View Full Version : Does She Like Me?
Hopper
02-20-2010, 04:33 AM
Hopper, I agree that the OP's post is a valid question and i'm glad he posted it, and it was probably unfair for so many in here to attack him as a one foot in the door already potential stalker type creep,.. but in fairness the reason dancers are so touchy on this issue is because they are dealing with the general public, and ANY guy can visit a strip club, and the "captive to their shift" issue which i've repeatedyl spoken of (apparently not relevant in Everyman's case at this point) is also a very legit issue.
Dancers deal with guys all the time that are social misfits, who can easily misinterpret standard hustle techniques or mere kindness for something more, and that is why they are paranoid.
...
I don't see what one has to do with the other.
Djoser
02-20-2010, 05:11 AM
oh c'mon sxcbbw- you totally want a 45 yr old BF. ;) Don't lie.
So what's your point? She never said she wanted a 45 yr old boyfriend, I never said I wanted a 19-20 year old girlfriend, or how old I was. She merely said she liked my pictures, and I said I was hanging out with a 19 year old. Do you have some kind of problem with that?
princessjas
02-20-2010, 06:51 AM
Just thought you might apply your trained scientific mind to other situations. So I'm supposed to write a lab report on every comment made here? Must I include graphs or tables? LMFAO Whateves.
Everyman isn't behaving obsessively and we are not talking about "how women feel". Obviously the girl who is the subject of the thread feels okay about his behaviour. He didn't ask us to comment on his own behaviour, he is asking about the girl's behaviour. I don't see anything wrong with his behaviour or anything he has said here. Really? How exactly do you know how she feels? Often times girls try to ignore obsessive behavior for fear of "setting off" the guy. Strippers deal with this so often it's not even funny.
It's natural for him to be curious about this girl's behaviour since (as everybody else here agrees) it is unusual. You said this is a "HUGE (capitals yours) stalker red flag". It just doesn't follow, regardless of what your experiences have been. Your experiences are no justification for unfair comments about the OP. Obsessing isn't the same as stalking and EM isn't obsessing, he's just wondering. Obsessing is a hairsbreath behind stalking, and being "curious" enough to start this thread, knowing what the reaction would be, is a stalker red-flag, regardless of your opinion. If you had actually dealt with stalkers it might lend some credence to your arguments. As is, you sound like many of the men on this board. Oh, WE think it's ok, so it must be, regardless of what 99% of the women we are interacting with think or say. Ignorant.
Also, my experiences and those of my peers, show a pattern in male behavior, which does justify my comments. If you and everyone you know gets burned by a hot stove, say 100+ times over the years, it is a GOOD educated guess that it's gonna happen again if you touch said stove. :O
Stalker paranoia has become a problem itself over past decades. Calling any man who gives a woman more than usual attention a stalker belittles the term "stalker". A stalker is someone who follows, watches and calls a woman all the time and possibly poses a threat, not just someone who thinks about her and calls or visits her a lot (that might be annoying, but it's not a threat). A paranoid police-caller is just as freaky and dangerous as a stalker. So, when one "curious guy" called as soon as I walked in the door everyday to tell me what I was wearing, that'd be a stalker right? When he skulked up dark alleys following me, that'd qualify? What about curious guy #2 who peeked in my windows and beat on my door till I had to call the police, or let's hear it for CG #3 who found out every phone # I had for years, even when it wasn't in my name and was unlisted and somehow found out my schedule and got in nearly every class I had. CG #4 broke in my apt and waited on me with a knife and a gun (requirements in any curious guys toolkit), then proceded to try to beat me to death and rape me. CG #5 who showed up at my office job and the mall, and finally ended up outside my apt with his pants down, staring in my windows and whacking it, late one night.
Oh, this isn't even getting into some of my co-workers who had WAAAY worse experiences than I did. They gave #'s out or met OTC and that caused even more escalation. One had her house burned down. One was stabbed. One's bf was shot.
This is just a small sampling of what I've seen/heard over the years from "curious guys." Don't sit up on your moral high-horse and act like something is wrong with ME for pointing it out when someone is obviously walking the thin line of obsession. (No, I'm not saying Everyman is there, but acting like we should ignore indicators of obssesive behaviors is dangerous at best.)
You guys piss me the fuck off lately! You post your petty little threads like "Disconnect," but then god fucking forbid a dancer brings up the seedier side of clubs and customers that she has seen. Well, this is a DANCERS forum. You don't get to take over and decide what is appropriate to be posted. We don't HAVE to protect your delicate little male feelings here so get the fuck over it! You bring your goddamn male egos into the mix and act like it's your damn board lately. Oh and, guess what? Customers are MUCH more likely to behave inappropriately in clubs than dancers. Yep, I said it. Most of the ladies here seem to be the more upscale and clean dancers, while I don't think most men that went looking for a stripper site are exactly the LEAST likely to be obsessive. ::) We aren't perfect, but neither are you hypocrites.
sxcbbw
02-20-2010, 07:10 AM
oh c'mon sxcbbw- you totally want a 45 yr old BF. ;) Don't lie.
Hey, who said relationship? :-* It's just that time of the month where I want to bang everything that moves.
I just need laid. *frantic phonecalls* :'(
Hopper
02-20-2010, 07:59 AM
So I'm supposed to write a lab report on every comment made here? Must I include graphs or tables? LMFAO Whateves.
Just a rational appraisal of the facts.
Really? How exactly do you know how she feels? Often times girls try to ignore obsessive behavior for fear of "setting off" the guy. Strippers deal with this so often it's not even funny.
How would the girl know about EM's "obsession"? All EM did was buy LDs and sit with her. She chose to sit with him. That is the reason he is "obsessing" about her. That means he sat with him before he started "obsessing" with her.
This is getting like damn Sesame Street.
I suppose she gave him her phone number and FB account and asked him to have lunch with her to avoid "setting him off" too.
Obsessing is a hairsbreath behind stalking, and being "curious" enough to start this thread, knowing what the reaction would be, is a stalker red-flag, regardless of your opinion. If you had actually dealt with stalkers it might lend some credence to your arguments. As is, you sound like many of the men on this board. Oh, WE think it's ok, so it must be, regardless of what 99% of the women we are interacting with think or say. Ignorant.
Obsessing over a woman is far from stalking. EM couldn't have known what the reaction would be because he couldn't have predicted that what he is doing could be confused with stalking. I've seen many other customer threads querying stripper behaviour toward the customer and about dating strippers and such. Why is this one being singled out as a red flag?
Also, my experiences and those of my peers, show a pattern in male behavior, which does justify my comments. If you and everyone you know gets burned by a hot stove, say 100+ times over the years, it is a GOOD educated guess that it's gonna happen again if you touch said stove. :O
So, when one "curious guy" called as soon as I walked in the door everyday to tell me what I was wearing, that'd be a stalker right? When he skulked up dark alleys following me, that'd qualify? What about curious guy #2 who peeked in my windows and beat on my door till I had to call the police, or let's hear it for CG #3 who found out every phone # I had for years, even when it wasn't in my name and was unlisted and somehow found out my schedule and got in nearly every class I had. CG #4 broke in my apt and waited on me with a knife and a gun (requirements in any curious guys toolkit), then proceded to try to beat me to death and rape me. CG #5 who showed up at my office job and the mall, and finally ended up outside my apt with his pants down, staring in my windows and whacking it, late one night.
Oh, this isn't even getting into some of my co-workers who had WAAAY worse experiences than I did. They gave #'s out or met OTC and that caused even more escalation. One had her house burned down. One was stabbed. One's bf was shot.
Yes, they all sound like stalkers, but nothing like EM.
You are implying the logic that because stalkers are curious, all curious people are stalkers. The early signs of stalking are probably similar to regular types of attention, but attention alone does not indicate stalking. It serves you as a caution but it doesn't actually indicate anything about the person as you claim it does with EM.
This is just a small sampling of what I've seen/heard over the years from "curious guys." Don't sit up on your moral high-horse and act like something is wrong with ME for pointing it out when someone is obviously walking the thin line of obsession. (No, I'm not saying Everyman is there, but acting like we should ignore indicators of obssesive behaviors is dangerous at best.)
So do you think EM is "there" or not? Make up your mind. He isn't indicating obsessive behaviour so there is no danger.
Stalkers are of course obsessive, but not all obsessives are stalkers. Stalking is an extreme and unhinged action on an obsession. It's not the obsession which is dangerous, it's the lack of restraint on the part of the stalker which is dangerous. Also depends on the degree of obsession. Obsession can mean a range of things. I don't think EM is near the stalker end. He doesn't sound obsessed at all.
And you study brain science.
You guys piss me the fuck off lately! You post your petty little threads like "Disconnect," but then god fucking forbid a dancer brings up the seedier side of clubs and customers that she has seen. Well, this is a DANCERS forum. You don't get to take over and decide what is appropriate to be posted. We don't HAVE to protect your delicate little male feelings here so get the fuck over it! You bring your goddamn male egos into the mix and act like it's your damn board lately.
I'm nt denying that many SC customers are seedy. Just that it is not fair to characterise EM as seedy. My argument with you is nothing to do with male ego, it's to do with fairness. Nor am I dictating or "taking over" just by disagreeig with you. You are the one dictating by telling EM what his motives are.
Oh and, guess what? Customers are MUCH more likely to behave inappropriately in clubs than dancers. Yep, I said it. Most of the ladies here seem to be the more upscale and clean dancers, while I don't think most men that went looking for a stripper site are exactly the LEAST likely to be obsessive. ::) We aren't perfect, but neither are you hypocrites.
Obsessive because we looked for a stripper website? I found this site while looking for info on local SCs, not because I was looking to stalk strippers. SCs are interesting places, so of course I found it interesting to read. What's your point? Next you'll say we are obsessive for actually going to SCs.
Everyman
02-20-2010, 09:15 AM
Princess, I don't take any offense to your position. I'm nothing like the stalkers you mention, and I bet if you met me you'd like me. When I was younger, I held the opinion that old strip club day visitors were sad and pathetic. You seem to be of the same orientation -- it's not far from sad and pathetic to obsessive and creepy. I now have a lot more nuanced view.
I like the girl. I'm not stupid or crazy enough to do anything unwanted.
rockie
02-20-2010, 10:10 AM
WC101 & Hopper: I'm disappointed that you haven't used your SW/CSI investigative network to resolve Everyman's question?::)
Almost Jaded
02-20-2010, 10:53 AM
Hopper - dude, I love you, but you're doing that foot-in-mouth thing again. Bad.
PJ - my opinion of you as a woman and a dancer has risen several levels after that last post. Any woman worthy of that kind of stalker attention must be something else indeed! I'm off the next couple of days... (goes to find stalker kit) :P
Everyone else - EM has chilled out, restted over and over that he's cautiously optimistic about this girl but it also seems he's being pretty realistic about the situation.
So all that's left is to finish the age gap debate. :evil:
KS_Stevia
02-20-2010, 12:24 PM
I don't quite get the stalker parallel either. Sorry jas, this time I just couldn't follow. I've been stalked for real, and I imagine you've had some experience with this as well. And there is nothing that weird in his behavior, just a Reg in Lust if ya ask me.
mediocrity
02-20-2010, 02:06 PM
So what's your point? She never said she wanted a 45 yr old boyfriend, I never said I wanted a 19-20 year old girlfriend, or how old I was. She merely said she liked my pictures, and I said I was hanging out with a 19 year old. Do you have some kind of problem with that?
I was totally just teasing her, hence the wink.
JayATee
02-20-2010, 02:07 PM
The way these thread seem to always devolve amazes me.
Almost Jaded
02-20-2010, 02:54 PM
The way these thread seem to always devolve amazes me.
Everything is a de-evolution to one such as you. We mortals can strive only toward a lesser failure in your ever patient and tolerant eyes.
:D
KS_Stevia
02-20-2010, 03:25 PM
:butthead::bullwhip:
Everything is a de-evolution to one such as you. We mortals can strive only toward a lesser failure in your ever patient and tolerant eyes.
:D
JayATee
02-20-2010, 03:27 PM
Everything is a de-evolution to one such as you. We mortals can strive only toward a lesser failure in your ever patient and tolerant eyes.
:D
It's true. Not everyone can be as perfect as I.
princessjas
02-20-2010, 04:29 PM
I don't quite get the stalker parallel either. Sorry jas, this time I just couldn't follow. I've been stalked for real, and I imagine you've had some experience with this as well. And there is nothing that weird in his behavior, just a Reg in Lust if ya ask me.
The only regulars that asked around about me a lot and to strangers turned into stalkers. Posting this where he knew he'd get flamed seems a little more than just a casual question to a good friend. (and a little different than a newbie to the board stumbling on here and asking that question not knowing what the result would be.) It just reminds me of the way a few of those guys started out. I wasn't trying to say that he is for sure headed there...just that he should watch it, because once a lot of regs start asking around, pondering things and seeing you several times a week, it quickly spirals out of control.
Hopper
02-20-2010, 06:33 PM
Hopper - dude, I love you, but you're doing that foot-in-mouth thing again. Bad.
...
Which part? I'm twice as worried this time because I can't see it.
KS_Stevia
02-20-2010, 06:58 PM
The only regulars that asked around about me a lot and to strangers turned into stalkers. Posting this where he knew he'd get flamed seems a little more than just a casual question to a good friend. (and a little different than a newbie to the board stumbling on here and asking that question not knowing what the result would be.) It just reminds me of the way a few of those guys started out. I wasn't trying to say that he is for sure headed there...just that he should watch it, because once a lot of regs start asking around, pondering things and seeing you several times a week, it quickly spirals out of control.
I don't know, a lot of customers wanted to know about my real life. They almost always got a story, and none of them stalked me. Then again, I never told a custy that I loved or cared for them, was not my hustle.
**I've never been stalked by a custy, ever, I was lucky.**
Hopper
02-20-2010, 08:22 PM
The only regulars that asked around about me a lot and to strangers turned into stalkers. Posting this where he knew he'd get flamed seems a little more than just a casual question to a good friend. (and a little different than a newbie to the board stumbling on here and asking that question not knowing what the result would be.)
The question is why should he be flamed for this question and why should he worry if people do? You should be telling the flamers to shut up. He wasn't flamed for allegedly stalking - it was about falling for the girl's hustle and the girl being underage in a afew people's opinions. The only person here who has said anything about stalking was you, and that was on page three on about your third or fourth, and only because (a you told us) you posted in a hurry.
This is the type of question that often gets asked by customers at this site. Asking here is not the same as "asking around" about the girl where she works or lives.
It just reminds me of the way a few of those guys started out. I wasn't trying to say that he is for sure headed there...just that he should watch it, because once a lot of regs start asking around, pondering things and seeing you several times a week, it quickly spirals out of control.
Of course stalkers start out this way. What for normal men is a natural infatuation "spirals" into stalking for men with problems. It need not come up at all unless there is reason to believe the man has such a problem. Isn't it normal for some customers to see the same stripper several times a week?
Almost Jaded
02-20-2010, 09:51 PM
KS_Stevia - your location isn't in your profile, so how are we supposed to know where go to begin the hunt? :P
Hopper - Most of it, lol. Note that you and I share many points of view and positions on things, but I manage to be... Well, less disliked, lol. It;s all in presentation. ;)
Hopper
02-20-2010, 10:45 PM
KS_Stevia - your location isn't in your profile, so how are we supposed to know where go to begin the hunt? :P
Hopper - Most of it, lol. Note that you and I share many points of view and positions on things, but I manage to be... Well, less disliked, lol. It;s all in presentation. ;)
Okay but I don't see anything controversial in what I said, unlike in the other thread I was roundly attacked in some time ago. I don't see the need for tact. I can't do anything about other people being uptight. It's not like I have to live with any of the people here. I'm not doing anything I can get kicked for.
Djoser
02-21-2010, 12:46 AM
I was totally just teasing her, hence the wink.
Ah, cool. Thanks for explaining. I'll remember that including a wink means the poster is totally just teasing, so whatever they say about you is alright. ;)
Almost Jaded
02-21-2010, 02:53 AM
Not ANYTHING goes with a wink; just most. To get away with absolutely ANYTHING, you follow it with "bless his/her/there heart(s)". Nobody's allowed to get mad at what you say if you say that afterward.
Any southerners wanna back me up on that? LMAO
pussyinboots
02-21-2010, 03:21 AM
Not ANYTHING goes with a wink; just most. To get away with absolutely ANYTHING, you follow it with "bless his/her/there heart(s)". Nobody's allowed to get mad at what you say if you say that afterward.
Any southerners wanna back me up on that? LMAO
The same goes over here in the UK too.....Oh - and I'm in the South of the UK!;)
WiseGuy_TX
02-21-2010, 06:14 AM
Not ANYTHING goes with a wink; just most. To get away with absolutely ANYTHING, you follow it with "bless his/her/there heart(s)". Nobody's allowed to get mad at what you say if you say that afterward.
Any southerners wanna back me up on that? LMAO...Cyril is one insane, ignorant, fucked up piece of shit,....bless his heart.;)
AJ, it seems to be working down in Texas.:D
princessjas
02-21-2010, 08:03 AM
The question is why should he be flamed for this question and why should he worry if people do? You should be telling the flamers to shut up. He wasn't flamed for allegedly stalking - it was about falling for the girl's hustle and the girl being underage in a afew people's opinions. The only person here who has said anything about stalking was you, and that was on page three on about your third or fourth, and only because (a you told us) you posted in a hurry.
This is the type of question that often gets asked by customers at this site. Asking here is not the same as "asking around" about the girl where she works or lives.
Of course stalkers start out this way. What for normal men is a natural infatuation "spirals" into stalking for men with problems. It need not come up at all unless there is reason to believe the man has such a problem. Isn't it normal for some customers to see the same stripper several times a week?
Yes, and since then I have explained WHY this sorta thing bothers me and why I don't think it should be hushed up when girls get a weird vibe from a guy. Oh, and the only part that I was talking about when I said I posted in a hurry was where I assumed that the girl in question really was an innocent co-ed. My first club was full of em and trust me, none of us acted like what EM was explaining.
I personally don't give a shit what your opinion of what should be posted is anyway. Yanno why? You are not a dancer. You don't get to choose what is posted on this board. If you think I shouldn't post something, well I could care less.
Oh, and I respect your opinion even less because the person you PM'ed forever ago after getting into it with me in the underage girl fucking thread, saying all women should basically be barefoot and preggo all the time and not allowed an education was a friend of mine. ;) Ya, you really shouldn't even be allowed to speak to women since you obviously have no respect for us. I gauge the value of your posts accordingly.
Now, I'll reiterate one last time. I AM NOT saying EM is a stalker. Just that asking around like this seemed to be the halmark of every idiot who went nuts over me. As Kat mentioned, ya, I've had guys ask about me a lot, they usually asked me or my manager. The ONLY ones that discussed me with a lot of people in the club that they did not know ended up scaring the crap outta me. Asking on here, seemed similar to that...asking a lot of people he doesn't know and discussing the girl and her actions quiet a bit to a lot of people that he KNEW wouldn't be responsive to the question. Different scenario where it is the internet tho, so hard to compare accurately. One thing to note though, YOU have made a much bigger deal about it than I did, as you generally do with anything I post that you disagree with. If I hadn't had to explain WHY I posted it a dozen times it would have barely been a footnote in this thread.
If I warned him to watch it and that slaps enough realily into the situation to avoid something that might have been bad for him and her, I don't see where that is bad. :P It isn't like I was pointing a flaming red arrow at him screaming stalker. I simply warned to watch it....which I wholeheartedly stand by and would do again.
ETA - Oh, and before anyone jumps me over this, I have no issues with the girl being 19. That wasn't even close to what the whole threadjack was about. Insinuating I haz issues with age differences as several have done in the past is actually pretty damn comical.
Djoser
02-21-2010, 12:44 PM
Because of my profound shame, I've actually reported myself to Gloria Steinem to beg her forgiveness.
Since you forgot to include a wink smiley in this post, I'll be watching your ass from now on...
;)
Almost Jaded
02-21-2010, 01:12 PM
Djoser always posts great stuff, but sometimes he can be SUCH an asshole, bless his heart! ;)
Djoser
02-21-2010, 01:25 PM
Ok, you're fucking banned. Forgetting to include the smiley again...
Almost Jaded
02-21-2010, 01:35 PM
I edited it and added a wink after the bless your heart, you are now powerless. :P
Djoser
02-21-2010, 01:37 PM
I edited it and added a wink after the bless your heart, you are now powerless. :P
:rotfl:
Everyman
02-21-2010, 05:49 PM
Talk about a threadjack. Get a room, you 2.
(;
Everyman
02-22-2010, 03:03 PM
She doesn't like me. Well she does, but not in "that way". Big convo last night. Oh well.
Guess what? No train wreck.
mediocrity
02-22-2010, 03:18 PM
I feel like saying of course she didn't.
Almost Jaded
02-22-2010, 03:22 PM
You forgot to add a smilie. Tongue sticking out would ave been appropriate. Maybe zipperface. Rolleyes always works in those situations, too. ;D
mediocrity
02-22-2010, 03:24 PM
^ I would have totally used one if I felt it was appropriate.
Almost Jaded
02-22-2010, 03:27 PM
A smiley is always appropriate. There's one for everything. That's why there're so damn many out there.
Just trying to stay on topic, you understand. :P
yoda57us
02-22-2010, 04:43 PM
She doesn't like me. Well she does, but not in "that way". Big convo last night. Oh well.
Guess what? No train wreck.
So now the question is will you continue to spend money on her at the rate you have been?
Everyman
02-22-2010, 05:08 PM
So now the question is will you continue to spend money on her at the rate you have been?
That's the current intention, but your guess is as good as mine how long it will last.
yoda57us
02-22-2010, 05:42 PM
That's the current intention, but your guess is as good as mine how long it will last.
I guess I'm trying to understand what your criteria is for spending well and keeping an ATF around. Is OTC always a goal? A requirement?
Everyman
02-22-2010, 05:57 PM
I guess I'm trying to understand what your criteria is for spending well and keeping an ATF around. Is OTC always a goal? A requirement?
I don't know that I have criteria. I usually spend my money on Flavor of The Week. My first hard-core reg, we became IRL friends, no more club, and still are. My 2nd, she wouldn't do OTC, and she moved to Vegas before it became a real fish-or-cut-bait issue. This girl is just my 3rd.
I guess when I like a person, I see no reason not to see them IRL. Of course, they have their own reasons and motivations.
JayATee
02-23-2010, 03:00 PM
She doesn't like me. Well she does, but not in "that way". Big convo last night. Oh well.
Guess what? No train wreck.
Duh....
princessjas
02-23-2010, 07:18 PM
I'm glad there was no trainwreck and that you seem to be taking it well. It sucks for everyone involved when we manage to do our jobs a bit too well.
hello-kitty
02-23-2010, 08:04 PM
She doesn't like me. Well she does, but not in "that way". Big convo last night. Oh well.
Guess what? No train wreck.
hahaha..
WestCoast101
02-23-2010, 10:09 PM
Definitely an RIL situation at some level, otherwise you wouldn't give a damn whether she liked you THAT way or not.
The next question is what happens when an RIL finds himself on a one way street where the dancer herself has been dumb enough to spell it out? More experienced dancers keep the mystery alive alot longer.
Fortunately "make out" style dancers are all over the place now, some selective and some not, but you always need backups
Almost Jaded
02-23-2010, 10:14 PM
It sucks for everyone involved when we manage to do our jobs a bit too well.
Meh. I hate that.
Everyman
02-24-2010, 03:47 PM
I guess I don't like the RIL label because I know what love, real love, is. And I don't go looking for it in a strip club.
I was infatuated and interested. So I'll admit to being a RII&I. But love? Hardly.
Everyman
02-24-2010, 03:51 PM
hahaha..
You're a sweetheart.
hello-kitty
02-24-2010, 04:28 PM
^You're disgusting.
mediocrity
02-24-2010, 04:36 PM
^^ I quite literally, squealed, laughed and kicked my feet in the air at that exchange. I'm immature.
But hello-kitty is right.
Everyman
02-24-2010, 04:52 PM
^You're disgusting.
That is literally hilarious, all things considered.
ROFLMAO is usually just a trite internet expression, but for once it's really true. Except for the ass part. :D