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baer45
09-24-2015, 11:14 PM
This is not a confession. But i couldn't help showing off here. I went to range today and accidently shot a smiley face on the target with 5 bullet at 30 feet.

42682

DonaDiabla
09-26-2015, 03:38 AM
Now, I must look for another sugar daddy and I am happy about it. My ex-sugar daddy was getting too domestic for my taste and talking about babies way too much. But I milked that son of bitch until he could not take it anymore. My plan was to drain him until Jan 2016 but he want me to say that I love him. Yuck, he just stop the money flow because I could not show true love :)

tuesdaymarie
09-26-2015, 05:17 PM
I discovered this freakishly long light blonde eyebrow hair yesterday. It was like 2.5x as long as all the rest. I have no idea how I missed it trimming. I was so freaked out by it I just plucked it instead of trimming, because it was a mutant or something. Not a confession but relevant: Vaseline on your brows at night is effective, folks. (And I have been liking Revitalash too.)

xStacey
09-26-2015, 07:20 PM
I feel miserable.

Prettyglitter
09-26-2015, 09:21 PM
I have to accept that dancing may not be for me anymore. I'm addicted to the money but it's hard living a double life. I feel like I can't be myself.

xStacey
09-27-2015, 07:42 AM
Haven't been working for the last month and I really miss stripping and sex work already :( I really hate the people I am surrounded by every day, people that I will most probably end up working with in the future. I am having doubts, second-guessing myself wondering if I made the right decision to enter law school. I knew this would happen but I never thought the experience would be this emotionally taxing.

I saw my ex on Friday night for the first time after three years, it was so awkward and we almost slept together. I feel miserable about what happened that night and I can't stop thinking about it. Even if we start dating again, it will never be the way I want things to be between us, and it will never be the way it was before. :'(

SimoneGray
09-27-2015, 11:56 AM
I confess that as soon as the hustle starts going well, literally all feelings I have toward the opposite sex disappear. I am kinda worried that this will prevent me from finding someone, since I never want them around when my career is going well, but I don't want a life of shitty career stuff to have love.

Aniela
09-27-2015, 06:50 PM
This is gonna be a bunch of confessions here that have been rattling round in my head all wk.

I have my dr appt tomor to get my injured feet evaluated. The pain has actually been really good lately for the most part, a few nasty spikes here & there & then mostly just bad when I first get up in the morning & haven't had a hot shower (aka feet's personal hydrotherapy) yet. I know the dmg will show up when they do the new Xrays + MRI but I am still a bit anxious that if I go in w/ little/no pain the dr will be like, 'So they feel fine, wtf do you need me for?'

Had lunch w/ my ex's sister & mother today, since they live not-far from where I am going for ^^^^ treatment. I got to meet them abt 2mo ago, & even after all the nastiness between my ex & me, they still treat me like family, moreso than he ever did. WTF, I still can't get my mind round it. But it is always so nice to see them, esp his sister … except for that by the time I leave, I feel a little depressed bc she reminds me so much of him. They look a lot alike; similar mannerisms, etc. & she always asks if I have spoken to him. I haven't, & I won't be the one to contact him after all the ways he hurt me, but she said today over lunch 'nvr say nvr' she knows a fair bit abt what happened, bc I told her, but she doesn't know the worst of it, at least not from me. Like how badly he truly wanted me out of his life & took my desire to enlist as an opportunity to get rid of me for good. How he thinks I am a PoS for having been a stripper yet he has paid for sex.

Lest feathers get ruffled ^^^^ I don't have a problem w/ escorts. My problem w/ prostitution is w/ the pimps, & w/ the clients themselves for the most part bc of their hypocrisy & their selfishness in rooting round for it in the wrong places i.e. SCs. From sm of the things he said I suspect he has been one of Those Guys that trolled for sex in SCs & it makes me sick to my stomach thinking abt it.

I wish I could force myself into his thoughts, & that every time he thinks of me it fkng hurts, like it hurts me when I think of him. I want him to know fully the effect that his actions have had, how bad the dmg is that he caused … & come crawling (literally crawling) back w/ apologies, begging forgiveness & saying he would do anything to make it right.

Last one … even if he did come crawling back & promising to fix it … Idk whether I would have it in me to give him that chance. I thought I'd been scarred by previous guys b4 meeting him … all the effort & time to take it slow, being careful, & learning yrs later that he had just been all lies all the time … I remember loving him, how it felt to love him, but I can't find any of those feelings anymore.

buttonpop
09-27-2015, 09:37 PM
I can handle the yearning for being in love, the desire to have a relationship. I can handle the lonely, the routine, the doing something beautiful and having nobody there to watch you do it, the nighttime solo walks, seeing the moonlight pour over the streets in a way that makes you wish someone else was there to see it. Its almost romantic, that kind of yearning for someone. It fuels creativity.

What I can't handle is the yearning for good, rough, sex. I would would do anything to have my hair pulled right now. The craving is maddening.

Likethis
09-28-2015, 04:37 PM
I bought too many things on impulse last time I went shopping.

I always realize it later, when I've had the stuff for quite a while, "I don't really need this" or "I should have gotten something more useful".

wednesday86
09-28-2015, 04:45 PM
i have the week off and i'm kinda bummed about it. lately i just want to work, work, work. i'd rather be in the club than sitting at home.

sweetcrush
09-28-2015, 08:19 PM
I have a huge crush on my coworker. He has no idea, for obvious reasons. I was watching him help someone while bending over and all I could do was stare at his ass. It was so nice. I've been daydreaming alot about him. Especially those big green eyes. I'm just scared his dick is small. I would hate myself to even take that step just to find that out. Another coworker gives me a vibe when we make eye contact. He's cute, not my type but, I do think about doing things with him too.

I haven't had a good dick in a long time :(

audrey_k
09-29-2015, 01:00 AM
I thought that sex work had ruined me from ever working a vanilla job because of salary, but in reality, I'm fine with my somewhat-shitty salary. I like the work I'm doing and I'm so happy to have things like pay slips, when I'm asked about what I do for a living not have to scramble, getting up at a normal time in the morning and going to bed at a normal time with most of the world, getting to go out on Friday nights, not having to deal with customer's bullshit, be able to to budget my money not on a just a prediction of what I'll make next week/month, not having to deal with filing taxes on my own... I feel much happier and more secure not doing sex work and that makes the pay cut OK for me.

What it has ruined me for is having the patience to deal with other people and political bullshit and being "managed." I'm fine dealing with clients: if I can deal with a customer refusing to pay or spending an entire lap dance trying to finger me I can deal with a client's complaints or them just being difficult. But I hate the hierarchy in the office, the political bullshit, people saying one thing and doing another, people trying to micromanage how I do things. Are strippers saints? God no, but I never cared if anyone at work liked me or I pissed them off because it didn't have anything to do with my work (unless they fucked things up with a customer but I've shit-talking strippers = customers running away, they can get that at home they aren't golf to pay for it). I miss showing up at working, getting dressed, and spending the whole evening working alone with no one to tell me what to do or how to do it, and not having to worry about where I stand. I miss being my own boss. And the only thing I DO miss about the money-- having the opportunity to make £££ by putting in extra work (staying an extra couple hours may help me argue for a raise in the coming future but it's not liking staying late at the club and getting to take home extra £ that day).

That said, I really like most of the people at my work, and I respect my boss 100% and love working under her. But I miss having my independence at work. I usually come in 5-10 minutes late and once every few weeks a bit later just because of the train times but I am 80% of the time the last person in the office, so I feel like does it really matter, I spend two or so hours more than most others can we let the 5-10 mins go? I prefer to get in a little later and work later (tho it's not like I'm just working those extra 5-10 minutes). And when I am asked, did you do this yet, I told you I needed this by the end of the day is it going to be done-- if I say I will do something I will do it. I don't need to be checked up on. Sometimes I miss stripping SO MUCH and other times I'm really glad I left it .

baer45
09-29-2015, 11:07 AM
I confess that I have watched downton abbey for straight 15 hours. I mean I fell sleep at night but I woke up this morning and replayed the part I missed.

wednesday86
09-29-2015, 06:14 PM
I confess that I'm halfway through the semester and I'm starting to get really sick of it...I am so tired all the time between work, homework and the kid. I don't know if I really want to do this for another 2-4 years...really thinking about just getting a certificate in web design or some shit and calling it a day.

22lligm
09-29-2015, 06:31 PM
I went a little crazy online shopping.. oops. I felt like I had enough clothes but after going on 2 trips it made me realize that I wear the same 3 things everyday. Or maybe I just have a slight shopping addiction. lol but I really don't shop THAT much I just get a little crazy when I do decide to buy some clothes. I absolutely hate shopping at malls or actually in stores so I spend all this time looking at a million websites and narrowing it down to a couple and then buying in bulk. I think that makes more sense than just wandering around and randomly buying things I probably won't wear.

And I watched the whole season of 'How to get away with murder' on netflix in like 2 days. IT IS SO GOOD!! It gets so crazy towards the end of the season I was sharing my excitement with my dog and she hid from me. I get really into shows when they're good haha.

Cashmere Star
09-29-2015, 08:07 PM
There's a male housemate of mine let's call him Zack, and I wasn't sure if I am imagining it but his body language seems very uh... open. I had a dream one time that he kissed me and I was like "wait, don't you have a girlfriend" and then woke up. I try to avoid him ever since because I am personally thirsty myself and I am not gonna let myself get tangled up in this.

I told my landlady that I am thinking of fixing a bike in the house so I can use it, and she said that I should get Zack to work on it. I am like no. Long story short (the conversation was longer than this) she pretty much asked why, I told her I have personal reasons, and after pestering me she asked if I liked him. I say yeah, but not intentionally. I told her that I think he might be interested in me based off subtle things like body language and that I wonder if I am imagining it. And she's like "you're not imagining it".

Ok most of body language is subtle and can be misread, but when I talk to him, he directs his chest and feet in my direction, really extends his arms out to his side if he's sitting down (so yeah very open gesture), tilts his head a lot, leans on things when he's standing, plays and strokes with whatever he's holding in his hands, and rubs/touches his neck a lot. I am not imagining this shit, am I? He's not my type but if someone displays signs of interest I can't help but reciprocate it a bit. Yeah I hear that just because a guy is taken doesn't mean he doesn't have eyes but hey he has a girlfriend (tho long distance). And he seems to be really proud of her and liked talking about her, and talks to her on the phone a lot in his car. So it makes me kind of disappointed that he's looking around (as my landlady puts it) and makes me wonder if women do this too. When my ex was away for 6-7 months I wasn't "looking around". I am sure Zack's not doing it consciously and that he won't act on it and that he'll stay faithful to his gf (or at least try to) but dammit it's so obvious. Good thing he's out of the house most of the week.

SimoneGray
09-30-2015, 10:39 AM
Had a dream about my crush who I kinda thought I got over...apparently not. Back to square one.

wednesday86
09-30-2015, 11:10 AM
I'm losing respect for my husband. I didn't mind him not working for a while but it's been months now.......I'm paying 100% of our bills alone. I don't want to have sex with him anymore. He's going back to school for hair but that's not until January and he's getting lazy about keeping the house clean and cooking. I've created a monster :( a freeloading monster

baer45
09-30-2015, 01:11 PM
I'm losing respect for my husband. I didn't mind him not working for a while but it's been months now.......I'm paying 100% of our bills alone. I don't want to have sex with him anymore. He's going back to school for hair but that's not until January and he's getting lazy about keeping the house clean and cooking. I've created a monster :( a freeloading monster

Deja Vu.

xStacey
09-30-2015, 02:00 PM
I'm eating a mcdonald trio.

Aurora_Sunset
09-30-2015, 07:26 PM
A part of me is proud that I've managed to get myself from a 2-bottles-of-wine-a-night borderline alcoholic who doesn't go to bed until between 3-5am and wakes up at 11am-noon, to rarely drinking and going to bed between 10-11pm and getting up by 9am and not even needing a nap during the day. But there's another part of me that occasionally has a glass of wine and gets just buzzed enough that I actually miss that lifestyle despite all the problems it caused me.

Sometimes being normally functional is so much effort (and boring), I kinda just want to let go and be a mess.

Aniela
10-01-2015, 03:27 AM
Crushing on a guy that's 11 yrs younger than me … his age alone would be reason enough for me to not want to act on it but godDAMN I feel like such a perv

charlie61
10-02-2015, 03:38 PM
I am so fucking bored with life.

miss.a.p1600
10-02-2015, 08:12 PM
Saw two young women in the hobby store. Overheard them saying they came back from a Europe trip.

They looked like women who stayed at home and had rich husbands that treated them good. They were framing their fancy family photo.

In that moment, I longed to trade places.

wednesday86
10-03-2015, 11:46 AM
we just broke up and I already made an okcupid profile and started browsing cuties...i don't want another relationship for a long time but it feels good to see he's not the only cute asian in the world.

carmen_b
10-03-2015, 11:50 AM
^ good !
That was so weird to think its ok to not have income for months. How did he expect that to pan out?

wednesday86
10-03-2015, 11:59 AM
^ good !
That was so weird to think its ok to not have income for months. How did he expect that to pan out?

I know he loves me in his way but looking back i think he's been trying to sabotage the relationship and get rid of me for a long time. he just doesn't want the responsibility of being a husband and provider. I don't know why and honestly don't care.

baer45
10-03-2015, 12:09 PM
we just broke up and I already made an okcupid profile and started browsing cuties...i don't want another relationship for a long time but it feels good to see he's not the only cute asian in the world.

I am sorry to hear that. usually asians have too much pride to live like him. But like you said, he's not the only one out there. I've never had an asian bf but will certainly keep that as an option.

Genoveve
10-03-2015, 04:21 PM
I am so fucking bored with life.

This is me right now. Normally I love being at home constantly and cooking and cleaning and internetting..... I can do nothing but that all day every day and be happy as a clam. But I just recently went through a bunch of upheaval in my personal life and I'm feeling extremely restless like I want to just get the fuck out and do something, anything. Like the universe is calling me to action. But I have no clue what to do with myself. So I've just been kind of sitting here spinning my wheels. I think tomorrow I will go walking.

whirlerz
10-03-2015, 04:28 PM
This is me right now. Normally I love being at home constantly and cooking and cleaning and internetting..... I can do nothing but that all day every day and be happy as a clam. But I just recently went through a bunch of upheaval in my personal life and I'm feeling extremely restless like I want to just get the fuck out and do something, anything. Like the universe is calling me to action. But I have no clue what to do with myself. So I've just been kind of sitting here spinning my wheels. I think tomorrow I will go walking.

Yea^. Maybe it's to do w/this time of year, changing of the seasons? I felt sad too, & lonely. Of course, sick o' this motel. I almost just completely sat inside today, but I wanted a hair prod. that's only @ this one salon, they closed early today so I went & got that, next door to there is a health food store, went there as well.
Normally, I walk either in the forest preserve or the nature center, but today it was very windy & cold-ish. I was also feeling weird/tired from this damn shot I had yesterday, (see Feeling Pissy)

22lligm
10-04-2015, 11:20 AM
I'm back to being really confused with my life & having this midlife crisis at 23. It's so frustrating & confusing I don't know what to do. I'm on my third trip out here & this time it isn't as great but that's mostly my fault. I talked myself out of working and stayed in my hotel room all day and night yesterday wondering what I should do next. I feel like I'm a little over stripping sometimes but I think I just need something else to do instead of strictly working at clubs. I know moving out here is the best option though since it's cheaper, more/better options for clubs, & being at home in CA is driving me insane. I texted my friend saying how bored I was and she said "won't you be bored if you move out there then?" But I'm only bored because I'm a hermit in my hotel room this trip. If I had an apartment out here I would be able to go about my normal routines and have my dog with me. Also, the places I'm looking at are right in the center of everything so I'll be able to walk places & take my dog hiking & whatnot. I've only worked one night so far and I think I'll just try and find an apartment I really like, talk to the leasing office, explore the area a bit and fly back tomorrow. Oh and I just ended my 4 year relationship and while I don't necessarily miss him I think it's affecting me anyway. Change is hard but Ive never felt like I needed a change so badly.. if that makes sense.

I hope I figure it out soon tho because this finding myself shit can get slightly depressing.

charlie61
10-04-2015, 11:22 AM
There are some things I like about being sick. It really simplifies everything. I have one purpose, one focus: to take care of myself. That's all I have to do.

22lligm
10-04-2015, 03:28 PM
Ooo update to my emo post.. just went & got approved for a super nice apartment out here and I move later this month!! And was offered a job at the front office which would be cool for a day job. Yay!! Finally getting the eff out of CA

lynn2009
10-04-2015, 07:44 PM
I am getting worried about my class. I need to get at least a B+ and things have been absolutely crazy lately and I'm starting to worry about making that. It's a very specialty field and only my second class whereas everyone else seems to be near the end of the program and already working in this field anyway, just getting their masters to have it. So I asked the instructor for the last two class recordings so I could try to catch up this weekend and drop the class next week if I felt like I couldn't. Which would suck but not as bad as getting below a B+ and not getting into the program at all. So the dumbass sends me the week 1 and week 2 videos, which I don't know why he thought I needed 1 and 2 instead of 2 and 3, my god, we didn't do shit the first week. So I couldn't get any work done this weekend and it's too late for me to drop the class without a "W" for withdraw on my transcript :/

edit: by saying I couldn't get any work done this weekend, I meant he sent me week 1 and 2, I could have used the week 2 video at least but he sent a link without giving me access to it >:(

xStacey
10-04-2015, 07:53 PM
I often find myself thinking about becoming an independent high-end escort. The lifestyle seems amazing, touring, dressing up, meeting with important men, being dined & wined, receiving gifts, ending the evening with a good fuck. (I know successful ladies in the business work hard and it's not easy, but it just seems so much more exciting than what I am currently doing on a daily basis lol).

xStacey
10-04-2015, 08:03 PM
I am getting worried about my class. I need to get at least a B+ and things have been absolutely crazy lately and I'm starting to worry about making that. It's a very specialty field and only my second class whereas everyone else seems to be near the end of the program and already working in this field anyway, just getting their masters to have it. So I asked the instructor for the last two class recordings so I could try to catch up this weekend and drop the class next week if I felt like I couldn't. Which would suck but not as bad as getting below a B+ and not getting into the program at all. So the dumbass sends me the week 1 and week 2 videos, which I don't know why he thought I needed 1 and 2 instead of 2 and 3, my god, we didn't do shit the first week. So I couldn't get any work done this weekend and it's too late for me to drop the class without a "W" for withdraw on my transcript :/

I think it's better to get a W than an unsatisfying mark if you feel it's a little late to catch up... It doesn't lower your GPA and as long as it doesn't happen frequently you should be okay...

Selina M
10-04-2015, 10:28 PM
I've been writing songs and wanting to do musical stuff since high school, and I never did anything with it because I can't get myself to get up on stage without a backing vocal track. It's so stupid.
I can walk around almost naked and convince men to give me money, make my living doing that, but I can't get up and sing. Probably because I actually care what people think in that case.

simone87
10-05-2015, 09:35 AM
so i had jury duty today, and i was with probably 150 other people in a room waiting to be selected and this gross slobby looking bitch behind me is talking to this other woman about a case where a prostitute was claiming a john raped her (you aren't even supposed to be discussing cases with other jurors) and the woman is like "umm well how can you even rape a prostitute?" and i can feel my blood start to boil, and i was JUST about to turn around and school this dumb c*nt but somebody else did it for me. how can you be that disgusting and ignorant and just flat out stupid? and these are the kinds of people we have on juries? thank god she didn't get selected. gross

Nina_
10-05-2015, 09:46 AM
I often find myself thinking about becoming an independent high-end escort. The lifestyle seems amazing, touring, dressing up, meeting with important men, being dined & wined, receiving gifts, ending the evening with a good fuck. (I know successful ladies in the business work hard and it's not easy, but it just seems so much more exciting than what I am currently doing on a daily basis lol).


Lol I just want to find ONE millionaire whose looks and personality are decent who wants to spend a ton on me, all the time. I recently passed up on someone who made several million dollars this year because I knew he'd want sex soon and I did not want to. Dammit. Maybe the opportunity will arise again and I'll do it differently lol.

Glamourmilf
10-05-2015, 10:26 AM
so i had jury duty today, and i was with probably 150 other people in a room waiting to be selected and this gross slobby looking bitch behind me is talking to this other woman about a case where a prostitute was claiming a john raped her (you aren't even supposed to be discussing cases with other jurors) and the woman is like "umm well how can you even rape a prostitute?" and i can feel my blood start to boil, and i was JUST about to turn around and school this dumb c*nt but somebody else did it for me. how can you be that disgusting and ignorant and just flat out stupid? and these are the kinds of people we have on juries? thank god she didn't get selected. gross

^^^^ This is why I Pray to GOD I'm never convicted of a crime. The jury selection in this country sux.
I backed out of a class action lawsuit years ago against my landlady, when I found out I would be called to testify.
I freaked out that my 'stripping' occupation, which my landlady knew about, would come up.

baer45
10-05-2015, 12:47 PM
I believe she's confused by the term of "people's consent". right?

SweetJulia
10-06-2015, 03:51 AM
I'm finding it impossible to feel sorry for people who come on here for advice for a stressful life situation, argue with logic, don't take our advice, and come back a month or two later with the same problems.

carmen_b
10-06-2015, 03:05 PM
I ordered by money belt and locker lock for Thailand ! I am nervous! Ha. I feel like the timing is right but I will need to do this solo.
The bf doesn't have enough time off and I don't want to wait. I have turned all the advertising off for my small business and in the next week will hopefully wrap all the " pending " sales so I won't need to do much on the road. I don't have my sales assistant anymore unless I ask her to come back for my vacation . I'll still need to work an hour or two a day on the road, but I think it's doable. I'm just psyching myself off about everything from the long flight worries and random weird fears even though I'm a frequent traveler.

Also .... I just don't want to carry anything valuable, but is that a bad idea? I figure I can find internet cafes , but does anyone have ideas if carrying a computer is ok ?

Glamourmilf
10-06-2015, 05:18 PM
^^^ I've traveled with my netbook computer, and it was always fine.(in a briefcase of course).
I also have a tablet which is great to travel with also.

Aurora_Sunset
10-06-2015, 07:52 PM
Sometimes I wonder why I can't just be normal. Why couldn't I just be happy with the stupid office job that paid over $12/hr and had a 401k? Why can't I be a normal girl that sits around fantasizing about owning a home and having a family? It's apparently good enough for everybody else - what the hell's wrong with me?

No, I had to say "fuck that job" and go be a prostitute. I hate kids and think buying a house is stupid. I dream about being a writer who lives in an RV and doesn't stay in one place for longer than a week. I listen to my friends cry over possibly losing a bf because they thought "he was the one," and I'm just like "fuck that, I've never liked one individual so much that I'd want to spend the rest of my life with them. You'd do so much better on your own."

I don't relate to anyone around me. My friends talk about being "jealous of my lifestyle" and I'm like no you're not! Your conversations revolve around buying a house in the suburbs so your husband has room to run around with your multiple kids and you're saving up money for nursing school. You don't want what I'm doing. Shut up.

charlie61
10-06-2015, 09:21 PM
Even though I resent it sometimes, mostly I love how sex work 'forces' me to take such good care of myself.

wednesday86
10-06-2015, 09:39 PM
I think I just had the best first date of my life...the doctor guy is amazing, has traveled all over the world, speaks 3 languages and is one of the most interesting people I've ever met, not to mention extremely sweet and a perfect gentleman. Thank god he lives an hour away. I'm pressing the brakes as hard as I can but I already like him FUCK!

baer45
10-07-2015, 09:00 AM
As much as I want a female president, I hate Hillary Clinton. Sometimes when I recall Bill's infamous " I did not have sexual relations with that woman", I think he's referring to Hillary.

22lligm
10-07-2015, 10:24 AM
Even though I resent it sometimes, mostly I love how sex work 'forces' me to take such good care of myself.

Same here. I was talking to a non-stripper girlfriend about plans this weekend and how it's going to be hot so I want to wear shorts and she says "I finally can shave my legs!" lol the most hair that grows on my legs is a little bit of prickliness on my one or two days off.
--

Now that I'm back at home I'm getting really nervous/scared about moving to a new state. It doesn't feel like it's happening but I'll officially be a Texas resident in 2 and half weeks!! Crazy. I hope I don't get too home sick and regret my decision. And I hope my dog doesn't get too stressed out from the major change.