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Elvia
10-14-2009, 10:07 PM
^^^ Why would this scare off other dancers?

millions_of_peaches
10-14-2009, 10:24 PM
"I AM in shape, round is a shape...." can't remember where I heard this from, but it still amuses the hell out of me....

Back on topic, I really, honestly, don't know one, not even ONE, fat woman (or guy, for that matter) who is happy that way. Accepts themselves (perhaps out of resignation), maybe, but not happy that they are fat. It may be perhaps that they do exist, but I have not met one.

Heavy women with curves all in the right place, or weightlifter/wrestling types (men and women), maybe, but that is a whole different category!

millions_of_peaches
10-14-2009, 10:25 PM
^^^ Why would this scare off other dancers?

because it scares off the clientelle?

Earl_the_Pearl
10-14-2009, 10:29 PM
Can I also state that I HATE IT when a heavy girl hits on me, and get's ten different kinds of offended when Im not interested.
If it is a true lust experience I would go with the flow; if they want compensation negotiate.

Kellydancer
10-14-2009, 11:07 PM
because it scares off the clientelle?

That. The club got fatter dancers and it scared away many of the professional clients. On top of this many of the fat dancers were offering extras (probably because otherwise they'd make no money) and made the club "dirty".

Earl_the_Pearl
10-15-2009, 03:58 AM
That. The club got fatter dancers and it scared away many of the professional clients. On top of this many of the fat dancers were offering extras (probably because otherwise they'd make no money) and made the club "dirty".
"Professional Clients"? What PL makes money at a SC?

MindeeMounds
10-15-2009, 05:28 AM
OK..I've read the different posts here. As some of you know, I am a BBW adult performer in my "night" job. I also operate 3 different BBW adult websites. I am happy the way I am. Now with that said..there are a number of different sites out there that are totally out of control encouraging people to grow to enormous sizes for various reasons, mostly sexually. Those sites I find to be disgusting. Some of you also know that my "day" job is an ER & Rape Nurse. I have no problem with people being various sizes. In my mind God made all kinds of people. Tall & short, thin & wide, black & white. There is room for everyone. However, I don't suggest that people go home at night and suck on a stick of butter.

To me, the "Fat" and/or "Size" acceptance group is as out of whack as PETA is in their own direction. Most of their group tends to spend their time whining about how they can't find clothes to drape across a 500 pound ass, or why our ER beds aren't built to hold them, or why should they have to pay extra because their butts don't fit in an airline seat. (Barbie's butt doesn't fit in an airline seat..but I digress...) I have no love for these groups. I'm very big on responsibility. I don't take it well when I am on duty at the hospital and I get a diabetic who's crashing because they've been home stuffing themselves with sugar goodies and have been non-compliant taking their meds. Same goes for bigger people. Yep, I'm bigger, and you know what? I have to pay more for my jeans to drape across my butt because it takes more fabric. I buy 2 airline tickets or fly first class because my rump is too big for a single seat. Don't whine, take responsibility! There are some truly scary people in the size acceptance movement, especially the feeder/feedee groups.

Quick Quiz! What's the fastest growing niche market in porn? BBW Porn! Yep, but you have to distinguish what they mean. In the BBW world, I'm barely considered to be a BBW. In the porn world, I'm on the very hairy edge of being too big. Also, there's a great deal of difference between black women & white women when it comes to size. A black woman can almost always carry more weight on her frame and not look anywhere near as large as a white woman carrying the same weight.

Don't be too quick to put your nose up in the air over bigger people. That's just not right. However, as I said earlier, I believe in responsibility. You need to take care of yourself. Eating yourself to a ginormous size is wrong, just as it is wrong to starve yourself into some sort of dangerous thin-ness. The truth is almost always in the middle. And some of us have bigger middles. It doesn't make us bad people!
XO
Mindee

Earl_the_Pearl
10-15-2009, 07:09 AM
^^^
Why would this scare off other dancers?


Extras.

Earl_the_Pearl
10-15-2009, 07:19 AM
It doesn't make us bad people!

I used to smoke; I no longer do. It was very difficult to quiet. Now is it the same for everyone? I think not.

jack0177057
10-15-2009, 08:31 AM
I think its interesting that while there may be all these campaigns to make overweight people feel better about themselves and be more accepted in society, the standard of female beauty depicted in fashion, magazines, movies, TV, etc., remains as stringent as ever - a slender body. An overweight girl is still going to be less attractive and desireable to boys than a slender one. So, is telling the girl that its okay to be overweight effective, when her dating prospects are very low? Can she really fail to notice that the slender girls get all the attention of the boys?

Maybe these feel-good campaigns have helped out overweight boys, as women can value personality over appearances. But, overweight girls are still facing the same issues - lack of interest from boys, low self-esteem, stereotypes of laziness, etc. Maybe there is more acceptance in the non-dating sphere of their lives, but in the romantic sphere, all the handicaps of overweight women remain intact.

I think the problem is the American culture which over-emphasizes eating (specially unhealthy eating) as a pleasurable and social activity. We are bombarded with food ads in every medium of advertising and dining is an integral part of socializing, dating and doing business in our culture. Add to that that American food contains so many additives, hormones, insecticides, etc. If you spend some time in Europe, you will notice how striking the difference is between the belly size of the average European and that of the average American.

It is unfair to blame overweight people in the US for having a "weak" will power, because the food=pleasure & comfort myth is so pervasive in our culture and is virtually impossible to escape. Eating is like an addiction and the temptation is always right in front of you.

Kellydancer
10-15-2009, 01:45 PM
"Professional Clients"? What PL makes money at a SC?

By professional clients I mean those who have money. The club I mentioned got in many lawyers, doctors, etc. Afterwards they started getting guys with no money.

xdamage
10-15-2009, 05:29 PM
Honestly I think if we lived in a poorer society where food was scarce or very expensive then gaining weight would be hard, and those who carry more would be seen as wealthy, attractive, special.

But in our culture, for most of us being heavy is easy and cheap, simply eat inexpensive food, don't exercise, and done. Most of us could be 100 lbs on and enjoy the food and lack of exercise, but the reverse, taking 20lbs off can feel like torture.

So in our culture, for most of us, thinness and lean muscles is what requires the greater effort, it is what is unique, and interesting and attracts our attention.

A total side story... since the comments on BBW reminded me. My daughter and I ended up by accident in a fetish nightclub. We were first let in (as they had to close the bar, and reopen it as a nightclub). About 30 minutes in we realized that not just some of the women were big women, but they all were. The men were average weight, but they were there at this nightclub to dance with and hit on these women. By an hour in the place was reasonably packed.

Now really it is not particularly surprising that in such a large population that some of the population's desires fall on either ends of bell curves, but I asked, okay... this kind of nightclub can exist in the USA, but can anyone imagine the reverse, a nightclub of 100s of 300+lb men dancing, a special nightclub just for heavy men? And frequented by average weight or even slender women who fetished over heavy men? I am thinking NEVER!

Point? None really. Just a reminder to us how interesting humans can be.

Blue_Dust_Bunny
10-15-2009, 05:38 PM
Honestly I think if we lived in a poorer society where food was scarce or very expensive then gaining weight would be hard, and those who carry more would be seen as wealthy, attractive, special.

But in our culture, for most of us being heavy is easy and cheap, simply eat inexpensive food, don't exercise, and done. Most of us could be 100 lbs on and enjoy the food and lack of exercise, but the reverse, taking 20lbs off can feel like torture.

So in our culture, for most of us, thinness and lean muscles is what requires the greater effort, it is what is unique, and interesting and attracts our attention.

A total side story... since the comments on BBW reminded me. My daughter and I ended up by accident in a fetish nightclub. We were first let in (as they had to close the bar, and reopen it as a nightclub). About 30 minutes in we realized that not just some of the women were big women, but they all were. The men were average weight, but they were there at this nightclub to dance with and hit on these women. By an hour in the place was reasonably packed.

Now really it is not particularly surprising that in such a large population that some of the population's desires fall on either ends of bell curves, but I asked, okay... this kind of nightclub can exist in the USA, but can anyone imagine the reverse, a nightclub of 100s of 300+lb men dancing, a special nightclub just for heavy men? And frequented not by average weight women who fetished over heavy men? I am thinking NEVER!

Point? None really. Just a reminder to us how interesting humans can be.

Actually "gainer" fetishes have recently grown in popularity ( I don't participate in the movement, so I don't know any facts. I've just seen some reports on TV and on Digg) so I totally see it as plausible.

A few of my friends also talk about the "cuddly bear/pillow" aspect of larger men. Sure they've never talked about excessively obese men so I don't know for sure, but I can see how women out there can also find large men attractive.

I think it has more to do with the fact that the market of male entertainment for women just doesn't sell as well as women entertainment for men (particularly due to are different biologically-geared motivations for sex). Its the same reason why any type of male dancer isn't as popular and why their isn't a male for women webcam market.

xdamage
10-15-2009, 07:34 PM
I think it has more to do with the fact that the market of male entertainment for women just doesn't sell as well as women entertainment for men (particularly due to are different biologically-geared motivations for sex). Its the same reason why any type of male dancer isn't as popular and why their isn't a male for women webcam market.

Oh I agree with this ;)

erotictonic
10-15-2009, 08:51 PM
I don't think it's ok to be too fat, because of health reasons. Nor do I think it's ok to be a drunk or a druggie, for the same reasons. I just see overweight as another overindulgence.

I'm not against happy too-fat people or happy too-skinny people (such as some supermodels) any more than I am happy drunk people. They don't bother me one way or another. If they want to form an alliance, more power to them. But I don't think unhealthy fat people will get too far, although unhealthy skinny people actually have.... take a look at Elle and you will see them all over the place.

The one thing I do find weird is that being too skinny is a lot more acceptable to a lot of people than being too fat, but both are unhealthy. Same-same in my book.

Alot of rock stars say fat chicks are the best in bed. I would have to say, I've done some fat people who are pretty damn good lol.

KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-15-2009, 10:49 PM
As opposed to MM - she isn't dancing much now and went on the pill, and gained 30 lbs very quickly. BUT - I keep telling her her body has a "fat distribution artistic director" in there. She has a tiny gay man in her body somewhere saying "okay, the first 3 lbs will go to the breasts (small A to small C in 60 days), then a few to the already amazing ass and we'll fill out the thighs and hips to match it, okay now just a smidge to the tummy, yeah - right there, a nice girlie pooch but keep it flat and firm! Okay, good - now just a little in the face and arms to keep it balanced - PERFECT! STOP!" and she hasn't gained another ounce since, lol. She went from super thin and awkward but hot European model body to straight off the nose of a WWII P-51 Mustang '40's pinup girl. HAWT AS HELL! Even died her hair and cut her bangs to go with the look - dead ringer for Betty Paige now, no exaggeration. [/bragging about my hot as hell fiance]

BUT - she also is cognizant of the fact that she's walking a fine line now, and says several times a week - "I need to watch these new curves, if they start to get lumpy Im heading straight to the gym for a week straight with no rest", lol.

THAT'S "curvy", THAT'S "healthy" THAT'S "a real woman". ;)

Dude, if my SO was talking in such detail about my weight on an internet forum, I would bitch slap the hell out of him. Don't you know its not polite to discuss a lady's weight? But hey, its your life.

Elvia
10-15-2009, 11:05 PM
Hmm. Well, I've been following this thread for awhile and I'm still not sure what to think of it. I guess that's largely because I'm not sure what each individual person is thinking here when they say "fat." Yes, to be obese is definitely not healthy, but where does just plain old "fat" fall on the scale? Is someone who could stand to lose an extra 10-15 pounds the subject of some of these rants? I would hope not.

I tend to have a hard time keeping on weight. It's always been that way and it's even more the case since I started dancing. I actually do think I look better when I weigh about 10 pounds more. Who knows, maybe it's even healthier for me. One winter I actually did devote myself to gaining that extra 10-15 pounds. I wasn't dancing then so that made it easier. People praised me a lot for it and told me I looked "so much healthier!" But, I've never been able to get back to that.

I guess what I'm saying is I can relate to Magaret Cho when she says "for me to be 10 pounds lighter is a full time job and I am turning in my notice!" Since for me to be 10 pounds heavier is a full time job I don't need.

We seem to be such a nation of extremes in this area. We have so many obese people, and yet we also have fashion models that are smaller than they're ever been and are dying of anorexia. Maybe we need to expand our definition of what's acceptable. I wouldn't want my daughter to be obese, but I also wouldn't want her to drive herself crazy because she's a little on the chubby side.

I will say I am sick of this "real women" are this way blah blah blah crap. So what are skinny women, holograms? ALL WOMEN are "real!"

erotictonic
10-15-2009, 11:05 PM
Dude, if my SO was talking in such detail about my weight on an internet forum, I would bitch slap the hell out of him. Don't you know its not polite to discuss a lady's weight? But hey, its your life.

I think it's entertaining and cute....

I tell my bf he has twins in there... he has a fat tummy. lol. My bf loves food. He loved cigs before that. Now if we can move him toward giving up the food..... :) It's done in a very affectionate and accepting (and silly :D) way, but at the same time he knows I am trying to direct him toward a healthy lifestyle.

Kellydancer
10-16-2009, 02:21 PM
Hmm. Well, I've been following this thread for awhile and I'm still not sure what to think of it. I guess that's largely because I'm not sure what each individual person is thinking here when they say "fat." Yes, to be obese is definitely not healthy, but where does just plain old "fat" fall on the scale? Is someone who could stand to lose an extra 10-15 pounds the subject of some of these rants? I would hope not.

I don't consider someone who needs to lose 10-15 (nor anyone who needs to lose say 20 pounds) "fat". By fat I'm talking someone who's way overweight. Example I have a friend who's 5'1 and 400 pounds. THAT'S fat. I have a relative who's around the same height and is about 150 pounds. Chubby yes, but not fat.





Alot of rock stars say fat chicks are the best in bed.

Not sure I would say a lot. I happen to know people who hang around with a particular rock band. They are probably the most superficial guys I've ever met because before and after the show all they complain about (and laugh at) are their "fat" fans. One of the members actually said they wished they had no fat fans. By their standards I'm sure "fat" means anyone who's not size 6 or so. When they come to town I no longer join my friend hanging out with them because of their superficial attitude (though to be honest I'm not especially crazy about a lot of their music either). Sadly, these guys aren't 20something year old guys.

Almost Jaded
10-16-2009, 02:37 PM
Jeez - 5'1" and 400?!! That's insane. My business partner and his wife are both very big (and very happy, and very realistic, and very cool, and hate the fat acceptance movement, lol) and I mean VERY big, and she's 400 at 5'7" or so, he's ~450 and 6'3" or 6'4"! 5'1"... That's like my partners wife's weight on MM... I can't fathom that... :eek:

Oh - Kiwi - I promise you she's not bothered by it, lol. Besides, it was all complimentary. ;) She's gotten really comfortable with her "curves" and loves her new look. When sh went back to the club one of the managers mentioned how much hotter she looked now - and then told another girl behind her to quit scowling, he wouldn't have told her to losse weight if she wore it like MM does, LMAO!

justifymylove
10-16-2009, 03:29 PM
I will say I am sick of this "real women" are this way blah blah blah crap. So what are skinny women, holograms? ALL WOMEN are "real!"

+1. That gets at the heart of this matter, it seems that no one can express an appreciation for a look without seeming to devalue another.

erotictonic
10-16-2009, 07:15 PM
Not sure I would say a lot. I happen to know people who hang around with a particular rock band. They are probably the most superficial guys I've ever met because before and after the show all they complain about (and laugh at) are their "fat" fans. One of the members actually said they wished they had no fat fans. By their standards I'm sure "fat" means anyone who's not size 6 or so. When they come to town I no longer join my friend hanging out with them because of their superficial attitude (though to be honest I'm not especially crazy about a lot of their music either). Sadly, these guys aren't 20something year old guys.

lol. Funny story. Some can be superficial and really mean that, I'm sure. Some may be saying that to try to get along with the hotties... I've seen a few who would say that and the next thing you know, they are doing a fat chick. Dating one? No, because that wouldn't be the image they are setting out to promote. But they'll do one. Some may be just doing it because they are little AW's who are putting on a show..... no fat chicks allowed! :) They're fitting a steretype.

Some very silly people in rock!

KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-17-2009, 01:56 AM
Oh - Kiwi - I promise you she's not bothered by it, lol. Besides, it was all complimentary. ;) She's gotten really comfortable with her "curves" and loves her new look.

Hey man, whatever works in your relationship, more power to you. Its just kind of odd to spend so much time discussing MM, when she is on the board herself already. Or maybe I'm just crazy paranoid about people discussing me and my weight at length?

Kellydancer
10-17-2009, 12:02 PM
lol. Funny story. Some can be superficial and really mean that, I'm sure. Some may be saying that to try to get along with the hotties... I've seen a few who would say that and the next thing you know, they are doing a fat chick. Dating one? No, because that wouldn't be the image they are setting out to promote. But they'll do one. Some may be just doing it because they are little AW's who are putting on a show..... no fat chicks allowed! :) They're fitting a steretype.

Some very silly people in rock!

Many silly people. Many jerks too (like the group in question). I wonder if the members who said that (wasn't all of them) would fool around with a fat groupie. Probably not but kind of funny to imagine.

Laurisa
10-17-2009, 05:09 PM
I don't think anyone has the right to make fun of someone's body image or scrutinize it. I understand that there are health risks related to obesity, but there are health risks with lots of other things that many Americans (including dancers) do regularly. This can include smoking, drinking, or having casual sex. There are doctors and medical warnings available for people who are overweight and need treatment or help losing weight. Keep in mind that being ten pounds overweight does not put you in any type of immediate medical danger. If you are an adult you have the right to control your own life as long as you do not hurt others in the process. Just because someone is overweight does not mean they are hurting you, regardless of your opinion of what is visually appealing.

You also have to remember that there is a market for every body type. You will meet men who like extremely skinny women, average women, athletic women, pudgy women, obese women, and morbidly obese women. You will meet women who like men who fall into those categories as well. There are people who will have sex with dogs, horses, and other animals. There are people that will drink piss and eat scat. People have done stranger than find themselves attractive if they are overweight, or look at an overweight person lustfully.

I have always been small. I fit into a size 0 before I got pregnant, and I was an average B cup. I'm prepared for my body changes and have adjusted to my swelling abdomen, it's part of the journey to motherhood. It startles me that people object to people being overweight as if it directly affects everyone in the country.

Granted, if you work in the sex industry it is typical to expect that you must be physically fit and meet certain standards. However, there are men and women who have sexual tastes outside of that guideline and will pay good money to find someone who can offer it. That goes for dancers, porn stars, models, and the like.

I think it is important to embrace yourself for who you are, not what you look like externally.