View Full Version : Confessions Thread!
carmen_b
04-17-2019, 12:25 PM
^ I've gone booze free on multi-months stints too and there is really something to it. It's HARD on your body / metabolism.
carmen_b
04-18-2019, 07:55 PM
I'm at a loss with what to do with myself of the next 3-4 days. I'll probably strip trip mostly out of boredom which is a little embarrassing.
SnuffleUffleGrass
04-19-2019, 06:39 AM
I'm at a loss with what to do with myself of the next 3-4 days. I'll probably strip trip mostly out of boredom which is a little embarrassing.
Nothing wrong with that.
carmen_b
04-19-2019, 10:13 AM
^ Agreed ! Hahaha
I was just coming back to post my current status which is basically no more civilian dating ( for a bit ) for me.
I'll just go collect the $$$ and use it to treat myself great. Waiting till after the holiday then hitting the road.
Aurora_Sunset
04-20-2019, 11:36 AM
My almost-stepkids are cute but I am glad we only have them part time. The 7-year old has this habit of acting excited about stuff we have planned until it’s actually time to do it and then he acts like a huge turd and whines and refuses to participate. And the 3-year old wants to do stuff but needs heavy supervision at all times otherwise it’ll be a disaster. Kids really do exhaust me. I feel validated in my lack of desire to not have any of my own since I was 14. I’ll have more fun with them when they’re older and out of the whiny stages.
Jalena
04-20-2019, 12:59 PM
I am finding myself more and more on edge every day, as I wait to hear back about the job I've been pursuing. I have spent the last three weeks hovering in the 'Reviewing Minimum Qualifications' phase following my first interview. There is no one that I can contact for an update as they do not respond to questions about applications. I know government moves slowly, and no news should be good news, but Jesus rollerblading Christ.
My additional fear is that, after having danced a whopping total of 5 nights in the last 5 years ... that the industry has gone so far to hell that I won't be able to earn decently if I go back to dancing while continuing to try to land a straight job. I am reading all over the Hustle Hut section and was always careful to keep reasonable nightly/weekly goals for myself when I was dancing, as I am easily discouraged, but some of the things I read in other areas of the forum have me feeling really unsettled.
Elektra Luxx
04-20-2019, 01:26 PM
I'm really battling depression today. I'm so physically tired and sad and I can't shake it. I just want to cry. I just want to sleep. Bf gave me an Easter basket early and it's full of little gifts and candies and I still feel sad. What's wrong with me?
I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm constantly afraid and it's wearing me down. I've lost the ability to pretend that things are alright. I was able to escape into strong persona that helped me deal with reality. As that persona, I could do anything and convince everyone I encountered that I was that person and I still keep my real self safe, but now my real self is sick. It's too much reality. I want to become someone else.
I want take something that gets me completely stumbling down, fucked up or take something that makes me feel invincible, even if it's just for a little while. From past experience I know that I just can't just do this half way. I'll jump it with both feet and that's not a good thing either.
Tomorrow my family get together for Easter. I'm really glad my party cousin is in Louisiana. I really love him and miss him and I really want to see him, but he's (and his friends are) a really bad influence on me. He'll give me excuse to do stupid shit.
Aurora_Sunset
04-20-2019, 05:25 PM
I'm really battling depression today. I'm so physically tired and sad and I can't shake it. I just want to cry. I just want to sleep. Bf gave me an Easter basket early and it's full of little gifts and candies and I still feel sad. What's wrong with me?
I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm constantly afraid and it's wearing down. I've lost the ability to pretend that things are alright. I was able to escape into strong persona that helped me deal with reality. As that persona, I could do anything and convince everyone I encountered that I was that person and I still keep my real self safe, but now my real self is sick. It's too much reality. I want to become someone else.
I want take something that gets completely stumbling down, fucked up or take something that makes me feel invincible, even if it's just for a little while. From past experience I know that I just can't just do this half way. I'll jump it with both feet and that's not a good thing either.
Tomorrow my family get together for Easter. I'm really glad my party cousin is in Louisiana. I really love him and miss him and I really want to see him, but he's (and his friends are) a really bad influence on me. He'll give me excuse to do stupid shit.
I feel this really hard.
I’ve always struggled with depression but lately it just feels oppressively hopeless. I’ve never had anxiety issues though, but I feel like I’ve developed them. All day, I feel on the verge of tears and panic for no reason and can’t stop obsessing about little things that I know don’t really matter. I’m over the world.
In the past, I would have taken a week or two to party/“fall off the wagon” too, but I can’t do that now. I have too many responsibilities every day. And skirting them just makes me feel worse cuz it screws me even more. I know I shouldn’t miss being irresponsible but at least when I could, it was like I could force it out of my system. Instead, what happens now is a never ending cycle of eventually breaking down for one day cuz I NEED it instead of working every single day at shit I hate. Then I fall behind even more and thus continue the circle of burnout.
Ugh I just... don’t know what to do
lynn2009
04-20-2019, 07:21 PM
Right now I could take a thirty dollar uber into the center of DC in less than an hour and instead I spent Saturday night deep cleaning, including wiping down the baseboards in the kitchen.
miss.a.p1600
04-21-2019, 08:51 AM
I remember the first time I decided to masturbate so I would know what an orgasm felt like
I read a bunch of magazines to get an idea of other ladies experiences, waited till my roommate was gone, and watched myself in front of the mirror. So many times I almost gave up but I decided to keep going till it happened.
This is probably where I get my fetish for mirrors and I am glad my roommate didn’t suddenly burst in the dorm room
WendiStarr
04-21-2019, 12:18 PM
I'm glad to have a full-time vanilla job but I miss escorting, specifically I miss the money, not having to have sex. My bf does a good of keeping me satisfied in that department but sometimes I think what if I just do it occasionally but raise my rate high to like 500+? Then again, I'm trying my best to be monogamous and I've not had any real interest in any other dick than his.
DonaDiabla
04-22-2019, 07:30 PM
So, I am really working hard to ensure that my adult business makes the maximum amount of money this year. I am doing everything from updating all of my listings to really updating my hustles because I am getting myself prepared. Meanwhile, I am going to start my Real Estate Broker classes in June of this year. :)
Elle:)
04-22-2019, 08:46 PM
With all the after Easter sales I ended up buying too much candy.
charlie61
04-22-2019, 09:12 PM
I confess that I have about $3500 invested in cryptocurrency. I bought at a good time, and I'm diversified. Fun watching the coins grow!
Elektra Luxx
04-23-2019, 01:01 AM
I can't sleep. My brain is going at light speed, thinking too much.
miss.a.p1600
04-23-2019, 01:03 AM
Me either
I feel like I kind of slacked off this morning and early afternoon so to compensate I end up catching up on work related tasks this evening and now my brain is wired
ravenskyy
04-23-2019, 08:55 AM
I had an interview today with an insurance marketing company. I'm pretty sure I did amazing and will be offered the job. I also am supposed to start training today, for a new sales job. Instead of driving to the training or being excited and hopeful for this other position, I'm sitting on my couch, eating lunch.
I am really bad at being normal. I ace every interview that I get, but when it's time to do the job, I'm the queen of self sabotage. All I've done for the past year is complain about camming. All I do is think about how much I hate it, and how much I hate men. But the idea of working a regular job, for a basic wage, makes me want to cry. So I'll get hired for a new position and later, find an excuse to not go through with it. This has become a serious problem. I'm surprised that my husband hasn't gotten mad at me yet, but I know that he's sick of my indecisive bullshit. I'm sick of it too.
I feel like my mental illness is going to keep me trapped in this industry.
WendiStarr
04-24-2019, 10:18 AM
I'm thinking I should play the role of stone cold ice queen later when bf comes by to pick up his charger. I don't mean that I'll be a bitch or rude, I just think I should hide my emotions.
Glamourmilf
04-24-2019, 11:37 AM
I had an interview today with an insurance marketing company. I'm pretty sure I did amazing and will be offered the job. I also am supposed to start training today, for a new sales job. Instead of driving to the training or being excited and hopeful for this other position, I'm sitting on my couch, eating lunch.
I am really bad at being normal. I ace every interview that I get, but when it's time to do the job, I'm the queen of self sabotage. All I've done for the past year is complain about camming. All I do is think about how much I hate it, and how much I hate men. But the idea of working a regular job, for a basic wage, makes me want to cry. So I'll get hired for a new position and later, find an excuse to not go through with it. This has become a serious problem. I'm surprised that my husband hasn't gotten mad at me yet, but I know that he's sick of my indecisive bullshit. I'm sick of it too.
I feel like my mental illness is going to keep me trapped in this industry.
I know exactly how you feel.
When I first started reading your post, I was hoping for something different. Because I know how much you hate camming.
Every time I speak to a friend of mine, who used to be an escort, and a madam. She asks me how much longer can I deal with these men?
What's going to happen when I'm 70? 80?
It seems laughable, but 8 years ago when I started camming, I never thought I'd be doing it now.
But, here we are.
I've been in adult biz all of my life. I'm supposed to go back to school? Get a real job that pays shit?
Now, when she asks what I'm going to do, I tell her that I'm open to suggestions.
She says that I can be a YouTube sensation, because I have a great personality.
Lol! Okay. Poof! :genie::wizard:
Hi, I'm Glam. I'm a YouTube sensation.:curlers:
SnuffleUffleGrass
04-24-2019, 12:50 PM
Confession- I discovered one of my in-laws moved back to where I live because of severe drug dependency issues. It's so sad. On the other hand, I've known this person long enough to know that things are not going to get better. I confess that I can't treat her like a friend or an in-law anymore.
I told my boyfriend she isn't allowed to come visit us here. We have too many nice things in our place, and I already know she doesn't even like me in a friendly way BUT would act like she liked me if it meant getting favors or free items. Seems to be a generational dysfunction issue with her (the addiction and the using people.) I am already familiar with the bad habits of long term addicts.
Sigh. How time flies. She was allright when I met her but somewhere in the past several years she really took a turn for the worse. So very sad, and a waste of a (former) very wonderful person....
Elektra Luxx
04-24-2019, 02:04 PM
McDonald's drive through guy said that it makes his day everytime he see me and that made my day.
Confession: I'm 8 years older than him, but I could so fall for him. He's charming, goodlooking, smart, motivated and has a sexy voice. He has a girlfriend and of course, I have bf. It's all about timing.
carmen_b
04-25-2019, 11:23 AM
^ Watch about for those younger ones. God, they are so pretty haha. My " Mr. Tall " was 10 years younger and I fell in love with him in days haha ( not really or fully .... but those feelings were there ).
carmen_b
04-25-2019, 11:27 AM
I was 6 days late on the car payment to my ex just to be a bitch basically and inconvenience him a bit.
I am not really sure why I did it ( probably just to get a reaction ). I think I am still mad he didn't just give this car to me in our split . He did sell it to me about 45% under blue book BUT this whole thing agitates me.
He got it when he got a cash windfall from a family real estate sale and bought it " for us " 4 years ago.
It makes me so angry that he just let the car sit without repairs when he was in his " summer 2018 whining / complaining " stage and that me getting it going ( $1900 ) wasn't recognized more. It was a huge gesture !
We each had another car but this is the most road trip worthy one and it was important to have it functional.
I'll be taking it on a summer strip club tour in his honor hahaha.
Maybe I’ll send pics in front of various clubs / signs.
queenelayliah
04-25-2019, 04:10 PM
I have lost 17 pounds since starting my weight lost journey in January!! Im so happy
carmen_b
04-25-2019, 05:17 PM
^ About 10 for me since Sept. ! I think I was carrying " I'm miserable " weight around in 2018.
carmen_b
04-27-2019, 11:33 AM
I know .... tsk tsk.
I texted " Mr London" from the last shift thread.
There was some talk about meeting in Atlantic City. Haha .
WendiStarr
04-28-2019, 04:56 PM
I envy the women who lost nipple sensation after breast augmentation. It's been 4 years and the fuckers are still hypersensitive to the point of being painful. I do not ever experience pleasurable sensations when they are stimulated. I hate them being touched, pulled, tweaked, sucked, licked, or any attention on them at all. All I feel is pain and I wish bf would stop forgetting and sucking on the stupid son of bitches! Ugh! If I could, I would just get my nipples removed. I don't need them.
carmen_b
04-29-2019, 04:43 PM
( unrelated to the post of mine a couple up )
Well .... on one hand I will not will any awards for self control anytime soon.
On the other ...... I am SO sexually satisfied right now. I have reeled back my emotional expectation with the person responsible for that .
Hopefully it will not be a disaster emotionally in a few days. Right now I feel so amazing.
SnuffleUffleGrass
04-29-2019, 06:59 PM
( unrelated to the post of mine a couple up )
Well .... on one hand I will not will any awards for self control anytime soon.
On the other ...... I am SO sexually satisfied right now. I have reeled back my emotional expectation with the person responsible for that .
Hopefully it will not be a disaster emotionally in a few days. Right now I feel so amazing.
I want details, sounds lovely.
StellaRose
04-29-2019, 08:31 PM
Today I’m embarrassed to confess that while getting an oil change, it was pointed out to me that my registration sticker was 4 months expired. Oh how the time flies. Oops
JGB2009
04-29-2019, 08:34 PM
I confess that the guy I broke it off with is still my friend on FB. I will just show how happy I am with out his sorry ass!!!!
cyberstripper
04-30-2019, 01:04 AM
What probiotic do you use?
I'm sorry it took me this long to get back to you, I have been all over the forum the past two days.
I purchased FloraPro Complete probiotic for vaginal health. I was unable to find it on amazon again but any type of feminine health probiotic should work. I would avoid doing this with those that contain other ingredients like cranberry or d-mannose, though. Hope this helps.
cyberstripper
04-30-2019, 01:21 AM
I have not had sex for a month because my BF left the country on business. One day he told me he was not even going to let himself cum. I confessed I was doing the same.
I do have some sexual hang ups. I have a difficult time cumming and often have to use vibrator on high to get me there. Like jack-hammer high.
I have avoided toys all month but have played with myself here and there, just bringing myself to the edge.
It really seems to have helped! I am doing a lot to renew my sexual energy but it is a process. I have attempted to do this once before and do "yoni healing" exercises to regain sensitivity..but I never stuck with it.
My bf does not mind and loves when I use my vibe, but I am on a mission to have more squirting and g-spot orgasms. I do every now and then and clit play is a must for me in either case. I have never made myself squirt but I have at certain times with past lovers and with my current.
This man has been so attentive to my sexual needs and I am simply not used to it. I am so weird. I am sex positive and love sex and talking about it, but I realized when he asks me during the act for direction or to tell him what I like/dislike I really do not know what to say and get weird when it comes to expressing my sexual needs..His attentiveness is sooo nice, but like I said I am just not used to it...not that every guy I have dated was a sex god and or horrible in bed. Being in a very LTR in the past my ex knew exactly how to get me there so there was not much conversation going on in that department after some time. When I became single, I had both good sex and bad sex with my partners at the time...but honestly had my best orgasms with dudes who were pretty much complete strangers. I like the thrill of one night stands in a way, I guess....but also love being in a relationship and connecting more with someone and have had amazing sex with my current.
He is an amazing lover but I do not cum every time and I think he feels he is not satisfying me. I do not know about everyone else, but I do not need to cum to be satisfied. To me, sex is not a means to an end and is not any less satisfactory if I do not cum...it is just an added bonus if I do. I also go in and out of bouts of being really horny, then not so much. This man is so fucking hot IMHO, probably the hottest guy I have ever been with so I want to fuck him any chance I can get, whether I cum or not lol.
I have totally been lusting after him this whole month and I am relishing in this horniness. I do get horny but not at all like I used to in my 20's and before the sex industry. I did tell my bf that I am desensitized from being in the business and to please not take it personally if I do not cum, it is not him.
But, I have to learn to open up more as well. I may have been weird about it at first because I didn't know if it was "safe" Why indulge a man in my innermost needs and desires if we may not be an item in the longrun..on that note, this is cheating myself out of good sex in either case. Now that we are an item I will take more control and better express my needs in the bedroom.
Guys find out I am a dominant performer and even the most alpha of male seem to kinda get off on that, a woman who can take control in the bedroom...but it is just a character for me as well so it does not come naturally to me in my personal sex life. I also find dirty talking inauthentic because I do it on a daily basis and it reminds me too much of work.
Interesting hmm lol.
cyberstripper
04-30-2019, 02:22 AM
I confess that the guy I broke it off with is still my friend on FB. I will just show how happy I am with out his sorry ass!!!!
OMG I wish the former narc/sociopath FWB I was seeing a for a few months didn't block me from facebook, but knowing him he probably has a fake account and is one of my fake friends lol. I sooooo want him to see me with my new man, I admit. He would be sooo fucking jealous. My former is bald, short, former roid user with hormone issues that resulted in him having a gut comparable to a woman that is a few months pregnant. He has more hair on his back and balls than he does on his damn head, crooked teeth (that I once found endearing)....and did I mention a 6 inch dick that curves so much to the left it looks like it is literally trying to hide from its owner lol. Ewww I fucked that lol...I do not know what I saw in this dude, but his personality is the ugliest thing about him. That is what ultimately turned me off from him, the way he treated me and others. He is very insecure about all of this ofc. We tried to remain friends and this dude would always get soooo jealous and insecure toward the end of our fling and even just as friends when I would mention other men in my life. He took the liberty of talking about all of the "hoes he has and is currently banging" even when we were seeing each other, and god forbid if I ever mentioned my past/current sexual encounters, guys I was dating, or even platonic male friends he would throw a shit fit...even after I friend zoned his ass. Any time another man was mentioned, he would share his negative opinion of them and never even met them. For example, a male friend being a homeowner at a young age was called a spoiled brat who came from money and had it easy. Not the case, he just made good business and financial decisions. This is coming from a dude who now lives in a weekly apartment in Vegas and is in a lot of debt with a piece of shit truck. I am not a narc/sociopath but this guy became unbearable so eventually I admit I would say things that I know would make him squirm. Like they say, treat others how you want to be treated. I was only returning the favor. I honestly dislike that I went there too, because I should have never stooped to his level.
My current BF is a 6'1 naturally built stallion with beautiful long hair, an amazing smile and not an ounce of back/ball hair lol. He has a 10 inch thick dick that puts my former to shame. He has a bad ass ride and owns a nice home, financially secure and does come from money but does not act like a twat about it..he was not spoiled. Amazing, kind hearted person. I know this is mean but I fantasize about narc seeing with my new man out and about, or online/social media in some way shape or form.
My ex that I was in a very long term relationship with, I still very much care about as a person (not the narc socio) I would never want him to be caught off guard like this and see me out and about enjoying my time and happy with my new bf. I know my ex wants me to be happy but this would be a lot for him. We have been apart for two years and my ex is a good man. I have no idea how to tell him that I have entered a serious relationship recently, if the topic arises. I know my ex will get emotional if he knew and I wish my ex happiness and only the best. So, I am not a vindictive woman if I came off that way talking about the narc socio.
SnuffleUffleGrass
04-30-2019, 05:34 AM
OMG I wish the former narc/sociopath FWB I was seeing a for a few months didn't block me from facebook, but knowing him he probably has a fake account and is one of my fake friends lol. I sooooo want him to see me with my new man, I admit. He would be sooo fucking jealous. My former is bald, short, former roid user with hormone issues that resulted in him having a gut comparable to a woman that is a few months pregnant. He has more hair on his back and balls than he does on his damn head, crooked teeth (that I once found endearing)....and did I mention a 6 inch dick that curves so much to the left it looks like it is literally trying to hide from its owner lol. Ewww I fucked that lol...I do not know what I saw in this dude, but his personality is the ugliest thing about him. That is what ultimately turned me off from him, the way he treated me and others. He is very insecure about all of this ofc. We tried to remain friends and this dude would always get soooo jealous and insecure toward the end of our fling and even just as friends when I would mention other men in my life. He took the liberty of talking about all of the "hoes he has and is currently banging" even when we were seeing each other, and god forbid if I ever mentioned my past/current sexual encounters, guys I was dating, or even platonic male friends he would throw a shit fit...even after I friend zoned his ass. Any time another man was mentioned, he would share his negative opinion of them and never even met them. For example, a male friend being a homeowner at a young age was called a spoiled brat who came from money and had it easy. Not the case, he just made good business and financial decisions. This is coming from a dude who now lives in a weekly apartment in Vegas and is in a lot of debt with a piece of shit truck. I am not a narc/sociopath but this guy became unbearable so eventually I admit I would say things that I know would make him squirm. Like they say, treat others how you want to be treated. I was only returning the favor. I honestly dislike that I went there too, because I should have never stooped to his level.
My current BF is a 6'1 naturally built stallion with beautiful long hair, an amazing smile and not an ounce of back/ball hair lol. He has a 10 inch thick dick that puts my former to shame. He has a bad ass ride and owns a nice home, financially secure and does come from money but does not act like a twat about it..he was not spoiled. Amazing, kind hearted person. I know this is mean but I fantasize about narc seeing with my new man out and about, or online/social media in some way shape or form. .
It's normal to feel this way. When humans feel slighted/hurt, many want either revenge or for *someone* to punish/teach the "bad guy" (or "girl" as it is sometimes.)
People with Personality Disorders often struggle with seeing others happy...They seems to have an inability to "tough it out" emotionally, feel threatened by emotionally balanced people, and get their feelings of stability/contentment from literally being surrounded by other people (the ultimate "safety in groups" rationalizer.)
My confession- gonna drink the whole damn pot of coffee this morning, and go on a cleaning rampage. Yeahhhhhh partner....yeeehawww
WendiStarr
04-30-2019, 07:42 AM
Just yesterday I vowed to eat more veggies and swear off all sweets but today one of the guys brought in Krispy Kreme glazed donuts and I couldn't resist. I ate one of those delicious, sugary, empty calorie garbage donuts. Some people have alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. My addiction is sweets/sugar and I'm failing at trying to break the habit.
carmen_b
04-30-2019, 08:36 AM
Cyber :
Whoa. Talk about an upgrade, omg!
P.s., all you need to do is post just one flattering pic of the two of you on FB to get a rise.
Ex’s always spy.
carmen_b
04-30-2019, 11:11 AM
It was B my Australian Lover. I hoped he would be a boyfriend.
Basically ...... I am just not going to " try " with him anymore. No reaching out out to him for ideas 1-2 days ahead to spend time together / no talking of traveling together in 3-4 weeks.
It was the sex marathon I'd asked for ( I had cut him off a few days ago but then he easily surfaced with no effort from me and I couldn’t say no ).
He arrived at 8 p.m. sharp ( I told him to get here and get naked in the bed and 8 p.m. and I'd arrive back from a dinner soon after ) .
We got there at the same time so made out on the couch a bit first.
I was treated to a TON of fingering attention ( my " thing " ) . He came the first time from just fingering me which is something I find really hot. We had sex a couple times that evening and tons of snuggles. We didn't go anywhere.
The whole evening ( and next morning ) was just in bed. I went for more sex in the morning too ( he took care of me but he was so worn out he couldn't have any more ).
Then he took me to go get this amazing Philly cheesesteak.
Happiness.
Even if nothing happens from here with him it was fun and satisfying.
UPDATE : 48 hours have passed. Still satisfied and not melting emotionally. Haha. There are no plans on the calendar ..... cause that's B. I'm just gonna go with the flow here.
I want details, sounds lovely.
SnuffleUffleGrass
04-30-2019, 12:51 PM
It was B my Australian Lover. I hoped he would be a boyfriend.
Basically ...... I am just not going to " try " with him anymore. Meaning .... no reaching out out to him for ideas 1-2 days ahead to spend time together / no talking of traveling together in 3-4 weeks.
It was the sex marathon I'd asked for ( I had cut him off but then he easily surfaced with no effort from me and I couldn’t say no ).
He arrived at 8 p.m. sharp ( I told him to get here and get naked in the bed and 8 p.m. and I'd arrive back from a dinner soon after ) . We got there same time so made out on the couch a bit first.
I was treated to a TON of fingering attention ( my " thing " ) . He came the first time from just fingering me which is something I find really hot. We had sex a couple times that evening and tons of snuggles. We didn't go anywhere.
The whole evening ( and next morning ) was just in bed. I went for more sex in the morning too ( he took care of me but he was so worn out he couldn't have any more sex).
Then he took me to go get this amazing Philly cheesesteak.
Happiness.
Even if nothing happens from here with him it was fun and satisfying.
Ahhh sounds incredible.
Aurora_Sunset
04-30-2019, 01:03 PM
We eloped on our family trip to California!
It started off as a joke at work, and then the family kept joking "just do it here!" all day Friday and Saturday... by Saturday night, we were sitting at a winery, talked it out, and said "ok, why not? Let's do it here, it's beautiful and we don't need to spend the money and stress of planning a big wedding in another year and a half." My family was shocked when we were like "No, REALLY! We're doing this tomorrow!" but instantly went into overdrive.
My mom and sister found me a beautiful dress and shoes for under $200 at a boutique, my aunts took care of flowers, decorations, and dessert. My brother-in-law got ordained online, and the next evening at sunset, we got married by the pool of the rental house. It was beautiful and perfect, despite being nothing like what we were picturing for what was supposed to be an autumn wedding (aside from my dress which was perfect for what I had envisioned style-wise). We saved so much money, made my 91-year-old grandmother super happy that we did it then and there with her, and I can stop stressing about the guest list because I knew I would either have to cut people in a way that made everyone unhappy or invite a bunch of people that I didn't want to pay for... now, I can truthfully say that it was all last minute in a destination location, so it wasn't intentional to leave anyone out. My dad facebook-lived it, and my other family members and friends could watch it.
I think it was so much more special happening in a whirlwind, just like everything we've done so far! Rather than spend time and money stressing about a "perfect" day that creeps up while we're stressing about it....
And the other thing is, my parents were going to give us money to help with the wedding, and I said I would so much rather take that money and pay down debt. Getting married now already got us a check from my grandmother that is going to help out a LOT in the next couple months of expenses. It was a strategic financial decision in more ways than one! lol not why we did it, of course, but I'm so happy we did!
JessaJade
04-30-2019, 01:38 PM
^Congrats!
lynn2009
04-30-2019, 02:35 PM
We eloped on our family trip to California
Wow congratulations!!
lynn2009
04-30-2019, 08:17 PM
I need a life so bad. I got all my new pups big stuff online but went to Target today for treats and toys. I spread all his toys on the floor already and started playing with a ball by myself.... :/
cyberstripper
05-01-2019, 12:23 AM
It's normal to feel this way. When humans feel slighted/hurt, many want either revenge or for *someone* to punish/teach the "bad guy" (or "girl" as it is sometimes.)
People with Personality Disorders often struggle with seeing others happy...They seems to have an inability to "tough it out" emotionally, feel threatened by emotionally balanced people, and get their feelings of stability/contentment from literally being surrounded by other people (the ultimate "safety in groups" rationalizer.)
My confession- gonna drink the whole damn pot of coffee this morning, and go on a cleaning rampage. Yeahhhhhh partner....yeeehawww
It's normal to feel this way. When humans feel slighted/hurt, many want either revenge or for *someone* to punish/teach the "bad guy" (or "girl" as it is sometimes.)
People with Personality Disorders often struggle with seeing others happy...They seems to have an inability to "tough it out" emotionally, feel threatened by emotionally balanced people, and get their feelings of stability/contentment from literally being surrounded by other people (the ultimate "safety in groups" rationalizer.)
My confession- gonna drink the whole damn pot of coffee this morning, and go on a cleaning rampage. Yeahhhhhh partner....yeeehawww
Agreed and I go on cleaning binges too, I love cleaning!!! Warm me up a pot please, been working my ass off lately.
The narc/socio did a lot wrong in the way of business. He was using my photos and many other women's photos on his site for commercial purposes, and I was one of the few that knew. Most of them did not, and they were nudes and selfies which these girls sent to him so he is not the copyright holder. Even if he was, the girls would need to sign a model release at the very least for him to use them on his site in this manner. He did not have a business license (which is illegal in our county) and did not pay taxes for over a decade.
Nobody in town really has a clue who he truly is and although he has a large social circle, he isn't very liked. He tells people he is a website designer, and then when people ask for his services in his social circle, he makes up excuses like "I have far too many projects right now, blah blah" Not even his closest friends know.
When I stopped seeing him, I really was in a bad place, but not just because of him, it was a combination of many things and I did use drugs/alcohol to cope. At that stage, I was kind of vengeful but never acted on it. But, if I wanted to I could destroy this man in so many ways, and ruin his reputation locally. Instead I decided to focus on myself and living a healthier lifestyle.
I never did seek revenge and don't need to. As I moved past it, I realized that he did not deserve another ounce of my energy, mentally or otherwise. I completely let him go, and he would contact me any way he could to simply start drama. I went no contact months ago. So another confession: I get mad at myself when I mention this man in my real life or talk about my experiences with him as I did above and in a few other posts. But, I try to focus on what I learned from it, not his insane behavior or his treatment of me. I also take personal accountability. I saw the red flags and ignored them for various reasons. I looked at the reasons why I ignored the red flags, and it has shown me what I needed to work on. I did and I am a new person now, and back to myself. I am really happy in life right now and that is the sweetest revenge.
OFC he senses it. When I started moving on, he did try to "narc attack" me with crazy accusations and drama once every few months. The narc types will, to see if they still have an emotional hold over you and to get that reaction they crave. They will do anything to get their next fix. From accusing me of having him followed by a biker gang, to accusing me of giving him an STD, among other psycho behaviors. I did get a STD test and tested clean after we were together. He told me he was experiencing symptoms of herpes, and asked me if I needed to tell him anything. I told him I got an STD test after we were together and was clean, does he need to tell me anything is the question, but after the test we never hooked up and I told him I haven't even slept with him in a year.. I told him to go get tested if he is having symptoms because simply relying on anyone's word for it is foolish. I don't know if he actually did have or contract an STD or if this was all just a narcy narc attack of his to get me to react. After this, I just went no contact, no warning. Blocked everywhere I could, etc. Sadly, he had one of my random email addies and lo and behold, a month into my new relationship there a psycho random email was, him accusing me of stealing equipment this time ofc. I did not respond to that nonsense but had one final thing I needed to take care of.....
I did take action regarding him using my photos on his site. Since I entered a relationship I didn't want to be affiliated with him or his business or want photographic proof of it online. I left this topic alone for months because it would break no contact...but this had to be done. I contacted him person to person in response to his email, left his accusations out of it and told him I would like my photos removed from his website. We were no longer dating, weren't for nearly a year, and I was no longer doing business with him. I received no reply of course. I contacted him again and said if the photos were not removed within 24 hours I have no choice but to send a C&D. He responded and lied, saying that I knew the photos were not me, but he has some upcoming work for me. I replied that I want nothing to do with him or his business. I also informed him I had the original copies of the photos (even though I deleted them long ago lol) and his lie was an invitation for karma to do its bidding. I stated this will not look good for him if I have to take legal action against him. After that, no response again which was predictable. Then I sent the C&D. The next day the photos were removed.
I warned him all along that him using these photos of women in this manner was unethical and illegal and one day it will catch up with him when he fucks with the wrong woman. He actually did with me, but he now knows better than to continue fucking with me. I know far too much about him and can ruin him at any time. But, he will do it to himself and Karma will get him. I thankfully did not have to get a lawyer involved. I have not heard from him since but I know he will try to come at me again. Blocked everywhere and if he does he will just be ignored. I will not react to his nonsense and have moved on completely. I am in such a better place now and actually am glad I met him. He taught me everything I did not want in a man, and taught me to put my peace, happiness, and well being above all else. I know the universe will send me another personality type like this one day, to test me and ensure that I learned my lesson. I plan on getting an A+ on that exam.
I feel bad for people like him. He is completely unaware that he is a narc and has severe mental/emotional issues. He is not a healthy person. And because many narcs have no idea they are narcs, they go left untreated for their issues. They feel the issue lies with everyone else and not them, thus they can never change and never heal. Narcs really do need help and a vast majority of society just has horrible things to say about narcs, because of the way they were treated..but people would not say the same awful things about a person suffering from bi-polar disorder or someone who is schitzo. I am very compassionate towards narcs even though they wreak havoc in peoples lives due to this. A lot of people refuse to take accountability for their part in it as well, for example staying with the narc for years upon years. Although they do gain emotional control over people and make threats, it was the persons choice to stay with the narc after all. I have compassion for them too but they have a tendency of clinging to this victim mindset and continue to give away their personal power, rehashing the events over and over in their minds and all over narc forums. I did put a fair amount of time attempting to figure my narc out, but after a while I only saw this was giving him my energy and my power after the fact.
And now I am like bitch stfu about him lol, giving this post the time that I did. But it is nice to let it out and if others can relate and or gain new perspectives from my experience, great. Perhaps I can even help. :)
cyberstripper
05-01-2019, 12:24 AM
We eloped on our family trip to California!
It started off as a joke at work, and then the family kept joking "just do it here!" all day Friday and Saturday... by Saturday night, we were sitting at a winery, talked it out, and said "ok, why not? Let's do it here, it's beautiful and we don't need to spend the money and stress of planning a big wedding in another year and a half." My family was shocked when we were like "No, REALLY! We're doing this tomorrow!" but instantly went into overdrive.
My mom and sister found me a beautiful dress and shoes for under $200 at a boutique, my aunts took care of flowers, decorations, and dessert. My brother-in-law got ordained online, and the next evening at sunset, we got married by the pool of the rental house. It was beautiful and perfect, despite being nothing like what we were picturing for what was supposed to be an autumn wedding (aside from my dress which was perfect for what I had envisioned style-wise). We saved so much money, made my 91-year-old grandmother super happy that we did it then and there with her, and I can stop stressing about the guest list because I knew I would either have to cut people in a way that made everyone unhappy or invite a bunch of people that I didn't want to pay for... now, I can truthfully say that it was all last minute in a destination location, so it wasn't intentional to leave anyone out. My dad facebook-lived it, and my other family members and friends could watch it.
I think it was so much more special happening in a whirlwind, just like everything we've done so far! Rather than spend time and money stressing about a "perfect" day that creeps up while we're stressing about it....
And the other thing is, my parents were going to give us money to help with the wedding, and I said I would so much rather take that money and pay down debt. Getting married now already got us a check from my grandmother that is going to help out a LOT in the next couple months of expenses. It was a strategic financial decision in more ways than one! lol not why we did it, of course, but I'm so happy we did!
You can still plan a bad ass wedding party! Congrats!!
Aurora_Sunset
05-01-2019, 07:41 AM
You can still plan a bad ass wedding party! Congrats!!
I think that’s the plan! A themed party on the date we would originally have had the wedding. It was going to be Halloween themed so now it will be a big Halloween party with vow renewals for everyone to see. Will be much cheaper though cuz we’ll do it at a house rather than expensive venue and probably just go for snacks and no fancy dinner, as well as save on the fancy place settings and stuff.
whirlerz
05-01-2019, 07:50 AM
We eloped on our family trip to California!
It started off as a joke at work, and then the family kept joking "just do it here!" all day Friday and Saturday... by Saturday night, we were sitting at a winery, talked it out, and said "ok, why not? Let's do it here, it's beautiful and we don't need to spend the money and stress of planning a big wedding in another year and a half." My family was shocked when we were like "No, REALLY! We're doing this tomorrow!" but instantly went into overdrive.
My mom and sister found me a beautiful dress and shoes for under $200 at a boutique, my aunts took care of flowers, decorations, and dessert. My brother-in-law got ordained online, and the next evening at sunset, we got married by the pool of the rental house. It was beautiful and perfect, despite being nothing like what we were picturing for what was supposed to be an autumn wedding (aside from my dress which was perfect for what I had envisioned style-wise). We saved so much money, made my 91-year-old grandmother super happy that we did it then and there with her, and I can stop stressing about the guest list because I knew I would either have to cut people in a way that made everyone unhappy or invite a bunch of people that I didn't want to pay for... now, I can truthfully say that it was all last minute in a destination location, so it wasn't intentional to leave anyone out. My dad facebook-lived it, and my other family members and friends could watch it.
I think it was so much more special happening in a whirlwind, just like everything we've done so far! Rather than spend time and money stressing about a "perfect" day that creeps up while we're stressing about it....
And the other thing is, my parents were going to give us money to help with the wedding, and I said I would so much rather take that money and pay down debt. Getting married now already got us a check from my grandmother that is going to help out a LOT in the next couple months of expenses. It was a strategic financial decision in more ways than one! lol not why we did it, of course, but I'm so happy we did!
Congrats!
Can we see some pics, tho? You can blur faces, if you want!
Thanks!:drink:
WendiStarr
05-01-2019, 08:27 AM
Ugh, I hate bf's work! He told me that after tomorrow I won't see him for a month. I wish he had waited until after I was off of vanilla job to tell me that. The pms crybaby monster is hitting me today. I sat there silently crying at my desk, hoping that my coworkers and boss didn't walk in and see me doing that. I'm fighting the urge to cry again.
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-01-2019, 08:42 AM
We eloped on our family trip to California!
It started off as a joke at work, and then the family kept joking "just do it here!" all day Friday and Saturday... by Saturday night, we were sitting at a winery, talked it out, and said "ok, why not? Let's do it here, it's beautiful and we don't need to spend the money and stress of planning a big wedding in another year and a half." My family was shocked when we were like "No, REALLY! We're doing this tomorrow!" but instantly went into overdrive.
My mom and sister found me a beautiful dress and shoes for under $200 at a boutique, my aunts took care of flowers, decorations, and dessert. My brother-in-law got ordained online, and the next evening at sunset, we got married by the pool of the rental house. It was beautiful and perfect, despite being nothing like what we were picturing for what was supposed to be an autumn wedding (aside from my dress which was perfect for what I had envisioned style-wise). We saved so much money, made my 91-year-old grandmother super happy that we did it then and there with her, and I can stop stressing about the guest list because I knew I would either have to cut people in a way that made everyone unhappy or invite a bunch of people that I didn't want to pay for... now, I can truthfully say that it was all last minute in a destination location, so it wasn't intentional to leave anyone out. My dad facebook-lived it, and my other family members and friends could watch it.
I think it was so much more special happening in a whirlwind, just like everything we've done so far! Rather than spend time and money stressing about a "perfect" day that creeps up while we're stressing about it....
And the other thing is, my parents were going to give us money to help with the wedding, and I said I would so much rather take that money and pay down debt. Getting married now already got us a check from my grandmother that is going to help out a LOT in the next couple months of expenses. It was a strategic financial decision in more ways than one! lol not why we did it, of course, but I'm so happy we did!
Congratulations!!!!!!!!
I am so very happy for you.
Glamourmilf
05-01-2019, 10:05 AM
I really miss dancing/escorting.
The cash in hand has always been addictive for me.
I have to wait weeks, sometimes a month before I see a cam paycheck. Ugh!
I also miss the attention from men.
The prezzies. The investment, life tips.
Not sure what to do, but I'm going to do something besides camming.
I'm just afraid to get busted, since the game has changed.
Maybe pursue cuddling?
:-\