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Amareth
03-07-2010, 10:07 AM
Dear Ex,

I know you're not like the guy before you and won't go all stalkerish like he did but I still don't want to talk to you. I know I hurt but you're being melodramatic about it, just think through some of the shit you said to me before I made you leave, that you couldn't see yourself ever being with anyone else and I was the only thing keeping you sane, how could that not scare me off! Sorry, but you turned a little creepy towards the end there.

Also stop trying to sound all reflective and mature, if you were half as mature and wordly as you think you are you would've paid me back the money you owed me, in fact you never would've borrowed it in the first place. Also you wouldn't have lied and tried to tell me what you thought I wanted to hear. I know it was BS when you said you didn't think differently because of my job, I know you resented me for earning waaay more than you and you thought it was an easy job. I also know you lied about not having future plans for us that went far beyond what I wanted.

Sorry but we were never going to work out, should've ended it ages ago but you should be thankful it's done now instead of after we went to Australia. Also stop trying to guilt me over the fact you can't refund your plane ticket, the money I've let you off paying me back was more than the ticket cost so I feel no guilt about it.

In short grow up and move on. Stop acting like an emo teenager. I know you've had a tough life but if anything that should make you toughen up and act like a man, not a scared little boy.

Sincerely,
- A

princessjas
03-07-2010, 10:09 AM
Dear cuz,
If you don't answer your phone like right-fucking now, Imma kick your ass! I've got a 4 hour drive and have been looking for you all morning! Oh, and you missed the party to end all parties last night. Like the kind of party people tell stories about 50 years later. Being a raging slut doesn't always pay off.
Angrily
L

Dear Cheat Lake,
I'm really sorry about all the commotion last night. We really didn't plan on so many peeps showing up. The party just sorta happened, so don't be all pissy and keep blowing up Jamies phone. It was really a bunch of us girls laughing our asses off that caused all the trouble. Oh, and we weren't THAT messed up! It's a heated pool and there are big outdoor heaters everywhere on the deck and roof! Lighten up!
L

ArmySGT.
03-07-2010, 11:06 AM
Dear Karma,

I know I haven't always been good, but thanks for letting me cash in on a rental house. seriously the place is awesome with a garage and a yard big enough to garden in with sun all day. I can afford it too, so I am not sorry for the ones dangled in my face that may have been good enough. You have given me the opportunity to use what I need. Hopefully I still have some good karma in the bank.

Paul

rubyredlipsss
03-07-2010, 01:34 PM
dear body,

can i poop already?? it's causing a headache. also, quit giving me so much anxiety, shaky hands are not fun, especially when im trying to put mascara on and poke myself in the eye. it's like you want to hurt myself. on a positive note, thanks for allowing me to eat whatever and not have to exercise to have a banging body.

lovingly yours,
r

dear 'dear thread',

sorry for talking about poo all the time. also you rule.

that's all,
r

pixierocksonthepole
03-07-2010, 02:41 PM
Dear me,

Yeah...you. Stop being so lazy. Start moving around more. I want my nice tush back to the way it was. Thanks.

~myself and I

firemaiden04
03-07-2010, 04:10 PM
Dear Cold,

Go away. Please. You cost me a week and a half of work and like 5 boxes of Puffs Plus with Lotion. Every morning when I wake up, I feel like I would rather die than give that first nose-blowing because it's hell. Did you and my period decide to sync up and destroy me? Why now? Where were you a month ago, when this would have been perfect timing? I hate you. Go away.

-Alaina

JayATee
03-08-2010, 01:42 AM
Dear Self-

Stop. Breathe. You're better than this, you know you are. You're more than this, you know that too. I have no idea why you're hell bent on beating yourself up over things that you know in the end you don't even want to change (yes, you really don't want to change them despite the tricks your mind plays every now and then). Stop crying over the past. The future is all that matters and no one ever got anywhere doing what you're doing to yourself. Yes it hurts. Yes it sucks. And yes, you'll get over it. Tap into the strength you know is there (and that you've relied on your whole life to get you through this kinda shit) even though you feel drained and empty. It's the only way to keep moving forward.

Fake it til you make it... pretty soon you won't have to fake anything anymore.

Lovingly,
Your Self

mediocrity
03-08-2010, 03:03 PM
Dear Gordon Ramsay,

YOU ARE MY HERO. I don't think I could have watched anything or anyone more therapeutic these last two sick days. I am so calling someone at work a wombat this week. Clone yourself and marry me.

....Even though you hate vegetarians.

Yours in sardonicism,

M

firemaiden04
03-08-2010, 04:31 PM
Dear Ex,

You've got issues, buddy. I figured out pretty quick in our relationship that you thought yourself infallible. But I was talking with my best friend last night, and I realized what sums you up pretty well. You are great at playing politics. You are manipulative. You never answer a question directly; you beat around the bush and give these "tactical" responses that sound great at first, but then I realize you never came close to answering the question. And you do that with EVERYONE in your life. You do it with your parents, your friends, your girlfriends, coworkers, everybody. That's no way to live, honey. And after dealing with you for two years, I am now very insecure about my own communication skills. I am a very matter-of-fact person. I like having all my cards out on the table. I'm not secretive or manipulative or any of that. So normally, I would just ask Jon where we stand. But after dealing with you and your constant put-downs about my communication, I am terrified. The thought of bringing that up with him literally makes my stomach clench into knots. And I hate that you made me feel insecure about ANYTHING that is natural for me.

Oh. And you say you never let me listen to Nine Inch Nails around you because it reminded you of a time when you were miserable and blah blah blah, and it caused all these issues for you. Um, why the FUCK would you even CONSIDER dating a girl with a fucking NINE INCH NAILS TATTOO if it bothered you so fucking much?!! And men are supposed to be good at logic. Ugh.

You've got a nasty wake-up call waiting for you, darling. And it's going to make you fucking miserable.

Cheers,
Alaina

You Know Me
03-08-2010, 06:20 PM
Dear Gordon Ramsay,

YOU ARE MY HERO. I don't think I could have watched anything or anyone more therapeutic these last two sick days. I am so calling someone at work a wombat this week. Clone yourself and marry me.

....Even though you hate vegetarians.

Yours in sardonicism,

M


Gordon is my hero...i think i have seen every episode at least twice

whirlerz
03-08-2010, 07:15 PM
Dear former friend:
I guess you're quite surprised that I not only quit calling, but also blocked your #. I finally woke up & realised you've been using me, & don't care, regardless of what you say. I firmly believe that years of letting you abuse me have not only taken their toll on me, but set me up for a major fraud I had the poor sense to fall for.
Anyways, I'd told you several times I was extremely busy, you know the hours I put in, plus taking on another venture, in addition to looking for a 'regular' job. I think the thing that helps me stay away from you best is the fact I will not call you on general principal, even though I have unlimited calling, I won't use my phone, my dime, & my time to call you, considering the aforementioned things. I guess you're so used to me paying for everything it just seems to go without saying that I should be the one to call. Also, it's really freakin' rude to put someone on hold & leave them there without ever getting back to them when you get another call. Not to mention when I called you on Xmas eve, &, after me talking for a few minutes, (knowing you weren't listening) abrubtly cutting in & saying, "Oh, I gotta go to **'s house. Why the f*ck could'nt you have said that in the first place?! &, anyway you could'nt give me a few extra minutes of your time on a holiday, when I'm alone here, w/o any family? I mean, how many freakin' times did I come to your aid? Like when I picked you up & drove you around when you were being mistreated, or took you to medical care, or bailed you out on various things more than a few times. Hey, whatever, you had a good run, see ya, I'm done with people like you, forever.

dtxgirl
03-10-2010, 10:32 AM
Dear Mom,

Please start to take care of yourself. I know you're depressed and you've stayed in that godforsaken hellhole where I grew up and left as soon as I could, but I've tried to give you other places to go for the last 10 years. Please listen to me when I tell you I have business contacts for you if you would only stop being afraid of success. Please go to the doctor and find out what's wrong so you don't end up like your friend who died of ovarian cancer cause she refused to believe something was wrong. Please listen to your only effing child for once because I really am trying to help you.

Frustratedly,

D.


Dear people who don't respond to my emails cause you're in the "I'm too cool to work with anyone else" Clique:

You aren't that cool. You may have talent, and artistic vision, but so do 8 BAZILLION OTHER PEOPLE who don't have your attitude. Wait 'til you get to a bigger market and you try to pull your 'tude on people who have influence. Remember the thing about being nice to everyone on the way up? yeah. Read that again.

Feeling slightly stabby and waiting for this to bite you in the ass,

D.


Dear friends that I am not as close with because of dancing,

I'm sorry. I just don't trust you enough to not tell what I do to support myself. I know we're not as close as we were before stripping. I just didn't want a ton of people to know, because I know how people talk and how small this world really is.

Feeling moderate remorse,

D.



Dear True Friends,

Thank you for being there for me, for not judging me, for coming to see me when it was slow and for keeping my ass out of trouble. :-)
I love you guys. You loaned me money to get my life to the next step and I am immensely grateful. I'm working on paying you back every day. And I'm sorry that the other thing didn't work out. I just couldn't do it. So thanks for not holding that against me.

You guys are awesome and I hope you find what you're looking for,

D.

Wow, that was therapeutic.

whirlerz
03-10-2010, 11:07 AM
That was really great, dtx! I can relate about telling ppl stuff, I don't talk about what I do either.

whirlerz
03-10-2010, 11:19 AM
And..

Dear Property 'Mgrs':
Yes, I put mgrs. in quotes cause well, calling y'all mgrs is like b.s., k? Please don't try to pull your half a** crap on me this coming season, like pushing me to do repairs no one else has to do, it's not a selective country club here, & you're all shady skeeves, I don't care how many Lexus/fancy trucks/etc. you have. I CAN'T wait for you all to get bitten in the ass!
My 2 doors down neighbor:
B*tch please, quit giving me your damn dirty looks, I've been nice to you, & now just civil. For some reason, maybe cause you 'work' in the prop. office (yes that's in quotes too, since you panicked when I asked you to change the paper in the copier). You're so fooling yourself that the skeeves care about you, it's just you're another source of $.

sxcbbw
03-10-2010, 04:15 PM
Dear people on facebook,

If you are going to put photos of me on your profile, could you keep the ugly ones off? Jesus Christ, when I take photos I only upload the nice ones, not EVERY DAMN PHOTO FROM A NIGHT OUT. Ladies I have some nasty ass photos of you blitzed off your faces, please don't make me use them.

Yours,
UGLY ENOUGH AS IT IS.

Jessie_tinydancer
03-11-2010, 03:14 AM
dear body,

can i poop already?? it's causing a headache. also, quit giving me so much anxiety, shaky hands are not fun, especially when im trying to put mascara on and poke myself in the eye. it's like you want to hurt myself. on a positive note, thanks for allowing me to eat whatever and not have to exercise to have a banging body.

lovingly yours,
r

dear 'dear thread',

sorry for talking about poo all the time. also you rule.

that's all,
r

Dear Ruby,

Thanks for talking about poop all the time. I am serious. The word "poop" always makes me laugh. Yes I have the sense of humour of a 4-year old. South Park Terrace and Phillip is a pretty accurate description of Canadian's in my mind.
:heartbeat

Jessie

rubyredlipsss
03-11-2010, 04:40 AM
dear jessie,

i'm glad you have the sense of humor of a 4 year old too and the word "poop" makes you laugh too. i thought i was the only one out there...who easily cracked up when a joke involved poop or the usage of the word.

love,
ruby

mediocrity
03-11-2010, 05:47 AM
Dear dude I went out with-

You are SINGLEHANDEDLY the worst kisser I have ever encountered. And the long licks up my neck?? WTF?? I know you're young, but I can not see you when J is out of town anymore because I'd have to retrain you from the lips up and I am not a saint.

GET SOME TECHNIQUE.

Disgusted, yet full of pity-

M

Jessie_tinydancer
03-11-2010, 06:28 AM
Dear Me,

Challenging yourself was the best thing you could have ever done. You should be proud of yourself! Who knew you could ever reach this state of happiness? Now before you go start freaking out and convincing yourself you're bipolar and on some ridiculous high, remember you are a hypochondriac and don't start googling shit or I will kick your ass. Can't you just enjoy anything for once without thinking there is something wrong? Geez biatch get with the program!

Me love you long time,

Moi

Athenathefabulous
03-12-2010, 04:43 AM
Dear stripclub DJ,

was it really too much to ask to remember to announce my birthday when I was on stage ? When I said, "it's my birthday can you somehow work that so I can milk more tips out of these men," I meant at least mention it. I've hears it done for other girls and I have always overtipped, even on my bad nights.

Well from now on, expect the bare minimum. Even when I make over a grand, which I promise will happen several times, I will slowly count out 15 singles just for you, and not a dollar more. Sound harsh? Well you shouldn't have forgotten the first rule of dealing with women- never forget a girl's birthday unless you want to be subjected to a long and unreasonable grudge. Especially when you are reminded in the beginning of the night and money is involved.

-Athena.

Dear friends who remembered my birthday better than my parents,

it was really great to hear from you guys. Especialy the ones from Jersey who I haven't talked to in a couple of years. I know I have been gone and am terrible at maintaining contact, but I still love you guys. Talking to some of you today reminded me that you guys were basically my family during some darker parts of my life. I will try to drop by this summer.

I love and miss you guys,
-H

firemaiden04
03-12-2010, 01:39 PM
Dear Ex,

Done sulking yet? No? Wow, you're a tremendous pussy. I hope you don't think I'm going all crazy not talking to you, and that this is some sort of punishment for me. Cause I'm waaay too busy fucking Jon to think about you much. Except the occasional, "WOW, Jon is so much better at this than Noah was." Or the occasional, "WOW, I have so much more fun with Jon than I did with Noah." And I just know exactly what you're doing...you're sitting alone in your brand-new Brooklyn apartment, barely unpacked, filthy kitchen cause you never learned how to clean properly, laundry everywhere, walking around in your pajama pants and T-shirt, making your business calls. Except on weekends, when you'll decide to put on some of your designer jeans and a shirt you think is just the hottest thing ever (it isn't), and you'll put some product in your hair and go out, and honestly believe you're the hottest thing at the club. You aren't, by a longshot. So the next time you decide to teach me some weird sort of lesson (haven't figured out what the lesson is about yet; you want me to appreciate our ex relationship more? What's the point?), make sure I'm not too busy with the perfect guy for it to be effective. Moron.

Jon,

Last night was beautiful. The cuddling was so intense I started shivering all over, and then the quickie was just icing on the cake. And you're right, you're truly an excellent shopper. Thank you for not getting all pissy and moody, and sitting in the boyfriend chair with a glower, trying to find someone to talk to on your phone so you look like Mr. Important. You are incredible.

firemaiden04
03-12-2010, 04:14 PM
Dear "Turbo" Tanning Bed,

Fuck you. Seriously, FUCK YOU. I didn't know it was free tan week when I went in. I didn't know it was a free upgrade for members. I didn't know they were going to put me in you, instead of my regular bed. I DID know I hadn't tanned in several weeks, so I couldn't stay in for long. I didn't know the girl who set it up was a moron, and forgot that they'd just replaced the bulbs. I didn't know that the seven minutes she recommended would be so absolutely awful.

So now I am beet red on my back, ass, thighs, and calves--but only where my skin was flush against the bed. I don't know if I've ever been burned that badly in my life. And it's such a fucking god-awful shape I'm debating if I should even go into work tonight. It looks bad. Really, really bad. And I'm sure it will start hurting any minute now. So, seriously, FUCK YOU.

pixierocksonthepole
03-12-2010, 08:55 PM
Dear sleeping pills,

you never seem to fail me. and without you i have to be incredibly exhausted to fall asleep. but unfortunately you dont do enough to keep me asleep that i have to wear ear-plugs and a sleeping mask. then its complete. how would i get any real rest without you glorious things? ^_^ thank you ...for being there.

~looking for some great sleep

p.s.i would like it if you were a tad stronger ~_^

ArmySGT.
03-13-2010, 01:24 AM
Dear KinFolks (a bar in Manitou Springs, CO),

I have enjoyed your pub in the past. I like that you have "Arrogant Bastard" on tap, some thing of which I have been described.

What I did not like is your bartender "Jessica". It is cool that she is an educator, and one from a non traditional school such as a "Montessori" school. What I did not like is her "cutting me off" because I am not a Democrat. "Diversity" look it up.

I can find many ways not to agree with some one ,without resorting to degrading names, or punitive measures. Apparently "Jessica" cannot comprehend other ideologies.

In the future I will simply call the Manitou Springs Police Department and share with them the pictures of under age girls washing the glassware. While I thought it was cute and character building, I recognize it is the 'letter of " the Law.

While "Jessica" may be able to curb my enjoyment of your establishment at certain times, I am sure you know "reason' when you see it.

Paul.

Athenathefabulous
03-13-2010, 07:06 AM
Dear feet,

Thanks for making me $1100 last night.

considering a pedicure,
Athena

ArmySGT.
03-13-2010, 08:54 AM
Dear feet,

Thanks for making me $1100 last night.

considering a pedicure,
Athena


Dear Strip Club DJ,

Did you see that? She made $1100, keep that in mind as she counts out 15 singles because you are full of yourself, don't know that strip clubs are to make money, and forgot her birthday. Keep the change.

Stay classy!
Paul

mediocrity
03-13-2010, 09:02 AM
Dear feet,

Thanks for making me $1100 last night.

considering a pedicure,
Athena

Dear feet,

Get thee to NOLA. JD's been asking you for awhile- just do it and get it over with. Procrastinator.

Always,

M.

leyah
03-13-2010, 12:36 PM
Dear Mr Walmart,

Why is that you built your stores with 26 lines but only keep 3 open everyday of the year except Xmas? I mean really, when I want to buy toilet paper and sudafed at 12am, why should I have to wait in the 10 items of less line for 25 minutes while a lady with a cart full of shyt, seperates her items and let all of her kids purchase 10 items each until her cart is empty. And Mr Walmart, why is it that I bought a pack of candles last weekend and when I got home and opened it, one of the candles had already been burnt? How did this happen?

Phew....that felt great!

Jessie_tinydancer
03-13-2010, 05:26 PM
Dear Alcohol...

You suck. Now excuse me while I go spew.

xo

Jess

You Know Me
03-13-2010, 06:38 PM
Dear Mr Walmart,

Why is that you built your stores with 26 lines but only keep 3 open everyday of the year except Xmas? I mean really, when I want to buy toilet paper and sudafed at 12am, why should I have to wait in the 10 items of less line for 25 minutes while a lady with a cart full of shyt, seperates her items and let all of her kids purchase 10 items each until her cart is empty. And Mr Walmart, why is it that I bought a pack of candles last weekend and when I got home and opened it, one of the candles had already been burnt? How did this happen?

Phew....that felt great!

I quit those bastards many years ago. I hate fucking walmart.

Dear walmart,

Why do you use child labor
Why do you open in a small town that has no chance of supporting you only to shut down mom and pops that have been around for decades and then you decide to leave, while the town now has to drive 30 miles to get stuff.
FUCK YOU and your nasty cheapass shit

SINCERELY and with all my HEART

YKM

Athenathefabulous
03-14-2010, 07:08 AM
Dear 17 yr old version of me,

You know that tattoo above your bum that everyone said you will regret? Well, the were wrong. I know when you got that you had no intentions of it literally paying off, but it does. i promise. You will make wayyy more than the 25$ spent on it back. Props to you on a ballsy tattoo decision.

Gratefully,
the 22 yr old version of me

JayATee
03-14-2010, 02:18 PM
Dear Ex-

Did throwing the new girl in my face make you feel better? Do you feel like a big man now? Did you notice I didn't even flinch and that the smile (whether it was genuine or not you'll never know) stayed perfectly in place? I hope you feel like the ass you are after that little demonstration. And I hope this poor girl wakes up and realizes before it's too late what you really are. She'll never be me. And you my darling are hopelessly obsessed. Good luck with all that.

-J

Dear Self-

STOP drinking. Just stop. This isn't helping anything. You're turning into an alcoholic and you know it. STOP IT NOW.

Sincerely,
Your Liver

rubyredlipsss
03-17-2010, 12:28 PM
dear manager,

FUCK YOU! and your spider leg looking stash (trim that shit you pervy looking fucker). thanks for letting a little aggression out on you by boxing your shoulder when you knew i was pissed off but grabbing me and holding me into a tight hug and then groping my ass. TOO FUCKING FAR, yeah i told you let go and you didn't, so don't act like you own me and then give ME shit when i wouldn't let you feel all up on me. you deserved to be cussed out and called out on your pervy shit. now you're all butt-hurt cause i don't want you or to flirt with you, i already deal with enough assholes. also a big thanks for basically firing me, considering you won't let me work your shifts, which is all the nights except the middle of the week.

i'm leaving your retarded ass club where i dont get molested by management...oh and great management move, firing one of your top earners on fri/sat night. so again, A BIG FUCK YOU.

hoping you get it up the ass with something sharp and splintery,
R

Amareth
03-18-2010, 11:35 AM
Dear V,

Thanks for being the most awesome manager I've ever worked with. It's so great working for an ex-dancer who actually understands the other side of the bar and makes sure the dancers are treated with respect and kept safe. I'm really going to miss working there and being able to stay back three hours after we close just to drink, chat and wind down after a shift.

I really hope you and K manage to make it to Australia to visit me and that your plans to leave the UK work out. If I ever open my own SC I'd definitely sponsor you to come over! On that note I really appreciated it when you offered to sponsor me to stay and if I weren't so homesick might've taken you up on it.

You've got a great little club and I honestly don't think I'll ever enjoy working somewhere else as much as did with you and the girls. Also thanks for standing up for me when things went sour between me and G even though you've known him way longer, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he acted like a twat. I know you've spoken to the bouncers about not hitting on all the girls, especially the new girls that start, but I think you really need to be more strict on that, I'm suprised it's not caused more problems than it has. Other than that you've done a fantastic job.

Will miss ya! Sincerely,
-A

ArmySGT.
03-18-2010, 04:49 PM
Dear 17 yr old version of me,

You know that tattoo above your bum that everyone said you will regret? Well, the were wrong. I know when you got that you had no intentions of it literally paying off, but it does. i promise. You will make wayyy more than the 25$ spent on it back. Props to you on a ballsy tattoo decision.

Gratefully,
the 22 yr old version of me

Dear you with the awesome tattoo,

They are on tour this year.

Wed 09 Dallas, TX - Superpages.com Center
Fri 11 Houston, TX - Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
Sat 12 San Antonio, TX - AT&T Center
Mon 14 Denver, CO - Comfort Dental Amphitheatre
Wed 16 Albuquerque, NM - The Pavilion
Thu 17 Phoenix, AZ - Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Sat 19 San Bernardino, CA - San Manuel Amphitheatre
Sun 20 Concord, CA - Sleep Train Pavilion
Tue 22 Auburn, WA - White River Amphitheatre

contemplating a screen name to the Trooper.

Yours.

Victoria669Jones
03-18-2010, 04:59 PM
Dear Stripperweb

Thanks for brightening up my day with amusing stories. ;D

V xxx

ArmySGT.
03-18-2010, 05:05 PM
Dear Karma,

I am most pleased to be in your good graces. A promotion at work? I can really use it, there is so much I need to accomplish. I know it won't happen till the guy that has the job moves on, but that can be any time really since he only needs to pass those two exams then becomes a CPA. I really only took this job to tread water and wait for the economy to get better. Is this where I should stay? I realize the company is huge, and international. This is still considered a bottom rung job but, it will be my second promotion in six months. The best part I will be expected to have a brain and respected for that, this always makes me happy.

There are some in the company that will not be pleased. Though I can point out that they did not get the promotion through their own actions AKA their fault. If someone offers you a little more responsibility take it. Its often a test. I understood that, and got the promotion. Work ethics, have a good one. I can't understand the people that are always late, cut corners, dodge responsibility, and bad mouth the company in front of their supervisor. I. Don't. Get. It. Work like you were the customer paying the wage. I treat it like I was my own employee. One promotion, and another significant one on the way. I have my Dad to thank for this and may just send him a letter to tell him so soon.

Dad always said "Do it right the first time." over, and over again. Now it makes sense.

Thanks Karma! I am excited about the future now!

Paul

dtxgirl
03-18-2010, 09:01 PM
Dear anyone who knows what 12/25/1975 is....


:highfive:


And particularly that it seems that someone here has a tat about them. Double high five.

pixierocksonthepole
03-18-2010, 09:08 PM
Dear me,

stop being annoyed. just go get your hot chocolate and sip the irritation away.

thanks.

myself

JayATee
03-19-2010, 12:56 AM
Dear C-

It's been years, and yet it feels like yesterday. I've missed you. Thank you for such a wonderfully relaxed evening. I haven't been this calm in well over a year. I look forward to spending more time with you.

-Me

whirlerz
03-19-2010, 09:45 AM
Dear neighbor down the way:
F*** off, already. You're pissed cause I won't even say hi? Remember when you used to 'accidently' get in front of my car, like EVERY time you saw me driving (carefully) by?
Oh, & a note to you, it's RUDE to keep asking someone ?'s after they've patiently explained numerous times that THEY DON'T WANT to talk about it! Besides the fact that's it's none of your damn biz!
Oh, & the other 2 nimrods next door, you both have $, so what, you still live in a trailer park? Wow, what a reward.
Oh, & uh, nice move, putting an advanced central air conditioning system on a freaking 30+ yr old trailer! Why not just throw your $ in a bonfire, dumbass:O

princessjas
03-19-2010, 10:29 AM
Dear Universe,
Thank you for giving me my life back. I didn't know how badly I really wanna be here till I thought I only had a little while left. They were sure it was cancer and BAD, now it's gone? Talk about putting everything in perspective.

Also, major thanks for letting me heal so fast and feel so kickass just 2 days after surgery! Now, would I totally be fucking-up if I went for a run tomorrow? maybe just a little walk? : )

Gratefully
L

P.S. I promise not to waste anymore of this awesome life I've been granted! It rocks!!

mia_fey
03-19-2010, 11:05 AM
Dear Weather,

Thank you for finally warming up. I was about to go bonkers under all of the snow we got this winter. Now I get to enjoy Stripper Web while sitting out on my deck :)

Love,
M.F.


Dear Car,

Why did you decide to stop going in reverse? Do you know how much it costs to fix you? Sorry bub but its looking like I'm going to have to dump you for a new ride.

Sadly,
M.F.

rubyredlipsss
03-19-2010, 12:19 PM
dear ex and the new girlfriend,

you and your new girlfriend are fucking crazy. you've been talking to me off and on for the past five months after we broke up but never mentioned you had a girlfriend so when you webcam with me and then lie about not having a girlfriend or not having one if i come visit, when you live with her, and tell me that i'm one of the most important people in your life and you've never loved anyone more, makes me think you're truly a psychopath. i know we had our ups and downs but now i'm glad i punched you when you pissed me off, cause now i know what truly an asshole you are.

and to the psycho girlfriend: really? you sign onto his account and pretend to be him and talk to me and then accuse me of trying to destroy your relationship. he told me he was still single and we were just friends anyway. I LIVE IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY LIKE 9000 MILES AWAY? ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB?! you two deserve each other. thanks for revealing his true personality to me cause i'm officially done and i feel great because of it. and have fun being the rebound girl with a guy who has serious women issues.

thanks and good luck you weirdos,
R

firemaiden04
03-19-2010, 01:15 PM
Dear Jon,

I saw you on your bike when I was just on my way home from tanning. And good fucking god, you were so hot I'm surprised I didn't stop my car in the middle of the intersection and get out to ravage you. GOD. Just looking at you gets me wet. Why aren't we in my bed? RIGHT NOW? You can bring the bike.

-Alaina

whirlerz
03-19-2010, 01:39 PM
Dear Jackass p/u truck driver
They're called EMERGENCY vehicles for a reason! Duh, you pull over when you see one, even if it's the opposite side of the street. Thanks for making me sit there blocked, luckily I could at least angle out of their way.

whirlerz
03-19-2010, 01:50 PM
And..
Dear ebay buyer,
Yeah, I desparately wanted to 'rip you off' by charging you like 10% of the item's value, then you bitch about some minor flaw I missed. I made a mistake, SORRY! I did contact you, but you blew me off. You could have at least given me a chance to correct it. Yeah, what a gyp, you got like a 100.00 item for less than 10.00, (with a tiny flaw). Wahh.
And,
Dear **,
It's considered socially acceptable, to at least shower & brush your teeth, ugh!
And you wonder why I ignored your like 10 emails for days, wtf.

fast tan77
03-20-2010, 06:00 PM
Dear S:

I saw an ugly side of u an I hated it. You said some nice things but you said and did some mean and hateful things to me. Not sure I can forgive you.

D

Get Hot Lingerie
03-20-2010, 11:01 PM
Dear Husband, I love you and think you are great but please help out a little more. I am going to school, trying to get our business off the ground, and taking care of our son. I could really use your help with the vehicles and the house. I do not see why I should have to paint the ceilings and do all the house repairs too. I also do not see why you cannot check the oil, water, transmission fluid in your own darn car.

It is so nice to watch you read a book or play the playstation. I would love to have four or five free hours a day to do things I enjoy. I know you work 29-34 hours a week.

Your loving wife.

Dear Type 1 Diabetes ,
Please go away. You are too expensive and time consuming right now. I hate checking my blood sugar 7 times a day at a $1 a pop. Or how about the infusion sets and reservoirs for my $5000 insulin pump at $400 a month? Or the insulin at $150 a bottle? Or the five different specialists that I must see every month because of it? I am glad that you did not get my kidneys completely but geez.

Then I have to measure my food too. Why did you screw with my pancreas that used to take care of all this:'(.

And exercise, foot checks, skin checks, eye checks on top of everything else? You took away all my freedom. I mean even one drink or one cut could screw me up and land me back in the intensive care.

The worst part is you take my life away slowly with all the problems you cause if not strictly controlled. I do not want to lose limbs, kidneys, lung, sexual, heart, or circulation functions.

You suck!>:(>:(>:(

Sincerely,
Not your fan!

Sorry, It has been awhile since I let that one out.

rubyredlipsss
03-22-2010, 01:45 AM
dear this past week,
you suck for a multitude of reasons. and you keep throwing shit my way, now i'm sicker than i've been since i could last remember and got a speeding ticket. please let something good happen soon...like maybe throwing a grand my way at work, eh? you know you want to do something positive for me. pretty please.

thanks,
R aka your achy body and everything else that feels like shit.