View Full Version : when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
For some reason this is the number one extras thing guys want from me in dances, above hj/bjs. Apparently I have a very tempting vagina.
I seriously doubt they want it more, they probably just think they have a better chance at it.
whghost
12-12-2009, 02:41 AM
Why don't you give up?
I constantly have customers trying to touch/finger me and for a song or two I will just squirm around like an octupus to get them to stop, but they just keep trying. Even when I grab their hands they will FIGHT with me... can I not make it anymore obvious that I don't want your dirty hands on me?
I really just don't understand the motivation for fighting with a dancer to be able to finger her... doens't this equate to sexual assault?
He must be drunk!! He must be non-english speaking person and stupid! If you are working at clubs that allow friction, it might be that he was watching you dance with a regular. He may saw you dance closely and he may think that your regular got too close. He may think that you are ok with that and found out differently. Who knows! Just guessing.
mediocrity
12-12-2009, 03:47 AM
So call me clueless but- what IS the appeal of sticking your finger in a girl's bajingo if she says no? I mean really.
So call me clueless but- what IS the appeal of sticking your finger in a girl's bajingo if she says no? I mean really.
They probably think the only reason you are saying no is because if you let them finger you then you'd be overcome by desire and fuck them right there.
chris91
12-13-2009, 12:47 AM
He must be drunk!! He must be non-english speaking person and stupid! If you are working at clubs that allow friction, it might be that he was watching you dance with a regular. He may saw you dance closely and he may think that your regular got too close. He may think that you are ok with that and found out differently. Who knows! Just guessing.
Cyril? Is that you?
MSNYC
12-13-2009, 01:07 PM
Oh my god, I hate when this happens! Do NOT touch my vag!!!
The other day this guy was a really tough sell for the champagne room - he claimed he just "wanted to talk" so a CR wasn't necessary. I told him I couldn't just sit and talk with him on the floor, so we finally went back there, and all he wanted to do was finger me!!! False pretenses!
Hopper
12-14-2009, 12:59 AM
Some dancers are saying they don't explain the rules to customers because it discourages sales and also that they won't walk away from this situation for the same reason.
I don't think it needs to be explained that there is a rule against fingering in any hole any more than it needs to be explained that punching inthe teeth is against the rules. But it's an erotic industry and obviously there are confused customers coming in or at least pretending to be. So somehow the club or the dancers has to cover that somehow, if not other rules about touching.
If the customer tries fingering then you just have to walk away from it. Staying because of the money is effectively prostituting yourselves. You are not encourageing it, but by not walking away you are tolerating it. Pushing hands away or telling them to stop isn't enough if they keep trying regardless. That's like the policeman asking the bank robber to stop robbing banks.
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 04:16 AM
Some dancers are saying they don't explain the rules to customers because it discourages sales and also that they won't walk away from this situation for the same reason.
I don't think it needs to be explained that there is a rule against fingering in any hole any more than it needs to be explained that punching inthe teeth is against the rules. But it's an erotic industry and obviously there are confused customers coming in or at least pretending to be. So somehow the club or the dancers has to cover that somehow, if not other rules about touching.
If the customer tries fingering then you just have to walk away from it. Staying because of the money is effectively prostituting yourselves. You are not encourageing it, but by not walking away you are tolerating it. Pushing hands away or telling them to stop isn't enough if they keep trying regardless. That's like the policeman asking the bank robber to stop robbing banks.
No, its not like the policman asking the bank robber to stop rubbing banks because if the cop just asked an active bank robber to stop, he would be fired and then be broke. I swear to god, the other day if i walked away from every guy who tried to touch my coochie during a dance i would have gone home with 10$. Not an option.
Its not like I dance with their finger in my coochie while telling them to stop. I am swatting away the hands the entire time... its annoying but i can deal. And like i said more than once already, when it actually gets to the point where i think they will over power me, yes i get the fuck away. but id rather spend a night slapping hands than going home with no money. I have bills to pay, thats the reality of the situation.
and continuing the dance doesnt necessarily encourage the behavior, assuming they never actually get to touch my coochie. plus when said dances are over, if the customer was a persistant one who i had to play pattycake with the entire time, then i very pushily demand a tip and remind them that they made me need to play stripper ninja and if they dotn tip they will get thrown out etc etc so they end up when all is said and done with spending more money than they would have to begin with, having to deal with a bitchier stripper than they would have if they were polite, and never having been able to successfully touch their coochie. The situation is lose for them too.
and you are correct that it shouldnt need to be explained any more than the fact that punching is not allowed. And the customers are NOT confused. I promise. When we start dancing and swat the hands away and say, no you cant touch the kitty, the confusion ends there. at that point they are just being douchebags and the erotic factor of the dance is going to decrease as the hand slapping increases and the tip that i am going to demand from them is also going to increase. These guys are not going to get any sympathy or benifit of the doubt for being "confused" from me, they are going to get a rude shake down after the dance. And im pretty good at the shake down when i am pissed off ;).
Hopper
12-14-2009, 04:40 AM
No, its not like the policman asking the bank robber to stop rubbing banks because if the cop just asked an active bank robber to stop, he would be fired and then be broke.
Okay but my point was that if you don't walk off, they see no reason to stop. But it seems you do give them other reasons.
I swear to god, the other day if i walked away from every guy who tried to touch my coochie during a dance i would have gone home with 10$. Not an option.
I didn't think all customers were that bad.
...And the customers are NOT confused. I promise. When we start dancing and swat the hands away and say, no you cant touch the kitty, the confusion ends there...
Yeah I wasn't completely serious about the confused part - the hand swatting and verbal requests should clear it up; but then, as someone else said here, some aren't sure you really mean it. Or the erotic nature of the business gives them some stupid idea about how they are entitled anyway. Call it confusion or douchebag. Ultimately criminals are confused people, but we don't excuse them because of it.
Question: How do you know that customers are trying to do this before they actually touch you in the wrong places? Or do they actually get that far before you swat them? I mean, how can you tell what they are TRYING to do before they do it?
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 04:51 AM
I didn't think all customers were that bad.
I didnt either up until this past month. I actually have had pretty much only positive experiences with customers and very few bad ones until November, when i switched what city I was dancing in for law reasons. And there seriously was a day at work last week that was slow and pretty much every customer except for one was god awful and went for the cooch.
Its often regional... at my old club this was rarely a problem. There is a reason why i have been a lot more bitchy and hostile on this forum lately than i was before. There is also a reason why girls bitch a lot about certain areas of the country, because nights like i described are not uncommon. I think the OP works in LA, and LA customers are known for being rude (i have never worked there). It is very possible that if she walked away from every customer like this, she would find her income halved or even worse. In some regions you can walk away from the occasional perv because the rest of the customers in there will by dances and wont try to finger you. But in some places, its just not feasible. And i get the feeling that LA is lots worse as far as customer expectations than where i worked, and my sympathy goes out to her for it. She has stated in other post that she is at a nude high contact club. Sometimes, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do-- and sometimes that includes continuing a dance while swatting some perverts hands away from your vag.
amaliasnightout
12-14-2009, 05:21 AM
Ah I was totally talking about this with some girls tonight.
If I pull your hand away once, don't go in seconds. And no, third time's a charm doesn't work like that either.
I've never stopped a dance, but I have been so aggressive with saying no that the customer is actually the one to stop, and I've had a few guys banned from the club for sticking their hands in the wrong places and not giving up when I say no.
amaliasnightout
12-14-2009, 05:24 AM
No, its not like the policman asking the bank robber to stop rubbing banks because if the cop just asked an active bank robber to stop, he would be fired and then be broke. I swear to god, the other day if i walked away from every guy who tried to touch my coochie during a dance i would have gone home with 10$. Not an option.
Dude, my club still makes the asshole pay.
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 05:42 AM
well you are lucky that your club has your back. some clubs do, some dont. the worst are the ones that take a cut of your LDs and if the guy doesnt pay, they dont help you make him pay, and they STILL demand a cut from the dances! So after ending a dance with some perv, he refuses to pay, you cant make him pay, and YOU owe the club the x$ cut for the dance.
Even if the club makes him pay for the one dance, there are certain situations where selling the repeat dances are necessary. Like i said there was slowww day this week where i worked where almost every guy was like this... and i danced for most of them for multiple songs. If i ended the dances at the first with each customer, after tip outs i would have gone home with very little money. Instead, i managed to go home iwth a sum of money because i kept dancing and slapping the hands away and then afterwards demanded a hefty tip. For me at the time it was either tolerate bullshit, slap hands away, and make money or walk away and not make money. I didnt show up to work to go home broke, so i chose to make money even if it meant repeatedly slapping customers hands away.
Hopper
12-14-2009, 05:43 AM
^There's a point that got by me. If they pay up front for LDs, then you would still get more than $10 a night if you walked away from them all.
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 05:47 AM
After tip out and fees?
Im talking 10$ after all the fees and the cabbie etc etc is paid for-- i always count my earnings after tip out, not before hand. And on this slow night, making money required selling repeat dances. And for me, the best method of selling repeat dances is not having the guy pay up front. Some dancers get paid up front, some dont. It is really dependent on how the dancer hustles and the club set up etc etc. I didnt get stiffed for any dances, but if i had just sold one dance a piece to each of these guys, i would have been broke. So instead i sold several dances to each of these guys, and since htey were rude i demanded large tips and i didnt go home broke.
I fail to see why people have such a difficult time getting this scenario. Or why they are so critical of those of us who chose to swat hands away over walking away. I understand being critical if i chose to continue the dances and let the guy put his finger in my pussy, but since i chose to do multiple dances with pushing hands away and the hands NOT in my pussy, there is no reason to tell me that i should have walked away over making money.
Pretty_Penny
12-14-2009, 09:43 AM
I didnt either up until this past month. I actually have had pretty much only positive experiences with customers and very few bad ones until November, when i switched what city I was dancing in for law reasons. And there seriously was a day at work last week that was slow and pretty much every customer except for one was god awful and went for the cooch.
Its often regional... at my old club this was rarely a problem. There is a reason why i have been a lot more bitchy and hostile on this forum lately than i was before. There is also a reason why girls bitch a lot about certain areas of the country, because nights like i described are not uncommon. I think the OP works in LA, and LA customers are known for being rude (i have never worked there). It is very possible that if she walked away from every customer like this, she would find her income halved or even worse. In some regions you can walk away from the occasional perv because the rest of the customers in there will by dances and wont try to finger you. But in some places, its just not feasible. And i get the feeling that LA is lots worse as far as customer expectations than where i worked, and my sympathy goes out to her for it. She has stated in other post that she is at a nude high contact club. Sometimes, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do-- and sometimes that includes continuing a dance while swatting some perverts hands away from your vag.
From what I've gathered talking to other dancers, esp those who travel, the city you work in makes a HUGE diff. I mean, you're going to come across assholes anywhere, but the % on a whole changes.
My city, Tampa, is known for it's high % of handsy douchebags.
Pretty_Penny
12-14-2009, 09:46 AM
Also, about "not walking away":
You have to figure in how bad the customer base is in general. If 90% of the customers are doing shit like that, you're going to HAVE to deal with some of it, like Athena is saying. Sure, you have a "walking" point (fingers touching the crotch/breasts/whatever) but you might do some "swatting away" at first because you don't have many other good options.
Earl_the_Pearl
12-14-2009, 03:19 PM
I fail to see why people have such a difficult time getting this scenario. Or why they are so critical of those of us who chose to swat hands away over walking away.
Do you think the PLs see this as a mating dance where the women says no but means yes? Especially if you just charge more for it it is just part of the dance.
I hear over and over how PLs don't know what it is to be a dancer; I say dancers don't know what it is like to be a PL who just got a whiff of pussy.
Elvia
12-14-2009, 03:49 PM
^^^ I think what you're describing there is a rapist mentality.
Earl_the_Pearl
12-14-2009, 04:02 PM
^^^ I think what you're describing there is a rapist mentality.
That word is thrown around much too casually for a serious crime. A rapist does not pay and is not invited to stay for another attempt.
This is why I don't do privates dances even in clubs where they are permitted by law.
Elvia
12-14-2009, 04:18 PM
trying to force sexual advances that have been declined is sexual assault, pure and simple. Sorry.
I invite you to check your woman-hating bitterness a the door and join us in the 21st century.
Laurisa
12-14-2009, 04:28 PM
I've heard that the club I want to audition at has strictly enforced rules about contact, and they are a low to medium contact club as it is. I definitely wouldn't want someone trying to put their fingers up my cooch, and if they came close I don't know if I would be able to keep dancing for them. I would probably take the money they had paid me and tell them the show was over, period. I'm going to be breastfeeding while I'm dancing, and at the club I want to work at there is breast touching allowed (but only in VIP). I've been told by girls that currently work there that enough girls say no to boobie grabs altogether to make it easier for you to still make good money if you don't allow that. My issue with it is that my son will be nursing and I don't want a bunch of people's hands on my nipples where he puts his mouth. That sounds really unsanitary and I'm concerned I could pick up some kind of an infection.
I guess if anyone really want to push their luck I will squirt them with mah milk jugs. }:D
Earl_the_Pearl
12-14-2009, 04:42 PM
I guess if anyone really want to push their luck I will squirt them with mah milk jugs. }:D
You will bank beyond your wildest dreams.
Elvia
12-14-2009, 04:52 PM
^^^ I don't think pregnancy fetish is as common in the clubs as you seem to think, Earl.
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 04:56 PM
Do you think the PLs see this as a mating dance where the women says no but means yes? Especially if you just charge more for it it is just part of the dance.
I hear over and over how PLs don't know what it is to be a dancer; I say dancers don't know what it is like to be a PL who just got a whiff of pussy.
I consider charging more to be the (smaller scale) equivalent of a civil lawsuit for emotional damage. I had to put up with slapping your hands away from my cooch for a song, i demand reparations for the additional emotional effort as well as the additional physical exertion that was required to be a stripper ninja on top of a plain ol' lap dancer.
chris91
12-14-2009, 10:01 PM
This is why I don't do privates dances even in clubs where they are permitted by law.
Are you sure it's not just because you're a douche?
Phil-W
12-14-2009, 10:45 PM
Some of the problem might be that the percentage of girls who allow it (although still small) is increasing.
I was giving a dancer a lift home a week or so ago and she was venting on the subject. Some of the names she mentioned of girls doing it were frankly a surprise - until recently, they'd been clean dancers.
And there have always been 'private parties' in London - essentially semi-legal functions where dancers give higher contact lap dances in return for higher prices. Many of the girls who dance at the PP's also dance in the strip pubs (and clubs). I hear the line about what they allow in the pubs and clubs and what they allow in the PP's is becoming increasingly blurred.
While I don't condone trying to grab a dancer between the legs in the slightest - it shouldn't happen - I think we have to be honest and say that some of the problem is that a small percentage of dancers do allow guys to touch them. And that encourages them to try it with other dancers.
Phil.
Earl_the_Pearl
12-14-2009, 10:57 PM
I was giving a dancer a lift home a week or so ago and she was venting on the subject. Some of the names she mentioned of girls doing it were frankly a surprise - until recently, they'd been clean dancers.
How does she know? Dancers that do extras try to hide that from other dancers.
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 11:09 PM
While I don't condone trying to grab a dancer between the legs in the slightest - it shouldn't happen - I think we have to be honest and say that some of the problem is that a small percentage of dancers do allow guys to touch them. And that encourages them to try it with other dancers.
Phil.
this is true for sure. yet another reason why clean dancers dont like extras girls...
either way just because girl X allows it to happen, when girl Y says fuck off, the customer should keep his hands to himself.
Man i swear these men are dumber than dogs. There is a 4 month old puppy around my house, and i only need to tap its nose and yell no dont chew on that max of 3 times before it gets the message. With some men it doesnt matter how many times i slap their hands away and tell them no, they still dont get the message. Evolution at its finest.
Athenathefabulous
12-14-2009, 11:12 PM
How does she know? Dancers that do extras try to hide that from other dancers.
its possible a customer who tried to do it to her said hte other dancers let him do it. Customers lie so it may or may not be true. Ive had customers be like "well i was in here before with ____ and she totally let me touch her pussy." Does this mean that said girl is doing extras? No, not necessarily. A customer willing to try to touch a girls vag after being slapped away has already proven himself to not be a particularly honest character. However, your friend might have been having a rotten day and decided to believe the customer for whatever reason.
Phil-W
12-15-2009, 12:53 AM
How does she know? Dancers that do extras try to hide that from other dancers.
The private dance booths in one venue are separated by curtains. She could hear what was going on, and in one case see silhouettes on the curtain. (The light in her booth failed and she was in semi-darkness).
Phil.
Phil-W
12-15-2009, 12:58 AM
Man i swear these men are dumber than dogs. There is a 4 month old puppy around my house, and i only need to tap its nose and yell no dont chew on that max of 3 times before it gets the message. With some men it doesnt matter how many times i slap their hands away and tell them no, they still dont get the message. Evolution at its finest.
Not always dumb I'm afraid, but predatory.
Some douchebags get a kick out of forcing their will on dancers. And some persuade themselves that, even though the dancer resists, she secretly likes it.
At least your puppy is not malicious.
Phil.
Athenathefabulous
12-15-2009, 01:02 AM
what do you mean "hear what was going on?" There is no distinct noise of fingers entering a vag that would be heard over club music.
Its possible that the customer wanted her to talk dirty or face orgasm noises... i have seen some dancers make fake orgasm noises as part of their hustle when they werent getting fingered etc., although personally i found it very awkward to have to listen to it. And there are always customers who want dirty talk.
Or maybe your friend is right and her coworkers have decided to take a turn for the dirty. The times are rough :(.
** im not trying to be rude with questioning what she heard. Im playing devils advocate a bit. you said they used to be clean dancers... its pretty depressing when previously clean girls start resorting to doing extras :(.
***ya the puppy isnt malicious. I was being facetious mostly with that comment. When dealing with the whole predatory customer thing, sometimes i try to find some humor in it. For instance, i think it is really funny that i was considering buying puppy spray both for the puppy and for myself-- to stop the puppy from chewing my shoes and to stop the customers from licking my titties.
chris91
12-15-2009, 11:52 AM
How does she know? Dancers that do extras try to hide that from other dancers.
I always check out the booths as I walk by to see which guys are buying dances. Also, when I get bored, I'll sometimes go watch the cameras and chat with the dude who watches them. Really, when you've been working at a club long enough, you see things. It's not as easy as you think to do extras in the club and keep it a secret forever.
mediocrity
12-15-2009, 01:08 PM
How does she know? Dancers that do extras try to hide that from other dancers.
Oh please. At least where I work, we all know who does what. I find it particularly amusing to torment them.
audrey_k
12-16-2009, 08:25 AM
^Agreed. I walk in on girls doing extras at my club every once and a while. And you can tell who's doing extras by just seeing how the dancer and customer behave outside the LD booth.
Athenathefabulous
12-16-2009, 08:37 AM
^Agreed. I walk in on girls doing extras at my club every once and a while.
Yes, if you actually see them do extras then you know.
And you can tell who's doing extras by just seeing how the dancer and customer behave outside the LD booth.
Now here, I disagree. and making assumptions without actually seeing anything extra going on is how rumors get spread around the club and drama gets started.
You dont know how she hustles, she might have an overly flirtatious hustle. she also might use the bait and switch hustle, in which case she would act like she would do more, then not follow through.
I guess this irks me a bit when girls assume they know exactly what other girls are doing without witnessing it. This kind of bullshit got some rumors started about me when i was on a high earning streak. I think most girls on this board who have been among the top earners of their club have probably had rumors spread about them at work saying they get so much money because it is 'known' that they do xyz in the private rooms. I think that girls should really take a little bit of care before declaring that they 'know' who the extras girls are.
Golden_Rule
12-16-2009, 10:11 AM
Some of the problem might be that the percentage of girls who allow it (although still small) is increasing.
It depends on where you go clubbing.
In the greater NYC and Philadelphia areas there are so many dancers in S-C's providing extras now, of all sorts, that an inexperienced customer could easily assume this is just how things work in strip-clubs.
Now mind you, I am NOT at all suggesting that is the dancers fault. Those that work clean should be able to go to work and do their thing without getting molested. I'm just saying there are two sides to every tale and the other side of this one is that the current situation regarding availabilities of extras in clubs muddies the water pretty good.
Of course this makes for a more compelling argument by dancers who don't provide extras that the presence of extras in the clubs makes their working conditions more unsavory and difficult.
audrey_k
12-17-2009, 12:15 AM
Yes, if you actually see them do extras then you know.
Now here, I disagree. and making assumptions without actually seeing anything extra going on is how rumors get spread around the club and drama gets started.
You dont know how she hustles, she might have an overly flirtatious hustle. she also might use the bait and switch hustle, in which case she would act like
she would do more, then not follow through.
I guess this irks me a bit when girls assume they
know exactly what other girls are doing without witnessing it. This kind of bullshit got some rumors started about me when i was on a high earning streak. I think most girls on this board who have
been among the top earners of their club have probably had rumors spread about them at work saying they get so much money because it is
'known' that they do xyz in the private rooms. I think that girls should really take a little bit of care before declaring that they 'know' who the extras
;)girls are.
What I'm talking about is, if a customer tells every girl he won't do a VIP unless he gets fucked and then a girl does a VIP with him and;) they come out all buddy buddy after. Or she has a supply of condoms in her purse that gets smaller throughout the night. Or she puts her hand on guys crotches or down their pants on the floor. Or the guy come out of the room with their pants unzipped or unbuttoned. All of which happens every night at my club.
Athenathefabulous
12-17-2009, 12:58 AM
What I'm talking about is, if a customer tells every girl he won't do a VIP unless he gets fucked and then a girl does a VIP with him and;) they come out all buddy buddy after. Or she has a supply of condoms in her purse that gets smaller throughout the night. Or she puts her hand on guys crotches or down their pants on the floor. Or the guy come out of the room with their pants unzipped or unbuttoned. All of which happens every night at my club.
ok ya those are pretty good signs. i guess i have never worked at a club where girls were so obvious about doing extras. ive seen a few things go down, but most of it was invisible. i mean i know they existed because there were condoms etc in the couches, but the girls were always much more discrete about it.
chris91
12-17-2009, 02:40 AM
ok ya those are pretty good signs. i guess i have never worked at a club where girls were so obvious about doing extras. ive seen a few things go down, but most of it was invisible. i mean i know they existed because there were condoms etc in the couches, but the girls were always much more discrete about it.
I think the girls who do that kind of stuff actually think that they are being discreet. Either they are morons or they think everyone else is.
j88rm
06-08-2010, 04:32 PM
I'll admit, there have been a few times when Ive gotten a little handsy during a lap dance and I moved my hand down between a dancers legs. Usually when this happens they just move my hands away and this is a clear message that its off limits.
There was one occasion where a dancer moved my hand down there and let me rub her on the outside of her outfit. This was on the fourth lap dance I got from her. It was a slow night and most of the guys were being jerks to her and demanding that she sit with them but not pay for anything. She said that I was the only one who actually bought a dance from her and that she decided to let me have a little fun. She even let me continue rubbing her after the song was over and I said that I didnt feel like buying anymore dances. I guess I made her night even though I only spent $80 on her.
Point is, is that it doesnt hurt to ask a dancer where she likes to be touched but understand that NO means NO.
And dancer's, if a guy gets handsy even after you've pushed and hit him then just call the bouncer to whoop his ass. I know I would turn my eyes away from the stage to see that.
Hopper
06-09-2010, 02:53 AM
On my first LD, which was in a contact club where touching anywhere except the crotch was allowed, I touched the stripper on her inner thigh a few centimetres from her crotch, up to the leg tendon there, and she didn't say anything. She was a really gorgeous girl so I wouldn't suspect she was into extras. I had no intention of breaking the rules, I was just seeing how far I was allowed to go within them. Of course if and when I had broken the rules and touched her crotch she maight well have said something. But it's odd that she didn't stop me when I got that close. But then in that club it was okay to touch strippers (during LDs) anywhere on their asses, which also means being able to go close to the off-limits area.
Sam Pepys
06-09-2010, 06:11 PM
Don't understand ever wanting to go there without an invitation and certainly can't phantom why anyone would wrestle through a LP or multiple LPs. In two decades of visiting SCs, I've really only touched one dancer in that way. She'd dance for me numerous times but I won't say we had a regular arrangement. She asked if I wanted a second danced. When I said yes, she said, "Then you'll have to put your hand here," placing my hand on her kitty. Kind of strange, because it was in the club's open area and right in front of the stage. I was not at all comfortable with the situation.