Log in

View Full Version : Confessions Thread!



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 [300] 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426

WendiStarr
09-09-2019, 08:08 AM
I wish it was February already so that I could finally see and hold my baby. I don't think I will stop fearing late term miscarriage until I am in the 3rd trimester. I have had so many miscarriages that I could not bear to go through that again. Then I worry about what if I went through all these months of pregnancy only to deliver a stillborn. That would kill me. My heart has been broken too many times to withstand loss again. I feel excited every time I buy more baby girl clothes and baby stuff but I don't know how to stop worrying.

Elektra Luxx
09-10-2019, 02:00 PM
I hate sex scenes and kissing in movies. If I wanted to see that I would go do it myself!!!!

Exactly!

Sex scenes and kissing in movies or TV shows makes me uncomfortable. Plus they are hardly ever necessary to move the story along. What about a fade out when you know the characters are about to have sex?

seashell
09-12-2019, 01:24 PM
This is heavy, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I'm pretty sure I had undiagnosed, untreated PTSD for most of my 20's. All of the symptoms and criteria fit into that part of my life. I'm mostly doing better, now. But I feel like I lost about 10 years of my life to mental illness.

JGB2009
09-12-2019, 06:04 PM
Exactly!

Sex scenes and kissing in movies or TV shows makes me uncomfortable. Plus they are hardly ever necessary to move the story along. What about a fade out when you know the characters are about to have sex?

Hahaha that would be gr8!!!!!!

NitaBaby
09-12-2019, 06:41 PM
Seriously thought I was the only one. I've hated the sound of kissing my whole entire life. It's like hearing someone slowly smack on a bowl of thick macaroni. Kill me bitch

Elektra Luxx
09-13-2019, 07:48 AM
Bf was pissed at me this morning. We went to bed early last and he was expecting some fun, but I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. So he let me know this morning. I didn't even argue with him. I'm too tired.

He's always grabbing, squeezing or pinching something on me. I like the attention most of the time, but Dude!! Give it a rest!! He acts like he hasn't had sex in a month. Sheesh!!

Aurora_Sunset
09-13-2019, 12:16 PM
Totally blowing off my ASL lesson today for no good reason. I told her something came up, and I feel bad lying, but I'm just not up to it today. I'm hungover and don't feel like I have the mental capacity to do the more demanding interpreting that we've been working on lately.

Aurora_Sunset
09-13-2019, 12:23 PM
Bf was pissed at me this morning. We went to bed early last and he was expecting some fun, but I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. So he let me know this morning. I didn't even argue with him. I'm too tired.

He's always grabbing, squeezing or pinching something on me. I like the attention most of the time, but Dude!! Give it a rest!! He acts like he hasn't had sex in a month. Sheesh!!

Gawd, same! We'll go like 2-3 days without sex and husband acts like it's been an eternity.

He's always comparing our sex life now to when we first started hooking up and pouting about how we used to have sex 3 times a night and it seemed like I couldn't keep my hands off him, so obviously the fact that we've slowed down means I am just no longer attracted to him. ::)

Sat him down yesterday and told him that when we were first hooking up, neither of us had much responsibilities. We were both financially stable, not working allll the goddam time, and didn't have constant stress hanging over our heads. I also reminded him that both of us initially assumed that we were just a temporary fling, so yeah, I sacrificed sleep and time to have some good sex, thinking it wasn't going to last more than a few months and then I'd be moving on with my life. Nowadays, we have a lot more shit going on, and it is just literally not possible for us to spend 3 hours having sex every day and keep up with the rest of our adult life and responsibilities lol It's not like we go weeks or months without... he's not gonna die.

Elektra Luxx
09-13-2019, 01:13 PM
Gawd, same! We'll go like 2-3 days without sex and husband acts like it's been an eternity.

He's always comparing our sex life now to when we first started hooking up and pouting about how we used to have sex 3 times a night and it seemed like I couldn't keep my hands off him, so obviously the fact that we've slowed down means I am just no longer attracted to him. ::)

Sat him down yesterday and told him that when we were first hooking up, neither of us had much responsibilities. We were both financially stable, not working allll the goddam time, and didn't have constant stress hanging over our heads. I also reminded him that both of us initially assumed that we were just a temporary fling, so yeah, I sacrificed sleep and time to have some good sex, thinking it wasn't going to last more than a few months and then I'd be moving on with my life. Nowadays, we have a lot more shit going on, and it is just literally not possible for us to spend 3 hours having sex every day and keep up with the rest of our adult life and responsibilities lol It's not like we go weeks or months without... he's not gonna die.

Same, same!

I definitely thought it was a temporary thing too, but the jerk tricked me into falling in love with his chubby ass.

carmen_b
09-13-2019, 08:47 PM
This is all part of my grand plan. I have had some 12 hour work days and less time to chat with M.
I knew this would be the perfect time to lean back ( feminine energy style lol ) and let him come to me.

I decided not to tell him exactly when my job was ending and when I was on my way back.
I am going to make him work for that info and the next time slot on my calendar.
He has texted multiple times today ( obviously wanting to know when I am on way back ). ;)
It is clear that he wants to see me. Even if it isn't my type A style of planning 3-4 days ahead.

I have actually told him " If I'm not planning socially 2-4 days ahead, there just won't be any time " .
I think I'll let it slide a bit a call 24-48 hours ahead good ..... probably not worth fighting about.

lynn2009
09-14-2019, 01:33 PM
Ive been so, so tired this week. Falling asleep on the couch watching tv so sleeping like shit, too tired to eat or clean, not taking my poor dog out often or long enough. I have a phone interview next week and I dont know what I'd do if they made an offer. It cant be remote so I'd have to stay in MD however much longer to work there. But I can't take my current job much longer. I'm ready to quit and ride out the rest of my lease on savings soon.

xStacey
09-14-2019, 07:52 PM
I haven't been this depressed in a long time. When things are good, everything is going so well, but when it's shit, I am really down the rabbit hole. This year has been so shitty, broke up with ex bf over the holidays, father passed away, mother going crazy, finished my graduate degree and went back to my law firm where things changed so dramatically in less than one year and half the people I liked left and were replaced, then was sexually harassed by 3 men at work, filed a formal complaint and the firm actually protected the 3 men, and treated me so unjustly. I will probably be suing my firm, but have to find another firm first. But I am currently at the Bar School, it's already so demanding without all those personal issues going on. My close friends are also dealing with some pretty serious issues, I have classmates battling with cancer... I haven't been this sad in a long time.

I am surprised that after 6 years of University and two law degrees, I still have to depend on my part-time income in sex work. I am hoping to leave in 1 year max, but I am really grateful, that it is possible to work a few hours when I have time during the Bar School, then the 1 month I have to wait for my results before I get to start my internship to be called to the bar, I get to work full-time on my terms, while some colleagues are complaining they cannot find a job to work only 1 month, and that if it happens that the firm where I will be at during my internship (after I quit my current firm due to harassment) does not have room to hire back in the practice group I want like it happened to some of my colleagues, that I will be able to have a source of income for that undetermined period of time that could range from a couple of weeks to months before landing on my feet. It's crazy, with all the student loans and bills to pay back, I don't know how some people without rich parents do, although the majority are rich kids with parents who fund their schooling and lifestyle, but it's kinda sad, some students spent so much time at school, and at 30 still live with their parents, unable to pay for their own meals eating out, tuition or apartment... Some people work 30-40 hours per week while having to study 40 hours per week or more... and others put everything on their line of credit and end up with debts in the 6 figures. I am still grateful for sex work and will forever be even when I will be successfully retired.

charlie61
09-14-2019, 09:20 PM
This is heavy, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I'm pretty sure I had undiagnosed, untreated PTSD for most of my 20's. All of the symptoms and criteria fit into that part of my life. I'm mostly doing better, now. But I feel like I lost about 10 years of my life to mental illness.

I wouldn't admit it to anyone other than this group, but i wonder the same about myself. I started dancing and doing sex work two years before i started having sex, and at the time i felt fine, but I'm starting to wonder if it affected me deeply. Other fairly big things have happened outside of sex work, too (being in a relationship with an addict for over ten years, being bullied and socially excluded as a child, living in a home with constant negative tension between parents, etc.) Over time, i can't believe how much my life has improved, but sometimes the progress can feel so slow...

NitaBaby
09-15-2019, 02:11 AM
I'm the worst friend sometimes. Women love asking for relationship advice and this is the one area where I purposely supply little help. Most of them are with a guy who either treats them like shit or who might be cheating...or both. And after coming from an abusive relationship I get really hurt seeing another woman go through the warning signs or putting up with shit that still gives me nightmares. But too many of you bitches ask for advice that you don't take.

Not really talking about regular relationship issues or couples that are always arguing; this is just for those friends who have 1) had to ask themselves if being grabbed too hard is abusive 2) have had to get tested while in a monogamous relationship 3) have ever asked how they're going to afford to leave 4) have already been cheated on but stayed. If I got paid for pointing out a dude who was going to cheat or ball up his fist one day I wouldn't even need to cam. So yeah, now I'm the worst friend. I completely stop caring if they go back to him. Like, how dare you complain when this is clearly what you wanted? Deal with his bullshit like a big girl and hush. You are literally choosing this. I cried in front of this one girl, begging her to just leave my cousin (my cousin!), because he wasn't even hiding his other women anymore. She cried too. It was a beautiful heart-to-heart. Now he has a baby by someone else and that girl is still with him.

I'm so done. I can't hang around people like that. Watching you crash and burn after being exposed to better judgement is like witnessing an actual car accident. If you're hell bent on losing pieces of yourself, don't involve other people who care about you. Honestly, get the dumb choices out of your system first, then ask for help when you're actually going to use it. And for Christ's sake, don't whine when he does what he's always done. You stuck around for it.

SnuffleUffleGrass
09-15-2019, 04:49 AM
I haven't been this depressed in a long time. When things are good, everything is going so well, but when it's shit, I am really down the rabbit hole. This year has been so shitty, broke up with ex bf over the holidays, father passed away, mother going crazy, finished my graduate degree and went back to my law firm where things changed so dramatically in less than one year and half the people I liked left and were replaced, then was sexually harassed by 3 men at work, filed a formal complaint and the firm actually protected the 3 men, and treated me so unjustly. I will probably be suing my firm, but have to find another firm first. But I am currently at the Bar School, it's already so demanding without all those personal issues going on. My close friends are also dealing with some pretty serious issues, I have classmates battling with cancer... I haven't been this sad in a long time.

I am surprised that after 6 years of University and two law degrees, I still have to depend on my part-time income in sex work. I am hoping to leave in 1 year max, but I am really grateful, that it is possible to work a few hours when I have time during the Bar School, then the 1 month I have to wait for my results before I get to start my internship to be called to the bar, I get to work full-time on my terms, while some colleagues are complaining they cannot find a job to work only 1 month, and that if it happens that the firm where I will be at during my internship (after I quit my current firm due to harassment) does not have room to hire back in the practice group I want like it happened to some of my colleagues, that I will be able to have a source of income for that undetermined period of time that could range from a couple of weeks to months before landing on my feet. It's crazy, with all the student loans and bills to pay back, I don't know how some people without rich parents do, although the majority are rich kids with parents who fund their schooling and lifestyle, but it's kinda sad, some students spent so much time at school, and at 30 still live with their parents, unable to pay for their own meals eating out, tuition or apartment... Some people work 30-40 hours per week while having to study 40 hours per week or more... and others put everything on their line of credit and end up with debts in the 6 figures. I am still grateful for sex work and will forever be even when I will be successfully retired.

Babe, you need a nice normal Sugar Daddy.


My confession- push is coming to shove in regards to me and boyfriend's combined income. Ughhh.

Aurora_Sunset
09-15-2019, 09:22 AM
Giving myself permission to be lazy today. Gonna write a lot, do some art, and maybe play some video games. Will probably eventually wander into applying for more jobs and setting up a schedule for productivity for the rest of the month and some of October. But I'm not going to push myself to work today or stress out about it.

I think sometimes, I spend a whole day off but still don't feel relaxed from it, because I didn't give myself the green-light to just take the damn day off and focus on myself. I was being "lazy," sure, but I spend all my mental power beating myself up all day about how I should be doing something else. If I just allow myself to relax and focus on what I want to focus on without guilt, I think I will be much more likely to soak up the power of a true day off and be more willing to buckle down for the rest of the week.

Aurora_Sunset
09-15-2019, 09:47 AM
I'm the worst friend sometimes. Women love asking for relationship advice and this is the one area where I purposely supply little help.

So yeah, now I'm the worst friend. I completely stop caring if they go back to him.

I don't think this makes you a bad friend. It's what you have to do for your own sanity.

I actually think it takes a big person to admit that they don't have control over other people's decisions and to stop trying to shove advice on them. So many people get so personally butt-hurt and bent out of shape over people not taking their advice that they rant and stress themselves to death over these people that they have NO control over. I have a friend who I think his most toxic trait is that he thinks that him giving advice automatically means that people HAVE to take it, and if they don't, he gets so personally upset that this person didn't listen to him and their life continues to suck. My ex was a chronic obsessive "helper," where he would personally take on the burden of thinking he HAD to have the solution to everyone else's problems, (even when they didn't ask), and when they wouldn't listen to him, he'd get inconsolably upset. It was like he attached his own self-worth to whether or not he could "fix" what he saw as issues with everyone around him. Honestly, it's infantilizing and narcissistic to think that you should be able to have that much pull over other people's lives and decisions.

People are adults. They make their own choices. And you can only offer so much advice to those who aren't ready to take it and follow through on it. You gotta let people live their own lives, crummy choices and all. And there's nothing wrong with realizing that and backing off. It frees up so much mental space and reduces stress for yourself.

When I worked at the women's shelter, this was one thing they pounded into us. We can give advice, sympathy, and options, but we can never make the decisions for the woman on the other end of the line. If they want to leave, we will give them advice, help, and options for leaving. But if they call in talking about how their husband sticks a gun in their face every night, but all they want to do at that time is make a safety plan of where they can run to and hide until he "calms down," then that's what we help them with - we don't tell them they're an idiot for not just leaving, because they're big girls and that's not what they want to do, so trying to force our own decisions on them would just cause a total shut-down and not help at all. We help with what we're asked to help with, maybe throw in some statements reassuring them that his behavior isn't ok and we hope they take care of themselves and to please call back whenever they want more help or someone to talk to, but that's it. They already have a controlling asshole in their life, they have to be free to make at least these decisions for themselves.

We also have a saying in EMS: "It's not your emergency." It means, calm down, you're not the one dying, so getting worked up about it isn't going to help anything. Taking it personally if the person with breathing issues leaves the hospital and proceeds to light up another cigarette and calls an ambulance again isn't going to change anything or make you feel better. We were called to help, so we help, but we can't take anything personally or it will bog us down.

I have several friends who spent/are stilling spending years in abusive situations, and I've gotten to the point where I realized I can't take it to heart anymore. I'm still their friend, but I offer very little in terms of advice if they call me up crying about something. I love them, I feel for them, I tell them that what they're going through isn't ok and I'll be there for them if/when they want to make a different choice. But then I hang up, and I go about my life. I can't waste too much of my breath or my emotional turmoil on being angry that they never listen. I have to live and let live, and sometimes love from a distance.

Anyway, just something to think about... hope it helps a little bit with the frustration. I know the feeling all too well.

NitaBaby
09-15-2019, 10:35 AM
Anyway, just something to think about... hope it helps a little bit with the frustration. I know the feeling all too well.

So well said, and I couldn't agree more.

carmen_b
09-15-2019, 01:57 PM
“ Be Mature. You don’t need sex before the dinner starts. You can wait. Grow Up. “

( current self talk )

WendiStarr
09-18-2019, 03:10 PM
My boobs were 34D. I'm scared to find out what size they are now because they've gotten huge. I've just been buying sports bra's and bralettes that say L or XL.

PuppyBrat22
09-18-2019, 03:28 PM
After moving to a new state to finish uni, I've realized that I'm a lot more prissy and stuck up than I realized. I had planned to dance while I went to school here to offset costs, but I feel like the are is too trashy and I absolutely don't feel comfortable dancing here. I feel like a bit of a brat because I can't help but turn my nose up at how the people here behave.

Elektra Luxx
09-18-2019, 04:02 PM
...I've realized that I'm a lot more prissy and stuck up than I realized. ...

IMHO, sometimes you have to be.

Elektra Luxx
09-19-2019, 01:33 PM
I'm flirty. Bf knows that about me because I'm flirty in front of him. Since he started losing weight and feeling better about himself and he has become flirty too.

There's a double standard when it comes to me. I admit it, too bad he's going to have to deal with it. If he ever flirted with someone like the way I flirt with McDonald's Guy I'd be super pissed!

Sometimes I do feel like he's being shady.

Glamourmilf
09-20-2019, 07:17 AM
The 2nd anniversary of my Mom's death is Sunday, and I have been really depressed since the calendar hit Sept.
I keep reliving those last 2 weeks of her life. Watching it, like it's on some loop.
If anyone here has been through this, you know what I'm talking about.
Their organs shut down. They get a fever that doesn't break. They sleep all the time. Horrible to watch.
I just need to be left alone and work through these feelings.
Why, oh why doesn't anyone let me?
My so called friends keep bothering me, at random times of the day. Always wanting something.
Doesn't mean a thing that I'm greiving. Working.
Go AWAY!
Leave me alone!
There's a thing in Scientology (I'm not a Scientologist, but a lady I used to be friends with had been), called "Retreat".
It's when you just shut out the world, and disappear for a while.
I first learned about this technique when I came home from strip trips. I was too exhausted to even speak to anyone. Let alone have to be ' on' and do things for people.
I have to say, it's a really good thing to do. I always came out of it feeling refreshed.
Time to "Retreat".
Glam, out.
51942
51943

Aurora_Sunset
09-20-2019, 01:01 PM
I want a weekend away... A whole weekend devoted to chilling and planning and thinking about the future, and focusing on learning self-paced stuff to move me forward. I wouldn't even just blow it by watching TV. I really want a space to meditate on what I want my life to become from here (so hippy-dippy, I know lol). Most days just consist of a few stolen hours between social, family, work, and personal obligations. Closing myself in the bedroom works for some extra hours sometimes, but then it's coupled with guilt over not spending time with my stepkids or going out and making money for us instead.

I've thought about asking a friend out-of-state if she would mind me coming up to crash and just hang out for a few days. I honestly think it would be good for me.

But then I'd feel guilty about husband never getting the same luxury. I can tell he has reached a critical point of burnout in work and "adulting."

Elektra Luxx
09-20-2019, 01:42 PM
The 2nd anniversary of my Mom's death is Sunday, and I have been really depressed since the calendar hit Sept.

Sending Hugs

Glamourmilf
09-20-2019, 06:36 PM
Sending Hugs

Thank You Elektra.
That means a lot.:-*:heartbeat

Ifyouseekamy
09-21-2019, 01:24 AM
Take care glamourmilf I don't know you in real life, but I appreciate your posts. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you.

SnuffleUffleGrass
09-21-2019, 07:15 AM
Confession- I don't really want to spend time with my Boyfriend today. The stresses of work and life have really made the past week terrible. I'm praying he chills this weekend and is pleasant to be around.

Glamourmilf
09-21-2019, 07:28 AM
Take care glamourmilf I don't know you in real life, but I appreciate your posts. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you.
Thank You.:heartbeat:hug:

miss.a.p1600
09-21-2019, 01:59 PM
I’ll never forget the time I gave a lap dance to the freaky bisexual woman. Her boyfriend watched but looked confused as hell lol....like he was questioning his manhood or something lol *insert cry laugh emoji here*

lynn2009
09-21-2019, 06:14 PM
Please know I am well aware that I am a total fucking asshole.

I signed up with the mentoring program Big Brother Big Sister early this year and got matched with a Little around the end of March and I regret this whole thing so much. Aside from the fact that my Little spends 100% of her life on her phone, she never wants to do anything but go to Dave and Busters or out to eat. I tried a few times to take her to museums or beautiful gardens around DC and after the third time that one of these outings took up an entire Saturday or Sunday, cost 50+ and took almost 3 hours of driving I called it. I don't want to drop out completely but I'm not doing anything but taking her for quick Starbucks runs, or fro yo or whatever anymore. But even that gets expensive because this girl is not shy about asking for stuff, and needs a full meal every time she is with me. And her mom is supposed to pay for her daughter's expenses but she's never offered and I never bothered to ask. Shes a single mom but they live in a brand new luxury townhome. Whatever. The driving alone drives me insane, it takes me half an hour to get to their house if I'm lucky and they live further away from civilization in Maryland than I do. So by the time I drive to pick her up, drive to do something
, drop her off and get home, that alone eats up almost 2 hours.

All this to say, she visited her dad on the West Coast over the summer, then our schedules didn't line up before I was on vacation, then I was having issues with the BBBS office but now I am taking her out for Starbucks tomorrow. We are both extremely quiet people so talking to her can be like pulling teeth and for me to try to engage that much is exhausting. I wish we could just call it because she obviously doesn't want to do this anymore either. Ive told the office as much but they say her mom insists she likes spending time with me so I guess we are going through the motions again.

NitaBaby
09-21-2019, 06:41 PM
TMI ALERT
You've been warned...

I was on chaturbate just now, breaking in my new fuck machine, right. When I felt like I had to pee RIGHT TF NOW. I logged off, went to the restroom (doing the potty dance and everything), and then went back to my fuck machine and my abysmal earnings.

As soon as I put that thing back in me I felt like I had to pee again. like, I couldn't hold it. I literally thought to myself "oh shit, I'm about to pee in my fucking bed". Side note: I just got my new webcam in today which I bought for the sole purpose of showing certain angles without me having to move. So my second cam was aimed directly at my vagene and something in my brain said 'push'. So I saw with my own two eyes the way this liquid gushed out of my body in a very non-pissy type of way. I think I squirted.

carmen_b
09-23-2019, 07:45 AM
Lynn :

Shameless sugar baby in training haha.

Edit to add : I'd probably set some limits such as 50% affordable outings and a suggestion of no phones for 30-45 min. in a block or something like that to start. You both are not really getting anything of it while she eats and zones on a phone .

Vyanka
09-24-2019, 01:20 AM
I'm dating the chubby version of Jason Mamoa. I want him to drop the weight, cut the junk food, and build the damn muscles. Idk how to kindly tell him. Lol.

Vyanka
09-24-2019, 01:24 AM
The 2nd anniversary of my Mom's death is Sunday, and I have been really depressed since the calendar hit Sept.
I keep reliving those last 2 weeks of her life. Watching it, like it's on some loop.
If anyone here has been through this, you know what I'm talking about.
Their organs shut down. They get a fever that doesn't break. They sleep all the time. Horrible to watch.
I just need to be left alone and work through these feelings.
Why, oh why doesn't anyone let me?
My so called friends keep bothering me, at random times of the day. Always wanting something.
Doesn't mean a thing that I'm greiving. Working.
Go AWAY!
Leave me alone!
There's a thing in Scientology (I'm not a Scientologist, but a lady I used to be friends with had been), called "Retreat".
It's when you just shut out the world, and disappear for a while.
I first learned about this technique when I came home from strip trips. I was too exhausted to even speak to anyone. Let alone have to be ' on' and do things for people.
I have to say, it's a really good thing to do. I always came out of it feeling refreshed.
Time to "Retreat".
Glam, out.
51942
51943

Retreats are the best. Hope you feel better soon.

carmen_b
09-24-2019, 08:43 AM
I'm dating a guy who is a little heavier now too . I've seen old photos ( omg ) and he says he is committed to losing weight . I never comment on it because I have been harassed by a partner before about having a " normal " physique v.s. athletic. I don't want to put anyone through that.
But yeah ..... I hope they both get into amazing shape !! He a " monster " as usual haha ( 6'8'' ). He is " curvy" definitely and only 1 out of about 5 of his photos were completely accurate online but his personality and sense of adventure carries a lot to me.


;)


I'm dating the chubby version of Jason Mamoa. I want him to drop the weight, cut the junk food, and build the damn muscles. Idk how to kindly tell him. Lol.

Aurora_Sunset
09-27-2019, 06:26 PM
I'm jealous that the rest of my family has been spending so much time together lately. Now 2 of my aunts and my grandmother live in the same place after they moved a few months ago. They then went up to visit my parents all together. Now, this week, my mom's 60th birthday, my parents are out visiting my sister. They have another "girl's weekend" coming up in November. I'm invited to that, but I doubt I'll be able to go. I'm still hurt that my mom initially said she would let me know when my aunts and grandmother were visiting them so I could maybe go up and hang out for a weekend as well, and then she never let me know.

I just feel like the outsider. My parents will take off work and fly across the country to visit my sister because they have stuff to do out there, but they won't drive 4 1/2 hours to visit me for a weekend unless there's some other underlying reason, like helping with a move or a football game they want to see down here. Everyone else is entering this phase of either retirement or career stability where they have more free time and money, and I can never afford the money or time for a trip. But it seems a little shitty that no one ever offers to come to me.

Glamourmilf
09-28-2019, 08:27 AM
Retreats are the best. Hope you feel better soon.
Aw, thank you Vyanka. You know that I hold a special place in my heart:heartbeat for You.
I've never been on a retreat, but I heard that they're very peaceful. Hope I can get to one someday.
I had to work, so I did the 'basic' retreat concept.
I.E. Shut off the phone, and stayed inside, ( away from people). Being around crowds is just too overwhelming right now.
Basically, be away from anyone​ that's going to throw expectations upon me.
I went to one of my grief groups on Wednesday, so that really helped.
It really helped to spend time with other's who have lost someone special, and to hear their stories.
I love the facilitator too. He's dedicated his life to grief counseling. He's very, very kind and compassionate.
I need more people in my life like him.

lynn2009
09-28-2019, 08:39 AM
I'm not sure what to do when you are estranged from family but there is an emergency. I blocked my parents from calling or texting me, because they wouldn't fucking stop. But my mom emailed me that my grandmother had a stroke and is likely to pass away in a few days to month. And also they are putting one of their dogs down today.

charlie61
09-28-2019, 07:19 PM
I had an orgasm during sex/oral a couple of weeks ago for the first time in...a decade?

I'm asexual, but highly orgasmic by myself. Partnered orgasms have happened before...a long time ago. This time, i came partially because we'd had sex a few times + oral, so my body was just stimulated enough to make it possible. But i think it's also because i stopped using my Hitachi a few months ago (because i wanted to see if it'd affect my ability to have partnered orgasms). I have mixed feelings about stopping. The Hitachi gives me such intense orgasms that I'm not sure it's worth never using it in order to have the occasional partnered orgasm. But coming during sex was satisfying in a different way, and made the interaction feel more...equal? I don't know.

Vyanka
09-28-2019, 09:49 PM
Aw, thank you Vyanka. You know that I hold a special place in my heart:heartbeat for You.
I've never been on a retreat, but I heard that they're very peaceful. Hope I can get to one someday.
I had to work, so I did the 'basic' retreat concept.
I.E. Shut off the phone, and stayed inside, ( away from people). Being around crowds is just too overwhelming right now.
Basically, be away from anyone​ that's going to throw expectations upon me.
I went to one of my grief groups on Wednesday, so that really helped.
It really helped to spend time with other's who have lost someone special, and to hear their stories.
I love the facilitator too. He's dedicated his life to grief counseling. He's very, very kind and compassionate.
I need more people in my life like him.

:)

You can always reach out whenever you want/ready. ;)

Ifyouseekamy
09-28-2019, 10:12 PM
Some days being an independent women is empowering other days I feel lonely and horny. Mostly it’s empowering

seashell
09-28-2019, 11:32 PM
I told my mom the truth about stripping, after 10 years of keeping it a secret. It was a really emotional conversation that I never thought would happen. Can't believe that it finally did. I never imagined she'd handle it so well, and that I'd feel so much better afterward.

carmen_b
09-29-2019, 09:56 AM
Amazing !! ^^

Glamourmilf
09-29-2019, 10:05 AM
:)

You can always reach out whenever you want/ready. ;)

Thank You.
I think about you often, and miss talking with You.
Your the only sane person I know. I can't relate to most of the people out here in lala land.
Plus, it's so freeing to talk to another sex worker. I don't know any out here.
Let's do a chat this week?
52006

Vyanka
09-29-2019, 10:10 AM
Thank You.
I think about you often, and miss talking with You.
Your the only sane person I know. I can't relate to most of the people out here in lala land.
Plus, it's so freeing to talk to another sex worker. I don't know any out here.
Let's do a chat this week?
52006

:yes:

Yes ;)

...

cyberstripper
09-30-2019, 01:50 AM
Cot damn I missed you ladies and this thread-So many positive changes in my life recently and been accomplishing goals on cam. I turned my life around. My relationship is going well and it is one of the healthiest relationships I have been in.

I confess I think about all of you. I hope everyone is doing well-I just disappear from time to time.

Another confession? My bf told me (he accepts my work fully) but i have expressed to him it is no longer very fulfilling yet I am still happy. I have told him many non adult business ideas and he is very supportive. However, I must take my knowledge of this industry to help others.

Id like to start a smaller independent camsite...it will be quite the project. I know models hate agents, but to beta test I am signing up as an agent with a few cam sites, etc. My goal is to be a camgirl coach, kind of like a life coach. I know on this site you will either love or hate me, but I have been in camming since 2001 and not many can say that. I want to truly help models, there really is no money in becoming a webcam agent or cyber studio. My intentions are pure. I am just letting this out, but will seek much more advice from all of you in the appropriate threads. Its so nice to be able to work on my true passions. I am so grateful for this!

KariSwitch
09-30-2019, 11:16 AM
Totally pissed today... Been seeing/hooking up with a girl I met at the gym for about 3 weeks now. Ran into her yesterday randomly at a sports bar at the beach where she's with a dude who she's married to... She said she doesn't date guys only girls - guess there was a caveat; she's married to a guy but only dates girls on the side.

I thought about keying her car at the gym today, but decided I'd rather not go to jail...

charlie61
09-30-2019, 12:06 PM
Totally pissed today... Been seeing/hooking up with a girl I met at the gym for about 3 weeks now. Ran into her yesterday randomly at a sports bar at the beach where she's with a dude who she's married to... She said she doesn't date guys only girls - guess there was a caveat; she's married to a guy but only dates girls on the side.

I thought about keying her car at the gym today, but decided I'd rather not go to jail...

That's kind of heartbreaking. I feel like being betrayed by women can hurt worse than being betrayed by men. :(