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wednesday86
09-27-2014, 02:11 PM
^Be careful what you wish for. I've been both a SAHW and SAHM and it was sooo damn boring....There's a reason most SAHW/SAHMs are miserable, pill popping cunts. haha

fishielicious
09-27-2014, 02:17 PM
^Be careful what you wish for. I've been both a SAHW and SAHM and it was sooo damn boring....There's a reason most SAHW/SAHMs are miserable, pill popping cunts. haha
LOL I know it's not a reasonable aspiration. Just, I hate being so busy right now. My body hurts, I'm tired all the time. Not that lots of SAHWs/SAHMs aren't really busy, too, but I'm so worn out by my schedule right now. I like being able to be out and about during the day without an office or club I have to be locked up in the dark in lol. If I actually got this wish I'm sure I'd get bored in like a week, though.

I guess really I just need a vacation!

chanzep
09-27-2014, 07:52 PM
I have been dreaming about not working too!, a few years ago I was really stressed and took like 6 months off and lived off savings it was great and I wish I could do that right now.

Aniela
09-27-2014, 10:20 PM
The rage over my ex kicked in tonite & it's been simmering for hrs now. It's not the breakup that's got me upset so much as his behaviour leading up to it. He was one of maybe three ppl I honestly believed would nvr do the things he did. I have not contacted him since my final email, & not going to -- but GodDAMN I just want so badly to say all of the most hurtful things I can think of & make him feel like the lowest piece of shit ever. I want to throttle his brother & his cousin bc I see them as being partly responsible since they encourage his bad behaviour.

Even tho logically, I know it's the normal breakup process -- in between feeling furious I am hating myself for feeling so angry, even tho I know he's earned it. I guess I feel bad bc I still don't understand why the guy who was my friend did these things & I feel bad for hating him.

wednesday86
09-28-2014, 07:57 AM
Had a close call last night with my husband's friends partying in the same town as my club. I think they may have stopped by after I left but I didn't see them.

My confession: I think most of my husband's friends are losers. Most of them are in their 30s, are single, work dead end jobs, are really immature and still go out and party all the time like they're 22. It's just sad to me. They always post on fb every other day like "oo we're at such and such bar getting wasted lol! Bros before Hoes!" and I'm just like "You're 35 dude...and who are these 'hoes' you keep talking about? You haven't had a girlfriend in 3 years." I'll be happy when I get my husband away from these guys and he can make friends with ADULTS.

audrey_k
09-28-2014, 09:26 AM
I feel like something has changed in me in the last 4 weeks and I'm having a hard time going back to escorting. The idea of doing it makes me feel icky. Which is so bizarre considering how much I worked over the summer! I saw my first client yesterday and was awkward, uncomfortable, if he wasn't one of my longest regs I don't know if I could have done it. I don't know if I'm just nervous about going back after being off a while, if dating someone is changing my perspective, if nervousness about my BA or my body is making me feel awkward, or if something has really changed inside of me, but ugh. I have to go back to work next week, I already have 7 people booked, and I need the money, but I don't want to. I really want to go back to dancing, but the money is just consistent enough in London to go straight back without doing at least a few weeks of escorting.

lovelydancer
09-28-2014, 10:06 AM
I did something really, REALLY stupid about a week or so ago (about when my depression hit its all-time low).

I've always been a clean dancer and have taken pride in that. However between some of the struggles I've been dealing with in my personal life, and my home club being super dead lately I've been getting blasted on alcohol at work to temporarily numb myself. I let my depression cloud my judgment get the best of me one night and I did an extra with a couple in a VIP room. I immediately regretted it, and have felt horrible about it ever since. I've never even done anything remotely dirty in clubs before that night (or after), so to have let myself do something soooooo stupid and wrong it makes me sick.

Not only that, I think my Manager knows about it (there's cameras in all of the rooms). He hinted at it BIGTIME last night. It makes me feel even worse because I know that club trusted me before and now if they do know all of my credibility is out the window over one awful mistake. Idk if I should just come clean about it, keep it to myself, idk what to do. I wish I could take it back.

Kellydancer
09-28-2014, 11:12 AM
I am going to do online again but with a twist. No more looking for relationships, this time it's either sex or money. I'm obviously not relationship material to men so why bother? I was hoping to find a decent man but those are hard to find.

Vyanka
09-28-2014, 05:13 PM
I am going to do online again but with a twist. No more looking for relationships, this time it's either sex or money. I'm obviously not relationship material to men so why bother? I was hoping to find a decent man but those are hard to find.

Girl. Go strictly for money. Sex a hot youngin'.

ava$
09-28-2014, 05:22 PM
I did something really, REALLY stupid about a week or so ago (about when my depression hit its all-time low).

I've always been a clean dancer and have taken pride in that. However between some of the struggles I've been dealing with in my personal life, and my home club being super dead lately I've been getting blasted on alcohol at work to temporarily numb myself. I let my depression cloud my judgment get the best of me one night and I did an extra with a couple in a VIP room. I immediately regretted it, and have felt horrible about it ever since. I've never even done anything remotely dirty in clubs before that night (or after), so to have let myself do something soooooo stupid and wrong it makes me sick.

Not only that, I think my Manager knows about it (there's cameras in all of the rooms). He hinted at it BIGTIME last night. It makes me feel even worse because I know that club trusted me before and now if they do know all of my credibility is out the window over one awful mistake. Idk if I should just come clean about it, keep it to myself, idk what to do. I wish I could take it back.

I say don't come clean, just pretend it didn't happen and don't do anything resembling whatever it was again. In time they may see that it isn't who you are and may even forget about it themselves in time as their attention is shifted to all the other girls who do extras..

ava$
09-28-2014, 05:23 PM
I did something really, REALLY stupid about a week or so ago (about when my depression hit its all-time low).

I've always been a clean dancer and have taken pride in that. However between some of the struggles I've been dealing with in my personal life, and my home club being super dead lately I've been getting blasted on alcohol at work to temporarily numb myself. I let my depression cloud my judgment get the best of me one night and I did an extra with a couple in a VIP room. I immediately regretted it, and have felt horrible about it ever since. I've never even done anything remotely dirty in clubs before that night (or after), so to have let myself do something soooooo stupid and wrong it makes me sick.

Not only that, I think my Manager knows about it (there's cameras in all of the rooms). He hinted at it BIGTIME last night. It makes me feel even worse because I know that club trusted me before and now if they do know all of my credibility is out the window over one awful mistake. Idk if I should just come clean about it, keep it to myself, idk what to do. I wish I could take it back.

I say don't come clean, just pretend it didn't happen and don't do anything resembling whatever it was again. In time they may see that it isn't who you are and may even forget about it themselves in time as their attention is shifted to all the other girls who do extras..

Kellydancer
09-28-2014, 07:31 PM
Girl. Go strictly for money. Sex a hot youngin'.

Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I seem to attract sexy young men not looking for a relationship so why not? I do have a younger guy interested in sex with me. Then I can date the older men for gifts and whatnot. Yeah, I may regret it but I figure we both get something out of it. As long as he knows the score, I would feel bad if he developed feelings.

Jay12
09-28-2014, 07:43 PM
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I seem to attract sexy young men not looking for a relationship so why not? I do have a younger guy interested in sex with me. Then I can date the older men for gifts and whatnot. Yeah, I may regret it but I figure we both get something out of it. As long as he knows the score, I would feel bad if he developed feelings.

Embrace that inner cougar of yours! Get yourself with a young dude and "mold" him the way you want. You CAN create your ideal man. After all, age is just a number.

Jay12
09-28-2014, 07:48 PM
Had a close call last night with my husband's friends partying in the same town as my club. I think they may have stopped by after I left but I didn't see them.

My confession: I think most of my husband's friends are losers. Most of them are in their 30s, are single, work dead end jobs, are really immature and still go out and party all the time like they're 22. It's just sad to me. They always post on fb every other day like "oo we're at such and such bar getting wasted lol! Bros before Hoes!" and I'm just like "You're 35 dude...and who are these 'hoes' you keep talking about? You haven't had a girlfriend in 3 years." I'll be happy when I get my husband away from these guys and he can make friends with ADULTS.


I thought I was the only one with this complain, but reading how your husband's friends act in comparison to my husband's friends...I'd say that his friends (nerds who are into board games and "moe" anime girls) are rather tame compared to your man's.


After all, they do spoil me with anime and video games for birthday and holiday so, I shouldn't be complaining about them.

Vyanka
09-28-2014, 07:50 PM
Embrace that inner cougar of yours! Get yourself with a young dude and "mold" him the way you want. You CAN create your ideal man. After all, age is just a number.

Lol. Funny you say that. My bff who is 33, loves them younger and she says the same thing about molding. I'm not into younger guys at all, but I think I may be open to it and see.

I did bang a really good looking German model who is 11-12(?) Years younger. Kid is so fkn hot! Lol. I couldn't say no to that. Jesus.

Kellydancer
09-28-2014, 08:34 PM
Yeah plus they are way hotter. If men can date younger so can we.

Jay12
09-28-2014, 09:09 PM
Lol. Funny you say that. My bff who is 33, loves them younger and she says the same thing about molding. I'm not into younger guys at all, but I think I may be open to it and see.

I did bang a really good looking German model who is 11-12(?) Years younger. Kid is so fkn hot! Lol. I couldn't say no to that. Jesus.

Germans are kinky; they're my favorite ethnicity when it comes to men.

charlie61
09-28-2014, 09:09 PM
A part of me feels that I should dance again, but another part of me feels too burned out to do it again successfully.

Exactly.

SimoneGray
09-29-2014, 02:15 AM
I confess that it has been 2 years since I had a sexual encounter that made me feel like a human and not a piece of meat. FML. I think this is why I never want to have sex again and really struggle with the concept of having to have sex with a bf or whatever in the future.

SweetJulia
09-29-2014, 07:25 AM
^^^I feel your pain. I've had two guys able to get me off. That's it. I'll be 30 soon. Others seem to watch too much porn or act like jerks. Without getting graphic, have you tried to explain to them exactly what makes you feel like a human being and ask them to do it?

audrey_k
09-29-2014, 08:00 AM
^guys just don't get that at least 75% of women do NOT come from intercourse. I hate that I have to have an actual conversation about it with 85% of the guys I've slept with an assure them it's normal. Like is it really that complicated?

I don't know if I blame porn or the millions of women faking orgasms out there.

wednesday86
09-29-2014, 08:17 AM
My confession.. I can't believe I am even admitting this... but for some crazy reason I feel attracted to my regular! He's not my type AT ALL. He's way older than me-definitely at least in his 40s, white, from Turkey. Maybe it's the accent, or just how nice and respectful he is + the fact that he always pays me in $100 bills because he knows I think they're pretty. My husband has been a little distant lately so I probably just need more attention from him. I feel so guilty about it, but maybe it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. I haven't crossed any personal boundaries or anything, but I was enjoying those LD's a little too much last night. Lol!

charlie61
09-29-2014, 09:35 AM
My confession.. I can't believe I am even admitting this... but for some crazy reason I feel attracted to my regular! He's not my type AT ALL. He's way older than me-definitely at least in his 40s, white, from Turkey. Maybe it's the accent, or just how nice and respectful he is + the fact that he always pays me in $100 bills because he knows I think they're pretty. My husband has been a little distant lately so I probably just need more attention from him. I feel so guilty about it, but maybe it's not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. I haven't crossed any personal boundaries or anything, but I was enjoying those LD's a little too much last night. Lol!

Money might be the ultimate aphrodisiac. Trust me, you're in good company. I think we can all remember times when we've confused our interest in money and attention for true attraction..

wednesday86
09-29-2014, 10:56 AM
^thanks Charlie. I think you're right. He kind of channels that Russian guy that Carey Bradshaw was dating in Sex and the City-he's got the sexy, European, old fashioned gentleman thing going on...and damn it I'm only human! Lol! But if he wasn't paying me so much $ just to basically stare into my eyes and tell me how awesome I am, he'd be just another guy and I wouldn't give him a second thought.

audrey_k
09-29-2014, 01:10 PM
I wish that I could apply the great understanding of dynamics in other people's interpersonal relationships to own life... One of my best friends back home is having major problems with her boyfriend and has been talking me to about it all weekend, and another friend of mine is having major problems with her parents and has been talking to me as well. My advice is so awesome and on-point. But can I do that with my own relationships? Nope. I wish I could give myself as good advice as I give other people. But I guess it's easier to see things clearly when you're on the outside.

simone87
09-29-2014, 04:17 PM
so my dad was talking to my bf and (according to my bf) alluded to the fact that he didn't understand why somebody who had a college education and travelled the world would date me. idk if he meant it like that or if my bf misunderstood but its been really bothering me and making me feel so hurt and upset. its making me feel like an incredible loser , since i don't have a 4 year degree and i've been a stripper for over 3 years now..with not as much savings to show for it as i should. i'm not even working towards anything else!! *sigh*. i'm just so scared of school, and i mean scared shitless. i almost have a panic attack thinking about it, but then have another one thinking of what i'm going to do when i hit 40

fishielicious
09-29-2014, 04:59 PM
This is a TMI confession and not for the faint of heart, but I have this ingrown hair on my knee that got irritated, then infected, and now I'm worried it's staph. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning for it, but I had to miss class tonight because my knee just hurt too much. This is the class that I just turned in the opening of an essay about stripping for last week, and now I don't want to confess the real reason I'm missing class to my professor cause I'm worried he'll think I got the infection cause I'm some kind of "dirty stripper" and am probably going to contaminate everyone else. I definitely got some feelings of judgment in class last week. Really I think it's way more likely I got the infection from living with my roommate and her disgusting, unsanitary cat, and I'm so glad I just moved out of there this weekend.

I'm also concerned about how long this is going to take to heal. It was already starting to hurt when I worked Friday--I could barely do floor work all day, and that was wearing knee-high, padded socks to help protect it. I really can't afford to miss a lot of work, but also obviously I don't want to go in and spend the germs. Ugh I just feel so gross and embarrassed.

KikiGem
09-29-2014, 06:38 PM
I met my current love interest through craigslist.

About two months ago, I posted two ads because I was really.. in the mood. I totally whore'd it up that week and fucked like 4 guys I met through those ads. They were all duds, except for him. He rented a hotel for us the first night, then the next day he took me to one of his favorite nature spots. Three weeks later, we went to Colorado together with two of his other friends. They actually took a bus home halfway through the trip (we thought we had broke down so they just wanted to go home) but I stayed and we spent over a week together, just the two of us.

It's amazing how well we get along, and how he understands and accepts me. We're two little misfits who somehow fit perfectly together! At least I believe that to be true. I've never had anything like this before. I'm really, really hoping it will be one of those one-in-a-million stories, in which two people who were meant to be met under the oddest, most unlikely circumstances and fell in love despite all of it. He told me he loved me on the trip, and I actually feel the same way.

Because I've never cared for anyone like this, I'm so afraid that it's going to end and I'm going to have my heart broken. Every time we make plans, part of me worries he will not be there to meet me, and I'll find out that this whole time he's just been playing a cruel joke.

That part is kind of irrational, I know- but this is really something I want to last. We haven't put a label on what exactly it is we *are*, but if we end up not being together, I still want to know him and be friends. Deep down, I really don't believe I'm the kind of woman a man could ever love for the long-term. I'm sad, scared and happy right now. Best to just let things play out, and get on with my life in the meantime, I suppose.

Kellydancer
09-29-2014, 07:19 PM
I wish that I could apply the great understanding of dynamics in other people's interpersonal relationships to own life... One of my best friends back home is having major problems with her boyfriend and has been talking me to about it all weekend, and another friend of mine is having major problems with her parents and has been talking to me as well. My advice is so awesome and on-point. But can I do that with my own relationships? Nope. I wish I could give myself as good advice as I give other people. But I guess it's easier to see things clearly when you're on the outside.

Sounds like me. I always read all the advice here and always say things like "leave him" or "you deserve better". You in general of course. Then I look at my self and my own issue and would tell someone to give up. Yet because I like this guy I stick around and hope. Not that I'm waiting, I'm just not looking for anyone else. There's no other place to even look and when I look for someone I fail anyway.


so my dad was talking to my bf and (according to my bf) alluded to the fact that he didn't understand why somebody who had a college education and travelled the world would date me. idk if he meant it like that or if my bf misunderstood but its been really bothering me and making me feel so hurt and upset. its making me feel like an incredible loser , since i don't have a 4 year degree and i've been a stripper for over 3 years now..with not as much savings to show for it as i should. i'm not even working towards anything else!! *sigh*. i'm just so scared of school, and i mean scared shitless. i almost have a panic attack thinking about it, but then have another one thinking of what i'm going to do when i hit 40

Sorry you are going through this. I have a Masters but have never judged a guy on this unless he didn't have a high school diploma or GED. People are all kinds of smart, not always book smart and often a degree just means they completed the right classes. I know some idiots with a degree and some brains without. School isn't scary and you'll find the more you do it the easier it becomes.

AngelMari
09-29-2014, 08:41 PM
I made a custom video and then went to send it....realized I used the wrong name. I think I just fired myself lmao..now I have to redo it.

AngelMari
09-29-2014, 08:43 PM
I met my current love interest through craigslist.

About two months ago, I posted two ads because I was really.. in the mood. I totally whore'd it up that week and fucked like 4 guys I met through those ads. They were all duds, except for him. He rented a hotel for us the first night, then the next day he took me to one of his favorite nature spots. Three weeks later, we went to Colorado together with two of his other friends. They actually took a bus home halfway through the trip (we thought we had broke down so they just wanted to go home) but I stayed and we spent over a week together, just the two of us.

It's amazing how well we get along, and how he understands and accepts me. We're two little misfits who somehow fit perfectly together! At least I believe that to be true. I've never had anything like this before. I'm really, really hoping it will be one of those one-in-a-million stories, in which two people who were meant to be met under the oddest, most unlikely circumstances and fell in love despite all of it. He told me he loved me on the trip, and I actually feel the same way.

Because I've never cared for anyone like this, I'm so afraid that it's going to end and I'm going to have my heart broken. Every time we make plans, part of me worries he will not be there to meet me, and I'll find out that this whole time he's just been playing a cruel joke.

That part is kind of irrational, I know- but this is really something I want to last. We haven't put a label on what exactly it is we *are*, but if we end up not being together, I still want to know him and be friends. Deep down, I really don't believe I'm the kind of woman a man could ever love for the long-term. I'm sad, scared and happy right now. Best to just let things play out, and get on with my life in the meantime, I suppose.
I hope it works out and wish you the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MyButter
09-30-2014, 04:28 AM
Waahhahahahahaha. Orders to: Leemore California. Noooooooooooooooooooo

*punches the air*

audrey_k
10-01-2014, 04:54 PM
My new boyfriend and I went out tonight and started talking about work, and he told me he's not OK with escorting. I was fine with this, as to be honest, even though yes they're clients, I don't really like the idea of being with other men now that things have become more serious between us, and we agreed that it was OK if I went back for a month to build up my savings and heal a bit more before returning to stripping full time. But then he expressed serious doubts about being OK with stripping... he didn't say he wasn't OK with it, just not in the 'longterm.' What does that mean? Ugh. I'm worried. We've talked about this, he knows I want to go back to grad school in two years, but I DO want to dance for those two years. I thought I had finally found a man OK with sex work and I don't want this relationship to blow up in two months with him calling me a whore for being a stripper and walking out... been there, done that, got the t-shirt... I can't imagine him speaking to me that way or being like that, but I wouldn't have said that about my ex bfs either!

tantra4
10-01-2014, 06:22 PM
I don't get it, he's OK with you escorting for a month but not with you stripping? I would think escorting would be a bigger problem for a jealous bf, but what do I know.

audrey_k
10-01-2014, 06:36 PM
^he's OK with me escorting for one more month to ramp up my savings but then he wants me to quit... this I'm fine with, as that was my plan anyway, I feel like escorting was fun time to move on. I have expressed to him that I don't really want to return to it on a couple of occasions, so I think he felt OK bringing it up that he doesn't want me to return. But we talked about this in the beginning extensively and he said he was fine with escorting on two separate occasions, and tonight he was like "am I allowed to change my mind?" a part of me is like OK, yes you are, now that things have become more serious between us you're just not down with your girlfriend fucking other dudes, I understand that. Perhaps when you said it was OK you weren't sure where this was going. But another part of me is like uhhm no you're not! What else are you going to change your mind about?

I have been very firm about going back to dancing and he wasn't like "no you can't dance" he just said he doesn't like the idea of me doing it long-term. I don't like that idea either, to be honest, I've got another two years in me and then I'm done, but I'm not sure if we have the same ideas of what long-term is... he knows my plan is to return to grad school, but that's not for another two years. That's quite a long time.

I just hate how men can not deal with women being sex workers. Either it's the idea of being with a lowly stripper or a jealous issue. I honestly could care less if my man was stripping, I think it would be a turn on for me! Things may be fine, I may be overreacting to his comment. I wouldn't classify him as jealous, I mean he knows guys hit on me and it doesn't bother him, my computer cord broke last week and I was hoping it would be covered by warranty, and he told me to go to Apple store alone so I could flirt with the guy to get him to give me a new cord. But I've just never found a single guy who was OK with me being a stripper long term.

lynn2009
10-01-2014, 06:48 PM
I am stupid excited after having *successfully* parallel parked for the first time.

audrey_k
10-01-2014, 06:57 PM
^^Maybe he thinks that strippers are major party girls or something, like I think there's a major 'stripper lifestyle' stereotype. Maybe he thinks stripclubs are like crazy, wild parties and that you'll basically be 'clubbing' every night.

I don't understand the 'long term/short term' issue that he's having. He's basically saying that he doesn't approve of you stripping but if you can do it for a length of time that will end before he's totally lost his patience with the discomfort it makes him feel he can deal with it. Because morally it makes no sense; that's like saying 'it's morally okay to be a thief if it's only for the short term.' Either you're okay with something period or you're not.

I agree. I was just a bit shocked, like the escorting thing I saw coming 5 miles back... this jumped right in front of me.

Right now it's OK, so I guess there's nothing to do but wait and see. I mean, I know he would much rather prefer I didn't go back to escorting at all, but he's willing to be OK with it because I feel strongly that it's what is necessary for me right now, so I hope he can be the same about dancing. I didn't press the issue to see exactly what it is that bothers him, if it's that he feels insecure, he's worried about me running into his friends, doesn't like the idea of dating a stripper, thinks there's a stripper lifestyle, is worried about my mental health/safety, if he just wants to make sure that I'm going to have a career besides stripping... the list of reasons is so long, and I doubt I would have gotten a straight answer anyway, I never have with any man, and it doesn't seem like he knows exactly anyway. Either I'll return to dancing and he'll see that I'm not a part girl and am honestly a completely conventional and devoted girlfriend, or if it bothers him, I assume the reason will come out when I return to work and we'll either deal with it... or we won't. Which would suck, as he's awesome, but I feel very strongly about dancing for the next two years and I'm not going to give it up for anyone.

I don't know. Just wanted to vent. :( Thanks guys.

Kellydancer
10-01-2014, 10:28 PM
Audrey, I ran into that all the time while dancing. I know some men realize it's just a job but many others assume the worst. I had such a hard time finding a boyfriend while dancing that I quit dating until I quit dancing. Hopefully, he'll realize it's just a job and only short term really. Good luck!

wednesday86
10-02-2014, 06:53 AM
Seeing my regular again tonight and yes, I'm excited about it.

My husband knows that something is up. We got in a big fight Tuesday because I told him that I don't feel like he's paying enough attention to me (I have NEVER felt anything for another man other than "oh he's cute" since we met.) Yesterday he comes home and asks if I'm interested in someone else. Eeeek.

I think the reason I'm feeling so attracted to my regular is mostly because he's well off. I daydream about what it would be like to be with someone who isn't broke, and who has some kind of financial ambition. My husband is a wonderful man, but he cannot provide and has made no attempt to step up even as we lived in poverty. It's a turn off and I'm over it. Sometimes I wish I had held out and married someone with money.

I love him but I feel alone, like i'm the only one that cares about our future. I buy all the baby's diapers, wipes, clothes, food. I give his parents money to help with groceries and utilities. I pay for gas, car maintenance, insurance, even his credit card bill. I've begged him for 2 years to get a better job, or go to a trade school. I've even offered to pay for it. He just refuses. I'm starting to get resentful. :(

AngelMari
10-02-2014, 07:13 AM
Seeing my regular again tonight and yes, I'm excited about it.

My husband knows that something is up. We got in a big fight Tuesday because I told him that I don't feel like he's paying enough attention to me (I have NEVER felt anything for another man other than "oh he's cute" since we met.) Yesterday he comes home and asks if I'm interested in someone else. Eeeek.

I think the reason I'm feeling so attracted to my regular is mostly because he's well off. I daydream about what it would be like to be with someone who isn't broke, and who has some kind of financial ambition. My husband is a wonderful man, but he cannot provide and has made no attempt to step up even as we lived in poverty. It's a turn off and I'm over it. Sometimes I wish I had held out and married someone with money.

I love him but I feel alone, like i'm the only one that cares about our future. I buy all the baby's diapers, wipes, clothes, food. I give his parents money to help with groceries and utilities. I pay for gas, car maintenance, insurance, even his credit card bill. I've begged him for 2 years to get a better job, or go to a trade school. I've even offered to pay for it. He just refuses. I'm starting to get resentful. :(

This was my ex, then I divorced him. He's still living with his dad and working min wage jobs. I think he's 40 now, or almost. As long as you support him he'll never change, see even now he mooches off his dad. Those kinda people will always find someone to leech off. Once he was gone I bought a house, car etc. life is easier when you don't have someone dragging you down. Feelings for your reg is a symptom of a bigger problem. Regardless just my two cents but I hope things work out whatever you choose

Aniela
10-02-2014, 09:34 AM
I have been trying to get in touch w/ my ex's Marine Corps recruiter. It's a last-ditch effort but it feels like such a bitch move to go behind his back like this.

Logically I know that if he has fallen back into his addictions, there is nothing I can do until he is ready to straighten himself out. But I can't just sit back & let him fk his life up for good until I exhaust every avenue I can find to help him. This is the last thing I can see. He has so much respect for his recruiter -- the guy was like his Yoda, I am hoping if I can explain to him what's been happening he will be able to get thru to him in whatever way I couldn't. This is the last thing I can see tho, if it doesn't work I think I will be fully out of moves.

wednesday86
10-02-2014, 12:28 PM
That would be such a huge turn-off for me. He honestly sounds like deadweight. He may be a nice guy, but there's like 150 million men in this country. You can find nice, driven guys.

Yeah I'm starting to figure that out..:/ Too bad this will be my 2nd failed marriage if it doesn't work out. I hope I can find a nice, driven guy that accepts my baggage if it comes to that. I'm not giving up so easily though. Going to try marriage counseling first. We have a baby together so I feel like I should try everything possible before I give up. Of course I will be paying for the marriage counseling because he can't pay for squat.

Tried to talk to him about this stuff today and he just said "No matter what I do you'll never be happy." UGH *EYE ROLL*

It sounds like he isn't interested in fixing it, which shouldn't surprise me. Even when we were on food stamps it didn't inspire him to even look for a better job, so why start now?

fishielicious
10-02-2014, 12:46 PM
I have been trying to get in touch w/ my ex's Marine Corps recruiter. It's a last-ditch effort but it feels like such a bitch move to go behind his back like this.

Logically I know that if he has fallen back into his addictions, there is nothing I can do until he is ready to straighten himself out. But I can't just sit back & let him fk his life up for good until I exhaust every avenue I can find to help him. This is the last thing I can see. He has so much respect for his recruiter -- the guy was like his Yoda, I am hoping if I can explain to him what's been happening he will be able to get thru to him in whatever way I couldn't. This is the last thing I can see tho, if it doesn't work I think I will be fully out of moves.
I don't think that sounds like a bitch move. I think it sounds like you're doing all you can to help someone who can't help himself. Hope things work out.

@Wednesday--Sorry to hear about your problems with your husband. I know you've mentioned before how you feel like you're carrying all the weight in the relationship. Sucks that he is having a hard time stepping up, but I hope y'all manage to work things out. Sorry girl :(

@Audrey--That's why I'm so wary of getting into a relationship. I'm not an escort, but I've had so much negative reaction to people finding out that I'm a stripper--I have yet to date a guy who I really think could handle that. I've been seeing a guy off-and-on who thinks I'm still a waitress at my club and even said something the last time we were together like, "Have you been learning from the strippers?" I think he thinks me being a waitress at a strip club is kind of sexy but I don't know how he'd react to knowing I was a stripper.

I hope things work out with your guy. It really is unfair that you've been nothing but honest with him and now he's suddenly flipping the script on you, as though he didn't know all of this when he got together with you. I guess I understand his feelings of jealousy, but he's basically asking you to sacrifice your independence.

Elektra Luxx
10-02-2014, 02:24 PM
My new boyfriend....told me he's not OK with escorting. I was fine with this, as to be honest, even though yes they're clients, I don't really like the idea of being with other men now that things have become more serious between us,

I never tell the guys I'm dating that I'm an escort. I told a 2 guys I was serious with because I thought they wouldn't flip-out, but they eventually did. I know now that guys can't handle things and are never in my life for very long anyway. I try to be honest with guys, mostly, but I never talk to them about escorting ever. I don't want them to ask me questions and get answers they are going to be uncomfortable about later. They don't understand that it's a job. Most of the the time, it's a fun job and the pay and the perks are really good. Sometimes it can become physically and mentally taxing, but overall the pay is really good, but still a job. Your post brings up my main worry, "am I ever going to find somebody to love me for who I am and not for I do". I also worry that after I decide to stop escorting, "am I still going to have to explain and apologize for my past as an escort". (Sorry, if I jacked this post)

audrey_k
10-02-2014, 04:35 PM
^I think it's almost impossible to find a man who's OK with escorting. I mean, stripping is one thing, but knowing that your girlfriend is sleeping with other men-- I'm sure there are some men out there who are perfectly OK with it and see the difference, but I think that's rare. But I'm too honest, I would never be able to date someone and not tell them what I do. I think it is probably better to wait longer but that wasn't really an option in this instance. Mine was fine with it in the beginning, he was even my safe call on a couple occasions when the girl I normally use wasn't available, and I would tell him funny stories about weirdo who tried to book me, but now he's changed his tune. I have to admit though, I'm a really boring and conventional person who believes in monogamy... when I'm with someone I really like, I don't want to be with anyone else. I wish I wasn't so old-fashioned honestly, I'm the weirdest escort ever, lol. And yeah, it's work, but it's a lot more personal than giving a lap dance. I really don't want to go back to work and if I had another financial option I would take it, and the only thing that's changed since I took time off is my relationship with him, so I feel like that must be it.

I don't think you're obligated to tell anyone that you were an escort if you quit and meet someone later, it's none of their damn business. I mean, unless it affects your relationship with them, there's no need to disclose that information if you're not comfortable. When I took my break from stripping I dated two guys, the first knew, I never told the second because it honestly never came up in conversation, I wasn't like creating elaborate stories and lying or anything, I just think it's a job and I also didn't tell him that I was a barista in high school or that I worked in the book store in college, like who cares? Escorting is hard because I don't think people realize how detached you can become from a client when you're sleeping with them, people just don't get it until they've done it.

SimoneGray
10-02-2014, 04:45 PM
I don't date because the last guy I told what I do (camming) said that he would totally cheat on me because of that...so its been a toss up between having a love life and making money. Oh well.

charlie61
10-02-2014, 04:53 PM
Back to the confessions, ladies! I'd love to see a (separate) thread on the topic at hand - seriously. It's a sticky issue!

charlie61
10-02-2014, 07:01 PM
I'm planning on working a shift in a club this week for the first time in over a year. If I make more in that shift than what I make in a couple of shifts at my day job (massage), I'm planning on quitting.

And I'm FREAKING OUUUUUUT!!! This job really fucked me up emotionally the last time I did it consistently. I am...afraid. Yep. I am actually afraid. :-[

lynn2009
10-02-2014, 07:16 PM
I'm planning on working a shift in a club this week for the first time in over a year. If I make more in that shift than what I make in a couple of shifts at my day job (massage), I'm planning on quitting.

And I'm FREAKING OUUUUUUT!!! This job really fucked me up emotionally the last time I did it consistently. I am...afraid. Yep. I am actually afraid. :-[

One shift is a really small sample size.

whirlerz
10-02-2014, 07:22 PM
I'm sure you'll Rock it Out, Char. Good luck!
Me: It's raining, & I want to go buy Allure Mag & eat chocolate, but don't wanna move my car/lose pkg spot. Why can't the damn gas station across the street, that I could walk to, carry it not just girlie mags? :(