View Full Version : She Told Me She Doesn't Like Being a Dancer
bem401
09-23-2009, 11:18 AM
I've never had a girl who viewed me as a customer tell me she hated what she was doing or that she was ashamed of it. Had some girl I just met told me that, I'd be reluctant to do dances with her.
Most of the girls I've become friendly with have told me how much they hate it and want to do something, anything, else. I've never had one tell me she was ashamed in so many words, but I know several who conceal what they do from their families and others from their RL, so there is probably a touch of that involved.
princessjas
09-23-2009, 11:33 AM
I've never had a girl who viewed me as a customer tell me she hated what she was doing or that she was ashamed of it. Had some girl I just met told me that, I'd be reluctant to do dances with her.
Most of the girls I've become friendly with have told me how much they hate it and want to do something, anything, else. I've never had one tell me she was ashamed in so many words, but I know several who conceal what they do from their families and others from their RL, so there is probably a touch of that involved.
Well, they may be ashamed or possibly just don't want to deal with the headaches of revealing a controversial personal/professional choice to their families. I'm in no way ashamed of dancing, but reactions of people irl have caused me to be very careful who I will tell. Being lectured and/or shut out of peoples lives is a very real possibility and leading a double life is sometimes less stressful than dealing with either becoming a reality.
I actually think the ones that should be ashamed are the people that are so judgmental that I cannot reveal things in my life to them for fear of extremely negative reactions. I've never crossed any personal boundaries at work, so I'm not ashamed of my dancing at all...but any time I catch myself being a judgmental little crankypants I'm greatly shamed and embarrassed and strive to be a better person.
bem401
09-23-2009, 04:51 PM
Well, they may be ashamed or possibly just don't want to deal with the headaches of revealing a controversial personal/professional choice to their families. I'm in no way ashamed of dancing, but reactions of people irl have caused me to be very careful who I will tell. Being lectured and/or shut out of peoples lives is a very real possibility and leading a double life is sometimes less stressful than dealing with either becoming a reality.
I actually think the ones that should be ashamed are the people that are so judgmental that I cannot reveal things in my life to them for fear of extremely negative reactions. I've never crossed any personal boundaries at work, so I'm not ashamed of my dancing at all...but any time I catch myself being a judgmental little crankypants I'm greatly shamed and embarrassed and strive to be a better person.
Well, the girls in question made me think their being a dancer would be devastating to their families. I think they might have felt ashamed to be doing something their loved ones would apparently greatly disapprove of. One girl used to leave all her gear with me when her family visited from out of state.
IMO, non-relatives have no business being judgmental and friends who would be overly critical of a dancer would not be very good friends. At the same time, I've noticed that a lot of dancers don't seem to have a tremendous number of friends outside the business.
princessjas
09-23-2009, 05:57 PM
^^Ah, maybe she was ashamed then. I've never confessed to the parents, although several of my cousins know (I'm an only child so they are the only family members near my own age). I certainly don't hide my gear when the parents visit though. Can't tell you how many times they've seen my shoes in the top of my closet and I still have all the outfits and garters that I kept in my old dance bag sitting in the corner of my walk-in closet. Mom's in there all the time but eh, who cares? I mean, what are they going to say?? Their house would fit in my living room and Dad's last two cars have been gifts from me, so arguing I'm fucking up my life wouldn't go over so well. ;)
SerenaSin
09-24-2009, 06:15 AM
At the same time, I've noticed that a lot of dancers don't seem to have a tremendous number of friends outside the business.
Weird, with the exception of one or 2 girls I don't have ANY stripper friends. Maybe I'm just kind of a weirdo and don't feel I have much in common with the other dancers besides our job. (I do have a number of friends, both male and female, who have dabbled or are involved in the sex industry, but we were friends before i ever even considered dancing)
xdamage
09-24-2009, 08:28 AM
... but I know several who conceal what they do from their families and others from their RL, so there is probably a touch of that involved.
Hmm maybe though there is arguably a difference between feeling personal shame and not wanting to deal with others negative views (and some gray areas in the middle). The reality is pretty much anything to do with sex and what we do with our bodies in sexual ways invokes strong feelings others. Strong feelings that have them either judging us or advising us how to change. We tend to avoid that for good reasons.
laurcon
09-24-2009, 08:52 AM
IMO, non-relatives have no business being judgmental and friends who would be overly critical of a dancer would not be very good friends. At the same time, I've noticed that a lot of dancers don't seem to have a tremendous number of friends outside the business.
non-relatives have no business being judgmental but relatives do? if there's anyone that shouldn't judge you and should love you the way you are its your family!
second, i don't think that's fair to say at all. i know a ton of girls that keep to themselves at work and don't try to make fellow strippers their bff's. all of my friends are outside the business, i hardly ever hang out with girls i work with outside of work. even if you know 30 strippers personally and well enough to really know who their friends are (which is more than i know that well) that's a small percentage to base that statement off of. saying something like that just seems nuts to me.
bem401
09-24-2009, 02:15 PM
non-relatives have no business being judgmental but relatives do? if there's anyone that shouldn't judge you and should love you the way you are its your family!
second, i don't think that's fair to say at all. i know a ton of girls that keep to themselves at work and don't try to make fellow strippers their bff's. all of my friends are outside the business, i hardly ever hang out with girls i work with outside of work. even if you know 30 strippers personally and well enough to really know who their friends are (which is more than i know that well) that's a small percentage to base that statement off of. saying something like that just seems nuts to me.
1. Who said the family would stop loving you? They would just be more greatly impacted by the fact you were dancing and thus more judgmental..
2. My observation comes from the dozen or more girls I have occasion to interact with IRL or those I run into on occasion. More often than not, if they are not alone, they tend to be with another dancer more than half the time. Never said it was a hard and fast rule, just something I'd observed.
And X, clearly the girls I was referring to were worried about the reactions of others.
laurcon
09-24-2009, 07:36 PM
1. Who said the family would stop loving you? They would just be more greatly impacted by the fact you were dancing and thus more judgmental..
exactly, who said this?? i missed where i did in my post. i said they should love you the way you are and not judge. don't twist my words, thanks.
bem401
09-25-2009, 05:18 AM
If there's anyone that shouldn't judge you and should love you the way you are its your family!
Here's where I got it. The implication is there that they would be judgmental and not love you the way you are. If I misunderstood, my bad.
xdamage
09-25-2009, 06:07 AM
And X, clearly the girls I was referring to were worried about the reactions of others.
Understood.
FWIW many of us have said we think it is the stigma that keeps the dancer count low, and the splitting of the pie (the big of pot'o gold promise of making a grand a night!) lucrative.
Of course not everyone agrees with that, but I think...
You just can't tell 18+ people as a group, 'hey, there is way to make hundreds or even thousands a night, flexible hours, there is NO STIGMA AT ALL, and no you don't have sex with others!' and not expect them to come in droves to a job like that.
I honestly do believe if it ever comes to a point in time when people really believe the mantra that is PC to say in NL, "it's just a job" in regards to prostitution (or in this case stripping), if everyone really believed it, really felt it, felt no more concern telling others about it then they would waiting tables, working construction, performing dentistry, etc... that at least one variable would have to change.
Namely that by that point in history our feelings in society about sexual behaviors for money would have so dramatically changed that lap dances would be nearly valueless, and the pie would be cut so many ways, so thin, that on average it would pay no better then working any other job that an 18+ year old could get.
But that is the normal human condition. We are often conflicted in what we want, and constantly struggling with the ways in which our wants interact with each other.
princessjas
09-25-2009, 06:37 AM
^^The stigma issue is true to a point, but you are missing a very big issue. Most women do not have the self-confidence to be naked on stage in front of others. It is very difficult to open yourself up like that, regardless of money making opportunities. Even some self-confident women find they become awkward and shy and run off stage. (Can you imagine yourself getting on stage in front of a crowd and taking off your clothing?? Just dancing up there can be a bit embarrassing, you are sometimes thinking..."What if I look stupid, fall, what if they laugh, etc?")
Oh, and while it's shocking to me, I've heard a decent number of young girls, after their first shift say they just couldn't physically dance that much. Sedentary lifestyles have made this job difficult even for some that are thin and appear to be in pretty good shape.
xdamage
09-25-2009, 08:45 AM
^^The stigma issue is true to a point, but you are missing a very big issue. Most women do not have the self-confidence to be naked on stage in front of others.
True, however I was thinking farther into the future since I honestly don't believe SCs can last if our society continues on the path it is on. I may well be wrong, and I'm not judging, but just looking at NL where people take more pride in sexual liberalism then in the USA and where the social mantra is "it's just a job" in regards to prostitution. Our society is behind that on the stigma curve, but apparently on the same general path. A few more generations and we may catch up, at least in some some cities.
There is a huge sex industry in the Netherlands and ever increasing number of workers, prices dropping. Prostitution is "just a job", that is the social mantra, and the stigma is less then in the USA, though in fact people still don't really believe it, but if they fully believed it...
The stage show is secondary, and it is the lap dances and the prostitutes that make the big money these days. A lot of business is now done without a stage show. If things continue the stage show may well die. Actually there are stage shows in NL but a lot are live sex shows. Yep I bet it does take guts to do that, but see the bar has been raised dramatically from exotic dancing to sex in a society that has less stigma about sex.
I've also been to SCs where the dancers paid extra not to dance on stage, but did fine one on one selling LDs.
They do need guts to show their bodies and act, but people need guts to date and have sex with strangers for personal reasons. And if you asked my grand parents, well they can't imagine how it is that people today show much "skin" in public but seemingly are not embarrassed. They aren't because it is the norms they grew up with, and if things continue the fears we feel about doing X, Y, Z are likely to continue to decrease in future generations.
But yea, not everyone wants the job, but that is true of every job. The main question is are there so many that want the job that a kind of business critical mass is reached where the number of workers is sufficiently high that there is more then enough. At that point, that there is more then enough, the employers hold the upper hand and start bargaining strongly in their favor. It's true of all business though. It is why the last thing I want is for everyone to do what I do. The factors that keep them out are to my benefit (I just happen to be lucky it is not social stigma).
Suppose we had a crystal ball, and it was beyond a shadow of a doubt proven that in our future people had even less stigma about casual sex, and sex for money; that in that future committed relationships were less common, paid for sex very common. Stripping (aka teasing) for the current pay rates all but gone. If that was the truth of how it played out, does it change anything regarding what people want?
laurcon
09-25-2009, 10:06 AM
^ i don't understand the last question? would that change what people want? everything changes. either we adapt to it or fade out. perhaps there will just be a few stage venues in big cities like new york, LA, and vegas and legitimate brothels will replace most other SCs. but until it happens, who cares. its like talking about what it will be like when pot is legal. its not right now and that's the reality we have to deal with. ya we can work to change it but in the mean time we have to break the law if we want to get stoned.
speaking of getting stoned, places like the netherlands may be more sexually open and free, but they're still in the dark ages over in the middle east. the world is in no danger of complete sexual freedom anytime soon.
mediocrity
09-25-2009, 12:44 PM
I love how every thread turns into a fight.::)
laurcon
09-25-2009, 01:00 PM
I love how every thread turns into a fight.::)
yes that pretty much seems to be the jist of "customer conversation" :-\
i try to stay away but its hard! }:D
vmurphy252
09-25-2009, 01:05 PM
^She said hard.
Elvia
09-25-2009, 01:07 PM
customer conversation inspires me to give a prayer of thanks everyday at work that I can't hear my customer's thoughts.
vmurphy252
09-25-2009, 01:09 PM
^She said conversation.
JayATee
09-25-2009, 04:51 PM
^She said hard.
^She said conversation.
LoL. No... you're not an attention whore at all. :no:
Earl_the_Pearl
09-28-2009, 06:03 PM
customer conversation inspires me to give a prayer of thanks everyday at work that I can't hear my customer's thoughts.
PLs don't think when in a club; that is the corner stone of the business.
bootypads
10-15-2009, 11:40 AM
Hey Jack, I have been dancing for 3 years now. I started out thinking it was going to be temporary. The money can be good at times and then you have your bad nights. I really dont know any girl who loves that job.
It is not easy getting another job, especially if they have no experience in anything else. Also the money you make all week at a full time job, can be made in a few nights at the club. It is also a very convenient job in the fact that you can always get out of work easy. I have had several set backs in the past few months. A dog attack, tonsiltis and a sprained ankle. If I had a full time job, I would have lost it already.
And the dancers look at that job as entertainment ( as something to look at) but every guy that comes in thinks you are there to find a man or do things you really shouldnt have to do.
so I hope that answers your questions. and I dont think she would mind you going back to see her, but if she is really interested in you, you will know
jack0177057
10-15-2009, 02:20 PM
^^^ Thanks, bootypads. I haven't been back to see her, yet. I might go back in a couple of weeks to see her and her friend again.
ChantelinCharlotte
10-15-2009, 04:49 PM
Yes, you should go back and see her again, like you said you don't always like your job, but you still want clients! I think she felt comfortable with you and was just being honest. I use to be a dancer..and I hated it,(most of the time) but that didn't mean I didn't want to dance.. it was the other BS that got to me, ie. mean girls, dirty old men,perverts the clubs tring to take half your hard earned money etc. etc. Hope this helps! Chantel
Naida
10-15-2009, 05:07 PM
My two cents-
She may be telling the truth.
She may be lying in an attempt to hustle.
When it comes right down to the point, honest or lying, who really cares? If you enjoy her company, go see her again. If not, don't. That's all it really boils down to.
bootypads
10-16-2009, 05:56 AM
Hey all you dancers, I posted this in the market forum but I wanted to get it in several places. I have a trademarked product that I sew, It is a personalized pad to sit on with tassels and an elastic cord to carry it with. It is for dancers who dont wear much or anything and make it more comfortable to seat on vinyl seats and older chairs where people have been seating for years. you want to protect you tush. It also helps new customers rememeber who you are with your name embroidered on it. They come in several different colors.
go to and check it out.
jack0177057
10-16-2009, 11:56 AM
Yes, you should go back and see her again, like you said you don't always like your job, but you still want clients! I think she felt comfortable with you and was just being honest. I use to be a dancer..and I hated it,(most of the time) but that didn't mean I didn't want to dance.. it was the other BS that got to me, ie. mean girls, dirty old men,perverts the clubs tring to take half your hard earned money etc. etc. Hope this helps! Chantel
Yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think of that.
jack0177057
10-16-2009, 12:03 PM
My two cents-
She may be telling the truth.
She may be lying in an attempt to hustle.
When it comes right down to the point, honest or lying, who really cares? If you enjoy her company, go see her again. If not, don't. That's all it really boils down to.
If she tells me, I care... Its like if you are about to have an operation and, right before ther operation, the surgeon tells you he hates his job... Okay, its not exactly the same, but you get the idea... This revelation snuffs out the fantasy that she wants to dance for me. (Even though I realize its only a fantasy, I want that fantasy to be a part of my SC experience.)
chris91
10-19-2009, 06:35 PM
Hey Jack
Bootypads, you have the greatest screen name ever.
bootypads
10-20-2009, 05:23 AM
well thank you very much. I got tired of typing in mona 50 different ways (monalisa, monalee, monet) all were taken. so I just used my business name. did you see my website? ?
SteveSmith
10-20-2009, 10:06 AM
I try to keep the conversations short and stick to fluff talk. I never get into deep conversations because she may bring up something negative about herself that's going to turn me off. I like the dancer to be a clean slate and a total mystery. It's more fun that way.
Move on to the next dancer and consider this a lesson learned.
Naida
10-20-2009, 11:29 AM
This revelation snuffs out the fantasy that she wants to dance for me. (Even though I realize its only a fantasy, I want that fantasy to be a part of my SC experience.)
Just be the sweet guy. Go 50/50 buying dances and tipping for time. If she really likes you, she'll eventually like dancing for you too. Like with my regular- I didn't want to dance for him at first except that his cousin (a girl who used to dance in my club) told me his wallet was full. At first it was "fuck you, hand me the cash", but after talking more with him, I like dancing for him ^_^
erotictonic
10-21-2009, 12:23 AM
Yea, just forget about it. If you honestly did a poll, a large amount of dancers would say they didn't like their jobs.
Phil-W
10-21-2009, 02:05 PM
^^^
Perhaps a better poll would be "what percentage of the time don't you like your job?"
I've known dancers express both views depending on how well they've done in their shift - so it would be interesting to find out the balance between "love my job" and "hate my job."
Phil.
bootypads
10-22-2009, 05:21 AM
well I think everyone would like their job if they made 100's for the night but ask the girls if they like guys pawing all over them all the time and some of them smell bad and what about their hygiene, you never know what some people have and you are putting yourself at a much greater risk than most jobs. You also have the fact that most of the time you have to act, you want to make the guy feel good about himself, well some of them. There have already been some girls replying on here that they really dont or didnt like their job. Not to mention it is physical and it gets tiring being physical for a job. I know cuz I used to be a professional ballet dancer ,now I dance at a club and I get tired of it. My hands also hurt from the pole. I think girls would have more appreciation for themselves if they had a different job.
jack0177057
10-22-2009, 09:53 AM
Is there a difference between hating your job and being ashamed of it? If someone says they're ashamed of being a dancer and never expected to do this and they hide it from their friends and family, does that mean they hate their job? I guess its possible to enjoy something, but keep it hidden and be ashamed of it --- like masturbation...
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-22-2009, 01:55 PM
Why does everyone assume that so many guys at the SC smell bad and have poor hygiene? Its a recurring theme, and I guess non-dancers use it because they want to feel sorry for us or something?
I've only danced for a handful of poor hygiene guys in all my years. What's better, we always have the ability to decline dancing for such guys. Its not really that big a deal, at least in my experience. Most men are savvy enough to wash before they go to the club.
Bad breath is more common, but easy to work around.
erotictonic
10-22-2009, 03:07 PM
Is there a difference between hating your job and being ashamed of it? If someone says they're ashamed of being a dancer and never expected to do this and they hide it from their friends and family, does that mean they hate their job? I guess its possible to enjoy something, but keep it hidden and be ashamed of it --- like masturbation...
People are ashamed of masturbation? I guess I'm ignorant hehe.
I don't think I was honestly ever really ashamed of the actual act of stripping. I think I felt bad because of the situation I got into, and what kind of person I was. I didn't like myself during those years. I think I also felt bad because of what other people thought about what I was doing, more than what I thought. I wasn't strong enough to handle it. If the general consensus would've been no-big-deal, la-di-da, I wouldn't have felt a damn thing. In fact, I honestly think I could do extras and not feel a thing, in the right environment (although I rarely ever did them then).
I think there were times when i did enjoy dancing, and times when I hated it. I think alot of it had to do with the fact that I wasn't strong enough to be unaffected by outside input and a lot of times I read it incorrectly and just didn't have the knowledge to assess it the way it needed to be assessed, from customers, dancers, peers, society, my family, my bf, etc. There really isn't a whole lot of support there. And so I was on a roller coaster ride instead of being on a smooth-sailing ship. It takes a very strong woman to remain completely unaffected.
Idk, I think you can be ashamed of it but something about the act of doing it is still enjoyable, fun. Hating it, I would say I hated it a good amount of the time, but then again, I wasn't in the best of situations.
Phil-W
10-23-2009, 01:51 PM
Why does everyone assume that so many guys at the SC smell bad and have poor hygiene? Its a recurring theme, and I guess non-dancers use it because they want to feel sorry for us or something?
Cos the frequency of posts on here far about it far exceeds the frequency IRL. If you derived your opinions about what happens in strip clubs from here instead of from visiting them,you'd get a skewed version of reality.
It's not always obvious to guys on this site, particularly newbies, that dancers often come here to vent their frustrations. And of course you only vent about what's frustrating you - not the 99% of times a LD is purely routine.
Phil.
jack0177057
10-23-2009, 01:52 PM
^^^ As a custie, I want to do business with a "very strong woman" who, like yourself, finds her dancing career to be enjoyable and overall positive (albeit, she may hate some parts of it, like grabby or smelly custies)...
I do have a conscience and I do not want to be a part of any woman's self-loathing or internal shame ("internal" as opposed to "external" - created by other people's judgment).
mediocrity
10-23-2009, 01:55 PM
People are ashamed of masturbation? I guess I'm ignorant hehe.
I don't think I was honestly ever really ashamed of the actual act of stripping. I think I felt bad because of the situation I got into, and what kind of person I was. I didn't like myself during those years. I think I also felt bad because of what other people thought about what I was doing, more than what I thought. I wasn't strong enough to handle it. If the general consensus would've been no-big-deal, la-di-da, I wouldn't have felt a damn thing. In fact, I honestly think I could do extras and not feel a thing, in the right environment (although I rarely ever did them then).
I think there were times when i did enjoy dancing, and times when I hated it. I think alot of it had to do with the fact that I wasn't strong enough to be unaffected by outside input and a lot of times I read it incorrectly and just didn't have the knowledge to assess it the way it needed to be assessed, from customers, dancers, peers, society, my family, my bf, etc. There really isn't a whole lot of support there. And so I was on a roller coaster ride instead of being on a smooth-sailing ship. It takes a very strong woman to remain completely unaffected.
Idk, I think you can be ashamed of it but something about the act of doing it is still enjoyable, fun. Hating it, I would say I hated it a good amount of the time, but then again, I wasn't in the best of situations.
Not to be tangent-y, but I was. So much in fact I couldn't bring myself to do it til I was 18 or 19. My mother always told me it was for desperate single girls who couldn't get a man.:'(
Naida
10-23-2009, 02:09 PM
^^^ That's just fucked.
I've always seen sex and masturbation as a very natural thing (which it is), and will be how I speak of it to my children- stressing safety, of course, but still that it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
10-23-2009, 02:45 PM
^^^ As a custie, I want to do business with a "very strong woman" who, like yourself, finds her dancing career to be enjoyable and overall positive (albeit, she may hate some parts of it, like grabby or smelly custies)...
.
See, see?! There it is again!! Honestly, smelly customers aren't even a part of the job one hates. If you can smell a custy and it grosses you out, just walk away. Unlike grabby, which we often don't know until the dance begins, smelly doesn't even register on my radar as an aspect of the job I hate. Its really THAT rare.
I think that custies and non-strippers want to feel better thinking we are miserable loser sex workers. Does anyone else find it weird, even somewhat anti-social (as in sociopath) to enjoy patronizing an establishment where they think that the women are miserable victims?
It creeps me out, why can't people just accept that its a decent job, sometimes stressful and sucky, but its fucking work!
laurcon
10-23-2009, 05:15 PM
^ yes completely girl! one of the first things i hear many times when i tell some one my job is "you must get a lot of weirdos huh?". i'm like "not really, its mostly married guys in suits in their 30's-40's". i feel like guys say that because they want to think that they're better than my customers or something. or like "well i don't spend a lot of money, but at least i'm a good guy!". yes and there are plenty of good guys out there who will spend a lot of money, trust me i've met them.
jack0177057
10-23-2009, 07:41 PM
Does anyone else find it weird, even somewhat anti-social (as in sociopath) to enjoy patronizing an establishment where they think that the women are miserable victims?
It creeps me out, why can't people just accept that its a decent job, sometimes stressful and sucky, but its fucking work!
I think I've been saying just the opposite - I don't want a dance from a "miserable victim".
Elvia
10-23-2009, 07:42 PM
I think you should give her a break, Jack. Every stripper feels that way at times.
jack0177057
10-26-2009, 09:13 AM
I think you should give her a break, Jack. Every stripper feels that way at times.
Oh,... my bad... sorry...
Generally, people just need to find a reason to look down on other people, specially if we envy them for any reason... If that other person is better looking or makes more money, we look for reasons to cut them down a size or two... Like --- Oh yeah, he makes a lot of money, but he is miserable at his job, doesn't have a social life, and his wife is probably cheating on him while he is away on business... or... Yeah, she's better looking, but she's a total ditz, blond to the core...
There are a lot of reasons to envy dancers... They are young, beautiful, sexy and make 2X, 3X or 4X as much as the average person working by working only 3 nights a week. They set their own hours and can travel and visit many cities. Also, us guys know that you dancers only talk to us because we are paying you money; that you are way out of our league and you wouldn't talk to us in any other social setting. If we were bold enough to approach you in any non-SC social setting, you would blow us off, before we got a syllable out. (I personally don't feel this way, but, most smart guys at the SC realize this is the plain reality.)
So, to deal with this value discrepancy,... i.e., dancer=high value... custie=low value... The custie's fragile ego has to construct a story that makes the dancer a miserable and inferior creature -- e.g., yeah, she's young and hot and could date anyone she wanted to; and she'd blow me off if I approached her anywhere outside the club; and she makes 2X what I make by working only 3 nights a week; and I have to spend a lot of my hard-earned money just to be graced with her company... but, she's not better than me,... she has to sit on the lap of hideous looking guys and... blah... blah... blah...
xdamage
10-26-2009, 01:45 PM
Jack, I really do just think normal people have mixed feelings, and whether they say it or not, they still feel it, and most expose some of that on their faces anyway whether they say it or not, it's there to see.
That said I do understand wanting to have a good time and not be burdened with others problems, but I've always had very good experiences with dancers who are a bit more solemn, and I'm not really attracted to overly giggle/bubbly anyway because I'm not.
Maybe she was just being very honest. Some people (myself included at times) tend to wear our feelings on our sleeves in front of others and whatever we're feeling just comes out. She still might have been a VERY good dancer, emotionally and sexually intuitive. Of course you probably know instinctively if you are interested in spending on her. If you aren't great. If you are, sometimes it pays not to over think it :)
Elvia
10-26-2009, 05:29 PM
I know there have been times when I've maybe had a couple cocktails on a mopey day, let my dancer persona slide, and maybe had a little pity party. She'll probably be right as rain the next time you see her, although maybe a little flustered and embarrassed at first. It's all good to be a strong and empowered woman, but we all have our mopey moments at time.
laurcon
10-26-2009, 08:25 PM
Oh,... my bad... sorry...
Generally, people just need to find a reason to look down on other people, specially if we envy them for any reason... If that other person is better looking or makes more money, we look for reasons to cut them down a size or two... Like --- Oh yeah, he makes a lot of money, but he is miserable at his job, doesn't have a social life, and his wife is probably cheating on him while he is away on business... or... Yeah, she's better looking, but she's a total ditz, blond to the core...
There are a lot of reasons to envy dancers... They are young, beautiful, sexy and make 2X, 3X or 4X as much as the average person working by working only 3 nights a week. They set their own hours and can travel and visit many cities. Also, us guys know that you dancers only talk to us because we are paying you money; that you are way out of our league and you wouldn't talk to us in any other social setting. If we were bold enough to approach you in any non-SC social setting, you would blow us off, before we got a syllable out. (I personally don't feel this way, but, most smart guys at the SC realize this is the plain reality.)
So, to deal with this value discrepancy,... i.e., dancer=high value... custie=low value... The custie's fragile ego has to construct a story that makes the dancer a miserable and inferior creature -- e.g., yeah, she's young and hot and could date anyone she wanted to; and she'd blow me off if I approached her anywhere outside the club; and she makes 2X what I make by working only 3 nights a week; and I have to spend a lot of my hard-earned money just to be graced with her company... but, she's not better than me,... she has to sit on the lap of hideous looking guys and... blah... blah... blah...
wow! i think you totally got it, and not just custies but men and women outside of work too! :highfive: