few minutes to relax before buying, some are snarky and have no intention of buying, and several more combinations. I doubt this situation will ever change.
WestCoast101
08-21-2009, 09:35 AM
gee I forgot women in real life today have to "get lucky" to score , big change since the 1980's, and you want to buy a bridge?
figure it this way in a club, most times you got chicks optimally drressed to be sexy and attractive putting out their best look, wearing skimpy lingerie or whatever, 6 inch plus heels, tons of makeup, good lighting, ass hanging out - and the guy so-to-speak "rejects" her. Of course it hurts them, in part because they aint used to it.
the reality is despite nearly 50 yrs of women's lib bullshit... its still men doing most of the asking in real life, and it probably explains why women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection alot worse than typical men.
firemaiden04
08-21-2009, 09:39 AM
gee I forgot women in real life today have to "get lucky" to score , big change since the 1980's, and you want to buy a bridge?
figure it this way in a club, most times you got chicks optimally drressed to be sexy and attractive putting out their best look, wearing skimpy lingerie or whatever, 6 inch plus heels, tons of makeup, good lighting, ass hanging out - and the guy so-to-speak "rejects" her. Of course it hurts them, in part because they aint used to it.
the reality is despite nearly 50 yrs of women's lib bullshit... its still men doing most of the asking in real life, and it probably explains why women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection alot worse than typical men.
...what?
I actually found that quite offensive, because I've seen many, many, many more men become violent after being rejected than I've seen women get snotty...and yet you say "women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection a lot worse than typical men"?
WestCoast101
08-21-2009, 09:41 AM
'What?? What time are you from??? The 50's?? " Nope, but I do the Back to the Future ride now and then, does that count?
WestCoast101
08-21-2009, 09:56 AM
offensive? lol, all the hyper-sensitivity proves my point, and on the violence issue, men are much more violent than women in all aspects of life, but it aint usually about initial-contact type situations, in that regard its generally more likely to tie in with relationships of some type
firemaiden04
08-21-2009, 10:17 AM
offensive? lol, all the hyper-sensitivity proves my point, and on the violence issue, men are much more violent than women in all aspects of life, but it aint usually about initial-contact type situations, in that regard its generally more likely to tie in with relationships of some type
You deal with rapists and abusive men, then you can fucking talk to me about hyper-sensitivity.
You know, I'd say 99% of my customers are decent, respectful men who I have no issues with whatsoever. The strip club patrons I really have a problem with are all on this website.
JayATee
08-21-2009, 10:18 AM
Or a lack of proper education in this persons case.
Ah yes. Another to ignore. Good for you!
'What?? What time are you from??? The 50's?? " Nope, but I do the Back to the Future ride now and then, does that count?
Then explain what you meant by that idiotic comment. ::)
laurcon
08-21-2009, 02:31 PM
well i understand what westcoast is saying. i'm used to going out and just standing there and having guys walk up to me trying to talk to me. and most of the time they get rejected, but they always still try. and for free. i get paid for approaching guys and i still don't like it.
WestCoast101
08-21-2009, 04:44 PM
the mere fact that you bring up the threat of "rapists" and "abusers" is suggestive of the obvious fact that women have good reason to be a bit more worried about cold solicitation of either customers in club for dances - or men in a bar for dates. So they do it less, and thus are effected by rejection even more. sorry, sexual parity has not been achieved, but if the libbers want to continue that myth, that's their right. 9BACK TO THE FUTURE is a ride at Universal Studios based upon the 80's trilogy of movies.
Cyril
08-21-2009, 04:52 PM
I think men have very impudent approach to picking women in the bar. A friend of mine, he used to go for the boobs straight. That used to be his pickup technique when he was younger. There were no fancy pickup lines involved.
mediocrity
08-21-2009, 04:54 PM
I think men have very impudent approach to picking women in the bar. A friend of mine, he used to go for the boobs straight. That used to be his pickup technique when he was younger. There were no fancy pickup lines involved.
Says a lot about the company you keep. You hang out with guys who walk up and grab random chicks' breasts?
mediocrity
08-21-2009, 05:06 PM
gee I forgot women in real life today have to "get lucky" to score , big change since the 1980's, and you want to buy a bridge?
figure it this way in a club, most times you got chicks optimally drressed to be sexy and attractive putting out their best look, wearing skimpy lingerie or whatever, 6 inch plus heels, tons of makeup, good lighting, ass hanging out - and the guy so-to-speak "rejects" her. Of course it hurts them, in part because they aint used to it.
the reality is despite nearly 50 yrs of women's lib bullshit... its still men doing most of the asking in real life, and it probably explains why women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection alot worse than typical men.
I actually don't really care. At work for every one that says no there are like 5 who will say yes. In real life, if I am out with the girls, leave me alone; chances are I don't want to talk to you. Then again I don't dress provocatively.
WestCoast101
08-21-2009, 10:46 PM
"At wor"k for every one that says no there are like 5 who will say yes."
80 to 85% yield on "wanna dance?"if you mean consistent results at that level, it sounds like bullshit! Never heard any dancer claim that high a percentage, and the ones that might actually be able to credibly make that claim would have to be so incredibly ultra-hot they wouldn't even need to dance in the first place because their sugar daddy or super rich b/f has everything taken care of.
mediocrity
08-22-2009, 02:38 AM
^^ Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I invest 2-3 songs in everyone I speak to. I think this is reasonable; translates to 9-15 mins. I'm not talkin' "wanna dance"chicks
And yeah I'm pretty cute ( guys tell me I look like a porcelain baby doll) and I have a wealthy SO.. but not a SD. I normally agree with you dude, but my SO doesnt pay for any of my expenses.
Earl_the_Pearl
08-22-2009, 04:37 AM
...what?
I actually found that quite offensive, because I've seen many, many, many more men become violent after being rejected than I've seen women get snotty...and yet you say "women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection a lot worse than typical men"?
That is because your life is spent in a world of troubled individuals.
Earl_the_Pearl
08-22-2009, 04:42 AM
well i understand what westcoast is saying. i'm used to going out and just standing there and having guys walk up to me trying to talk to me.
If that brothers you don't worry in a few years you will not get a second look; that is a fact.
audrey_k
08-22-2009, 08:57 AM
I think men have very impudent approach to picking women in the bar. A friend of mine, he used to go for the boobs straight. That used to be his pickup technique when he was younger. There were no fancy pickup lines involved.
That is not a pickup technique, that is SEXUAL ASSAULT. Tell me please, where is your friend now?
figure it this way in a club, most times you got chicks optimally drressed to be sexy and attractive putting out their best look, wearing skimpy lingerie or whatever, 6 inch plus heels, tons of makeup, good lighting, ass hanging out - and the guy so-to-speak "rejects" her. Of course it hurts them, in part because they aint used to it.
the reality is despite nearly 50 yrs of women's lib bullshit... its still men doing most of the asking in real life, and it probably explains why women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection alot worse than typical men.
First off; you are an idiot.
Second, what you and most customers seems to fail to understand about rejection ITC is that it's business, not pleasure. Guys get upset when a women at the club rejects them because they're actually INTERESTED in her. I'm not interested in any of my customes beyond their wallets. If they reject me, I'm dissapointed because I wanted their money. But whatever, I will move on to the next one. As my manager told me when I was upset about two assholes rejecting me, "there's other customes, why is it bothering you? would you really give those men the time of day in real life?"
I don't compare ITC to getting hit on OTC. I do get hit on a lot OTC, but these guys are hitting on me because they're attracted to my personality/looks or they're just hoping to get shit for free. Unless a customer spends a lot of time talking to me, they don't really know anything about me. I may not lie but my personality ITC is very different from my personality OTC... ITC I am being paid to entertain. And I'm being paid to make the other person feel good and special. I'm going to spend most of the conversation asking them about themselves and agreeing or finding common links to their interests/opinions. I'm a hardcore liberal but if my customer says they hate Obama and are glad gay marriage wasn't passed in CA, I'm not going to tell them they're an asshole. Same thing if a customer tells me they hate theatre-- I'm not going to tell them I'm a playwright. And customers know when they get asked for a dance that there is a price tag attached. There's no price tag (obviously anyway) OTC.
Any dancer who takes rejections to a personal level is not going to last... it's too grating to get rejected over and over and feel that it's YOU. That dancer is also brand new. I took it personally my first few weeks until I realized that most of the time if a customer rejects me off the bat they either aren't interested in getting dances, have someone else they prefer, or something about my appearance or demanor didn't vibe with them, but it will with the next or the next next customer. Many girls told me this when I started but I didn't really see it until I had guys telling me I was the sexiest women they'd ever seen and guys telling me I wasn't worth half the cost of a dance. We dancers are way stronger than you customers think we are. The amount of bullshit we put up with insane and most of the time it's not for near the money you think it is.
The only time a rejection from a customer really bothers me is a) if it's REALLY dead and there's no one else or b) they were really rude about it, and felt the need to insult me in doing so or c) they wasted a lot of my time leading me on.
laurcon
08-22-2009, 10:59 AM
If that brothers you don't worry in a few years you will not get a second look; that is a fact.
thanks. didn't say it bothered me or brothered me.
that was just an unnecessary personal dig. i dislike you even more than i did previously, thanks again.
don't they have a prostitutes board you can post on earl? i really don't think stripperweb is the correct outlet for you.
xdamage
08-22-2009, 11:16 AM
That is not a pickup technique, that is SEXUAL ASSAULT. Tell me please, where is your friend now?
Again, the only reasonable explanation is that he has been raised in a different culture, different part of the world, and so he really can't fathom why this bit of frivolity would not go over well in the context of this forum.
What is obviously assault to us in the USA, and what is felt by women (presumably) universally in all cultures, apparently remains nothing but a humorous prank to some.
firemaiden04
08-22-2009, 11:52 AM
That is because your life is spent in a world of troubled individuals.
No, my life is not spent in a world of troubled individuals. I wasn't speaking of strip club patrons, I was speaking of men from my past, or the way guys behave in the clubs and bars around here.
JayATee
08-22-2009, 11:53 AM
If that brothers you don't worry in a few years you will not get a second look; that is a fact.
That's ok Earl, I bet you don't get looked at at all, even when you're paying them. ::)
mediocrity
08-22-2009, 01:50 PM
That's ok Earl, I bet you don't get looked at at all, even when you're paying them. ::)
http://img380.imageshack.us/img380/2882/owned9wz.jpg
WiseGuy_TX
08-22-2009, 02:49 PM
its still men doing most of the asking in real life, and it probably explains why women on average probably handle initial contact-type rejection alot worse than typical men....cant see how man/woman history has anything to do with a persons feelings at the very moment they are being rejected. Women "may" take it differently because they are wired differently.
Cyril
08-22-2009, 10:35 PM
Says a lot about the company you keep. You hang out with guys who walk up and grab random chicks' breasts?
Yes. I do.
FYI for you: There is a big difference between a strip club and a night club. Why don't you hit a night club in San Francisco (or any major city in USA) on a weekend and find out for yourself.
Cyril
08-22-2009, 10:40 PM
That is not a pickup technique, that is SEXUAL ASSAULT. Tell me please, where is your friend now?
It is not a sexual assault if both parties consent to it.
Bob_Loblaw
08-22-2009, 11:11 PM
Yes. I do.
FYI for you: There is a big difference between a strip club and a night club. Why don't you hit a night club in San Francisco (or any major city in USA) on a weekend and find out for yourself.
Just because this occurs regularly in the porn films you watch such as Saturday Night Beaver, doesn't mean it's normal, socially accepted behavior in real life.