View Full Version : Sentimental attachments in strip clubs
bem401
01-12-2010, 08:39 AM
mediocrity, of course there have been very rare cases of dancer developing real friends, but from what i've read on these threads these cases are not that at all, i commented once like what 3 months ago on one of these"im cool i'm friends with dancer" bullshit threads or one guy cause he don't spend and dancers talk to him he's a friend, lol, and gave up figuring its hopless getting honesty out of these bullshitt artists, but the level of bullshit recently is so high even i started commenting again, dancers have a few of these guys in every club and they try to inject themselves into dancer lives claiming its real life when it always about the club. or some minimal outside contact, i bet you they are not goin to the dancers residence nor are the dancers going to their place to talk or whatever, do they even call the dancer on the phone on a routine basis? Does the dancer call them to talk about other things other than the club?, i bet you they donn't, are theyy hanging outside the clubs as friends and talkingt there?, and you will see how they evade these questions when people in here ask them point blank.
Phil and Wise are right. There are a handful of dancers with whom I have the type of relationships you describe. It was just the way things developed. It wasn't anything planned. I think more dancers pulled the plug me as a customer than I did on them as a dancer.
Hopper
01-13-2010, 01:43 AM
I wasn't even talking strictly about dating dancers. Its just my experience that the girls I became friends with IRL most likely would not have allowed into their real life any man still patronizing them in the club. I've never really discussed it with them though. The dances just became mutually uncomfortable for us to continue and eventually RL friendships developed. It wasn't anything planned either. Its just sort of how things transpired. Some of the other girls I've become RL friends with are girls I've never even danced with either.
To answer your question specifically, it depends on the woman, but most of my friends would be reluctant to date or become friends with any guy actively buying dances (particularly full contact ones) from them, particularly if we are talking about a relatively new customer, all of whom they tend to be wary of.
Okay. Originally I thought you and Phil were talking about whether a stripper would refuse to date a customer who touched her in an LD in a contact club. Not a regular, just one or two LDs. I am not sure whether that is what Phil meant.
Hopper
01-13-2010, 02:03 AM
I've never worked at any club (out of about 16-18 clubs total) where breast contact was allowed. It has ALWAYS been specifically disallowed in the rules stated when a contract was signed. That doesn't mean that it wasn't club standard at a few clubs I've worked, but its never a club rule. Then again, the dirtiest clubs I worked were in a city with a bullshit 3 foot rule, the clubs were really nice and upscale, and many of the dancers were gorgeous too.
Virtually all of the clubs in my town, and, from what I have been told, my whole country, are contact and allow breast contact. So I have never visitted one which did not. Until coming to this site, I assumed that clubs everywhere else allow it. They have allowed it for at least the past 13 years. Perhaps the strippers are allowed to decide for themselves individually, but the stripper I mentionned above is the only one I know who didn't allow it.
I don't really understand, or appreciate boob touching as a norm, especially in the first dance. Boobs and nipples are really sensitive, intimate areas, and so many men do not touch them properly, they grope and maul, so my boobs get sore and painful halfway through the night. Yes, I'm talking from experience working in a club where boob touching was the norm.
Yes it does seem odd that so many girls are willing to allow hundreds of strange men to handle their breasts, which are quite sensitive and delicate areas. Yet that is the norm where I live.
Strippers have told me that some customers are rough. They have never told me I was, and some have commented that I was remarkably gentle. Wherever I touch a stripper in an LD, it's to feel, not squeeze. Anyway I don't spend the whole 15 - 30 minutes just touching their boobs.
I never thought much about what other customers do and I naturally take care when touching any girl's breasts, so it rarely occurred to me that it is a problem.
Anyway, whatever your club allows, and whatever the dancers are willing to do, that's fine...but I wouldn't ever work again in a place where boob grabbing was an expectation of the customers, especially during the first dance. That's just me, the boob grabbing is the point where I tune the customers out, its really waaaaaaaay beyond my comfort level. Boobs aren't legs, ya know?
Apparently it isn't beyond the comfort level of the strippers in all the clubs where I am - at least those that continue to do it after the first week or so and aren't in deep financial trouble. I have never knowingly been "tuned out" by a stripper during an LD. But it must cause them continual anxiety.
So, you admit that you didn't know, admitting your mistakes is progress. :P There are some cities where no-contact and contact work fine along side each other. Atlanta is one. Also, a lot of New England, cities are really close together, so one city may be no contact, but its only a 20 minute drive to another city with full contact.
Maybe yoda, or a custy with more experience in these areas say something. I've never worked in an air dance club.
Interesting. Thanks.
Hopper
01-13-2010, 02:07 AM
Hopper - I have a life outside of SC's. I help (as I have posted before) a few dancers out with lifts, but it's not a major part of my time.
I never doubted that.
If a girl wants me to get to the venue at 1, I'll spend time with more conventional friends until 12.30, then make my excuses and leave. I'd guess my total time in SC's is no more that 2 - 3 hours a week, a fraction of the time I spend on other things.
Thats a lot of time even for a customer.
Hopper
01-13-2010, 02:09 AM
Agree 100%. The ones I kept in touch with (the one who became a personal friend and others who became regulars I did private parties for) never touched me. That is why I kept in contact with them. The closest it came to any of that is I've given them kisses on the cheek and maybe hugs (I've hugged my one friend). I've found that the guys who tried to grope me were cheapos looking for a skank.
Perfectly logical. But a different situation to the one I was talking about.
Btw, my one friend never treated me as a stripper ever. My regulars was more of a mixed bag, but they were just in it for the entertainment. In fact I met the wife of one of them and she was fine with the whole thing (as strange as it sounds). I've never done anything sexual with any of them. If I end up sleeping with my one guy friend (or we grope each other) it's because he became my boyfriend.
I don't follow what people here mean by "treat as a stripper". Surely if a customer buys an LD from you or even just watches you on stage, he is treating you as a stripper. And if he does neither of those things, isn't he just pest - a waste of space and the stripper's time?
chris91
01-13-2010, 04:37 AM
Virtually all of the clubs in my town, and, from what I have been told, my whole country, are contact and allow breast contact.
What country do you live in? I have never even heard of a club in America that doesn't make the girls sign a contract stating that they won't let guys touch their boobs.
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 05:56 AM
So true. This has saved my ass many times. I even have one club nearby that is my "eye candy only" club. I have never bought a lap dance in there and I never will.
why????
yoda57us
01-13-2010, 06:14 AM
why????
My reasons for this where all stated back at the beginning of the thread. If you care to go back to the first couple of pages it will make sense. I can't really summarize it ant better than I did in my original posts.
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 06:36 AM
. If she considers you now a REAL friend then she will no longer want to dance for you or will feel uncomfortable about it. If this is the case then otc is the route to go with friendship if you can handle it. If she is starting to like you then she will let you know and the situation will handle itself.
This is not necessarily true. It depends on the dancer. I would not feel uncomfortable dancing for a OTC friend. I do it quite regularly. It's not awkward at all, in fact it makes the dance more enjoyable.
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 06:40 AM
I don't disagree with Hopper here. I think it requires a lot of skill at compartmentalizing things to say you really care about a stripper as a person and yet still buy dances from her. Ditto for a dancer selling dances to a customer/friend. Once sentimentality gets involved and lines get blurred, things gets dicey.
that's kind of like saying if u love a woman u wouldnt want to fuck her. i dont understand the view that buying dances = lack of respect, caring or treating a person like an object. it's a fun experience. I dont feel degraded by it at all. I enjoy dancing for certain customers. dancing for a guy who does feel affections towards u can be one of the most enjoyable things.
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 06:48 AM
That said, a stripper's job success is largely contingent on creating the illusion that chemistry exists. Is it real or is it Memorex?
I like this. It's so true but I like the way you think about it. Getting big $$$$$ out of a guy absolutely depends on him believing we have clicked and I am enjoying it as much as he is. That is why they watch my facial expressions when I dance for them and don't just stare at my tits or pussy. They want me to be enjoying dancing for them.
As for the OP's original question.....I have never understood men spending money on dancer's who are not attractive or at least not a total turn on to the customer. I don't think strip clubs are for charitable purposes so I think men should give their money to girls who turn them on.
Just stop tipping her FULL STOP. I know it's harsh but it's the type of negative reinforcement that will let her know in no uncertain terms that she needs to make her money elsewhere.
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 06:54 AM
My reasons for this where all stated back at the beginning of the thread. If you care to go back to the first couple of pages it will make sense. I can't really summarize it ant better than I did in my original posts.
I found it. I skimmed thru the now 8 page thread.;D
bem401
01-13-2010, 07:46 AM
that's kind of like saying if u love a woman u wouldnt want to fuck her. i dont understand the view that buying dances = lack of respect, caring or treating a person like an object. it's a fun experience. I dont feel degraded by it at all. I enjoy dancing for certain customers. dancing for a guy who does feel affections towards u can be one of the most enjoyable things.
How many of your regular customers evolved into RL friends and still were customers of yours in the club? Several of the dancers I eventually became RL friendly with had very low opinions of the guys they provided dances to. Remember, dances in my area are among the highest contact dances anywhere. My understanding is that 1/3 or more of the dances around here conclude with a happy ending. IMO, the girls view the guys buying them as anything but RL friends and I thought that was what Hopper was hinting at becoming, a RL friend
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 08:02 AM
How many of your regular customers evolved into RL friends and still were customers of yours in the club? Several of the dancers I eventually became RL friendly with had very low opinions of the guys they provided dances to. Remember, dances in my area are among the highest contact dances anywhere. My understanding is that 1/3 or more of the dances around here conclude with a happy ending. IMO, the girls view the guys buying them as anything but RL friends and I thought that was what Hopper was hinting at becoming, a RL friend
Maybe that is where the difference lies. Where I live in Melbourne the dances are very low contact. Some clubs allow the guys to touch our hips (but it's guided touching where the dancer holds the guys hands).
Prostitution is legal here and there are brothels all over the city and the price is as low as $60 for full sex at some so guys who come into the clubs are not looking for that (not in a dance anyway). I get lots of offers for paid sex OTC and they are offering $1k or much more but I'm not interested in pursuing that line of work.
I have made a few friends who were initially buying dances off me. One of them was my regular for a couple of years and I now occasionally have a coffee with him and he is on my facebook LOL.
yoda57us
01-13-2010, 10:50 AM
This is not necessarily true. It depends on the dancer. I would not feel uncomfortable dancing for a OTC friend. I do it quite regularly. It's not awkward at all, in fact it makes the dance more enjoyable.
j. If I could click the "thank you" button for this post a thousand times I would do it!
THANK YOU!
Kellydancer
01-13-2010, 11:04 AM
Perfectly logical. But a different situation to the one I was talking about.
I don't follow what people here mean by "treat as a stripper". Surely if a customer buys an LD from you or even just watches you on stage, he is treating you as a stripper. And if he does neither of those things, isn't he just pest - a waste of space and the stripper's time?
By that I mean he never expected anything from me at all. When we'd go out, he'd treat me as a regular girl and not a stripper. Sure in the club he'd buy dances (I wouldn't have gotten to known him otherwise), but out of the club he never brought it up. Then again this was a no contact club at all. It's hard to explain at times, but he is much different than many other customers. No, not all customers are the same.
jaizaine
01-13-2010, 10:58 PM
j. If I could click the "thank you" button for this post a thousand times I would do it!
THANK YOU!
no problem!! ;D
At least I know what I'm going to get with a person I know. The more comfortable I feel around someone, the better lap dance I can give them. With a complete stranger it takes time to get to that level of comfort. A lot of my OTC friends who have had a lap dance with me must find the same thing coz many of them have told me they have never had an erection during a lap dance (keeping in mind dances in my city are pretty much air dances) yet they got an erection from me. I credit this not only to my sensuality but also because there is already some rapport.
Hopper
01-14-2010, 02:22 AM
By that I mean he never expected anything from me at all. When we'd go out, he'd treat me as a regular girl and not a stripper. Sure in the club he'd buy dances (I wouldn't have gotten to known him otherwise), but out of the club he never brought it up. Then again this was a no contact club at all. It's hard to explain at times, but he is much different than many other customers. No, not all customers are the same.
Okay - I didn't realise you were talking about how your frined treats you outside of your job. I would not treat a stripper as a stripper outside of her club either. I know it's just a job, though perhaps some strippers identify more with their jobs than others. I don't think of them only as strippers even inside their clubs.
Phil-W
01-14-2010, 12:57 PM
This is not necessarily true. It depends on the dancer. I would not feel uncomfortable dancing for a OTC friend. I do it quite regularly. It's not awkward at all, in fact it makes the dance more enjoyable.
I personally am uncomfortable getting a lap dance from dancers I know OTC - but that's because I know they don't want me to pay attention.
In the event that I knew the dancer got a bit of a buzz out of it, then that's a different situation. Then it would be a bit rude not to go with the flow. And in that situation, if I knew what the dancer liked, I guess I'd play along with it. If she's entertaining me, then its nice to at least partially return the compliment.
Phil.
Kellydancer
01-14-2010, 01:12 PM
Okay - I didn't realise you were talking about how your frined treats you outside of your job. I would not treat a stripper as a stripper outside of her club either. I know it's just a job, though perhaps some strippers identify more with their jobs than others. I don't think of them only as strippers even inside their clubs.
But many guys can't separate the two. I have guy friends (I didn't meet them in the club, I know them from high school) who used to think that because I danced I'd give them a dance. I told them that outside of the clubs dances are for boyfriends only. Incidentally the one guy friend I am talking about previous never even asked for a private dance outside of the club.
bem401
01-15-2010, 07:24 AM
Okay - I didn't realise you were talking about how your frined treats you outside of your job. I would not treat a stripper as a stripper outside of her club either. I know it's just a job, though perhaps some strippers identify more with their jobs than others. I don't think of them only as strippers even inside their clubs.
My observation Hopper has been that if you wish to have a friendship IRL with a dancer, you are not helping that happen if you treat her like a stripper even in the club. I think the main reason I have been able to develop RL friendships with dancers is because I stopped treating them as dancers or never treated them that way at all. People here attack me for not being a typical patron in the club but it is a situation that works for myself and those I'm friendly with. The cessation of the dancer/customer interaction was initiated by the dancers more than me.
KS_Stevia
01-15-2010, 09:07 AM
Why the fuck would someone set out a strategy to be just friends with a stripper? LOL.
bem401
01-15-2010, 09:14 AM
Why the fuck would someone set out a strategy to be just friends with a stripper? LOL.
Wasn't that what he was describing earlier in the thread, what a dancer might think of him inside and outside the club?
I agree it's a stupid strategy to enter the club shooting for that and its highly unlikely to happen given that it's starting in a SC.
Kellydancer
01-15-2010, 12:02 PM
My observation Hopper has been that if you wish to have a friendship IRL with a dancer, you are not helping that happen if you treat her like a stripper even in the club. I think the main reason I have been able to develop RL friendships with dancers is because I stopped treating them as dancers or never treated them that way at all. People here attack me for not being a typical patron in the club but it is a situation that works for myself and those I'm friendly with. The cessation of the dancer/customer interaction was initiated by the dancers more than me.
That's exactly how some strippers become friends with customers. They treat them like a girl doing a job. But many guys don't get it. Also, it's only going to happen in rare instances. If a guy is going to a club just to become friends they will be disappointed. If they are going and it develops, much more realistic. The guys that treated me as stripper in the club were never going to be anything but customers. Guys that pawed me (or rather tried to since I worked no contact) would never be friends. Neither would the guys asking for extras (which I never would provide) or those who were obviously desperate (the ones who came in and thought because they spent money we were an item), or the guys who came in only to look. I didn't stay in contact with one of these guys. My friendship developed over time mostly because it was an unexpected thing.
WestCoast101
01-15-2010, 12:28 PM
what happens when most customers decide to become a non customer by not buying dancers or spending any real money so they can be a "friend"??? you get broke dancers, not sure if i buy this bullshit because there's a thin line between a pest and a freind for thse girls, they are captive to their shift and they can hardly avoid customers that come by all the time. i don't think anyone in here is a "real life" freind to these chicks, the dancers know these guys are cheap and don't bother asking anymore and they talk probably to them just to kill time, and want to be polite. the way i loook at it is these girls are on a job to make MONEY and you shouldn't be wasting their time with this delusional friends bullshit, and either spend real money on or not hang with them, and especiallydon't take advantage of their sympathy or polititeness or whatever,
bem401
01-15-2010, 12:36 PM
what happens when most customers decide to become a non customer by not buying dancers or spending any real money so they can be a "friend"??? you get broke dancers, not sure if i buy this bullshit because there's a thin line between a pest and a freind for thse girls, they are captive to their shift and they can hardly avoid customers that come by all the time. i don't think anyone in here is a "real life" freind to these chicks, the dancers know these guys are cheap and don't bother asking anymore and they talk probably to them just to kill time, and want to be polite. the way i loook at it is these girls are on a job to make MONEY and you shouldn't be wasting their time with this delusional friends bullshit, and either spend real money on or not hang with them, and especiallydon't take advantage of their sympathy or polititeness or whatever,
Oh its not necessarily something you can plan to have happen and it only happens in special cases. Sometimes a friendship just evolves. Believe what you want, but I am actually making this entry from the home computer of a dancer I've never done a dance with. I'm helping her BF do some stuff around her house. Does that make more of a friend or, as you say, a pest?
Kellydancer
01-15-2010, 12:39 PM
what happens when most customers decide to become a non customer by not buying dancers or spending any real money so they can be a "friend"??? you get broke dancers, not sure if i buy this bullshit because there's a thin line between a pest and a freind for thse girls, they are captive to their shift and they can hardly avoid customers that come by all the time. i don't think anyone in here is a "real life" freind to these chicks, the dancers know these guys are cheap and don't bother asking anymore and they talk probably to them just to kill time, and want to be polite. the way i loook at it is these girls are on a job to make MONEY and you shouldn't be wasting their time with this delusional friends bullshit, and either spend real money on or not hang with them, and especiallydon't take advantage of their sympathy or polititeness or whatever,
Guys that stop spending money will find that in most cases those "friendships" were never there to begin with. Stop spending money so a dancer will be a friend won't help. I know my situation is extremely rare because neither one of us was a stereotypical dancer or customer. Btw, we didn't start hanging out until I left that club (which I was planning to do and had nothing to do with him).
KS_Stevia
01-15-2010, 12:48 PM
WestCoast is quite full of vitriol but he makes a compelling point.
yoda57us
01-15-2010, 12:49 PM
what happens when most customers decide to become a non customer by not buying dancers or spending any real money so they can be a "friend"???
Well, first of all "most" customers don't do this. Most guys, myself included, go into the club to have some fun and that includes buying dances. If a customer and a dancer develop a real world OTC friendship that may also result in the customer no longer buying dances from her. This is not something you plan as a customer...unless you are an idiot.
For the record, I still don't buy into the theory that dances and friendship can't mix. What works for two people depends on the two people. Inspite of all the expert opinions floating around here on this thread there is no formula or requirement for true friendship between two people other than honesty.
KS_Stevia
01-15-2010, 12:55 PM
That's because you are a wonderful friend Yoda, and an absolute pleasure to be around. I haven't seen you inside a club, but you sure are swell OTC. :) :)
Oh, and if I had met Yoda in the club, we'd still be friends now that I'm retired. He's just THAT cool.
bem401
01-15-2010, 01:57 PM
Well, first of all "most" customers don't do this. Most guys, myself included, go into the club to have some fun and that includes buying dances. If a customer and a dancer develop a real world OTC friendship that may also result in the customer no longer buying dances from her. This is not something you plan as a customer...unless you are an idiot.
Absolutely true. The cessation of dances is a consequence of the friendship, not vice versa.
For the record, I still don't buy into the theory that dances and friendshyip can't mix. What works for two people depends on the two people. Inspite of all the expert opinions floating around here on this thread there is no formula or requirement for true friendship between two people other than honest.
This all depends on the individuals involved. For the record, most of the girls I became friendly with made it clear to me that they did not hold their dance-buying customers in the highest regard and that led me to not want to be part of that group of guys.
Kellydancer
01-15-2010, 03:15 PM
This all depends on the individuals involved. For the record, most of the girls I became friendly with made it clear to me that they did not hold their dance-buying customers in the highest regard and that led me to not want to be part of that group of guys.
That's rather interesting. I know that my one friend bought dances initially, then started paying him to chat with him, then from there. Personally, I didn't think my dance buying customers were all bad. The ones that kept their hands to themselves were fine to me.
yoda57us
01-15-2010, 04:18 PM
This all depends on the individuals involved.
Yes BEM, that is exactly what I said...in fact, I've said it several times...
For the record, most of the girls I became friendly with made it clear to me that they did not hold their dance-buying customers in the highest regard and that led me to not want to be part of that group of guys.
Well, it's good that you finally got that on the record but, as we just agreed, it's not about groups of guys, it is about the individuals involved.
yoda57us
01-15-2010, 04:19 PM
That's because you are a wonderful friend Yoda, and an absolute pleasure to be around. I haven't seen you inside a club, but you sure are swell OTC. :) :)
Oh, and if I had met Yoda in the club, we'd still be friends now that I'm retired. He's just THAT cool.
I'm getting a very big head right now...and it feels really really good!:)
Hopper
01-15-2010, 05:29 PM
My observation Hopper has been that if you wish to have a friendship IRL with a dancer, you are not helping that happen if you treat her like a stripper even in the club. I think the main reason I have been able to develop RL friendships with dancers is because I stopped treating them as dancers or never treated them that way at all. People here attack me for not being a typical patron in the club but it is a situation that works for myself and those I'm friendly with. The cessation of the dancer/customer interaction was initiated by the dancers more than me.
I've never seen the same stripper enough times for that to happen, tt's possible that a stripper might want to be my frined after meeting once or a few times. But I don't go to SCs to make friends.
Hopper
01-15-2010, 06:13 PM
Wasn't that what he was describing earlier in the thread, what a dancer might think of him inside and outside the club?
I agree it's a stupid strategy to enter the club shooting for that and its highly unlikely to happen given that it's starting in a SC.
I was talking about the OP, not about what I want. I think I made it pretty clear from the start in this thread that I don't go to SCs to make friends with strippers. My point all along has been that that is not what SCs are for.
All I did was ask you at one point whether touching a stripper in the permitted places during a contact LD excludes me from any chance of dating her if I wished to ask her. I asked because you or Phil said something to the effect that it would. I was just querying your or his comment. That doesn't mean I go to SCs to pick up strippers - though I also would not exclude that possibility. A hot girl is a hot girl wherever I meet her.
Hopper
01-15-2010, 06:34 PM
Guys that stop spending money will find that in most cases those "friendships" were never there to begin with. Stop spending money so a dancer will be a friend won't help. I know my situation is extremely rare because neither one of us was a stereotypical dancer or customer. Btw, we didn't start hanging out until I left that club (which I was planning to do and had nothing to do with him).
This implies that most strippers are stereotypical, which they often comment here is not true.
Hopper
01-15-2010, 06:37 PM
This all depends on the individuals involved. For the record, most of the girls I became friendly with made it clear to me that they did not hold their dance-buying customers in the highest regard and that led me to not want to be part of that group of guys.
What other kind of customers are there than dance-buynig customers? Tipping at the stage and paying for conversation? It's ironic that LDs are their biggest money-makers and that customers who buy them are not the best regarded ones. They even scorn customers who don't buy dances as cheap-skates.
If they didn't hold you in high regard before you stopped buying dances from them, how did they become genuinely friendly toward you before you stopped?
Did you continue buying dances from stippers in the same club who weren't friendly with you? Because that would mean that you are still in the dance-buying group, just not from her.
Kellydancer
01-15-2010, 07:27 PM
This implies that most strippers are stereotypical, which they often comment here is not true.
Most aren't I would hope. Certainly no one here is a stereotypical stripper. However, there are many strippers who are what people think.
WestCoast101
01-15-2010, 08:06 PM
WestCoast is quite full of vitriol but he makes a compelling point.
time is money on any job but particularly so with dancers, they get no health benefits, no paid sick days, and routinely hanging with a non-paying "non-customer" is hardly productive, especially with a "customer" going to a specified club mulitple days a week with one or two particular dancer "friends" in mind to hang out with. They might think the dancer only talks to them in their free time, but it stilll interferes with most dancers making money, unless the girl is so hot she can make money anytime she wants, and needs a short break, but even then time beyond an incidental amount like 10 minutes tops, seems a problem to me at least sort of like interfering with their job.
I'm getting a very big head right now...and it feels really really good!:) My head would be similarly engorged }:D
FBR
WestCoast101
01-16-2010, 12:24 AM
maybe bullshit wass too strong a word, i am beginning to think that the problem in here is claiming there are general rules when the circumstances are very unique, . maybe a dancer thinks badly of her paying customers because some are assholes, troublemakers, ass grabbers, pussy lickers, or creat drama where none exists or other bullshit, and maybe some dancers need to time to vent so they actually want to hang with certainn non paying customers despite losing money. i just don't see rules of general application here at all though. dancer once in a blue mooon become friends with paying customer and those that stopped paying -[ its about indviduals as someone said earlier
WestCoast101
01-16-2010, 03:20 AM
Phil and Wise are right. There are a handful of dancers with whom I have the type of relationships you describe. It was just the way things developed. It wasn't anything planned. I think more dancers pulled the plug me as a customer than I did on them as a dancer.
dancers are not going to willingly give up paying customers, so my guess is you really were never a regular customer anyways, maybe a small amount of spending at best, and mabye they don't bother with you about dances at all anymore becasue it would be futile and they know this, and because they still talk to you you translate that into being freinds. unless you got all sorts of regular things going on with them outside the club, its just a club thing really, i guess that might be like club freinds or something it they talk to you, not sure.
KS_Stevia
01-16-2010, 08:18 AM
time is money on any job but particularly so with dancers, they get no health benefits, no paid sick days, and routinely hanging with a non-paying "non-customer" is hardly productive, especially with a "customer" going to a specified club mulitple days a week with one or two particular dancer "friends" in mind to hang out with. They might think the dancer only talks to them in their free time, but it stilll interferes with most dancers making money, unless the girl is so hot she can make money anytime she wants, and needs a short break, but even then time beyond an incidental amount like 10 minutes tops, seems a problem to me at least sort of like interfering with their job.
Well, unfortunately WestCoast, there is still a lot of downtime at the clubs. Or sometimes, there are just more dancers than customers, and the few customers there aren't buying. Sometimes its actually a decent hustle to "sit" with a regular to create the illusion of business, and demand.
More later.
yoda57us
01-16-2010, 09:36 AM
maybe bullshit wass too strong a word, i am beginning to think that the problem in here is claiming there are general rules when the circumstances are very unique, .
Bingo...
yoda57us
01-16-2010, 09:43 AM
Well, unfortunately WestCoast, there is still a lot of downtime at the clubs. Or sometimes, there are just more dancers than customers, and the few customers there aren't buying. Sometimes its actually a decent hustle to "sit" with a regular to create the illusion of business, and demand.
More later.
Very true. One of my very first ATF's had other guys convinced that she spent hours sitting with me because I spent thousands on her every month. In reality I was spending probably less than five small a month. I always went in on slow nights so she would hang out anyway until the club got busy it it almost seemed to create a buzz among other customers for her.
jaizaine
01-16-2010, 09:59 AM
it's silly and unrealistic when people come in and post here in "absolute" terms. A dancer would never really like a customer in such and such circumstances or a customer would never blah blah.
What happens inside a strip club happens between human beings with feelings and emotions sometimes beyond their control. On a given day someone might feel vulnerable and need something different outside the norm.
I can tell you I've made some very close friendships with club regulars - the type who got dances off me and even one particular guy who has never given me a single dollar.
jaizaine
01-16-2010, 10:01 AM
Very true. One of my very first ATF's had other guys convinced that she spent hours sitting with me because I spent thousands on her every month. In reality I was spending probably less than five small a month. I always went in on slow nights so she would hang out anyway until the club got busy it it almost seemed to create a buzz among other customers for her.
So true. It's like a child who only wants a toy when someone else is playing with it :D
Whenever my regular has been into the club I always seem in demand while he is there and after he leaves too. He spends big so anything after he stops spending is a bonus.
WestCoast101
01-16-2010, 12:08 PM
Oh its not necessarily something you can plan to have happen and it only happens in special cases. Sometimes a friendship just evolves. Believe what you want, but I am actually making this entry from the home computer of a dancer I've never done a dance with. I'm helping her BF do some stuff around her house. Does that make more of a friend or, as you say, a pest?
ok so i assume you mean with at least once dancer, presumably one you met at club but never bought dancers with,, you are on occassion are hanging at her place? So you are real life friends?
you usually talk of certain dancer friends who you stopped being a customer of, or they stopped it on their own, refuse to accept dancers from you i think you said, who you say are like close frends, or something like that, and you go to a certain club with the intention of hanging with them when they are not busy with regulars or whatever, regulars they might have low opinions of. you hang with these girls at their house too ? or is it just a club thing?.
i go probably to to at leasst at different times 8 to 10 clubs up and down the coast here overall and meet many dancers but i could never imagine hanging at a dancer house, maybe i might call some club friends if i had a name for it.j and if and when they leave the business, as some do now and then,, i know i will never see any of them again, so you think you will hang with these girls if they stop dancing too?
if you don't expect them to hang with you when they leave the business, then its really just club friends
WestCoast101
01-16-2010, 12:57 PM
Absolutely true. The cessation of dances is a consequence of the friendship, not vice versa.
This all depends on the individuals involved. For the record, most of the girls I became friendly with made it clear to me that they did not hold their dance-buying customers in the highest regard and that led me to not want to be part of that group of guys.
i know dozens of dancers in many different clubs and yes i do spend money, and contact can get high, so i guess i'm not held in high esteem as some might look at, but what you are saying is sort of catch-22, while you say there are "no universal rules" you keep mentioning how in your "observation" that stopping dances somehow permits the dancers to see you as friend, yet now you say you were friends first, and that is why dances stopped, and somehow though you were once a customer in i guess a high contact club, you still somehow avoided being held in low regard? Why would a dancer think of you as a friend and not other patrons in the club?. What do you define as "real life"? I still have a hard time believing you are really real life friends with the dancers to usually mention.. Do the dancers themselves consider you to be real life friends? I'm happy being (i guess) club friends with some girls, but I don't delude myself to think its anything more, and i pay them for dancers, slip them 20's at a min constantly if i'm hanging with them, and works out ok and its honest and has no bullshit.