View Full Version : I am so humiliated.
Elvia
12-15-2009, 03:17 PM
It is mild compared to other drugs, but I found it pretty terrible. And it lasted over a month for me. I had bad nausea, chronic headaches, stomach pains, and crippling fatigue. I would not say it's "not worth mentioning." I would have liked to have know.
amaliasnightout
12-28-2009, 09:47 PM
Ha this is cute because I consider alcohol and cigarettes to be way more hard core than marijuana. Not that I abstain from any of them, but alcohol has way more potential to destroy lives.
Lola_sinn
12-29-2009, 12:01 PM
Ha this is cute because I consider alcohol and cigarettes to be way more hard core than marijuana. Not that I abstain from any of them, but alcohol has way more potential to destroy lives.
This is so true! I can't stand it that drinking is so entrenched in our society and so strongly encouraged, and cigarettes are tolerated if not encouraged, and yet they tell children that weed is as damaging as meth and so many other lies.
LunaCera Fenella
12-30-2009, 03:00 AM
To the OP, I understand where you're coming from. I have never had a drink, a cigarette, or any illegal drugs. I only take childrens cold medicine when I'm sick because I'm kinda sensitive to meds. (I'm guessing because I haven't built a tolerance)
I understand that it wasn't that you tried POT, per se, but the fact that you did ANYTHING that you had made a decision to stay away from is what's bothering you, correct?
It's just something you prided yourself on and now can no longer claim to have never done it.
Fact is, what's done is done. Don't stress about it because honestly, it won't do you any good. Sometimes I feel tempted to try things, very, very tempted, but I just look at the people around me and ask if drugs/alcohol/tobacco has ever done them any good. But who knows. I may just slip up one day.
Just don't stress and like it's been said, learn from your mistakes. You're not a pothead, a drug addict, or a bad person just because you made a decision while intoxicated that you wouldn't have made while sober.
Hope you get to feeling better about all this.
And to everyone else... people are always going to have opposing views on drugs. It's a hot button issue just like abortion, gay rights, religion, etc. As long as we put emotion into our decision making process, there will always be someone who sees it differently and simply cannot understand where you're coming from. So for all you pot smokers, light up and have fun. And for those of you who are against it, don't sit in a room full of people who are smoking pot and then bitch about it.
...although i do have to say that pot smokers are the most ridiculously generous people i know... they always wanna share. lol.
Jessie_tinydancer
12-30-2009, 03:10 AM
^LOL drug takers in general wanna share. No one wants to take drugs alone. It's boring hehehe. I have been given so much stuff it's ridiculous.
threlayer
12-30-2009, 09:30 PM
OP: you have no strong urges to try it again and by now it's out of your system. Probably the worst thing about it is if for some reason you had to take a drug test. You can probably just forget about it; call it an experiment that failed. But watch that getting drunk which can also get you in a lot of trouble even easier.
mediocrity
01-01-2010, 05:34 PM
To the OP, I understand where you're coming from. I have never had a drink, a cigarette, or any illegal drugs. I only take childrens cold medicine when I'm sick because I'm kinda sensitive to meds. (I'm guessing because I haven't built a tolerance)
I understand that it wasn't that you tried POT, per se, but the fact that you did ANYTHING that you had made a decision to stay away from is what's bothering you, correct?
It's just something you prided yourself on and now can no longer claim to have never done it.
Fact is, what's done is done. Don't stress about it because honestly, it won't do you any good. Sometimes I feel tempted to try things, very, very tempted, but I just look at the people around me and ask if drugs/alcohol/tobacco has ever done them any good. But who knows. I may just slip up one day.
Just don't stress and like it's been said, learn from your mistakes. You're not a pothead, a drug addict, or a bad person just because you made a decision while intoxicated that you wouldn't have made while sober.
Hope you get to feeling better about all this.
And to everyone else... people are always going to have opposing views on drugs. It's a hot button issue just like abortion, gay rights, religion, etc. As long as we put emotion into our decision making process, there will always be someone who sees it differently and simply cannot understand where you're coming from. So for all you pot smokers, light up and have fun. And for those of you who are against it, don't sit in a room full of people who are smoking pot and then bitch about it.
...although i do have to say that pot smokers are the most ridiculously generous people i know... they always wanna share. lol.
This is what bothers me the MOST.Turns out the person who gave it to me is NOT who I thought it was. Also what bothers me is EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE knew if I was of sound mind, I would have said no. So what, is it a joke? Try and get the drug free girl to smoke so you can laugh at her? WHY would you offer to me and encourage it if you KNOW I would never do that under any circumstance? Especially since hospitals DRUG TEST YOU? Nice going people.
It makes me feel like an experiment and a joke.
mediocrity
01-01-2010, 05:36 PM
OP: you have no strong urges to try it again and by now it's out of your system. Probably the worst thing about it is if for some reason you had to take a drug test. You can probably just forget about it; call it an experiment that failed. But watch that getting drunk which can also get you in a lot of trouble even easier.
I have a lot of experience with alcohol, and barring once or twice a year, am mindful of my limit, thank you.
cyberstripper
01-01-2010, 07:58 PM
Medio-
You have been a very big help to me here and I have alot of respect for you so do not take this the wrong way, but there are no "limits" with alcohol.
Just one drink one night and you can end up in an accident or worse.
I have read your blog often and it seems there are posts where you are talking about drinking more often then not, even if it is within your "limit" Being an alcoholic myself, I believe that you have a bit of an alcohol problem. Wether you have 3 drinks a night or 30, you can still be an alcoholic, it is about your dependency on the alcohol itself.
It is the alcohol, not the pot, that lead you to make what you consider a bad decision.
Don't be angry at yourself, or smoking pot, look at what lead you to make these decisions: THE ALCOHOL and seriously consider quitting drinking.
Who knows what can happen the next time you go over your own personal limit......??? This could have been much worse, use this experience as a learning experience, learn from your mistakes.
I know you are a strong person and I hope you do not hate me for this post but I know you have the WILL to stop drinking for good. You are better then the alcohol and getting yourself into these situations that make you unhappy.
I am not going to get into the what is worse: pot or alcohol debate, because any drug has its consequences. However in my personal opinion alcohol is much much worse!! It may be legal but it is still a drug, and it is still very dangerous.
Pls dont hate me haha! I am an alcoholic and my life has only gotten better since I have stopped drinking. I sometimes went for weeks or months on end without alcohol, but I never made the commitment to myself to get sober. I have now been completely sober since August, and to be honest I havent been tempted once, even with my fave beer in front of my face. I can now enjoy the times that were once a blur, and I wouldnt have it any other way.
jannisary
01-01-2010, 11:05 PM
This is what bothers me the MOST.Turns out the person who gave it to me is NOT who I thought it was. Also what bothers me is EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE knew if I was of sound mind, I would have said no. So what, is it a joke? Try and get the drug free girl to smoke so you can laugh at her? WHY would you offer to me and encourage it if you KNOW I would never do that under any circumstance? Especially since hospitals DRUG TEST YOU? Nice going people.
It makes me feel like an experiment and a joke.
I think the whole pot vs alcohol argument is really irrelevant to Mediocrity's situation. She was drinking and having fun with her friends - people she TRUSTED.
This reads to me like you are feeling violated and betrayed by your supposed friends. In this case the violation and betrayal centers around getting you to smoke pot but it could have just as easily been something else.
Usually we are safe and feel a sense safety and security with our friends, in this situation that has been violated.
mediocrity
01-01-2010, 11:20 PM
I think the whole pot vs alcohol argument is really irrelevant to Mediocrity's situation. She was drinking and having fun with her friends - people she TRUSTED.
This reads to me like you are feeling violated and betrayed by your supposed friends. In this case the violation and betrayal centers around getting you to smoke pot but it could have just as easily been something else.
Usually we are safe and feel a sense safety and security with our friends, in this situation that has been violated.
You hit it spot on. Thank you.
And cyberstripper, no, I'm not mad at you.This is half the reason I am retiring. Dancing has made me so angry and has been so bad for my psyche the last three years, I can not do it without drinking.
I also only write in my blog when someonething either amusing or of importance happens. :) I appreciate your concern, and I think you're an awesome girl. I won't ever quit drinking myself, but when I'm done here in a few days, it will definitely decrease in frequency. (I actually don't even keep booze in my house.)
Love to both of you, and thank you for getting it.
cyberstripper
01-02-2010, 03:06 PM
Medio-
I know exactly how you feel. When I was dancing I was very emotionally unstable as is (I just got out of an abusive relationship and doing porn), I would drink to excess every night. One night I was at SR and I woke up on the dressing room floor with no recollection of what happened, everything stolen but my id and sheriffs card. I am positive someone put GHB in my drink. Since then, I got out of dancing and into camming. I reduced my drinking alot but I didnt quit drinking until August 09. A part of me misses the dancing, and as you know I have really considered getting back into it, but I dont think I can deal with the pressures, the abundance of alcohol, etc. I still havent auditioned yet, maybe in the future when I am ready.
I am glad to hear you are moving forward with your life. I hope you will still be active on the boards when you retire. Wishing you all the best in 2010 babe!
This is what bothers me the MOST.Turns out the person who gave it to me is NOT who I thought it was. Also what bothers me is EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE knew if I was of sound mind, I would have said no. So what, is it a joke? Try and get the drug free girl to smoke so you can laugh at her? WHY would you offer to me and encourage it if you KNOW I would never do that under any circumstance? Especially since hospitals DRUG TEST YOU? Nice going people.
It makes me feel like an experiment and a joke.
I would imagine they simply thought it was a not big deal, whether you would have done it or not while sober. If i had been one of your friends i would have stopped you from drinking so much LONG before i ever worried about a little pot. Most people think drinking until you black out is a bad thing while smoking a little pot is completely harmless.
mediocrity
01-02-2010, 09:00 PM
I would imagine they simply thought it was a not big deal, whether you would have done it or not while sober. If i had been one of your friends i would have stopped you from drinking so much LONG before i ever worried about a little pot. Most people think drinking until you black out is a bad thing while smoking a little pot is completely harmless.
It happens so seldomly I am sure they thought nothing of it. Plus, all of my friends say it is really difficult to tell when I am drunk, as I don't wobble, slur or talk nonsense. I also have a high tolerance.
Different strokes for different folks, but I think you're missing the point. The point is I felt betrayed. They all know my position on such things, and they deliberately violated my position. The other fact of the matter is, to get hired at the hospital, I have to be drug tested.
If they knew you had to pass a drug test then yeah thats really quite fucked up.
Lexi_Girl
01-04-2010, 07:02 AM
Have you spoken with them about it since? It might help you clear up a few reasons why they did it. It's wrong what they did, but they likely thought they were doing something good for you and/or to help you. We justify a lot of our own personal bad behaviour towards others, afterall. Talking about it, at least, might help you get some of your hurt and anger out, anyways.
mediocrity
01-04-2010, 06:27 PM
^^No offense but how the fuck could they possibly think they were doing something nice or good? "Here, we know you're trying to be a fucking doctor and you have to pass a drug test before you get a job, but haha let's get the drug free girl high for a laugh!"
Fucking assholes. I have no desire to ever associate with them ever again. I don't want to be a part of that culture and jeapordise my future that I paid for out the ass with my own money.
Lexi_Girl
01-04-2010, 06:56 PM
No offense taken. I'm just saying, they likely weren't thinking of messing up you or your future. They likely thought they were doing you a 'favour' or something. They probably didn't have a GOOD reason or anything, but I'm just not sure that I can believe they were doing it to be malicious.
Though I'm pretty isolated in my friends and there's a lot of assholes in the world, so it's possible, of course. Just mentioning that people have amazing abilities of denial and self deception about how their actions might harm another person.
babybambi08
01-22-2010, 02:56 PM
umm I could give you 9o8u59084358947359348598340589 stories of stupid shit I do drunk..
I almost always cry!
ONCE I pulled into a gasstation and woke up there! AND I pissed my pants!! and I was LOST so I had to go into the store to get directions!
a few times my boyfriends junk wasnt working right and I got pissed at him and slept on the couch
I think the worst is texting or calling exs ehh god.. Just delete the number after you break up thats my best advice!