Log in

View Full Version : If you don't want a dance...



Pages : 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8

goreantx
08-25-2009, 10:52 PM
yes this could explain why women (even though only a parallel to real life) when placed in such circumstances have such difficulty handling rejection, and often seek to avoid it completely

::)

Hey, West Coast, wanna dance?

JayATee
08-25-2009, 11:13 PM
The "rejection" issue first presented in this thread is not rejection per se but a more narrowly defined issue of initial-contact type rejection. In regards to THAT issue, gender specific hard wiring and million of yrs of males as sexual predators and women as sexual gatekeepers - is going to influence the issue - in that males were forced to be the primary actors and females the primary (passive) deciders. In a strip club. to the degree there is a role reversal, yes this could explain why women (even though only a parallel to real life) when placed in such circumstances have such difficulty handling rejection, and often seek to avoid it completely


Wow... dude.... just... wow... I don't even know where to start. I STARTED THIS THREAD BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER JUST BE REJECTED STRAIGHT UP. Nothing influences anything. You're reading way too much into this and it's really obnoxious. I don't give a damn if a guy doesn't want a dance from me. I care if he's wasting my fucking time. Go complicate someone else's issue alright? You're really not as smart as you seem to think you are.

Good lord. ::)

WestCoast101
08-25-2009, 11:52 PM
Xdamage states"Now this lacked class.. why the sudden switch to crude sexual imagery? Oh sexual imagery has it's place and I am all for raw sexuality but how does it fit in the context of this thread?"

LOL on this site? and what 40 yrs into the sexual revoluton? its adults only in here and they can handle it, and more precisely 1. THAT in fact is deemed the evolutionary based position, since we do afterall share common ancestry with apes and 2. its common knowlege among most rational females. So if one is denying or claiming to be "garbage" other evolutionary based influences or explanations, they must then explain why something with such obviously deep primordial based roots is still operating millions of years later as an optimal position method even when modern alternate positions should work just as well. Point is understanding this fact assists in trying to explain the larger issue. By the way, though less advantageous, the woman on top position can work pretty well too, maybe something to do with the hard working cave man falling asleep and being attacked at night, not sure.

WestCoast101
08-26-2009, 12:17 AM
the guys are sometimes simply trying to be polite with dancers by continuing the conversation THE DANCER usually initates, and as someone pointed out early in the thread - customers can be damned if they do and damned if they don't, because if they say "no" or "no thanks" or whatever too quickly, or the guy all of a sudden in the middle of the conversation injects the issue - she gets insulted also

Shy_Guy
08-26-2009, 12:26 AM
You're really not as smart as you seem to think you are.

No fair, you stole my line }:D

princessjas
08-26-2009, 03:38 AM
women prefer doggystyle? where's this coming from?

Yep, I was wondering this too? Let's face it! Girls talk about this stuff...and of all my friends I only recall one girl ever saying doggy was her favorite! :P

MarvelGirl
08-26-2009, 05:14 AM
women prefer doggystyle? where's this coming from?

He pays for sex, that's why he thinks that. Prostitutes often claim that doggystyle is their favorite position because it's easier for them to feign enjoyment since the man can't see their face.

xdamage
08-26-2009, 06:19 AM
...So if one is denying or claiming to be "garbage" other evolutionary based influences or explanations, they must then explain why something with such obviously deep primordial based roots is still operating millions of years later as an optimal position method even when modern alternate positions should work just as well. Point is understanding this fact assists in trying to explain the larger issue....

You are apparently trying to say that men may have evolved wiring to cope with rejection (or the inverse women have not). While anything is possible, it would be difficult to prove. Possibly a researcher could set up a certain kind of experiment that puts a large group of males and females into rejection situations and measure their biological response, but it would still be difficult to really know if it was social training or biological.

Like I said I do understand that if you look across multiple cultures and multiple periods of history it becomes apparent that there are patterns, statistical differences in behavior between the sexes. Likewise that if you look at animal populations, the sexes didn't just split so one can have a penis and one a vagina; there are far greater biological differences that are not visible to our eyes, brain chemistry levels, and that one is the child bearer is a dramatic difference, but...

Again it is very difficult to really be sure where biology ends and social training/rituals begin. If you see enough of a pattern, across enough cultures, it is possible there is a relationship though not necessarily a direct cause/effect relationship; the apparent pattern could be due to very loosely connected reasons.

In the end it hardly matters though. Rejection is simply no fun. Different people handle it better then others. Even if there is a pattern that applies to the sexes if you look at any specific individual they may or may not follow the pattern. The amazing thing about human brains is that even if they are genetically pre-wired with some instincts, neural nets are remarkably re-trainable. An individual can learn to dramatically alter their reaction to a situation. Another way to say it is that if you put a dancer into the situation often enough, chances are she will train herself to deal with it well enough.

WestCoast101
08-26-2009, 09:48 AM
Marvel says "He pays for sex, that's why he thinks that. Prostitutes often claim that doggystyle is their favorite position because it's easier for them to feign enjoyment since the man can't see their face."

LOL, with you for sure then!!!

WestCoast101
08-26-2009, 10:06 AM
XDamage "You are apparently trying to say that men may have evolved wiring to cope with rejection (or the inverse women have not)"

Well stated, yes its not provable per se but its amazing how many different things on at least a correlative (though not necessarily causative) basis tie into the evol-bio concept.

By the way I've read a very large number of your posts and also those of Melonie, the first for the evol-bio spin and with Melonie on the finance and macro issues, both offering an unusual degree of insight on these issues.

Elvia
08-26-2009, 03:41 PM
Marvel says "He pays for sex, that's why he thinks that. Prostitutes often claim that doggystyle is their favorite position because it's easier for them to feign enjoyment since the man can't see their face."

LOL, with you for sure then!!!

I don't get this. Is this one of those childish retorts that doesn't make any sense, like "yeah, like your face!?"

JayATee
08-26-2009, 04:07 PM
I don't get this. Is this one of those childish retorts that doesn't make any sense, like "yeah, like your face!?"

Yup. You got it. That's exactly what it is. LoL. ;)

yoda57us
08-26-2009, 04:37 PM
May as well face it ladies. He's rubber and your all glue. Anything you say to him bounces off and sticks to you...::)

princessjas
08-26-2009, 04:46 PM
I don't get this. Is this one of those childish retorts that doesn't make any sense, like "yeah, like your face!?"

I was confused too, but just thought I was being dense.


May as well face it ladies. He's rubber and your all glue. Anything you say to him bounces off and sticks to you...::)

:rotfl:

CCRiderM
08-26-2009, 06:30 PM
if a customer says he doesn't want a dance before i even talk to him, i'm slightly irritated because i wasn't coming to ask him for a dance anyway! sometimes i just wanna chat and have a drink and see where things go.

Most often, guys have made the Yes/No decision as we watched you walk up. For example, I am just not into tattoos. If a girl walks up with a full sleeve on, I'm just not gonna. I know she is there to make money and quite frankly, I don't want her wasting time sitting with me going through the banter just to get to the "No thanks" That's five or ten minutes that she could be using to earn some real money.

Or, like was the case last week, I was traveling for business and just wanted to stop in and watch some pretty women dance. I walked up from the bar to the stage to tip every girl who danced a couple of dollars but I just was not in the mood for any private dances or company. I just wanted to have a beer and watch the stage show, tipping my way through the night.

I was very upfront and said to anyone that stopped by that "I'm just not looking for company tonight." but quite frankly it felt a bit rude. I also had some very nasty responses from some of the dancers and this was in an upscale club.

How do you ladies suggest that we handle these situations?

Elvia
08-26-2009, 06:32 PM
^^^ I think that's perfect. It's a far cry from the guys who just scream "NO!" as soon as any dancer gets near them.

Shy_Guy
08-26-2009, 09:08 PM
There is no perfect way. Every girl is different, therefore what one girl thinks is perfect is rude to another. I've been chastised for saying "no thank you" too soon, the girl thought I was being rude. I've been harrassed for waiting too long; I was wasting her time (although she never asked if I wanted dance/company/whatever.)

The moral is never believe there is a "right" way. You can please all the people some of the time, some people all the time, but you can't please all the people all the time.

Be polite. The rest is out of your hands.

hot4ablackchick
08-26-2009, 11:47 PM
There is no perfect way. Every girl is different, therefore what one girl thinks is perfect is rude to another. I've been chastised for saying "no thank you" too soon, the girl thought I was being rude. I've been harrassed for waiting too long; I was wasting her time (although she never asked if I wanted dance/company/whatever.)

The moral is never believe there is a "right" way. You can please all the people some of the time, some people all the time, but you can't please all the people all the time.

Be polite. The rest is out of your hands.

True. Nothing is going to make me go away haha! But really unless you tell me you are not going to get any dances with me, or that you are only here to see X, then I will probably ask you 3 or 4 more times before I give up. I am there to make as much money as possible and I don't know who and when guys are going to spend money. A guy could think he doesn't want a dance from you but see you onstage or in a different outfit and change his mind. Or perhaps the girl(s) he is waiting on never comes over or is busy, pushing you 'up the list of possibilities.' You will have to invest some time when are at work and that time will not always work out financially. Taking mere seconds to ask for a dance is "worth" the potential "investment." Getting angry/annoyed at guys who don't have the "right" answer is silly and not worth the energy of being annoyed. Because their is no "right" answer. Some girls will get shitty no matter what you say. If you are asking to join them for company then you have a right to be annoyed if they do not pay for your time. But even then it all comes down to investing. If you sit down with a guy, your chances of selling a dance increase, so it is "worth" sitting. I've never gotten angry and yelled at a guy for "letting" me sit with them but not compensating me. I typically will not sit down for more than a song or two and if you are not buying me a drink or tipping I am closing the sale quickly and moving on. I always ask before I sit to weed out the guys who are not interested but some guys are going to say yes and still not spend money simply because they feel too rude saying no. They don't realize it would be better financially to say no rather than let us waste our time. There was a dancer who would sit with custies and not talk to them. She would sit down, introduce herself and thats it. It seemed as if she waited for guys to ask for the dance and made no effort to make conversation with them. She became upset when after sitting with a guy for 25-35 mins, he asked if she could get up, so someone who would talk to him could come over, as he couldn't get approached with her there. She yelled at him and told everyone to stay away from that "rude asshole."

BTW, I am not in favor of guys letting girls sit when they know they are not going to get a dance, and are not at the very least going to part with at least a drink or a tip. Unless the tip is quite large or the drink is 3 or more, I would still rather be told no than sit even for a song or two. Its much better than nothing, but I could be trying to sell to someone else. If you know there is no way in hell no matter how great her personality is, then just say no. If she sits without asking I'd let her know ASAP that you are waiting for someone else. No matter what you say there is no 100% way not to piss someone off. Some hardcore hustlers also don't care. They are going to try to sell you anyway. Usually "I'm set for the night" and other obvious ones like "I'm only getting dances from so and so," or "I'm broke" will make me never talk to you again, but thats just me.

laurcon
08-27-2009, 12:43 AM
"i'm just not looking for company tonight" is great! that says to me that you want a dance, but not with me, and you don't want to sit with me. no prob.
my prob is when i guy specifically says "i don't want a dance" when i've just said hi and wasn't going to ask for awhile... but meanwhile talking to me for two songs was only gonna save him from all the other girls asking him for dances he doesn't want at the moment. and i'm hilarious ;D
and i always end up getting a drink or tip or VIP. i wouldn't really want 3 drinks from one customer in like 20 mins, i'm not trying to black out!

hot4ablackchick
08-27-2009, 01:45 AM
^^Oh no not alcoholic drinks necessarily! I would just get juice or fakes, alco drinks don't count towards our house fee anyway.

hockeybobby
08-27-2009, 04:27 AM
This thread = my brain hurts.

JayATee
08-27-2009, 05:50 AM
^It wasn't supposed to turn out like that... :-[

Earl_the_Pearl
08-27-2009, 05:53 AM
This thread = my brain hurts.
The only thing a PL can do to please all of the dancers is walk in hand out all of his money in two minutes and leave.

JayATee
08-27-2009, 05:58 AM
^Shut up. Please? Ill give you a cookie. ::)

hot4ablackchick
08-27-2009, 08:58 AM
^^LOL

femmefatale88
08-27-2009, 11:56 AM
Guys who come to the SC and don't want dances should wear a sign on their head that says "no dances "...Would save us a lot of time. Haha

goreantx
08-27-2009, 12:23 PM
I was very upfront and said to anyone that stopped by that "I'm just not looking for company tonight." but quite frankly it felt a bit rude. I also had some very nasty responses from some of the dancers and this was in an upscale club.

How do you ladies suggest that we handle these situations?

Tell them you are just stopping by for a drink, you wish you had more time to spend with them, and give them a dollar. Everyone wins! You're only out 15-20 bucks and they all love you without pushing the dance issue. You're already tipping the girls on stage, why not the ones that come up close to say hi.

goreantx
08-27-2009, 12:27 PM
The only thing a PL can do to please all of the dancers is walk in hand out all of his money in two minutes and leave.

... so that's what heaven is like... :cloud9:

hot4ablackchick
08-27-2009, 11:35 PM
The only thing a PL can do to please all of the dancers is walk in hand out all of his money in two minutes and leave.

Why even walk in??? Why not just throw your wallet into a safe deposit box, wait in your car, and it will be returned after we drained it? We don't want to see the PL's face, take money out of his disgusting, pathetic hand, or be in a situation where we may have to humor him in any way to get the money. We don't want PL's to interupt our naked lesbian pillow fights anyway.::)

vmurphy252
08-27-2009, 11:40 PM
Naked Lesbian Pillow Fights would be an awesome name for a band.

Earl_the_Pearl
08-28-2009, 12:50 AM
Naked Lesbian Pillow Fights would be an awesome name for a band.
Lesbians polluted my ex-wife's mind.

CCRiderM
08-28-2009, 06:34 AM
We don't want PL's to interupt our naked lesbian pillow fights anyway.::)

Wait...Naked Lesbian Pillow Fights???

I KNEW there was another even more special room than the VIP. I miss all the good stuff....}:D

SerenaSin
08-28-2009, 08:17 AM
Is there any way to block an "ignored" buffoon's quoted replies in other people's posts?

Please, dear lord, tell me there is a way!!!

how do you put someone on ignore?? i cant figure it out! :'(

vmurphy252
08-28-2009, 10:06 AM
how do you put someone on ignore?? i cant figure it out! :'(

If you go to their profile and pull down User Lists there should be an option for it...

laurcon
08-28-2009, 10:21 AM
Wait...Naked Lesbian Pillow Fights???

I KNEW there was another even more special room than the VIP. I miss all the good stuff....}:D

well are you making sure to take back at least two girls at a time? can't have a NLPF with only one stripper ;)
pillow fights are great but the pillows at the club are the lame throw-pillow kind, not as fun as the king-sized sleeping kind that really knock a bitch out! }:D

lopaw
08-28-2009, 09:20 PM
... so that's what heaven is like... :cloud9:

Naked Lesbian Pillow Fights is sounding pretty heavenly too!;D

CCRiderM
08-29-2009, 08:22 AM
well are you making sure to take back at least two girls at a time? can't have a NLPF with only one stripper ;)
pillow fights are great but the pillows at the club are the lame throw-pillow kind, not as fun as the king-sized sleeping kind that really knock a bitch out! }:D


Damn, I didn't know it was that simple...I'm gonna have to remember that next time. I think I'll ask my favorite club to develop a NLPF special....

I'll let you know where to find it when I have it set up Lopaw.

JayATee
08-29-2009, 04:03 PM
Naked Lesbian Pillow Fights is sounding pretty heavenly too!;D


Im in! }:D

audrey_k
08-30-2009, 08:08 PM
Most often, guys have made the Yes/No decision as we watched you walk up. For example, I am just not into tattoos. If a girl walks up with a full sleeve on, I'm just not gonna. I know she is there to make money and quite frankly, I don't want her wasting time sitting with me going through the banter just to get to the "No thanks" That's five or ten minutes that she could be using to earn some real money.

Or, like was the case last week, I was traveling for business and just wanted to stop in and watch some pretty women dance. I walked up from the bar to the stage to tip every girl who danced a couple of dollars but I just was not in the mood for any private dances or company. I just wanted to have a beer and watch the stage show, tipping my way through the night.

I was very upfront and said to anyone that stopped by that "I'm just not looking for company tonight." but quite frankly it felt a bit rude. I also had some very nasty responses from some of the dancers and this was in an upscale club.

How do you ladies suggest that we handle these situations?

I really disagree with your first statement. I hardly think most customers make the decision before a dancer sits with them. The customers who spend the most money on me are the ones who keep telling me how much fun I am and how I am the nicest one that has approached them.

As for your response, sorry but girls are getting pissed because you're wasting space for another customer that might buy dances or help me with my drink quota. That's cool that you want to come see girls dance, but a couple dollars on stage is just annoying if you're the only customer in the club and I have to keep going up and getting naked for $2. Or you're the only customer at the tip rail and I keep being pulled away from other customers because of the stage rotation. I really just don't think customers should go to SCs if they don't want to interact with the dancers. What's the point? Wouldn't sitting at home watching it on TV be better and cheaper?

However, I'm mostly indifferent to the guys who tell me they're good or don't want company and just think they're odd. It's the guys who tell me they don't want dances because they're so awesome they don't "need to pay for pussy" that I want to stick in the eye with my heels.

JayATee
08-30-2009, 09:07 PM
I really disagree with your first statement. I hardly think most customers make the decision before a dancer sits with them. The customers who spend the most money on me are the ones who keep telling me how much fun I am and how I am the nicest one that has approached them.



I agree with you completely. But you're always gonna get the shallow guys who based off your looks alone will decide whether or not to spend money on you.

dreamer1980
09-10-2009, 05:57 PM
As for your response, sorry but girls are getting pissed because you're wasting space for another customer that might buy dances or help me with my drink quota. That's cool that you want to come see girls dance, but a couple dollars on stage is just annoying if you're the only customer in the club and I have to keep going up and getting naked for $2. Or you're the only customer at the tip rail and I keep being pulled away from other customers because of the stage rotation. I really just don't think customers should go to SCs if they don't want to interact with the dancers.in his defense at least he's tipping the stage, no? although its not much, he's showing proper club etiquette and being polite with the girls. who knows, maybe a customer is low on cash that night but is planning a return visit after payday. when he returns he remembers your stage performance, liked what he saw and buys a dance or two or even a VIP ;).


But you're always gonna get the shallow guys who based off your looks alone will decide whether or not to spend money on you.im not sure that can be called shallow in a strip club. the main attraction is physical beauty (in the eye of the beholder) and that alone usually determines the sale. its whats being offered and it hits upon male instinct. i would say that a dancers attitude has a factor in the buying decision (its certainly a big factor for me). but for some guys its not the driving force.

laurcon
09-10-2009, 08:49 PM
in his defense at least he's tipping the stage, no? although its not much, he's showing proper club etiquette and being polite with the girls. who knows, maybe a customer is low on cash that night but is planning a return visit after payday. when he returns he remembers your stage performance, liked what he saw and buys a dance or two or even a VIP ;).

im not sure that can be called shallow in a strip club. the main attraction is physical beauty (in the eye of the beholder) and that alone usually determines the sale. its whats being offered and it hits upon male instinct. i would say that a dancers attitude has a factor in the buying decision (its certainly a big factor for me). but for some guys its not the driving force.

first, wow!! omg you mean that loser might come back and spend $20 or $40 or even $300 on me?!? (assuming his cheap ass only does 1/2hr VIP) yes that's an investment worth making! ::)
in so many ways that makes terrible stripper-sense.

second, that's shallow. we didn't say being shallow is "wrong" in a SC, but just what it is. i know i get annoyed if a customer i liked ends up doing a VIP with another girl because she looks just like me but with bigger tits. that's life though, i just wait for the customer that appreciates me on many levels and compensates me well for the full-spectrum of entertainment i provide 8)

JayATee
09-10-2009, 09:12 PM
im not sure that can be called shallow in a strip club. the main attraction is physical beauty (in the eye of the beholder) and that alone usually determines the sale. its whats being offered and it hits upon male instinct. i would say that a dancers attitude has a factor in the buying decision (its certainly a big factor for me). but for some guys its not the driving force.

This isn't true. The most gorgeous dancer ITC can have the personality of a wet blanket and not know the first thing about LD's. It's ridiculous to go off looks alone.

Earl_the_Pearl
09-11-2009, 01:52 AM
This isn't true. The most gorgeous dancer ITC can have the personality of a wet blanket and not know the first thing about LD's. It's ridiculous to go off looks alone.
So true; fat girls give better personal service because they have to. :party:

Djoser
09-11-2009, 10:49 AM
Stripclubs are almost by definition shallow, and a very, very large percentage of customers will have made up their mind not to get a dance before the woman even sits down and makes the pitch.

I don't see anything terribly wrong with that--this is an industry which focuses on appearance, and it should be. However only a fool would spend his hard-earned cash without getting an idea what kind of personality the woman has.

Way back before ten years ago, when I was an occasional customer, I occasionally bought dances from really good-looking women who clearly were just going through the motions, and it seemed like a waste of the money. Much better to spend that money on a slightly less good-looking woman who puts some effort into getting to you know you a bit, and some effort into the dance.

But there were always a lot of women from whom I would never get a dance from, especially in the clubs with lower hiring standards. If a woman isn't attractive at all to me, there's not much she's going to be able to say to change that--though I might enjoy her company purely as a friend in or outside the club.

But only an idiot--and probably a pretty rude idiot, would deliberately waste a dancer's time if he didn't want a dance in the first place. If they are in full aggressive sales mode and aren't picking up the hints that it's not going to happen, there are still polite ways to firmly say no thanks.

dreamer1980
09-11-2009, 12:54 PM
first, wow!! omg you mean that loser might come back and spend $20 or $40 or even $300 on me?!? (assuming his cheap ass only does 1/2hr VIP) yes that's an investment worth making! ::)sure, he could come back and buy a dance or more (perhaps a VIP) because he enjoyed the stage show but only had enough money at the time for stage tipping. ive done this myself before. and who knows, it might develop into a regular customer situation ;). im just looking at this with the "glass half full" mentality :). however if the guy is a known regular who doesnt buy dances, doesnt tip and wants girls to sit with him only for hours on end then i can see how unproductive that would be. thats also what i consider cheap.


This isn't true. The most gorgeous dancer ITC can have the personality of a wet blanket and not know the first thing about LD's. It's ridiculous to go off looks alone.OTC it is dumb, but ITC most guys just want what they consider a "hot girl" dancing for them. i tend to think of it as primitive male instinct ITC, but OTC i would consider it shallow to like a girl only based off looks. most guys on this forum, myself included, really do rank personality very high on the scale ITC. but unfortunately we are only a small percentage of what makes up all of the club customers.

laurcon
09-11-2009, 01:42 PM
^^ i forgot to emphasize the word MAYBE. like the chances of a guy not having enough money to buy one dance one night and then having enough money to end up becoming a reg? trust me, as a dancer, the "glass half full" mentality can end up being a giant waste of valuable money-making time, i've been through it.

Djoser
09-11-2009, 02:36 PM
Yeah you really can't blame the dancers for not counting on guys coming back when they have more money. Sure it can happen, but there are so many bullshitters in the clubs too. Wasting time with a guy who has only tipped a few girls and doesn't want a dance doesn't make much business sense at all.

The smart move then, if the guy seems like he is for real and not just another bullshitter trying to monopolize the dancer's time, is to politely say something about having to 'get back to work, maybe I'll see you around next time you come in (with MONEY).' ;D

CCRiderM
09-12-2009, 05:51 AM
This isn't true. The most gorgeous dancer ITC can have the personality of a wet blanket and not know the first thing about LD's. It's ridiculous to go off looks alone.

Absolutely, I agree that looks aren't the only deciding factor. However, if a redhead walks up to a guy and he is absolutely a brunette guy, he's probably gonna take a pass no matter how good her personality is. So, I get back to why waste HER time. She needs to make money and she isn't going to do it with him.

(hypothetical example here....gotta love the redheads ;D)

Djoser
09-12-2009, 06:43 AM
There's a middle ground I think.

I hadn't really gotten all that many lapdances (though I used to get tabledances sometimes as they did that in Daytona), and when I started DJing I quit getting them altogether. Most of the time they seemed really fake to me anyway. But there have been a few who have danced for me at home, and if they were anywhere near as good in the club, they would have been worth a lot more than most, that's for sure. Better than the Playmate of the Year who was just going through the motions anyday--though they were certainly hot enough in my mind too.

But a lot of guys won't get dances if the woman just isn't their 'type', either, no matter what she did--I never did and still wouldn't if I started getting dances again for some reason.