View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
Vyanka
05-15-2017, 01:35 PM
I want to get on the pill, just to stop my libido temporarily. I don't see the point having it, when there is no one out there I'm meeting worth a fuck. Sometimes I make stupid decisions when I'm in need.
I'm just scared of mood swings and depression. One made me feel suicidal once. Forgot the name, and apparently I wasn't the only one who felt like that. Scary.
It made my skin yellow and I felt sick. Had a fever, etc.
I don't want to gain water weight and lose hair either.
So much risks.
Fuck, why are BC pills the devil man??!
whirlerz
05-15-2017, 03:50 PM
I want to send myself flowers this weekend @ my hotel for my B day..is that lame?
Vyanka
05-15-2017, 04:39 PM
I want to send myself flowers this weekend @ my hotel for my B day..is that lame?
Not at all. People buy themselves flowers to put in their homes to enjoy. Why should a hotel be different? ;)
whirlerz
05-15-2017, 05:09 PM
Thanks, I meant is sending flowers to myself lame, but cool. What the hell
DonaDiabla
05-15-2017, 05:33 PM
I confess that is hard to get an studio on feminist clip sites such as Pinklabel Tv. Why? Because they want "pieces of work with narrative or experimental arches" I did not that you needed to create an whole art house movie to get approved by them ;) Yeah, I am not doing all of that right now ;)
miss.a.p1600
05-15-2017, 05:38 PM
I feel like I have to block guys on Facebook if they try to date me and it doesn't workout because keeping them as Facebook friends is useless.
If you ain't paying, you ain't staying because My Facebook friend wall is prime real estate.
Just to be honest, I am stuck up on Facebook.
And I don't unfriend, I block because Facebook is so dumb they will put you right back in that persons "friends you may know" list notifying them, further letting them know you unfriended them. You can't undo an unfriend move. Blocking them usually takes most people a while to notice and if you change your mind you can unblock them anytime. I never change my mind though.
I confess that is hard to get an studio on feminist clip sites such as Pinklabel Tv. Why? Because they want "pieces of work with narrative or experimental arches" I did not that you needed to create an whole art house movie to get approved by them ;) Yeah, I am not doing all of that right now ;)
Never heard of that site. But upon further review, just by looking at the film cover art all I can say is ..... wowzers!!!
And I'd do just about anything to be a porn film director or producer - to watch porn AND get paid to do it?!? ...... shiiiit - where do I sign up? Lol.
charlie61
05-16-2017, 12:28 AM
I have no sense of purpose in my life whatsoever.
persianprincess
05-16-2017, 08:36 AM
^^^ have had moments like this.
Turning down appointments today just because I don't have the capacity to deal, just going to ride it out til I'm back in NY next week.
Some guy said ... your rates should be higher ... on one hand thanks for the compliment? On the other hand don't comment on my business model when you've never been in the business fuckhead.
KivaWithAnI
05-16-2017, 09:20 AM
I actually hate sex.
miss.a.p1600
05-16-2017, 10:38 AM
^^^omg.
yeah most dudes peen and tongue skills are wack!
Genoveve
05-16-2017, 04:23 PM
I'm a very self-involved person. Not selfish or narcissistic or anything. I'm just very much in my own world. Focused on my own health, thoughts, wants and needs. Definitely creates problems with friendships/ relationships. People feel like I forget about them. And I kind of do.
I think you just need friends that are the same way, myself and my friends fit your description.
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-17-2017, 09:57 AM
I am so tempted to cheat on my current SO & I think he knows it. However I'm going to be mature here & wait until the correct time to start having sex with this other guy.
seashell
05-17-2017, 04:24 PM
Not sure why, but I don't like talking about my problems with other people. I either write about it (sometimes here) by myself, or I distract myself until I forget about it. This is probably why I have so many hobbies. I love immersing myself into things like learning languages, playing music, creative writing, or drawing, so that it takes up all my brainpower and I stop worrying about anything else. It's like a drug in some ways, lol.
whirlerz
05-17-2017, 05:42 PM
Well, my itsy bitsy spider is back in my tub, so there's that.
Gonna have to relocate him / her or put temporarily in a jar so I can use the tub
whirlerz
05-18-2017, 02:35 PM
Ok, now I feel like a dope :(. Signed up for a 1 day art class, which I'm excited about, paid for it, previously put $ in the bank, but it says pending & it's cash deposit?
Then like an idiot I called / emailed the art studio, thinking they changed me an extra deposit on top of the class charge.
I emailed n said nvr mind but:-[
xStacey
05-19-2017, 07:55 AM
I want to get on the pill, just to stop my libido temporarily. I don't see the point having it, when there is no one out there I'm meeting worth a fuck. Sometimes I make stupid decisions when I'm in need.
I'm just scared of mood swings and depression. One made me feel suicidal once. Forgot the name, and apparently I wasn't the only one who felt like that. Scary.
It made my skin yellow and I felt sick. Had a fever, etc.
I don't want to gain water weight and lose hair either.
So much risks.
Fuck, why are BC pills the devil man??!
Sigh I hate having the libido of a teenage boy and I never meet anyone worth fucking, so many assholes. I've been really thinking about escorting.
Aurora_Sunset
05-19-2017, 12:20 PM
I've lost motivation to care about taking care of myself the last couple weeks, because in general, I just hate my look. It doesn't matter how much I work out, or how happy I am with my ass or stomach, I don't like my nose, I don't like my uneven eyelids, I don't like my hair and the fact that no matter how many fucking hairdressers I go to and show pictures to, not a goddam one can get the colors right, I want piercings but don't think they'd look good on me unless I got the facial surgery I want... like... I am just effing sick of looking like the plain-jane "girl next door" with the mild blonde highlights and crooked nose. But aside from going nuclear and spending all my money and my entire summer fixing these things, there's really nothing I can do about my general "look."
I'm probably being incredibly overdramatic and oversensitive to my faults. I know I'm capable of making good money as a sex worker so obviously I'm not hideous... I just don't like what my "look" is.
xStacey
05-19-2017, 01:16 PM
I've lost motivation to care about taking care of myself the last couple weeks, because in general, I just hate my look. It doesn't matter how much I work out, or how happy I am with my ass or stomach, I don't like my nose, I don't like my uneven eyelids, I don't like my hair and the fact that no matter how many fucking hairdressers I go to and show pictures to, not a goddam one can get the colors right, I want piercings but don't think they'd look good on me unless I got the facial surgery I want... like... I am just effing sick of looking like the plain-jane "girl next door" with the mild blonde highlights and crooked nose. But aside from going nuclear and spending all my money and my entire summer fixing these things, there's really nothing I can do about my general "look."
I'm probably being incredibly overdramatic and oversensitive to my faults. I know I'm capable of making good money as a sex worker so obviously I'm not hideous... I just don't like what my "look" is.
Omg I was thinking the same thing this morning... I know it's ridiculous, but I feel the same way. I don't like my nose and no matter how much I work out, how much I love my body, how well-dressed and groomed I am, I feel my nose ruins everything and I feel hideous. I am tired of my hair style I've had since forever, but to cut it short or to do anything drastic wouldn't suit my current facial features. I am really thinking about finally getting my nose done, along with a chin implant to balance out next summer after I graduate so I could stop obsessing about it.
I know it could be worse, but I'm not happy. This morning after I got ready, I just felt like un-doing everything and thinking it would be so much more simple if I just got my nose done I would be happy being all-natural, it would save so much time everyday and make my life so much easier...
I say go for it if you've wanted it for a long time !
Aurora_Sunset
05-19-2017, 01:28 PM
Omg I was thinking the same thing this morning... I know it's ridiculous, but I feel the same way. I don't like my nose and no matter how much I work out, how much I love my body, how well-dressed and groomed I am, I feel my nose ruins everything and I feel hideous. I am tired of my hair style I've had since forever, but to cut it short or to do anything drastic wouldn't suit my current facial features. I am really thinking about finally getting my nose done, along with a chin implant to balance out next summer after I graduate so I could stop obsessing about it.
I know it could be worse, but I'm not happy. This morning after I got ready, I just felt like un-doing everything and thinking it would be so much more simple if I just got my nose done I would be happy being all-natural, it would save so much time everyday and make my life so much easier...
I say go for it if you've wanted it for a long time !
Right!? I fantasize that if my face just looked like I wanted it to, I'd be happier not worrying about other things, because most days I don't anyway. I've stopped even really looking in the mirror lately. I know I'm not unattractive, but that doesn't mean I like the way I look. It's a weird feeling.
I think I might schedule a surgery consult next month, see what the payment options are like.
xStacey
05-19-2017, 01:51 PM
Right!? I fantasize that if my face just looked like I wanted it to, I'd be happier not worrying about other things, because most days I don't anyway. I've stopped even really looking in the mirror lately. I know I'm not unattractive, but that doesn't mean I like the way I look. It's a weird feeling.
I think I might schedule a surgery consult next month, see what the payment options are like.
I know exactly how it feels... I am sure you are gorgeous, I won't repeat all the things people probably already told you over and over about how you don't need it, because I hear it all the time LOL... I know it's stupid to feel this way. When I was doing a professional photoshoot for my LinkedIn profile with the same photographer who did my erotic pictures (she's amazing !!) I was so self-conscious because the focus was on my face and she told me, listen, there's are people who look way worse than that who come here to take pictures so you will stop this. If I could go back to my younger self when I was your age I would tell her to stop worrying about those little things and enjoy life because it is so short... It is true and very wise, but I know what it feels like to not like something.
I too, stopped looking at myself in the mirror, although I know I am not ugly lol... Ughhh... There's so many good surgeons in the US, if it makes you happier I say go for it. People I talk to who had rhinoplasty and are happy with their results only wish they didn't get it done sooner. I am replying to your message we can discuss more about rhinoplasty in private !! I don't want a warning haha :P
xStacey
05-19-2017, 08:16 PM
I've been thinking so much lately. I've always avoided it, but now I realize I have to. I have a lot of changes coming up this summer and next year. I've been working on myself and doing a lot of self-reflection. It will take time, but I am proud I am taking the first steps in the right direction. I was feeling very unhappy and I blamed it on my dysthymia, but I eventually realized those feelings are trying to tell me something that I must make changes in my life and I already feel so much better.
I realized that material goods won't make up for what is missing in my life. I cut off the toxic relationships I've been holding unto for the last few years, I feel so lonely at times, but I've decided to get out of my bubble and make the time to meet people, it's not opportunities that were missing, I was simply avoiding them. I stopped trying to self-medicate with sex and alcohol. I am now working on myself from within, and not just on the surface.
miss.a.p1600
05-20-2017, 08:48 AM
I love my family members but I wish I could love them from a distance. I always feel weird around them like I can't be myself. I am very different from them and if I didn't look like them I'd think I was adopted.
I feel bad but I feel inconvenienced and obligated when they ask me to hang out with them. I also am not a fan of random phone conversations.
Maybe it's me. Maybe it's them.
My only solution is to move to a remote tropical island and video chat them on holidays and birthdays. With the once a year obligatory face to face holiday gathering.
Elektra Luxx
05-20-2017, 08:15 PM
What does a girl do when she's addicted to sex with one particular guy?
whirlerz
05-20-2017, 08:36 PM
Try to 'divert' your self w/something else^
baer45
05-20-2017, 08:40 PM
What does a girl do when she's addicted to sex with one particular guy?
Sexual cannibalism
miss.a.p1600
05-21-2017, 07:10 AM
^^^ hahaha. I remember you saying one would need a strong stomach for that so make sure you have some TUMs available.
Depends. If he's cool then keep him around. But probably have a new dude on standby because once dudes know they have you hooked they may start playing mind games.
If he's an asshole then ditch him cold turkey and get a good vibrator and or a new lover.
Sometimes you have to let them know your pussy is more powerful than their dick lol Like yeah dude you have good dick but if you act like a beyotch you will be replaced by newer and better dick.
We had a rabbit like you
05-21-2017, 08:41 AM
I just read that 80% of women think they look much younger than their age (anectodal experience would put it closer to 95% of females believing this)..which logically can't be possible. I'm one of those *perhaps* dillusional people and I wonder why it's such a common belief. I'm guessing that
1) people really do look younger than their parents/grandparents due to better health and diet etc and we need to reassess what 30/40/50 looks like nowdays
2) it's all subjective, what looks 25 to me could look younger to another. I look the same as I did at 19 because maybe I just looked old at 19? No idea.
3)it's the default compliment for all women (which is why I disregard those comments from men at the club)
Anyways, I find it interesting because people will be loathe to brag or even acknowledge their own thinness , beauty, income, etc because it's so taboo for females to admit to any of that, but look in any Internet comments section about looking younger and there will be comment after comment of normal looking people talking about how they look like teens.
some ppl really DO look five , MAYBE 10 years younger, but not as many as are saying they do so that just totally gave me a wake up call that I was one of those ppl lmaoi don't believe ppl can really subjectively judge themselves
miss.a.p1600
05-21-2017, 09:11 AM
^^^Thats an interesting topic
Maybe it's the media in ameRican culture? They are constantly pushing anti aging products especially to women.
Like once you're over 25 - you're old lol Even Kardashians know this and the fake outrage of Kendall on an Estée Lauder ad (a company know for marketing to middle aged women)
Many people/places in American society are ageist.
It's almost like women have to have confidence in their anti-aging qualities to be considered to others as appearing youthful to avoid being subjected to discrimination based on age.
WendiStarr
05-21-2017, 10:07 AM
I used the men's bathroom at Kroger. A male employee had women's bathroom blocked for cleaning. He said it'd be 15 mins but I really had to go. An old man was walking into men's bathroom when I was walking out. He asked me if I realized it was men's bathroom. I said,"I know. I had to drain my trouser snake". He just looked at me. I seen him again in aisle and he was staring at my crotch...lol
miss.a.p1600
05-21-2017, 10:35 AM
Omg that's hilarious.....don't mind me I'm just leaking the lizard! Lol. For some reason men's bathrooms seem grosser to me than women's. I know It's probably irrational but they seem like they piss n shit all over the seats and wouldn't clean up after themselves. But guess you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.
My confession:
Dearest friends and family,
I love you all but please don't get offended and act weird when I return from long breaks after being bombarded with social stimulation and societal expectations.
Elektra Luxx
05-21-2017, 11:59 AM
I used the men's bathroom at Kroger. A male employee had women's bathroom blocked for cleaning. He said it'd be 15 mins but I really had to go. An old man was walking into men's bathroom when I was walking out. He asked me if I realized it was men's bathroom. I said,"I know. I had to drain my trouser snake". He just looked at me. I seen him again in aisle and he was staring at my crotch...lol
That's really funny!!! I just keep imagining the look he gave you! I can't stop laughing!
chanzep
05-21-2017, 06:13 PM
HA ha yes^.
We had a rabbit like you
05-22-2017, 07:33 AM
Just followed a bunch of strippers on IG cause I miss dancing sooo. Damn. Much..
I had a dream about going back last night.
I just can't stand the thought of my baby crying for me all night while I work , bah..he needs to be more of a daddy's boy cause I miss making money !!
Glamourmilf
05-22-2017, 09:00 AM
It could also be a combination of all that and
4, People have an inaccurate idea of what a certain age is "supposed" to look like.
Tbh I feel like everyone assumes a woman must look like a dried up raisin at 30 so when women don't look like old ladies at 25-30+ people are like OMG you look so young! When in reality many of these women just look their actual age but since society forces us to believe a woman older than 25 is old people expect women to look way older than they do.
The exception to aging. Cher at the Billboard music awards last night.
71 is the new 30.
48097
Vyanka
05-22-2017, 09:10 AM
^^^Thats an interesting topic
Maybe it's the media in ameRican culture? They are constantly pushing anti aging products especially to women.
Like once you're over 25 - you're old lol Even Kardashians know this and the fake outrage of Kendall on an Estée Lauder ad (a company know for marketing to middle aged women)
Many people/places in American society are ageist.
It's almost like women have to have confidence in their anti-aging qualities to be considered to others as appearing youthful to avoid being subjected to discrimination based on age.
Region plays a role, for sure. I was in LA over the wknd, at some bar and some guy(mid 40s) tells me I'm a hot 35 yr old. Um, dude...you're like slightly older than me. Why couldn't he just drop the age, and leave it at hot? It's that Peter Pan syndrome.
I can let that slide from a teenage boy or even a dumb 21 yr old. These stupid men my age or older telling I look good for whatever, makes me want to smack em. Lol.
miss.a.p1600
05-22-2017, 05:02 PM
The exception to aging. Cher at the Billboard music awards last night.
71 is the new 30.
48097
Well she has had some help from rejuvenations and surgeries and whatnot. But she looks good regardless. Very natural look. I'd kill to look that good at 70
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-23-2017, 08:51 PM
I just read that 80% of women think they look much younger than their age (anectodal experience would put it closer to 95% of females believing this)..which logically can't be possible. I'm one of those *perhaps* dillusional people and I wonder why it's such a common belief. I'm guessing that
1) people really do look younger than their parents/grandparents due to better health and diet etc and we need to reassess what 30/40/50 looks like nowdays
2) it's all subjective, what looks 25 to me could look younger to another. I look the same as I did at 19 because maybe I just looked old at 19? No idea.
3)it's the default compliment for all women (which is why I disregard those comments from men at the club)
Anyways, I find it interesting because people will be loathe to brag or even acknowledge their own thinness , beauty, income, etc because it's so taboo for females to admit to any of that, but look in any Internet comments section about looking younger and there will be comment after comment of normal looking people talking about how they look like teens.
some ppl really DO look five , MAYBE 10 years younger, but not as many as are saying they do so that just totally gave me a wake up call that I was one of those ppl lmaoi don't believe ppl can really subjectively judge themselves
Genetics are a HUGE factor in looking younger than your calendar age. My mom and dad both have good genes in that regard & I got them.
Makeup makes a huge difference too.
We had a rabbit like you
05-25-2017, 11:09 AM
^no doubt, esp if you have more melanin! Up to half of how you age is attributed to genetics they say.
It's the people who claim to look "19 at 45!" that make me internally raise my eyebrows and go "yeah ok Nancy" cause looking THAT dramatically younger is smthg I've personally never seen. (Not saying that's you, just giving it as an example cause I've read that so much lol).
I also feel that women can look beautiful and sexy without looking younger than their age , and I'm trying to erase the years of social conditioning that youth and female Infantilization = beauty. I've just caught myself many times thinking "looking younger is the end all be all of beauty and female success" and seen it again and again w others. I'm horrible w it , so that article gave me a wake up call
Sorry for the thread derailment mods lol, I'll stop!
seashell
05-25-2017, 01:31 PM
I love my boyfriend, but I told him yesterday that since he's coming with me to Czech Republic in September, and flying back to the US for a friend's wedding in January, I would understand if he decided not to come back. Maybe that's a weird thing to say? I'm just so nervous he won't like it, and I want to give him an "out."
baer45
05-25-2017, 02:02 PM
I love my boyfriend, but I told him yesterday that since he's coming with me to Czech Republic in September, and flying back to the US for a friend's wedding in January, I would understand if he decided not to come back. Maybe that's a weird thing to say? I'm just so nervous he won't like it, and I want to give him an "out."
I agree, it does sound unnecessary at the moment.
WendiStarr
05-25-2017, 02:46 PM
I'm putting off taking a pregnancy test. I'm going to wait until after I return from vacation.
baer45
05-25-2017, 03:18 PM
I'm putting off taking a pregnancy test. I'm going to wait until after I return from vacation.
That depends on how long is your vacation...
WendiStarr
05-25-2017, 03:26 PM
That depends on how long is your vacation...
I'll be gone for 10 days.
Elektra Luxx
05-26-2017, 11:20 AM
It really pisses me off when you try to be a friend to guy and it bites me in the ass. We've spent time together before in a completely platonic way and he's really nice and we got along really well. I felt good to have someone to share with. I always treated him as just a friend, I had no hidden agenda. He made it clear that he is in a committed relationship and is happy. Great. So he calls and asks if I'm up for company and brings a bottle of something and we drink and talk and laugh. The bottle is almost gone and I'm totally blitzed, but I totally trust him, so no problem. Then that friend makes an move you.
I feel terrible.
miss.a.p1600
05-26-2017, 11:26 AM
^^^just fyi for future reference treat male friends how you would if you were married - never be alone with them one on one especially with alcohol, etc. And never trust them 100%. Because 99% of the time they see being drunk and alone with you as an opportunity to make a move on you and then next day use their intoxication as an excuse to claim they were so drunk and don't remember/deny responsibility for their actions.
I say this from experience
SimoneGray
05-27-2017, 11:09 AM
It really pisses me off when you try to be a friend to guy and it bites me in the ass. We've spent time together before in a completely platonic way and he's really nice and we got along really well. I felt good to have someone to share with. I always treated him as just a friend, I had no hidden agenda. He made it clear that he is in a committed relationship and is happy. Great. So he calls and asks if I'm up for company and brings a bottle of something and we drink and talk and laugh. The bottle is almost gone and I'm totally blitzed, but I totally trust him, so no problem. Then that friend makes an move you.
I feel terrible.
I relate to this on a spiritual level. I HATE when guys do this. I have a friend who for a very long time I didn't trust because he became so passive agressive when I rejected him. Things are better now a few years down the line, but I still notice those hugs that are too long and how he always seems to find little opportunities for physical contact etc. It never gets inappropriate, but it still grinds me so much, because I don't get why we can't just be friends. We have a great friendship as it is, he just can't seem to keep whatever weirdness at bay and its annoying AF. So I feel you girl.
miss.a.p1600
05-27-2017, 05:56 PM
I think I had an emotional affair with this dude who is married. It was brief and completely unintended on my end.
He seems like a good dad and husband. I would totally see him as great beginner sugar daddy material and would do him if he wasn't married.
Last time I saw him at an event. Bertha ball n chainz was there too. She's kind of nice. Or at least pretends to be.
He was standing behind her. I guess she somewhat wears the pants. I tried to ignore him because Bertha and the kids were there. His oldest kid gives me these looks like remember that 90s cartoon Daria? Like that. Lol.
Anyways. I wanTed to ignore him but I didn't want him to think I'm an ice cold beyotch. So I said hi to him.
I will miss fantasizing about him and definitely hope I find a dude like him but slightly richer.
whirlerz
05-27-2017, 07:21 PM
I'm really worried bout my health rn, & trying not to be.. I don't have health insurance bc I was in the middle of a lawsuit when the deadline came up, fearing I'd not have enough to pay that off.
My blood pressure's up, I've been having signs like I could be having mini strokes, which I've already had one so Idk
Aurora_Sunset
05-29-2017, 05:00 PM
My mindset a month ago was literally "I can do ANYTHING! I'ma get jacked and strong and do insane things that women never do! I am powerful and amazing!" Today it is "I am a disgusting piece of shit who will never accomplish anything, and at this point I think my destiny is to somehow turn myself into a 'marrying for the money' wife that makes my appearance do what I want it to by using someone else's money, drinking martinis all day, filling the hole in my soul with material things, and letting my self-hate seep out into shitty passive-aggressiveness toward my rich, douchebag husband. And banging the pool boy of course.
I seriously don't know how to manage my moodswings.
ScarletKitten
05-31-2017, 04:07 PM
Masturbation has ALWAYS been better than sex to me. For the first time in my life, I have finally found someone in which the sex is sooooo much better than going solo. I have been missing out until now!!! I will never fuck anyone else ever again for the rest of my life. This guy is the quintessence of sex. I am so lucky that I found him.