View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
audrey_k
01-08-2015, 04:05 PM
I wish my boyfriend would come home from vacay so I can have sex. I haven't gone this long without having sex in a while and it's the one downside to being in a relationship, not just being able to go out and get laid.
Also, I just spent over two hours wrapping my boyfriend's xmas present... I have waaay too much time on my hands, I can't wait to go back to work next week!
lol1337a
01-09-2015, 02:52 AM
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SweetJulia
01-09-2015, 03:50 PM
I finally lost it re: roommate I've been bitching about. Gave notice to the owner that I want out, my parents think I'm the most antisocial bitch ever and I don't care. People don't know how draining it is when someone you are NOT friends with tries to force you into being their emotional support role, not to mention after I turned him down for a date he lost his shit, straight up SCREAMED at me, called me a whore tried to get me kicked out of the apartment. Threw another screaming fit at me when I asked him to see the statements for the utility bills. For MONTHS dude kept trying to pull me into hugs and paw at my hair when I repeatedly told him to stop touching me. There's a bunch of other shit I can't even remember but this is ridiculous. This is by far the most expensive apartment I've ever had to deal with and I would just as rather live in a shithole studio by myself.
^Validates my policy to never have male roomates.
SimoneGray
01-09-2015, 04:26 PM
I confess that I have spent the last 3 hours looking at shoes and adding them to my Amazon wishlist and for some reason I have no desire to stop...I'm addicted to shoes.
lynn2009
01-09-2015, 04:31 PM
^Validates my policy to never have male roomates.
so glad to be helpful
lol1337a
01-09-2015, 04:48 PM
I need to lock up my laptop right before I take my ambien! I wouldn't post a morbid ramble otherwise but I did last night. I wouldn't want to see what I'd written if I were someone else going through the same thing. Deleted now.
audrey_k
01-09-2015, 07:02 PM
I miss my kitten so much. It's been near 2 months since he moved in with my friend and there are still evenings where I feel like he should be next to me, purring while I pet him and I'll think 'where is ****?". I feel like I'll never get over giving him up, I can't wait until we move, and now my bf is saying it's going to be more end of the summer then beginning. We have to be out of here in June so I said fine, but we are moving somewhere my little boy can come for those few months, I said six months max and I am not giving him up for more than that. Sometimes I still resent him so much for it even though I know it's not his fault and he did everything he could.
And the poor boy had to get moved to a new home today, that's 6 homes (with me for most of it, we just moved 3x) in 5 months including his birth home. My friend that was supposed to keep him for the full 6 months backed out because one of her flatmates co-signers said no cats, but she helped me find him a new home and the girl seems great at least. I just feel so bad for him getting moved and shuttled around all the time. But he's a brave and strong cat and has always adapted to new environment so hopefully he will be fine. He is super friendly and outgoing so hopefully he will adjust.
kaninchen
01-10-2015, 11:16 AM
I just woke up and my urge to order pizza for breakfast is overpowering.
SimoneGray
01-10-2015, 06:27 PM
I confess that I am somewhat addicted to TLC shows..my latest obsession is 90 Day Fiance. Let the procrastination commence!
ScarletKitten
01-10-2015, 06:50 PM
I started to get ready to work tonight, then chickened out. Ugh. I just dyed my hair too. I am too intimidated by Saturday night crowds. So I'll have to work tomorrow (Sunday), hoping & praying to the GODDESS that I make good money then.
SweetJulia
01-10-2015, 06:58 PM
^Sundays were always my best days. Lots of heads, minus the Saturday barely-legal-completely-broke kids and weekly sc ritual "furniture".
Selina M
01-10-2015, 09:25 PM
I'm showing our apt to someone tomorrow and I'm nervous about it bc I'm afraid of being cased. We really don't have anything worth stealing, and I keep my mouth well shut about what I do for a living, so it's not like there's anything screaming 'ROB ME' but you never know with people.
Unless he straight up signs the lease tomorrow, I will probably be nervous for a few nights.
lol1337a
01-11-2015, 12:35 AM
I've started posting on SW heavily during periods of heavy stress, and I have to say it's so much more effective than the therapist I saw for a little while this year. I could spend the money I get from an hour VIP after tax and tipout to sit on some stranger's couch once a week, or just post here for free.
Another one: Now that I have time to myself I just want to unwind with a few cigarettes but only have one. Debating what's worse, traveling half an hour on the train or more round trip to get more (halal deli's here) or being too lazy to leave the house and hurting for them later.
ScarletKitten
01-11-2015, 01:06 AM
^^I agree, SW can be better than traditional therapy!
I wanna fuck this guy I see at my club all the time… LIke for real...
michele11
01-11-2015, 06:37 PM
I wanna fuck this guy I see at my club all the time… LIke for real...
Haha! I wanna fuck this chicks boy friend at the club. Lmao!
amberlly
01-11-2015, 07:09 PM
I ignore my phone when work rings and deny ever getting the call. They keep double checking my number too..
SweetJulia
01-11-2015, 08:36 PM
^ I wish I was like you and could just wear my real hair. It's 21 inch long. But I feel I look way more polished with me clip ins. I couldn't work without em. I about died when i lost one( I only wear 3 pieces) good thing I had an old one in my bag.My confession. I'm nerveous I'm going somewhere I've never been. Ugh. I get nervous my first night at places I've worked for years. Ugh. Welll maybe it'll work out well and be a new place. and I've had such bad anxiety and depression now i need to go a million places today to get everything I need and I don't feel like it. I need to go to ulta, fredericks, tanning lace to get my spray tan stuff, go to dillards, fill script for adderrall which I had to go to 5 places last time because if they;re out they won't call another place and see if they have them because of the amphetimine act. Oh and go get my extensions and have them made into 3 pieces ( I hope they are here) they're suppose to come today. Ugh.
Do you measure from the top of your head to the longest part of your hair?
My confession:Instead of making a shitload of money, I'm bs-ing, eating, sexting, and watching on demand tv. One hell of a multitasker :)
wednesday86
01-12-2015, 08:46 AM
My husband and I had almost exactly the same dream last night, with some different details. We both dreamt we were going to school together and that a Mexican guy was there hitting on me. In my dream I beat him up and his dream he killed him. What the hell???
kaninchen
01-12-2015, 11:36 AM
Since I kicked my boyfriend out, he has been texting me every day to tell me that he loves me and misses me. Last night I came home to find a bottle of moscato, orchids, and chocolate on my front porch. LOL I should have broken up with him earlier, damn!
ScarletKitten
01-12-2015, 01:38 PM
My husband and I had almost exactly the same dream last night, with some different details. We both dreamt we were going to school together and that a Mexican guy was there hitting on me. In my dream I beat him up and his dream he killed him. What the hell???
That is WEIRD! There has to be a reason for this. Maybe the dream was trying to tell you both something? Some kind of message? You and your husband must be really connected, on a psychic level. :)
My confession: I would rather be on SW instead of hanging out with my bf. I'm a terrible girlfriend.
charlie61
01-12-2015, 09:48 PM
Note: by season 4, the persistent "la la la, la la la" music in Gilmore Girls starts getting reaaallllly fucking old.
michele11
01-12-2015, 09:55 PM
Do you measure from the top of your head to the longest part of your hair?
My confession:Instead of making a shitload of money, I'm bs-ing, eating, sexting, and watching on demand tv. One hell of a multitasker :)
I never measured but my 20 inch measure a few inches longer and my hair is almost the same length.
charlie61
01-12-2015, 10:10 PM
Note: by season 4, the persistent "la la la, la la la" music in Gilmore Girls starts getting reaaallllly fucking old.
Also, the straightness and straight-laced-ness of this show are both starting to grate on me. And the whole small-towns-are-quaint-and-fun thing is starting to bore the shit out of me. I'm also not sure how such a slow-moving show has so much damn yelling in it...
How is it possible that I've made it to season 4?
wednesday86
01-13-2015, 11:08 AM
They put Friends on Netflix a few days ago and I am already 3 seasons in........good lord. I've been so lazy lately, spending all my free time watching Friends and daydreaming about going back to school to be a paleoanthropologist-a dream I shelved years ago. I even found out there is a grad program for it where we're moving.....Maybe someday
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-13-2015, 01:39 PM
My husband and I had almost exactly the same dream last night, with some different details. We both dreamt we were going to school together and that a Mexican guy was there hitting on me. In my dream I beat him up and his dream he killed him. What the hell???
How disturbing.
Related story- a few years ago, I had a casual short term thing with a guy...I slept over at his house a couple times & we both has really weird dreams when we slept together. The final night we were so freaked out by the dreams I left silently & he was quiet too. We parted on good terms but I still wonder WHY that happened.
hamdinger
01-13-2015, 02:17 PM
I'm finally good at driving stick! I drove on the freeway in the snow today, completing my training. All this so I can drive myself to the club and audition. I could go tonight, but I'm so damn scared. When my roommate leaves I'll put on my outfit and dance around and see how I feel... Maybe sniff some cash. Oops, I don't have any.
simone87
01-13-2015, 02:27 PM
i keep having these nightmares that I'm stripping in church! like one of the old churches i went to as a kid got converted into a strip club, only all the church people are still seated around staring..*grimace* so weird!
chickchick8182
01-13-2015, 02:45 PM
My husband and I had almost exactly the same dream last night, with some different details. We both dreamt we were going to school together and that a Mexican guy was there hitting on me. In my dream I beat him up and his dream he killed him. What the hell???
My husband and I recently had almost the same dream on the same night. We both had dreams of his mother who passed away. I dreamed she wasn't really dead all this time (3yrs), she'd just been gone and couldn't remember anything at first. She was upset about his Dad's new gf, and the state of their house ( he's let it fall into disrepair). My husband dreamed his mom was alive but had amnesia. She wasn't upset about anything bc she couldn't remember so his Dad spent nights with the new chick and days with his mom. It was weird, but we just chalked it up to her "visiting" us.
michele11
01-13-2015, 03:12 PM
I believe in this stuff so don't ruin it for me. My dad visited my sister last night. It was really cool what he did and only we would know. It makes me feel better becaue I'm not having it the best where I'm at riight now. I wish he'd of given me a visit.
Kellydancer
01-13-2015, 03:37 PM
i keep having these nightmares that I'm stripping in church! like one of the old churches i went to as a kid got converted into a strip club, only all the church people are still seated around staring..*grimace* so weird!
A year or so ago I dreamed I went to a rectory (where priests live)that had several floors and the top floor was a strip club. I asked them why and they said "we need money". It was so bizarre.
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-13-2015, 04:00 PM
I'm finally good at driving stick! I drove on the freeway in the snow today, completing my training. All this so I can drive myself to the club and audition. I could go tonight, but I'm so damn scared. When my roommate leaves I'll put on my outfit and dance around and see how I feel... Maybe sniff some cash. Oops, I don't have any.
Congrats, I totally bombed at learning how to drive a stick.
michele11
01-13-2015, 04:50 PM
Haha. I have no shame. I just saw one of my cousins friends lives in the city I'm in now. I called him. He's either going to come give me money or drive me around or something useful. Lmao.
MyButter
01-13-2015, 05:11 PM
Ohh yaaay are we talking about dreams?! I had a dream I was Anne Boleyn last night because I've been watching wayyyy too much of The Tudors. I was so disappointed when I woke up and realized I wasn't the Queen of England:/
michele11
01-13-2015, 05:18 PM
Guys no fucken help. He's never been to a club here. He's calling his friends...
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-13-2015, 05:39 PM
My husband and I recently had almost the same dream on the same night. We both had dreams of his mother who passed away. I dreamed she wasn't really dead all this time (3yrs), she'd just been gone and couldn't remember anything at first. She was upset about his Dad's new gf, and the state of their house ( he's let it fall into disrepair). My husband dreamed his mom was alive but had amnesia. She wasn't upset about anything bc she couldn't remember so his Dad spent nights with the new chick and days with his mom. It was weird, but we just chalked it up to her "visiting" us.
I had a dream like this about a boyfriend's dead wife (car accident.) I told my bff & she told me to never tell him, it would have upset him. Those kinds of dreams are un-nerving...
OliveJardin
01-13-2015, 06:57 PM
I confess that I am injured, burnt out and in need of a holiday!
kaninchen
01-13-2015, 07:02 PM
I hate school and I want to go home and drink a glass of wine and eat some yogurt. I'm stuck here for two more hours though. :( PMS is making me want to burst into tears over this!
Im on a diet and I keep seeing these pizza commercials and all I can do is think about pizza!
Aniela
01-13-2015, 10:55 PM
I squash a garden snail at least once a wk in the dark when I'm going along the walkways in front of the front/back stairs of my house. It's moist at nite even when it doesn't rain, & I guess the snails think the dark hrs are the best time to cross the walkway bc there's less foot traffic by the evil giants (aka us humans) … but the porch lites are placed oddly, so even when they are on, I don't always see them … until I feel the SMOOSH & hear the CRUNCH … tonite I kicked one & I think it ended up in pieces. :weeping: I feel really really bad.
kaninchen
01-13-2015, 11:27 PM
^ Noooo, poor snail bebes! Funny how such tiny things can take so much of your sympathy. I just about break my own heart whenever I accidentally crush them!
Aniela
01-13-2015, 11:36 PM
^^^^ Ikr … was telling my dad I want to build sm little barricade things to set along the edges of the walkways to keep the snails off of them & out of harm's way, but he's not having it. He has no sympathy for them bc they eat his plants & throws them in the canal when he finds them :help2: He just laughs & then tells me to go get the mop & clean up the mess from my bleeding heart.
SamanthaSugar
01-14-2015, 12:43 AM
I'm so over camming! Been doing it full time and it will be 5 fn years next month. Besides some slow days here and there I do pretty well for the time I put in. It's just sooo boring and isolating but it's ruined me for looking for vanilla work. I'm so used to doing my own thing just having to deal with being on someone else's schedule is so unappealing. I've started my own business, it's just gotta be successful b/c I don't think I can endure another year of camming. Sonetimes I hate my life
Aniela
01-14-2015, 10:05 PM
Running + pushups depress me.
I was nvr a runner, always hated it, but when I did, naturally did much better sprinting than endurance-running. Trying to switch that around for pfa & my body just isn't having it.
Used to be able to do pushups at a 60-degree angle, upside down, & was working my way to full Djoser-style handstand pushups. Now I can't even do a single one lvl. Trying to build up via angled rightside-up pushups but the shoulder strength has been slower coming back than I anticipated.
Gonna take it slightly easy tomor & find sm shoulder-specific exercises to work on. I feel like such an old lady.
Selina M
01-15-2015, 11:47 AM
I think I'm developing issues coping with stress... anytime I get annoyed at something, it takes over and I'm in a shit mood immediately. If I'm home, I go in the bedroom and stay there until someone/something convinces me to come out. The last couple shifts I worked, I had to fight off panic attacks that randomly hit me, and I keep finding myself disassociating as well. Top it off with having zero interest in eating (like, I get hungry but there's nothing that interests me to eat.. not even at restaurants... so I don't eat) and it's a recipe for a meltdown. Ugh.
It's like I have a good week where I'm totally zen/Law of Attraction, to a week of hairpin trigger explosions. I don't think it's bipolar or anything, I think it's just literally that my anxiety doesn't have a middle ground.
kaninchen
01-15-2015, 01:05 PM
I think I'm developing issues coping with stress... anytime I get annoyed at something, it takes over and I'm in a shit mood immediately. If I'm home, I go in the bedroom and stay there until someone/something convinces me to come out. The last couple shifts I worked, I had to fight off panic attacks that randomly hit me, and I keep finding myself disassociating as well. Top it off with having zero interest in eating (like, I get hungry but there's nothing that interests me to eat.. not even at restaurants... so I don't eat) and it's a recipe for a meltdown. Ugh.
It's like I have a good week where I'm totally zen/Law of Attraction, to a week of hairpin trigger explosions. I don't think it's bipolar or anything, I think it's just literally that my anxiety doesn't have a middle ground.
I'm sorry you have to go through this! I have severe anxiety too and I get really similar symptoms.
When my anxiety "acts up" I treat it like a serious physical illness. If I had the flu and a high fever, I wouldn't try to push through and still go to work and school. It can be absolutely debilitating if unmanaged! It sucks that anxiety is essentially an invisible ailment, but I've explained it to my professors and my club's manager, and they've been understanding about accommodating it. Would you be able to not work for a while if you're having attacks there?
Idk if this would work for you, but here are some coping mechanisms I've developed over the years:
- Have safe spaces when out in public-- at work I'll go into an empty VIP room and focus on breathing and grounding myself. At school I like empty bathrooms
- Force yourself to eat because low blood sugar will make your anxiety worse. A tiny cup of yogurt, an apple, a piece of dry toast -- just choke it down like it's a spoonful of medicine.
- If something relaxes you, take note, and do it without feeling guilty/indulgent. I am helped so much by talking to my mom on the phone and getting weekly massages. And I don't really advocate drugs but I've found that smoking a tiny bit of marijuana at night before bed will reduce my anxiety for the next few days. I only do this if I'm basically having a psychotic break though.
I hope you can work through this and resume being productive and awesome!
whirlerz
01-15-2015, 02:12 PM
How bout meditation..? I don't do it in the traditional sense, but I find something to zone out on..for me it's nature. Just sitting & watching the trees. Weird, I know.
Anyway, hope you feel better..
Me: I'm just f'n lazy today.
hamdinger
01-15-2015, 02:53 PM
I think I'm developing issues coping with stress... anytime I get annoyed at something, it takes over and I'm in a shit mood immediately. If I'm home, I go in the bedroom and stay there until someone/something convinces me to come out. The last couple shifts I worked, I had to fight off panic attacks that randomly hit me, and I keep finding myself disassociating as well. Top it off with having zero interest in eating (like, I get hungry but there's nothing that interests me to eat.. not even at restaurants... so I don't eat) and it's a recipe for a meltdown. Ugh.
I second the forcing yourself to eat. Your body needs nutrients to make neurotransmitters. The bad appetite/bad feelings snowball effect is a battle for me. I eat fruit and drink almond milk when I have zero appetite.
SnuffleUffleGrass
01-15-2015, 03:13 PM
Running + pushups depress me.
I was nvr a runner, always hated it, but when I did, naturally did much better sprinting than endurance-running. Trying to switch that around for pfa & my body just isn't having it.
Used to be able to do pushups at a 60-degree angle, upside down, & was working my way to full Djoser-style handstand pushups. Now I can't even do a single one lvl. Trying to build up via angled rightside-up pushups but the shoulder strength has been slower coming back than I anticipated.
Gonna take it slightly easy tomor & find sm shoulder-specific exercises to work on. I feel like such an old lady.
Can you describe the results of this kind of workout? I need to get back into running. I just hate it...
ScarletKitten
01-15-2015, 08:20 PM
I think I'm developing issues coping with stress... anytime I get annoyed at something, it takes over and I'm in a shit mood immediately. If I'm home, I go in the bedroom and stay there until someone/something convinces me to come out. The last couple shifts I worked, I had to fight off panic attacks that randomly hit me, and I keep finding myself disassociating as well. Top it off with having zero interest in eating (like, I get hungry but there's nothing that interests me to eat.. not even at restaurants... so I don't eat) and it's a recipe for a meltdown. Ugh.
It's like I have a good week where I'm totally zen/Law of Attraction, to a week of hairpin trigger explosions. I don't think it's bipolar or anything, I think it's just literally that my anxiety doesn't have a middle ground.
OMG, I can relate to this SO much. It's like you've described me perfectly. I have problems handling stress too, but I think my brain is coming up with ways to adapt and deal with stress. By the way, I find that peppermint tea can help with jump-starting your appetite. Weed definitely helps the appetite, too. I know, weed is not for everyone. I just thought I would offer it as a suggestion anyway. In my case, it is a life-saver when I can't even force-feed myself.
I've been experiencing depersonalization lately. It's strange and fucked up, but it's a coping mechanism for me now. So, I'm happy with it, as strange as that may sound. I detach myself from emotions I'm feeling, and it's a nice vacation from having to feel all those emotions. What's weird is that my body IS processing those emotions, but I don't feel them directly. For example, I was crying last night, but I felt like I was only observing another part of me crying. Like, I have several different personalities, so when I'm crying, only one of these personalities is crying. The others just gather around and witness this personality crying, but they are completely detached and don't feel anything. It's a calming, detached, almost zen-like feeling. I hope I'm explaining this correctly...
Yes, I'm completely insane. But who isn't?