View Full Version : husband cant get past my past
CKXXX
11-12-2009, 02:25 PM
Have each of you and your husbands always been like this (no jealousy when it comes to sex) or did you have to overcome emotions and "social programming" and think through it philosophically to become like that?
The question is whether it is just a matter of rethinking relationships, or whether we (the rest of us who are insecure and jealous) have deeply-rooted instincts that could not be reconfigured no matter how hard we try. For every one couple that has succeeded in an open relationship, there are probably five that tried it, but ended up badly hurt.
yes..neither of us has ever been programmed for monogamy. Some people are, some arent. Some people try swinging and it doesnt work out. Some people try monogamy and it doesnt work out. Its all about whats right for each person
princessjas
11-12-2009, 02:36 PM
yes..neither of us has ever been programmed for monogamy. Some people are, some arent. Some people try swinging and it doesnt work out. Some people try monogamy and it doesnt work out. Its all about whats right for each person
I agree with this! I don't think I've ever (aside from one time when I was preggo and all hormonal) experienced jealousy over sex/lust. Jack's thing about wanting his SO to want him all to herself is just SOOO not me...I mean sure at certain times I want my guy all to myself, but in a broader sense, I just can't relate. I can be monogamous if it is expected...but prefer to have some freedom to play with girls, and if I can't at least look and comment, I feel completely suffocated.
jack0177057
11-12-2009, 04:45 PM
Jack's thing about wanting his SO to want him all to herself is just SOOO not me...
I could be in an open relationship in the beginning stages, like in a best friends-with-benefits or casual romatic relationship situation. But, when the relationship gets serious and becomes a LTR, I prefer exclusivity...
Philosophically, I like the idea of 0% jealousy and an open relationship, but I'm not sure I could change my wiring to practice that. It's kind of like communism - philosophically, I like the idea of social and economic equality, smashing the golden calf of capitalism and locking up all the greedy Wall Street sons of bitches... But in practice, I am wired to act like a greedy materialist.
When my GF asks me if I'm cheating on her with someone else, my reply is always the same - Are you kidding? I can barely put up with one GF!... Maybe my biggest obstacle would be having to deal with other people, i.e., other woman demanding my time, her lovers demanding her time, people coming by unannounced, or expecting me to visit them, etc. I'm a very private person and I dislike other people very quickly.
erotictonic
11-12-2009, 06:58 PM
I could be in an open relationship in the beginning stages, like in a best friends-with-benefits or casual romatic relationship situation. But, when the relationship gets serious and becomes a LTR, I prefer exclusivity...
Philosophically, I like the idea of 0% jealousy and an open relationship, but I'm not sure I could change my wiring to practice that. It's kind of like communism - philosophically, I like the idea of social and economic equality, smashing the golden calf of capitalism and locking up all the greedy Wall Street sons of bitches... But in practice, I am wired to act like a greedy materialist.
When my GF asks me if I'm cheating on her with someone else, my reply is always the same - Are you kidding? I can barely put up with one GF!... Maybe my biggest obstacle would be having to deal with other people, i.e., other woman demanding my time, her lovers demanding her time, people coming by unannounced, or expecting me to visit them, etc. I'm a very private person and I dislike other people very quickly.
Yea, same with me. I prefer exclusivity. I see no reason for other people to prefer it, though, if they don't. It looks good on paper, but when you try an open relationship, it's just too much trouble. I like my relationships to be easy, so I work with what I have. Relationships can be demanding, so I don't take on too many at a time, and I try to take on the ones that are worth it to me.
princessjas
11-12-2009, 07:20 PM
I could be in an open relationship in the beginning stages, like in a best friends-with-benefits or casual romatic relationship situation. But, when the relationship gets serious and becomes a LTR, I prefer exclusivity...
Philosophically, I like the idea of 0% jealousy and an open relationship, but I'm not sure I could change my wiring to practice that. It's kind of like communism - philosophically, I like the idea of social and economic equality, smashing the golden calf of capitalism and locking up all the greedy Wall Street sons of bitches... But in practice, I am wired to act like a greedy materialist.
When my GF asks me if I'm cheating on her with someone else, my reply is always the same - Are you kidding? I can barely put up with one GF!... Maybe my biggest obstacle would be having to deal with other people, i.e., other woman demanding my time, her lovers demanding her time, people coming by unannounced, or expecting me to visit them, etc. I'm a very private person and I dislike other people very quickly.
Uh, none of that is a problem if you aren't DATING other people. Like I said, that would be a no-no for me. Playing with another girl occasionally is what I'm talking about. Not playing with the same person often enough to develop a real or assumed relationship of any sort. ;) I'm all for threesomes and possible open-relationships, but not into polyamorous relationships in any way. I only have enough time/energy for one romantic interest, and I'm too greedy to share my guy in that way. Sex doesn't trigger my jealousy at all, but I do not like to share when it comes to emotions/dates/time, etc. There is little enough time when you consider work, family, friends, hobbies, downtime. I'm a greedy bitch who wants what little is left! :D
JayATee
11-12-2009, 07:28 PM
I danced 10 years ago before I knew my current husband. He has a hard time picturing "his sweet wife" stripping for other men. I realize it was wrong...and he hates it...but I need him to know its not me now. I didnt realize I was hurting marriages and selling my body for a quick dollar. So of course it hurts him picturing it. How can I help him understand and get over it?
I don't think you can help him to understand and get over it until you can understand it and get over it. What I mean by that is that you've done nothing wrong. It wasn't wrong to dance. You weren't "selling your body" for a quick dollar. It shouldn't hurt him. Quite frankly he shouldn't think anything about it one way or the other. It's your past. Has nothing to do with your present and future.
It sounds to me like you have a problem with it, and that's what needs to be addressed first before any changes can be made to his attitude.
ausland
11-13-2009, 04:17 AM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point. I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up
Jessie_tinydancer
11-13-2009, 04:30 AM
Ummm I'm 27 not 18, I am married and not even really sure I will have kids. I'm also not really sure how I can show someone my "uterus" other than through an ultrasound, since it's inside me. We don't have "quarters" in Australia and dances are $100. I'm not "imitating sex" at work...I'm dancing. In NSW it's against the law to even give lap dances...it's just stage shows. Furthermore you are not allowed to touch a clients crotch area with any part of your body in any state in Australia. And no I won't "see" because I am a happy, confident person who doesn't look to someone else to tell me what's right and wrong. I know this is a support forum, but I kinda find it hard to support someone who is not supportive themselves.
Christyismyalias
11-13-2009, 04:40 AM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point. I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up
Okay girl, if you feel this strongly why are you on this site? Why are you continuing to post questions asking us for advice? If we are SOOO on the wrong path and blah blah blah, why not go elsewhere for advice? Many of the women on this site are 33 (or older) with kids and successful lives and businesses. So instead of talking to us like we are all 18 year old partiers destined to regret our sad ways, why not go to some "saved stripper" support website, I'm sure they are out there...
We are happy to help and give our opinions, but you are becoming insulting.
princessjas
11-13-2009, 09:41 AM
Okay girl, if you feel this strongly why are you on this site? Why are you continuing to post questions asking us for advice? If we are SOOO on the wrong path and blah blah blah, why not go elsewhere for advice? Many of the women on this site are 33 (or older) with kids and successful lives and businesses. So instead of talking to us like we are all 18 year old partiers destined to regret our sad ways, why not go to some "saved stripper" support website, I'm sure they are out there...
We are happy to help and give our opinions, but you are becoming insulting.
*Raises hand, bounces up and down.* Me, me!! ;D
Sorry for my silliness girls, but it's either that or tell this crazy chicka off. First off, if you do something that you don't approve of deep down, then later you are going to regret it. Some people are not accepting of their own sexuality or make nudity into a "dirty" thing in any context (trust me, when I bf my sons these nut cases were always lurking around to tell me how I was "damaging" them ::)). Those people who perceive nudity as "bad" even in innocuous situations and those who are uncomfortable with sexuality are, of course, going to despise strippers, even the cleanest girls who live a non-party lifestyle are going to seem "damaged" to them.
This girl obviously partied her ass off and blew all her cash, which of course caused her to be a less than stellar mother. So now she is pissed at anyone who can balance it and not feel shame over showing their body, or whatever facet she is now blaming her failures on. I guess it's easier to blame in on the industry and claim no one could possibly responsibly balance dancing and family than to admit it was the fact that she made the choice to get hammered every night instead of staying sober and taking care of her child.
I just don't see how people manage to take the "holier than tho" stance with a straight face....when the worst of the worst imo, the real dregs of society are those that are too judgemental of others to even see an issue from another angle or through anothers POV.
BTW Ausland - Check out my first post. There are tons of success stories right here on this board. We don't drink or party and treat it as a job, not a lifestyle. :O Oh, and I'm 34...not 18, with 2 awesome kids and a successful business. :P
jack0177057
11-13-2009, 09:43 AM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point. I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up
Ausland, if you're going through a religious conversion, like becoming a born-again Christian, I respect that, but you need to be careful about not being misled. (I only say this, because I've met born-again Christian and you sound just like them.) The way I read the New Testament, Christ was not too alarmed with strippers, prostitutes and promiscuous women. (I'm not saying He approved of their lifestyle, but they did not cause Him much dismay and their hearts were open to him.) Mary Magdalene was a prostitute and became one of His most important disciples. The Sumarian woman He met at the well was either a prostitute or a promiscuous woman, and she became an important disciple who converted her entire town to disciples. Christ was in the company of prostitutes and conversed with them, without talking down to them.
The group that Christ did dislike very much were the self-righteous hypocrits - the Pharisees - who condemned and passed moral judgments on everyone else.
I would wager that there is more love and kindness in the average dancer, than there is in the average self-righteous judgmental Christian that spreads words of hate, condemnation and persecution.
You and your husband are going through some guilt and shame issues that are "wrong". If you regret anything you did in your past, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move forward - with or without him.
CKXXX
11-13-2009, 12:47 PM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point. I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up
I'm 36 and have been married for almost 10 years. So yeah....take your judgmental attitude and shove it up your tight,probably flabby ass. Sucks that you didnt have any moral compass or self control when you danced...but most of us here are smarter then that. i didnt even START dancing til I was 27. Never did drugs, only rarely drink and never to excess anymore. And yeah..GUY..learn anatomy. I can no more show my uterus then my pancreas. A WOMAN would know that. hell a guy with an IQ higher then a banana would know that.
Why is this troll not banned yet??
edit: yes I realize I called it a man and a woman here...playing both sides just in case! LOL
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 01:16 PM
I danced 10 years ago before I knew my current husband. He has a hard time picturing "his sweet wife" stripping for other men. I realize it was wrong...and he hates it...but I need him to know its not me now. I didnt realize I was hurting marriages and selling my body for a quick dollar. So of course it hurts him picturing it. How can I help him understand and get over it?
I think what pisses strippers off about this is that you are saying "wrong", and they are interpreting that as "wrong for everyone". "Wrong for you" is ok.
I've done things that were wrong for me, but I try to keep an open mind in the way that wrong for me does not equal wrong for everyone. I don't have to agree with what they are doing, and I can express my own views and things I personally have issue with. Strippers are all different.
But I think they feel as if you are coming from a place where you are pointing the finger at them and screaming, "Wrong!", deciding for them what they should think. That doesn't get very good results with most people. It makes them defensive.
JayATee
11-13-2009, 01:23 PM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point. I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up
Excuse me Im almost 30. I've been married for almost 10 years. If you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror then that's your problem, but Im quite sure it's physically impossible to show your uterus at all ever, even for 4 quarters (which btw if that's all you were getting I understand why you have such a neg opinion of dancing and yourself).
Come here for help and then get pissy?? Yah... good luck with that. ::)
Laurisa
11-13-2009, 01:50 PM
She sounds like what you guys refer to as a "captain-save-a-hoe", only female. :laughing:
I read an article in my aunt's Christian magazine about an ex-stripper that found God and quit her "evil" ways. I cracked up because it was just so full of prejudice and judgmental, stereotypical, one-sided opinions that I wondered how anyone could take it seriously. Keep dancing ladies, I respect you for it and will follow in your footsteps soon enough.
mediocrity
11-13-2009, 02:31 PM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point. I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up
You can see my uterus? Whoa. How come I've never seen it? It must be terribly sneaky.
JayATee
11-13-2009, 02:51 PM
You can see my uterus? Whoa. How come I've never seen it? It must be terribly sneaky.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
I swear Im moving to texas.
Laurisa
11-13-2009, 03:26 PM
You can see my uterus? Whoa. How come I've never seen it? It must be terribly sneaky.
You just weren't looking hard enough, god. It is clearly visible to anyone that looks. Why are strippers so ignorant? ::)
ArmySGT.
11-13-2009, 03:36 PM
Funny thing is when y'all are 33 married with kids you'll see my point.That point has been made, course the self congratulating falwell brigade has never let a thing like being disproven stop them from declaring victory.
I promise. Stripping at 18 is waaaaaaaay different when u look back 10 years later. The same could be said for any job. The only thing you may wish to really say to your younger self is open a saving account and take lots of pictures. Ok So it's me that wants the pictures but, you should have saved the money.
There's right and wrong ladies and showing your uterus for 4 quarters is wrong. Now that is a circus side show worthy talent! market that. something like Uterus gone wild!
Imitating sex is wrong. Lap dance grinding is wrong. Y'all will see. Good luck and don't let the club swallow u up Your doing it now with your husband. I mean anyone this uptight can't be having orgasms on their own and two pump chump with the other ring can't appreciate what he has got.
Paris
11-13-2009, 04:09 PM
I just put that in there, because, in my experience, women (after 30) feel most threatened by younger women. It's just a product of our society that puts so much value on youth and beauty. Also, when men leave their wives, its usually for a younger woman.
Bwahahahahahahahaha! Threatened by a younger woman? I don't think so. Us old broads are better at playing head games. You may want to look into more recent divorce/ remarriages. Did the man leave the 1st wife for a younger spouse or did she kick him to the curb?
Maybe it's the region I live in, or my circle of friends, but it seems like when an ex-husband takes a younger wife/ girlfriend it is because his ex left him. He may take a younger lover, but his wife may have a (ahem!) personal trainer on call, too.;)
Rarely do cheating husbands leave their wives for their young mistress.
Paris
11-13-2009, 04:15 PM
I could be in an open relationship in the beginning stages, like in a best friends-with-benefits or casual romatic relationship situation. But, when the relationship gets serious and becomes a LTR, I prefer exclusivity...
Maybe you hadn't noticed, but you are on a forum populated by people that live counter-culture lifestyles. I mean, a person has to be just a little socially deviant to work as a stripper, considering the stigma and all.:rotfl:
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 04:40 PM
I just put that in there, because, in my experience, women (after 30) feel most threatened by younger women. It's just a product of our society that puts so much value on youth and beauty. Also, when men leave their wives, its usually for a younger woman.
I think it just depends on the woman. 1) You have to be putting a high priority on youth and beauty. In other words, you have to be buying the fact that youth and beauty is that meaningful. You have to actually care what "society" thinks. 2) You have to believe that you are not better today than you were at say, 20. I was a ditz at 20 lol. No, I wouldn't want to go back, so I am not jealous of younger women. I have a lot more confidence today. In other words, are the feelings there? Yes, more or less, but you can train yourself to feel less, you can rule your feelings with thought, and you can choose how to act on them. When I was younger, my jealousy was out-of-control. Today, I feel alot less and I definitely think about it and act on it differently.
I think some of the girls are gorgeous, especially underage women like Miley Cyrus (although, no, I would never look at underage porn). But I do like to look at younger girls, (18 and such), because I think they are so gorgeous. Do I think they are sexy? No, I think they are young girls. But I think the natural beauty of a girl who has just bloomed is something else.
I generally try to date men that don't put #1 priority on youth, looks, and having a big ole time. So I'm not worried about my partners leaving me for a younger woman lol. I tend to date men who are a bit more level-headed and practical than that.
Elvia
11-13-2009, 04:47 PM
Any man in his 30's who would prefer an 18 year old girl over someone who is his emotional and intellectual equal is not someone I would want as a partner anyway. Anyone who values youth above all else isn't worth a damn.
Laurisa
11-13-2009, 04:56 PM
Any man in his 30's who would prefer an 18 year old girl over someone who is his emotional and intellectual equal is not someone I would want as a partner anyway. Anyone who values youth above all else isn't worth a damn.
Hey now, I dated someone that was almost 30 and we had no problems!
I don't think that age means everything, and I've certainly met people at 25 or 26 that were far less mature than people in my age bracket. I've seen vice versa as well, though.
Stereotyping isn't nice. :'(
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 04:58 PM
Hey now, I dated someone that was almost 30 and we had no problems!
I don't think that age means everything, and I've certainly met people at 25 or 26 that were far less mature than people in my age bracket. I've seen vice versa as well, though.
Stereotyping isn't nice. :'(
How old are you? Just curious.
I could see even as much as +10 years, although even then, commonalities tend to be alot less due to gen differences. More than that, and I assume something is going on with the older person who is doing it, character-wise, or they've got some serious problems psychologically or mentally.
Have you heard about cougars? These older women who like younger men..... The US seems to accept that alot more than they accept the opposite. People tend to see women as getting preyed upon, not knowing enough to make that decision when they are younger, but a guy is seen as being in control of themselves and able to decide to date a 60 year old lmao. I don't think any 60 year old, or even 40 year old, needs to be dating an 18 year old (yes, I am judging). That's a youngun, young enough to be their child. Would you want to date your daughter? /gags
jack0177057
11-13-2009, 04:58 PM
Just for the record - all I meant to say is that, in my experience, 30+ women get a little insecure when their rival for a man's attention is a younger woman...
The equivalent for a man would be a rival that has more money.
To set the record straight - in no way am I saying that a younger woman is more attractive or sexy. (And to the young women on this forum - I am not saying that older women are more attractive or sexy.)
Geeze... it's hard not to get in trouble on this forum...
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
11-13-2009, 05:04 PM
Oversimplification jack.
Elvia
11-13-2009, 05:07 PM
Hey now, I dated someone that was almost 30 and we had no problems!
I don't think that age means everything, and I've certainly met people at 25 or 26 that were far less mature than people in my age bracket. I've seen vice versa as well, though.
Stereotyping isn't nice. :'(
Sorry, but I definitely think there's something wrong with a man who habitually dates much younger women. And yes, I dated some much older men when I was in me teens as well (though I cringe to think of it). Looking at them now...I can see why they exclusively needed to date significantly younger women. Any woman close to their age would see that they're not where they should be at their age, maturity wise.
Since you're only 18 now, are you saying you dated a man who was almost 30 when you were in high school?
jack0177057
11-13-2009, 05:08 PM
Maybe you hadn't noticed, but you are on a forum populated by people that live counter-culture lifestyles. I mean, a person has to be just a little socially deviant to work as a stripper, considering the stigma and all.:rotfl:
That’s a stereotype. Some dancers/sex-workers on this forum (in their personal life outside the SC) are milder and more "vanilla" than the average American woman. Here's just one example - Thread: But you get naked for other men...
http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=132769
Laurisa
11-13-2009, 05:08 PM
How old are you? Just curious.
I could see even as much as +10 years, although even then, commonalities tend to be alot less due to gen differences. More than that, and I assume something is going on with the older person who is doing it, character-wise.
Have you heard about cougars? These older women who like younger men..... The US seems to accept that alot more than they accept the opposite. People tend to see women as getting preyed upon, not knowing enough to make that decision when they are younger, but a guy is seen as being in control of themselves and able to decide to date a 60 year old lmao. I don't think any 60 year old, or even 40 year old, needs to be dating an 18 year old (yes, I am judging). That's a youngun, young enough to be their child. Would you want to date your daughter? /gags
I'm 18. He was 27 when we started fooling around, he's 28 now. We're right at that "10 year" cut off you've made. :P I've never liked dating people my age, in fact, my boyfriend now is the youngest man I've been with in 4 years! He's almost 20.
When I was 14 I dated an 18-year-old, we actually kept it up for 22-months! Woot. He was 20 when we broke up.
I love older men. More experience, (sometimes) bigger dicks... at least when I was back in freshman year, and lots of naughty ideas. I like being 'taught' things. tehe. }:D
Laurisa
11-13-2009, 05:09 PM
Sorry, but I definitely think there's something wrong with a man who habitually dates much younger women. And yes, I dated some much older men when I was in me teens as well (though I cringe to think of it). Looking at them now...I can see why they exclusively needed to date significantly younger women. Any woman close to their age would see that they're not where they should be at their age, maturity wise.
Since you're only 18 now, are you saying you dated a man who was almost 30 when you were in high school?
We dated at the ass end of last year, this time last year actually. I had been out of H.S. for 5 or 6 months at that point, graduated early.
I was 17 at the time. Legal in Michigan.
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 05:11 PM
Oversimplification jack.
Yes. I learned a long time ago to cover all the bases lmao. And I still fuck up sometimes.
Laurisa
11-13-2009, 05:16 PM
But, for the record, some of you are older than me and might just know what you're talking about. I don't think I know everything.
jack0177057
11-13-2009, 05:19 PM
Yes. I learned a long time ago to cover all the bases lmao. And I still fuck up sometimes.
http://ageless-northshore.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/p_rodney_dangerfield_1-292x300.jpg
princessjas
11-13-2009, 05:23 PM
Just for the record - all I meant to say is that, in my experience, 30+ women get a little insecure when their rival for a man's attention is a younger woman...
The equivalent for a man would be a rival that has more money.
To set the record straight - in no way am I saying that a younger woman is more attractive or sexy. (And to the young women on this forum - I am not saying that older women are more attractive or sexy.)
Uh, I'd 1000X's rather compete with a younger girl than a woman my age. Damn, have you HEARD most 18 year olds? And really, in this day and age, us older girls look just as good as they do, especially in normal lighting (not saying if you put us under a microscope you can't see some fine lines, but they aren't jumping out at ya.) It's nothing like competing with a man with more money, it's like competing with a man with no game and very poor conversation skills.
When I was a newbie stripper I never could figure out why the 30+ women were always without fail the top earners and made significantly more than the teenagers....now it's obvious. ;) They may be dewy fresh, but we are freakin cute and have skillz. :P
Maybe working in a club and seeing that older women are most certainly at no disadvantage has given me a different perspective from that of a non-dancer. :shrug:
ETA - Before any of the young girls jump all over me....search for threads on older dancers. I'm really not lying about them generally being top earners. Not saying a lot of guys don't love the fresh new girl thing, they do. I'm just all for confidence, no matter your age, find your positives and accentuate them.
jack0177057
11-13-2009, 05:40 PM
Uh, I'd 1000X's rather compete with a younger girl than a woman my age.
You're in a league all of your own princessjas... I'd definitely pick you out of a crowd, regardless of age (younger, same or older),... but I bet you were really cute when you were 18, too...
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 05:53 PM
You ain't gettin' out of this, jack. Go in your home. }:D
mediocrity
11-13-2009, 06:04 PM
I'm 18. He was 27 when we started fooling around, he's 28 now. We're right at that "10 year" cut off you've made. :P I've never liked dating people my age, in fact, my boyfriend now is the youngest man I've been with in 4 years! He's almost 20.
When I was 14 I dated an 18-year-old, we actually kept it up for 22-months! Woot. He was 20 when we broke up.
I love older men. More experience, (sometimes) bigger dicks... at least when I was back in freshman year, and lots of naughty ideas. I like being 'taught' things. tehe. }:D
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl? And why isn't he dating someone his own age.
Creepy man.
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 06:07 PM
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl?
Sex....
Elvia
11-13-2009, 06:10 PM
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl? And why isn't he dating someone his own age.
Creepy man.
I'm glad someone else said it.
jack0177057
11-13-2009, 06:52 PM
You ain't gettin' out of this, jack. Go in your home. }:D
A good place to hide for a while.
erotictonic
11-13-2009, 07:02 PM
A good place to hide for a while.
:rotfl:
Jessie_tinydancer
11-13-2009, 07:26 PM
But, for the record, some of you are older than me and might just know what you're talking about. I don't think I know everything.
Just because someone is older doesn't mean they know any more than you. I've met some really educated (ie. PhD) people who wear dumb and some really life-experienced people who were also dumb. Everyone makes poor decisions from time to time.
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl? And why isn't he dating someone his own age.
Creepy man.
Yes. 14 to 18 is a big gap due to the maturity level difference. Not the number of years difference. I wouldn't like it either. I also wouldn't like it if my 18 year old son was dating a 14 year old girl. Maybe that's why I don't want to have kids. I'm scared no matter how I raise them they are going to do whatever they want anyways.
I don't always think there is something wrong with guys who date younger girls. I can't imagine my brother for example ever dating someone his own age or older because he is and probably always will be, really immature for his age. He's 20 and I would put him at the maturity of a 16 year old.:O I wouldn't say there is something "wrong" with him other than my mom still treats him like a baby and therefore he acts like one. His GF is 18, so not too bad... this time.
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
11-13-2009, 08:21 PM
My younger brother is 25 and has always dated girls a bit older. He prefers it that way, and said he feels weird around much younger girls, especially when his buddies bring their really young girlfriends around. He's a good boy in that respect.
Earl_the_Pearl
11-13-2009, 10:02 PM
http://ageless-northshore.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/p_rodney_dangerfield_1-292x300.jpg
I don't get no respect. My wife cut me down to once a week; that's OK she cut the guarder down to once a month.
princessjas
11-14-2009, 11:11 AM
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl? And why isn't he dating someone his own age.
Creepy man.
Same here...and what does a 27 year old want with an 18 year old, or even worse a 17 year old? Seriously. It's creepy as hell.
I like older men myself, much older men and always have. Although when I was 18 I knew that any man 10 years my senior that wanted to date me was fucked-up, so I didn't pursue older men till recently, where I feel the maturity difference isn't a biggie....although I still recognize it is there and often ask for advice/opinions about life issues. After all, more life experience equals more knowledge. Oh, and maybe it's just me, but if I get the vibe from a guy that he likes me because I'm younger, or if he routinely dates much younger women, then, I'm not interested.
JayATee
11-14-2009, 12:02 PM
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl? And why isn't he dating someone his own age.
Creepy man.
I agree 100% but I do have to say, just to play devils advocate for a sec... up until very recently, it was acceptable to marry off your 14 yr old daughter and for her to start having babies instantly bc of a persons life expectancy being so low. It's only the last 100 yrs (not even) that this became "creepy". Sometimes it's hard to shut off the "animal" side of the brain.
I AM NOT SAYING THAT IT IS ACCEPTABLE OR THAT I AM OK WITH THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR. I CONSIDER IT PEDOPHELIA. Im simply stating the other (factual) side of the coin.
Laurisa
11-14-2009, 04:22 PM
Man if my daughter' boyfriend was 18 and she was 14 I'd flip my shit. What does an 18 yr old man want with a 14 yr old girl? And why isn't he dating someone his own age.
Creepy man.
I didn't say in retrospect it should have been avoided, I just stated what I had experienced.
Laurisa
11-14-2009, 04:25 PM
Same here...and what does a 27 year old want with an 18 year old, or even worse a 17 year old? Seriously. It's creepy as hell.
You know, I think that age can be just a number. In my state 16+ is legal so I don't consider it 'creepy', the state doesn't either.
I don't think I'm fucked up from anything I've done, and I'm old enough to make my own choices now so if I am 'damaging' myself then I'll learn the hard way. Many people argue that stripping is detrimental to the psyche though so don't be so quick to judge.
JayATee
11-14-2009, 04:26 PM
Just for the record - all I meant to say is that, in my experience, 30+ women get a little insecure when their rival for a man's attention is a younger woman...
Never ever once been threatened by a younger woman. Im confident, and Ive been around longer. I know the game better. They dont stand a chance. ;)