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MiraMichele
06-04-2015, 09:13 AM
I'm bumping this thread cause this is great. I'm totally going into work tonight and using some of these. Lets get this thread going again! I don't know many jokes but I remember this one that I found on Facebook a few months ago that I laughed at for like an hour.

What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? Instagram. Hahaha :D

lunapeach
06-05-2015, 08:04 AM
What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint :DD

Selina M
06-05-2015, 11:01 AM
I like to tell these 2 awful ones:

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.

The VP runs into the Oval Office and tells President Bush "Sir, a hotel in South America was just bombed. 40 Brazilians died."
There's a long pause and Bush says "How many is a brazilian?"

whirlerz
06-05-2015, 05:25 PM
There was a manager, he had to chose between laying off 2 workers, Stacy & Jack. He decided whichever one stopped at the water cooler first would get the axe. Stacy walked in & headed for the water cooler first thing..
Manager approaches her & says, "I'm sorry, but I have to lay you or Jack off". She looks up & says, "Can you jack off?" "I have a really bad headache"

Crystalatthedisco
06-13-2015, 03:05 PM
I like to tell these 2 awful ones:

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.

The VP runs into the Oval Office and tells President Bush "Sir, a hotel in South America was just bombed. 40 Brazilians died."
There's a long pause and Bush says "How many is a brazilian?"

Omg the will smith one is gold! Lol

angelt
10-02-2015, 09:00 PM
"I bet you can't solve my riddle"
"Ok"
Then you take a penny, a quarter, a nickel, and a dime, and say
"Bobby's dad was a banker, he had 4 kids whose's name were Penny, Nickolas, and Damian. What was the 4th kids name"
When they gave up, you repeat the riddle again, and say Bobby a few times

Glamourmilf
10-03-2015, 12:19 AM
Walk up to a friend and say, "Someone said You look like an Owl."
They will naturally say. "Who?" :rotfl::rotfl:

DorienG
10-04-2015, 08:33 PM
Walk up to a friend and say, "Someone said You look like an Owl."
They will naturally say. "Who?" :rotfl::rotfl:

That's so bad, it's hilarious!

So, a man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch".

Glamourmilf
10-06-2015, 02:54 PM
"How do you get a nun pregnant?"

"Dress her up like an altar boy."

absolutelyadorable
10-06-2015, 03:46 PM
"How do you get a nun pregnant?"

"Dress her up like an altar boy."

oh shit I just choked lmfao.

Here's my corny joke: Did you hear about the 2 silk worms who were running a race? They ended up in a tie. (drumroll)

Glamourmilf
10-13-2015, 05:43 PM
An Irishman walks out of a bar..........m
No, really, it could happen.

AlwaysAutumn
10-19-2015, 07:08 AM
BAHAHAHA omg using that tonight

baby-cougar
10-19-2015, 08:39 PM
This one is my fav icebreaker.

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a wife, and a virgin?
A: A prostitute spits, a wife swallows, and a virgin goes (with mouth open) "wha-ooa-do-wi-dis?"

PiperP
10-27-2015, 11:22 AM
Q- What's the difference between two dicks and a joke?
A- I can't take a joke!

Glamourmilf
10-29-2015, 09:35 AM
Whats the difference between 'fucking', and 'making love'?

Making love is what a woman is doing, while a man is fucking her.

fromtoeshoestohighheels
10-29-2015, 06:24 PM
So a flasher is talking to his friends "You know what guys, it's over for me, I'm out of the game." They all sit in silence for a while then he nods his head. "Actually...I think I'll stick it out another year."

Badump-ch!