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Velveteen.Rabbit
06-09-2016, 10:46 AM
Lmao crazy bitch time! Jk lol. K so does anyone do this?

Okay so I accidentally stumbled upon the YouTube channel of a guy I'm dating's ex-girlfriend. And I can't help but watch a bunch of the vids out of sheer curiosity. I didn't even know she had a YouTube.

Like I'm not jealous at all and I'm really happy with myself and my life + goals, but it's almost hypnotic. I know I'm not jealous because she's just a random mid-30s lady, a SAHM, with a few kids and we don't share common fashion values or interests, so like there's no reason to care. But I do this every time I like someone. It's just so fascinating to lurk girls they had a strong connection to.

Does anyone else do this? Hopefully everyone does this and hides it so I don't feel like a special snowflake lol

Aurora_Sunset
06-09-2016, 12:50 PM
There are hours every day that I could use to get more stuff done, but depending on what else I have to do that day, I just don't want to and can't bring myself to do it. Like today, I was free at noon, don't have class until 5:30, but rather than spend most of the 5 hours I had working on stuff, I only spent maybe 2 hours and have been dicking around otherwise. I started a paper, but don't want to complete the last third. I had 3 online class things to catch up on, and I did one, but am sick of it now. And I'm supposed to submit some self-reflection exercises for the reiki seminar I took awhile ago by the end of the weekend, but I pulled everything out and.... even though I still have an hour before I need to start getting ready for class, my mind is just like no, fuck that.

I think it makes total sense, logically. My class tonight is 4 hours long. If I know that I'm going into that later, the last thing I want to do before 4 hours of school is 5 more straight hours of school stuff. It's like I'm conserving mental energy for what's to come. But what keeps on happening on the weekends is that I blow off all social invitations with "I have to catch up on stuff" and I feel bad because if I just did it when I had free time all week, I would have my weekends free. Makes me feel like an ass, and lazy, even if it's not technically true.

lynn2009
06-09-2016, 04:22 PM
It's like I'm conserving mental energy for what's to come.

I do this too. I think it's pretty normal. School is hard.

SimoneGray
06-09-2016, 05:11 PM
My confession is that my new favourite song is Company by Justin Bieber...I have literally never liked any of his songs...til this one. lol

lynn2009
06-10-2016, 02:08 AM
Married guy asked me to go visit him later this month or early July and I probably will. I'm feeling kind of desperate for physical affection.

We had a rabbit like you
06-11-2016, 12:18 PM
My Bf's brthers are throwing him a Bach party and he promised he would only go play pool no strippers but I'm worried they're just going to drive him ther anyways..idc if they think it makes me hypocritical, I only go there for money! The idea of another woman let alone another stripper grinding up n him makes my blood boil. I hate working bachelor parties because of how skeevy and grabby they are, I know what goes on and I'm not ok w him paying another woman to get naked right before we commit to each other for life..uhh no. And the only reason I grind up in gross smelly fat dudes is to get paid, I derive negative enjoyment (besides a money high) I'll be pist enough to cancel the wedding if he breaks his promise and idgaf if that makes me "psycho"

SimoneGray
06-11-2016, 02:24 PM
I confess that I'm at the point where I'm ready to take an extended vacation with sun, sea, surf and adventure because my day to day life has gotten boring...oh boy.

Cashmere Star
06-11-2016, 06:15 PM
Haven't danced in almost half a year. Next month I'll be going back after I get my hip problem solved.

whirlerz
06-11-2016, 09:43 PM
Haven't danced in almost half a year. Next month I'll be going back after I get my hip problem solved.

Yea, I hear ya. I finally am going to get on the medicine I was promised, & I'm going bk myself.

Cashmere Star
06-12-2016, 12:05 AM
Yea, I hear ya. I finally am going to get on the medicine I was promised, & I'm going bk myself.

Watching this video (and any stripper related videos in general) makes me itch to go back to the club.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-12-2016, 12:11 PM
Watching this video (and any stripper related videos in general) makes me itch to go back to the club.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4

I miss performing and being a character so badly. Like its to the point where it's all I can think about sometimes. The thing is that I want to work toward long term goals and being a stripper in my area isn't one of them lol. Such low pay, especially given such high contact expectations, damnit LA

charlie61
06-12-2016, 02:50 PM
Going from dancer money to civvie money is like waking up to a bucket of ice water being thrown in your face.

I know why I have this job, and I certainly don't regret taking it (awesome benefits, advancement opportunities, engages my brain, etc.). But...daaaaaaamn. Pay cut!!

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-13-2016, 01:32 PM
The best things I've ever done in life are 1.) act dumb so I'm never a threat, and 2.) at the right times act like everything was accidental and required no effort. Then at other times, act like I worked my ass off when I did not. Anything to not seem like a threat to others. It's all a delicate balance.

I don't mean this maliciously or for personal gain. I'm too empathetic to be a sociopath and I don't care enough to be manipulative Bc I'm too absorbed in my own interests / little world. But if you offend people in a threatening way, they dislike you and try to cut off your mutual contacts and anything you have of value/benefit in their eyes. Aka they cause unnecessary conflict and drama that is a distraction from personal goals.

I also guard things that I'm good at IRL like a hawk so that no one tries to take advantage of me or waste my time by befriending me for the wrong reasons. Time is too valuable.

It's also a threat to even talk about what your plans are or what you're currently doing because you never know when someone secretly wanted to do the same thing and then hates you for you being able to do it.

Seeming dumb is the best route because people also expect less from you lol so when you really need to look impressive to the right people, you will easily accomplish this.

Being a human is so weird.

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-13-2016, 01:48 PM
I ask a lot of questions to people about topics I already know the answer to, but I don't lead on that I know all that stuff. It puts the other person in a master/leader position so they end up revealing to me, totally unbiased and untainted by my opinion (Bc they think I know nothing), their detailed true feelings about things. This is good because I get all the information I'm seeking and more, without seeming like a threat. And I get them to talk when they'd ordinarily probably be more suspicious as to why I'm asking if they knew how much I already know.

I just did this to a nurse today lol. But I do this with everything, especially topics I'm really interested in like skin care for example. I wonder if anyone else's brain works this way.

charlie61
06-13-2016, 07:56 PM
I ask a lot of questions to people about topics I already know the answer to, but I don't lead on that I know all that stuff. It puts the other person in a master/leader position so they end up revealing to me, totally unbiased and untainted by my opinion (Bc they think I know nothing), their detailed true feelings about things. This is good because I get all the information I'm seeking and more, without seeming like a threat. And I get them to talk when they'd ordinarily probably be more suspicious as to why I'm asking if they knew how much I already know.

I just did this to a nurse today lol. But I do this with everything, especially topics I'm really interested in like skin care for example. I wonder if anyone else's brain works this way.

Well, my brain certainly works that way. But I'm not thinking that's of any comfort, considering it's due to my PD. :D

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-14-2016, 08:17 AM
Well, my brain certainly works that way. But I'm not thinking that's of any comfort, considering it's due to my PD. :D

Which PD? I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder (generalized) and my excessive questioning, in that case, is only to reassure me of things so I don't have to do things twice. But what I was talking about is more like a way to seek info that I feel like wouldn't be otherwise readily given to me. I don't even do it on purpose anymore, just out of habit.

chanzep
06-14-2016, 02:37 PM
Going from dancer money to civvie money is like waking up to a bucket of ice water being thrown in your face.

I know why I have this job, and I certainly don't regret taking it (awesome benefits, advancement opportunities, engages my brain, etc.). But...daaaaaaamn. Pay cut!!

This x 100!

Selina M
06-14-2016, 11:33 PM
I get a bizarre pleasure out of price shopping companies to save on bills... I was way too excited to figure out we could share 8GB data instead of unlimited and drop the cell phone bill by $60/month... Just now I was like "Yeah, my car insurance is about to expire, time to see if I can get a better deal!" It makes me feel victorious.

SimoneGray
06-15-2016, 12:00 PM
Got an invite to have drinks with a very lovely guy who is kinda in my friends circle but who I haven't personally hung out with a lot til recently, mostly due to him having a girlfriend. We met like 2 years ago and since then have seen each other maybe two more times at gatherings. There has always been a huge spark there, we have always gotten on so well.

Anyway, he became single in March and I saw him again in April and we hit it off properly this time. So I'm going to have drinks and spend some time with him tomorrow. Its not a date or anything....

My confession is that I probably shouldn't be doing stuff like this when I'm bored with life...I just...I dunno, want to have some fun, get my flirt on...its been 4 years since I really did anything like this and maybe its time to start again. Or maybe I shouldn't. I really don't know. Lol.

lynn2009
06-16-2016, 08:20 AM
I'm legitimately hiding in the bathroom at work today.

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-16-2016, 03:12 PM
I've been using SW threads as a way to unleash my deep thoughts that are too embarrassing/bland for Facebook lol

chanzep
06-16-2016, 05:14 PM
Im such a judgmental bitch!, I judge most of the customers at work based on their looks cheapness etc, because Im so used to it, I look down on them sometimes, I feel so mean the odd time but most of the time I don't give a fuck, I have to mostly keep it to myself too so that my coworkers don't think Im a bitch!.
The vanilla world is so hard and alien to me. I hate the fact I can't put customers in their place. And 90 per cent rude people too.

charlie61
06-19-2016, 12:38 PM
I ask a lot of questions to people about topics I already know the answer to, but I don't lead on that I know all that stuff. It puts the other person in a master/leader position so they end up revealing to me, totally unbiased and untainted by my opinion (Bc they think I know nothing), their detailed true feelings about things. This is good because I get all the information I'm seeking and more, without seeming like a threat. And I get them to talk when they'd ordinarily probably be more suspicious as to why I'm asking if they knew how much I already know.

I just did this to a nurse today lol. But I do this with everything, especially topics I'm really interested in like skin care for example. I wonder if anyone else's brain works this way.

NPD (covert subtype), AvPD (self-diagnosed).

miss.a.p1600
06-19-2016, 01:24 PM
I've been using SW threads as a way to unleash my deep thoughts that are too embarrassing/bland for Facebook lol

Omg. Me too. I was explaining to someone how stripperweb is more interesting to me than Facebook. Facebook I'm going to have to be fake, prim, and proper - too many high class circles and everybody and their grandma on there.

Here, I can let my hair down. Curse. Talk about sex and fucking. Almost any topic that comes to mind unlike Facebook where i have to censor myself way more there than here. I could never use the words sex and fucking on Facebook. Well I could but it would be sensational and people would be offended and messaging me to edit.

lynn2009
06-19-2016, 04:51 PM
I'm dying. I need someone else to write my statement of goals. Please. Pretty please.

xStacey
06-19-2016, 05:33 PM
Summer session end this week, cannot wait to finally have 2 months off school. I am so tired and unmotivated. I want to read novels, magazines, shop, have fun nights out, travel and do other non law-related stuff (and maybe get a rhinoplasty if I am happy with the amount of research I've done by then, if not it will have to wait...).

LizzyMe
06-19-2016, 05:49 PM
I am in the mood to get a good buzz on!!

charlie61
06-19-2016, 06:09 PM
I am so closed off to people these days. I don't know if it's because of the seriousness of everything going on in my life, a result of my age (27), a result of trauma, a result of my self-work, or a combination of everything. I used to be very open to talking to people about myself and sharing personal information, but I'm completely shut down these days. I have no interest in getting to know other people, I have no interest in telling them about myself...I feel so hard and jaded. Very different from even a year or two ago.

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-20-2016, 09:01 PM
My confession is that I've been taking last minute slaves who are drunk only because I know I'll seriously have all the control and always manage to extend one hour into two, three, four or more. You totally shouldn't do that in the BDSM world but I've seen these guys before sober so part of me feels like it's okay.

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-21-2016, 08:42 AM
My dating life reads like a bad episode of Jerry Springer sometimes. There were the brothers that I was dating accidentally. The guy whose sister I fucked just contacted me a year later out of no where, and he doesn't know I even know her because I knew her before I met him and had no idea they were related til I saw one of his photos on Facebook.

And for the latest installment, ladies and gentleman... So remember the guy who added me on Facebook and wanted to hang out? We have several times now. Last night he invited me to a party/art show and I went in blindly. There was no Facebook event page so I couldn't see who was going. So what happens? He's sitting right NEXT to this guy I matched with on tinder whom I had been chatting with and added on Facebook. I immediately went to the bathroom and unmatched him lmao. I don't even use tinder for hookups, I mostly use it, when I'm even on it, for networking, friends, and to add fun people on Facebook who will add me back because we have chatted on there. But this was totally next level. Not only was the guy I met on Facebook all over me, but he was totally just talking about how committed he is to this, and all right in front of that guy. Of course he had no idea. His friend left early and looked really weirded out lmao. I'm half dying, half horrified.

Even weirder, I think I matched with like 15 guys the only day I was back on tinder (I went hidden after a day due to soliciting Instagram messages from randos who saw me on there), and several of them are that guy's friends wtf. I lurked last night and saw so many tagged in pics or commenting. I guess I have a type but LA is so big so how even???

Why does my life always become so bizarre like this?

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-21-2016, 08:52 AM
I am so closed off to people these days. I don't know if it's because of the seriousness of everything going on in my life, a result of my age (27), a result of trauma, a result of my self-work, or a combination of everything. I used to be very open to talking to people about myself and sharing personal information, but I'm completely shut down these days. I have no interest in getting to know other people, I have no interest in telling them about myself...I feel so hard and jaded. Very different from even a year or two ago.

I'm with you. I love being closed off because when I find that I'm open, people either can't handle or believe how crazy my life is/has been (like childhood etc), or they end up befriending me just so I can introduce them for ways to make money in the adult industry, or to poach my friend bases. So now I just simply refuse to open up unless I view the person as having more resources than me (more money so they won't ask about adult industry connections, more friendships, better style, etc etc etc) because otherwise it's just too risky and exhausting to go through opening my personal life up only to have things cut off in 3, 6, 9, 12 months. So instead, if I don't want to be super close, I try my hardest to come off as boring as possible lol.

It's weird because I notice that most people in big cities, like ones who have really set interests, refuse to befriend anyone that doesn't add extreme value to their lives. Like someone whose really knowledgable about specific obscure music they both like, or someone with better fashion sense, or someone who knows a lot of people and can get them into fun parties. For awhile it really bothered me because it seems so judgmental and unfairly discriminatory/restrictive, but I can totally see why they do that now. Being burned too many times or befriended for the wrong reasons is exhausting. But maybe try this approach!

lynn2009
06-21-2016, 04:53 PM
I stayed at work today to do class online and I'm desperate for it to be over so I can go home and drink beer in bed.

Aurora_Sunset
06-22-2016, 08:44 PM
I'll have to stop smoking weed in less than a month so I'm clean by the time I'm drug-tested for a new job... and this makes me insanely sad.

charlie61
06-22-2016, 09:12 PM
I'll have to stop smoking weed in less than a month so I'm clean by the time I'm drug-tested for a new job... and this makes me insanely sad.


I've heard that if you smoke pot regularly, quit, then lose weight (from stress, exercise, or whatever), you may test dirty because of the THC released from your fat stores? Shrugs. Just thought I'd mention it.

xStacey
06-23-2016, 05:47 AM
Really mad at myself but learned a very valuable lesson. No matter how much success you have, it's never a good idea to fall too comfortable.

Being overstressed is not better, the challenge is finding the delicate balance. Nothing catastrophic but I am glad I learned this earlier than later.

miss.a.p1600
06-23-2016, 06:09 AM
I've heard that if you smoke pot regularly, quit, then lose weight (from stress, exercise, or whatever), you may test dirty because of the THC released from your fat stores? Shrugs. Just thought I'd mention it.

Yeah that sucks. I know how you feel aurora sunset. I avoided vanilla jobs for a long time and one of the reasons is invasive drug testing. But sometime gotta do what you gotta do. Especially if you'll get paid more.

Maybe she can do a home test and/or detox before the real one to make sure it's all out the body system.

carmen_b
06-23-2016, 03:09 PM
Everyone varies on the issue! I've actually TRIED to get my bf go with me as a customer and he is NOT INTO AT ALL due to my stories. Poor thing. I think he's ruined for clubs for life. ;/ I hope it works out to where you are both comfy.
My Bf's brthers are throwing him a Bach party and he promised he would only go play pool no strippers but I'm worried they're just going to drive him ther anyways..idc if they think it makes me hypocritical, I only go there for money! The idea of another woman let alone another stripper grinding up n him makes my blood boil. I hate working bachelor parties because of how skeevy and grabby they are, I know what goes on and I'm not ok w him paying another woman to get naked right before we commit to each other for life..uhh no. And the only reason I grind up in gross smelly fat dudes is to get paid, I derive negative enjoyment (besides a money high) I'll be pist enough to cancel the wedding if he breaks his promise and idgaf if that makes me "psycho"

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-24-2016, 06:18 PM
I need to never let anxiety or second-guessing get the best of me. I'm so guilty of overthinking quite often.

So I'm really into this guy right now, like kind of seriously which is rare for me since I'm a casual serial dater, and I lurked and saw his ex of many years and thought "ugh so he's totally into artsy spinners with no boobs or ass, this will never work" despite the fact that me and her look a lot alike aside from that.

The subject of her eventually came up organically and without him knowing I did any lurking on her, so he had no idea I even knew who she was or cared about this. He, out of no where, told me he wasn't really that sexually attracted to her and they had more like a weird mother-son friendship type of relationship that didn't work. He says she had to beg him for sex often and she would cry, all because he didn't see her in a sexual light and tried really hard to. He's only into curvy girls but there's very few in the scenes he's in. There aren't many in art scenes because it overlaps with fashion so much.

From the outside, they seemed like they had a great relationship. I have several mutuals on my FB and saw so many tagged pics where they look so happy. Perception is so weird.

Dying lol RE: my anxiety and brain. This is exactly why you can't let this kind of stuff get to you. Overthinking is so bad!

xStacey
06-24-2016, 11:13 PM
Omg I had such a hot American customer tonight. He wants to see me OTC tomorrow at the W hotel and he has $$$$$, lol I would totally sleep with him for free if I met him outside. I really wanna go but I have my period.

lynn2009
06-25-2016, 06:59 PM
Xxxxxxx

carmen_b
06-26-2016, 10:30 AM
Prrrrrrr with both the hotness and the W. They are such GREAT hotels that the experience would be enhanced too. There are very few truly SEXY hotels and they are completely dialed in .
:)
Omg I had such a hot American customer tonight. He wants to see me OTC tomorrow at the W hotel and he has $$$$$, lol I would totally sleep with him for free if I met him outside. I really wanna go but I have my period.

carmen_b
06-26-2016, 10:32 AM
You might naturally come out of it after some alone time. I have really kept to myself this last year and am starting to feel myself getting more social ect. but wasn't very interested in most of 2015 / early 2016.
I am so closed off to people these days. I don't know if it's because of the seriousness of everything going on in my life, a result of my age (27), a result of trauma, a result of my self-work, or a combination of everything. I used to be very open to talking to people about myself and sharing personal information, but I'm completely shut down these days. I have no interest in getting to know other people, I have no interest in telling them about myself...I feel so hard and jaded. Very different from even a year or two ago.

SimoneGray
06-26-2016, 06:58 PM
Ever since becoming a camgirl its kinda been a ritual to take a short break every 3 months or so. Just a time when I go away for a week, have fun and come back. I now of course crave vacation...I worry that this will bite me in the ass later in life when I maybe don't have as much free time as I do now.

Genoveve
06-26-2016, 10:50 PM
I'm so boy crazy that it's not even funny.

kaninchen
06-27-2016, 07:25 AM
I'm in Paris rn and I'm enjoying hanging out in my hotel room more than anything. I went to the Louvre today and I hated it lol (even though I love art museums!!!) because it was so crowded! I'm way too introverted, I swear.

miss.a.p1600
06-27-2016, 08:00 AM
Went to the coffee shop and was pissed there was a long azz line but I got over it when I Saw a hot guy wearing a what looked like an underarmour shirt but had the word police on the back.

The fabric was thin and I could see his upper body was nicely toned. He looked good in the face. Noticed no ring (always gotta check nowadays).

Omg. What I wouldn't give to have a guy that looked like him. I must have a fetish for hot police officers and hot firemen. I don't think I would date anyone who worked for the government but a girl can fantasize though!

Velveteen.Rabbit
06-27-2016, 05:42 PM
I'm in Paris rn and I'm enjoying hanging out in my hotel room more than anything. I went to the Louvre today and I hated it lol (even though I love art museums!!!) because it was so crowded! I'm way too introverted, I swear.

Did you see the teeny tiny Mona Lisa and die of laughter? Because that was me lol

Aurora_Sunset
06-27-2016, 10:07 PM
So... I found a Book of Clow at Halfprice Books... I bought it. And you bet I sat my ass down right in the middle of the aisle to count those cards to make sure they were all there...

charlie61
06-27-2016, 10:12 PM
Buying makeup is always such a gamble. Even if it looks great on display, it might clash with your skin, your undertones, etc. Sigh.

Aurora_Sunset
06-28-2016, 07:43 AM
So... I was totally that person that called Comcast because my cable "wasn't working".... I had unplugged it from the TV accidentally...

But just by calling, they lowered my rate and gave me extra channels. So, I can deal with my own stupidity.