View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
Elektra Luxx
11-18-2017, 10:27 PM
Sometimes I have no self control.....smh
Sheesh!!! Join the club, I take meds for that. Lol!!!
SuccubusSasha
11-19-2017, 07:32 PM
I don't like most men...
LoveyDovey
11-19-2017, 07:50 PM
I confess that my hoo hoo is happy but sore from all the lovemaking festivities today with my beloved boyfriend...
Elektra Luxx
11-20-2017, 12:01 AM
The bf and I watched the movie Annabelle Creation this afternoon. Bad idea. It was the scariest movie I've ever seen and now I can't sleep. Bf is next to me because I will not let him go home. At least for a week or two. I made him stop what he was doing every time I had go to the bathroom so he could go with me. And told him not to play scare me because I will get hysterical. That movie really messed me up. I have to pee right now, but I don't want to wake him, but really have to pee. I'm trying not to think about it, but the more I don't think about it, the more I think about how I have to pee. All the lights are on too.
Aurora_Sunset
11-20-2017, 08:33 AM
My remaining cat is so lonely and anxious lately that it honestly makes me anxious. Like, she follows me constantly from room to room, and freaks out at me when I return home from being gone. I can't even sleep properly in the early hours of the morning because if I shift at all, she's immediately in my face, licking my nose for attention. Like, I want to cuddle with her and stuff but she is so high-strung, it's honestly getting on my nerves. But then I feel bad for being annoyed, because I know she's stressed and has pent-up energy from being lonely and having no one else but me around anymore. That's not her fault, and I know this is hard on her too. I don't know what to do for her. I feel like she needs to go on anxiety medication. I might take her to the vet if she doesn't readjust soon.
miss.a.p1600
11-20-2017, 08:37 AM
I don't like most men...
I know right! I'd say 70% of them look good on the outside. Then when you get to know them - that leaves 30% of them are decent. Then REALLY get to know them (maturity, responsible, providers, respect women, good lovers, etc) that leaves 3% of them.
seashell
11-20-2017, 10:18 AM
My remaining cat is so lonely and anxious lately that it honestly makes me anxious. Like, she follows me constantly from room to room, and freaks out at me when I return home from being gone. I can't even sleep properly in the early hours of the morning because if I shift at all, she's immediately in my face, licking my nose for attention. Like, I want to cuddle with her and stuff but she is so high-strung, it's honestly getting on my nerves. But then I feel bad for being annoyed, because I know she's stressed and has pent-up energy from being lonely and having no one else but me around anymore. That's not her fault, and I know this is hard on her too. I don't know what to do for her. I feel like she needs to go on anxiety medication. I might take her to the vet if she doesn't readjust soon.
My cat gets really anxious sometimes, as well (whenever a big "change" happens, like a new roommate or new cat). There are a lot of ways to help cats stay calm without meds, though. Does she have enough toys? A cat tower/tall area she can climb on? Does she get fed on a regular schedule? You can also try to feed her and play with her on a regular basis before night time, so that she gets tired out and sleeps easier at night. :)
JessaJade
11-20-2017, 03:12 PM
I don't like most men...
Same, except I don't like most women either. Haha.
baer45
11-20-2017, 04:24 PM
I know right! I'd say 70% of them look good on the outside. Then when you get to know them - that leaves 30% of them are decent. Then REALLY get to know them (maturity, responsible, providers, respect women, good lovers, etc) that leaves 3% of them.
I thought we all shall begin our hunt at 1% first. No?
seashell
11-21-2017, 03:45 AM
I think I'm going back to the US in January. It was nice to spend some time in Czech Republic, and I really love it here for practical reasons (it's affordable, there's cheap healthcare, the public transportation is great), but I miss some things from home... and life has been harder here than I imagined. Being an immigrant is extremely challenging in every aspect of life.
I'm kind of ready to go back. I proved to myself that I could leave vanilla work, leave the strip club, and cam full-time. My life has improved. I now have a pretty solid relationship with my boyfriend, and we got to explore Europe together. A lot has changed in the last few months, from a pretty dark time in my life, to a brighter future... but I need some stability. I need a place I can call home, where I can paint the walls and have a pet and not live out of a suitcase.
miss.a.p1600
11-21-2017, 09:12 PM
^^^Lol! Sounds like weed in a pill?
I confess. I don't know if I should continue with this dude. For the most part he is good to me emotionally. But *sigh* For the life of me I can't yet figure out if he would make the type of husband I am looking for.
fml!!!!!
miss.a.p1600
11-21-2017, 09:22 PM
^^^Oh. I sure was like - is she over there getting high?!? lol
BTW Not all strains of weed get you high. Medicinal marijuanna with very low THC is used to treat many ailments without getting "stoned" https://www.wired.com/2012/07/marijuana-high-arthritis/ But I suppose you may already know this.
trustfundkiller
11-21-2017, 10:09 PM
I hate the holidays, particularly New Years. It gives me so much anxiety and logically I know it shouldn't, a new year is really just another day. I've felt this way since I was a child. The holidays are just so much unnecessary stress.
seashell
11-22-2017, 02:06 AM
I hate the holidays, particularly New Years. It gives me so much anxiety and logically I know it shouldn't, a new year is really just another day. I've felt this way since I was a child. The holidays are just so much unnecessary stress.
I used to feel this way, until I changed the people I spent time with on holidays. Most of my anxiety was coming from certain family members. I love the idea of a family getting together to celebrate a holiday, in theory, but... I'd rather see them in a low-stress setting any other day of the year.
Elektra Luxx
11-22-2017, 02:52 AM
I really need to make the time to see a dermatologist. I've have some dry skin issues happening. I've got patches of dry skin on my back and shoulders, the inside of my ears itch like crazy, my scalp itches and I have dandruff on my right eyebrow only. WTF?!!
Cutie101
11-22-2017, 11:51 AM
When your sat on your couch chilling with Lifetime movie and the house is a mess. Oh well I been running around all day now I work vanilla hours I have to do shit on the weekend. Oh I also got myself a Christmas candle today even though its hot here still too. smells great!.
Amen. Actually it iritates me, when the house is messy. I can't even relax lol. I keep looking at the dust on the furniture, un-ironed clothes, shoes prints on the entrance hall tiles, but in the same time, I can't leave the damn console controller down :))))).
Cutie101
11-22-2017, 11:53 AM
For 2018 I won't make anymore, any plans. I will just work hard and achieve whatever that brings. I got tired of bucket lists that, most of the time, are a big BS>
trustfundkiller
11-22-2017, 02:57 PM
I used to feel this way, until I changed the people I spent time with on holidays. Most of my anxiety was coming from certain family members. I love the idea of a family getting together to celebrate a holiday, in theory, but... I'd rather see them in a low-stress setting any other day of the year.
That's how I feel! I enjoy spending time with my family and making memories in low-stress settings but the holidays add so much pressure to make the day *special* and it usually ends up being a disappointment. NYE forces me to put my life under a magnifying scope and analyze everything, so it stresses me out for that reason - lol. I think once I have children and I can do all of the usual holiday traditions/festivities with them I might enjoy it more because of the vicarious excitement.
BadBitch
11-22-2017, 09:06 PM
I feel so fucking worthless. No one stays in my chatroom. I can't take it anymore.
trustfundkiller
11-22-2017, 11:03 PM
I can't for the life of me figure out how to edit my "mood" right under my profile pic and thanks/thanked numbers. I see when I go to settings > edit profile, there's a mood option under "occupation" but I don't have many choices and even when I select one of those, it doesn't show up when I post.
SimoneGray
11-23-2017, 11:38 AM
For 2018 I won't make anymore, any plans. I will just work hard and achieve whatever that brings. I got tired of bucket lists that, most of the time, are a big BS>
This. I have messed myself up so badly trying to make these lists, and then feeling like a complete failure when I don't tick something on the list off. So now, it is what it is, and I'm going to just have to go with it and work hard, and trust that everything will be ok.
Cutie101
11-23-2017, 12:10 PM
I feel so fucking worthless. No one stays in my chatroom. I can't take it anymore.
Lol. Do your manicure :))). Theese days camming was super slow for me and I was grateful for the quiet hours, because i could have a beautiful manicure, done my nails beautifully, etc :))))).
Of course, I was keeping my camon face and breats, they couldn't see what i was doing. And I was always with an eye on cam and checking my face. I was painting a nail, head up fast, smile, back to the next nail :)))))))).
Cutie101
11-23-2017, 12:11 PM
This. I have messed myself up so badly trying to make these lists, and then feeling like a complete failure when I don't tick something on the list off. So now, it is what it is, and I'm going to just have to go with it and work hard, and trust that everything will be ok.
I noticed that is a tredn with " No bucket list in 2018". Everyone got tired of that :)))). You are so right. No plans, just hard work. At the end of the year I will look back and see what I achieve. I have a feeling that I achieved more than if I planned it lol. And yes, I feel worthless too, when I don't check my stuff on the list. Fuck that.
Elle:)
11-23-2017, 04:45 PM
I am so not a holiday person.
blondhottie
11-24-2017, 07:34 AM
I get butthurt when someone unfriends me on Facebook or unfollows me on Twitter.
miss.a.p1600
11-24-2017, 10:48 AM
I want to have sexual intimacy with orgasmic pleasure. I wish I could be like those ladies who auction off their virginity to the highest bidder lol - I'd auction my celibacy to the highest spender hahaha
Definitely going to make him work for it. LOL
Elektra Luxx
11-24-2017, 12:18 PM
I got vounteered into taking care of my one year old niece. Wow! I crazy love her, but she is a handful. I need a break, but Mom doesn't get off work until 5. Several more hours to go. Going to get bf involved. Next he wants no condom sex I'm going to punch him.
aliwonderland
11-24-2017, 12:45 PM
I feel so aimless all the time. Like too tired to commit to doing much of anything, but then annoyed with myself for not trying harder to improve myself or take on projects.
At least I recently got my best vanilla job back, so I'll have a tiny bit of structure back in my life.
WendiStarr
11-24-2017, 02:08 PM
I ate too much food. Also, I want it to be Monday so I can be back to work and my daughter goes back to school. love my daughter and spending time with her but mama needs to make $! I paid rent, groceries, and did some Christmas shopping, spent like $800 total this week. Yikes! Period week is this upcoming week too, the week that I hate escorting but I'm gonna have to.
miss.a.p1600
11-24-2017, 11:16 PM
^i was telling this dude like to make Black Friday count (get good deal on stuff you really need + last you at least till after New Years or so) then you need to be willing to spend at least $500-$600. He act like I was speaking some foreign language.
And he is Just now asking what I want for Christmas.
Like dude if you were wise you would have asked 2 weeks ago and bought some shit cheap on BF.
I basically was like I want gift card/money.
He better not come empty handed or with no bullshit or it will be over.
BadBitch
11-26-2017, 09:22 PM
I'm having the worst anxiety about working tomorrow.
BadBitch
11-26-2017, 09:23 PM
I get butthurt when someone unfriends me on Facebook or unfollows me on Twitter.
Same!
LoveyDovey
11-27-2017, 01:53 AM
Maybe I'm just PMSing, but I am so over life. Frustrated. Can I just not live for a while?
seashell
11-27-2017, 02:26 AM
I went to a late Thanksgiving dinner yesterday with some friends, and it reminded me how much I miss hanging out with them. I’ve been way too focused on work lately. It would be sooo nice to go out more.
charlie61
11-28-2017, 01:56 PM
I really need to chill out on online spending, haha. I can afford it, and I'm loving the stuff i buy, but... it's time to give it a bit of a rest!
whirlerz
11-29-2017, 04:34 PM
I'm in the library, but I'm eyef*king the young guys around?
Shame on me
seashell
11-29-2017, 04:49 PM
I applied for an online teaching position, but I kinda half-assed the interview. Still, I'm really highly qualified... OVER-qualified for that job... but they rejected me. They said I did everything right, but I wasn't enthusiastic enough. I was kinda shocked, but really, my heart wasn't in it. And I always feel very down on myself when I apply for vanilla jobs, because of internalized shame from sex work.
Oh well. In a way, I'm glad it didn't work out. I felt pretty upset at first, but it wouldn't pay very well, and it would take time away from camming. I just wish the vanilla world would work out for me.
DonaDiabla
11-29-2017, 06:23 PM
Personally, I am over psychic dispatch companies and need do start up my direct-dial lines for that as well. They act way more shady than pso companies. Some of the companies such as livelinks actually want you to talk to with serious emotional problems like you are therapist. WTF! Anyways, I am starting that next year. Wish me luck :)
Aurora_Sunset
11-29-2017, 06:57 PM
My cat's ashes were delivered today and I have a "huggable urn" teddy bear that I customized and stuck the bag of ashes into. So I'm cuddling with that tonight.
carmen_b
11-29-2017, 07:16 PM
I wonder if this online teaching place that many of my friends are signing up for. It's one that seems to be growing and growing. I actually was interested but getting going is SUCH a process that I just gave up.
I applied for an online teaching position, but I kinda half-assed the interview. Still, I'm really highly qualified... OVER-qualified for that job... but they rejected me. They said I did everything right, but I wasn't enthusiastic enough. I was kinda shocked, but really, my heart wasn't in it. And I always feel very down on myself when I apply for vanilla jobs, because of internalized shame from sex work.
Oh well. In a way, I'm glad it didn't work out. I felt pretty upset at first, but it wouldn't pay very well, and it would take time away from camming. I just wish the vanilla world would work out for me.
carmen_b
11-29-2017, 07:21 PM
I too went to a vanilla interview today. It was " meh " . I have had such a hard time closing lately in my small business that I am just HATING every moment. I found this little shop next to my house looking for a server and went. I have tons of catering ( including the sales side of it ) experience so I thought they would just NAB me immediately but the owner seemed a little wishy washy.
That's the thing about adult work that makes it so hard to transition ! It is STILL weird to me so to go somewhere and not start earning something RIGHT AWAY.
Part Two:
It's becoming a very clear reality that I am hating the business I own. I turned my advertising off since I'm just so exhausted from the process of people inquiring and then camping out on the contract without booking. I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to do, but I will probably take a small break and then make the transition of running it only part time again.
lynn2009
11-29-2017, 08:06 PM
My cat's ashes were delivered today and I have a "huggable urn" teddy bear that I customized and stuck the bag of ashes into. So I'm cuddling with that tonight.
Derek's parents gave me some of his ashes, and I spent 200 on a full size regular urn but I did not know this was a thing.....
Aurora_Sunset
11-30-2017, 07:05 AM
Derek's parents gave me some of his ashes, and I spent 200 on a full size regular urn but I did not know this was a thing.....
I used a site called perfectmemorials.com. I think I only found the teddy bears specifically under "pet urns" but I don't see why they wouldn't be big enough to hold some of a person's ashes as well, and I see some reviews of people talking about putting some of their parent's ashes in one.
LaurenAus
11-30-2017, 10:06 AM
I wonder if this online teaching place that many of my friends are signing up for. It's one that seems to be growing and growing. I actually was interested but getting going is SUCH a process that I just gave up.
Teaching English company?
seashell
11-30-2017, 02:39 PM
Teaching English company?
There are a few! I applied for a small-ish company, but since they rejected me, I think I might go ahead and apply for the most well-known one. Still not sure what to do. It's an online English school for kids in China.
For anyone interested, this site has a lot of English teaching opportunities: www.eslcafe.com (try looking for online postings on the International Job Board)
Of course, working there means I'd have to tone down my camming presence. We shall see.
lynn2009
11-30-2017, 04:15 PM
I think I'm actually going to fail my class this semester. I left half the midterm blank, I have a presentation I have to do in a few minutes I just finished this morning and didn't even practice speaking through once. If I pass at all I'll be relieved.
edit: I didn't fail the midterm, I got a 70, holy shit I never thought I'd be so relieved to get a C. If I get a C in the class overall I can still get partial reimbursement from my employer.
baer45
11-30-2017, 06:48 PM
Get laid, get paid, no complains.
Elektra Luxx
12-01-2017, 03:21 AM
Get laid, get paid, no complains.
When you put in that way, I almost miss it.
Aurora_Sunset
12-02-2017, 02:16 PM
I miss one of my escort clients...
He lives on the other side of the country, and usually is just out here once a month or so to oversee employees here. I really enjoy his company. Not even in a romantic way, like I have a crush on him or something. He's just this genuinely fun and really nice person to hang out with. He always books 3 hours, usually ends up going over, and running down to the ATM for more cash; has 2-3 bottles of my favorite wines on hand; tips me in a $100 Amazon gift cards; last time, he bought like 5 different types of chocolate bars for me to choose to snack on and then take home with me. We usually spend 90% of the appointment just talking and having fun about silly stuff, and then maybe 10-15 minutes having sex, and he's super easy and cums quickly. He is the easiest, and most fun, client I have that I know I'll make a ton of money off of.
It's only been a month since he was last here, so it's not like it's been some crazy amount of time. But I find myself anxiously counting the weeks and trying to guess when he'll be back next, and hoping to hear from him.
xStacey
12-03-2017, 06:51 PM
When you're about to graduate from college, but cannot stop thinking about sex work and really miss it...