View Full Version : The female double standard: heightism...
shoshanna
12-20-2009, 06:20 PM
You know, those sandals you can hike in and get wet in...
http://a1.zassets.com/images/z/1/0/6/1068183-t-THUMBNAIL.jpg (http://forum.stripperweb.com/product/7593639/color/224887)
Oh, hell i wouldn't want to date someone who wore those either.
Djoser
12-20-2009, 06:29 PM
OK thanks, lol!
I wouldn't wear them but I'm not a sandals kind of guy anymore, I have trouble with sandals after a motorcycle accident years ago, my left foot doesn't lift very well and sandals make it worse.
I wear boxing or wrestling shoes almost all the time because of it, with them there is no problem whatsoever. If I was going to a formal dinner, no--but otherwise almost everywhere. If you get the ones that are all black they look fine and go with anything almost. But I have a feeling I have possibly been rejected for wearing them in the past haha.
I remember very well being an artist in Daytona, before I was a DJ and started making money, women would really, really like me--and then run away as fast as they could when they saw my old car. It happened so often I would try to figure out ways to hide my car!
I cannot imagine for the life of me rejecting a woman because she drove any kind of car whatsoever...
shoshanna
12-20-2009, 06:36 PM
Oh, hell i wouldn't want to date someone who wore those either.
LOL! They ARE pretty darn ugly, aren't they?
DJoser, I once dated a guy who had a plastic garbage bag over one of his car windows that was broken! He wasn't poor, just cheap!
KS_Stevia
12-21-2009, 10:31 AM
Nothing wrong with Tevas if you're going river rafting or to the beach. Then again, I live in the hippie capitol of the south, lots of guys wear them.
Djoser
12-21-2009, 03:51 PM
When I was in college no woman ever rejected anyone for wearing anything, it seemed. No one cared what kind of fucking car you drove. Watching TV might have been vaguely unworthy.
Then in Austin Tx. there was some of that (especially amongst the yuppie crowd) but it was still tolerable.
Then in Daytona, there were 10,000 things you could do wrong. You had to watch every step. Sneezing incorrectly was instant disqualification. Being illiterate was very useful though. :D
Here in the Keys it's a lot better, though I did have one English dancer I worked with give me a seriously hard time for wearing a nice jacket (as in suit jacket, not a windbreaker type jacket). But I just laughed at her, what an idiot.
ETA--Not to imply there is anything wrong with English dancers in general, quite the contrary actually.
JayATee
12-21-2009, 04:52 PM
I major complaint of women - and rightly so - are men who are shallow and will only date blonds, or asians, or what ever narrow superficial thing they prefer. I get that complaint, but I see a major double standard in women.
Women who will only date a man who is X tall are shallow, no less so then the guy that will only date skinny blonds... The women who will not date a guy if he's shorter then she is, no matter how great a guy he is, are equally shallow to men no?
The ones that rally blow me away, the girls who are 5' but will only date guys 6'2" or over (yes, I have met such gals...) and such.
My GF in college back in the day was 5'11". I'm 5'7". In heals, she was 6'3". When we first started dating, she admitted she never thought she would date a guy shorter then her, and she wore flats for me. I told her to wear heals where ever and when ever she wanted because only a weak man lacks the character to deal with such minor a minor issue (yes, many men will not date a women taller then he is due to some threat to his masculinity or what have you so that can work both way....) as her being taller.
So what say you ladies to that? Where do you fall in the above? Don't flame me, nothing above is intended to insult anyone, it's just an observation I have noted. ;)
This is funny to me bc Im totally the chick that dated only the tall "muscle" guys and I married a guy smaller and shorter than me. I don't know what category that puts me in lol.
What are Teva's?
The most amazing, rugged sandals ever made.
jaizaine
12-22-2009, 10:09 AM
I'm 5'0 and I prefer not to date tall men just coz I'm more attracted to men 5"6 or shorter and coz it's more practical. However my ex bf of 5 years was just over 6". I just fell for him. My current bf is prob about 5"6 I think.
mediocrity
12-22-2009, 10:24 AM
When I was in college no woman ever rejected anyone for wearing anything, it seemed. No one cared what kind of fucking car you drove. Watching TV might have been vaguely unworthy.
Then in Austin Tx. there was some of that (especially amongst the yuppie crowd) but it was still tolerable.
Then in Daytona, there were 10,000 things you could do wrong. You had to watch every step. Sneezing incorrectly was instant disqualification. Being illiterate was very useful though. :D
Here in the Keys it's a lot better, though I did have one English dancer I worked with give me a seriously hard time for wearing a nice jacket (as in suit jacket, not a windbreaker type jacket). But I just laughed at her, what an idiot.
ETA--Not to imply there is anything wrong with English dancers in general, quite the contrary actually.
My DJ wears a suit jacket every days and I think it's sexy as hell.
Jay12
03-17-2012, 07:06 PM
but it's my impression at least there are far more short men willing to date taller women, then the reverse.
This is more false than a three dollar bill!
I had been rejected MANY TIMES by men that are shorter than me. I am not picky about height, especially if its a really good looking man; I'm 5'9" so I had met tons of men that are shorter than me.
I found this thread randomly, and I do not care if is an old thread.
Kellydancer
03-17-2012, 08:35 PM
This is more false than a three dollar bill!
I had been rejected MANY TIMES by men that are shorter than me. I am not picky about height, especially if its a really good looking man; I'm 5'9" so I had met tons of men that are shorter than me.
I found this thread randomly, and I do not care if is an old thread.
It's interesting this was bumped because I think I may have been rejected because of this. I met a guy recently on a dating site who was 5'6. I am 5'6 1/2- 5'7 so slightly taller than him. When we met he made a comment about me being taller than him. A few days later I got an email stating he felt no chemistry. Was it my height? who knows but what was interesting is this guy wasn't all that either, besides being short he was balding. I have been rejected MANY times for being taller than a man. I think men in general are intimidated by taller women.
I'm not sure that men are pickier in terms of dating but more like delusional which isn't the same. For example if you are man with everything or almost everything like looks, money, etc you can be picky. However if you are fat, ugly, poor the chances of you getting the same kinds of girls interested than the guys with looks or money is slim but they still do this. I have a theory (not proven just what I've seen) that the reason why so many of these guys are still single years later isn't because they were rejected but rather because they were rejected by women out of their league (and yes guys there are leagues, don't believe the bullshit that women don't judge on looks). Many of the guys I am seeing on dating sites are very short, like 5foot to around 5'8 and even am seeing far more guys around 5'4 than 5'8 even.
The Six
03-20-2012, 12:54 PM
Funny how many women claim intimidation is a factor in men's choices. She's tall? He's intimidated by her. She makes lots of money? He's intimidated by her. Wants her to be a stay-at-home mom? Because he's intimidated by her working. Interesting way of rationalizing things. That's some subtle emasculation there.
Jay12
03-20-2012, 03:58 PM
Another reason why I am not picky about height is because my maternal grandparents are like that (grandma is 5'10", grandpa is 5'4"), and they are still together and are very happy. I mean, if they're happy together and love each other height should not be an issue.
ArmySGT.
03-20-2012, 05:11 PM
Height in the horizontal would be more relevant in a relationship.
sammii
03-20-2012, 05:19 PM
While I think bumping such an old thread is kind of silly, I would never date a short guy and I'm short. My boyfriend is exactly a foot taller than me. Yes, I'm shallow. I don't care.
Kellydancer
03-20-2012, 07:15 PM
Funny how many women claim intimidation is a factor in men's choices. She's tall? He's intimidated by her. She makes lots of money? He's intimidated by her. Wants her to be a stay-at-home mom? Because he's intimidated by her working. Interesting way of rationalizing things. That's some subtle emasculation there.
Oh please that is not emasculation. Many men are intimidated by women, whether it's because she's tall or because she has a good career. Not all men but certainly some. Many men make choices based on this delusion that they can get anyone while a woman needs to take what she can. That's why these fat ugly short men try to date much younger, much hotter women then are angry because they aren't interested.
Kellydancer
03-20-2012, 07:17 PM
While I think bumping such an old thread is kind of silly, I would never date a short guy and I'm short. My boyfriend is exactly a foot taller than me. Yes, I'm shallow. I don't care.
Be as shallow as you want, attractive girls have that power at all ages. Personally I don't date fat men or much older men or dads and I've been called shallow on that but I'd rather be shallow and alone then with someone who repulses me.
ArmySGT.
03-20-2012, 07:19 PM
Pics or it did not happen.
lifetravelergirl
03-21-2012, 10:16 PM
I prefer tall guys ^_^ . Go with whatever you think you like, it won't bother me any.
GlitterBexie
03-22-2012, 12:47 PM
My guy is tall, 6,4, i am 5,2. Ive had taller girls complain that i have "taken" a tall man when i could have one much shorter and still be smaller than him. lol. I like being shorter cause even with my 7inch dance shoes on it still makes me average height. Sucks at standing gigs to be me though!
firemaiden04
03-22-2012, 03:06 PM
Funny how many women claim intimidation is a factor in men's choices. She's tall? He's intimidated by her. She makes lots of money? He's intimidated by her. Wants her to be a stay-at-home mom? Because he's intimidated by her working. Interesting way of rationalizing things. That's some subtle emasculation there.
I suppose this is a generational thing, because I personally have never really encountered this first-hand. Then again, men who have problems with successful women are sexist, and I don't choose to be around those types of people. I've more often encountered men who WANTED to date a successful woman/housewife because they wanted a relationship with a pseudo-mommy. They wanted to be picked up after, cooked for, cleaned for, and they also wanted all their expenses to be taken care of so they could sit on their asses and play X-box all day. As I've said before, it's like living with a teenage son, except you fuck him.
I'm 5'5" in real life but nearly 6' when I wear my stripper shoes, and I've never been rejected at work because I tower over some guy. Maybe there's a different dynamic in the club, but I wouldn't know, because I don't wear heels that high when out somewhere.
Kellydancer
03-22-2012, 03:39 PM
I suppose this is a generational thing, because I personally have never really encountered this first-hand. Then again, men who have problems with successful women are sexist, and I don't choose to be around those types of people. I've more often encountered men who WANTED to date a successful woman/housewife because they wanted a relationship with a pseudo-mommy. They wanted to be picked up after, cooked for, cleaned for, and they also wanted all their expenses to be taken care of so they could sit on their asses and play X-box all day. As I've said before, it's like living with a teenage son, except you fuck him.
I'm 5'5" in real life but nearly 6' when I wear my stripper shoes, and I've never been rejected at work because I tower over some guy. Maybe there's a different dynamic in the club, but I wouldn't know, because I don't wear heels that high when out somewhere.
I think it might be a generational thing because I have seen more of the type of men who are intimidated by successful women but not as many who sit around playing Xbox. I know they exist because I've heard of the guys who sit around playing Xbox but want their spouse to clean up after them and often be the breadwinners. Actually come to think of it my psycho former best friend supports her husband because he's too lazy to work then comes home to cook and clean because it's "womens work" and I told her what a moron she was for this. There's no way I would support a man and clean up after him too and am astounded when I read about this here and other places. I figure it this way if I am the one making the money the man better be cooking and cleaning, and if he expects me to cook and clean then I don't expect to have a fulltime job. If a man expects me to cook and clean and support him? hell no, I'd rather be a crazy cat lady with 100 cats.
I like short men- about 5'5. I find that there is often a very big personality to short guys, and also sex works better.
lifetravelergirl
03-23-2012, 11:03 PM
I tend to think about attraction as your genetics seeking to improve upon things when you have a child. Except for some guys who just want to have as many children as possible with as many women as possible. So what I am saying is it isn't a double standard at all. On average women know best, that is all.
Kellydancer
03-24-2012, 11:35 AM
I tend to think about attraction as your genetics seeking to improve upon things when you have a child. Except for some guys who just want to have as many children as possible with as many women as possible. So what I am saying is it isn't a double standard at all. On average women know best, that is all.
The men who want to have kids with as many women as possible are basically not much different than animals and those guys are scum. I get what you are saying though about people and I agree. I come from a family line where one side are exceptionally short (my dad's)and my mom's side are not just tall but good looking, smart and much nicer. Because of that I am one of those people who really hopes that if I have kids I hope they are tall because I saw what my dad's family went through being short and I don't want that for my kids. Short women really don't have these issues but short men do.
Djoser
03-24-2012, 08:57 PM
I tend to think about attraction as your genetics seeking to improve upon things when you have a child. Except for some guys who just want to have as many children as possible with as many women as possible. So what I am saying is it isn't a double standard at all. On average women know best, that is all.
On average, women don't know any better than men. And there are different kinds of double standards affecting each sex, from what I've seen.
That being said, I would no more tell a woman she is wrong to want to date tall guys than I would listen to her tell me I shouldn't date slender women.
;D
GlitterBexie
03-25-2012, 04:28 PM
Being short (as a woman) does suck sometimes though, ive been looking for a summer maxi dress for weeks with no avail, literally, i cannot buy one off the rack without having to take it to an alterations place to have it taken up!
Incantatious
03-26-2012, 02:44 AM
Everyone is shallow. Period. At least in the sense that everybody has certain physical preferences.
I'm 5 ft 5.
I don't think I could date a guy shorter than me. No, really: it depends what he's like, of course, but as a physical attribute, it's certainly not a preference.
I like guys who are around the same height as me, or just a little taller. I am with a guy who is around 5 ft 7 - 8 and very happy. We fit together very nicely.
tempest666
03-26-2012, 05:24 AM
My husband is 5'6 and I'm 5'0. Nuff said :D
Kellydancer
03-26-2012, 09:53 AM
I didn't know you got married, congrats!
cherryblossomsinspring
03-28-2012, 09:58 PM
Well I for one feel you desire what you desire however I desire men that are tall because for some reason their appearance makes me feel safe. On the flip side though which I thought was interesting in my dating is that the shorter men tended to actually be the ones that protected me. I suppose for men that were always short they may have been bullied or picked on throughout their youth. This makes them excellent protectors and I always felt that one of my ex's would kick anyone ass that would f*** with me at a moment's notice. He was just that type of guy that would jump in someone's face. He may have been short but he played Rugby where he was pretty built at a young age. Guys assumed he would cower in fear when trying to hit on me and they were sorely mistaken. With taller or taller+built men , people were intimidated and generally didn't even try messing with me. So on looks alone guys would stay far away.
LibraSnake
03-28-2012, 10:48 PM
I don't even notice a guy's height. It doesn't matter, as long as I don't crick my neck just to look into his eyes. :P
More often, I notice that guys prefer to go for shorter girls. Not that I have trouble finding guys, I just notice that they're more cautious when they do approach me. Whereas they'll easily swoop down on the little ones.
I'm 5'11 too, by the way. But I'm only 122 lbs, so I find it hard to believe that I'm truly Sasquatch. :(
Personally, I don't even consider the "protector" factor, which is why the height issues really puzzle me. If anything, I don't want to feel overpowered by a guy, because I want to be an independent equal. (And yes, I'm the type that offers to pay her share on dates)
Jay12
03-29-2012, 03:22 PM
^Yes, I kinda feel the same when meeting a guy. I really don't notice a guy's height, especially if he's ridiculously hot.
TarsTone
03-29-2012, 09:48 PM
I don't look down on girls who have certain body type requirements, for a similar reason to Djoser except on the opposite side of the spectrum.:)
I've always had a thing for curvy, thick women. If a girl is not in the mid to upper range of her normal BMI, if her legs and ass are not a certain shape and size, there is little she can do to turn me on no matter how pretty her face is.
Whether you like tall or short, skinny or curvy, you can't help what you're attracted to or what turns you off. And I don't think there is anything wrong with being strict about certain physical traits as long as you're not mean to those who fall short of your expectations.
Swagz
03-29-2012, 09:57 PM
I guess because men don't have tits, women are shallow about height, but it still sucks, and it can go both ways. I'm 5'9" and while my height has never significantly dented my attractiveness in the eyes of men, many have shafted me from their "eligibility pool" because I'm tall, maybe because they thought I wouldn't go for them. Other times, even tall guys I've [briefly] dated have bitched at me for wearing heels. "You don't need heels; you're already tall. Now you're as tall as me!"
The funny thing is that while I think height is attractive, I've been juicily attracted to men shorter than me as well. If they have a strong personality it matters much more than any physical characteristic. When I think of a sexy man the first things that come to mind are personality traits: confident, capable, witty, assertive, driven, intellectual, doesn't act like a puss when I wear heels. I give zero shits about whether he's a couple of inches shorter or taller. Granted, I want someone who is hygenic and reasonably well-formed and healthy and everyone has preferences, but being excessively shallow is for stupid people. Why throw the suave, eligible man-baby out with the proverbial bathwater?
ha
Jgoody90
03-31-2012, 07:49 AM
As Asian girl I agree. True I see very tiny Asian girls with HUGE white men. It seems pretty obvious they are over-compensating. There was this dancer I admired called "Asia" an she was around this VERY tall guy at the club. All girls in school date taller man. If he is short he must have something else to compensate like money or be very popular/cool. Tall guy just needs to be tall an talk right.
Swagz
03-31-2012, 05:14 PM
that is pretty true regardless of personal preference. Ive read some stats about tall males having more positive assumptions made about them etc.
mediocrity
03-31-2012, 06:30 PM
After being with someone who is super tall, I have to say now that if we ever split up, I couldn't ever go back to seeing anyone under 6'.
unbeleavable
03-31-2012, 06:45 PM
I'm 5'10 & have never had a problem because I really never met a woman taller than me I wanted but I've read plenty of bio's on date site that give a height & than a height with heels...lol
mediocrity
03-31-2012, 06:46 PM
I'm 5'10 & have never had a problem because I really never met a woman taller than me I wanted but I've read plenty of bio's on date site that give a height & than a height with heels...lol
That was an issue for me. I'm 5'9" and 6' in heels. :) My husband is 6'5".
Frenchie
03-31-2012, 07:10 PM
That was an issue for me. I'm 5'9" and 6' in heels. :) My husband is 6'5".
If your husband were 5'5", would you have married him?
I've always wondered how men feel about being with a woman who claims to love him unconditionally, yet who would never have given him a look had he not met her height requirement.
And what's this "in heels" bull? I'm 14'2" on stilts!
unbeleavable
03-31-2012, 07:17 PM
I've never had a problem with a woman coming up with a reason because I come up with more than height...believe me:) I'm very picky...
Frenchie
03-31-2012, 07:19 PM
The men who want to have kids with as many women as possible are basically not much different than animals and those guys are scum. I get what you are saying though about people and I agree. I come from a family line where one side are exceptionally short (my dad's)and my mom's side are not just tall but good looking, smart and much nicer. Because of that I am one of those people who really hopes that if I have kids I hope they are tall because I saw what my dad's family went through being short and I don't want that for my kids. Short women really don't have these issues but short men do.
One could use the same logic to say they "prefer" white men, because they see what minorities go through.
Come on girls, just admit it: you just want a tall guy, maybe because of your biology, maybe because you want tall kids so they won't be picked on, or maybe they're a status symbol. Feel more protected with one? Short guys usually fight better because they have to but are you requiring a man fight for you too? Then you want a violent one.
The height issue itself is secondary to our not wanting to be honest if the honesty offends someone. Fact is, however, a man cannot control his height, and a woman who judges him on that basis is rewarding or punishing him for something he had absolutely nothing to do with. It's like the women who say they like wealthy men because they are ambitious, yet wind up with some trustfund baby.
mediocrity
03-31-2012, 07:21 PM
If your husband were 5'5", would you have married him?
I've always wondered how men feel about being with a woman who claims to love him unconditionally, yet who would never have given him a look had he not met her height requirement.
And what's this "in heels" bull? I'm 14'2" on stilts!
I've openly stated I'm a 60-40 girl: for me it's 60% looks, 40% personality. If he didn't meet my looks requirements, I never would have expressed interest in him initially to get to the point of marriage. Sounds shitty, but I own up to it. Conversely, if he would have been equally attractive but an idiot, I wouldn't have married him either.
Thanks for trolling me though. I noticed. Keeps me on my toes.
unbeleavable
03-31-2012, 07:22 PM
IDK if short guys fight better but they get into more....lol
_Avery_
03-31-2012, 07:43 PM
I've been with my husband 10 years and he's shorter than me.
I'm 5'8, he's 5'7. Not a huge difference, but I still only feel comfortable around him in flats, tennies or flip flops.
I still feel protected around him though. He's a fucking asshole..that's for sure. Maybe because he's short...I dunno, but I know he'll back me up and protect me regardless of the situation.
Generally, I'm more attracted to big, tall, "bear kinda guys"
and generally he's more attracted to short, petite blondes with big tits.
(We're each other's complete opposite)
Somehow, we've lasted this long though!
Kellydancer
03-31-2012, 09:41 PM
I've openly stated I'm a 60-40 girl: for me it's 60% looks, 40% personality. If he didn't meet my looks requirements, I never would have expressed interest in him initially to get to the point of marriage. Sounds shitty, but I own up to it. Conversely, if he would have been equally attractive but an idiot, I wouldn't have married him either.
Thanks for trolling me though. I noticed. Keeps me on my toes.
That's a troll who seems to stalk certain members. I'm pretty sure it's a male.
Anyway I don't see what the big deal is about women being shallow and only dating men they find attractive. I am 41 and admit I am shallow and have no problems with others being shallow too. I have given short, fat and ugly men a chance and the fact is all of them were jerks. Why waste my time with someone who's nasty and revolting to me? After all these types of men seem to think women aren't shallow and will date anyone while they are repulsive and try to date hot girls. Recently I went on a date with a guy slightly shorter than me and I have a feeling this is why he wasn't interested (though I wasn't either that much). I have told obese men that I wouldn't be interested in dating them unless they lost weight.