View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
WendiStarr
03-07-2019, 02:36 PM
I'm disappointed that Clomid failed. I start round 2 in a few days and I'm having difficulty staying optimistic.
queenelayliah
03-07-2019, 02:51 PM
Im having really bad buyers remorse. I spent $107 at payless and now i dont have money for food. And most of the shoes i brought im just like “where the fuck am i going to wear these? I dont even leave the house!”. And i cant return them becuase they closing everything is final sale.
miss.a.p1600
03-07-2019, 09:00 PM
The young dude is really trying to seduce me and it’s kind of working.
He was saying that he would rub my feet cause he knew I’d been walking/standing all day.
Omg. Self: Must have willpower!
carmen_b
03-07-2019, 10:49 PM
^ Willpower for WHAT ? Invite him over ! Ha.
Aurora_Sunset
03-08-2019, 09:49 AM
My fiance's new lawyer is this hella fine black man that just oozes that badass attorney power. I like that he likes me to come to appointments and be on speaker phone when he has to discuss something with him lol
Selina M
03-09-2019, 05:42 PM
My friend's new boyfriend gives me very, very bad vibes. At first I was just suspicious he was gay & using her as a front, but after meeting him I get the feeling he's hiding something worse.
They met online and moved in together after like a month of dating, and he booked them an expensive cruise for months in advance, all of which I found odd.
He came over last night and skeeved everyone out hardcore. He made a gay joke toward my SO within 2 minutes of being in the house and didn't stop the entire night with gay/masturbation jokes. So much creepy prolonged eye contact (the staredown thing where they want you to break it first) - I thought it was just me but my other girl friend said he did the same to her. She didn't want to look in his direction anymore. He was downright rude to me at one point. When people stopped laughing at his jokes, I could see the interest in being there fade and within 5 minutes he had convinced her they needed to leave.
I already tried once to gently suggest that he might not be straight (before I met him and got "I'm going to make a lamp out of your skin" vibes) and she gave me some bs about "He was bullied as a kid so he acts gay to keep girls from hitting on him"... Yet he was on Bumble looking for a girlfriend? What? She refused to elaborate, saying it was 'a long story'.
I can't say shit to her, nobody's going to take kindly to "Hey everyone thinks your friend has a young boy in his basement". But I am worried about it.
Jalena
03-09-2019, 06:07 PM
I finally heard back from the job whose exam I sat for a few weeks ago, and they are going to schedule me for the next phase of the interview process. Excellent! ... except for that I can't really do much in the meantime. It's irritating me because I have still been wanting to check out the other club that's about 30min from me, and be making -something- while I wait for the hiring process to advance. My debts are certainly not going to pay back themselves. But it's too close to home to make that happen without getting caught. I would have to go to Orlando at least, if not Tampa or Jacksonville for the weekend.
It's such utter horseshit that dancing + PD employment = conflict interest ... but they have no problem with their employees being club customers. To me, that's the greater conflict of interest.
Aurora_Sunset
03-09-2019, 09:05 PM
I know it's not her fault, but I get annoyed when my fiance's daughter throws her nightly "I wanna go home/I want mommy" fit almost every night she stays with us. The 7-year-old is pretty much already wise to mommy's narcissistic BS and prefers being with us. But the almost-4 year old JUST got weaned off breast milk the day before her first weekend staying with us. So of course it's a rough transition for her at night time, when she's tired/cranky, and just wants to be in her normal environment.
I think it just makes me angry because I hate their mom so much. Bitch uses her kids more as a weapon to punish their father more of the time than she actually gives a crap about creating a stable post-divorce environment for them. And her new thing the last month is letting her brand-new fiance, who has been in the kids' lives for 2 whole months, act as a super authoritarian figure about shit he has no business butting into as a brand new almost-stepparent just yet (even according to the family therapist, let alone common sense -_- ). She is just an awful, selfish, snobby, POS, and my mental reaction to the little girl crying for mommy is "your mommy literally doesn't give a damn that you're upset tonight cuz her only goal is having you out of the house as much as possible. She doesn't even take care of you when you're there - she outsources EVERYTHING to her parents." Of course, I can't say that.... And I would never say anything to, or in front of, either of the kids that denigrates their mother... because I'm NOT the manipulative cunt-bag she is... But it sucks to see the blind loyalty from children toward a narcissistic bi-atch, and just have to wait it out until they're older and able to see through her crap. Even then, they won't be able to denounce her entirely... like... I've seen it enough from plenty of people in my life whose parents were dysfunctional bags of shit.
Ugh barf
trustfundkiller
03-09-2019, 11:23 PM
I feel so guilty for taking off work tonight, on a Saturday of all nights. My body has been so sore and I feel mentally drained from dealing with all the creeps in the club, especially after a really traumatic experience I had at work on Thursday. I'm going to work tomorrow and Monday to make up for it, but I still feel bad. I can't even bring myself to cam. I just want total relaxation. Tonight is a much needed mental health break but I can't help but wonder how much money I might be missing out on. I always get this way when I'm in "work mode" ...I torture myself on my nights off. I don't know why I have this unhealthy correlation with rest = being lazy and weak-minded.
LoveyDovey
03-10-2019, 12:02 AM
So in my 14 years of dancing I have never seen a girl sell a dance to 2 guys at once. Well tonight I did! Each dude paid and I gave a dance to 2 dudes simultaneously. They were so nice and now this is all making me want to do it for real except with 2 hot guys from my past. I've never had a 3 way and God with these 2 dudes it would be really hot. And fun. Fuck.
LoveyDovey
03-10-2019, 12:10 AM
Being a stepmom is undoubtedly the most chsllenging job. I was in your shoes once, only I didn't get engsged/marry the dude. Stay strong, the kids will wise up.
Ifyouseekamy
03-10-2019, 05:49 AM
So in my 14 years of dancing I have never seen a girl sell a dance to 2 guys at once. Well tonight I did! Each dude paid and I gave a dance to 2 dudes simultaneously. They were so nice and now this is all making me want to do it for real except with 2 hot guys from my past. I've never had a 3 way and God with these 2 dudes it would be really hot. And fun. Fuck.
Oh gosh my club won’t let us. I tried once and got in trouble. Yummy 2 guys! Yes please.
miss.a.p1600
03-11-2019, 06:57 AM
The young dude asked me “what do I want/expect from him” and “where do I expect things to go”
Why was I tongue tied because this question caught me off guard and why did a portion of my mind default to sex?
This question made me think that Even thought I want a baby, a husband, a marriage that will last I also am freaked out about the thought of having some dude know my vulnerabilities and insecurities and flaws. A part of me thrives on being mysterious, not having to answer to anyone, doing what I want to do when I want. I don’t know if I can coexist with someone after such a long ass time being single and celibate and somewhat enjoying it.
queenelayliah
03-11-2019, 09:03 AM
My mom is threatening to kick my dad, her now ex husband and my 19 year sister out the house. Yes it her biological daughter. Im so stressted thinking about this. Im worried for my dad but think he can handle he’s an adult and working two jobs. But my sister she only been out of high school for a year, works part time but she doesnt have an adult mentality yet. She’s not mentally ready to leave the house.
When i was 19 i was beyond mentally ready to go and left to go to school two hours away., i only had to come home doing school breaks and by the age of 21 had my own apartment and paying ALL of my bills. Im soo worried of course she has a place at my apartment but im worried becuase she has a dog and i have a cat. Plus shes taking a break from community college so she’s just working part time. Im so stress i need more money if im going to take care of her. How will i still take calls and cam feom home if shes here? Its a 1bd/1ba apartment and the bathroom is in my room., so she would need to enter. But im more considered about her mental health she really really likes our mother and if she does get kicked out it will devastate her.
carmen_b
03-11-2019, 03:34 PM
Trying to turn my casual desert lover into a boyfriend over this last week was a ( most likely ) failed effort.
I'm sure all my friends would have advised against it if I had told anyone what I was doing.
I feel SAD today but also getting into residual sadness about the 7 year ex thing ( I have lingering sadness and anger about being left 6 months ago ), then my 5 week Ginger Jan./Febuary thing, then Mr Tall from the desert .
I feel like I'm a mess and feel so off. I thought I was going to be so sexually satisfied over the last 6 days from this work trip ........ he was here 90 minutes , yippee .
I want to call my mom and cry but what will I say ? I'm upset that this dude I invited to my hotel to lick my pussy doesn't love me after three weeks? Ugh !!!
JGB2009
03-12-2019, 09:45 AM
With some people love is a losing game!!!!!
charlie61
03-12-2019, 10:04 AM
I've never tried that line I might have to check it out, I'm always looking for skin care that my skin can actually handle. I've managed to get my skin somewhat back to normal now, I hope yours is doing alright too!
After an initial panic reaction involving different direct acid treatments ::) where I can't really tell what worked and what didn't, I went back to the complete basics using mild cleanser (cetaphil gentle cleanser) and very simple moisturisers like squalane serums daytime and pure rose hip seed oil night time. Maybe a bit too much oil because my skin is still not perfect, but it's SO much better than it was.
On topic: Confessing I feel like this whole breaking out thing affected me way too much, it feels slightly superficial, but really, when you get severe skin problems like that it both physically hurts and messes with your self esteem in a big way. It makes a bad day worse, because if I look good on a bad day I can think "Well at least I look good", I can go out feeling somewhat normal, when you don't even have that it makes it even harder.
Lol, i was just coming to this thread to rant about skin!
It feels like my life revolves around my skin. If I'm having a great skin day, then i feel great! If my skin is struggling, then i feel like hiding in a dark closet all day. When i was younger, i had terrible skin, since i picked at it and didn't know how to take care of it. So, even today, my skin's condition significantly affects my mental health.
I get so frustrated when i take great care of myself 99% of the time, and then little imperfections in my diet lead to breakouts. The more refined my diet and exercise schedule are, the better my skin looks, but the more sensitive it gets to any "cheating". Like, last week, i ate a sugar-free 85% cacao chocolate bar, and i suspect that's why I'm having a terrible breakout now. I guess i have to add cacao to my list of things that break me out. Ugh! And it's not like i even know for sure why I'm breaking out. I just have to guess and hope I'm right.
indiegirl
03-12-2019, 10:19 AM
I am starting to truly dislike every day of having roommates. My 1st time ever having them besides my brother in the past. I miss being loud or obnoxious laughing at all random hours and they have become a burden on my life with their odd schedules and now no longer being able to work from home. I feel like I've married 2 females having to be considerate of them in my house LOLLLLLL. Plus cleaning daily. TMI!!! lol
trustfundkiller
03-12-2019, 04:49 PM
This one is pretty scandalous but I can't say it to anyone else: I'm fucking the sexy bartender at my club. :D
WendiStarr
03-13-2019, 08:11 PM
I had the strong urge to have sex with a new platonic cuddle client. I had no idea what he looked like, not that I care anyways, but when I read "white male age 51", I figured he'd be some old, out of shape white guy. This guy was very tall, in great shape, and looked more like 35 than 51. He had the nicest blue eyes I've ever seen and I don't normally feel attracted to blondes but..wtf?! He had on a wedding ring and said that he wanted to do platonic cuddling so that he wouldn't cheat on his wife. Then he was talking about how his wife went through menopause and doesn't want sex anymore because she has a hard time getting wet and asked me what he could do to get her wet. 0_0 He said that he'd cuddled with other women before platonically but was having a hard time with me because I'm pretty(according to him). Ugh. Universe, why must you continually throw sexy men who are unavailable to tempt me with? I behaved myself but damn, I would be lying if I said that I would've stopped him if he would've asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. With that said, I should not see him again. It's not my intention to turn platonic cuddle clients into escort clients. I like to have my platonic clients stay platonic clients.
queenelayliah
03-13-2019, 09:00 PM
Super confession:
I don't do sex work to get rich (it would be nice but it's not my goal). when I get my check I'm super happy to just have the ability able to pay my bills while working from home. I see many girls post on here saying they would quit if they only made minimum wage or if they earn the same $ if they were working a vanilla job. I'm just like damn not me. I guess it also has to do with the fact I can't hold down a vanilla job because of my emotional and physical health problems. My anxiety and depression just get the best of me causing me to quit or get fired from all jobs i had since graduation in 2015.
I wish I could be like the other girls on this site and have the option of quitting if they not making fabulous money. But nope not me, as the saying goes beggars can't be choosers.
Is there anybody else who wouldn't change their job in this field no matter what. (well obviously as long as you can pay your bills. I mean no matter if you are making minimum wage or whatever?
charlie61
03-13-2019, 09:53 PM
I confess that I'm thinking about Elektra Luxx, and I'm hoping that her test results come back with good news. ♡
GirlWithAPlan
03-14-2019, 04:09 AM
I confess, some guys on cam get me off and I don't fake every orgasm.
Aurora_Sunset
03-14-2019, 04:30 PM
Super confession:
I don't do sex work to get rich (it would be nice but it's not my goal). when I get my check I'm super happy to just have the ability able to pay my bills while working from home. I see many girls post on here saying they would quit if they only made minimum wage or if they earn the same $ if they were working a vanilla job. I'm just like damn not me. I guess it also has to do with the fact I can't hold down a vanilla job because of my emotional and physical health problems. My anxiety and depression just get the best of me causing me to quit or get fired from all jobs i had since graduation in 2015.
I wish I could be like the other girls on this site and have the option of quitting if they not making fabulous money. But nope not me, as the saying goes beggars can't be choosers.
Is there anybody else who wouldn't change their job in this field no matter what. (well obviously as long as you can pay your bills. I mean no matter if you are making minimum wage or whatever?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing sex work just as a means to an end, even if you're making the same as you would working a minimum wage vanilla job. I've found there are actually A LOT of sex workers who do the work simply because of things like chronic health problems or even mental health issues, and it's the only thing they can make any sort of living at with no/flexible scheduling around their restrictions. Even the girls who "make bank" usually end up burning out and only working just enough to cover basic bills anyway. Don't let anyone tell you you're "doing it wrong" or "stupid" for working in the industry just because you don't make tens of thousands every month. If it works for you, go for it.
baer45
03-14-2019, 09:05 PM
I confess that I'm thinking about Elektra Luxx, and I'm hoping that her test results come back with good news. ♡
3/20, we will hear the result. Fingers crossed.
baer45
03-14-2019, 09:12 PM
I am bored with life right now. Nothing exciting is going on in my life.
Elektra Luxx
03-14-2019, 09:15 PM
I confess that I'm thinking about Elektra Luxx, and I'm hoping that her test results come back with good news. ♡
3/20, we will hear the result. Fingers crossed.
Well, 3/20 is the procedure and then however long it takes to find out if it's cancer or not. I had an appointment with my PA yesterday to adjust my meds. We talked about my up coming procedure. She said the tumor like more like a thickening of my bladder wall than a tumor. She also said that my lymph nodes aren't enlarged. She said other things I can't remember, but I came away less worried. Of course she can't really say anything until a biopsy is done, but I feel like I might be okay. I'm still scared though. Thank you both for your posts.
WendiStarr
03-15-2019, 06:21 AM
I ended up seeing the hot older guy again yesterday. He wanted to cuddle again before he went back to FL. We were cuddling and I felt him get hard. He started dry humping me. I thought we were gonna have sex. He asked if he could touch "her"(my pussy). I let him rub me and make me cum. He wouldn't let me play with him other than put my hand in his boxers and grab it because he felt like somehow, that would make it less like cheating if we weren't naked. He sent a text later that he'd be jacking off thinking about this until we see each other again in a few months when he comes back in town for work.
Elektra Luxx
03-15-2019, 12:54 PM
I am bored with life right now. Nothing exciting is going on in my life.
You're a smart, beautiful sex worker. Our lives are all about partying with rich, attractive people and traveling to beautiful, exotic locations. How can you be bored? Excuse me. I can't write anymore because the tray with the caviar and champagne is coming and my glass is almost empty.
BTW, I've never tried caviar. Caviar is suppose to be an acquired taste, which means it tastes terrible and you get used to the terrible taste. So pass!
carmen_b
03-15-2019, 01:58 PM
^ I feel the same way about it. The last thing I need is a taste for ( other ) expensive food. My food adventures are crazy already.
Baer : Sorry you are bored. I feel the same. I have been on the road most of the last few weeks and now I'm home and feel lost.
baer45
03-15-2019, 03:16 PM
You're a smart, beautiful sex worker. Our lives are all about partying with rich, attractive people and traveling to beautiful, exotic locations. How can you be bored? Excuse me. I can't write anymore because the tray with the caviar and champagne is coming and my glass is almost empty.
BTW, I've never tried caviar. Caviar is suppose to be an acquired taste, which means it tastes terrible and you get used to the terrible taste. So pass!
I don't like champagne, the sour taste is not my thing. I like red wine or sparkling water.
I had caviar at least 5 times before, i still can't tell you what it tasted like. Hence, it's not worthy. I am better off with other food.
And i havent done many fun things you mentioned above lately. Where is the vacation package?
baer45
03-15-2019, 03:47 PM
^ I feel the same way about it. The last thing I need is a taste for ( other ) expensive food. My food adventures are crazy already.
Baer : Sorry you are bored. I feel the same. I have been on the road most of the last few weeks and now I'm home and feel lost.
I know that feeling. I bet we all feel that way, life is not progressing.
Elektra Luxx
03-15-2019, 03:48 PM
^^^
It looks so pretty! I heard caviar tastes like fish which makes sense because they're fish eggs I guess.
I like champagne, but I wouldn't know the good stuff from the bad.
Vacation package? We could go on a cruise. We'd sun ourselves and drink margaritas all day. Then have great dinner and gamble a little. I never gamble with my money, only with my life.
Elle:)
03-15-2019, 06:25 PM
^^^
It looks so pretty! I heard caviar tastes like fish which makes sense because they're fish eggs I guess.
I like champagne, but I wouldn't know the good stuff from the bad.
Vacation package? We could go on a cruise. We'd sun ourselves and drink margaritas all day. Then have great dinner and gamble a little. I never gamble with my money, only with my life.
Good luck with your results!^
I often feel that I don't know what I want in life and that feeling has been getting stronger recently. I really don't like it.
queenelayliah
03-15-2019, 08:16 PM
Thank you, that really made my day. I needed to hear that. :)
There's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing sex work just as a means to an end, even if you're making the same as you would working a minimum wage vanilla job. I've found there are actually A LOT of sex workers who do the work simply because of things like chronic health problems or even mental health issues, and it's the only thing they can make any sort of living at with no/flexible scheduling around their restrictions. Even the girls who "make bank" usually end up burning out and only working just enough to cover basic bills anyway. Don't let anyone tell you you're "doing it wrong" or "stupid" for working in the industry just because you don't make tens of thousands every month. If it works for you, go for it.
amberlly
03-16-2019, 03:36 AM
Well, 3/20 is the procedure and then however long it takes to find out if it's cancer or not. I had an appointment with my PA yesterday to adjust my meds. We talked about my up coming procedure. She said the tumor like more like a thickening of my bladder wall than a tumor. She also said that my lymph nodes aren't enlarged. She said other things I can't remember, but I came away less worried. Of course she can't really say anything until a biopsy is done, but I feel like I might be okay. I'm still scared though. Thank you both for your posts.
Good luck. My fingers are crossed.
amberlly
03-16-2019, 03:38 AM
I'm so so over going out. I just hang out with people I know and go shopping.
WendiStarr
03-16-2019, 02:23 PM
Part of me feels like this tipster may be full of shit, trying to scare or intimidate me because I refused to give a free bj to his floppy ED dick.
carmen_b
03-16-2019, 02:35 PM
^ If that later piece is true ( the floppy ED part and refusal to assist him ) his tip was probably fake but it's so scary ! ;/
indiegirl
03-17-2019, 01:01 PM
I'm going to have to return to working sober. I have been denied from job after job for my recent dui last year but this weekend I got another charge along with it and another extremely high blood alcohol content but worse. Every officer said they have never seen such a number. :(. I started sober but that damn habit fucks me up like you feel like you NEED it over time to work when it was merely offered by the customer himself. I soooo need to adjust to working sober. I went backwards. I spent time in jail more than half a day this time :(. AGAIN. I'm extremely upset. I'm facing jail time this time. All because I was pulled over in a fancy area with a bored cop running plates and mine was suspended.
I now have bills I cannot afford so it will be a return to normal sober working. YUCK :(. So much easier drunk but cost me a huge price. So to anyone riding on a suspended carefully, abiding by speed/ traffic laws, you are risking it. I sure did. 8 months later. He even called me by my name! It is no game. Some clubs I have worked at girls just in my shift talk about driving careful. All with warrants. That doesn't matter!! Be careful out there.
WendiStarr
03-17-2019, 04:40 PM
I was feeling okay anxiety-wise until I went and took the trash out. There was a man sitting in an suv facing me. He appeared to be watching me. It made me have anxiety when I saw him, as it does whenever I see any vehicles with men sitting in them now. My heart started racing until I caught a whiff of weed. It was definitely coming from that suv. I highly doubt "Uncle Leo" would be sitting in a parking lot getting high, even an undercover, right?
miss.a.p1600
03-17-2019, 08:17 PM
My last vanilla career I worked with men who looked like they could have been strippers in their past lives. I would have gotten head from at least 4 or 5 of them if they offered.
The first 3 months I worked there I had to masturbate daily so that I did not look extra thirsty.
I miss seeing them and fantasizing about them. It’s hard to fantasize about them if I don’t see them at work everyday.
Most of them were professional probably cause they were scared of being reported to HR. 1 guy (he was not attractive to me at all) was very very friendly maybe too friendly and in my mind I was thinking that some woman would take his energy the wrong way. He ended up getting fired for allegedly touching his coworkers butt.
carmen_b
03-17-2019, 08:56 PM
^ Well you don't work there now, so why not ask the best looking one our for drinks and see what happens ? ;)
miss.a.p1600
03-18-2019, 05:21 AM
^good idea Carmen and actually the young guy is one of my former coworkers }:D
We met up last week and hopefully he’ll ask me out again soon
miss.a.p1600
03-18-2019, 08:00 AM
Sometimes I get impatient with men. Like if I don’t hear anything for days, if they text nonstop with no offers to meet up, if they never call, if they ask for pictures, if they expect monogamy after first date or less yet they have shown no value for such unreasonable request, if they offer me nothing but expect me to invest in them, basically if they act like entitled idiots
I also said anal sex was one of those things I’d never do. I still would never do it and I’m confused on how it would be pleasurable to women but I am curious as to how it would feel. I wish I could borrow someone’s anal cavity to try it out.
WendiStarr
03-18-2019, 06:42 PM
I have my long red nightgown on, like I'm Jessica Rabbit. I fully intend on having bf inside me before the night is over. He thinks he's just going to come over and use my wifi for work, pfft! I'm not wearing any panties under this nightgown ;)
miss.a.p1600
03-19-2019, 11:33 AM
Omg! The married DILF just walked into the cafe I’m in. (The one who I ran into a while back trying to avoid people by going through the drive thru cause I was looking busted and embarrassed when he happened to see me - gotta look good even in drive thru lol)
I was hoping to run into him.
Now I’m going to have to go home and fantasize about him and masturbate
Oh and he came to give me a hug, I was so engrossed in my phone texting on stripper webs that I didn’t see him, and he almost saw my phone - with stripper webs on the screen :O
miss.a.p1600
03-19-2019, 01:04 PM
Well
I self pleasured myself while thinking of married DILF. It was great!
I need a cigarette!....and I don’t even smoke
Jalena
03-19-2019, 02:03 PM
So I am learning not only just what kind of a manipulative piece of shit my ex's previous gf is ... I have learnt that she is at least partly responsible for his epic 6mo bender last summer. It's possible she was also the one he cheated on me with when I was out of the country. She seems to go sniffing around him whenever she hears that he is sober and trying to start doing well for himself, with the intent of pulling him back off the wagon.
Yes, I understand he makes his choices as an addict, but this is a guy who can't stay sober long enough to figure out the concept of willpower before either his family or this chick are going at him. And she apparently just does it because she can. I swear to God if I was still living in the area, I would find her and end her.
JGB2009
03-19-2019, 05:27 PM
Well, 3/20 is the procedure and then however long it takes to find out if it's cancer or not. I had an appointment with my PA yesterday to adjust my meds. We talked about my up coming procedure. She said the tumor like more like a thickening of my bladder wall than a tumor. She also said that my lymph nodes aren't enlarged. She said other things I can't remember, but I came away less worried. Of course she can't really say anything until a biopsy is done, but I feel like I might be okay. I'm still scared though. Thank you both for your posts.
Good luck :)