View Full Version : Shelf Life of a Regular
KS is way too smart to get involved with an ass-kissing stripper suck-up like FBR...Alas, I can dream!}:D
Ha! I'll take some boob pics but KS is way too ex-stripper crafty for me. I will worship her from afar. I believe you are in a better place than us other junkies...which I think is cool ;D
FBR
yoda57us
04-18-2010, 09:09 AM
Who the hell brags about LACK of boobs in the face? :O
Well, that would be the same guy who goes to strip clubs and doesn't watch the stage, buy dances, tip anyone or even acknowledge that the women in the club are naked...
Admittedly, he's no dancer's (or club's) target demographic...::)
bem401
04-19-2010, 05:42 AM
Well, that would be the same guy who goes to strip clubs and doesn't watch the stage, buy dances, tip anyone or even acknowledge that the women in the club are naked...
Admittedly, he's no dancer's (or club's) target demographic...::)
No, it would actually be a guy just making the point that the place is no longer a strip club to him.
I do agree though, I no longer fit any dancer's target demographic, like that's something to be proud of. They think so highly of their target demographic.
bem401
04-19-2010, 05:57 AM
Not thousands in a single visit you idiot. You are the one who talked about my decades as a customer. I have easily spent thousands on any of several dancers that I have been a regular of for anywhere from five to ten years. Why do you care? It's not your money...
Two points:
#1. Re-read my post, Einstein. I was talking about the individual visits of the dozens of custies who commute in and do that, not you. However, you, in typical narcissistic fashion when it comes to strip clubs, think the comment relates to you. They spend hundreds per visit, coincidentally an amount you've given yourself credit for spending.
#2. It takes you 5 years to "easily spend thousands" on a regular? Shit, I can think of at least a half dozen girls I spent a few thousand on apiece in the couple of years I was an active customer.
Tdonuts
04-19-2010, 06:19 AM
******yawn****
wake me up when this is over....
yoda57us
04-19-2010, 06:23 AM
******yawn****
wake me up when this is over....
Hey, you started this...;)
yoda57us
04-19-2010, 06:43 AM
Two points:
#1. Re-read my post, Einstein. I was talking about the individual visits of the dozens of custies who commute in and do that, not you. However, you, in typical narcissistic fashion when it comes to strip clubs, think the comment relates to you. They spend hundreds per visit, coincidentally an amount you've given yourself credit for spending.
It's all about context BEM. You say it then deny it but the context doesn't lie...
#2. It takes you 5 years to "easily spend thousands" on a regular? Shit, I can think of at least a half dozen girls I spent a few thousand on apiece in the couple of years I was an active customer.
Again, pointless nit-picking. It could have been 5 years, it could have been 5 months. I never said it took me x amount of time to spend x amount of dollars, only how long I have been visiting and spending on some ladies. You try argue with me as if you are solving math problems BEM but there are no absolutes contained in my statements.
Frankly, I don't understand why a guy who babbles endlessly about not spending money on strippers is suddenly so concerned with what others spend.
Dancers, customers and even bar flies like you are all people, not problems to be solved. You yourself fall into a gray area in regards to men who go to strip clubs. You have spent an awful lot of time here on a strip club board trying to convince the rest of us that you have a reason to be there that doesn't involve spending any money. Why do you even care? If you are so much more mentally evolved than us heathens who actually enjoy strip clubs for what they are why do you even log on to this site?
Tdonuts
04-19-2010, 07:02 AM
Hey, you started this...;)
I guess I did, didn't I?
I suppose I should have been much more specific in my question. (ie- define: regular)
I'll know better next time.
yoda57us
04-19-2010, 07:20 AM
I guess I did, didn't I?
I suppose I should have been much more specific in my question. (ie- define: regular)
I'll know better next time.
There was nothing wrong with your question T. You got a lot of good responses. When a thread goes off topic (which is really not rare on any message board) it's generally because the poeple who are going to respond to the topic already have. Most threads run out of gas in a week or two. The ones that don't have usually been side-tracked.
bem401
04-20-2010, 06:48 AM
\
Again, pointless nit-picking. It could have been 5 years, it could have been 5 months. I never said it took me x amount of time to spend x amount of dollars, only how long I have been visiting and spending on some ladies. You try argue with me as if you are solving math problems BEM but there are no absolutes contained in my statements.
I'm just responding to what you write, pointing out the contradictions and inconsistencies, as you try to portray yourself as the quintessential custy.
yoda57us
04-20-2010, 07:11 AM
I'm just responding to what you write, pointing out the contradictions and inconsistencies, as you try to portray yourself as the quintessential custy.
The yoda obsession rages on...
Tdonuts
04-20-2010, 07:12 AM
...portray yourself as the quintessential custy.
At least he's a CUSTOMER while he's at the club.
bem401
04-20-2010, 07:17 AM
At least he's a CUSTOMER while he's at the club.
Been there, done that, . . .
bem401
04-20-2010, 07:20 AM
The yoda obsession rages on...
I think "yoda's obsession rages on" is more apropos.
Tdonuts
04-20-2010, 08:03 AM
Been there, done that, . . .
So...if we're going to get off topic. I would like to be the one to derail the post. So here's a follow up question to the origional post-
Ladies, while you are at work, would you prefer to have "customers" or "friends" visit?
lol...I think we all know the answer already
yoda57us
04-20-2010, 08:06 AM
I think "yoda's obsession rages on" is more apropos.
LOL, well, you would think that BEM but I'm not the one who spent months asking dancers and barmaids if they knew who yoda was and when the last time was that they had seen him. For all I know you may still be doing it but I've switched to nights now so I don't see most of the people you used to ask anymore.
Your arguments are so weak here that you keep trying to point out "inconsistencies" that don't exist. You can not turn anecdotes into absolutes BEM, not even with an Ivy League education. Life is not black and white and neither is most of what we talk about here. I'm posting on a web site about my experiences in strip clubs, not writing a doctoral dissertation. LOL, the only reason I keep taking shots at you is because you love the attention you get here so much that you just can't stop embarrassing yourself and stay away...
bem401
04-21-2010, 05:33 AM
So...if we're going to get off topic. I would like to be the one to derail the post. So here's a follow up question to the origional post-
Ladies, while you are at work, would you prefer to have "customers" or "friends" visit?
lol...I think we all know the answer already
One of the dumbest questions yet. Of course it customers. I've maintained that from the onset and expect (and in fact suggest) that the women I'm friendly with ditch me the minute they sense an opportunity to make some money. Again, I'm just there to kill an hour, not to occupy anyone's time.
bem401
04-21-2010, 05:52 AM
LOL, well, you would think that BEM but I'm not the one who spent months asking dancers and barmaids if they knew who yoda was and when the last time was that they had seen him. For all I know you may still be doing it but I've switched to nights now so I don't see most of the people you used to ask anymore.
Your arguments are so weak here that you keep trying to point out "inconsistencies" that don't exist. You can not turn anecdotes into absolutes BEM, not even with an Ivy League education. Life is not black and white and neither is most of what we talk about here. I'm posting on a web site about my experiences in strip clubs, not writing a doctoral dissertation. LOL, the only reason I keep taking shots at you is because you love the attention you get here so much that you just can't stop embarrassing yourself and stay away...
Months? Me doing the approaching? I've brought your name up to 2 dancers, one whose name you gave me, in years of visiting clubs. Bartenders, customers, and dancers have brought your name up to me in an attempt to determine who makes all the insipid posts on that other site I rarely visit.
As far as the arguments go, I'm not the one who has to go back and qualify or explain what I meant in previous posts.
yoda57us
04-21-2010, 06:54 AM
Months? Me doing the approaching? I've brought your name up to 2 dancers, one whose name you gave me, in years of visiting clubs. Bartenders, customers, and dancers have brought your name up to me in an attempt to determine who makes all the insipid posts on that other site I rarely visit.
Ya' right...
As far as the arguments go, I'm not the one who has to go back and qualify or explain what I meant in previous posts.
Odd you would say this since you are the one doing all of the explaining...to me and to other members of the forum.
But of course this is the part you don't get BEM. I don't have to qualify or explain anything. I said what I said when I said it. If, three weeks later, I say something different, well, OK I said something different. No one else seems to notice it, comment on it, or care...
The fact that you feel the need to dissect my past posts at all is, in itself, obsessive behavior. I've been around internet forums for well over a decade and I swear I've never had another forum member anywhere spend as much time as you do trying to figure out a way to throw my own words back in my face. Well, it doesn't work BEM, it never works. We all post opinions here and opinions are fluid. That's just the way life works whether you like it or not. You seem to have a desperate need to find something, anything, to criticize me on here on a forum where you really have nothing to contribute beyond "being a customer doesn't work for me anymore" and "my dancer friends refuse to take my money".
Everyman
04-21-2010, 07:25 AM
I'm just there to kill an hour, not to occupy anyone's time.
Not to cross swords, but if this is true, and you're not there to occupy anyone's time specifically, or generally for the naked ladies, why not just kill an hour at a bookstore? Or a library? Or a restaurant? Or, it's really nice this time of year, a park?
KS_Stevia
04-21-2010, 07:38 AM
Exactly, Everyman. How fucking boring would it be to sit in a TITTY BAR..and not take advantage of neither the TITTIES nor the BAR part of it?
Basically, you are just sitting in a smoky room listening to Nickelback at full blast, staring at a stained wall. That's kind of my idea of hell, ya know?
I have 3 goods friends who work in the strip clubs around town. Sometimes I've gone to visit them, have a drink with them before their shift starts, play a little poker (poker dealer at one club is my buddy and let's me play for free). So I, like you, have often gone to the club to kill time. Yes, I'm also a chick and former stripper, but still...
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bring enough money to tip several girls on stage, buy my friend a drink, and get either myself, or my guests, a lapdance. To me, that's the minimum modicum of respect for patronizing such a business.
And yes, these girls are my friends and I don't see them as objects to pursue sexually. Doesn't mean they aren't still super HOT STRIPPER CHICKS that give good lapdances. It makes me feel great to start off their evening with a drinkie, a lapdance, and a couple of bucks stage tip just for being cute.
I know that when I stripped, and my night got started off well like that, it was usually a good money night..whether the money was given to me by a custy, friend, or regular..doesn't matter.
All I'm saying is...if you are spending time sitting in the club, what are you getting out of it exactly? Because I also go to the SC to see my friends, and I'd feel like such a dirt bag if I went in there, didn't spend any money at the bar, and didn't tip or buy at least a single dance.
And if I did this multiple times a week? Holy hell..that's a new level of self-loathing! :'(
yoda57us
04-21-2010, 08:00 AM
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bring enough money to tip several girls on stage, buy my friend a drink, and get either myself, or my guests, a lapdance. To me, that's the minimum modicum of respect for patronizing such a business.
Exactly, I like your use of the word "respect" because that's really what it boils down to. Even when I was broke right after my ex and I split last year I never showed up at a club without drinking money, stage tip money and, with one exception, enough cash to buy a few LD's. Years ago I did the "broke guy in a strip club" routine and quite frankly it's boring as hell...
I can't imagine anything more rediculous than being surrounded by hot scantily clad women and not taking full advantage of it. Of course, I'm an un-evolved, ass-kissing stripper suck-up so I guess I have no one but myself to blame...::)
KS_Stevia
04-21-2010, 08:27 AM
Actually, when I'm on a sobriety kick, I try to avoid bars all together, unless required to for a professional function. Nothing drives my alcoholic mentality crazier than being surrounded by delicious booze and not being able to partake.
Same goes with the SC. If I can't get some boobies waggled in my face and a few faux-compliments on my hotness...then I'm just sitting in a dark, sleazy bar drinking overpriced tap water, being IGNORED.
bem401
04-22-2010, 06:15 AM
Not to cross swords, but if this is true, and you're not there to occupy anyone's time specifically, or generally for the naked ladies, why not just kill an hour at a bookstore? Or a library? Or a restaurant? Or, it's really nice this time of year, a park?
As I originally said, I'm looking to kill an hour. The club is closer than any bookstore, library, or park, not to say I don't also visit those places when the urge strikes me. The club just happens to be the most convenient place where I can kill an hour in the presence of people I'm friendly with. The position I'm in is not entirely of my own doing. The 3 or 4 girls I'm friendliest with have no interest in engaging me as a customer. What should I do? Pay someone I have no interest in to lavish me with their attention or go to another club?
And again, dude, I go once or twice a week for about an hour a vist. Unless there's something engaging on the TV or one of my friends has no prospects in sight, I'm not one to stick around. To stretch out a visit under other circumstances would be boring.
Everyman
04-22-2010, 06:56 AM
As I originally said, I'm looking to kill an hour. The club is closer than any bookstore, library, or park, not to say I don't also visit those places when the urge strikes me. The club just happens to be the most convenient place where I can kill an hour in the presence of people I'm friendly with. The position I'm in is not entirely of my own doing. The 3 or 4 girls I'm friendliest with have no interest in engaging me as a customer. What should I do? Pay someone I have no interest in to lavish me with their attention or go to another club?
And again, dude, I go once or twice a week for about an hour a vist. Unless there's something engaging on the TV or one of my friends has no prospects in sight, I'm not one to stick around. To stretch out a visit under other circumstances would be boring.
Bem, I have completely been in your position. I've been friends with strippers (still am) and seen them in the club without pay because I wasn't a "customer". Regardless of how they feel about it (I could speculate on and on about how they feel, but you'd just refute me and every dancer has her own individual reaction anyway), let me just say this.
When a man goes to "kill an hour" in a strip club with a stripper friend without being a customer and paying her, one of two.things is true:
(1) He really does want to see her naked & sexy and knows he won't get this IRL;
(2) He wants more of her time (even if clothed & chaste) as a "friend" than she will give him in IRL (i.e., a friend or connection imbalance).
And probably both.
bem401
04-23-2010, 06:18 AM
Bem, I have completely been in your position. When a man goes to "kill an hour" in a strip club with a stripper friend without being a customer and paying her, one of two.things is true:
(1) He really does want to see her naked & sexy and knows he won't get this IRL;
(2) He wants more of her time (even if clothed & chaste) as a "friend" than she will give him in IRL (i.e., a friend or connection imbalance).
And probably both.
Apparently you haven't been completely in my position. I'm not there to kill an hour with anyone specific unless I'm responding to a texted request to stop by. For example, I'll be there today at some point if time permits. Three or four of my friends generally will be there on a Fri afternoon, but there are a half-dozen others I'm familiar with who'll be there. If my friends are there, fine. If not, fine. If they have time to say hello, fine. If not, fine, I'll just sit and talk with the bartender or whoever and watch TV till I finish my drink, thus "killing an hour".
If I wanted to see them naked, I'd just go to the stage when they were there for that purpose, but that would certainly throw a wrinkle into the relationship I have with any of them to do that, to act like a customer towards them. Only one of them has ever done any kind of dance for me (stage, VIP, or CR) in the years I've been visiting, and she's refused to do that for at least a couple of years now. She's the only one of the four that ever got my attention as a dancer in the first place. The others just became friends.
And trust me, if I wanted more of their time, for whatever reason, it wouldn't be their time at work I'd be after. I'd be wasting their work hours unnecessarily by doing that, and that is not at all what I am about.
KS_Stevia
04-23-2010, 07:41 AM
I thought you used to be a real regular to several girls and would get lapdances and CR from them. Now, your story has changed again..and only one girl there you patronized, and not with dances? Get your story straight man.
bem401
04-24-2010, 11:37 AM
I thought you used to be a real regular to several girls and would get lapdances and CR from them. Now, your story has changed again..and only one girl there you patronized, and not with dances? Get your story straight man.
My story hasn't changed a bit... All the girls I was ever a real regular to have either retired from dancing or moved out of state except the one girl I referred to. The other girls I am now friendly with in the club are girls to whom I've never been a customer, let alone a regular.
Phil-W
04-25-2010, 01:44 PM
If I wanted to see them naked, I'd just go to the stage when they were there for that purpose, but that would certainly throw a wrinkle into the relationship I have with any of them to do that, to act like a customer towards them.
If you weren't a little bit titillated by their nudity, you wouldn't go to the club - you'd confine your interactions to outside the venue.
If you're with a dancer in a strip club, it's just about impossible to avoid catching a glimpse of her naked in one way of another. I and the girls I'm friendly with accept that. But they also know if I see them nude (and it does happen) it's more by accident than design.
Please don't tell me you don't catch glimpses of them naked - I just won't believe you....
Phil.
bem401
04-25-2010, 02:26 PM
If you're with a dancer in a strip club, it's just about impossible to avoid catching a glimpse of her naked in one way of another. I and the girls I'm friendly with accept that. But they also know if I see them nude (and it does happen) it's more by accident than design.
Please don't tell me you don't catch glimpses of them naked - I just won't believe you....
Phil.
Where did I post anything contradictory to this? I'm well aware they are topless when they are onstage. I pay essentially zero attention to the stage as seats at the bars face in every direction except towards the stage. I have admitted visiting the stage when my friends are being ignored or ogled by non-tippers though the attention I get when doing that hardly qualifies as a stage dance by RI standards.
Do I catch glimpses? Like you said, its nearly impossible not to. I avoid it as much as possible, though. Awkwardness would certainly arise if I engaged in typical stage dances with the girls I'm friendly with. A typical stage dance here generally involves breasts all over the guy's face and he can let his hands do a little wandering as well. My friends would rather not engage in that with me.
thatguy6673
04-25-2010, 04:11 PM
"Where did I post anything contradictory to this? I'm well aware they are topless when they are onstage. I pay essentially zero attention to the stage as seats at the bars face in every direction except towards the stage. I have admitted visiting the stage when my friends are being ignored or ogled by non-tippers though the attention I get when doing that hardly qualifies as a stage dance by RI standards. "
Smoove non customer covers his eyes when strippers be showing the tittays!
"Do I catch glimpses? Like you said, its nearly impossible not to. I avoid it as much as possible, though. Awkwardness would certainly arise if I engaged in typical stage dances with the girls I'm friendly with. A typical stage dance here generally involves breasts all over the guy's face and he can let his hands do a little wandering as well. My friends would rather not engage in that with me. "
Whey dont' you wear a blindfold? Then you would never accidentally view your 'true special palatonic friends' in a sexual manner- what an 'awkward Rhode Island situation'! Imagine that happening is a titty bar!
Wait. then you couldn't sit on stripperweb all day and talk shit about how much a of a 'special friend' you are to your 'special friends' and how you are a special platonic intellectual friend to the hot strippas. And put down 'lowly customers' that aren't delusional tools following around strippers in 'oh so special outside of the club platonic relationships'.
Nobody is impressed with your passive aggessive puppy dog act.
thatguy6673
04-25-2010, 04:19 PM
Also, it cracks me up that someone who 'isnt' a customer anymore' and 'thinks strip club customers are losers because dancers say so' and 'is only platonic friends with tha hot strippas' spend so much time on this forum and has 1,414 posts! why don't you go to church and help your 'special friends out with special platonic friend favors that friends do for each other' instead of acting like a 'morally superior' tool on this forum?
yoda57us
04-25-2010, 05:12 PM
OK, I admit it. I went to BEM's club of choice (and one of my favorites) last night and, just for fun, I conducted a little social experiment. It was about half an hour before my fav was due to arrive for her night time shift and, since I had no interest in any of the women on the day shift, I decided to try and pretend that I wasn't in a strip club for a little while...
Ordered a drink-paid $5 for a bottle of water and tipped the barmaid $2. Would I pay $7 for a bottle of water in a regular bar? No, yoda fail...
I went to the men's room-A tall woman wearing black underwear and 7" heels smiled and waived at me as I walked toward the restroom. OK, admittedly I didn't stare straight down at the floor as I walked across the club so I guess I didn't try hard enough not to notice the color of said woman's underwear or how nice and bouncy her tits were. yoda fail...
Went to piss, there was a condom in the urinal. Would this happen in a regular bar? No. Not my fault this time but, nevertheless, yoda fail...
Left the men's room and had to wait at the door as two half-naked women passed in front of me. I looked at them and smiled. I tried to look down and walk back to the bar but girls on stage caught my eye since they were naked and pretty and I'm not gay. Again....yoda fail....
I got back to my seat without buying a dance or tipping any of the girls at the stage. A dancer approached me and I looked at her. Damn! yoda, fail again...
I tried, I really did...but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't NOT notice or enjoy the fact that I was in a strip club surrounded by hot nearly naked and naked women...
Is there a 12 step program for this sort of thing?
"Hello, my name is yoda and I'm a...a....a healthy heterosexual male....
:grouphug: Hello yoda!:grouphug:
bem401
04-26-2010, 06:01 AM
So a healthy heterosexual male is a fifty-something, 300lb+, now-divorced hobbyist who drives 50 miles by himself each way on a Saturday evening, something he's done regularly for decades, to pay women for attention and to feign interest in him? And then brag about it on the internet?
Somehow, that's not the type of healthy heterosexual male I think anyone would aspire to be.
You were there to partake in what a stripclub offers and to get whatever itches you have scratched. If one is not there for that reason, it isn't all that hard to block things out, especially when you are already acquainted with most of the girls in the place at that time.
yoda57us
04-26-2010, 09:26 AM
So a healthy heterosexual male is a fifty-something, 300lb+, now-divorced hobbyist who drives 50 miles by himself each way on a Saturday evening, something he's done regularly for decades, to pay women for attention and to feign interest in him? And then brag about it on the internet?
Well BEM, your fact checkers are a bit off...
I'm not divorced, I'm separated.
Not that my looks matter since I am paying for lap dances, not entering a beauty contest, but I've been under 300 for a while now. When was the last time you where confused for a GQ model?
What do you do on Saturday nights? What makes it better than what I chose to do?
I've only been driving to Providence regularly for about one decade.
No one "feigns interest" in me BEM. I pay, they dance, I leave. My favs all know very well that phony-baloney crap doesn't fly with me. The one's who try to BS me are the ones who get kicked to the curb...
Somehow, that's not the type of healthy heterosexual male I think anyone would aspire to be.
LMAO! What would you know about what anyone would aspire to be?
Phil-W
04-26-2010, 10:26 AM
Awkwardness would certainly arise if I engaged in typical stage dances with the girls I'm friendly with. A typical stage dance here generally involves breasts all over the guy's face and he can let his hands do a little wandering as well. My friends would rather not engage in that with me.
Bem,
Awkwardness arises from being in the club in the first place - which is why I don't appear unless specifically invited. I can only tell you of my experiences with a limited number of dancers, but a basic requirement of my friendship with them is my demonstrable lack of interest in going into venues unless it suits them.
Dancers - in my experience at least - prefer friendships with guys who are not habitual visitors to SC's. You go in (as far as I recall) a couple of times a week - or 100 visits a year. That's pretty habitual.
If you want to be friendly with dancers, do it as far as possible outside of work. I spent Saturday afternoon in a riverside pub with a dancer. We had a few glasses of wine and a good old chat. Which to my mind is far more entertaining than going in to see her at work - where she doesn't want me most of the time anyway.....
Phil.
Kellydancer
04-26-2010, 10:34 AM
I am completely confused now. If one truly was interested in someone as a friend and didn't care to see them topless/nude, and didn't buy dances and not interested in seeing strippers why would they go to a strip bar? Where's the logic in that? Makes little sense to me.
So a healthy heterosexual male is a fifty-something, 300lb+, now-divorced hobbyist who drives 50 miles by himself each way on a Saturday evening, something he's done regularly for decades, to pay women for attention and to feign interest in him? And then brag about it on the internet?
Somehow, that's not the type of healthy heterosexual male I think anyone would aspire to be.
You were there to partake in what a stripclub offers and to get whatever itches you have scratched. If one is not there for that reason, it isn't all that hard to block things out, especially when you are already acquainted with most of the girls in the place at that time.
That's exactly the type of customer any dancer wants, the paying kind. I couldn't care less what a customer looked like as long as he paid me. I wasn't sleeping with him or anything sexual so looks didn't matter. The type we hate? the customers who refuse to tip because we are supposedly his "friend". I've heard guys use that as an excuse and that's what it is. Like I said earlier I have exactly one guy I actually call a friend that I met dancing. We've gotten together many times out of the club and even he knew that if he was in the club the girls wouldn't talk to him unless he was paying, friend or not. Btw, he didn't become a off club friend until after I left because I thought that was weird.
yoda57us
04-26-2010, 10:38 AM
I am completely confused now.
Trust me Kelly, you are not the one who is confused. :)
bem401
04-27-2010, 06:00 AM
Bem,
Awkwardness arises from being in the club in the first place - which is why I don't appear unless specifically invited. I can only tell you of my experiences with a limited number of dancers, but a basic requirement of my friendship with them is my demonstrable lack of interest in going into venues unless it suits them.
Dancers - in my experience at least - prefer friendships with guys who are not habitual visitors to SC's. You go in (as far as I recall) a couple of times a week - or 100 visits a year. That's pretty habitual.
If you want to be friendly with dancers, do it as far as possible outside of work. I spent Saturday afternoon in a riverside pub with a dancer. We had a few glasses of wine and a good old chat. Which to my mind is far more entertaining than going in to see her at work - where she doesn't want me most of the time anyway.....
Phil.
You missed my point, Phil. As I said, I'm not in there to see anyone in particular. I generally only acknowledge them as I enter and and go sit elsewhere. I only join them at their initiative or if I see them sitting with other dancers. I do not interfere with their attempts to earn. Sometimes all I get is a nod hello if they're working a customer. I pay zero attention to them on stage. I'm sure one of the reqirements (though we've never discussed it) of my friendships with them is my general lack of interest in the place as a stripclub and specific interest in them in them as dancers regardless of how habitual my visits may be. And speaking of the habitual visits, none of them see me there twice a week, more like twice a month, maybe one of which they actually spend time with me.
You are correct though in saying its best to be friendly with them outside of work. It is far more entertaining and enjoyable and I engage in that on a regular basis with a handful of different ones. If they didn't want me there (and again I'm not there to see anyone specific) , they'd make it clear. A couple years ago, one girl I spent time with away from the club actually did and I avoided being there when she was scheduled so as not to make her uncomfortable.
And again, after visiting the club for 8 years, this is where I find myself, and it seems to work for my friends and me. If for some reason it stopped working, believe me, adjustments would be made immediately.
bem401
04-27-2010, 06:27 AM
That's exactly the type of customer any dancer wants, the paying kind.
I wouldn't argue this point at all. All my friends are constantly on the lookout for paying customers. I am not there to take up a minute of the time they could spend making money off such guys. I'm there to kill an hour of my free time, nothing more. If that coincides with some of their "down time", so be it. If it doesn't, that's actually better for them. Unless they requested me to stop in, they don't owe me a second of their time or an apology or explanation for not spending some of it with me. I've had some girls try to apologize for being too busy to spend time with me during my hour or so there. I've given them the same explanation I just gave you.
KS_Stevia
04-27-2010, 09:37 AM
I only join them at their initiative or if I see them sitting with other dancers.
OMFG, that would piss me off so much dude. If I'm sitting in the club with another dancer, I'm likely working out a strategy to sell to a customer in the club, or maybe having a private moment with a girl friend. If a fucking MAN custy came up to me just to bullshit and waste my time, I would be livid. If you're a man in a stripclub, and you see two dancers sitting together, you'd better be:
1. a paying customer
2. someone who works there who has an operational reason to speak to me.
Wow, your gall is unbelievable and now I'm pretty sure you are bordeling harrassing these girls. I completely understand why you would be banned.
When you come into a person's place of business...you fucking WAIT for them to approach and invite you to sit with them, you don't just walk into their office, take a chair, and start chatting with them, not knowing if they are about to have a client in or a meeting to occur.
So fucking rude and disrespectful. I am truly floored. You have just revealed your entire hand with that comment dude. Everything I suspected is the truth. :-[ >:(
Phil-W
04-27-2010, 11:46 AM
You missed my point, Phil. As I said, I'm not in there to see anyone in particular. I generally only acknowledge them as I enter and and go sit elsewhere. I only join them at their initiative or if I see them sitting with other dancers.
Bem - I haven't missed your point.
If you're not going in to see anyone in particular, you're definitely not going in by invitation. You're going in the hope that the dancers you know will be willing to talk to you.
I'm sure one of the requirements (though we've never discussed it) of my friendships with them is my general lack of interest in the place as a strip club and specific interest in them in them as dancers regardless of how habitual my visits may be.
If you don't have an interest in the place as a strip club then why do you go in?
I'm friendly with dancers who don't welcome interest in them in the professional sense - and they're made it gently obvious that that only includes me going into venues when they specifically ask me to do so.
You are correct though in saying its best to be friendly with them outside of work. It is far more entertaining and enjoyable and I engage in that on a regular basis with a handful of different ones.
Then you have an easy solution. Socialize with them out of work and tell them you'll only come in when texted.
If they didn't want me there (and again I'm not there to see anyone specific) , they'd make it clear.
Bem - you keep saying you're not there to see anyone specific. Which just makes the point that you're going in the hopes of finding a dancer that'll talk to you, not because they've asked you to be there.
It's patently obvious that you're titillated by the nudity and that's the reason you find excuses to go in.
Simple experiment for you - tell these girls that you'll only come into the club if they text you and ask.
You know what I think the results will be......
Phil.
Kellydancer
04-27-2010, 01:26 PM
I wouldn't argue this point at all. All my friends are constantly on the lookout for paying customers. I am not there to take up a minute of the time they could spend making money off such guys. I'm there to kill an hour of my free time, nothing more. If that coincides with some of their "down time", so be it. If it doesn't, that's actually better for them. Unless they requested me to stop in, they don't owe me a second of their time or an apology or explanation for not spending some of it with me. I've had some girls try to apologize for being too busy to spend time with me during my hour or so there. I've given them the same explanation I just gave you.
I'm still trying to understand this logic. There are times I have an hour or two to kill and I don't go to strip clubs, nor does it even cross my mind. I find many other things to do instead. Places I enjoy going, but according to you you don't even enjoy going to the club. Forgive me for asking again, but if you don't buy dances, don't really look at the dancers, and your friends are too busy to visit you, what's the purpose of going? I had male friends who would come into clubs I worked in but these were friends long before dancing and they would spend money on other girls (I didn't feel comfortable taking their money). At one club I had my one friend I met there, and yes I would spend time with him but he would give me money in the club because he knew the rule.
I don't get this at all, I really don't. Not trying to pick on you, but there are many places where I have friends, doesn't mean I'm going to go there to visit them when they may be busy.
DEE_K
04-27-2010, 02:34 PM
OMFG, that would piss me off so much dude. If I'm sitting in the club with another dancer, I'm likely working out a strategy to sell to a customer in the club, or maybe having a private moment with a girl friend. If a fucking MAN custy came up to me just to bullshit and waste my time, I would be livid.
Agreed. There are a couple customers like this at my club and they piss me off to no end. They have deluded themselves into thinking they are friends with a couple of the girls and just wander on up when we are trying to have a conversation and butt in. It is so incredibly rude!!!
But even they at least occassionally buy dances. I know a few girls are polite with them for that reason, for me the occassional $60 is not nearly enough to make me put up with the endless chatter about their boring life or asking questions about my life which is none of their business! Every club has a few of these, and I will never understand how they don't realize how annoying they are.
Note: this is not referring to guys who are actually friends with girls and come in because they were invited, just the delusional guys.
Everyman
04-27-2010, 03:36 PM
This has turned into quite the boring thread.
Kellydancer
04-27-2010, 03:56 PM
Agreed. There are a couple customers like this at my club and they piss me off to no end. They have deluded themselves into thinking they are friends with a couple of the girls and just wander on up when we are trying to have a conversation and butt in. It is so incredibly rude!!!
But even they at least occassionally buy dances. I know a few girls are polite with them for that reason, for me the occassional $60 is not nearly enough to make me put up with the endless chatter about their boring life or asking questions about my life which is none of their business! Every club has a few of these, and I will never understand how they don't realize how annoying they are.
Note: this is not referring to guys who are actually friends with girls and come in because they were invited, just the delusional guys.
Is it just me or does every club have these guys? These guys come in almost everyday, most of the time sit at the bar, and claim they are there to "visit the bartender" or "wanted a drink". Couldn't they have gone to another club? Yet I couldn't begin to think about how many thought we were "friends" because they were regulars (of the club, not girls).
KS_Stevia
04-27-2010, 05:05 PM
I've gone to bars when my bartender friends are working, many times. But I'm there to drink, and I pay for those drinks. Usually those bartenders let me drink for free or a deep discount and I always give them huge fat tips for it.
Then again, I'm a hot chick so having me in someone's bar tends to be a good thing.
If you're going in there and bugging the bartender and just buying one bottle of water, believe me, you are NOT friends with the bartender, you're just there, and he/she is stuck behind the bar wishing you weren't.
Right?
And the final thing...if I were friendly with bartenders/strippers at a strip club and had an hour to kill..its something MAYBE to do once a month. 2-3 times a week is officially pesky and means you need a hobby, for serious man. If you are spending 3 hours a week at a titty bar and you've only spent $3 on a bottle of water...NO ONE is happy that you are sitting there.
Why owners/management don't ban these guys is beyond me. Oh wait, Bem has already been banned twice. He's like this fucking dandelion bush in my backyard. I kill it, comes back. I make peace with it, the thing grows as tall as I am and starts killing the other plants. The only thing that works is to douse it in Roundup and pray for any living thing that comes near it until it dies.
Oh wait, ok, one last thing. Bem claims to be the expert on customers because his dancer friends bitch to him about them. However, Bem, being the purpatrator, there is NO WAY you would want to hear what the dancers, managers, and bartenders have to say about the likes of you. Believe me...IT IS WAAAAAAY WORSE!
bem401
04-28-2010, 06:24 AM
I agree with Everyman on the point this is getting boring.
Look, for the umpteenth time, I stop by once or twice a week when I have an hour to kill. If my friends had a problem with that, they'd make it known, if by no other means than ignoring me when I was there or having nothing to do with me away from the club. That has never happened. If a week or two go by and I've not seen or heard from them, I'm likely to hear from them. Apparently, some here just don't get that. The in-club interaction is meaningless to both parties and takes a back seat to their work and our RL interaction. The nature of the relationships is not something I conjured up and forced upon anyone. Its just where things ended up by mutual agreement. Hey, when one of my friends decided dances were 100% off-limits, I was a little disappointed initially. I'll admit it.
If they're sitting with another dancer, I might join them, just like other dancers might join us if its just the two of us sitting together. Interrupting them while they're devising a strategy? WTF. Its a strip club, not rocket science. My friends don't need to collaborate with other dancers on how to make money.
As to the person who said she wouldn't kill an hour or two of her free time in a SC- of course not! You work there. I wouldn't spend my free time doing what I do for a living either.
As I said, I'm there only to kill time, perhaps with one of the dancers, bartenders or other staff I've interracted with away from the club. Perhaps not. I have essentially no use for anyone in the club I don't already know. It doesn't mean I'm anything but polite to them but I really couldn't care less what they do, think, or say about me or anything else for that matter.
KS_Stevia
04-28-2010, 10:20 AM
If they're sitting with another dancer, I might join them, just like other dancers might join us if its just the two of us sitting together. Interrupting them while they're devising a strategy? WTF. Its a strip club, not rocket science. My friends don't need to collaborate with other dancers on how to make money.
You can't speak for your friends because you are not a female stripper and you don't really know how the game works. Girls at work sit together ALL the time for strategic reasons. Sometimes its to make themselves look available to any potential custy walking in.
When I am working, I want to work. If I am sitting pretty at a table with another girl, I am waiting for business to drum up. If a bar troll walked in and plopped his fat ass into the seat next to me, the paying custy walking in will think I am unavailable. Your friends are being polite, they are obviously nice girls. But if it were me, I would get up and walk away to another area of the club if you came over and sat down unsolicited.
So would many other dancers, I've seen it happen, I've done it.
DEE_K
04-28-2010, 10:34 AM
I've heard bar trolls use that same type of reasoning, that they just want to talk during my "down time." But yes, if it is so slow that I have down time then at least let me look available. Customers wanting to talk to me for free who don't spend money on me are annoying to me period, even if they may otherwise be interesting. My line of reasoning is that I am at work, my attention is a service I charge for, and they are just trying to get it for free. I always get up and walk away, and when they ask me why after trying to join me for a few weeks, I politely explain this. I will not chat for an hour in the hopes of a few dances later on, when the club is busy and I could find another less anoying customer anyways.