View Full Version : The single gal thread ...... post dating mishaps and goals here ........
bexxx
02-22-2010, 07:24 PM
I don't think you have to tell every guy that youre a stripper on the first date atall, it could just be abit of fun, obviously stripping isnt just like any sales job and if you feel something getting abit serious with a guy then you should tell them but telling people youre a stripper does bring up so many issues so by telling guys youre a stripper on the first day I think alot of them are ignorant and will judge you but not on purpose its just because theyre igorant lol and it will stop you having fun that you could have had on that date sometimes..if that makes any sense Im pretty tired.
veronicachick
02-24-2010, 12:23 AM
IMO that's lying by omission. You need to give any good, decent man who is willing to be serious with you the opportunity to decide whether he can handle your chosen profession or not. Telling him later is going to piss him off and start your relationship with distrust.
For example, I would never date a man in the military. If I fell in love with him, and found out when I was already invested in the relationship, I would be heartbroken , pissed and would likely end it- not just because of his job, but because of the lying.
Just... no.
call it what you want, but I learned my lesson.
telling someone you are a stripper simply isn't first date talk, esp at my age where the ppl I meet are still a little immature about the whole thing. it is just a job, to me... but to many others out there that don't understand it, it's a lot more.
in my last relationship, I revealed what I did only to have it thrown back in my face later. the things he did and said about me humiliated me and I never want to go through that again. It sucks that the next guy will have to deal w this wall I have up because of the idiot before him, but I'd much rather be cautious about revealing my profession and risk having him be pissed at me(or even not ever want to speak to me again) for omission... then risk going through something like what I went through again.
if he is the right guy for me, he'll understand why I couldn't reveal it at first. and i wholeheartedly believe that.
carmen_b
02-24-2010, 12:26 PM
The guy I met in the club is headed to Vegas and wants me to go. I sort of want to.
mediocrity
02-24-2010, 02:35 PM
My brain just exploded.
Jenn1981
02-24-2010, 03:09 PM
Im single. Been single for a bit now. Like since last april.
That relationship was 2 yrs. The one before that lasted 5 yrs.
Now i just ?"date" which im about to start my own thread on because... i dont know HOW to date. Im a relationship person. Im so sick of "dating". I also miss the comfort of relationships and having a guy there who truly cares about me. The dont give a F attitude and do what i want when i want was fun for a while, but yeah i miss it.
How have I filled time?? Worked more, (ooh thats fun) havent really gotten into any new hobbies but im looking. And hang more with friends/family.
carmen_b
02-24-2010, 04:42 PM
My brain just exploded.
I don't suppose you know of anywhere in Vegas that will let you work a night or two without a license ? I'm guessing they are all really strict.
??? I want to go , but need money too.
carmen_b
02-24-2010, 04:46 PM
Jenn: You are gorgeous. You'll find a boyfriend. I REALLY do understand the frustration of wanting something " real " and men wanting " surface level " ( or an action buddy or however you want to phrase it ). The bottom line ......... you just have to take that risk and run with it. It's perfectly find to tell them " I'm not interested in casually hooking up. I'm looking for dating to turn into a relationship ".
And ....... for the first time in my life ........ I'm enjoying just dating .
mediocrity
02-24-2010, 04:53 PM
The only club that will let you work a few nights sans license is the Palomino Club. It's in North Las Vegas. Topless dances on the floor, optional nude on stage, nude in VIP. Only club in Las Vegas that has booze and nudity.
The other stuff... how in the world do you have the time to think all of that stuff?! What the hell girl?! Are your bills paid for the month? Is he fun? Quit slicing everything into slivers of crazy and FUCKING GO. It's a free vacation.
carmen_b
02-24-2010, 04:59 PM
^ Ah ....... that's what I wanted to hear. Bills are tight. They have been tight for a year. My day job income took a MAJOR hit with the recession and I stopped stripping to please my ex. He's gone now and I dance now, so they are becoming less tight. Now that I have money again, I'm obsessed with keeping reg. work hours. But yes ..... they are paid ( barely ) currently. Thanks. Calling the club now.
He's very very fun. My only complaint is the smoking.
And ..... being scared that people might recognize " real you " and "Stripper you " and put the two together IS scary to me. I want to minimize that risk. I just didn't mean to be so wordy with it.
He arrives at 10 tonight.
;)
mediocrity
02-24-2010, 05:02 PM
^^ You tell us every post.
carmen_b
02-24-2010, 05:25 PM
The being obsessed with work thing or keeping stripping a secret ? I didn't realize I was doing it .......
mediocrity
02-24-2010, 05:31 PM
That you like boys who kiss like girls but I see you edited it.
bexxx
02-24-2010, 05:59 PM
^ Ah ....... that's what I wanted to hear. Bills are tight. They have been tight for a year. My day job income took a MAJOR hit with the recession and I stopped stripping to please my ex. He's gone now and I dance now, so they are becoming less tight. Now that I have money again, I'm obsessed with keeping reg. work hours. But yes ..... they are paid ( barely ) currently. Thanks. Calling the club now.
He's very very fun. My only complaint is the smoking.
And ..... being scared that people might recognize " real you " and "Stripper you " and put the two together IS scary to me. I want to minimize that risk. I just didn't mean to be so wordy with it.
He arrives at 10 tonight.
;)
Arrives at ten to take you to vegas? Well keep us updated Id like to know how it goes!
Im kinda like you as in I over worry about things alot and my close friends always tell me I do and its like yes I know I do but I cant help it..like Id want to over worry about things its so stressfull lol I think Ive chilled out though I dont do it so much these days but a couple years back I did really bad especially over men.
carmen_b
02-26-2010, 03:23 AM
He stayed one night in SLC. We are in Vegas now. It's been a fun day! I'm not worried about working. I'm in vacation mode now. ;)
carmen_b
02-27-2010, 12:38 PM
Uh .... help. The Vegas trip is going WELL, but I'm overwhelmed by the constant interaction. Where is a cheap day spa or something that I can go hang out in ? Are there any that you can pay a $30 or so fee and just use the ameneties?
Something similar to KabukiSprings.com in San Francisco ? If I can get somewhere totally tranquil and quiet for a few hours, everyone will win. I'm worried if I don't get quiet time, the trip might start going badly.
carmen_b
03-03-2010, 01:05 AM
^ Back from Vegas. Found a kick ass day spa that does do the day use pass . It's at the SouthPoint Casino and it's awesome ( and only $25 for the day pass)
.
The trip went well. Less on the sugar baby vibe and more on the two people just getting to know each other vibe. I'm exhausted now and just glad to be home in my own space.
R is still on my mind though and he sent a couple of text messages my way while C and I we were in Vegas. R doesn't smoke. C's smoking habit drove me NUTS. C also has kids ( two kids / two weekends of every month ) and I know it shouldn't " dock points " , but it's just ...... hard. He was referencing kids movies / characters / tons of other stuff in Vegas and I was just LOST ( and sort of not interested too ). One isn't even his kid ( but he practically raised her ) so it's impressive he's stepped up.
carmen_b
03-03-2010, 12:53 PM
So ........ who else is doing this dating thing ? Post more stories.
mediocrity
03-03-2010, 12:55 PM
^^ I say this with love carmen: get over it. No sense in being butt hurt a month later.
carmen_b
03-03-2010, 12:56 PM
You think I shouldn't go ? 'Cause I actually need money ( I'm saving for Hawaii or Thailand ) and working a 3 day batch in WY may be a better use of time. If I give him an evening this weekend, I lose 30% of what I could make since it would have to be a two day trip instead of 3.
mediocrity
03-03-2010, 01:03 PM
No I mean get over being upset about the makeout thing. Either go out with the man, or don't.
carmen_b
03-03-2010, 01:18 PM
Cool. Going. Two stripper days this week is enough anyway.
carmen_b
03-05-2010, 12:21 PM
Sexy R in 6 hours ! ;)
Kellydancer
03-05-2010, 12:35 PM
I have to post the worst date I ever had. I'm surprised I kept dating after this. A friend of mine asked if I'd go out with his neighbor. I said ok, because I didn't have much going that week. So then he picks me up at my house. So far so good, and he tells me he has to pick up two of his guy friends. This was still fine.
So then comes first warning sign. On the phone he said we'd go out to dinner first. When he picked me up he said we only had time to pick up something on the oasis (this is an overpass on the expressway that has fast food restaurants). I was disappointed but blew it off. So then we stop at KFC and I order a chicken dinner. I ended up paying for it and was disappointed he didn't offer to pay (most guys seem to pay on the first date). I had to use the washroom and when I got back I saw my mashed potatoes were gone because he ate them. In hindsight I could already see things weren't going good. So I got the rest of the meal and we got in his car.
So then we get to the club and he expects me to pay for him! I declined but paid for myself. His friends were cool and kept buying drinks. He got mad because I wouldn't buy him drinks either. He also started smoking pot at the club. So later on his friends (both met their girlfriends at the club) suggested we all go take a walk on the beach. His friends were making out with their girlfriends and he expected I'd do the same with him, but I refused. So then we get back in his car and drove back to his friends' apartment. When there he proceeded to throw a tantrum because I wouldn't sleep with him. Luckily his two friends took me home and told me to avoid him because he was nasty to all girls (his friends were very nice).
I can laugh at this now because so many years have past (this was in 1992), but sadly it was a taste of things to come because I dated many more like him. I don't know.
Kellydancer
03-05-2010, 12:39 PM
Kelly :
I just re-read your note. Did you sleep with this guy already ? I ask because I wonder if he's gotten sex already and that's what he's not doing nice stuff like taking you on dates ect.
I don't know ......... I hate it when men aren't aggressive. I'm over R . His lack of pursuit turned me off even though he's a fabulous kisser. I can't wait until I see him again and he'll try to get all friendly and I get to say " Oh ...... no thanks. I really prefer a more aggressive men who invites me on dates ect. " . HaHaHa.
No, I haven't slept with him at all. He takes sex seriously and doesn't believe it should be casual. In fact he strictly believes if he got a girl pregnant, he'd marry her (and he would). He's got issues with dealing with a previous bad relationship, his mother pressuring him to marry and have kids, and in the past I wasn't always nice to him. Besides, with my financial issues I can't get serious now, so I can deal with a friend (and he's been one for years).
carmen_b
03-05-2010, 07:12 PM
I had to use the washroom and when I got back I saw my mashed potatoes were gone because he ate them.
I haven't made it past here , but almost snorted my coffee out my nose ! LOLOLOL.
carmen_b
03-05-2010, 07:14 PM
Oh man Kelly. That was fucking hilarious. I would have just smoked as much of his weed as I could before ditching him. ;)
carmen_b
03-05-2010, 07:16 PM
Uh-Oh. Another strike for R ...... ;(
I really don't care, but best friend is insistent that he's a douche bag.
carmen_b
03-05-2010, 07:18 PM
No, I haven't slept with him at all. He takes sex seriously and doesn't believe it should be casual. In fact he strictly believes if he got a girl pregnant, he'd marry her (and he would). He's got issues with dealing with a previous bad relationship, his mother pressuring him to marry and have kids, and in the past I wasn't always nice to him. Besides, with my financial issues I can't get serious now, so I can deal with a friend (and he's been one for years).
No sex AND he isn't taking you to nice dinners either ? I'm a little drunk right now, but this does not sound good.
carmen_b
03-05-2010, 07:55 PM
R sent this text " Come over ..... ( address ) " . Isn't is sort of tacky to have me drive to his neighboorhood instead of coming downtown to get me ? It seems like he's testing my bad manners meter.
I look HOT too. I had my hair done today. Nails are done. Makeup awesome. Cute outfit. I could go grab someone that has the manners to take a gal out .
Kellydancer
03-05-2010, 10:16 PM
No sex AND he isn't taking you to nice dinners either ? I'm a little drunk right now, but this does not sound good.
When he came out he took me to dinner (and paid). It's not that, just that he wants me to slow down because I got aggressive.
Kellydancer
03-05-2010, 10:18 PM
Oh man Kelly. That was fucking hilarious. I would have just smoked as much of his weed as I could before ditching him. ;)
I will admit that was my first time smoking it (I needed a break from that guy). I would have ditched him except I was near an area I didn't know that well (Wrigleyville, I'm pretty much a south side/downtown girl). I later found out the guy fooled around with a friend (but every guy fooled around with her, she was a skank and butt ugly).
carmen_b
03-06-2010, 11:20 AM
Things with R went ok. He just seem like he's not trying very hard .......... I told him to not place me in the casual fun category and that I don't take sexuality casually. We will see if he even contacts me after those statements ! More awesome cuddles in the movie ( Blood into Wine - SEE it by the way ...... very cool ) . Awesome cuddles and make out session at his house. He's super nurturing. I stayed over and actually slept ( I have a hard time falling asleep if I'm not super familiar with the person ) .
C is really cool and I know he'd be hurt to know I went on a date / kissed / slept mostly naked with someone else. But .... C lives in the middle of nowhere and has kids and smokes.
carmen_b
03-06-2010, 11:24 AM
When he came out he took me to dinner (and paid). It's not that, just that he wants me to slow down because I got aggressive.
Is the slowing down working ?
carmen_b
03-06-2010, 11:28 AM
R and I have now seen each others human sides. I tripped on the stairs at the theatre ( I don't see well in the dark ) and he farted at his house. I figure we no longer have to tippy toe around each other now.
Kellydancer
03-06-2010, 01:04 PM
Is the slowing down working ?
Not sure so far. I am giving him space so we'll see how that works. He's still scared over his last relationship (from 2006-2007) so it hasn't been that long. I'm actually considering moving near him next year because he lives near many jobs. I wouldn't move because of him, but I'm hoping that by then (this would be Fall maybe) he'll be over his issue (and he likes me so that's not a problem).
Yeah my worst date in hindsight is funny now. I don't know what happened to that guy because he thought he was all that and he wasn't. In fact he didn't even have a job then and he was ugly. I didn't like him, but I had nothing to do. I just assumed that because I was so pretty (I was modeling and it's before I started dancing) he'd bend over backwards to impress me. Did he think I'd want to go on a second date after that?
carmen_b
03-06-2010, 03:08 PM
Have you considered making a list of what you'd like to see happen .... such as :
weekly dates
sleepovers 2-3 times a week
.......whatever ..............
and seeing if he has a problem with any of the stuff on the list ?
From your notes ....... he just seems ......... unresponsive. That would drive me nuts.
bexxx
03-06-2010, 04:30 PM
Have you considered making a list of what you'd like to see happen .... such as :
weekly dates
sleepovers 2-3 times a week
.......whatever ..............
and seeing if he has a problem with any of the stuff on the list ?
From your notes ....... he just seems ......... unresponsive. That would drive me nuts.
lol doing thing like this is how to scare a man off..well Im not an expert but even Id find that abit scary. I always think its better to go with the flow dont plan so far ahead because you have no idea whats around the corner and if youre constantly thinking 'omg where is this going' you arent going to enjoy the relationship as it is, I love the begining part where youre getting to know someone. Its not the end of the world if it goes absoloutly nowhere.
I personally think if a guy is unresponsive then dont pressure him.. Let him know how you feel then let him come after you..perhaps giving him more space will make him realise he does want you or if he is still acting unresponsive then move on to the next guy dont keep chasing after him because noone is worth it, if a guy liked you that much then he would show it. But you also cant expect them to be exclaiming their love for you after a couple dates and a make out session. simple lol
mediocrity
03-06-2010, 04:34 PM
^^ Yeah dude. Even as a woman I would fucking BOLT.
Here is my favourite date I went on with J recently:
We met at my house and carpooled with his best friend downtown. Once downtown, we met up with another couple for a few pre-dinner drinks because they couldn't stay for dinner. We went to dinner at a fancy face restaurant, dressed to the nines. We always sit in the lounge areas so we can sit next to each other versus across. I had a glass of pinot noir, he had a green tea martini; we order three course omakase which in Japanese, means "trust me", and so it was chef's choice. I fell off the wagon for this restaurant it is so, so good. First course was olympia oyster with shallot vinaigrette... the oyster was half as long as my forearm. Next is hamachi sashimi with blood orange reduction and shaved pecorino and edible violets- and it finishes out with something we called the WTF roll... some sort of decadent scallop concoction that J forbids me to put soy sauce on.
He asks the waitress to write down everything we had and tells her it was so good we may not even have to have sex tonight.
A few of his friends meet up with us and we go and dance the rest of the night away- he always wears velvet jackets and drapes them over my shoulders at the end of the night.
He usually has to work the next day, but I got to lay in bed with him til noon before he put his dress clothes on, moon walked in my kitchen and kissed me goodbye.
God that was fun.
Kellydancer
03-06-2010, 05:17 PM
Have you considered making a list of what you'd like to see happen .... such as :
weekly dates
sleepovers 2-3 times a week
.......whatever ..............
and seeing if he has a problem with any of the stuff on the list ?
From your notes ....... he just seems ......... unresponsive. That would drive me nuts.
I just go with the flow. I don't want a serious thing now, so I'm leaving it up to him. Not to say I am waiting for his call (I'm not) but if I scare him too much then he'll go. It's a bizarre situation because many years ago he wanted to date me, but I kind of did the same thing to him (which is why he's playing the game). Plus, he lives an hour from me and only recently is the weather getting better. I do have some ideas for the summer (he suggested camping) so we'll see where it goes then. When I was younger I would have automatically dumped him but not so much now (plus we are already friends so we know each other). I had a boyfriend that liked to plan things out and it drove me nuts (and I vowed my next relationship would be much more go with the flow until we got to the living together/engaged stage).
bexxx
03-06-2010, 05:33 PM
^^ Yeah dude. Even as a woman I would fucking BOLT.
Here is my favourite date I went on with J recently:
We met at my house and carpooled with his best friend downtown. Once downtown, we met up with another couple for a few pre-dinner drinks because they couldn't stay for dinner. We went to dinner at a fancy face restaurant, dressed to the nines. We always sit in the lounge areas so we can sit next to each other versus across. I had a glass of pinot noir, he had a green tea martini; we order three course omakase which in Japanese, means "trust me", and so it was chef's choice. I fell off the wagon for this restaurant it is so, so good. First course was olympia oyster with shallot vinaigrette... the oyster was half as long as my forearm. Next is hamachi sashimi with blood orange reduction and shaved pecorino and edible violets- and it finishes out with something we called the WTF roll... some sort of decadent scallop concoction that J forbids me to put soy sauce on.
He asks the waitress to write down everything we had and tells her it was so good we may not even have to have sex tonight.
A few of his friends meet up with us and we go and dance the rest of the night away- he always wears velvet jackets and drapes them over my shoulders at the end of the night.
He usually has to work the next day, but I got to lay in bed with him til noon before he put his dress clothes on, moon walked in my kitchen and kissed me goodbye.
God that was fun.
lol aw, youre so loved up I swear half the posts I read off you, you mention 'J' its really cute I don't think Ive ever met a man who I thought so highly of..other than when I was younger and thought I was sooo in love but no I was just very young.
mediocrity
03-06-2010, 05:36 PM
^^ Haha. Eh, she asked for date stories so I thought I'd contribute. I'm fucking sprung dude. I don't fall in love easily and am really not easily impressed so it's sort of a phenomenon for me.
carmen_b
03-07-2010, 08:46 AM
I thought Kelly has been involved with the guy a long time already ............. maybe I mis-read.
Kellydancer
03-07-2010, 11:34 AM
I thought Kelly has been involved with the guy a long time already ............. maybe I mis-read.
Not really, but I've known him 15 years, were friends for years, then lost contact for 10 years (confusing I know). When we first became friends, he was interested in me, but I wanted a friend (I had gotten out of a painful relationship). I've been searching for him as he has for me, and in December I found him on Facebook. We've chatted quite a bit then we saw each other and couldn't stop kissing/holding hands/hugging, etc. He also asked me to be his girlfriend and only date him. Then about 2 weeks later he said he wanted to take things slow because he was afraid of rushing things like marriage and pregnancy (no idea where that came from). Then about 2 weeks ago he said he was afraid of falling in love or having a relationship because it's "painful". He got used by many women in his life so he's afraid (and I admit I wasn't always nice to him either in tha past). Plus his mom is pressuring him to have babies (she's old school Italian). It's confusing because I've never dealt with this situation. I've dealt with guys who just want sex, others who were desperate to get married or have babies, and guys just not interested (I don't think this pertains to him). My attitude is if it's going to happen, it will happen and he'll get over his fear. This is why I'm giving him space, don't want to think I have ulterior motives.
carmen_b
03-07-2010, 04:02 PM
Sounds like space is a good move. Do you date other people too or just him ? It doesn't seem really fair to not get a lot of attention from him yet also only date him .
carmen_b
03-07-2010, 04:04 PM
MMMMMmmmmmm ( regarding Med's dinner date post ) . Nothing like an amazing meal out with great company. ;)
carmen_b
03-07-2010, 04:10 PM
Still trying to figure R out. A date of a couple rounds of drinks ( I paid ) + a movie I wanted to see ( he paid ) isn't too bad right ? I enjoyed the date, but I'm wondering if he's cheap .
bexxx
03-07-2010, 04:16 PM
Still trying to figure R out. A date of a couple rounds of drinks ( I paid ) + a movie I wanted to see ( he paid ) isn't too bad right ? I enjoyed the date, but I'm wondering if he's cheap . The bar was cash only ( surprise .... I always have cash on hand) and instead of hitting the ATM which was right by us, he just joked " guess you are paying for my drinks ". It just seems like he should have been like ...... " oh .... I need to hit the ATM ..... I didn't realize it was cash only " and then I could have offered at that point.
I think my return to stripping is playing with my head a little ( like ..... I expect a nice dinner or something as a token that the guy gives a damn ) .
lol no its not you, thats cheeky of him he doesnt know you well enough to assume you'll pay for him Im guessing he is cheap but I also find that rude
carmen_b
03-07-2010, 04:33 PM
^ Yeah. I LOVE how he is physically ( SUPER affectionate ) , but his manners did seem a little off with not driving to come get me + not offering to pay for drinks ( it was only $18 or so ) OR offering dinner .
Things are pointing to cheap .......... another case in point. He's into back country skiing ( which I found really interesting ) and I think that reason he might do it is because it's free instead of paying the $70 or so for a lift ticket. He skis backcountry 90% of the time. I don't know ...... he's a freelance software programmer, so I assumed he wasn't hurting financially. He lives alone and seems to work hard.
C is quite different ........ smoking and kids aside, he totally spoils me ( like .... nice hotel suites / nice meals type of spoiling .... ). I don't expect that kind of stuff all the time, but as a relationship start .... it was nice.
Kellydancer
03-07-2010, 04:52 PM
Sounds like space is a good move. Do you date other people too or just him ? It doesn't seem really fair to not get a lot of attention from him yet also only date him .
Before him, I really wasn't looking for anyone, but no I don't date others (he doesn't either). I guess if I met another guy I'd date him (after all I'm not sleeping with the one guy and not interested in that right now). The problem though is there aren't many quality guys out here. I am trying to concentrate on my life (namely finding a job) so that takes up a lot of time.
bexxx
03-07-2010, 05:08 PM
^ Yeah. I LOVE how he is physically ( SUPER affectionate ) , but his manners did seem a little off with not driving to come get me + not offering to pay for drinks ( it was only $18 or so ) OR offering dinner ( even though he ate at work ). But .... he was a gentleman about opening doors , he's a good conversationalist , and really ..... man .... great kisser. I don't want to be sugar momma, but I almost WOULD consider it with him..... lol.
Things are pointing to cheap .......... another case in point. He's into back country skiing ( which I found really interesting ) and I think that reason he might do it is because it's free instead of paying the $70 or so for a lift ticket. He skis backcountry 90% of the time. I don't know ...... he's a freelance software programmer, so I assumed he wasn't hurting financially. He lives alone and seems to work hard.
C is quite different ........ smoking and kids aside, he totally spoils me ( like .... nice hotel suites / nice meals type of spoiling .... ). I don't expect that kind of stuff all the time, but as a relationship start .... it was nice.
It just depends whats important to you in a man/relationship..I prefer men who spend money on me and that sounds shallow but I am and I like to be spoiled. obviously if i really loved someone i wouldnt care if they were broke but I dont really love anyone and I dont like cheap people or people with no drive to make money.