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Velveteen.Rabbit
10-14-2016, 09:04 AM
I confess that I need to work on myself a bit. I've noticed I have been much less charismatic lately. Years ago I was very outgoing, witty and opinionated and would dominate conversations. I would talk about myself a lot. I've reeled this back A LOT and spent the last 1-2 years really stepping back and doing more listening than speaking, and only really answering questions. I think there's a balance between the two that I haven't found yet however, because I find myself more and more having conversations solely about the other person and I end up leaving dates and new friendships without having said a single thing about myself. I've gone on 3 dates with this one guy who hasn't asked me about my work so I haven't told him I'm a dancer yet. Its starting to feel deceitful even though I would easily tell him if he only asked me what i do for work.

Its becoming almost a self conscious thing-- i think people aren't interested in hearing me talk unless they specifically ask me about something. but its leading to me being very awkward in conversations and shy. I need to get a bit of my old dominant charisma back. i used to have this amazing magnetism about myself that attracted people to me. I was great at carrying the weight of conversations and meeting new people because I would just start talking about whatever I wanted to instead of waiting for the other person to ask me questions. It also made me domineering and intimidating, which I'd like to avoid falling back into. I think there's a happy balance in there somewhere...

That happened to me with adult work. I found myself being way more paranoid and thus listening instead of talking, just because I became skeptical of people.

I feel like I developed that pattern because, if you come right out and talk about adult work (even if you aren't having sex with anyone), for the average everyday person, they think something is wrong with you or automatically deem you a slut. Just like how if you mention you're in school and in the adult world, customers act like you're a magical unicorn even though lots of girls are in school.

I'm thankful I have developed more of a listening mentality, but now I need to get out of that rut since I'm no longer focused on adult work. It's not beneficial to be that way unless you want people to think they can walk all over you lol. It's not good for networking purposes. It's just not a good quality to have in the social world. I was just thinking about this a couple days ago.

Prettyglitter
10-15-2016, 05:25 AM
I haven't danced in almost a year. Sometimes I fantasize about sneaking off and dancing for like two nights LOL. Love being sexy and making money!

Velveteen.Rabbit
10-15-2016, 11:19 AM
Was talking to my ex about how I only get seriously asked out on dates by randoms when I don't wear makeup and he's like "you always attract shitty guys normally because you look like a blow up doll and when you don't wear makeup you look way more girl next door"

He makes so much sense. I just always want to believe that people aren't stereotyping left and right but literally everyone is and it's not going to change.

He was like "when I see big lips or someone with exaggerated curves guess what I automatically think about?" Smh lol.

I am far too logical of a person and if I were to analyze a girl like that, as a guy, I would think "wow she would be least likely to be what I'd think because she probably gets harassed so much." But nope.

Biology wins every time over logic, I suppose.

Velveteen.Rabbit
10-15-2016, 11:32 AM
Oh and we also talked about how certain girls "seem" like sexworkers and why. This came up because I told him how much being a nursing student has positively affected my social & dating life, and what to do to further improve.

So I had to give him a survey. I asked him about a bunch of our mutual female acquaintances, some of which are sexworkers (that he doesn't know about) and some of which are not.

He got each girl 100% spot on when I asked her if he thinks she's a sexworker. 100% of them without hesitation. I asked him the reasoning he had for each girl. The reasons were pretty legit. "She never appears to be at a job" or "She just seems so wild" and all these other reasons.

He told me if I want to further be taken seriously by people, that I should: post pictures at a dayjob, never admit to having done any adult work ever, and lie about my number lmao. He's like "guys say it all doesn't matter but it does. guys just know to pretend it doesn't matter because otherwise feminists will attack them and that's not a conversation they want to have with anyone."

It's funny because men LOVE when women have some stupid dinky day job (he said the same about his crush) and get ultra suspicious if they do not. Even if it pays like $7 per hour. I mean I know LA is different because literally most girls under 30 are some form of sexworker if they don't have a career job, but I didn't know it was this much of an issue lol

whirlerz
10-15-2016, 11:37 AM
I haven't danced in almost a year. Sometimes I fantasize about sneaking off and dancing for like two nights LOL. Love being sexy and making money!

Tell me about it. I need to get.my ass.back! I chickened out again :( this week, now I'm waiting for Sun/Mon cause I don't wanna go in when it's all super busy, + the Cubs/sports shit going on.
I've been also trying to walk in my lowly 5" Pleasers, I have another civvie pair that I have to start out w/, @ least to get used to heel heights 1st

Aurora_Sunset
10-15-2016, 01:45 PM
I'm blowing off a Halloween party tonight to stay home and watch The Incredibles with pizza instead. I internally use the excuse that a critical piece of my costume didn't arrive in the mail on time and I would just look lame, but it's really because the host of this party only wants me to come so she can set me up with her almost-40, dad-of-two friend.... No thank you.

BarbieNYC
10-15-2016, 09:39 PM
Forcing myself to go out with my brothers tonight instead of working. I need a night out away from work and what better way to get over your ex than to go gay bar hopping lol.

My brothers make shitty real life siblings but they are always good for a good time

seashell
10-16-2016, 02:24 PM
I thought I saw my ex-boyfriend at the SC yesterday, and I was SO anxious! I kept trying to get a good look at him, but he was with a girl and kept turning to talk to her every time I looked, so I couldn't fully see his face.

Finally, I asked another dancer to approach him, ask for a dance from him, and find out his name. XD THANK GOD it wasn't him... just a close lookalike... I would have flipped if he saw me stripping. Also, gotta love it when girls have your back. <3

Anna_X
10-17-2016, 03:18 AM
I'm blowing off a Halloween party tonight to stay home and watch The Incredibles with pizza instead. I internally use the excuse that a critical piece of my costume didn't arrive in the mail on time and I would just look lame, but it's really because the host of this party only wants me to come so she can set me up with her almost-40, dad-of-two friend.... No thank you.

May I suggest you nab a copy of this book. I'm reading it now and it's utterly hilarious. In fairness, I give so few fucks about things already and just bought it because I was sold on the title, but it navigates situations like the above and how to say no without putting yourself out x

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Changing-Magic-Not-Giving-Spending/dp/0316270725


Today's confession? I'm putting all of my ex's sh*t into self storage soon until he pays me back the near 1k I loaned him. And if I don't get it back - it's all going to charity.

DonaDiabla
10-17-2016, 05:21 AM
My confession for today is that I am choosing carefully my next vanilla job. Sure, I am doing a few writing and remote real estate gigs in addition to my adult work. However, I would love a real estate management job in which pays well and gives me something challenging to do. I have two jobs interviews on Tuesday and I feel pretty good about them. I am just shopping around for the right fit but hopefully it will be one of those jobs.

LegoMoney
10-17-2016, 09:38 AM
I really, really, really miss my ex. A person who I know for sure hardly thinks of me. When the weather changes and I have idle brain time while slaving away at vanilla work, I just think about him all day. And how much I miss him. It's been so long, and I just feel stupid at this point. I know I'll never care that much about someone again. So I just cycle through casual relationship after casual relationship, hoping that I can again feel something for someone and that they feel something for me too. I want to contact him, but don't want to embarrass myself.

buttonpop
10-17-2016, 03:33 PM
I want to contact him, but don't want to embarrass myself.

I think if someone is on your mind to the point where you keep going back to having feelings for them, and nobody else compares... I think you should contact him! The worst that will happen is that he's flattered but turns you down. Is that worse than how you feel now? I think you should give it a chance. You might regret not taking action.

Genoveve
10-17-2016, 04:23 PM
^^I agree and even if he rejects you, then at least you will have closure and can stop obsessing about 'what could've been' you know? You'll officially be able to start moving on.

seashell
10-17-2016, 06:21 PM
^Yes!! Unless you have a reason not to contact him or he's with someone else, it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll have closure.

No idea what happened to my sleep schedule, but the past two days I've been super tired and spent an absurd amount of time zoned out playing ukulele. I totally improved on a few songs, LOL, but wow I need to get back into a normal routine...

Velveteen.Rabbit
10-17-2016, 10:50 PM
I've been so fucking exhausted for the last week.

miss.a.p1600
10-19-2016, 12:50 PM
At the coffee shop and already Peeped a handful of hot silver foxes. Sexy jazz music playing and I'm watching you watching me. Mmmm

LegoMoney
10-19-2016, 07:18 PM
I handled the situation with the ex. I don't know how it's gonna turn out, but I am determined to press on and keep moving forward.

I also don't feel like going to vanilla work tomorrow. I also thought hard about cussing my boss the fuck out via email today. I am also drunk right now off Hennessy Black.

Confessions....... lol

whirlerz
10-19-2016, 07:37 PM
At the coffee shop and already Peeped a handful of hot silver foxes. Sexy jazz music playing and I'm watching you watching me. Mmmm

Ooh, nice! Get some business cards made up, strike up a convo, & xchange cards!
Also, if you're by an airport, stop on by..lots of restaurants, bars, shops, etc in & around. Tue's supposed to be a good day, lots of bus class flights. :)

Legz541
10-19-2016, 11:13 PM
I called in sick to work tonight. The reality is that my eyes were all swollen and red from crying like 3 hours today. Not fit for makeup and public viewing. Physically sick, emotionally sick, it's none of their damn business.

DonaDiabla
10-20-2016, 05:56 AM
My confession:

I was sick of my potential sugar daddy and decided to get rid of him. He was a negative and whiny son of bitch. He made himself unlikeable to me because he just kept talking about his age. I had to break our arrangement due to his overly negative attitude. Look, I am a pretty happy person and I feel that guys should treat our arrangements with light-heartedness plus wonder. Sugaring should be light-hearted and fun. But I will not stand for men being overly negative or bitchy. What can I say? I love my work and I want my work to be fun. :)

lynn2009
10-20-2016, 07:02 PM
........

Velveteen.Rabbit
10-22-2016, 12:42 PM
The idolization of Instagram fitness models is so weird. They are supposed to be a moniker for health, but literally all of them have multiple plastic surgery procedures they either deny or play down, and most of them are just eating low calorie (replacing meals with calorie-free tea) and have good genes.

I'm obviously not hating because I have multiple plastic surgery procedures too, but it's just bizarre that they are considered health icons when it's all an illusion.

I don't understand how the general public can't catch on. I guess that's why trump has gotten this far lol. No ones brain works I guess.

SimoneGray
10-22-2016, 01:17 PM
The idolization of Instagram fitness models is so weird. They are supposed to be a moniker for health, but literally all of them have multiple plastic surgery procedures they either deny or play down, and most of them are just eating low calorie (replacing meals with calorie-free tea) and have good genes.
.

This. The funniest bit is when you actually see/speak to bikini competitors and fitness models and they talk you through everything that goes into those photo shoots etc...like its literally not real. They do all of the prep in order to look that way for a few hours max. Then there's photoshop. Not even the fitness models look like they do in their pictures. It's so crazy how obsessed we are with capturing a moment that is not real.

seashell
10-26-2016, 12:48 AM
I've been having weird mood swings lately, and am not sure what to do about it... on the one hand, I'm really happy and excited about moving to Europe in a few weeks, thankful that I have money in my bank account, friends & family who are supportive... but on the other hand, I keep spontaneously crying about my ex-boyfriend and I don't know why. It's been a few months and I *know* he was bad for me. I'm sick of thinking about him and I'm sure everyone I know is sick of hearing me vent about this. I guess it's that I wish I had something stable and happy, keeping me here? A good, healthy relationship? I usually get over relationships by replacing the guy immediately, but this is the first time in years that I have chosen to stay single.

I've also been really overwhelmed by dancing... went in on the weekend, had some busy & high earning nights, and socialized with friends as well. I've been in hermit mode for the past couple days as a result... lol

BarbieNYC
10-26-2016, 02:02 AM
I don't know what to do about my best friend.

My best friend in school is in a super shitty situation. She lives in a remote area far away from me and has a bad living situation. She works a measly amount of hours at a retail clothing store and can't find jobs in a better area because public transit/uber is practically unavailable. It'll pretty much be impossible for her to move out unless she quits school and works full time in a better area.

I've toiled with the idea of telling her about dancing but I learned my lesson the first time around trying to help my hs best friebd out. But it really sucks to see her struggling and knowing I can't do much about it.

Her situation has gotten so bad that I bring extra pencils because she never has any for exams. She pretty much goes shopping in my closet every time she sleeps over. My family and I feed her and I go out of my way to give her rides to and from school sometimes even taking her all the way home. She also has been using my phone charger everytime she comes over and actually broke it because she lost hers and hasn't been able to get a new one.

I get a little annoyed with little things but I always try toto remember that aside from telling her about dancing, this is the best I can do for her. Also I think her family is taking advantage of my kindness by not giving her rides close to me and refusing to pick her up from the bus stop. They know I wont let her walk three miles home in the desert. The other day it was raining and they didnt wanna come get her so she ended up sleeping at my house that night.

I love her but im worried I'm starting to feel responsible for her. All my years of helping people out has taught me to just stay out and mind my own business. It's fucked up to say but I'm tired of people taking advantage of me and draining me of my resources. Thankfully I don't see her doing it as long as I never mention dancing cuz she thinks im a broke college student too. But her family is definitely getting to me I dont even wanna think about what they would ask of me if they knew I danced.

Velveteen.Rabbit
10-26-2016, 01:36 PM
I don't know what to do about my best friend.

My best friend in school is in a super shitty situation. She lives in a remote area far away from me and has a bad living situation. She works a measly amount of hours at a retail clothing store and can't find jobs in a better area because public transit/uber is practically unavailable. It'll pretty much be impossible for her to move out unless she quits school and works full time in a better area.

I've toiled with the idea of telling her about dancing but I learned my lesson the first time around trying to help my hs best friebd out. But it really sucks to see her struggling and knowing I can't do much about it.

Her situation has gotten so bad that I bring extra pencils because she never has any for exams. She pretty much goes shopping in my closet every time she sleeps over. My family and I feed her and I go out of my way to give her rides to and from school sometimes even taking her all the way home. She also has been using my phone charger everytime she comes over and actually broke it because she lost hers and hasn't been able to get a new one.

I get a little annoyed with little things but I always try toto remember that aside from telling her about dancing, this is the best I can do for her. Also I think her family is taking advantage of my kindness by not giving her rides close to me and refusing to pick her up from the bus stop. They know I wont let her walk three miles home in the desert. The other day it was raining and they didnt wanna come get her so she ended up sleeping at my house that night.

I love her but im worried I'm starting to feel responsible for her. All my years of helping people out has taught me to just stay out and mind my own business. It's fucked up to say but I'm tired of people taking advantage of me and draining me of my resources. Thankfully I don't see her doing it as long as I never mention dancing cuz she thinks im a broke college student too. But her family is definitely getting to me I dont even wanna think about what they would ask of me if they knew I danced.

If it's who I think it is, I don't think you should tell her. She's wayyyyy too docile and innocent to ever be a dancer and I don't think she would even be okay with trying it. So it seems like way too big of a deal to even mention you dance. If you want to test her, you can always say you just found out your friend is a dancer and asked if you to go with her one night, and then see her opinions & rections to that story.

What if you tell her to take all of her classes online for a couple semesters? She's so young that she can pretty much finish a lot of her GE online that she hasn't completed yet. She can probably work full time while going to school online, and save up. Back when I was a GE student, I took 2-4 of my classes online and had 1-2 classes like MW or TTH early mornings or nights so that I would be able to work full time at the same time. It wasn't really that hard.

And then after she does that, she can take out loans to pay for school when she transfers somewhere that can either pay for herself to live on her own or at least afford her to purchase a cheap car while living at home and commuting to school. I don't think you're able to get loans at a community college level, and once you have a bachelors degree without a detailed plan & petition, but with anything in between that, you should be able to get federal student loans if you're from an economically disadvantaged family.

CandiceS
10-26-2016, 01:43 PM
My confession today: It's been almost 3 months now since I lost my grandad, who pretty much raised me with my grandma. And everyday, I just can't believe it happened.
I just get myself thinking about him and how much we all miss him. I wish I had said "I love you" more times, and enjoyed his company more times while I was focused on silly stuff.
All the money in the world can't buy true love, can't buy the moments we had with our family, can't bring him back
So my advice for the day is: Don't miss the chance of saying you love someone while you can. Your partner, your dog, your family. Life is very very short and we never know, without a note, when it's gonna end.
That's all for today

miss.a.p1600
10-27-2016, 10:14 AM
Just walked into entrance of mega store here and men staring and one greeted me. Im walking fast cause I have no bra on and I hope none of them notice. lol - what if they think my boobs look un-firm? As I finish shopping I see that police officer who looks like jason derulo ... Omg totally hot!

whirlerz
10-27-2016, 10:46 AM
Just walked into entrance of mega store here and men staring and one greeted me. Im walking fast cause I have no bra on and I hope none of them notice. lol - what if they think my boobs look un-firm? As I finish shopping I see that police officer who looks like jason derulo ... Omg totally hot!

No bra? Don't worry, hon, they thought everything's just fine.

DonaDiabla
10-27-2016, 09:59 PM
I confess that I do not understand why Pumpkin spice is even a thing. Plus, pumpkin spice cream just taste crappy :)

miss.a.p1600
10-29-2016, 03:51 PM
Hot guy cooking organic food ...... mmmm

DonaDiabla
10-30-2016, 06:36 PM
I confess that I hate my friend's wedding cake idea. Luckily, she is still deciding on what wedding cake favors to have. However; she really loves fruitcakes, gingerbread cake, and pumpkin spice cake. I can deal with a gingerbread cake but she wants to add pumpkin spice and fruitcake to the mix. Since she is getting married on Valentine's day, I am sure we have plenty of time to cake taste. :)

BarbieNYC
11-01-2016, 08:43 AM
I confess that I was so drunk last night I had to run into the gym in my hoochie costume so I could use the bathroom. Lol thank goodness I don't normally go to that particular location.

Happy Halloween! Lol

CandiceS
11-01-2016, 04:39 PM
I miss escorting in New Zealand. I swear, I do. Of course escorting isn't all about glamour but I miss when I would work just 5 hours and get 1k.
I miss not having to do much to get paid, not deal with freeloaders, not have to pretend I'm happy all the time, not have to answer stupid question, and better...get massages from my clients sometimes, get compliments.
I really really miss those times...

seashell
11-01-2016, 08:26 PM
My family wants to have a going-away party for me before I leave for Europe, and it is stressing me the hell out. D:

miss.a.p1600
11-01-2016, 09:46 PM
OMG! Some fine a$$ police officers at this mega store. Again. YES.

One of the kids friends dad invited me to his seminar. The one I said was a DILF I had fantasized about while I was in a dating relationship with that dude I ranted against on stripperweb all summer. So glad he invited me but I can't go because I don't want to be looking thirsty and number two I think its for married couples. I can only picture stuffy uber conservative people. Actually I just hate going into unknown elements. So yeah I wish I could go to hear his seminar but I can't.

miss.a.p1600
11-02-2016, 04:05 PM
The kid confesses to having expensive taste. Just got me to buy a $7 bar of mostly organic triple French milled soap. really???

CandiceS
11-03-2016, 01:48 AM
My confession today is that lying people crack me up lmao.
But sometimes I think it's sad. I honestly wouldn't stand look myself in the mirror if so much people knew very clear how much I lie. Sad, really :/

BarbieNYC
11-03-2016, 10:33 PM
One of the female professors in the chemistry department gives me hope for my future. I needed help with something and my professor wasn't in and she offered to help me out.

she had acrylic nails with purple glitter, blonde roots done, full face makeup and contour going, and her oufit was on point! She was so smart and explained everything so clearly. I definitelu have to take one of her classes next semester. she also runs lgbt activites on campus. I want to be her in the future!

It really makes me wonder if she was ever a sex worker. That type of confidence, support of the lgbt community, and attention to appearance is special and u don't normally see it among civilian women in the sciences. And she got her degrees from prestigious universities. I hope when I'm around her age I'm that hot and smart.

Also side note. There is a young male professor in the dept who looks like a calvin klein model. Lol!

Glamourmilf
11-04-2016, 07:27 AM
One of the female professors in the chemistry department gives me hope for my future. I needed help with something and my professor wasn't in and she offered to help me out.

she had acrylic nails with purple glitter, blonde roots done, full face makeup and contour going, and her oufit was on point! She was so smart and explained everything so clearly. I definitelu have to take one of her classes next semester. she also runs lgbt activites on campus. I want to be her in the future!

It really makes me wonder if she was ever a sex worker. That type of confidence, support of the lgbt community, and attention to appearance is special and u don't normally see it among civilian women in the sciences. And she got her degrees from prestigious universities. I hope when I'm around her age I'm that hot and smart.

Also side note. There is a young male professor in the dept who looks like a calvin klein model. Lol!

I always think this everytime I go to the bank, and the female tellers and managers are prancing around in micro mini skirts, full makeup, and come fuck me stilettos on.:thinking:

baer45
11-05-2016, 02:08 PM
I need to cut down my tv time. i ran out of shows to watch on netflix and moved to amazon prime video since i have the membership.

This show "Fleabag" on amazon video makes me laugh.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbYkalJTBmY

Velveteen.Rabbit
11-05-2016, 03:22 PM
My only regret with adult work is telling people. Because they'll usually always think it's bad and arguing is pointless because they are entitled to an opinion and trying to prove their opinion is wrong just makes them despise you lol. So I wish I would have never said anything to anyone.

And I wish I would have found a solid lucrative vanilla career from the start, but it takes time to figure these things out.

charlie61
11-05-2016, 09:40 PM
I am so, SO lazy in bed.

Probably an asexual thing...

DonaDiabla
11-06-2016, 07:35 AM
I hate Thanksgiving dinner shopping :)

Aurora_Sunset
11-06-2016, 08:16 AM
Apparently, last night, I spilled my margarita all over my tacos but insisted on boxing them up anyway. They don't smell weird so I'm totally eating them now. Fuck it - I wanted those tacos all goddam day yesterday. Happy birthday to me lol

baer45
11-06-2016, 08:49 AM
Apparently, last night, I spilled my margarita all over my tacos but insisted on boxing them up anyway. They don't smell weird so I'm totally eating them now. Fuck it - I wanted those tacos all goddam day yesterday. Happy birthday to me lol

Yes. happy birthday to you.

KikiGem
11-06-2016, 09:44 AM
I am so, SO lazy in bed.

Probably an asexual thing...

Me too. I don't care about sex at all, and I feel like my life is better without it.

whirlerz
11-06-2016, 10:25 AM
I get so annoyed, w/some of pic posts..I mean yea great love member pics etc. But some of the endless posts..so, I posted my own shit. Yeah!

lilylilylily
11-06-2016, 10:37 AM
I'm starting to have a crush on the new DJ at work. He's such a cutie. He's always complimenting me and hes so fun to talk to. I'm sure he's like that with everyone though and I would never date anyone from work but I just can't help crushing on I'm lol

seashell
11-06-2016, 12:22 PM
I've gotten into a habit of working doubles on Friday and Saturday, then being a stagnant non-exercising couch potato the rest of the week. Partly because I'm exhausted... but my body is so stiff, I need the exercise. Gonna try some yoga + treadmill walking today.