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View Full Version : The single gal thread ...... post dating mishaps and goals here ........



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carmen_b
03-07-2010, 10:47 PM
Of course ...... I met C at the club so he knows I like money or I wouldn't be there .... lol.

I met R through my hippie friends ( travel buddies ) , so I can sort of see how I set myself up for the difference.

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 01:37 PM
Gah ........ C and I have been intimate ( everything short of having sex ) and now I sort of want to be with R that way too.
I don't feel like it's safe health wise to even have oral sex with both of them ( or fair / ethical ) . I'm so damn stuck on this. What the hell am I supposed to do?
C treats me like GOLD , but maybe with the kids + smoking + distance ..... it's just too hard . He hinted around that he'd like to be a couple and I know it would hurt him a lot if I want to stop seeing him.

Kellydancer
03-08-2010, 01:57 PM
Gah ........ C and I have been intimate ( everything short of having sex ) and now I sort of want to be with R that way too. I'm way paranoid of getting preggers + stds so I don't have sex without STD testing + BC pills + condoms + monogamy.
I don't feel like it's safe health wise to even have oral sex with both of them ( or fair / ethical ) . I'm so damn stuck on this. What the hell am I supposed to do?
C treats me like GOLD , but maybe with the kids + smoking + distance ..... it's just too hard . He hinted around that he'd like to be a couple and I know it would hurt him a lot if I want to stop seeing him.

You could be going down a dangerous path by doing that. Call me old fashioned, but years ago I decided to wait until I got serious before having sex. This includes oral and intercourse. The reason was I realized that having casual sex (not that this was an everyday happening) was messing with my head. Also, I found that yes, even having oral sex way too early did this to me. Sure, it stinks not having sex of any type, but it makes sure that when I do have sex again it will be more fulfilling. Plus, many men I've known only want sex and waiting will scare off most, which is good. By serious I mean living together, engaged or even married. I wish I had this mindset in my 20s because it could have prevented a lot of things I now regret.

Btw, not judging you for doing this. I did the same. I just feel that in my life I made a terrible mistake rushing sex too early.

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 02:07 PM
^ But ...... I never have. I've only been with my long term BF. My sexuality was all Fucked up from religion in my 20's. I hit 29 and started to feel normal and I'm horny all the time at 30 ( and now I believe the god has better things to do than tallying people consensual activities ) .

I just feel bad leaving R with a boner all the time ya know ? He made out with me for like 5 hours last time and snuggled me all night ...........

I just sent him a message saying he needs to buy a TV because I want to be lazy and watch movies ( he's be living out of the country and hasn't bought one yet ) and he offered to set up a big computer screen + laptop for the movie and cook dinner. And ..... now that he's being sweet I'm feeling bad for hiding stripping.

;)

Kellydancer
03-08-2010, 02:41 PM
^ But ...... I never have. I've only been with my long term BF. My sexuality was all Fucked up from religion in my 20's. I hit 29 and started to feel normal and I'm horny all the time at 30 ( and now I believe the god has better things to do than tallying people consensual activities ) .

I just feel bad leaving R with a boner all the time ya know ? He made out with me for like 5 hours last time and snuggled me all night ...........

I just sent him a message saying he needs to buy a TV because I want to be lazy and watch movies ( I told you he is a hippie ) and he offered to set up a big computer screen + laptop for the movie and cook dinner. And ..... now that he's being sweet I'm feeling bad for hiding stripping. It's only our third date though.

;)

Yeah religion messes up many people's sexuality. I remember myself going wild in my 20's because I was a good Catholic girl in my teens (could be why I started stripping partly too). I guess I look at it from the viewpoint of maybe I wouldn't be in the situation I am now if I had been more stricter sexually when I was younger. In a strange irony, the guy I like is one of the few guys I never engaged in full on sexual activity with. We did some touching, and he sucked on my toes (he's a foot fetishist) but that's it.

You are doing the right thing by hiding stripping for now. When I'd tell guys I was one, they automatically thought I was easy. Not true, but guys often stereotype.

KS_Stevia
03-08-2010, 02:58 PM
I'm newly single ( long term relationship of 6 years ended 2 months ago ). Who else is single right now? How are you doing ? The lack of physical affection ( cuddles ect.) is driving me crazy today and making me want to cry. !

Newly single, not too pleased about it, but its for the best.

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 03:28 PM
KS: You will get to a point where you aren't feeling bad all the time - I PROMISE. I thought I'd NEVER have the balls to leave mine ( and friends were fed up too ), but I finally did.

How long were you together? Who ended it and why ?

J.D.
03-08-2010, 03:31 PM
I just wanted to say....

Every day that I wake up without him in my life, I am HAPPIER!!! I am finally almost fully adjusted, and loving being single! I just don't give a fuck to impress guys anymore! What I would like to do now, is get a rotation going. I need to have Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, you get the idea. This is going to be a fun Summer, that's all I have to say!

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 03:31 PM
they automatically thought I was easy
Yeah ..... I'm definitely not easy, so I guess I could see where that could confuse R if I mention it. I forget that men go " oh that is SO wild " when I just think " oh - I need money .... I better go work " ..... lol.

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 03:33 PM
I just wanted to say....

Every day that I wake up without him in my life, I am HAPPIER!!! I am finally almost fully adjusted, and loving being single! I just don't give a fuck to impress guys anymore! What I would like to do now, is get a rotation going. I need to have Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, you get the idea. This is going to be a fun Summer, that's all I have to say!

J.D. :
WONDERFUL !
So glad to hear you are doing better. I don't remember your full details, but I think I read a post that made me go " man .... she so needs to leave " on here awhile ago. The rotation plan is a decent way to go ( it's worked for me for a month or so ) , but as you get to know the people better , it gets harder ( that's where I am at now ) .

I've only mentioned my two main players in the rotation. I also went out with G ( super nice mormon boy ) and I may go out with D ( older guy I met at my day job ....... who is obviously wanting to be a sugar daddy based on the stuff he says).

J.D.
03-08-2010, 03:49 PM
I am sooo not getting attached to a guy anytime soon! My significant other in my life right now is my money and myself. I am treating myself like my own girlfriend. I have missed this feeling! I haven't felt this way in a looonnnnggg time! I remember back in the day when I would just work work work, and "do me". I would spend my days making myself more beautiful, in the salon, the gym, the mall, etc. I would have guys take me shopping, on exotic vacations, and out to nice places constantly, but always kept them at arms lengths distance. I would go on dates with guys, but they were on the back burner, stacking my paper was the most important thing. And if I did go out with a hot guy, I would totally use 'em for my pleasure and kick 'em out afterwards. God, it was such an empowering time of my life, and now I am finally back to that point, after a few years of being heartbroken and playing games chasing boys. Fuck that noise. I love this feeling, like I am a man trapped in a beautiful girl's body! I can have and do anything I want right now, no man is holding me back!

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 03:52 PM
Wow ^
See .... I've never felt polished enough to really play a sugar baby effectively ...... but D is offering innocent dates and shopping trips, so I may just pull it off. D knows I "used to" dance. He tried to get me enticed with the " I have funds and time to travel " thing, but I shot that down since I have flight benefits and don't need anyone to cover my flights ...... so he offered shopping. ;)

carmen_b
03-08-2010, 05:41 PM
R is making dinner tonight ( I'm impressed ! ) .

KS_Stevia
03-08-2010, 07:35 PM
KS: You will get to a point where you aren't feeling bad all the time - I PROMISE. I thought I'd NEVER have the balls to leave mine ( and friends were fed up too ), but I finally did.

How long were you together? Who ended it and why ?

Almost a year and a half. My friends and family can't stand him either. I guess the breakup was mutual. We sat down to talk about resolving issues, and we just couldn't see eye to eye. So I said there was nothing left to work towards. He got his stuff and left.

Its allright. I'm enjoying my alone time right now.

carmen_b
03-09-2010, 11:06 AM
^ When friends and family as a collective group don't like your SO ........ there is often a good reason! If it's more than just a person or two , I'll bet that they knew it wasn't a good match.

carmen_b
03-09-2010, 11:11 AM
R made an awesome Indian dish ( Sag Paneer ) . I helped. Cooking together is just primal and I was IMPRESSED. We made the bread and everything. It was hot. We watched a movie. I love dinner+movie dates even though they are a cliche - LOVE them ! ;)
He's super sexy. We snuggled on the couch for the movie and he played with my hair the whole time - I couldn't even stay awake. I woke up and there was lots of making out again.
....... He just seems so smooth. Too smooth. And ..... he left his condoms out by his bedside ( I didn't see them until I was there alone this morning ) . There was a couple stray ones and then on the lower shelf there was a big box that had been opened. ;( You'd think he's at least hide them. Maybe he's too sexually polished for me.

mediocrity
03-09-2010, 11:14 AM
I think I should back away from this thread.

carmen_b
03-09-2010, 11:17 AM
Sorry ..... but it does kind of seem like he's not trying very hard. Like ..... he really needs to leave rubbers hanging out all over his room instead of putting them in a drawer ?

mediocrity
03-09-2010, 11:33 AM
Just the level of low self esteem and questioning and agonising I am reading is so out of my thought process. Maybe he doesn't need to have condoms laying around, but I would deduce he is at least responsible about sex.

I mean you like him, he seems to like you. Why constantly try and find something wrong with it?

carmen_b
03-09-2010, 11:36 AM
^ Good point. I guess it's just because I get really irritated with men just want a physical relationship and they don't want to get to know me beyond that ( the only time I've been in love, the guy just left town without saying a word ) . So ..... I'm on guard about their intentions I suppose.

J.D.
03-09-2010, 11:38 AM
If I really liked a guy, and went over to his house to cook dinner and watch a movie, then saw a bunch of freshly used condom and/or wrappers laying around, I would feel like he didn't have the common respect for me to at least hide that shit. I would feel kind of insulted.

J.D.
03-09-2010, 11:39 AM
^ Good point. I guess it's just because I get really irritated with men just want a physical relationship and they don't want to get to know me beyond that ( the only time I've been in love, the guy just left town without saying a word ) . So ..... I'm on guard about their intentions I suppose.

If you want more than just a physical relationship, you have to demand it. Don't put up with shit like this. Call him out on it, give him a disgusted look, and walk out and leave.

mediocrity
03-09-2010, 11:40 AM
^^ I didn't read that they were used, JD, just an open box and few ones laying around.

J.D.
03-09-2010, 11:42 AM
R made an awesome Indian dish ( Sag Paneer ) . I helped. Cooking together is just primal and I was IMPRESSED. We made the bread and everything. It was hot. We watched a movie. I love dinner+movie dates even though they are a cliche - LOVE them ! ;)
He's super sexy. We snuggled on the couch for the movie and he played with my hair the whole time - I couldn't even stay awake. I woke up and there was lots of making out again.
....... He just seems so smooth. Too smooth. And ..... he left his condoms out by his bedside ( I didn't see them until I was there alone this morning ) . There was a couple stray ones and then on the lower shelf there was a big box that had been opened. ;( You'd think he's at least hide them. Maybe he's too sexually polished for me.

Sexually polished? Are you joking? More like sloppy. A sexually polished guy, a real player, would have hidden that shit. He's just a sloppy horndog. He obviously doesn't care if you see them out, he didn't even consider that that might hurt your feelings. He doesn't give a fuck.

J.D.
03-09-2010, 11:43 AM
^^ I didn't read that they were used, JD, just an open box and few ones laying around.

Ok, well I guess that's not as bad, but still. Isn't it common sense to put that shit away before a different girl comes over? I mean, he was cooking dinner and watching a movie with this chick, what kind of message does that send?

mediocrity
03-09-2010, 11:49 AM
Ok, well I guess that's not as bad, but still. Isn't it common sense to put that shit away before a different girl comes over? I mean, he was cooking dinner and watching a movie with this chick, what kind of message does that send?

I guess since I am just as bad it wouldn't bother me. I usually have a condom on top of my jewelry box. Granted they are slung all over my room, but you know.

carmen_b
03-09-2010, 11:51 AM
^ Good. I was just feeling like I was not being " modern " enough or something to be ok with it. They were NOT wrappers ( or used ) . Magnums. I can confirm that the Mags are good choice as I've seen his dick ( but made him put it away ) . ;)
I agree J.D.
I think they should be hidden and then if the moment strikes ....... he goes to the drawer and gets them.

Last time I told him that I don't take sex casually and not to place me in the fun/casual category.

carmen_b
03-09-2010, 11:52 AM
Med: You are in a relationship though.

bexxx
03-09-2010, 12:50 PM
Med: You are in a relationship though. Not a 2nd date.


Shes in an open relationship and from reading your posts and her posts you are both at the complete opposite ends of the scale sexually and your views on a relationship so don't think you would see eye to eye on subjects like this. It was abit unthoughtful of him to be leaving condoms out like that but youre not in an exclusive or even sexual relationship and I think he is interested in you more than sexual as you havent had sex and he wants to spend time with you. So just chill out and if its really bothering you then talk to him about it instead of overthinking and worrying about it to yourself.

plasticks
02-28-2011, 01:58 PM
I haven't had a boyfriend since my freshman year of high school :crying: I've dated on and off since then, but nothing serious. Seems like all that's interested these days is losers/uglies. Sigh.