View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
ScarletKitten
06-13-2017, 09:24 PM
^Aurora, you're not alone. If I shared with anyone what really goes through my head while I'm trying to get off, everyone would think I was a demented psychopath.
WendiStarr
06-13-2017, 09:47 PM
I feel like if I didn't have my daughter and joint custody I would pack up and move out of state, change my number, and name and make a new life for the two of us. My ex won't let me take her out of state though. I have a feeling that'll change once his mom finally croaks.
Glamourmilf
06-14-2017, 09:09 AM
Really violent fantasies are the only thing that gets me off lately. Like, super fucked up stuff that I don't think I'd be ok with in real life, or even roleplaying. I mean, I have no desire to act out any of this stuff but it's the only thing that gets me turned on enough to orgasm. It's weird.
^Aurora, you're not alone. If I shared with anyone what really goes through my head while I'm trying to get off, everyone would think I was a demented psychopath.
Same here. In my cam shows, I always start off by asking the guy what his 'go to' thought/ scenario is when he jerks off?
Then I tell them, I'm going to recreate it, or just talk about it, so they can have the BEST orgasm of their life.
I've yet to have anyone say anything off the wall, so that makes me think they are lying. Or not as freaky as me. Lo!!
Most just say a blowjob, or being with a Milf( me).
Blah.:yawn:
Elektra Luxx
06-14-2017, 03:14 PM
Really violent fantasies are the only thing that gets me off lately. Like, super fucked up stuff that I don't think I'd be ok with in real life, or even roleplaying. I mean, I have no desire to act out any of this stuff but it's the only thing that gets me turned on enough to orgasm. It's weird.
^Aurora, you're not alone. If I shared with anyone what really goes through my head while I'm trying to get off, everyone would think I was a demented psychopath.
Same here. In my cam shows, I always start off by asking the guy what his 'go to' thought/ scenario is when he jerks off?
Then I tell them, I'm going to recreate it, or just talk about it, so they can have the BEST orgasm of their life.
I've yet to have anyone say anything off the wall, so that makes me think they are lying. Or not as freaky as me. Lo!!
Most just say a blowjob, or being with a Milf( me).
Blah.:yawn:
This is me also. I don't feel like I could share my fantasies either because they involve so much sexual violence directed toward me and are too violent in reality. I haven't even talked about them in therapy because I'm afraid of her reaction.
chanzep
06-14-2017, 04:01 PM
I did not go to the gym today because I like to go in the daytime and bytime I was free its primetime. I hate being in the small apartment complex gym with my neighbours its annoying, even yesterday I went a hour late and it was busy and I was looking at them like you all have the same day off ! ugh. Im such a bitch I love my space too much.
Elektra Luxx
06-14-2017, 07:23 PM
I did not go to the gym today because I like to go in the daytime and bytime I was free its primetime. I hate being in the small apartment complex gym with my neighbours its annoying, even yesterday I went a hour late and it was busy and I was looking at them like you all have the same day off ! ugh. Im such a bitch I love my space too much.
Multiple "thanks" for this post.
Me Too!!!
SnuffleUffleGrass
06-15-2017, 12:44 PM
So .....I'm going to share a confession because some of us can relate on both side of what happened .....Trigger warning- addiction/family violence
Yesterday a friend of mine who is struggling with alcohol addiction took up my whole day with his problems. He almost ruined my day off of work that had been planned out because I was supposed to celebrate 2 major family events. (My confession is I allowed him to jerk me around all day. I feel like a total idiot.)
During the day he confided in me that part of why he is (basically) trying to kill himself is his dad abused him for years, which only ended when he moved out for University (his dad is a white trash piece of shit so Friend won a scholarship for Uni. to get away from him.)
Side note- Friend is mixing SSRIs & hard liquor, so I honestly think he's damaging his brain. He had a couple major memory lapses while I was talking to him & he looked like walking death. It was hard being around him.
As horrible as he was to deal with, I got over my anger with him & just feel sorrow and compassion today. I didn't expect that. Also....any adult in his family that might help him is either on death's doorstep (age/illness) OR a current or former drug addict.
Knowing him has made me appreciate how good my life was growing up. I didn't have a lot materially or money wise but I had enough love & good role models. I'm not dumb (I realize the point where my friend is blaming his Dad & relatives for their dysfunction is not really relevant for him anymore.) The whole reason there's an issue is my Friend hasn't met the standard in this state to be offered long term inpatient treatment. I have a bad feeling he's going to have to spend some time in jail before he gets a proper evaluation.
TL ; DR But for the Grace Of God go I, and you.
WendiStarr
06-15-2017, 01:14 PM
^ You could go the police route. Call them and tell them that he's suicidal. I had to do that for an ex before who had shown up at my place after we broke up, high on who knows what drug, off his bipolar meds, and talking about how he didn't want to live anymore and was going to kill himself. The police got him and took him to a hospital where he stayed for several months because he was in very bad condition. He looked rough and smelled like he hadn't bathed in weeks. He was pissed off at me for a while after he got out of the hospital but I wasn't going to have that on my conscience, even if he was an ex and had cheated on and used me for a place to stay.
miss.a.p1600
06-15-2017, 01:29 PM
Every time I go to airport I am opening my radar for sugar daddies.
I decide to sit by myself at the gate area hoping a hot rich guy would walk up and sit next to me. Instead what I get is old ass janitors saying hello to me (better be glad I'm not one of those snobs who doesn't speak to the "help" but I'm not interested so a dry fake nice hello is all you get) then I see someone out my peripheral coming my direction and see ........an old ass woman coming to sit next to me.
*sigh*
In my head I'm like unless you're a sugar mommy I want you to move because you are indirectly cock blocking me right now. If you are a sugar mommy I'd consider an arrangement as long as it's discreet and you know I'm not eating any geriatric boxes.
SnuffleUffleGrass
06-15-2017, 04:04 PM
^ You could go the police route. Call them and tell them that he's suicidal. I had to do that for an ex before who had shown up at my place after we broke up, high on who knows what drug, off his bipolar meds, and talking about how he didn't want to live anymore and was going to kill himself. The police got him and took him to a hospital where he stayed for several months because he was in very bad condition. He looked rough and smelled like he hadn't bathed in weeks. He was pissed off at me for a while after he got out of the hospital but I wasn't going to have that on my conscience, even if he was an ex and had cheated on and used me for a place to stay.
I see things headed in that direction.
WendiStarr
06-15-2017, 04:30 PM
Every time I go to airport I am opening my radar for sugar daddies.
I decide to sit by myself at the gate area hoping a hot rich guy would walk up and sit next to me. Instead what I get is old ass janitors saying hello to me (better be glad I'm not one of those snobs who doesn't speak to the "help" but I'm not interested so a dry fake nice hello is all you get) then I see someone out my peripheral coming my direction and see ........an old ass woman coming to sit next to me.
*sigh*
In my head I'm like unless you're a sugar mommy I want you to move because you are indirectly cock blocking me right now. If you are a sugar mommy I'd consider an arrangement as long as it's discreet and you know I'm not eating any geriatric boxes.
:D Girl! You had me cracking up over here about "geriatric boxes". I don't know though. I had an older lady who showed up here to buy shoes from me that she said she was buying for her teenage granddaughter. She looked like Christie Brinkley, except with gray hair. She was in pretty good shape too. That was one good looking granny, lol. Luckily for you I don't think there are many sugar mommies out there so you can be spared of geriatric boxes;D
carmen_b
06-15-2017, 04:44 PM
You need access to the Airport Lounges for good scouting. Sign up with a credit card with access. This is where they are.
Every time I go to airport I am opening my radar for sugar daddies.
I decide to sit by myself at the gate area hoping a hot rich guy would walk up and sit next to me. Instead what I get is old ass janitors saying hello to me (better be glad I'm not one of those snobs who doesn't speak to the "help" but I'm not interested so a dry fake nice hello is all you get) then I see someone out my peripheral coming my direction and see ........an old ass woman coming to sit next to me.
*sigh*
In my head I'm like unless you're a sugar mommy I want you to move because you are indirectly cock blocking me right now. If you are a sugar mommy I'd consider an arrangement as long as it's discreet and you know I'm not eating any geriatric boxes.
baer45
06-15-2017, 09:09 PM
Had a phone interview today. The conversation went way over my head. I was dreaming most of the time, all I heard was solvency, risk appetite, and present value of distributable profit to shareholders... that went well :(
WendiStarr
06-17-2017, 09:02 AM
I had a good orgasm thinking about one of the clients whose house I clean. He's hot, nice, and smells really good . I seen pictures of him and his gorgeous girlfriend. I'm just his maid. I can behave.
miss.a.p1600
06-17-2017, 05:25 PM
548 members online and not a moderator in sight .......
Why do I feel like a teenager ready to throw a party as soon as their parents leave the house lol
seashell
06-18-2017, 04:02 PM
I texted my dad for the first time in months, for Father's Day. He texted back to say I made his day and that he wanted to catch up. Part of me feels bad, but a single text is about all I can handle right now.
whirlerz
06-18-2017, 05:44 PM
There's a teeny tiny lil' bug crawling across my screen
SimoneGray
06-19-2017, 03:19 AM
I think my antidpressants have taken away my sex drive completely...I don't even masturbate anymore, except for on cam. But...I feel mentally better than I have done in years, so they are helping. I suppose sex is a small sacrifice to make for mental stability and general good feeling.
WendiStarr
06-19-2017, 07:24 PM
I broke my diet by eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream tonight. I couldn't resist.
seashell
06-19-2017, 07:45 PM
This is my first time dating a broke guy, and I dunno how to feel about it. On the one hand, *~love~*, but also, he's working 4 part-time jobs and I foresee a financial struggle in our future, when we move. Do I want to be the breadwinner? Am I going to be doing sex work forever to pay for his ass? >_>
All my previous boyfriends made boatloads of money in their sleep. But I kind of like being the one in the power position... you know what I mean? My last boyfriend made a lot of money, didn't expect me to pay for anything, but on the other hand, made all of our life decisions without my input. Hmm...
Elektra Luxx
06-19-2017, 08:44 PM
There's a teeny tiny lil' bug crawling across my screen
I saw a lady bug today. I love lady bugs!!! They're such a pretty bug. The one I saw was like a brownish-orange with black spots.
I think a lady bug theme for my kitchen would be cute.
whirlerz
06-19-2017, 09:15 PM
I bought from Michael's a lady bug thingie, it called a pot percher
baer45
06-19-2017, 09:37 PM
Someone asked me to store this in my gun safe for him. Not illegal stuff and it's only for one night. I have to say, I enjoyed looking at it.
seashell
06-19-2017, 09:45 PM
^ O_O It's... so beautiful...
seashell
06-19-2017, 10:01 PM
One more confession today... one of my customers on Phrendly is fucking hot and sooo my type. Cute, nerdy, lives in an awesome city, makes lots of money. Just did some naughty phone sex, he doesn't know I'm a camgirl (stupid Phrendly) and wants to video chat later this week. I have that "butterflies in my stomach" feeling. Goddamn sex work and its blurry lines. Goddamn broke boyfriend. Arrrrgggghhhh
miss.a.p1600
06-20-2017, 10:04 AM
I am long overdue for some male affection. I want money, romance, and sex. Preferably orgasmic. I want it all.
xStacey
06-20-2017, 03:19 PM
Ok so I really feel the regular I was talking about could be sugar daddy material. He's infatuated with me, comes see me multiple hours per shift and when I work more than one shift he visits multiple times, every week. He tips generously every time, doesn't see other girls (but who knows lol they all say that) and is very loyal. He will refund my shopping trip in Milan when I see him this Thursday and I plan on getting more gifts out of him, still debating if I should go to dinner with him... The problem is he's getting clingy and texts me every single day. Not sure if it's a game I wanna play but he definitely has money and the potential, unlike some rich guys who just wants to see a different girl every time or rotate between different girls... Hmm... At the same time, men are such assholes and I doubt I'll meet prince charming in the near future, maybe my time will be better invested in cultivating a relationship with him than going back into the dating scene. He's married and loves his wife but they have issues I won't write about on here, he's happy with just sensuality so it could be a non-sexual relationship, but he's very emotionally needy.
Please do not hesitate to let me know what you think by PM. I still have to reply to some messages, will do tonight after my last summer final and I'm so sorry for taking so long...
Aurora_Sunset
06-20-2017, 06:07 PM
I don't know if I like or hate weddings. On the one hand, they are always fun, and I have yet to go to a wedding where I didn't think the couple was legitimately good together. On the other hand, I hate to be that person who craps all over love, but they make me sad and angry in a way. They inspire feelings of wanting that, but then I'm super pessimistic about having even a successful LTR, let alone leading to marriage. Like, I think I am legitimately incapable of feeling the self-sacrificing feelings that are expressed at weddings.
Elektra Luxx
06-20-2017, 07:02 PM
^^^
I'm feel that a long term relationship or marriage is not in the future for me and it's all my doing. I'm too hard to live with and get along with. I fly off the handle for the littlest things. I fly off the handle to push back because the relationship is too serious. I really get this physical feeling like I can't breathe or I'm feeling trapped I have to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Because God forbid, I allow someone to get close enough for me to feel a connection to them.
miss.a.p1600
06-20-2017, 07:37 PM
I feel ya.
I thought about something similar yesterday. I'm so picky. I like my alone time and my privacy. I'm not trying to have sex everyday unless the dude is skilled and I prefer monogamy. I hate having to compromise especially on important issues (I'd totally need a dude who believe happy wife happy life and let's me win arguments like 70% of the time). I want a man who has never been married and no kids. Plus rich generous and good looking. Must have same spiritual beliefs and values.
Then I think Is this really possible? Or has my criteria filtered out like 98% of men?
This sounds dorky but remember that show Weird Science where they created the ideal woman from a computer program. Sometimes I think like that would be great to just create what I want vs. trying to find it and come up empty handed.
I also think maybe I have a fear of commitment which is weird because deep down it's what I really want.
seashell
06-21-2017, 01:04 AM
I am also having a hard time with relationship stuff, and not knowing what I want. I used to think I wanted marriage, but now honestly I just want to see what's out there... flirt, date, fall in love, and then get the hell out before things go wrong. I've had too many shitty long-term relationships and also too many amazing short sexy flings. My current boyfriend took forever to want anything serious with me, so I don't really see him as a stable long-term partner, even though now he claims it's what he wants.
The grass always seems greener.
Also, sometimes I forget that the "chemistry" I think I have with a guy is just me being a professional flirt/conversationalist. Most guys suck ass at talking to women, but our smoke and mirrors make everything seem perfect.
charlie61
06-21-2017, 10:40 PM
^Seriously. The ability to make even the most awkward of dating prospects feel comfortable is so easy to mistake for an actual connection / chemistry. Sex workers are social alchemists!!
persianprincess
06-22-2017, 07:18 AM
^^^ totally agree with this.
lilylilylily
06-22-2017, 10:30 AM
Me and this guy I'm chatting with from a dating site are sending each other nudie pics! I probably shouldn't do this but it fun! I figure my face is not in it so why not? It's pretty much the first time I've sent anyone nude photos of me.
Elektra Luxx
06-22-2017, 10:41 AM
Sex workers are social alchemists!!
So true, I love the way you put things.
Aurora_Sunset
06-22-2017, 11:38 AM
I told my new apartment complex that I have a cat (I actually have 2, but I always claim 1 if I think they won't be super hardcore about checking in on me, because I think the entire concept of pet rent is asinine). The leasing agent I kept talking to was saying she would update my deposits to reflect my pet deposit and pet rent, and I even asked for it again the day before I got my keys, and she apparently forgot and just re-sent me the same exact numbers she had before. So at this point, I'm like fuck it. They're not super destructive. This place is huge, so it's not like they'll be keeping tabs on me. If they don't remember that I said I had a pet, then I ain't gonna pay extra for it.
I also never tell places about my snake, because I've been turned away for it before. Like, really? You accept dogs and cats that can claw, bite, and shed all over, but my completely noninvasive, non-dangerous ball python isn't allowed? This place was all "rawr rawr" in the lease about "other animals" including reptiles, fish, and rodents not being allowed without express authorization. Haha no. I'm not paying pet rent on something that lives in a tank.
WendiStarr
06-22-2017, 12:31 PM
I told my new apartment complex that I have a cat (I actually have 2, but I always claim 1 if I think they won't be super hardcore about checking in on me, because I think the entire concept of pet rent is asinine). The leasing agent I kept talking to was saying she would update my deposits to reflect my pet deposit and pet rent, and I even asked for it again the day before I got my keys, and she apparently forgot and just re-sent me the same exact numbers she had before. So at this point, I'm like fuck it. They're not super destructive. This place is huge, so it's not like they'll be keeping tabs on me. If they don't remember that I said I had a pet, then I ain't gonna pay extra for it.
I also never tell places about my snake, because I've been turned away for it before. Like, really? You accept dogs and cats that can claw, bite, and shed all over, but my completely noninvasive, non-dangerous ball python isn't allowed? This place was all "rawr rawr" in the lease about "other animals" including reptiles, fish, and rodents not being allowed without express authorization. Haha no. I'm not paying pet rent on something that lives in a tank.
Yeah, the pet rent thing is annoying. I once had a kitty in an apartment community that charged a one time $250 per pet fee and then an additional $50 a month. I never told them about her. She was quiet and hid under my bed whenever strangers came over so nobody would know that she was there unless I told them that I had a kitty cat. I mean, I can understand if you had some big, destructive wolf-hybrid dog or was one of those animal hoarders(we had this hoarder dude who used to live here who seriously had 25 cats living in his apartment with him). Thanks to him, we now have a 'no pets' policy. I had a 4 year old beta fish living with me here and my landlord tried to make a big deal about it like, "You can't have pets here!" He was a harmless fish living in a tank, for gosh sake. I don't think people should be charged for pets that are living in a tank. It's not like your snake is moving freely about your apartment, tearing up carpet, gnawing on walls, messing up blinds, or pissing and shitting all over the place like a cat or dog could.
My confession today is that I think fb finally lost his power over me. I've not seen him since June 5th and he has ignored any contact that I've attempted to make with him. Guess who just so happened to be at the stop light right by my bank? Yep, him. I heard someone yell, "Hey!", looked, and seen him sitting there in his car. He was smiling at me. For once I didn't feel the butterfly feeling that I've felt for him since last summer. I realize that we were just fb but still, come on! Why was it suddenly ok for him to just ignore me after the whole telling me that he loves me, talking about how he was willing to accept my daughter as his, blah blah blah. Obviously he was just talking out of his ass. I was tempted to flip him the bird but I did not. I just turned around, pretended as though I hadn't seen him, and walked into the bank.
carmen_b
06-22-2017, 02:54 PM
This happened to me too. They never collected the extra deposit for my pup. I don't hide him and no ones cares. This is one of the ( many ) reasons why I love big places with no one constantly looking at what everyone is up to.
I told my new apartment complex that I have a cat (I actually have 2, but I always claim 1 if I think they won't be super hardcore about checking in on me, because I think the entire concept of pet rent is asinine). The leasing agent I kept talking to was saying she would update my deposits to reflect my pet deposit and pet rent, and I even asked for it again the day before I got my keys, and she apparently forgot and just re-sent me the same exact numbers she had before. So at this point, I'm like fuck it. They're not super destructive. This place is huge, so it's not like they'll be keeping tabs on me. If they don't remember that I said I had a pet, then I ain't gonna pay extra for it.
I also never tell places about my snake, because I've been turned away for it before. Like, really? You accept dogs and cats that can claw, bite, and shed all over, but my completely noninvasive, non-dangerous ball python isn't allowed? This place was all "rawr rawr" in the lease about "other animals" including reptiles, fish, and rodents not being allowed without express authorization. Haha no. I'm not paying pet rent on something that lives in a tank.
Elektra Luxx
06-22-2017, 04:30 PM
My boss/ex-bf and I have been working quite a bit and we needed a break. So we got a ice chest of non-alcoholic drinks and spent a couple of hours at the beach. I insisted on non-alcoholic drinks because I do lot of stupid shit when I get drunk and I didn't feel like doing stupid shit with him.
Aurora_Sunset
06-23-2017, 12:20 PM
Yeah, the pet rent thing is annoying. I once had a kitty in an apartment community that charged a one time $250 per pet fee and then an additional $50 a month. I never told them about her. She was quiet and hid under my bed whenever strangers came over so nobody would know that she was there unless I told them that I had a kitty cat.
Right? And my beef against the "pet deposit" and "pet rent" is that it's literally just an excuse for landlords to charge you extra money simply because they can. They do nothing with that extra money except pocket it. Every time I've told a complex that I have a pet, they take that multi-hundred dollar deposit, plus the extra rent every month, the deposit is never refundable, and then, if they have to do anything to fix carpet or spray for fleas after you vacate as a matter of policy, they STILL took it out of my security deposit. What the fuck was that "pet deposit" for then? What about all the money I pay every month toward pet rent?
I mean, if I had another person living there, the rent would be the same. Why is my pet charged extra if they don't put that money toward pet-specific purposes?
BarbieNYC
06-23-2017, 12:54 PM
My hair is getting long again and while I am glad this is happening, I am really gonna miss the convenience of short hair.
I ended up not wearing my extensions to the wedding because my blowout actually looked super amazing.
It's starting to get incredibly hot this summer and not having those heavy extensions in was a life saver. At school and work I see the struggle girls with long hair go through to keep their hair off of their neck. I'm just grateful my hair is still not heavy enough to require 2 clips and complicated updos.
This is gonna be my last summer with shortish hair :( i will miss it dearly and be sure to take lots of pictures, but it's time to be long again. Also my hair never grew in New york but grows like a weed out here in cali. That sun definitely has an impact on hair growth.
xStacey
06-23-2017, 04:29 PM
I'm totally obsessed with Brooke Lordes.
seashell
06-23-2017, 05:24 PM
I'm totally obsessed with Brooke Lordes.
Omg! She is gorgeous!! #goals
whirlerz
06-23-2017, 05:40 PM
Idk her ^
Elektra Luxx
06-23-2017, 06:33 PM
I'm totally obsessed with Brooke Lordes.
Omg! She is gorgeous!! #goals
Idk her ^
WOW!!! She is absolutely stunning! Just looking at her makes my tummy hurt with envy. She's an escort? She looks like a movie star. No joke seashell #goals
Elektra Luxx
06-23-2017, 07:11 PM
I'm really glad to be home. I not liking traveling for work as much as I thought I would. So me and my boss/ex-bf are driving home and I tell him that we have worked well together, but I don't think it's necessary that we work so closely together. I think I blindsided him and hurt his feelings. I don't think he sees me as an independent person. He sees me as someone who needs someone to take care of me. Like I can't take care of myself without his help and I guess I was like that when I was with him. But it's funny because I'm the most independent and confident that maybe I've ever been and a some of it has to do with him because of the responsibilities and training he's sent me on. I told him that I've handled everything thrown at me in the last two weeks without having to get him involved. Lastly I tell him that I need him to trust me or I'm going to find another job. That really sucked the air out of the SUV. He's not always a complete jerkass and I do care for him. I think I really hurt his feelings and I'm sad about that.
snakesandmonkeys
06-23-2017, 07:27 PM
^^dont feel bad. Nothing you said about the situation was anything you should remotely feel bad about. You feel good that yr getting good at your job, and you thanked him for his part in that. If he feels any kinda way about you knowing your own worth and asserting it, fuck him.
xStacey
06-25-2017, 05:40 PM
I wanna try working at the clubs in NYC but I'm not sure I'm hot enough to compete with the girls there lol
Selina M
06-26-2017, 03:15 AM
Sometimes I wonder if I'm borderline sociopathic. I have to like, actively imagine and try to feel empathy for most things. Even stuff I've gone through.
Aurora_Sunset
06-26-2017, 07:02 AM
Sometimes I wonder if I'm borderline sociopathic. I have to like, actively imagine and try to feel empathy for most things. Even stuff I've gone through.
I'm the same way. Sometimes I think maybe it's a revisionist self-defense thing? Like either 1) "I went through that and survived just fine, so why should I feel sorry for you?" or 2) "I went through that and I don't remember it being THAT bad, so stop your whining" or some combination of them. Even though, if I actually sit down and think about it, I KNOW something super sucked for me at the time. When I move past it, I tend not to think about how bad it was anymore. So then I lose my frame of reference for feeling bad for others, because I'm blocking out how bad it was for me. Maybe?