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cadencetyme
03-25-2010, 09:23 PM
^Touche,lol.

Hey, If youre selling that game i'll buy it :0)

But Im not about to over analyze the custies i actually enjoy, hehehe.

The_Oceans
03-25-2010, 09:25 PM
The ones that are OTC friends approached me with the idea and always made good with the offer. The few gals that have tried to reel me in as a reg by promising OTC and then blowing me off didn't last long on my hit parade of regular dance partners...


This, times a thousand. Most friendships and business relationships (for lack of a better term) I've made through my SCing adventures have faded, just as in my other walks of life. But the ones that were the most fulfilling were the ones where the roles were clearly defined. If the relationship is strictly drinks & laps in the club, I'm fine with that. If they're willing to meet for dinner or a night on the town), that's great too.

ETA: The fun and excitement is in the grey areas...but so is the drama and eventually, the conflict.

FBR
03-25-2010, 09:39 PM
^Touche,lol.

Hey, If youre selling that game i'll buy it :0)

But Im not about to over analyze the custies i actually enjoy, hehehe.

LOL If you buy my game (didnt know I had one) you would be a first ;)

Seriously, I can see you appreciate your good customers. I would be one who would be more troublesome so that would likely put me into that 3-6 visit period and then kicked to the curb. But what memories I would have.

FBR

FBR
03-25-2010, 10:17 PM
Btw, I never told other customers about each other. That would be in bad taste.

Kelly, actually you are missing a selling tool. Speaking for myself and maybe a few other guys here who spend money, it fun to hear you point out the guy who tried to stiff you or the guy who forgot the rules when he walked into the VIP and you had to bitch slap him. Personally, I find those stories not in bad taste but fun to hear. Even though you might talk about me later, it's fun to imagine that I am superior to those goofballs.

FBR

bem401
03-26-2010, 06:12 AM
The only reason guys didn't see me more often is that by the 6th (or so) time, I'd have bounced to a different club, and didn't give them my contact information to follow up.

Well, there you go. My friends have essentially worked in one club for years without taking any significant breaks and they seem to distinguish between guys they refer to as "my customer" and guys they refer to as "my regular". I ran the question by one of my friends yesterday. Anyone who returns to the club to see her is "her customer". When the number of visits reach or approach double digits(and continue), he then becomes "her regular".

Hey, I'm only relaying what I've witnessed. I'll readily admit there are no exact defintions in the SC world. People debate on this site what constitutes an extra, what constitutes generosity, and what is or isn't acceptable. The definition of what constitutes a regular is no different.

bem401
03-26-2010, 06:28 AM
A few years ago I met a new dancer at a club. We had a great time one afternoon and I went back to see her a few days later. For about six weeks I went to see her about once a week. Then I stopped.

I was,for about six weeks, her regular, BEM. She told me so on more than one occassion. For the record, she was one of "those you know".

I'm assuming you forgot a comma after the word regular. I fixed it in the quote. Otherwise, it would appear she was calling you a "regular BEM". I don't think that's where you were going.

And to be honest with you, I'd rather be called a regular than a customer. It's more suggestive of some sort of connection, an acceptance of the guy on the part of the girl. Back in the day, I was never very comfortable being referred to or thinking of myself as someone's customer.

Phil-W
03-26-2010, 11:27 AM
It's not all that difficult to develop an honest and friendly business relationship with a dancer as long as you respect her need to earn and don't cause drama with her at the club or in her life. Sounds simple but it's amazing how stupid some guys can be when all of their blood has rushed to their little head...

It might not be difficult for you, but I've seen relatively few men who are objective enough to develop that sort of relationship.

That implies they would understand the real nature of the dancer/customer relationship and be able to gently discount any SS. In practice relatively few customers do, and hence aren't realistic about ITC relationships.

Crash and burn is distinctly more frequent.

T'was only a week ago i heard a customer talking to a dancer outside of a venue (after buying a serious number of lap dances ITC) saying "why can't I have your phone number - we can just be friends......"

Guess what answer he got?

Phil.

Kellydancer
03-26-2010, 12:22 PM
Kelly, actually you are missing a selling tool. Speaking for myself and maybe a few other guys here who spend money, it fun to hear you point out the guy who tried to stiff you or the guy who forgot the rules when he walked into the VIP and you had to bitch slap him. Personally, I find those stories not in bad taste but fun to hear. Even though you might talk about me later, it's fun to imagine that I am superior to those goofballs.

FBR

Well, I had customers like that, but none of my regulars were like that at all. Maybe I was a minority. I'm sure I may have made fun of customers who were jerks though.

Zinaida
03-26-2010, 12:33 PM
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Dude, its the same fucking thing. You truly are delusional.
Someone is a cynic...and that makes 2 of us haha! I totally agree with you. ;D

SteveSmith
03-26-2010, 01:45 PM
Its normal for regulars to only last 3-6 visits many of those visits they choose to drag out over the course of months. 3-6 is more normal for girls who dont feed into the "playing out" of customers or the flat out deceiving thing. Yes ive had a handful for longer-ive also danced 12 years now.

As far as what we want the men to think or know: the truth of the matter is that not enough men are willing to just give you money to take your clothes off in a club and pay for that time. Many customers/regulars seem to want to believe that the relationship is everything but that. It is not. Friends can happen but, reeeeeaaaally. You are paying for a service and the dancers pretend all the other b.s. because most customers wont pay the big bucks if they dont pretend its everything but them paying you to get naked and talk.

I mean how much money would a dancer make if she were like "spending time with you is worked into my monthly budget, i only care about the amount of money you spend and the shortest amount of time i can get it in AND i need to squeeze in a couple more guys like you to make my goal so tell me when youre coming in and how long how much you'll spend?" That doesnt turn most guys on, so dancers find more subtle ways to make money and line up custies. Yes, that usually consists of " i enjoyed our time together, youre so refreshing compared to these other custies... when will you be back? I look forward to it. Youre like a great friend that i have sexy fun with. you make my night great ;0)"

Most dancer/customer interaction is just common courtesy. I do and say things in my business to keep customers, too. It involves being nice to the customer and treating them like they're special to get return business. Sales 101.

BTW, I've never had a dancer say any of those corny lines to me. :D



Dancers do create fantasies. Some do it better than others. If i were a custie id leave the pink site alone and just enjoy my time in the SC,lol.

This seems to be a common dancer complaint. You say that you're creating a fantasy for the customer and you make more money by being good at it, then you complain when the customer believes the fantasy.



On a more postive note, ive noticed that the actual bar regulars/SC pros are usually pretty cool and just want a good night out w/ a hot fun girl that they can return at the end of the night,lol. I prefer a SC addict to a love lorn OR friendship starved custie.

OTOH, if the customer doesn't buy the fantasy you're selling and just wants to have a good time, then he's a cool customer.



But Im not about to over analyze the custies i actually enjoy, hehehe.

Dancers don't enjoy being with customers, you implied so in your other post. :P

SteveSmith
03-26-2010, 01:51 PM
It might not be difficult for you, but I've seen relatively few men who are objective enough to develop that sort of relationship.

That implies they would understand the real nature of the dancer/customer relationship and be able to gently discount any SS. In practice relatively few customers do, and hence aren't realistic about ITC relationships.

Crash and burn is distinctly more frequent.

T'was only a week ago i heard a customer talking to a dancer outside of a venue (after buying a serious number of lap dances ITC) saying "why can't I have your phone number - we can just be friends......"

Guess what answer he got?

Phil.

What was her answer?

Did the customer crash and burn? What exactly happened to him? Did he have to be hospitalized over that rejection? Do you think he'll ever be able to recover? ::)

rockie
03-26-2010, 03:37 PM
I'm a semi regular of about 3 different dancers at 3 different clubs. I typically get dances from more than just one dancer, but I will always take dances from specific dancer's when they are available. Since I don't make any effort to contact my favorite dancer's ahead of time - if they are unavailable I chalk it up to my unwillingness to schedule. Past "regulars" have typically retired before I've moved on. I can't count more than 10 people in life that I consider my friends. Everybody else is an acquaintances of whom I might share some friendly moments in their company. Given my view of life - I've got no friends in a strip club, but I have some friendly acquaintances who usually treat me well. Contributions to my shaking loose from past favs have included overselling a fantasy, pushing too hard to increase my contribution, or just generally trying to play mind games with malicious intentions. Longest fav - 5 years!

bem401
03-27-2010, 12:23 PM
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Dude, its the same fucking thing. You truly are delusional.

It might be "the same fucking thing" for a girl who considers a guy who comes back a second and third time a regular, but here in RI, where the dancer and customer populations don't tend to change as much as I imagine they do elsewhere, there is a difference between men the dancers consider customers and men they consider their regulars. The girls here just hold their "regulars" in higher regard than guys who are just "customers". Being called a regualr around here means more than being called a customer, but maybe its something unique to RI.

And what am I delusional about? I'm not considered either any longer, haven't been for awhile, and have no immediate plans on returning to either.

The whole point of this thread is what is the shelf life of a regular, not the shelf life of a customer. Clearly the OP distinguished a difference between a customer and a regular. Hence the terms used.

FBR
03-27-2010, 12:54 PM
Well, I had customers like that, but none of my regulars were like that at all. Maybe I was a minority. I'm sure I may have made fun of customers who were jerks though.

I think we are on the same page at the end of the day. Strip clubs are akin to alternative universes where social norms are often tossed out the window. Under every day circumstances, I would not enjoy hearing someone making fun of another person but in the club it is kind of fun to hear. Frankly, those comments tend to be ego building. I know I am the only customer getting the inside scoop on my competition. After all, I am far superior to those goofballs. I have a clue and they don't ;)

FBR

MarvelGirl
03-27-2010, 01:29 PM
A regular IS a customer. It's a classification of a customer. I was a waitress long ago and I had regulars, they still bought food and were customers.

Shoot, just last Saturday my favorite waitress at the restaurant I vist weekly referred to me as her regular to someone. I'm STILL a customer. You can be a customer without being a regular but you cannot be a regular without being a customer.

A regular who does not spend any money is not a customer or a regular, they are just one of those douchebags who hangs out in the club.

yoda57us
03-27-2010, 10:40 PM
And to be honest with you, I'd rather be called a regular than a customer. It's more suggestive of some sort of connection, an acceptance of the guy on the part of the girl. Back in the day, I was never very comfortable being referred to or thinking of myself as someone's customer.

Ah yes, the world according to BEM...

Again, if you spend money on a dancer you are her customer. If you don't spend money on a dancer you are in the way...

yoda57us
03-27-2010, 10:43 PM
It might not be difficult for you, but I've seen relatively few men who are objective enough to develop that sort of relationship.


Well, I guess that makes me special...

KS_Stevia
03-28-2010, 09:34 PM
Keep telling yourself that Bem. You're the only one who believes it.

bem401
03-29-2010, 06:32 AM
Ah yes, the world according to BEM...

Again, if you spend money on a dancer you are her customer. If you don't spend money on a dancer you are in the way...


Once again, the lack of comprehension by board members is remarkable. I was (in effect) paying you a compliment, Einstein. If the girl in question called you her regular, she was speaking more highly of you than if she just called you her customer. She was distinguishing you from her other customers. I'm neither a regular nor a customer. The comment was a generalization that had nothing to do with me. I would have thought you'd have gotten that.

And to MG, of course a regular is a customer. Where did I say they weren't? Around here, at least, they comprise a special class of customer. Your waitress friend was simply trying to pay you a compliment by calling you her regular. It implies she enjoys serving you on a regular basis.

As far as being in the way, Yoda, I'm never that. I happily step aside every time any of my friends sees a potential customer. Over the past several years, a few of my friends and I have ended whatever time we might have been spending together for that day because of the arrival of a certain self-considered SC luminary from out-of-town. In the way? I don't think so. I even point out the guys I see ogling them behind their back in case there's money to be made there. If I was in the way, I wouldn't want to be there nor would my friends want me there at all.

Phil-W
03-29-2010, 10:44 AM
BEM: simple question - do you get specifically invited to go into the SC's by the dancers?

I've long been friends inside and outside of work with a number of dancers, and what's been absolutely clear over the years is that they only invite me to a venue when there's a purpose for me to be there.

As an example, there is one venue about a 15 minute drive from me which one dancer I know regularly works at. She now drives herself to and from that venue herself and rarely if ever asks me to meet her there.

Conversely, if she wants my company at other, more distant venues (lift to/from the venue because its a stressful drive for her or stressful venue for her to work at) then she'll ask if I'm free that evening.

I'm perfectly happy meeting the dancers outside of work - and I don't feel the need to go in unless specifically requested to do so.

Phil.

KS_Stevia
03-29-2010, 04:45 PM
And to MG, of course a regular is a customer. Where did I say they weren't? Around here, at least, they comprise a special class of customer. Your waitress friend was simply trying to pay you a compliment by calling you her regular. It implies she enjoys serving you on a regular basis. l.

The lack of comprehension is your own. Just because waitress calls you a regular doesn't mean she gets an iota more enjoyment serving you compared to a complete stranger. It means absolutely nothing.

The only reason a waitress/stripper/bartender will EVER turn away business is if the customer stresses her out too much/pushes her limits beyond comfort/isn't going to be spending so why waste time.

Bem, what you need to understand is that every single stripper her, myself included has worked in clubs with ONE OF YOU AS THE RESIDENT TROLL AND GOSSIP-MONGER. Just because a few girls will chat with you periodically for gossip or a free drink doesn't mean they like you any more than customers.

Honestly, if someone I really cared for was in the club and I was having a drink and chat with them...I would not leave them for the mercy of a customer. Hence I've never asked any "REAL FRIENDS" to visit me at the club. They would get ignored, or I would hurt my own business talking to them....

Any man that a stripper sit with "until business picks up" is just a placeholder for convenience until someone purporseful shows up. Basically, you are a notch above sitting in the dressing room. Hope you're proud of yourself, "Friend" to dancers.

yoda57us
03-29-2010, 05:45 PM
Once again, the lack of comprehension by board members is remarkable. I was (in effect) paying you a compliment, Einstein. If the girl in question called you her regular, she was speaking more highly of you than if she just called you her customer. She was distinguishing you from her other customers. I'm neither a regular nor a customer. The comment was a generalization that had nothing to do with me. I would have thought you'd have gotten that.

BEM, you really need to come down from superiority mountain and stop thinking that you are so smart that the rest of us mere mortals can not comprehend your posts. I got what you said, I just don't agree with you. A regular is a customer who spends regularly. It's that simple. It doesn't mean the dancer holds him in any higher regard than any other guy who spends money on her. That does not mean that a regular's business is not appreciated but it his regular spending that is appreciated, not the man, or woman as the case may be.

Kellydancer
03-29-2010, 08:11 PM
The lack of comprehension is your own. Just because waitress calls you a regular doesn't mean she gets an iota more enjoyment serving you compared to a complete stranger. It means absolutely nothing.

The only reason a waitress/stripper/bartender will EVER turn away business is if the customer stresses her out too much/pushes her limits beyond comfort/isn't going to be spending so why waste time.

Bem, what you need to understand is that every single stripper her, myself included has worked in clubs with ONE OF YOU AS THE RESIDENT TROLL AND GOSSIP-MONGER. Just because a few girls will chat with you periodically for gossip or a free drink doesn't mean they like you any more than customers.

Honestly, if someone I really cared for was in the club and I was having a drink and chat with them...I would not leave them for the mercy of a customer. Hence I've never asked any "REAL FRIENDS" to visit me at the club. They would get ignored, or I would hurt my own business talking to them....

Any man that a stripper sit with "until business picks up" is just a placeholder for convenience until someone purporseful shows up. Basically, you are a notch above sitting in the dressing room. Hope you're proud of yourself, "Friend" to dancers.

I've never understood the idea that some men think because they spend money dancers enjoy spending more time with them. Sure SOME regulars are great guys and I enjoyed chatting with them even if they wouldn't tip me (though to be honest I wouldn't talk to them if they hadn't). I had some regulars I enjoyed, but most were just money. There was one regular who came in and I was thrilled when he came in because he was great and tipped me, not to mention he loved to give foot massages. He became an off club friend and I pray he becomes my husband and father of my children. I had a few others who were great guys and enjoyed chatting with them too. A few of these guys I may have dated had I met them in another type of business. To me a regular just meant someone who spent money on me. Actually, most of them I didn't like. Most were either guys who thought if they spent money they'd get me to go home with them, or guys who were jerks in general.

Oh and the cheapos who never tipped but expected the dancers to chat with (we all know these guys) are losers. None of these guys stood a chance to be a regular because they weren't tipping. I'm sure many of the dancers chatted with them because they thought they were a joke.

camille27
03-29-2010, 08:22 PM
:rotfl:
Congratulations on your "paper" anniversary. I hope you make it to "leather" or wood".

>>>Sad<<<

bem401
03-30-2010, 07:55 AM
BEM: simple question - do you get specifically invited to go into the SC's by the dancers?

Yes, I do. At this stage of the game, I rarely go unless I am somehow or other encouraged to stop by. Keep in mind, I have socialized (in real life), at one point or another (though not necessarily one-on-one), with nearly all the bartenders and several of the dancers. None of the girls on whose account I might be there are girls I only encounter in the club. I never lack for someone to kill 15 minutes with though I don't go in there expecting anyone to make time for me. As I've said before, I'm quite happy to see them generating themselves some income. There are plenty of others there I know and I'm only interested in spending an hour or so there. It's also by far the best place in town for me to kill an hour in the presence of people I know. It is no longer even a strip club to me. I generally have 2 or 3 standing "come by if you're not busy" invitations from a few of the girls who keep me up-to-date on their schedule. They expect nothing from me if I show up. I expect nothing from them if I show up. Some of them are girls I'd have absolutely zero interest in as a dancer even if I were a customer. It was pointed out to me last week by a patron of the club I visit who reads this site that the people reading it just don't get the way things work in RI and the situation in which I find myself is not one I devised, but one that is understandable in RI.

bem401
03-30-2010, 08:01 AM
BEM, you really need to come down from superiority mountain and stop thinking that you are so smart that the rest of us mere mortals can not comprehend your posts. I got what you said, I just don't agree with you. A regular is a customer who spends regularly. It's that simple. It doesn't mean the dancer holds him in any higher regard than any other guy who spends money on her. That does not mean that a regular's business is not appreciated but it his regular spending that is appreciated, not the man, or woman as the case may be.


OK, so referring to you as a regular is no more complimentary than referring to you as a customer. Got it. I wouldn't take it that way though. I see it as a way for her to express some appreciation for your patronage that referring to you as as just a customer would not. I think it was intended as a compliment. You apprently do not.

bem401
03-30-2010, 09:10 AM
The lack of comprehension is your own. Just ]because waitress calls you a regular doesn't mean she gets an iota more enjoyment serving you compared to a complete stranger. It means absolutely nothing.

The only reason a waitress/stripper/bartender will EVER turn away business is if the customer stresses her out too much/pushes her limits beyond comfort/isn't going to be spending so why waste time.

Once again, as I stated earlier, I don't think the posters here understand the nature of the way things work in RI. Maybe I'm too much of a RI'er but being a regular as opposed to being a customer means alot here and I'm not even applying that to the SC's. Its the nature of business in RI to cater to your regulars and deal with customers when there are no regulars around. There are restaurants in this state where regulars can show up un-announced, get a table, eat and leave, while the same customers wait in the lobby to be seated. This probably influences my interpretation of the two words.


Bem, what you need to understand is that every single stripper her, myself included has worked in clubs with ONE OF YOU AS THE RESIDENT TROLL AND GOSSIP-MONGER. Just because a few girls will chat with you periodically for gossip or a free drink doesn't mean they like you any more than customers.

Resident troll and gossip monger, looks like we're back to the name-calling, neither of which I'd be called by anyone in the club. I don't think all the girls there like me more than a customer, but its safe to assume the ones who interact with me away from the club do, though I'm sure you'll tell me I'm wrong.


Honestly, if someone I really cared for was in the club and I was having a drink and chat with them...I would not leave them for the mercy of a customer. Hence I've never asked any "REAL FRIENDS" to visit me at the club. They would get ignored, or I would hurt my own business talking to them....

That's your situation not mine. Any of the girls I might find myself sitting with know I would never expect them to forego business, know I didn't go out of my way to be there, know I know a half-dozen others in the club, and know they can call, text, or run into me later. They know me well enough to know I have no problem with them "smelling money" and going for it. If they left me or weren't even able to acknowledge me, I wouldn't feel for a second like I was being ignored.


Any man that a stripper sit with "until business picks up" is just a placeholder for convenience until someone purporseful shows up. Basically, you are a notch above sitting in the dressing room. Hope you're proud of yourself, "Friend" to dancers.

Again, this is not the basis of my relationships with the ones I consider friends. I more than realize that I'm nothing more than a "placeholder of convenience" to some girls in the club but those are not the girls I consider my friends and are not the girls on whose behalf I'm there. If the girl or girls on whose behalf I stopped by are busy, I'll kill some time with one of them (who already knows and understands exactly who I am and why I'm there). I am extremely averse to wasting any dancer's time. They know I'm not going to buy a dance from them and can choose whether to sit and talk. I'd just as soon have some of them ignore me, to be honest.

KS_Stevia
03-30-2010, 10:22 AM
Its not just RI. Club regulars exist everywhere. Really, without getting argumentative, you ARE a club regular if you show up at the same club on a frequent basis. Its not derogatory.

But you, and RI, don't have the monopoly on being a club regular. I've danced all over the world and they are everywhere. Some are liked, some are tolerated, some are abhored. I really have no idea what they all really think of you. I just don't like your passive-aggressive tone, bragging of superiority for not spending money on dancers, and attacks on my friend yoda.

But, honestly, IME, there are some club regulars I've really liked. Only thing...all of the ones I've liked have bought a dance here or there, and tipped me on stage a few times.

Ones who turn their back to the stages and sit there chatting up the bartender, are laughed at behind their backs, or so insiginficant they are basically persona non grata, unless some darama-licious dancers need them for intel.

Also, a "standing invitation" isn't an answer to Phil's question. Its not a real, specific invitation. Pretty much all strippers tell all customers to "come back anytime, I'd love to see you, I work X-X from 6-2am, etc..."

We even tell non-spenders that sometimes because there is something that happens with a stripper's mind when she walks out onto the floor. One gets into a certain "zone" when they are on, and tend to be much more polite and welcoming to men they would otherwise scoff at. I think its a survival instinct...or just something good sales people tend to do in order to always look professional and reputable.

KS_Stevia
03-30-2010, 10:31 AM
Oh, I made a mistake in an earlier post. Actually, I can think of 4 occasions when I have had IRL friends come to the club to hang out with me. I am sure there are a few more instances but those were top of my head. Each and every one of those times, I didn't even kill 1 minute of time with my friends, I totally ignored them (luck of the draw, I had to go onstage right away and got approached for dances from their, or a regular found me and wanted to spend). They had one drink and left. I felt really bad inviting people to the club to see me, so I never did it again...after 2 friends gave me a ride to work, I promised them I would buy them a drink and chill...then a fave regular caught me on the way to them, and they just got ignored.

Hence, I don't know why you feel so great to be ignored if the girls are busy. If I were one of your "friends" and invited you up, but got too busy to see you, I would make it up in other ways OTC. You will retort to me that they have, but I won't believe you.

Don't worry, I took them out for drinks later, AT A REGULAR BAR! I know there are regular bars in RI. And I don't think its different there, with the appreciation of regulars, than anywhere.

Its still 100% about the money.

bem401
03-30-2010, 11:02 AM
I define "club regular" differently than a "dancer's regular", which is what was being discussed and was in the title of the thread. I've never denied being a club regular, visiting a couple hours a week for quite some time now.

There are very few "specific invitations" other than an occasional ride or other sort of favor that needs to be done. To be honest, they don't really care if I show up if I have something better to do and I don't care if they pay me no attention if they're busy. Why would I get specific invitations when I'm not a customer?

I don't feel great to be ignored. I just don't care and I'm happy for my friends who are there first and foremost to make money. It doesn't need to be made up to me. I'm just there to kill and hour or two. If the place was a half hour from where I live, I'd hardly be there at all. Spending time away from the club isn't worth discussing but there are posters here who could call me on it if it weren't true and that hasn't happened.

I agree with you on this though, The club is 100% about the money, no argument whatsoever.

Anything you've percived as an attack on your friend has come as a response to attacks on me. Hell, I was a customer not terribly unlike him at one point.

Kellydancer
03-30-2010, 01:31 PM
I define "club regular" differently than a "dancer's regular", which is what was being discussed and was in the title of the thread. I've never denied being a club regular, visiting a couple hours a week for quite some time now.

There are very few "specific invitations" other than an occasional ride or other sort of favor that needs to be done. To be honest, they don't really care if I show up if I have something better to do and I don't care if they pay me no attention if they're busy. Why would I get specific invitations when I'm not a customer?

I don't feel great to be ignored. I just don't care and I'm happy for my friends who are there first and foremost to make money. It doesn't need to be made up to me. I'm just there to kill and hour or two. If the place was a half hour from where I live, I'd hardly be there at all. Spending time away from the club isn't worth discussing but there are posters here who could call me on it if it weren't true and that hasn't happened.

I agree with you on this though, The club is 100% about the money, no argument whatsoever.

Anything you've percived as an attack on your friend has come as a response to attacks on me. Hell, I was a customer not terribly unlike him at one point.

Bem, on many threads you keep talking about going to visit your "friends" whom you don't pay. I know this has been asked before, but are they actual IRL friends? I ask because I have one regular who became an actual friend. We've gone to the movies together, out to dinner, and he even got invited to a birthday party. He became a IRL friend who I am now in love with. However, there are a few regulars who considered me a friend though we never got together on a social capacity. They hired me for various bachelor parties, etc. This is a little more tricky since they did see me technically out of the club but never in a non stripping reason.

However, guys who didn't fit into these examples I never considered friends. Regulars? A few maybe could be considered in club friends, but once I left the club we lost contact since they were club regulars more than my regular. As for guys who never gave me money, sure a few thought they were friends, but THEY WERE NOT MY FRIENDS. I had a few actual IRL friends stop by various clubs, but I asked them NOT to tip me because we were friends out of club. I'd get them another dancer to tip.

Btw, many guys are club regulars, but are not regulars of specific dancers. At one club there was a guy who bought dances from every dancer. The dancers liked him. The guys who didn't tip anyone? None of the dancers liked them.

yoda57us
03-30-2010, 02:41 PM
OK, so referring to you as a regular is no more complimentary than referring to you as a customer. Got it. I wouldn't take it that way though. I see it as a way for her to express some appreciation for your patronage that referring to you as as just a customer would not. I think it was intended as a compliment. You apprently do not.

There are many ways that my favs show me their appreciation for visiting them, calling me a regular is not one of them. Actually, I have heard them say quite a few derogatory things about some of their regulars over the years.

There is no special RI meaning for the word BEM, a regular is just a guy who spends regularly. Any implication beyond that exists only in your head...

bem401
04-01-2010, 06:00 AM
Bem, on many threads you keep talking about going to visit your "friends" whom you don't pay. I know this has been asked before, but are they actual IRL friends? I ask because I have one regular who became an actual friend. We've gone to the movies together, out to dinner, and he even got invited to a birthday party. He became a IRL friend who I am now in love with. However, there are a few regulars who considered me a friend though we never got together on a social capacity. They hired me for various bachelor parties, etc. This is a little more tricky since they did see me technically out of the club but never in a non stripping reason.

However, guys who didn't fit into these examples I never considered friends. Regulars? A few maybe could be considered in club friends, but once I left the club we lost contact since they were club regulars more than my regular. As for guys who never gave me money, sure a few thought they were friends, but THEY WERE NOT MY FRIENDS. I had a few actual IRL friends stop by various clubs, but I asked them NOT to tip me because we were friends out of club. I'd get them another dancer to tip.



Btw, many guys are club regulars, but are not regulars of specific dancers. At one club there was a guy who bought dances from every dancer. The dancers liked him. The guys who didn't tip anyone? None of the dancers liked them.

Nearly all the girls I refer to as friends are girls I have seen in some social capacity away from the club for non-stripping reasons. I'll make a list if you want but it happens 2 or 3 times a week with the girls I know. I'm meeting one in an hour, we're gonna help each other out a bit, and several of them will be stopping by a music club I help run tomorrow night at my invitation. If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't, much like the way I react to their invitations to the club.
Many of the girls refuse to dance for me, refuse to be tipped by me, and refuse to have me get them drinks (in the SC, that is).

bem401
04-01-2010, 06:14 AM
There are many ways that my favs show me their appreciation for visiting them, calling me a regular is not one of them. Actually, I have heard them say quite a few derogatory things about some of their regulars over the years.

I thought you said you never discussed other customers with dancers, though I too have heard a multitude of derogatory things said about regulars. As far as their use of the word towards a customer, I would argue they're using it to distinguish the guy from the rest of the customers. Believe what you will.



There is no special RI meaning for the word BEM, a regular is just a guy who spends regularly. Any implication beyond that exists only in your head...

So a girl working in RI who was raised in RI and lives in RI uses the word while in RI, but the RI meaning for the word doesn't apply because you're a customer from outside RI. Got it. (I'm assuming I know who the girl was who said it, btw)

The word has certain implications to RI'ers. It may not apply elsewhere, but it does apply in this area.

yoda57us
04-01-2010, 07:06 AM
I thought you said you never discussed other customers with dancers, though I too have heard a multitude of derogatory things said about regulars. As far as their use of the word towards a customer, I would argue they're using it to distinguish the guy from the rest of the customers. Believe what you will.

Correct BEM, discussing other customers is not why I go to clubs. That doesn't mean it never happens. A dancer may be sitting with me and excuses herself to go see another reg and dance for him. She may return and say something like "what a pain in the ass he is always trying to ask me out" or "always trying to finger me" etc, etc...

Is every thought process you have a prisoner of your own tunnel vision BEM? There are very few absolutes in life. In 25 or so years of clubbing in dozens of clubs spending time with hundreds of dancers and dozens of favs and ATF's I have had many different experiences and many different conversations on all sorts of topics. I also prefer not to talk religion or politics but it happens once in a while.


So a girl working in RI who was raised in RI and lives in RI uses the word while in RI, but the RI meaning for the word doesn't apply because you're a customer from outside RI. Got it. (I'm assuming I know who the girl was who said it, btw)

The word has certain implications to RI'ers. It may not apply elsewhere, but it does apply in this area.

No BEM, the meaning doesn't apply because no one agrees with you, including dancers from RI who call some of their regulars idiots. Again, the issue here is your insistence on absolutes. Of course a gal may call a particular customer that she likes a regular but that does not mean that the word is a compliment every time that it is used.

BTW, I have no idea who you are talking about. I could take an educated guess but I don't see how it's any more relevant than usual..which is to say not at all.

Kellydancer
04-01-2010, 10:25 AM
Nearly all the girls I refer to as friends are girls I have seen in some social capacity away from the club for non-stripping reasons. I'll make a list if you want but it happens 2 or 3 times a week with the girls I know. I'm meeting one in an hour, we're gonna help each other out a bit, and several of them will be stopping by a music club I help run tomorrow night at my invitation. If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't, much like the way I react to their invitations to the club.
Many of the girls refuse to dance for me, refuse to be tipped by me, and refuse to have me get them drinks (in the SC, that is).

Then if you hang out with them outside the club, then you are IRL friends. It's just that I see many guys (not saying you do this) claim they are "friends" with dancers and when you ask them further, they either say something to the effect of "I pay them to dance for me outside the club" or "we just hang out in the club". To me neither is really IRL friends. Like I mentioned before, I had a few regulars (most are gone) that they would pay me to dance at various parties, sometimes in full clothing. I'm sure a few of these guys would consider me friends, but to me they were just regulars. Some were nice, but we didn't hang out in a personal way. The one instance I mentioned is definitely a IRL friend. In fact it's funny because we often forget how we did meet because it was over 15 years ago. He knows my family, my real name (including middle name), I know all about him, etc. Our situation is definitely more than a casual friendship, but even so it started as in club friends then progressed from there.

KS_Stevia
04-01-2010, 03:12 PM
I'm meeting one in an hour, we're gonna help each other out a bit, and several of them will be stopping by a music club I help run tomorrow night at my invitation. If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't, much like the way I react to their invitations to the club.


What does this mean specifically, to 'help each other out a bit'? Sounds like you are euphemizing something you are doing for her, and don't want it to look like she's using you.

Because inviting strippers to a regular club for music does not indicate friendship, its just self-promotion, which is fine. Also, if I invited real friends of mine to my music club, and they didn't show up, I'd actually be hurt. Aren't most people upset or offended when their true friends stand them up?

Kellydancer
04-01-2010, 03:56 PM
What does this mean specifically, to 'help each other out a bit'? Sounds like you are euphemizing something you are doing for her, and don't want it to look like she's using you.

Because inviting strippers to a regular club for music does not indicate friendship, its just self-promotion, which is fine. Also, if I invited real friends of mine to my music club, and they didn't show up, I'd actually be hurt. Aren't most people upset or offended when their true friends stand them up?

I was wondering that myself. I had a regular who started a nightclub (non stripping) and he paid me to show up. I wouldn't consider that hanging out with him, just that he wanted pretty girls to promote his business.

yoda57us
04-01-2010, 04:58 PM
several of them will be stopping by a music club I help run tomorrow night at my invitation. If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't, much like the way I react to their invitations to the club.
(in the SC, that is).

Well, are they or are they not stopping by BEM? I'm sure you think that I'm just busting your balls here but honestly, "If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't" and "several of them will be stopping by a music club I help run tomorrow night at my invitation" are two entirely different scenarios.

I mean honestly, if there are going to be that many hot Asian women in one place I may want to stop by just for the eye candy and to check out the band!

bem401
04-02-2010, 09:21 AM
He knows my family, my real name (including middle name), I know all about him, etc. Our situation is definitely more than a casual friendship, but even so it started as in club friends then progressed from there.

Knowing real names, addresses, family members, significant others, are all part of the equation in most of the friendships I am thinking of. And again, this was not something I went in planning to have happen. Several of the girls are girls I became friendly with while I was still a customer to their friend. When their friend and I became uncomfortable doing dances, it hardly seemed appropriate for them to step in.

bem401
04-02-2010, 09:41 AM
Correct BEM, discussing other customers is not why I go to clubs. That doesn't mean it never happens. A dancer may be sitting with me and excuses herself to go see another reg and dance for him. She may return and say something like "what a pain in the ass he is always trying to ask me out" or "always trying to finger me" etc, etc...

All I know is what you previously posted you never engaged in. Now, it appears you have. I hear all the same things. I even hear them before the guy shows up.


No BEM, the meaning doesn't apply because no one agrees with you, including dancers from RI who call some of their regulars idiots. Again, the issue here is your insistence on absolutes. Of course a gal may call a particular customer that she likes a regular but that does not mean that the word is a compliment every time that it is used.

She called you "her regular" to your face. That was intended to be a compliment, to reinforce whatever bond led her to say that. Its a sales tactic perhaps somewhat specific to RI meant to make the guy think (rightly or wrongly) that she thinks highly of him and really appreciates the relationship.


BTW, I have no idea who you are talking about. I could take an educated guess but I don't see how it's any more relevant than usual..which is to say not at all.

You described her as someone I know who you patronized regularly a few years ago for a half dozen visits or so. I took the educated guess as to who it was.

bem401
04-02-2010, 09:46 AM
What does this mean specifically, to 'help each other out a bit'? Sounds like you are euphemizing something you are doing for her, and don't want it to look like she's using you.

I had a merchandise certificate in a store I doubted I'd use. She had stuff in the store she had a use for. She got her items at a discount and I converted the certificate into some cash. In other words, we helped each other.

bem401
04-02-2010, 10:10 AM
Well, are they or are they not stopping by BEM? I'm sure you think that I'm just busting your balls here but honestly, "If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't" and "several of them will be stopping by a music club I help run tomorrow night at my invitation" are two entirely different scenarios.

I mean honestly, if there are going to be that many hot Asian women in one place I may want to stop by just for the eye candy and to check out the band!

I don't know if they'll be there or not. They've shown up on other occasions and love the band. Unfortunately, at least two of them were flooded out of their homes this week, so it may be hard. Others may work, other may have better things to do. Its a situation similar to when they tell me they're working. sometimes I make it in, sometimes I don't.

Unfortunately Yoda, a big Asian turnout isn't expected. I admit I was only interested in Asian dancers when I was buying dances. Nowadays the race or ethnicity of the person I'm friendly with means very little.

As far as the band is concerned, check them out. You and KS and anyone else might consider checking them out in Boston. They are phenomenal and hail from Lawrence MA. And before someone points it out, I realize the girls are coming for the band, not for me. The band gets played in and has visited the SC compliments of the guy I help out and me.

http://www.youtube.com/officialphill
or
check out "Secret Me" on the same page.

yoda57us
04-02-2010, 11:33 AM
All I know is what you previously posted you never engaged in. Now, it appears you have.

Actually what we have here BEM is you claiming I said something. If I did I did. If you are obsessed enough with me to go back and look for it be my guest. Until then it's just something you claim I posted and, as usual, you are probably applying your tunnel vision to whatever the context was when I posted it. As I said, there are no absolutes. If the best you can do is continually try and throw my own words at me to try and confuse an argument I suggest that your argument is weak to begin with.


She called you "her regular" to your face. That was intended to be a compliment, to reinforce whatever bond led her to say that. Its a sales tactic perhaps somewhat specific to RI meant to make the guy think (rightly or wrongly) that she thinks highly of him and really appreciates the relationship.

What is your obsession with things being specific to RI BEM? Have you ever left the state? It's a word used all over the world to describe a regular paying customer in all sorts of situations. It's not a gold star bestowed on a customer's forehead by the dancer. It's just a word. If I hadn't heard the same dancers (and dozens of others) call other regulars everything from perverts to butt pains your argument might have some Merritt. Since I have, it doesn't.


You described her as someone I know who you patronized regularly a few years ago for a half dozen visits or so. I took the educated guess as to who it was.

Honestly BEM I can't even figure out what you are trying to say here...

yoda57us
04-02-2010, 11:43 AM
Unfortunately Yoda, a big Asian turnout isn't expected. I admit I was only interested in Asian dancers when I was buying dances. Nowadays the race or ethnicity of the person I'm friendly with means very little.

That's good BEM. It word be weird to pick your friends based solely on their ethnicity...


The band gets played in and has visited the SC compliments of the guy I help out and me.


What's this you say? A band hanging out in a strip club? I've never heard of such a thing....

bem401
04-02-2010, 04:22 PM
1. I know what I read. I have no interest in going to look it up. If I had the least bit of obsession with you, I'd have demonstrated it to you in person last time I saw you in the club. And actually, the way to win an argument is to throw your opponent's words back at him.

2. RI is a little different than anywhere else. You've taken shots at it from time to time in various posts. I've neither the time nor the interest to go looking for the statements at this point.

3. There is a reason for each and everything a top-notch dancer says to a customer's face. Identifying you (or any other customer) as a regular face-to-face is done for a reason.

4. You (not I) implied the girls attending tonight's show would be Asian. I was merely setting you straight.

yoda57us
04-02-2010, 06:05 PM
1. I know what I read. I have no interest in going to look it up. If I had the least bit of obsession with you, I'd have demonstrated it to you in person last time I saw you in the club. And actually, the way to win an argument is to throw your opponent's words back at him.

Not when you are making up the words BEM.


2. RI is a little different than anywhere else. You've taken shots at it from time to time in various posts. I've neither the time nor the interest to go looking for the statements at this point.

The English language is the same everywhere BEM. I've taken plenty of shots at RI, what does that have to do with your failure to comprehend a simple fact?


3. There is a reason for each and everything a top-notch dancer says to a customer's face. Identifying you (or any other customer) as a regular face-to-face is done for a reason.

LOL, your full of crap but thanks for trying to educate me, you being an expert and all...


4. You (not I) implied the girls attending tonight's show would be Asian. I was merely setting you straight.

I implied nothing BEM. I asked a question based on a statement you made about your dancer friends being invited to your club. One thing I can rest easy about is that there is no topic of relevancy here on strippeweb that I could possibly need you to set me straight on.

KS_Stevia
04-03-2010, 10:53 AM
Bem, I wish you and the girls the best of luck in recovering from the flood. It happened to my house and it really sucked. Get dry soon! :)

bem401
04-03-2010, 10:55 AM
I've grown tired of this thread. You debate issues about as well as some of my students. You make comments and later deny that you made them. My time is too valuable to continue in a "did not - did too" thing with you. You have commented that you don't engage in certain kinds of conversations with the girls. You did leap to the conclusion that Asian girls would constitute my friends at the show. You insist on denying both and insisting that you know more than a RI'er on how things work in RI when you don't live here, you just patronize our adult establishments. Maybe this happens because you post all over the place and consider yourself some sort of expert or luminary on every topic you weigh in on. I'll grant you this: when it comes to getting wrapped up in paying for attention, being a sex industry customer, or brown-nosing anyone without a Y chromosome, you know a lot more than me and could write a book on it.

Let's just end this now or continue it one-on-one the next time you come down here to have someone scratch your itches.

bem401
04-03-2010, 11:07 AM
Bem, I wish you and the girls the best of luck in recovering from the flood. It happened to my house and it really sucked. Get dry soon! :)

Thanks for your wishes, KS. I came out OK. One house just a couple of wetvac buckets. The other had 6 inches in the basement but that's happened before. Two of my friends were evacuated. One has a basement apartment and she told me the water was higher than the foundation which means her apartment was 100% water. Another had a first floor apartment in one of the worst hit areas and was expecting the worst but has been kept out for 3 days now. My neighborhood saw a dam break, emptying the pond and flooding the parking lot and first floor of another friend's apartment house a quarter mile away. Fortunately she is not first floor and her car was parked high enough by chance to keep dry.

I didn't think MA got hit that hard. Was it that bad in alot of places or are you just very close to RI? BTW, my understanding is the Warwick Mall still has 2 ft of standing water and not the first clue as to when they'll be able to re-open..If you're presently underwater, I hope it doesn't take too long or too much money to get back to normal for you.