View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
Elle:)
03-19-2019, 06:50 PM
I care a lot about animal rescue and stuff like that but sometimes stories about animal cruelty and suffering make me really sad. Sometimes I wish I didn't follow all those animal rescue pages on Instagram. I have 3 rescues, I wish I could take more. I often feel like I spend too much on stuff I don't need. I think I may try to figure out a way to get more involved in charities. If I ever won the lottery I think I would probably use 1/3 of the money to open a big animal sanctuary. One can only dream.
Elektra Luxx
03-20-2019, 03:06 PM
Well, 3/20 is the procedure and then however long it takes to find out if it's cancer or not. I had an appointment with my PA yesterday to adjust my meds. We talked about my up coming procedure. She said the tumor like more like a thickening of my bladder wall than a tumor. She also said that my lymph nodes aren't enlarged. She said other things I can't remember, but I came away less worried. Of course she can't really say anything until a biopsy is done, but I feel like I might be okay. I'm still scared though. Thank you both for your posts.
All went well. Doctor feels like he got all of the tumor. I'll know in a about a week if it's cancer. Any tumor in the bladder likely is cancer, that what a family member said.
baer45
03-20-2019, 03:36 PM
All went well. Doctor feels like he got all of the tumor. I'll know in a about a week if it's cancer. Any tumor in the bladder likely is cancer, that what a family member said.
I have a MD from internet, I’d say it’s not cancer. You will be fine.
Elle:)
03-20-2019, 08:55 PM
I may end up doing smth really stupid tomorrow but I have nothing to lose I guess it doesn't matter. I will do whatever feels right in the moment and I will let things unfold.
trustfundkiller
03-20-2019, 09:13 PM
I really hope my generosity isn't going to go to waste. There's this girl from the club and we're going to try out a new club together. She doesn't have a car and asks if I can give her a ride and she'll give me gas money. That's fine with me and I tend to get really nervous about auditions, so sometimes I find it easier to audition with a friend. So I'm talking to her on the phone and she's telling me about this guy who wants to fly her to Vegas and he's asking her for a copy of her birth certificate and SS number. I immediately tell her not to give him this information because he doesn't need it to book a flight. She calls him out like I told her to, and then he goes into excuses about trying to find her a place, trying to find her a job, etc. I tell her it sounds like he's trying to scam her, and that she can become a victim of identity theft if she gives him this info.
She's shocked and genuinely had no idea that could happen. We talked for like 30 mins. She's really lost and it seems people are taking advantage of her at every corner, including a guy who wants to "help her" look for a car in her name, but he doesn't want to let her drive it. I said, "So basically, you're buying him a car in your name?" and she says, "Uhhh...yeah...I guess so". She told me she doesn't have a bank account and she's convinced that bank accounts are like "big baller" shit. I tell her to block this guy, he's trying to take advantage of her.
I really don't want to be someone's therapist, especially for free. But yikes. Sucks to see someone like that. I told her to get that bank account set up ASAP and helped her find a Wells Fargo that's a 5 minute walk from where she's staying. I told her not to live with cash anymore. She needs her money to be in a safe place first and foremost, and she needs to keep working and saving until she's financially secure enough to stop depending on hood rats who are trying to pimp her out. She says she's going to go to the bank tomorrow and set up the account.
We'll see. I seriously find it amazing that anyone can be in their early 20s and not have a bank account, or not know the dangers of giving out your SS number to randoms.
SnuffleUffleGrass
03-21-2019, 07:04 AM
I really hope my generosity isn't going to go to waste. There's this girl from the club and we're going to try out a new club together. She doesn't have a car and asks if I can give her a ride and she'll give me gas money. That's fine with me and I tend to get really nervous about auditions, so sometimes I find it easier to audition with a friend. So I'm talking to her on the phone and she's telling me about this guy who wants to fly her to Vegas and he's asking her for a copy of her birth certificate and SS number. I immediately tell her not to give him this information because he doesn't need it to book a flight. She calls him out like I told her to, and then he goes into excuses about trying to find her a place, trying to find her a job, etc. I tell her it sounds like he's trying to scam her, and that she can become a victim of identity theft if she gives him this info.
She's shocked and genuinely had no idea that could happen. We talked for like 30 mins. She's really lost and it seems people are taking advantage of her at every corner, including a guy who wants to "help her" look for a car in her name, but he doesn't want to let her drive it. I said, "So basically, you're buying him a car in your name?" and she says, "Uhhh...yeah...I guess so". She told me she doesn't have a bank account and she's convinced that bank accounts are like "big baller" shit. I tell her to block this guy, he's trying to take advantage of her.
I really don't want to be someone's therapist, especially for free. But yikes. Sucks to see someone like that. I told her to get that bank account set up ASAP and helped her find a Wells Fargo that's a 5 minute walk from where she's staying. I told her not to live with cash anymore. She needs her money to be in a safe place first and foremost, and she needs to keep working and saving until she's financially secure enough to stop depending on hood rats who are trying to pimp her out. She says she's going to go to the bank tomorrow and set up the account.
We'll see. I seriously find it amazing that anyone can be in their early 20s and not have a bank account, or not know the dangers of giving out your SS number to randoms.
Maybe her parents are crackheads/mentally ill. I've noticed when people have educational deficiencies that early in life, it's usually shitty parental guidance.
I confess to a first in my whole damn life- I slipped on ice while walking my dog, and busted up my arm (scratches) and hurt my toe (in my boot.) I am so pathetically grateful to have health insurance. If my fall had been worse I would have had to truck my gimpy ass all alone to the ER. This is exactly why older Americans become "snowbirds" in old age, they won't admit but being injured/dying from a slip and fall is a pretty humiliating way to go. I guess living in Arizona is preferable to that lol...……...
queenelayliah
03-21-2019, 11:30 AM
I hate having to give out my SS number. Just applied to uslove and had to send my ss, address, birtthday and etc through email and i still havent heard back. Now all types of thoughts are going to my head. I dont want to be a victim of identity theft.
Speaking of which i guess i should be more concern about this companies having secruity breaches., my identity been breached twice. From a hosiptial, from Experian and me trusting this one girl who started a pso coming but it never got off the ground but i had to send her copies of my ssi and birth certificate. Sigh. Im soooo worried. I dont know whats worst having to give the number or give a copy of the ss & birth certificate.
WendiStarr
03-21-2019, 06:58 PM
I've not done anything since 1:30pm other than lay in bed and sleep with bf. Yes, actually sleep lol
miss.a.p1600
03-22-2019, 05:53 AM
Sometimes I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster when I deal with men.
I’ll get excited then they’ll do something to let me down then I’ll have to pick myself up cause I don’t want to be that woman with baggage and the cycle starts all over again.
LadyInWaiting
03-22-2019, 05:58 AM
I got extremely drunk because of a really bad and painful headache. Then I fucked some dude I would NEVER touch while sober. I was smart enough to make him wear a rubber. But he tried to get me to stay all night. I said no and called a cab. But now he keeps calling and wants me to move in and " be his woman." HELL NO! LOSE MY NUMBER! I AM SO FUCKING MORTIFIED AND ASHAMED. IT WAS that damn wine. Omfg, WHAT have I done? Im so creeped out.......Shower time! Seriously..... Im too old and experienced to be doing this shit! Wtf, is wrong with me????
charlie61
03-22-2019, 06:12 PM
My partner and i have an international trip coming up. I've never traveled internationally.
My confession is that i don't understand the appeal of international travel, and I'm dreading the trip. I can find interesting, diverse people without paying $$$ to fly to another country - there are interesting people *everywhere*! I live in the beautiful Pacific NW, so i have access to all of the trees and waterfalls and beautiful views that i could ever want. I can eat wonderful, diverse food here. My brain is naturally on the depressed side (no matter what), so i don't get dopamine rewards from doing new! exciting! things!. Most things i do feel the exact same to me.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and have a good attitude about the whole thing. But i deeply abhor the fetishization of international travel. Like, if you put even a tiny bit of effort into being present and mindful in your daily life, then you can truly find adventure anywhere. Backpacking through Europe and being able to tell a story about a great cup of coffee you drank at a quaint little shop there does not make you cool.
My amazing partner loves travel, so I'm doing it for him. And if nothing else, I'll be able to say that i've done it. I'm really trying to change my attitude..i know this will be good for me. But it just sounds expensive and inconvenient at this point. I'm homesick already.
charlie61
03-22-2019, 06:32 PM
^i know this post makes me sound like an asshole. I'm airing out some deep, ugly thoughts. Definitely a confession! :/
I also want to add that i can 100% see how travel would be an incredible experience for single extroverts. Everyone is so different. That's just a confession from me: a partnered introvert who struggles to experience pleasure in life.
51129
miss.a.p1600
03-22-2019, 08:29 PM
I feel somewhat guilty for having this thought but I’d totally fuck (or at least get some head from) the married DILF and I think he knows it.
BecAuse one time I had a very specific fantasy and he was able to repeat it, without me ever telling him, and it was freakishly weird.
Unless he’s willing to come with some substantial offerings......it’s probably just going to remain fantasy. I have really good solo pleasure when thinking about him sexually
miss.a.p1600
03-23-2019, 07:28 AM
I vowed to myself to refrain from sexual pleasure until I was certain a guy was committed to me in a relationship but since I’ve been single for a long time, I usually end up repressing my sexual desires.
My pussy probably hates me by now.
Elle:)
03-23-2019, 09:25 AM
I have so much resentment towards all those feminists who pretend to care about women's rights but are nothing more than fat, unattractive, unintelligent pieces of garbage who know absolutely nothing for the real world and would be nowhere if they didn't have rich loving parents. I would love to see them try making money dancing or any other way that they look down on and not make enough to buy a Starbucks.
carmen_b
03-23-2019, 10:11 AM
omg the club was so bad
I don't want to stay another night in this town.
I may have to do a massage as an outcall just not to make the trip a total disaster but I'm dreading even putting my makeup back on to go see the customer.
I am starving . I need a sugar daddy to take me to nice lunches when I'm in this town.
FUCK IT, I'M LEAVING, UGH !
whirlerz
03-23-2019, 10:43 AM
Aw. Sorry to hear, I hope you can make it up$$$. :)^
carmen_b
03-23-2019, 10:45 AM
I've been thinking about this stuff a lot. I ended up going a little more sexually casual route than I normally would because I was just DYING.
I would always identify a " favorite " of who I was dating and then not be sexual with anyone at all ( while " waiting " for my fave and being loyal to them before they asked ). I think that is why I didn't get any sexual attention for months. I just kept picking the wrong people.
That said ..... I prefer this kind of attention IN an established relationship ....... this recent experiment is more of a "desperate times" thing.
I vowed to myself to refrain from sexual pleasure until I was certain a guy was committed to me in a relationship but since I’ve been single for a long time, I usually end up repressing my sexual desires.
My pussy probably hates me by now.
charlie61
03-23-2019, 06:41 PM
I confess that i don't have any friendships in my life. I don't connect with people over shared interests (like, i don't want a yoga buddy), i connect with them through conversational chemistry. And that's just so difficult and rare for me to find. I don't even know how to go about finding that type of friend. I don't have the energy to start jumping into meetup groups or similar. It's not healthy that i don't have any friendships outside of my relationship.
whirlerz
03-23-2019, 07:14 PM
I confess that i don't have any friendships in my life. I don't connect with people over shared interests (like, i don't want a yoga buddy), i connect with them through conversational chemistry. And that's just so difficult and rare for me to find. I don't even know how to go about finding that type of friend. I don't have the energy to start jumping into meetup groups or similar. It's not healthy that i don't have any friendships outside of my relationship.
I so feel this!^:yes:
miss.a.p1600
03-23-2019, 07:43 PM
So my ex coworker the one I had a work crush on text me asking how I was doing and somehow the conversation turned to how he got drunk with another coworker (the married DILF # who gave me head many years ago)
I jokingly said something about how I bet they got wasted etc.
Then he was like “you know him so well”
Um.....I certainly hope his ass didn’t tell a soul about what went down because I went to great lengths pretending not to know him just so no one would suspect anything
This convo led me to the realization that I may need to just say goodbye to former work crush and stop responding to his texts. I built up this fantasy that wasn’t real, he’s probably not my type, I only liked him cause of work, since I’m not there we probably have nothing in common, and I think I’m out of his league and I can get a better/more attractive/wealthier guy anyways.
whirlerz
03-23-2019, 07:46 PM
Yea, he did u can bet your bottom dollar!
Men are notorious gossip, especially when it comes to us!
Sorry, Ms P!
miss.a.p1600
03-23-2019, 07:53 PM
I guess I thought since he was married he didn’t have the luxury of bragging like that.
Damn guess I was wrong
He does a lot of slick seduction at the workplace and if his wife saw his ass ......
I guess maybe since he’s able to keep his work relationships totally separate from his wife/home like then he can afford to gossip a little
Idk
Oh well I’ll deny ,deny deny
On to greener pastures anyways
whirlerz
03-23-2019, 07:55 PM
I guess I thought since he was married he didn’t have the luxury of bragging like that.
Damn guess I was wrong
Nope, they can't resist yapping about this!
Anyway, SO BORED rn. :(
miss.a.p1600
03-23-2019, 08:04 PM
Nope, they can't resist yapping about this!
Anyway, SO BORED rn. :(
Lol!
And probably exaggerated the fuck out of the story like “I had her spread eagle, bent over backwards, came in her face, and wore her pussy out so good she had to call off from work” lol
Whatever.
Haha I’m bored too. Stripper webs is really a ghost town on Friday and Saturday nights. Too bad the favorite male troll is not trolling tonight for entertainment - though I bet if someone called him out on one of his posts his ass would show up in the forum no later than 9am tomorrow morning. I think he has some sort of alert set up on his phone he’s that paranoid
He’s a true thirstbucket!
whirlerz
03-23-2019, 08:11 PM
who tf are you talking about: Pm me. Lol
I'm listening to tunes on my phone, remembering when I used to go to bars & see live bands, miss that.
Thinking of trying to sell outfits @ a nearby spa, there was a news cam crew there a couple wks ago
queenelayliah
03-24-2019, 12:10 AM
I confess that i don't have any friendships in my life. I don't connect with people over shared interests (like, i don't want a yoga buddy), i connect with them through conversational chemistry. And that's just so difficult and rare for me to find. I don't even know how to go about finding that type of friend. I don't have the energy to start jumping into meetup groups or similar. It's not healthy that i don't have any friendships outside of my relationship.
I 100% feel you on this. I have no friends or relationship. So atleast you have a relationship.
Confession note:
I been messing around with my ex and i promised myself i would not allow my emotions to get involved. But now i been thinking about marriage & a baby and how i want that lifestyle & it might as well be with him. But he doesnt want a gf right now.
We also made plans for him to spend the night with me tonight but he couldn’t because he’s friend tried to commit suicide and he’s been with his friend since last night. Sigh, lowkey im upset at the friend but im upset.,at myself for being upset that he’s not here. Im not suppose to have feelings for this person, he just suppose to be a companion/ occasional fuck thats it!
carmen_b
03-24-2019, 12:46 PM
^ So hard to separate the feeling though !
Cut him off if it doesn't 100% seem to be working for you!
seashell
03-24-2019, 03:54 PM
I confess that there are a ton of English guys in my city due to sports. This weekend is like English accent heaven. Mmmmmm! But I want to be a good girl and not just have a meaningless one night stand.
charlie61
03-24-2019, 05:56 PM
Every time i start to ramp back up into getting back into sex work, i can't tell if I'm serious about it or not. Like, i can't tell if I'll actually go through with it.
AChildOfBoredom
03-24-2019, 08:30 PM
I hope I never fall in love.
charlie61
03-24-2019, 09:49 PM
I wish i could get rid of my nipples. Stop having sensation there. Even when something random brushes up against them, it gives me an intensely negative sensation. Ugh. I have PTS in my nipples from touching them so damn often while dancing for 10 years.
seashell
03-25-2019, 02:31 AM
Every time i start to ramp back up into getting back into sex work, i can't tell if I'm serious about it or not. Like, i can't tell if I'll actually go through with it.
I feel this so much. If I stay away from it for too long, it's really hard to go back. I start avoiding it and getting cold feet.
And it's not that I don't enjoy it for the most part. I usually have fun. I think it's more about identity and what it means to "be a sex worker" again.
baer45
03-25-2019, 07:04 AM
I admire an independent woman, who is more than self-efficient. For instance, my nana, she's very independent. She's a wonderful cook, terrific housekeeper, does everything better than most of the people I know. I mean everything.
But let me tell you something, she's a pain in the ass to take care of once she's too old to do it herself. There is only HER way, no other ways. She needs a robot. I still love her though.
AChildOfBoredom
03-25-2019, 01:38 PM
she's a pain in the ass to take care of once she's too old to do it herself. There is only HER way, no other ways.
Oh, yes. That’s my entire family in a nutshell. I already hear this from the girls living here, and I can let go a little and try things a different way sometimes, but it’s difficult. I haven’t forgotten how my grandmother was, or how my mother can be. I’m sure I’ll be much worse.
WendiStarr
03-25-2019, 02:17 PM
I wish i could get rid of my nipples. Stop having sensation there. Even when something random brushes up against them, it gives me an intensely negative sensation. Ugh. I have PTS in my nipples from touching them so damn often while dancing for 10 years.
I feel like I could have written that. I would get rid of my nipples too or if I could get rid of sensation there. Nipple stimulation is painful to me, annoys me, and pisses me off.
My confession is that my bf is away and I am feeling super needy right now. He left a pair of shorts that he was wearing in my bed and I cuddled with them because his scent is on it.
baer45
03-25-2019, 06:54 PM
Oh, yes. That’s my entire family in a nutshell. I already hear this from the girls living here, and I can let go a little and try things a different way sometimes, but it’s difficult. I haven’t forgotten how my grandmother was, or how my mother can be. I’m sure I’ll be much worse.
When someone asks you how to do something, do you start with “one way to do it” or “the way I do it/the best way to do it”?
carmen_b
03-25-2019, 09:13 PM
** NO QUOTES **
I had some sex. It had been forever ( prob 9 months since decent sex since I'm not counting July / Aug. when my partner and I were failing and lame ).
It was short and didn't last long ( but there was hand and oral action supplementing ) .
I feel happy about the experience but almost in an experimental way like " wow, I finally did that ".
I'm old fashioned ( only have had sex within established relationship ) . I might delete this. Keeping the deets secret too a bit.
I was nice though. Tons of snuggles . It was a 24 hour date. We kept extending the time. I think I picked this person for some particular reasons. I felt very comfortable and relaxed right away with this person. I will give this some time and see how I feel.
AChildOfBoredom
03-27-2019, 05:17 AM
When someone asks you how to do something, do you start with “one way to do it” or “the way I do it/the best way to do it”?
Situation dependent. When I'm at work, I've learned from the people I work with, and especially when it comes to working in the shop, all the ones who've been at it for 20 years, they'll always tell you, "well, this is the way I do it, so let me show you that to give you a place to start, then from there you go about finding the way which works best for you", and I forward that same sentiment when I have to pass it on to someone else.
But when it comes to being at home and in a place which is purely my domain, all of that goes out the window, and it's my way. My two 'refugees', when the first moved in, they had absolutely zero domestic skills. Well, anyone living under my roof is going to know how to make food. I cannot fathom the idea that someone could be in their mid-to-late teens and not have a grasp of how to do this, although I have to step back sometimes and remember that the 'English' girls didn't have an upbringing which was focused on trying to transform them into the ideal little housewife. So, I tried teaching them the way that I know how, and it never really worked out. But I was stubborn.. they were going to learn my way, come hell or high water. Well, one kitchen items was a point of contention, and I needed some outside intervention to get me to sway on this one.... measuring cups. I don't use those. Well, I bought some, and they started using them, and they started getting markedly better at it. So it's good, because they'll go their own way at some point, and me, the time they spent living here... will just be a fleeting memory. So, when they do, they'll be able to take care of themselves. A good thing, right? Yet, I feel like such an abject failure because they weren't able to learn my way.
I never thought I could despise something inanimate, yet, whenever I see those measuring cups, I feel almost like they're mocking me. Whoever leaves first, they're taking those with them.
WendiStarr
03-27-2019, 05:33 AM
I've been applying to computer tech, tech support, and help desk jobs. I got an interview request for one. I'm sitting here thinking about if I was working a 9-5 type of job, would I still be able to do fbsm and platonic cuddling? I'd hate to lose my regulars. I like to keep them, just in case because you never know how a vanilla job is going to work out. What if my coworkers and boss hate me and I get fired? What if there is a toxic, bully boss or someone who's buddy-buddy with the boss and I end up quitting? I know the last one is probably unlikely seeing as how it's a male dominated field and every workplace bully boss I've ever encountered has been female. Then I start thinking about the whole having to be on someone else's schedule, instead of being able to make my own schedule, not being able to take a vacation or time off when I want to, and I'm feeling less enthusiastic about getting a vanilla job. On the other hand I have been undergoing fertility treatment which I'll be stopping after this month and likely resuming in the summer. I'm going to need a vanilla job to fall back on. Grr, I have this internal conflict going on in my mind.
Elektra Luxx
03-27-2019, 10:21 AM
^^^
All those things you mentioned could happen.
Insurance is a plus. I wonder if fertility treatments are covered by insurance?
Elektra Luxx
03-27-2019, 10:30 AM
I was so tired yesterday being in training all day. I got home around 5:30 pm and immediately fell asleep. I woke up at around 11:30 pm to pee and drink water and watch some TV then went back to sleep.
SnuffleUffleGrass
03-27-2019, 09:01 PM
Funny confession- I watched a student film on Netflix and I recognized where it was filmed. I didn't say that to my movie buddy because I used to do a lot of escorting in that city and didn't want to explain how I recognized the landmarks.
Bonus- I could tell it was a movie funded by people in the LDS church. How? A lot of people don't know this but a lot of wealthy people in Northern CA (LDS, Catholic, San Francisco trust fund people) sneak personal references into books or movies. The movie wasn't that great but had a cute message of community and redemption.
(Yes I know I've stumbled upon the secret that church nonprofits use some donation money to teach film students at religious universities. That's been a thing for a while.)
queenelayliah
03-28-2019, 01:18 AM
So went to the obgym and got my uterus lining biposy done and that was not a nice feeling let me tell you. Shit you can literally feel them scraping your uterus. Let hope for negstive results.
On the plus side i got to wear my new pretty dress i brought so i was really happy about that.
seashell
03-28-2019, 04:29 AM
I've been constantly traveling for about 3 years. It's been a year since I have attempted to settle down in a long-term living situation (which didn't work out), and in about two weeks, I'll be looking for a 1 year apartment rental. I'm so nervous! The past couple of years, most of the long term plans I've invested time and energy into have blown up in my face. I failed to plan things out properly. It's so scary to think of taking a big risk and ending up as depressed and disappointed as before. And even if this works out, it will be a huge adjustment. I'm trying so hard not to think about it.
Aurora_Sunset
03-28-2019, 09:30 AM
I've been on such a desperate binge of self-improvement, personal/professional development programs, thinking "SOMETHING has to help me get back on track" that my email and facebook messages/facebook groups and notifications are now just a constant swamp of updates and product pitches from a bunch of stuff I half-assed did and don't want to hear from anymore. I know I should just unsubscribe, but when I open up my phone and just see a bunch of crap, my reaction is to just delete the messages and emails as quickly as possible, not sit there and sift through figuring out how to unsubscribe to half of them.
Panthera
03-28-2019, 09:41 AM
you can use unroll.me to unsubscribe fast and easy from emails you don't want anymore... I was in the same situation and that did help.
queenelayliah
03-29-2019, 12:40 AM
So i work for a total of 5 phone companies and now 2 webcam sites but i havent been doing anything except nf. I dont feel like working, but my bills says other wise. I had to borrow $400 from family to pay the rent because march was soooooo slow.
I think the reason why im slow to work the other companies becuase NF spoils me with their percentages.
Ifyouseekamy
03-29-2019, 03:11 AM
I cheated on my diet. This is why i work when I have “nothing to do” because I just want to snack when I’m home alone!
amberlly
03-29-2019, 03:48 AM
I cheated on my diet. This is why i work when I have “nothing to do” because I just want to snack when I’m home alone!
I'm the same.