View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
WendiStarr
04-21-2017, 12:42 PM
I didn't quite hit my earnings goal for this week and the booking agency never sent me any new body rub clients. Out of desperation I ended up seeing a former client who I had refused to see again after he had shorted me last time. He didn't this time but still. I'm not happy that I had to resort to that. On the bright side, I'm much closer now. I'm hoping I get a lot of cam and phone clients tonight because I'm not working at all this weekend. I already promised the weekend to my daughter.
LoveyDovey
04-21-2017, 12:58 PM
I confess that I am scared there will be a WW3. I almost feel like constructing an emergency kit so if in the event we are nuked, I'll be somewhat prepared.
whirlerz
04-21-2017, 03:22 PM
Yep, ^ I feel it's on its way.. NK. (N Korea) is one of only 3 countries in the world w/o a world bank.
I'm now looking into getting a gun license, then training & eventually a gun, after this poor lady was raped & strangled in her own apartment this past Sun in my area
ScarletKitten
04-21-2017, 04:41 PM
I confess I'm not working tonight either. I have no motivation.
LoveyDovey
04-21-2017, 04:48 PM
^^No work for me today either. Same reason.
Vyanka
04-21-2017, 06:01 PM
I confess that I am scared there will be a WW3. I almost feel like constructing an emergency kit so if in the event we are nuked, I'll be somewhat prepared.
I stopped watching the news for now. It was fucking with my hustle at work. Shit is depressing.
charlie61
04-21-2017, 06:31 PM
Let's keep political discussions out of this thread. :grouphug:
buttonpop
04-22-2017, 01:07 PM
I broke up with everyone I was dating and I've decided to take an intentional break from dating for a while. I need to seriously think about my priorities. Dating distracts me too much from my goals. I already feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and all the anxiety and stress that had been building over the past few months is gone.
I heard myself telling a friend that if I had a stable fuck buddy that I only ever had to see/talk to once a week for sex I wouldn't even be dating at all. I think that proves I've been dating for the wrong reasons. I've just been hurting people.
chanzep
04-22-2017, 03:06 PM
S/O is just going to have to face the fact that I'm a night owl so that is when I'm less tired/exhausted for whatever reason. That is when I will have to set my schedule up to work around when we move.
On another note, I'm a little worried about how I'm going to get on the internet once we begin to travel late this year - I've done a bit of searching but it's kind of confusing and I *cannot* be on a data plan as I suck those dry lololol.
Tmobile has a unlimited plan with free streaming for youtube.
starburst
04-22-2017, 03:11 PM
I am infatuated with my professor.
BarbieNYC
04-22-2017, 05:49 PM
I don't know how to say this. I think I kept quiet on this for so long because I was ashamed to be communicating with my ex when everyone here knows how awful he was.
things were going good. It's like the roles reversed and he was the one madly in love with me while I was the one still unsure. And I'm not gonna lie it felt good for a while. But then I realized how awful it felt to be on that side of the relationship. He flew me out to ny for spring break and we had a great time together. He was planning and saving to move back to california and being with me. He really tried his hardest to change and show his effort that he was serious about being with me.
but I don't know what possessed me to do this but out of nowhere I ended all communication with him today. I sent him an email and blocked and deleted him everywhere. I feel awful because I remember how it felt to be ghosted on so long ago. I sent him an email to give him some sort of closure bit i still feel like shit. I cried all day and haven't gotten out of bed. I finally ate dinner after not eating all day but could barely eat anything. I feel just as bad as I did when he did this to me, but I don't understand because the breakup was on my terms.
He really did change for the better, but it was too late. I'm sticking by my decision, I just didn't expect to feel as crappy as the first time.
Violethollywood
04-22-2017, 07:32 PM
i went thru my b/f spare phone, got on his instagram and this FAT HEIFER who's engaged sent him a message on instagram being flirty. -- he didn't respond but he didn't tell me about it either - said it was 7 weeks ago that she sent him this shit.
Know what I did? Pull my crazy girlfriend card out and messaged HER on my IG and told her how inappropriate she was and that if she wanted to keep that pretty little ring on her finger to stop with her pathetic advancements ( i went thru his ig and she has liked several of his shit and commented on his old posts from way back when calling him stud and shit. like bitch gtfoh.
So not even his type anyways lhh. But anyways, my bf has no idea i did that although, he wouldn't be surprised if i told him lol.
rareaspasia
04-23-2017, 04:44 AM
I really want a gun, no one ever believes me but Orlando is a very dangerous city. There's an active serial killer in the area (hooray for friends on the opd homicide squad) and I never feel safe. Not even at home.
seashell
04-23-2017, 10:10 AM
I went out with my bf's friends last night, and they're all really awesome. Every single one. They've known each other for a long time, so I feel a bit out of place, but they're all super friendly and welcoming.
Made me wish my old high school friends were still hanging out... I've left two groups of friends because one group was kind of depressing, every time we'd get together they'd use pills recreationally, and the other group was more my ex's friends, who were way older than me/had kids. My friends in Europe were pretty awesome, though. Maybe it's weird, but my current living situation is very temporary, so I'm hesitant to put in the effort to reach out to other people. But I miss having a group of friends like that.
Violethollywood
04-23-2017, 11:08 AM
I hate myself for it but I've gotten agoraphobic i guess . I won't leave the house if my bf is away working, Like I won't even leave the house to walk to the gas station. I'll take the trash out and check the mail but that's the extent of it .My son is 11 months old so i have my hands are pretty full. I just feel like if we left to even walk to the gas station that everyone in their house would be watching us walk up there. I know my looks get attention, im an attractive female. I just hate going out in public without my bf . I feel unsafe, like i could potentially get kidnapped or something else irrational. i'm thinking of getting a vape pen to help me with my anxiety . i used to smoke cigs for that reason alone and i quit 2 years ago. or i might just start back smoking behind my bfs back who knows haha.
one time me and my bf and our son walked to the gas station near us and there was agroup of older men playing cars at a table in there and their jaws dropped when they saw me. It was really uncomfortable i had to say "hello gentleman" in an effort to let them know i see you staring fuckers lol. Ever since then its bothered me . our living situation is temporary now. so yeah dont feel like showing my presence around here any more than i have to.
whirlerz
04-23-2017, 11:37 AM
I hate myself for it but I've gotten agoraphobic i guess . I won't leave the house if my bf is away working, Like I won't even leave the house to walk to the gas station. I'll take the trash out and check the mail but that's the extent of it .My son is 11 months old so i have my hands are pretty full. I just feel like if we left to even walk to the gas station that everyone in their house would be watching us walk up there. I know my looks get attention, im an attractive female. I just hate going out in public without my bf . I feel unsafe, like i could potentially get kidnapped or something else irrational. i'm thinking of getting a vape pen to help me with my anxiety . i used to smoke cigs for that reason alone and i quit 2 years ago. or i might just start back smoking behind my bfs back who knows haha.
one time me and my bf and our son walked to the gas station near us and there was agroup of older men playing cars at a table in there and their jaws dropped when they saw me. It was really uncomfortable i had to say "hello gentleman" in an effort to let them know i see you staring fuckers lol. Ever since then its bothered me . our living situation is temporary now. so yeah dont feel like showing my presence around here any more than i have to.
Yea^. I'm w/ u.
Some of the shit going on, a woman got raped/ murder nearby in her own apartment, my room had peepers&/or potential theives spotted by window..
Some woman was rollerblading in PA, a bunch of 12 yr old swarmed her on bikes & gropped her
Ugh, I need to order some pepper spray, personal alarm, & some other stuff
In Stripping, there's a thread, What u do w$ after work, & there's links to personal safety prods
Sorry if I made u more scared, but there's shit out there we all need to be aware of
Violethollywood
04-23-2017, 12:15 PM
Yea^. I'm w/ u.
Some of the shit going on, a woman got raped/ murder nearby in her own apartment, my room had peepers&/or potential theives spotted by window..
Some woman was rollerblading in PA, a bunch of 12 yr old swarmed her on bikes & gropped her
Ugh, I need to order some pepper spray, personal alarm, & some other stuff
In Stripping, there's a thread, What u do w$ after work, & there's links to personal safety prods
Sorry if I made u more scared, but there's shit out there we all need to be aware of
right, it doesnt make me more scared . the thing is i know i could handle whatever , i'm just idk i guess i just hate being alone. like idk wanna take my son out and be out in public somewhere by myself. that causes me anxiety lol
BarbieNYC
04-23-2017, 01:00 PM
For everyone in the thread who wanted a gun or are worried about their safety I found this non lethal pepper spray gun
https://www.saltsupply.com/products/s1-pepper-spray-gun-starter-kit
Totally wish I could get one, but California doesn't allow them based on, wait for it...the chemical component of the "bullets" -_- smh
Seriously sometimes my state is too ridiculous. I'm thinking of having one shipped to my cousin in vegas and bringing it back to Cali.
vanessa_mtl
04-23-2017, 01:44 PM
Guns are scary having one will only make you more scared. It is more likely to be used on you than on an intruder. Buy pepper spray and an axe at least you won't kill someone by accident with it...
22lligm
04-23-2017, 02:28 PM
Okay I'm really trying NOT to meet guys at work but I literally do nothing else so it's hard to meet them anywhere but the club. Based on experiences it never ends well but I'm so single it hurts lol so I'm going to go out with someone I met last night. He's hot, 29, and is one of the coaches for our city's football team (I googled him and its legit lol). Honestly I'm not holding my breath and not expecting anything from this.. but my dating life is nonexistent and my life is extremely boring lately. Sooo why not. Last night I had to ask myself when the last time I had sex was and I literally didn't know the answer lol. I feel like I need to go on a date with someone before I turn into a crazy cat (or dog) lady.
charlie61
04-23-2017, 03:27 PM
u guyz ur killin da vibe with tha war n gunz talk
WendiStarr
04-23-2017, 06:16 PM
I gave in to my pms chocolate cravings this weekend..okay, more like overindulged. I just need to get sweets out of my apartment.
JenniferNorth
04-23-2017, 07:35 PM
i went thru my b/f spare phone, got on his instagram and this FAT HEIFER who's engaged sent him a message on instagram being flirty. -- he didn't respond but he didn't tell me about it either - said it was 7 weeks ago that she sent him this shit.
So not even his type anyways lhh. But anyways, my bf has no idea i did that although, he wouldn't be surprised if i told him lol.
I totally love you for that! Show her who's the queen!
On a slightly related note, I confess that I have been feeling insecure lately about my relationship with my husband. Nothing recent at all on his end, but I can't stand the thought of living in the same state as his ex and the platonic friend of his who adores ex for whatever fucking weird reason. I feel like I need to formulate a plan or something. I basically want to intimidate the hell out of his ex so she doesn't even dare step foot near us. I want to gag at pretty much everyone my husband has been involved with pre me. Everyone is either butt ugly/homely, or crazy weird with mega drama. I don't do drama, but I don't tolerate stupid little girls, either (I'm older than he is, and naturally many of his exes were young and stupid). Blah. I am just not a fan of people.
Cashmere Star
04-23-2017, 08:39 PM
i only became a stripper because i thought it'd make me edgy and cool lol
Selina M
04-23-2017, 08:58 PM
I'm all "rah rah feminism, I'm a bad bitch!" most of the time in public...
But I just enjoyed putting away SO's laundry. I also like cleaning the house while he's out at poker night.
Then again, isn't the actual basic tenet of feminism to do what YOU wanna do? So it's ok to like doing that stuff as long as I'm doing it cheerfully and not because he expects me to?
absolutelyadorable
04-24-2017, 08:06 AM
I'm now looking into getting a gun license, then training & eventually a gun, after this poor lady was raped & strangled in her own apartment this past Sun in my area
Me too! I'm seriously looking into getting one for my house at least (no license needed for that, just registration) because some lady got killed down the street from me. Smh. I'm not with the bullshit.
buttonpop
04-24-2017, 09:14 PM
I have $250 worth of things in my amazon cart just sitting there.... waiting to see if I will be financially irresponsible enough to indulge... mostly pin up girl clothes, makeup and beauty stuff.
charlie61
04-24-2017, 10:14 PM
I have $250 worth of things in my amazon cart just sitting there.... waiting to see if I will be financially irresponsible enough to indulge... mostly pin up girl clothes, makeup and beauty stuff.
I have a trick where I minimize the Amazon screen, go do something else for a few hours, and then I only let myself buy whatever I can remember putting in my cart (without peeking at my cart). I'm usually only excited about / in need of a fraction of what's in my cart. I remove anything that I couldn't remember putting in there (i often move those items into my wish list).
Aurora_Sunset
04-25-2017, 05:08 AM
I've been binge watching The Office again recently, and the last 2 nights I've had sex dreams about Dwight... not even his actor, but the character himself.... o.O WHY?
carmen_b
04-25-2017, 05:07 PM
Dwight would be such a wild card! He'd either be totally amazing with his tendency to research things / being kind of nerdy / trying harder OR it could go the other way and be so bad ! Ha.
ScarletKitten
04-25-2017, 05:45 PM
I've been binge watching The Office again recently, and the last 2 nights I've had sex dreams about Dwight... not even his actor, but the character himself.... o.O WHY?
omfg, hahaha! I don't know why but that's kind of hot. lmao. He is not attractive or sexy by any means whatsoever, but for some reason that makes it naughty. Like, secret nerdy sex that you wouldn't dare tell anyone about. So, was the sex in the dream good?
Aurora_Sunset
04-26-2017, 05:56 AM
omfg, hahaha! I don't know why but that's kind of hot. lmao. He is not attractive or sexy by any means whatsoever, but for some reason that makes it naughty. Like, secret nerdy sex that you wouldn't dare tell anyone about. So, was the sex in the dream good?
Yeah, it was! Which made it so confusing to wake up. lol XD
WendiStarr
04-26-2017, 07:19 PM
I have a phobia of outhouse bathrooms. They're poorly lit, smelly, dirty, 99% of the time have broken locks on them, and are just generally creepy as hell. There's something very unsettling to me about exposing my most sensitive parts to the black abyss of outhouse toilet hole, where some creepy, doo-doo-loving critter could possibly be lurking in, ready to bite my ass or lady bits. Also, thanks to camming and dudes with creepy toilet fetishes I imagine disgusting creeps hiding out in or near the bathroom, watching, waiting for someone to go in there. Normally I will send my bf into the bathroom of unknown type first to check it out. If it's an outhouse toilet, I sure as heck am not going inside! I was at a new park that I'd never been to before and I really had to go. I seen a creepy looking bathroom and told my bf to go inside to see what kind of toilet it is. He'd argued that he'd already peed (outside) and wasn't going to go in there. My bladder was to the point of exploding so I went in there and there was a frickin' dead possum in the creepy outhouse toilet. That freaked me out. I went running out of there. No way in heck, man!
chanzep
04-26-2017, 07:29 PM
^ omg Possums are scary. I would have peed outside somewhere!.
WendiStarr
04-26-2017, 09:53 PM
^ I did after that. Damn outhouse toilets and their creepiness and critters.
ScarletKitten
04-27-2017, 08:51 PM
I confess I still love the Backstreet Boys. Don't judge me.
whirlerz
04-27-2017, 08:57 PM
One of the things I like about this one forest preserve i by me s they have real flush toilets..I mean they're old, kinda grungy metal ones but there's @ least toliet paper always & again a metal but working sink, even a hand dryer
MzBlondie
04-28-2017, 09:14 AM
Been lazy at work last couple times working. I do well in the beginning but then just would rather chat with fellow workers. I'm dong well without the club work but it's nice additional income.
seashell
04-29-2017, 06:38 PM
I really want to go to EDC in Vegas, but I don't do drugs other than marijuana, and I don't know if I'd have a good time/would want to stay for all 3 days. I really looove dancing, going to shows, and loud music, though... and my bf's friends are going, so there would be a fun group to hang out with. Hmmm...
BarbieNYC
04-29-2017, 07:10 PM
^^^EDC is a grand old time even without the drugs! I might go too, but I usually just get cross faded I don't take pills.
JenniferNorth
04-29-2017, 11:08 PM
Dying to go to EDC over here-go! I also dont do anything aside from weed here and there. If you go-pictures! I love the sets and how the dancers there dress.
Elektra Luxx
04-30-2017, 12:24 PM
My ex-bf, he's good dad, sweet, so good-looking and I was in completely in love with him, but he was recently divorced and I didn't want to commit. I was totally okay with that. We weren't committed, but exclusive. Right? Wrong! I surprise him at his apartment on a Sunday morning with breakfast and find he with his skinny, tit-less, teenage, bitch, slut neighbor walking around in panties. And I'm like "Oh, I didn't know you had company, well I brought y'all some breakfast, hope you don't choke ASSSSHOLE!!" I didn't want to admit it, but that one hurt and still hurts. I vowed to myself I would stay strong and never see that asshole again and with lynn2009's help I did. Thank you lynn2009, I love you babe, but I let us both down.
That said I screwwww up big time yesterday. I ran into my ex-bf. I really don't want to go into all the details, but he knows just how to get to me. Just what to say and long story short, he just left my apartment awhile ago. Now that he's gone I'm ssssoooo pissed at myself. We laying in bed I literally had to hold my mouth close to stop myself from saying "I love you." I'm pathetic!!!!
ScarletKitten
04-30-2017, 07:45 PM
^I swear, love is the most dangerous drug. The high that you get from love is the best high ever. But the comedown is a bitch! When that love is gone, there is no worse withdraw on the face of the Earth.
I hope things work out for you in the end. I really, really do. I am always rooting for love to win in the end. I don't care if I sound sappy right now, it's fucking true.
JenniferNorth
04-30-2017, 07:59 PM
Had to say thats very poetic. The best high ever...The worst withdraw...I couldn't have said it better myself.
Elektra, I hope you're okay. I know how it is. ((hugs))
WendiStarr
05-01-2017, 12:44 PM
I seen fuck buddy for the last time today. I had my phone off because I didn't feel like talking to anybody and had just finished working out when he showed up. I looked out the peephole and when I seen that it was him, I gave in. I always do. He said that he had tried to call me but it said my phone was out of service so he decided to just show up(he had a habit of doing that anyways). He knows I won't say no. I was kind of embarrassed because I was all sweaty in gym clothes, wild hair, no makeup. Apparently that didn't turn him off. Nothing does. Of course he came in and we had amazing sex. I let him come inside me even though I shouldn't have because I'm not on birth control(he knows). I just got off of my period yesterday so I doubt anything will happen. Afterwards he told me that he's going back out of state(he was only in our home state temporarily for work). I felt like telling him to stay because maybe I love him or something. I don't know. I just know that I think about him all the time, he gave me the best sex that I've ever had in my life, but yet no emotional connection from him(other than his drunken "I love you" texts and online messages) so why the hell I have the feels for him is beyond me. I didn't say anything though because I get the feeling it wouldn't have mattered anyways. I mean, regardless he's leaving. All he had to say to me before he left was that he enjoyed our time together, to make sure I go get Plan B since he came in me, and to not change my number because he wants to see me if he ever comes back. I seriously cried my eyes out when he left. I feel so stupid. Dammit. Between bf being an asshole and fuck buddy being the confusing way he is..yes, I know I'm fucked up. Fuck buddy was the one who gave me the good sex while bf has ED and seems to care more about having a non-sexual activity partner to eat with, go shopping with, cook with, etc.
chanzep
05-01-2017, 05:46 PM
gave in to my bread craving today, fuck it im on my period, went to subway and got a roast beef sub plus extra bread to eat with my dinner later.
baer45
05-01-2017, 10:04 PM
I am "broke". Not broke broke, I spent every penny I have in the last two months. Now my Bank account only has $1900 in it, which I needed to pay rent pretty soon.
add:Sorry, I went to bed after posting this. So basically, I bought a condo in Boston. I don't live there but it seems like a great investment opportunity to me. It's a 2-bedroom, great location, 3-4 minutes walk to the T station...anyway, I decided to pay it off with some help from a "friend" (biggest purchase in my life). So I am penniless but I have no mortgage either. It will collect $2300-$2500 rent per month for me. My brother lives very close by and he be will my helper if the tenant needs anything.
My goal is to buy another property and pay it off before I start collecting social security :). That being said, I need to get a vanilla job to meet the social security income requirement. So here I am, start from zero again, with all the big dreams, fearless attitude. I can do it! right ladies?
JenniferNorth
05-02-2017, 07:27 AM
Chanzep, I had bread for the both of us yesterday! Fuck feeling fat and my hubby's comments about not being active-I wanted my damn carbs.
WendiStarr
05-02-2017, 08:50 AM
I am "broke". Not broke broke, I spent every penny I have in the last two months. Now my Bank account only has $1900 in it, which I needed to pay rent pretty soon.
add:Sorry, I went to bed after posting this. So basically, I bought a condo in Boston. I don't live there but it seems like a great investment opportunity to me. It's a 2-bedroom, great location, 3-4 minutes walk to the T station...anyway, I decided to pay it off with some help from a "friend" (biggest purchase in my life). So I am penniless but I have no mortgage either. It will collect $2300-$2500 rent per month for me. My brother lives very close by and he will my helper if tenant needs anything.
My goal is to buy another property and pay it off before I start collecting social security :). That being said, I need to get a vanilla job to meet the social security income requirement. So here I am, start from zero again, with all the big dreams, fearless attitude. I can do it! right ladies?
I know the feeling. I panic when my bank account goes under a certain amount. I would definitely be freaking out if it was at $1900. It was at $1200 back in early 2015 after I bought myself breast implants. It sounds like you made a smart investment though and have a plan. I am sure that you will be able to do whatever you set your mind to. Find a vanilla job in the mean time.
baer45
05-02-2017, 09:25 AM
I know the feeling. I panic when my bank account goes under a certain amount. I would definitely be freaking out if it was at $1900. It was at $1200 back in early 2015 after I bought myself breast implants. It sounds like you made a smart investment though and have a plan. I am sure that you will be able to do whatever you set your mind to. Find a vanilla job in the mean time.
Yes, I paniced. I almost fainted when I handed over that check. It sucks to look at that bank balance. I was poor as a church mice back in college, that was horrible. Even after I started to dance, I still need to pay off my student loan. I swore to myself that I won't be that poor again. I know I am not literally broke but this surely brings back some feelings...deja vu!
About the vanilla job, I have been searching a good one for a while now. Honestly I am not very confident. I could have semi retired if I had found it last year. No luck yet so far. I still see clients and take care of myself. It definitely put more pressure on me. I might go on a tour again which I haven't done it for years.